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the Eagle X’liblisliing’ Company. VOLUME XL. 1899. B. E. ANDQE & CO. START THE New Year BY GETTING IN NEW GOODS. This week we are opening up a large shipment of SHOES. To all our customers we wish to say that this year our stock of Clothing, Hats, Shoes, and Fine Dry Goods will be the largest we have ever shown. R. E. ANDOE & CO.. 14 M.ain St. Telephone 9. Waterman, Barnett & Co., I C EXCLUSIVE Him, Tailors, GENTS’ FURNISHINGS and SHOES, GAINESVILLE, G-A.. -—'The Time to Flow. The season for sowing grain is now here, and it is to your interest to have beat implements. We hare a large stock of \ ll* Arv,gi a 1 2xjjr •v. '•J| r ‘./r a ■ 'W V- ■-- CUTAWAY Torrent Harrows. 1,2, and 3 Horse Plows: AVERY’S STEEL, SYRACUSE, SOUTHERN AGRICULTURAL WORKS, OLIVER PATENT. f iT) O/\T)L The largest lot ever brought to Gaines- IW/OILO* ville, from the cheapest to the finest. b ’S stock. All styles—all prices.— G3”o£l vz A vX AJ Al O* Breech and muzzle loaders. A new era in prices. Everything cheaper than ever before. Come and see us. S.C. DINKINS & CO THE GAINESVILLE EAGLE. COLOR and flavor of fruits, size, quality and ap pearance of vegetables, weight and plumpness of grain, are all produced by Potash. Potash, properly combined with Phos phoric Acid and Nitrogen, and liberally applied, will improve every soil and increase yield and quality of any crop. Write and get Free our pamphlets, which tell how to buy and use fertilizers with greatest economy and profit. GERHAN KALI WORKS, 93 Nassau St., New York. BAD - BLOOD “CASCAKETS do all claimed for them and are a truly wonderful medicine. 1 have often wished for a medicine pleasant to take and at last have found it in Cascarets. Since taking them my blood has been purilled and my complexion has Im proved wonderfully ami 1 feel much bettor in every way.' Mus. Sat.l.lE E. Sei.laks. Luttrell. Tenn. CANDY K CATHARTIC TRADE MARtt RS3ISVBWEO Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Good, Never Sicken. Weaken. or Gripe. 10c. 25c. 50c. ... CURE CONSTIPATION. ... Sterling Remedy Company. Clilemro. Montreal. New York. 31# HD.TA.RAP Sold and guaranteed by all drug- NU I U DHU gists to C'VISE Tobacco Habit. “T.TrN 5 HAiii BALSAM I Cleanses and beautifies the hair. Promotes a luxuriant growth. ‘ Never Fails to Bestore Gray: Hair to its Youthful Colcr. Cures scalp diseases &■ hair falling. . 50c, and jl .CO at Druggists t Try ALi>s foot-ease’ A powder to be shaken into the shoes. At this season your feet feel swollen, nervous and damp. If you have smarting feet or tight shoes, try Allen's Foot-Ease. It warms the feet and makes walking easy. Cures swollen and sweat ing feet, blisters and callous spots. Relieves corns and bunions of all pain and is a certain cure for Chilblains and Frost bites. Try it to day. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial package FREE. Address, Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES Allen’s Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet. It cures painful, swollen, smarting, nervous feet and Instantly takes the sting out of corns and bunions. It’s the greatest comfort discovery of the age. Alien’s Foot-Ease makes tight or new shoes feel easy. It is a certain cure fcr Chilblains, sweating, callous, tired, aching feet. Try it to-day. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Trial package FREE. Address, Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. Chlclseßter’a English Piciuon 1 Lec.-i. FENNYROYAL HLLS w Original Bild Only Ger.xi'ne. Z SSAFE » always reliable, la&jes ask & Druggist for RnaHsh Brand in Red and Gold metaEicxy?#/ —wTwifV^boxes, sealed with blue ribbon. Take \W Tn ’h’S no other* Ref u&e dangerous substitu* v I / ** and imitations. At Druggists, or senfi4c. I in stamps for particulars, testimonials ar; I \ T* “Relief for Ludiem” in letter, by return —X Me.iL 10.000 Testimonials. Name Paper. ~ Ohich ester Chemical Uo..hladUon Square* ’old bj ail Local Druggists. Phlladu.. Fa. It rests with you whether you continue nerve-killing tobai-cu hn.b/t. ?<O-TC-li 4CL/ja removes the desire for tobacco, out nervous distress. expels g cine, purities the blood, g 1- stores lost manhood. AS w S boxes makes you V » g J in health, nerveless as kJ 3 4 cured. Buy and TO-BAC from b00k.4 B own druggist, who j£ a 3 CtMy«* r will vouch for us. Take it with Bl will,patiently, persistently. One box, sl, usually cures; 3 boxes, 52.50, guaranteed to cure, or we refund money. Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago, Montreal, New York. New WOOD Yard C. L. DEAL Has established a first-class Wood Yard at his residence, INo. I<s Grove St., where he will keep a large supply of Stove and Fire Wood cut to any length desired. Wood delivered on short notice. L The most fascinating inven. > tion of the age. Always ready to entertain. It requires nq to operate it and repro duce the music of bands, or chestms, vocalists or instru mental soloists. There is nothing like it for an even ing's entertainment at home or in thesocial gath ering. You can sing or taik to it and it will reproduce immediately and as often as desired, your song or words Other so-called talking machines reproduce only records of cut and dried subjects, specially prepared in a laboratory; but the Graphophone is not limited to such performances. On the Grapho phone you can easily make and instantly reproduce records of the voire, or any sound. Thus it con stantly awakens new interest and its charm is ever fresh.’ The reproductions are clear and brilliant. GrapWWs are sold forJlOis? Manufactured under the patents of Bell, Tainter Edison and Macdonald. Our establishment is head quarters of the world for Talking Machines ana Talking Machine Supplies. Write for catalogue. Columbia Phonograph Co., “Dep’t 30," 919 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, ... - D. C. NEW YORK. PARIS. CHICAGO. SJ, LOUIS. PHILADELPHIA. BALTIMORE WASHINGTON. BUFFALO. JOHN MARTIN, NACOOCHEE, GA. REAL ESTATE. Mines and Alining Lands, Farms and Farming Lands,. Timber and Wild Lands SOLID INVESTMENTS AT TEMPTING PRICES. CorrzHpondencu Invited. Established in GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 1899. HER NAME ATTHE TOP ”U. S. s. BROOKLYN” WENT ABOVE “H. M. a SPHINX.” A Heroic Feat at Muscat by Some of Unele Sam’s Old Time Jack Tars That Thrilled the Hearts of a Whole Ship’s Crew. There was once another Brooklyn, the forerunner of the present armored cruiser, but the old Brooklyn, which, daring the civil war, gained the name of the "Butcher Shop had no resem blance to the floating fortress that hurled destruction into the fleet of Ad miral Cervera. The old ship bore a great spread of canvas and had bat auxiliary steam power. Her lofty masts and creaking yards would seem singularly out of place today, but they served their pur pose in their own time. Her open deck, with double row of muzzle loading, smoothbore guns, looked like a scene from a mediaeval drama, and when she a went to sea the flapping of the -sails and the snap of the cordage were not an unwelcome lullaby to those who slept beneath her cool white decks. This old Brooklyn sailed one day from New York, bound upon a roving cruise and came in time to the Azores islands, whence she sailed for Lisbon and Gibraltar and, passing through the Mediterranean and the Suez canal, steamed slowly down the scorching Red sea. A stop at Aden for a day or two made her ready for a journey to the Persian gulf, but when the gulf of Ormaz was reached the skipper thought to take a look at Muscat, and so the course was shaped for the capital of the son of Abraham, whose forefatiter&lor hundreds, nay, thousands, of years, had been sheiks of the desert. In all her journey the good ship had entered not a port where the proud cross of St. George could not be seen from the staff of a British man-of-war, but here at Muscat it was thought that at least our flag would be the only token of western civilization in evidence. But it was not so, for, as the Brooklyn rounded a high promontory that shut in the little harbor, there, lying at an chor, was seen the English gunboat Sphinx with her milk white flag float ing above her. Muscat had much that was strange and weird to interest the Americans, but neither the palace of the sultan, with its double wall, between the two parts of which are kept the tigers whose duty it is to guard the palace at night, nor the imperial harem's grim exterior, nor the gorgeous apparel of the sultan himself had half the attraction for the westerners that the grim, sheet face of the promontory that shuts in the harbor had; for there upon the bleak wall of this towering height were painted the names of many ships, and high above them all, in a place that seemed inaccessible, were the words, "H. M. S. Sphinx.” The men of the Brooklyn stared at that name day after day, until it seemed burned into their brains, and the spirit of emulation grew within them. The night before the Brooklyn was to sail for Persian waters there were evidences of a secret; movement among the crew, and after the night had fallen still and black a boat pulled off from the vessel’s side, and with muffled oars made rapidly for the shore. It carried many things of various sorts, and among them a lantern, whose tiny glimmer those on the ships watched with bated breath as it reached the shore and slow ly began the ascent of the promontory. Now it would disappear and then glit ter again like a star of hope and com fort, and so it went slowly on, ever up and up the face of the outlined precipice. The hours dragged slowly by, and it was far inti- the night when a tired