Newspaper Page Text
1 ortured By
Rheumatism.
A Purely Vegetable Blood
Remedy is the Only
Cure.
If the iw*"'; • geißTitliy know the*
I ;u<r <>: RL-iilt:;: i i>in. there
v.-< i.. > ni> ; 1 i■ • i;as !ini-
, loi i<-I! • !'<>r t l>i- painful
ni i<| <iisablin£' ( l Th” fact is.
i.in'Ui,i.;i !.->ni is a disonb red staff*
■ ! ;!;<• blood —it can be reached,
! i,-*r<*foi•*. onlv through the blood.
tilt all blood j• 'iin ni>'.s can not cure
■;m .I i s tn. for 11 is an obstinate
. ... a-.', one v, :;ich requires a real
i .'.J —o:ii<*l hing more than
; m: re- tonic. Swift’s Specific is
i;■ > oiilv r -ai iiiood remedy, and it
promptly o' s t<> the very bottom
of even (j.o most obstinate case.
\ years ago I was taken with in
i' •■■■ .i* ry IthauniatSm.which,though
n,:i»! nt -1. became gradually so in
n-iio? that I was lor weeks unable to
>;t 1 tri d several prominent physi-
. :ans and took their treatment faith
fully, but wa- unable toget the slightest
relief. In i::< - t. my condition seemed to
grow worse the pains spread over my
entire body and from November to
March I stiffen d agony. I tried many
patent med i<*ines, but none relieved me.
Upon the advice of a friend I decided to
try S. S. S. Before allowing me to take
it, however, my guardian, who was a
chemist,analyzed the remedy, and pro
nounced it free of potash or mercury.
Roses do not secret honey in their
flowers. Insects are simply attract
ed by the perfume and rich colors
and by the abundant supply of pol
len, which serves as food.
Frankfort has the largest theater
in Germany. It seats 1,900 persons.
Cologne comes next, with a theater
of l,?20 seating capacity.
In the town hall at Sydney is
built the largest pipe organ in the
world. It has five manuals and
pedals and 116 stope.
'♦'A '■♦’A A
| “Pitts’ —- f
| Carminative j
| Saved My Baby’a Ufa.” J
£ ♦*
? LAMAR 4 RANKIN DRUG CO.i f
y I can not recommend Pitts' Car- r
F minative too strongly. I must say, J
J I owe nay baby’s life to it. 4
x I earnestly ask all mothers who J
have sickly or delicate children just I
9 to try one bottle and see what the £
f result will be. Respectfully, J
J Mrs. LIZZIE MURRAY, |
• Johnson's Station, Ga.
i ** J
J Pitts' Carminative J
5 Is sold by all DrugglsSe. x
T PHICE, 26 OBITS.
For sale by E. E. Dixon & Co., Gainesville, Ga.
\ f f _.«J lEwfew
Il V The most fascinating inven.
Il tionofthenge. Alwaysrcady
, '/ to entertain. It requires nq
7 skill to operate it andrepro
duce the music of bands, or.
11 ~ s ehestras, vocalists or instru
‘wrTt mental soloists. There is
.JSsJ's nothing like it for an even
ing’s entertainment at home or in the social gath
ering. You can sing or talk to it and it will
reproduce immediately and as often as desired,
your song or words.
Other so-called talking machines reproduce
only records of ent and dried subjects, specially
prepared in a laboratory; but the Graphophone is
not limited to such performances. On the Grapho
phone you can easily makeand instantly reproduce
records of the voice, or any /sound. Thus it con
stantly awakens new interest and its eharm is ever
fresh. The reproductions are clear and brilliant.
Grapftopftonss are saw torsion
Manufactured under the patents of Bell, Tainter
Edison and Macdonald. Our establishment is liend
quarters of the world for ’Calking Machines and
Talking Machine Supplies. Write for catalogue.
Columbia Phonograph Co., “Dep’t 30,”
919 Pennsylvania Avenue,
Washington, ... D.
NEW YORK. PARIS. CHICAGO.
ST LOUIS. PHILADELPHIA. BALTIMORE
WASHINGTON. BUFFALO.
—Tlio- •
GfIIHESVILLE NURSERIES I
A full line of all the best old and
new varieties of Fruit Trees—Apple,
Peach, Pear, Plum, Grape Vines,
Raspberry and Strawberry Plants,
Roses and Ornamental Shrubbery
Every tree warranted true to name.
All trees sold by these Nurseries
are grown in Hall county, and are
t horoughly acclimated to this section.
No better trees nor finer varieties
can be found.
Don’t order till you get our prices.
Address,
GAINESVILLE NURSERIES.
Gainesville, Ga.
<ft° RG,A
sfa t2t*iF Agricultural
ILaU College
« Xfß Main Building.
IIBIw
DAHLONEGA, GA.
A college education in the reach of all. A.8.,
D.S., Normal and Business Man’s courses.
Wood laboratories; healthful, in vigorating cli
mate; military discipline; good moral and
religious influences. Cheapest board in the
State; abunda nee of country produce; extienses
from $75 to $l5O a year; board in dormitories
or private families. Special license course for
teachers; full faculty of nine; all under the
control of the University. A college prepar
atory class. Co-education of sexes. The insti
tution founded specially for students of limited
means. Send for catalogue to the President.
Jos. S. Stewart, A.M.
I felt so much better after taking two
bottles, that 1 continued the remedy,
and in two months 1 was cured com
pletely. The cure was permanent, for
f i have never since had a touch of
IU ‘iimatism* though many times*
exposed to damp and cold weather.
Eluanor M. Tippkli.,
3711 I’owelton Avenue, Philadelphia.
Tho-e who have had experience
with Rheumatism know that it
becomes more severe each year,
and like all other blood diseases,
the doctors are totally unable to
cure it. In fact,
the only remedies
which they pre
scribe are potash
and mercury, and
though temporary
relief may result,
* these remedies pro
\ duce a stiffness of
joints and only in-
f • p I
tensity the disease.
I S. S. S. never disappoints, for it
is made to cure these deep-rooted
diseases which are beyond the
reach of all other remedies. It
cures permanently Rheumatism,
’ Catarrh, Cancer,Scrofula,Eczema,
, and all other blood diseases. It
• is the only blood remedy guar
anteed
Purely Vegetable
‘ Books mailed free by Swift
. Specific Company, Atlanta, Ga.
Quakers and Their Hats.
There has been told in various
works the persecution to which, in
commonwealth times, George Fox,
the founder of the Society of Friends,
and his fellow Quakers were sub
jected because of their refusal to re
move their hats in presence of the
civil magistrate, but the blame for
this would seem to have lain upon
the local justices rather than the
central power. Cromwell perceived
that it was easier for stupid or zeal
ous magistrates to send Quakers to
prison for this refusal than to get
them out again, for Fox and his
Friends had almost to be implored
to leave the jails into which they
considered themselves to have been
unjustly thrust.
It was this continual persecution
of the Quakers, in the west of Eng
land particularly, that at length
moved the council to emphatically
interfere on their behalf. In No
vember, 1657, a remonstrance, sign
ed by five Friends, was presented to
the council, specially complaining of
the persecutions at Exeter, and Hen
ry Lawrence, the president of the
council, at once forwarded a letter
to the justices of the peace, not only
in Devon, but other counties, deal
ing with the matter.—Notes and
Queries.
Modest Women
Modesty in
women is no
less a charm
than beauty and J
wit. Is it any
wonder that wo
men afflicted
with physical
disorders peen
li;tr to their sex
.Un : ak .ci : ■ r
sonal exainina
tions by male WwWF
physicians ? The
weaknesses and irregularities of women
may be recognized by certain unfailing
symptoms. Backache, headache, bearing
down pains, irritability and extreme nerv
ousness indicate derangement of the
delicate female organism. Bradfield’s Fe
male Regulator is the standard remedy for
characteristic diseases of women.
Sold by druggists at sr.oo per bottle.
THE BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO., Atlanta, Ga
Spanish-American and Other Wars, &c.
Pensions for and arrears of pay claims of
UNITED STATES SOLDIERS,
Their widows, heirs, and dependent rela
tives, prosecuted by
L. VV. PIERCE,
Claim Agent.
Office: 12 Findley St.,
Gainesville. Ga.
b»E.. Wb?
|f You Do, Gome to Re.
THE war is over, and we have demonstrated
to the world that our country is the strong
est in the family of nations, that our citi
zens are the best men on earth, and that
American soil is worth more than that of any
other portion of the face of the globe.
I have on hand for sale a part of this glorious
country, consisting of Farms, Stores. City Resi
dences, Building Lots, Gold Mines, and, in
short, every kind of Real Estate that a man or
woman may desire for a happy home or a com
fortable living. On account of the stagnation
of business during ’96 and ’97, and as a result of
the war with Spain prices reached their lowest
notch. Prospects are now much brighter, bus
iness is looking up, and I believe now is a good
time to invest. I can still sell at lowest prices.
I have a large number of Building Lots that
1 am selling at low prices and on small pay
ments, putting it in the reach of all to buy. I
have been in this business a long time, many
of you have dealt with me, and I propose to
continue to act for the interests of both buyers
and sellers. I ask all who desire to buy, or
have property they want to sell, to call on me
or write to me. I will benefit you either way.
C. A. DOZIEK.
Real Estate and Insurance,
No. 1 State Bank Building,
GAINESVILLE, GA.
PILES Suppository
is guaranteed to cure PILES,
and CONSTIPATION (bleeding, itching, pr uruding,
inward), whether of recent or long standing, or money
refunded. It gives instant relief, and effects a radical
and permanent cure. No surgical operation required.
Try it and relief your sufferings. Send for list of testi
monials and free sample. Only 50 cts. a box. For sale
by druggists, or sent by mail on receipt of price.
MARTIN RUDY, Reg. Pharmacist, Lancaster, Pa.
For sale by E. E. Dixon & Co., Gainesville, Ga.