boat's crew clambered slowly over the Brooklyn’s side and dropped exhausted into their hammocks for a short sleep before the call of “all hands” in the morning. The Brooklyn sailed away just as the sun began to show above the eastern horizon, and as she swung upon her course and stood for the waters of the open gulf a cheer burst from the throats of the whole Ehip’s company. For there, in great letters of white that caught the warmth of the rising sun, far above the name of her majesty’s ship Sphinx, far above the highest name of all, could be seen the legend "U. S. S. Brooklyn.” And there today, looking down upon the tiger guarded palace and the harem of the sultan, ever before the Arabs and the Boloochistanese of the tiny sultan ate, still gleams the magic name that Schley and Cook once again made fa mous and that shall endure in history when Muscat itself shall be forgotten. —Washington Post. Some Samples of Spelling. A Jersey City druggist is making a collection of the queer orders he receives from people who send chil dren to the store for things they need. Here are a few samples of them: "This child is my little girt I sent you five cents to buy two sit less powders for a groan up adult who is sike. ” Another reads: “Dear Dochter. pies gif barer five sense worse of Auntie Toxyn for to gargle babi’s throte and obleage.” An anxious mother writes: "You will pleas give the lettle boi five cents worth of epicac for to throw up in a five months old babe. N. B.—The babe has a sore stum mick.” This one puzzled the druggist: “I have a cute pane in my child’s diagram. Please give my son some thing to release it. ” Another anxious mother wrote: “My little babey has eat up its father’s parish plasther. Send an antedote quick as possible by the enclosed little girl.” The writer of this one was evi dently in pain: “I has a hot time in my insides and wich I wood like to be extin guished. What is good for to ex tinguish it? The enclosed quarter is for the price of the extinguisher. Hurry pleas. "—New York Sup. To the Public. We are authorized to guarantee every bottle of Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy and if not satisfactory to refund the mon ey to the purchaser. There is no better medicine made for lagrippe, colds and whooping cough. Price, 25 and 50c per bottle. Try it. For sale by M. C. Brown A Co. LOTTERIES AND LUCK TRICKS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAYED BY FICKLE FORTUNE. Some liiHtances That Aptly Illustrate »;.• Truth of the Old Adage That Cup and the Lip. <here are few things with which ro ruffice is more closely connected than the distribution of lottery prizes, and There can be no doubt that we Britons are all the better off because of the ille gality of holding lotteries in the United Kingdom. A big lottery must disap point hundreds of thousands while it enriches one winner, who often finds that his hastily acquired wealth results in doing him more harm than good. A short time ago the first prize in one of the Italian state lotteries, which alhtffinted to some £B,OOO, fell to a peasant who, with his wife, had actually died of starvation within a few hours of of the prize. Owing to a dream in which a peasant had the presentiment that a certain □umber would be on the ticket which would win the splendid prize, he scraped all his money together and pur chased not the ticket he wanted, be cause it was already sold, but one which bore the same numerals, differently ar ranged. Then he and his wife fell on desperately hard times, which eventual ly closed upon them in death from sheer starvation, for he had tried and failed his lottery, chance, which was the last thing left to him. When the drawing came on, he won thaffirst prize of £B,OOO, but as he was dead and no next of kin could be discov ered the prize was raffled for again, whefl it fell to swell the purse of an Italian banker who already was pos of vast wealth. A German lady living in Brunswick hada fancy that a certain ticket would Win a prize in a lottery in which the first prize was £15,000. It may seem Strange, but it is vouched for as being peffectly true, that she so altered her opinion as to the chances of her ticket winning a prize that she bartered it away for a new hat from her milliner within a few days of having purchased it. This was a melancholy exception to the rule that "second thoughts are al ways best.” The ticket which she had exchanged for a hat, possibly worth a couple of guineas, succeeded in captur ing the first prize of £15,000, and the milliner, who considered he had run his'.risks, absolutely refused to palliate his customer’s bitter disappointment by anything beyond the payment of a few pounds, which were dragged from him by hollow threats of legal action. On one occasion the first prize in an Italian lottery, amounting to nearly £5,000, fell to a man who had died three days before the raffle, the second prize of £2,000 fell to a lady who had sold her lucky ticket at the eleventh hour, and the third prize of £I,OOO to a private soldier who, on hearing of his govii fortune, drank himself mad and then committed suicide. For want of claimants who could establish their claims satisfactorily, the first and third prizes were again raffled for, and this time they both fell to the same person —the owner of one of the ‘srgest pri vate estates in Austria, who was quite indifferent about the addition to his al ready huge fortune. Silly superstitions play an important part in the buying and selling of lottery tickets, and it is no uncommon thing for a person who fancies a certain num ber to buy it at a price equal to hun dreds of times its original cost, and many Os those who indulge in this kind of speculation with the fixed idea of gain generally discover that it is an expensive game. A German banker conceived the idea that the first prize in a certain lottery would fall to the holder of a ticket on which the figure three stood either alone or with others. So greatly impressed was he with this belief that he bought up every ticket that bore the numeral , three, a little deal which cost him some i thousands of pounds, because many of the tickets he fancied were held by per sons to whom he had to pay fancy prices. One of these persons when approach ed on the matter refused to sell his , ticket unless the banker purchased a complete bundle of 20, of which he was anxious to get rid. The banker did not wish to do this, as there was only one ticket bearing a three in the bundle, but he ultimately consented, took the ticket be wanted and gave the vender back all the others. Great must have been his annoyance on discovering later that the first prize had not fallen to him, but had been won by one of the tickets he had bought and scorned.— London Tit-Bits. Nobody’# Mother. i There is a story told on one of the circuits, which may or may not have seen the light of print already, of how i not long ago a very young barrister rose to examine cue of his witnesses with an unaccountably hazy notion of her iden tity. "I think that you are the prison er’s mother?” he began. "Certainly not, sir, ” was the unex pected answer. Turning hurriedly to his brief, he , thought he had found the reason for her , evident annoyance. “Ah, yes,” he con tinued, "I see, you are the prosecutrix’s mother?” “Certainly not, ” came her reply, still more emphatically. 1 "Then whose mother are you?” he demanded, almost in despair, and she fairly boiled over with indignation as she retorted: "Nobody’s, sir. I am a single woman.”—St. James Gazette. Farreachtng. Nelly—l don’t see bow getting one’s feet wet causes toothache. Jack—You don’t? If yen had ever had a tooth pulled, you would know that the roots run clear to your toes.— i Tacoma Ledger. London Landlords. There is perhaps no tenant who is eo completely at the mercy of his landlord i as the occupier of a house in London which belongs to one of the great ground landlords. He is an absolute prisoner within the four corners of his lease. The slightest deviation is accom panied with pains and penalties, but, on the other band, the landlord reserves all kinds of privileges to himself. Very little furniture is used in the bedrooms of Turkish houses. Rarely is . a chair seen in any of them. A few . mats adorn the room, and the bed is stretched on the floor. The English language contains 41 dis tinct sounds. A MISTAKE IN THE BIRD MARKET. ▲ Persian in the market place Longed for and so took home a wren. Yes, his was but a common case; Such always are the ways of men Once his, the brown bird please him not; Almost he wished it would take win* He loosed the cage door and forgot The dark, unsinging, lonely thing Night came and touched with wind and dew (Alone there in the dim moonshine) A rose that at the window grew— And. oh. that sudden song divine His children started from their sleep, Their orient eyes with rapture lit. Their pale young mother hid to weep- Their father did not care a whit. He only heard the impassioned wall From that small prison overhead. ‘My wren is but a nightingale! I’ll wring its noisy throat!’ he said —Sarah Piatt in Century WHAT A WORK IS MAN ! The Human Body the Moat Wonder ful Thing- In the World. Human beings are of all sizes, but the tall man is less common than the abort Only one* in every 208 exceeds the height of six feet For every foot of stature a man should weigh from 26 to 28 pounds, a proportion that is not the lot of all in these hurrying, scurrying days. An average sized man weighs 140 pounds; a woman 125 pounds. Curious ly enough, the mean weight and height of lunatics are below those of jane peo ple. Another unexpected thing in this respect is that a negro’s skeleton weighs more than that of an Englishman. The vitalizing power is the blood, a drop of which takes but 22 seconds to go the round of the body There passes through the heart once every three min utes an amount of this precious fluid equal to all that is contained in the body. The mileage of the blood circula tion reveals some astonishing and un dreamed of truths. It is estimated that, assuming the average speed of the heart to be 69 beats a minute, the blood travels 207 yards in 60 seconds. In oth er words, 7 miles an hour, 168 a day. or 6,320 per year. If a man of 84 could have one single blood corpuscle floating in his blood all his life, it would have traversed in that period no less than 5,160,808 miles. The average weight of the brain of an adult male is 3 pounds 8 ounces, of a female 2 pounds 8 ounces. The woman’s brain begins to decline in weight after the age of 80, the man’s not till ten years later. According to high authorities the nerves, with their branches and minute ramifications con necting with the brain, exceed 10,000,- 000 in number. The palms of the hands and soles of the feet are composed of cushions of fat, in order that sudden jolts and violent blows may be successfully resisted and no injury done to the muscles and bones underneath The muscles—of whioh the tongue monopolizes 11—and bones of the human structure in combination are capable of more than 1,200 different motions. The teaching of experience indicates that accidents are far more likely to oc cur to the right leg and arm than to the left. Further evidence of this fact is supplied by the makers of artificial limbs. They dispose of many more ap pendages to the right aide of the body than to the other Statistics show that in 54 cases out of 100 the left leg is stronger than the right. If a man could move bis legs propor tionally as fast as an ant, he would travel not far from 800 miles an hour -—London Mail. nauing nil »*a.re. A certain board school teacher is re sponsible for the following little story, which is not without its pathetic side. He was endeavoring to explain the term "booking” as applied to our rail way system. "Now, ” he was saying, “can any of you tell me the name of the office at which railway tickets are sold?” "The booking office, ” replied one of the lads. "Right, ” responded the teacher. At this moment his eye fell on a small boy at the end of the class, who was evidently paying very little atten tion to what was said. "Did you hear that. Dowser?" he demanded. “Wot, sir?" asked that youth inno cently. "As I thought, you were not listen ing. We will suppose that your father decided to have a day’s holiday and visit the seaside. What would he have to do before he could take his seat in the train?” Without a moment’s thought the youngster electrified his teacher by re plying, "Pawn bis tools.”—London Standard. Au Odd Collection. One of the most remarkable collec tions of souvenirs ever made is a collec tion of male opera hats by one of the actresses of a London company. She owns no fewer than 216 of these arti cles, for it was her whim to make every young man who was introduced to her give her bis opera hat as a souvenir. She not only keeps them in their pris tine condition, but converts them into all sorts of other things, such as photo graph frames, workbaskets, and some are even used for the purpose of holding flowerpots. Golden Silence. A man who once met Ralph Waldo Emerson at the house of a friend tells of the characteristic way in which the Concord philosopher blunted the edge of a compliment. "Ob, Mr. Emerson," said-a young woman of the party, "it must be so de lightful to know that people all over the country are grateful for the things you have said!" "Thank you,” said Emerson slowly, “but it is for some of the things I have not said that I feel most grateful. ” A Story of Georva IV. In Lady Gregory's newly published reminiscences she says of George IWs trip to Ireland in 1821: "The king ar rived after a good passage, during which much goose pie and whisky had been consumed. Word had just come of the death of Napoleon at St. Helena. The story goes that ‘Sire, your enemy is dead,' were the words he was greeted with. ‘When did she die?’ was his re sponse. But the queen was indeed also dead." The Gambling Bacillua. Successful sports know that in the highways and byways are countless idiots who skimp their families, borrow, beg and even steal in order to bet on horse races at odds of 4 to 1 against them in the long run, on stocks at 20 to 1, on slugging matches at everything to nothing. The gambling bacillus in* fests every legitimate sport and soon rots it. —Criterion. #1 .OO Per Annum in Advance. A DRAMATIC CLIMAX. The Effect of One Woman's Pathetic Eye* on a Jury. That juries are affected by handsome and languishing eyes