Call for free sample.
PN.C. White & Son,
HOTOGRfIPHEBS!
(■ainearille, <>n.
AU work executed in the highest style
of the art, at reasonable prices. Make
a specialty of copying and enlarging. Gallery
Northeast Side Sauare.
THE MOCKINQ BIRD.
He Xb Not Such a Great Mimic and la B
Natural Thief.
Very few persons ever visit the
southern portion of the United States
and become at all familiar with its
woodland life without being capti
vated by’ that prince of singers, the
mocking bird. Not only as a musi
cian, but in general “smartness,” he
is far and away ahead of anything
else that flies. He is the “Yankee”
among birds. In vivacity, in clever
ness, in a quick and dexterous use
of his small but brilliant brain, it
would be hard to point out his equal,
and when in the springtime the
woods resound with his clear, flute
like and extultant notes even the
man, if such there be, “who hath
no music in his soul” would find it
hard to resist the contagious good
humor of his glad and gleeful song.
And yet the mocking bird (Mimus
polyglottus) is incorrectly named.
He is by no means a natural mimic.
Half a dozen birds could be men
tioned that in this particular far sur
pass him. This may seem a very
strange thing to say, in view of the
stories current so abundantly illus
trating and emphasizing this sup
posed gift.
As to the morals of this little past
master of song, the truth must be
told, he has no respect for the eighth
commandment. He is a thief, a cun
ning, inveterate, unscrupulous “con
veyer” of other people’s property.
Peaches, grapes, strawberries, figs,
Japan persimmons, Surinam cher
ries, catley guavas, are to him le
gitimate plunder. With the excep
tion of oranges, bananas, pineapples
and ordinary guavas, which he nev
«r touches, nothing is safe from his
depredations. Scarecrows don’t even
amuse him when he has made up his
mind to sample fruit. He is a capi
tal judge, too, and always selects
the largest, ripest and most juicy
specimens for his repast. No eco
nomic considerations trouble him
either. He takes a bite here and a
nibble there and ruins 20 times as
much as he consumes. Bagging fruit
is no protection, for he only tears
the bags to pieces and helps himself.
Even vines and fig trees incased in
mosquito netting are notsecure; the
little marauder will get in somehow
and complacently take what he
wants.
Yet in spite of all this the bene
fits received by the south land from
this cunning little giver of sweet
sounds and lover of sweet fruits
vastly outweigh all the damage that
he does, however vexatious it may
be. Bugs and worms and creeping
things swarm here the year round.
The mocking bird is essentially in
sectivorous. His “steady diet” con
sists of the enemies that the horti
culturist and tho fruit grower have
most occasion to dread. He takes
his fruit by .way of dessert and has
fairly earned it like a good boy by
eating first a substantial dinner.—
Norman Robinson in Ajipletons’
Popular Science Monthly.
Women’s Complexions depend for beau
ty upon Digestion. Dr. M. A Simmons
Liver Medicine Regulates the Stomach,
Liver and Kidneys and secures the bles
sings of good Digestion.
xieex uuice.
To extract beef juice for invalids
cut a juicy piece of beef, an inch
and a half thick, from the tender
part of the round or rump, remov
ing all fat. Heat a pan and rub it
with enough fat to keep the meat
from sticking, lay in the meat, add
a little salt and cut into it as it heats.
Press out the juice with a knife,
turning the meat over and over,
without much cooking, then squeeze
in a lemon squeezer.—Housewife.
weep _ 7
Cotjliiid
rw.. —We know I
of nothing better to tear the I
lining of your throat and I
lungs. . It is better than wet B
feet to cause bronchitis and I
pneumonia. Only keep it I
up long enough and you a
will succeed in reducingyour I
1 weight, losing your appetite, |
bringing on a slow fever and I
making everything exactly K
right for the germs of con- ■
sumption. B
Stop coughing and you K
will get well. ■
Ager’s I
Gerry E
Pectoral f
cures coughs of every kind.
21 An ordinary cough disap-
Kg pears in a single night. The
W racking coughs of bronchitis
W are soon completely mas
re sered. And, if not too far
s along, the coughs of con
fl sumption are completely
I cured.
I Ask your druggist for one
I
1 Dr. Ayer’s I
I Cherry Pectoral I
I Plaster. I
I It will aid the action of the I
I Cherry Pectoral. fl
■ If yon h.'ivo any complaint what- ■
■ ever and desire the best medical M
B advice yon can possibly obtain, H
B write ns freely. Yon willreceive a M
■ prompt reply that may be of great
M value to yon. Address.
DR. J. C. AYER, Lowell, Mass. |H
fl* i I E ft AS Whiskey Habits
Sa ■ 3 ■ cured at home with
fl Hfl EIB BWS out pain. Book of par-
MS® «w* ■ I ticulars sent FREE.
WgTWrWillll IHIIIIJ B.M.WOOLLEY, M.D.
AUtuita. Va. Office 104 N. Pryor Sb
MONEY TO LOAN.
We now have plenty of money to loan
on improved farm lands aud Gainesville
city property. Terms and interest lib
eral. Call and see us.