is proved by a re markable experience of the greatest ad vocate at the New York bar, the late James T. Brady. He was counsel for a young woman in a case involving an attempt to break a will. His client sat by bis side. She was a very beautiful young woman whose eyes seemed always to rivet the atten tion of those upon whom her glance fell. There was a pathetio expression which affected every one. She sat watching the jury during the course of the trial, and at last there was some complaint that she was attempting by means of her glances to excite the sym pathy of the jury. Then Mr. Brady arose and in one of the most touching and beautiful of all the addresses he ever made in court he spoke of the blessings which every one who had an appreciation of beautiful things and could see them enjoyed, and dwelt for some moments upon the happy lot of the jury who could see the bud ding of the flowers—it was then spring time—and the charms of nature; then, suddenly turning to his client, he said, “That blessing is denied my client, for, though she has eyes which seem to look upon you, gentlemen, there is no vision in them, for her sight has been taken from her. ” She had been, in fact, the victim of total paralysis of the optic nerve, which had not impaired the beauty of her eyes, but had given to them that sin gular patbetib expression which she was thus falsely charged with employing that she might secure the sympathies of the jury.—Philadelphia Press. He Obeyed Order*. Years ago, when Clemenceau was the mayor of Martre and at the same time a deputy, he opened a dispensary in the quarter, where advice was given free, for Clemenceau is a specialist in skin diseases. One day he noticed that he had just one hour in which to get his luncheon and go down to the chamber, where he had to interpellate the gov ernment. He called his assistant and said, “How many more patients are there waiting?” “Six,” replied the man. One after the other had his case diag nosed, and Clemenceau, after another glance at his watch, said, “Tell the other two to undress at once, as I have only two more minutes to wait.” One entered, and Clemenceau wrote out a prescription in the twinkling of an eye. The last man came in as naked as the day when be was born. Clemenceau eyed him for a minute and then said: “You are suffering from no skin dis ease. What have you come here to worry me for?” The man looked at him aghast for a minute and replied: “Skin disease? I never said I had a skin disease. Your man came in and told me to undress, M. le Depute, and I did so. All I want ed to ask you was to use your influence to get my sister a place in the post offices in Algeria. ” Clemenceau smiled, took hie name and did use his influence.—Today. How Far Can Quail Flyf A number of sportsmen have been discussing the question of how far a quail can fly. There are a good many contingencies to be considered in arriv ing at a definite conclusion of the ques tion, the which cuts no inconsiderable figure in the distance one of these birds can fly. If there is a stiff wind blow ing and the bird’s course is with the wind, a full grown quail could certain ly go more than a mile with ease and doubtless a much greater distance. Those who have noticed quail trying to fly across the Missouri river, where the distance is about a mile, recall that not all the birds make the trip safely. They usually pick a spot where they can make a halt on a sand bar in mid stream, and thus cross the river in two flights. But sometimes they make the distance at a single flight, and this seems to be their full limit under nor mal conditions, for when they alight they are completely exhausted. It is generally believed that on an average a mile is about the limit of the flight of a quail where it is neither fa vored nor retarded by the wind. It hap pens very often that in crossing the Missouri river at a single flight quail drop exhausted into the water. Proba bly these are young birds. —St. Louis Republic. Danger* of Laughter. It is surprising to learn from the highest medical authority in England that laughter may be injurious. Laughter in itself, says the British Medical Journal, cannot very well kill, but it may do harm. Hysterical girls and boys with kindred nervous affec tions are often given to immoderate laughter, which tends to increase nerv ous exhaustion. Dr. Feilohenfeld relates an instruc tive case in which a little girl suffered from very definite cardiac symptoms after immoderate laughter. The patient was 18 years old and had previously been free from any sign of heart dis ease. After laughing on and off for nearly an hour with some companions she suddenly felt stabbing pains in the chest and was seized with fits of cough ing, followed by cardiac dyspnoea, very well marked. Feilchenfeld believes that the cardiac disease directly resulted from immoderate laughing. Defending Hi* Profession. “Now,” said the attorney for the de fense, “let us take up the bill present ed by the plaintiff in this case for al leged services rendered to my client. 