DUNLAP & PICKRELL.
CATACLYSMAL INVENTIONS.
Their Effect Is Always Slowly Felt and
Distributed.
The moetcataclysmal of all inven
tions, that of gunpowder—which,
by the way, was probably invented
twice, for Greek fire must have been
the same thing used with an im
perfect knowledge of its propelling
power, and the one which most af
fected the organization of society
by destroying the value of armor
and equalizing the power of men
of different sizes—took a gener
ation to spread abroad, and when it
did spread hardly affected the rela
tive strength of the x nations. If
such an invention were discovered
now, the papers would ring with
prophecies, probably of a German
or British conquest of the world,
which would not happen a bit the
faster for all the “appreciations.”
Printing was a grand discovery,
and, though it did not help the Chi
nese much, did help Europeans a
great deal, but it did not help them
suddenly, and for the immense ma
jority of mankind it might just as
well never have occurred. Steam
is a grand discovery, but it Ijas not
upset the world, it has been utilized
only by degrees, and, like printing,
the mass of mankind knows very lit
tle about it, one-third of the hu
man race, indeed, denouncing it still
as something which “haazes and
maazes the blessed fealds.”
The discovery of the way to har
ness lightning, which excites the
imagination even of poets, is one of
the greatest man has made, but it
has upset nothing except newspaper
arrangements, and beyond enabling
nations to talk together as individ
uals do it has produced no conse
quences. It is, we suppose, possible
that somebody may discover away
of destroying a fleet from a balloon,
and thus deprive the richest nation
of its maritime advantages, but a
mode of counteracting that discov
ery would probably be found at the
same time, and the balance of mari
time power would remain unchang
ed. There never can be an elixir of
life because all men are sentenced
to capital punishment, but a prepa
ration which would destroy or neu
tralize all hostile bacteria, germs,
spores, or whatever they call the
injurious atoms, is, at all events,
conceivable, but it would be years
before it greatly influenced the per
manent health even of races bright
enough to believe in the physician’s
opinions. Remember the savage
opposition to vaccination in the
teeth of evidence really as strong as
that which demonstrates any arith
metical proposition.
From all that what deduction?
Simply this, that the readiness to
take alarm, which is ono mainspring
of modern credulity, is not justified
either by experience or theory and
that men should receive all an
nouncements of cataolysmal discov
ery or invention with a willingness
to inquire and a quiet conviction
that if false they do not matter and
if true they will affect things very
slowly and will develop counter
vailing and restraining influences?
According to science, a meteorite big
enough to shatter the world might
strike it and bring even labor trou
bles or -the German emperor’s
pertinents to an end, but the uni
verse is governed by powers before
which even science is very ignorant,
and, judging from all experience,
the meteorite will either be shatter
ed in time or just miss us in its
course through space. —• London
Spectator.
Tawdry.
Is your neighbor’s new frock
tawdry, madam? Do you look
with the eye of scorn upon its tinsel
passementerie and its cotton backed
velvet? But do you know why you
condemn it with the epithet “taw
dry?”
Well, back in the good old days
when country fairs and patron saints
were plenty there was one St. Au
drey, especially beloved of girls with
a taste for trinkets. She was a good
English saint, her name being a cor
ruption of St. Etbelrida. She was
reputed to have been rather fond of
finery herself. Indeed the qualities
which caused her canonization were
so interwoven with other pleasingly
frivolous ones that she died from a
swelling in the throat due to the
wearing of an overtight necklace.
So St. Audrey was the patron saint
of those who bad a youthful love of
finery, and St. Audrey’s day was
the day of the country fair dearest
to those who liked to buy gewgaws.
It followed naturally that the mer
chants finally sold baubles that glit
tered more than the pure gold in
them warranted, and by and by
whenever a trinket tarnished or a
silk cracked the gossips said, “That
was bought at St. Audrey’s fair.”
From St. Audrey to tawdry was not
such a long step.—New York Jour
nal.
A Clever Boy.
While reading Addison’s “Sir
Roger De Coverley” recently
subject of belief in ghosts arose in
the class. Naturally in this pro
gressive age all the scholars scorn
ed the idea. One boy was especially
vehement in his denunciation of
spooks.
“But,” persisted the teacher,
merely to develop his thinking pow
ers, “Shakespeare seems to have be
lieved in ghosts.” •
“That’s all right,” retorted the
boy. “I know more than Shakes
peare <jid!”—Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
Cigarettes Deadly to FHes.
It is said that flies confined in a
case with cigarettes will die in less
than five minutes, so deadly is the
atmosphere.
Perfect Health.
Keep the system in perfect or
der by the occasional use of
Tutt’s Liver Pills. They reg
ulate the bowels and produce
A Vigorous Body.
For sick headache, malaria, bil
iousness, constipation and kin
dred diseases, an absolute cure
TUTT’S Liver PILLS
THE ERIE CANAL.
The Part It Played In New York’s Ad
vancement In Wealth and Population.
Mr. Ernest Ingersoll writes an ar
ticle for St. Nicholas on the Greater
New York, his paper being entitled
“Reasoning Out a Metropolis.” Mr.
Ingersoll says: T' ;; Attest of all
the influences il ..listed New
York to reach 11;.- . place was the
Erie canal.
The first quarter of this century
was the era of canal building. No
matter how fine the turnpikes may
be, horses can haul in wagons only
high priced merchandise in com-
small quantities and for
short distances, unless the cargo is
to cost for transportation more than
it is worth. Men found out in Eu
rope and Asia long ago that for
moving grain, coal, timber, ore and
similar bulky or heavy goods, where
speed was not especially important,
a ship or boat was the only practi
cable method. If a river were not
convenient, then an artificial water
way, called a canal—that is, chan
nel—must be made. When in any
country something of this kind can
not be done, that country must re
main undeveloped and thinly popu
lated, like the Sahara.
Why is a canal so much better
than a good road .for commercial
purposes? Because, while two horses
and one man can haul on a hard,
level road perhaps two tons, the
same driver with two horses har
nessed to a canalboat can move 20
tons nearly as quickly—that is, the
same force and expense for pay and
food of men and horses accomplish
ten times as much in result, which
really makes the goods ten times
cheaper at the end of the route.
Hence before the invention of rail
roads it was necessary in any grow
ing country *te dig canals to serve as
the highways of commerce, and this
the young United States hastened to
do. New 7 York, as usual, moved
along the foremost. She planned and
constructed, besides some lesser
ones, that great waterway, 400 miles
long, from Albany to Buffalo, which
was called the Erie canal and con
nected the Hudson with the great
lakes.
This canal was finished in 1825,
and immensely stimulated the
growth not only of the western part
of New York state, but of the whole
region of the great lakes; for now
farmers in the northwest could send
their grain and fruit and cattle, and
the miners their ore, and the lum
bermen their ship timber, and boards
and staves, to the seaboard at profit
able rates, and in return they could
obtain the imports, merchandise,and
manufactures of seacoast cities at a
fair cost. A fleet of vessels on the
lakes came and went, bringing from
farm, mine and forest cargoes which
were loaded into the canalboats and
sent east, often to be transferred to
vessels for foreign ports without
ever touching land at all. And back
went supplies for the interior of
New York state and for settlers in
Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois
and beyond, could never have
lived and worked in those distant
parts except for this means of cheap
communication. To them also every
summer went thousands of new set
tlers from New England and old
England and all Europe, who needed
no longer to spend weeks and weeks
in traveling in wagons before reach
ing their new homes.
CASTING OFF A LINE.
Mr. Glimby Meets With a Little Expe
rience on a New York Wharf.
“I’m afraid there’s one towboat
captain who would not give me a
job if I should apply,” said Mr.
Blimby, “and that is the man whose
line I cast off in South street the
other day. The tug was4ying along
the end of the wharf, hanging by a
single line, with the loop around the
head of a spile, and the other end
made fast around the forward bitts
aboard the boat. The captain was
in the pilothouse, and he called to
the deckhand that he guessed they
would go up to pier 919. I was
standing on the end of the wharf,
and when the deckhand began cast
ing the line off from the bitts I
started for the spile to cast it off
there.
“I like boats, and I’ve loafed
along South street a good deal, and
I’ve seen a million men cast off
lines, but it's a funny thing I had
never cast off one myself, but I was
going to now. All the men I ever
saw cast off a line just took hold of
it and lifted it right off, easy. I
took hold of this one with perfect
confidence, but the first thing I
knew it sagged down and stuck on
the other side of the spile, and it
did the same thing again when-1
tried, which I did somewhat hastily
from another point. It didn’t come
off easily at all, and finally I had to
take hold of it with both hands and
lift it up carefully clear of the spile,
while the captain, looking out of
the pilothouse window, and the
deckhand, standing by the bitts and
looking up at me from the deck,
smiled good humoredly at my clum
siness. By that time I had discov
ered that in casting off a line, as in
most other things, a man must learn
how to do it before he can do the
work well. But the worst was yet
to come.
“I had always observed that when
a man cast off a line he hung on to
it for a moment and walked along
the wharf till he was somewhere
near abreast of the man who was
taking it in aboard and then gave it
a little toss, so as to keep it out of
the water, keeping it dry to make it
last longer and make it easier and
pleasanter to.handle. When I had
finally got this line off, I held on to
it and walked with it toward the
boat to toss the loop aboard, but I
noticed that the man on deck took
up the slack very promptly and ful-
Jy as I came along. He didn't give
"me credit for knowing anything
about keeping the line out of the
water. He was prepared to see me
just simply drop it when I struck
the stringpiece, and he was taking
up the slack short so that he could
keep it out of the water himself
when I let go.
‘‘And so they sailed away, per
fectly good natured about it, but
very evidently taking me for a
landlubber just down from the
hillfi.”—New York Sun.
DENSE BRITISH SKULLS.
Is Slowness to See a Joke a Growing
Characteristic of Englishmen?
Stories about the dull wit of the
English are told wherever men come
together,and ?ne in particular, prob
ably the prototype of the rest, is
pretty surely rendered in more or
less mangled form as often as the
subject of slow wit is introduced.
This is an old tale of two pedestri
ans, an Englishman and an Ameri
can, who saw a sign in the middle of
the road which read: “To Somerset
shire, ten miles; to Gloucester, five
miles. Those who can't read may
obtain proper directions at the
blacksmith’s, two rods up the road.”
The American, so goes the story,
stopped short in the middle of the
road and laughed heartily.
“What are you loffing at?” asked
the Briton.
“Think awhile. Maybe you'll see
the point,” answered his friend.
“Oh, I see!” exclaimed John Bull
an hour later. “Suppose the black
smith shouldn't be at home.”
While at first, perhaps, this story
was not so bad, now its only good
office is that it invariably suggests
some others. At the Broken Shutter
the other night it brought forth
about six.
“I'm glad you told the story,”
said the policeman to the assistant
telegraph man. “It’s like meeting
an old friend or talking with your
family doctor. Now, I know a story
that’s much like that, only it’s bet
ter, as the man said when he com
pared a photograph with an oil
painting.
“You see, two of us took our vaca
tion in July and thought we’d like
to take a look into Canada and see
how the queen’s subjects look and
act. Well, we took a steamer from
the city of logarithms and glossa
ries up to St. John’s, and of course
we stopped over on the way at one
little coast town. The captain said
it was to let us see the place, but
Billy and I took notice that he took
on a cartload or two of fresh vege
tables, but we two and an English
man went ashore, and of course we
wanted something to eat.
“We found a little restaurant up
the line a ways, where they had a
dinged pretty waitress - none of
your faded, painted brand, but a
real pretty, pert girl from out of the
Maine woods, or somewhere ‘-else
where they grow nice girls. Things
went right nicely until we came to
the dessert, when I asked our pretty
girl what she had to top off with.
“ ‘Lemonpiepeachpieandapplepie, ’
she says.
“ ‘Ohl’ says Billy hero. ‘Well, I’ll
take some lemon pie and some peach
pie.’
“ ‘Umphl’ says the little girl, with
a tilt of her pretty nose. ‘What’S
the matter with the apple pie?’
“All this while Mr. Englishman
was sitting there and listening. Wc
didn't care a rap and didn’t think
anything more of him, but when we
got back to the old tug that was tak
ing us over the pond, why, English
comes up to me and touches me on
the shoulder and asks, ‘I beg your
pardon, sir, but would you mind
telling me what was the matter
with that apple pie?’ ”—Washing
ton Post.
A Nansen Poem.
This snowless ice plain is like a
life without love—nothing to soften
it. The marks of all the battles and
pressures of the ice stand forth just
as when they were made, rugged
and difficult to move among. Love
is life’s snow. It falls deepest and
softest into the gashes left by the
fight, whiter and purer than snow
itself. What is life without love?
It is like this ice—a cold, bare, rug
ged mass, the wind driving it and
rending it and then forcing it to
gether again, nothing to cover the
open rises, nothing to break the vio
lence of the collisions, nothing to
round away the sharp corners of
the broken floes—nothing, nothing
but bare, rugged drift ice.—Nansen
in “Farthest North.”
How Due Reads.
The average person believes that
in reading a newspaper paragraph
he reads the whole of each type’s
impression, while, in fact, he only
notices the upper half of each letter.
Cover the upper half of a line with
a sheet of paper, being careful to
hold the paper exactly in the middle
of the letters, and you will not,
without difficulty, decipher a word.
Then place the paper over the lower
half of the line. It can be read
without the slightest trouble.—Phil
adelphia Press.
Uses of the Tunnel.
Miss Easte End—'l hey tell me you
naughty Chicago men always take
advantage of the tunnel when you
ride through it.
Mr. Bluster—Yes; 1 generally do.
Miss Easte End—And do you real
ly kiss girls you don’t know?
Mr. Bluster—Kiss girls? I don’t
kiss any girls. I pass plugged quar
ters on the conductor.—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Os the 119,900,000 old copper cents
which were sent out from the mint
only the 900,000 have ever been ac
counted for, and only now and then
is a stray one of the remaining 119,-
000,000 seen in circulation.
Common salt that is used daily in
our food is needed in the body. It
aids digestion and the assimilation
of the food and helps in the compo
sition of many of the tissues.
. Baltimore ana Latajette.
“It is a fact not generally known,”
says the Baltimore Sun, “that when
Lafayette was camping in the city
with his troops during the war of
the Revolution his own tent was
pitched where the cathedral now
stands Lafayette recognized the
place and mentioned the fact refer
red to when he visited Baltimore in
October, 1824, and was the guest of
the city for several days He spent
a Sunday in Baltimore on that occa
sion and attended services at the
cathedral in the forenoon, after
which, as is stated in The Federal
Gazette of Oct 11, 1824, he proceed
ed to Belvedere, the seat of his old
companion in arms. Colonel John
Eager Howard, and partook of a col
lation. ” •
A (errible Accident.
A FRIGHTENED TEAM OF HORSES
RUNS_AWAY.
Dashes into a Preceding Conveyance in the Road
and a Young-Lady is Seriously Injured.
From the Crestline, O.
Probably there is not a single incident rc
j maining mure vivid in the minds of the poo-!
| ph in this locality, than the accident which
iiefvll Miss Fannie Thonian, a young lady
nearly twenty years old, residing about three
miles wi>st of this city, while out riding one
day in May, IStM. In conversation with a i
friend recently, Miss Thonian told the story
concerning this horrible affair ami the result's
from it.
She said ; “ I was working in a dressmak- i
ing establishment in Galion, Ohio, and one
day while out riding with my friends, we
were overtaken by a team of runaway horse-. i
and the carriage in which I was riding w;;s ,
badly wrecked and 1 was thrown out. receiv
ing a hard tali.
“ 1 was taken to my home, ami a physiei-'n ’
was called ami upon examination told me
the: my right, kidney had been affected. He
tiave me medicines which relieved me some,
but winch never helped me as they should.
“ I was weak and whenever I attempted ;
to do light work about the house, I would
become prostrated. I was very dizzy and j
frequently pains would dnrt through my!
btt"k in an indescribable manner. In fact, I
my whole constitution was affected. I had
i very sallow complexion with seemingly no
color in my face at all.
I remained in that condition for over two
years and ti-'tiling seemed to relieve me. 1 j
happened t■ > read in a paper how some peo
pie had b- <-n cured by the use of Dr. Wil
liams’ Pink Pills tor Pale People. One case
tlescribed - v. similar to mine, and 1 called
HOW TO WRITE A PLAY.
David lieiasco Talks Instructively of tllb
Art of the Dramatist.
“What constitutes a financially
and popularly successful play?” was
a question asked of David Belasco,
and be replied: “First of all, it must
be congenial to the sympathies of
the.human mind, especially as re
gards the master passion—love; sec
ondly, it must have strong and novel ,
situations, brought about in natural
and simple ways; thirdly, the plot
should not require deep or difficult
analysis, by which the audience may
be wearied and puzzled with think-
I ing, thereby losing the thread of
the story; fourthly, the language
of the characters should be plain,
direct ,and easy to understand, and
■ incidents, whether comic or
tragic, should drop in as nearly as
possible as they might happen in
real life. A perfect play is condensed
reality.”
“How do you write your plays—
do you dictate them or use a pen?”
“Those parts of my plays,” re
sponded Mr. Belasco, “which re
quire study, such as reference to
science, music or art, I write my
| self. But when I get to the more
human side—when the villain and
the heroine and the hero, and per
haps the scubrette, are hard at work
making dramatic history, then I
prefer to dictate. My thoughts travel
fast then. I become the character I
am creating, I act the part from be
ginning to end, I feel every emo
tion, 1 swear, I curse, I cry and
laugh by turns, and all this time
I am dictating as fast as the ste
nographer can take my words. Os
course 1 have my spells of work,
when I can do more work in three
days than I can manage at another
time in a month ” ».
Then I made him sit bolt upright
by firing the following question at
him: “Who in your opinion is the
best American dramatic writer of
serious parts?” After a few mo
ments’thought he regained his oom- I
posure and replied: “You have asked
me a question which would be ex- ’
tremely difficult to answer without
hurting somebody’s feelings. The
accepted leaders of the American
drama are all men of education and
talent, or they could not be accepted
as leaders. They write as experts,
not as apprentices, and each has his
own peculiar manner of treatment.
You cannot make comparison among
Bronson Howard, William Gillette,
Augustus Thomas, Paul Potter, :
Franklin Fyles and various others,
including our women playwrights.
Writing a play is far more difficult
than any one imagines, and the
playwright has to master his trade,
just as does the shoemaker and the
carpenter.”
“Wherein do American play
wrights differ from English, French ■
and German authors?”
“They differ little from their Brit
ish brethren save in being untram
meled by dramatic censorship. The
public is their consor, and a suffi
ciently severe one. The fact that
American plays are transferred un
altered to the London stage and are
there received as to the manner
born proves their family likeness.
The Germans differ from the Amer
icans by looking less to the events
■ than to the theories, to action than
to disquisition, to reality than to
idealism; also in treating of polit- i
ical and social questions in a didac- ,
‘ tic style which the American more
patient brain would not endure. The '
American playwright differs from '
the French in the looseness of con
struction—restriction in dialogue,
: especially in the length and diffu
siveness of speeches and in the reti
' cence due to the distaste of the pub
lic for suggestive allusions foreign
to the temper of the American peo- ■
pie, which the Puritan element still
continues to influence. In my opin- i
ion dramatic writing has gained in
; simplicity and directness, but lost
!in purely literary quality. When
people want to enjoy fine writing,
they seek it nowadays in books, not
plays.”
“What is tho best ingredient of a
good play?”
“Os the hundred ingredients that
. go to make up a perfect play 99 are
love. Stage pictures make the hun
dredth.”—New York Telegraph.
Sometimes the Process Is Expensive.
Nubbins —Here is a line of poetry
I that says, ’Every wife is worth her i
weight in gold.” If that were really
i so, a man could double his wealth in
i a hurry.
Bliffers—How so?
Nubbins—Why, marry a thin wo
man and fatten her up.—New York
' World.
the attention of the other members of the
family, anil mamma suggested 1 should have
a box at once.
“Os course I was anxious to get well and
a box of these pills was secured and tried.
When I had taken the pills one week I
! noticed an improvement in my condition.
A better color came in my face and lips, I
became stronger, had an increased appetite
and the dizziness in my head was relieved.
“ 1 bad often read of these pills but gave
no attention to them until the day I procured
my first box. Since then I have taken twelve
boxes and have been greatly relieved. My
, blood is in a better condition. I have gained
in flesh and my entire system has been built
up. 1 most certainly recommend Dr. Wil
liams’ Pink Pills for Pale People to any one
troubled with kidney complaint.”
All the elements necessary to give new life
and richness to the blood and restore shattered
nerves are contained, in a condensed form, in
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People.
I They are an unfailing specific for such diseases
i as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus*
I dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nerv
ous headache. the ail er effects of la grippe,
palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow com
plexions, all forms of weakness either in male
j or female, and till diseases resulting from viti
ated humors in the blood. Dr. Williams’Pink
! Pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent
post paid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box,
i or six boxes for $2.50 —(they are never sold in
i bulk or by the 100) by addressing Dr.Williams’
I Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y.
Hutchins Would Do.
Now, that Judge Hutchins is once
, more a private citizin, his many
friends throughout the 9 h Congress
ional district would be glad to see
him elavated to a seat in Congress.
His long service on the bench has
familiariz d him with the needs of
the people, and his experience as a
public officer would add to his < ffi
j cienc.y as a congressman. No doubt
the. Judge W’ould draw tu hints if a
strong support should he consent to
the use of his name as a candidate.
However, there is time enough to
consider that, as the ruccess< r of
Congressman Tate will nt be named
until November, 1900.—Lawrence
ville News.
If Gloomy and Nerv. us, and locking
on the dark side of things, take a few
doses of Dr. M. A Simmons Liver Med
icine, and the gloom will disapper.
Settling the Silver Question.
It looks now as if the silver ques
tion would soon settle itself. The
output of gold is increasing so much
faster than that of silver that the
bullion value of the two metals, if the
output of gold continues to increase
faster than that of silver, will draw
closer tog i her and the ratio of 1G to
one will finally be reached.
The gold production for this year
will be as much as $283,192,800.
That is about $40,000,000 more than
it was last year, and more than SBO,-
000,000 more than it was in 1890.
The production this year is $150,-
000,000 greater than it was seven
years ago, and is greater than the
cmibined gold and silver production
of ten years ago. This remarkable
increase in the gold production jus
tifies the prediction that there will
be a rise in prices such as there was
soon after the discovery of gold in
California, and a period of great pros
: perity.
-
A few doses of Dr. M. A. Simmons
' Liver Medicine will do mgre for a Weak
I Stomach than a prolonged course of any
I other medicine.
Speaker Reed is credited with the
folio a ing characteris ic remark: “For
many years I have been doing my
best to stop the flood of bills of this
kind—these raids on the treasury
which would exhaust the public
money. I felt it my duty to stand
between the desire of members and
the treasury. Now, I don’t know
but I was wrong and should have
allowed these bills to go through.
The money which Las been saved, I
-ee, is to be paid out buying Malays
at $2 a head.”
If Irritable, Out of Sorts, Depressed in
Spirits, have a dull Headache, take a few
doses Dr. M. A. Simmous Liver Mepicine
for a quick relief.
An eastern editor says that a man
in New York got himself into troub
le by marrying two wiyes. A west
ern editor replied that a good mmy
had done the same thing by marry
ing one. A northern says that q lite
I a number of his acquaintances found
trouble in barely promising to ma p ry
and not going any further. A south
ern editor says he was bith irei
■ enough when he was simply in com
pany with another man’s wife.
Morning Sickness, or Nausea from
Pregnancy, is dispelled by Simmons
Squaw Vine Wine or Tablets.
There were 127 lynchings in
Unili •! States territory during the
last yt ar, according to statistics com
piled by the Chicago Tribune—lo 2
negroes, 27 whites, aud 2 indiaus.
Os the : umber 118 are credited to
-outhern states while nine occurred
in the north.
j One Dose j
5 Tells the story. When your head x
J aches, and you feel bilious, consti- J
F pated, and out of tune, with your F
• stomach sour and no appetite, just 0
0 buy a package of £
? Hood's Pills |
1 And take a dose, from 1 to 4 pills. 5
5 You will be surprised at how easily J
Fthey will do their work, cure your F
0 headache and biliousness, rouse the «
2 liver and make you feel happy again.
525 cents. Sold by al! medicine dealers.