1 say alleged services, gentlemen of the jury, because these figures show every indication of having been doctored.” “Would it not be better to say law yered?” asked an indignant physician who was serving as one of the jurors.— Chicago Tribune. Scotland'* Strange Bird*. From the small island of St. Kilaa, off Scotland, 20,000 young gannets and an immense number of eggs are annual ly collected, and although this bird lays only one egg per annum and is four years in obtaining its maturity its num bers do not diminish Obviously such birds must reach a great age, or they would long ago have been exterminated —4 The deserts of Arabia are specially remarkable for their pillars of sand, which are raised by whirlwinds and have a very close resemblance in their appearance to waterspouts. It is said that so difficult is the art of cutting gloves that most of the prin cipal cutters are known to the trade by name and by fame. NUMBER 4. THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND. It* Abolition Is n Grievous Wrong to the Children. This is an evil which has crept in with the tendency to centralize the schools. When in any place the schools begin to overflow, a movement to put up a larger building takes place, accom panied by an effort to create a high school department, not so much the need of the community as the ambitious dream of some principal who would be superintendent or some sort of central sun to a group of satellites. This dream is too easily realized, be cause it flatters the people. Then there rises a preposterous structure of stone and brick. A house of many gables, out of keeping with everything, either pub lic or private, in the place; a temple of vanity. Now is rung the knell of the school playground, for the new “high school,” although it will house all the children from 5 to 15, must needs be surrounded by a fine lawn, studded with shrubbery and threaded by blue stone roads. The janitor has to employ an assistant to keep the grounds in or der. A shut in, penitentiarylike place has been evolved by the architect and school committee, gratifying to their pride and a deep wrong to the children. There are many wrongs about it. The one insisted upon here is the abolishing of the recess, that time honored joy of the American schoolboy and schoolgirl. —lsabella G. Oakley in Popular Science Monthly Music and Eating-. I dined the other day at a restaurant where the dinner is served to the ac companiment of an orchestra. We had “King Cotton” with the oysters and rag time with the soup. Then the or chestra slid into that always beautiful intermezzo of “Cavalleria Rusticana. ” They played it much more slowly than I remember ever to have heard it be fore. The head waiter fidgeted and gnawed his lip. There was misery in his eye. At last he disappeared in the direction of the musicians, and a mo ment later trbe intermezzo began to gal lop along, presto, prestissimo, and at the end of it the orchestra struck up a two step. The head waiter came back relieved. “We can’t have slow music here, madam,” ho said to mo when I asked him about it. “ We’d never get through, and I wants to get off early. People eats too slow when they plays slow music.” And when I looked around I saw that knives, forks and spoons were moving to the tempo of the twostep. Everybody was hurrying. The bead waiter knew what he was about.—Washington Post The Retort Courteous. Father O’Leary, a well known Ro man Catholic priest and wit, was on very friendly terms with his neighbor, the Church of England vicar. They met on the road one day, when the vicar said excitedly, “Oh, Father O’Leary, have you heard the awful news?” “No,” says the priest, “what is it, at all?” “Something awful,” says the vicar. “The bottom has fallen out of purga tory, and all the Catholics have tum bled into hell I” “Oh, dear, oh, dear,” says Father O’Leary, “what a crushing the poor Protestants must have got!”—London Chronicle. An Explanation. Little Dot —Mamma, I was playing with your best tea set while you were away, and when you bring it out for company you’ll be shocked, ’cause you’ll think one of the cups has a hair in it, but it isn’t a hair. Mamma—What is it? Little Dot—lt’s only a crack.—Pick Me Up. A Handicap. Corson—Do yon think trained nurses should be pretty? Hillebrand—Not if they are expected to follow their calling permanently.— Philadelphia North American. And Miniftterial Too. The Bachelor —Well, how did your battle with the coquette come out? The Newly Made Benedict —It was a tie. —Syracuse Herald. For Overworked girls and Feeble wom en, Simmons Squaw Vine Wine or Tab lets are nature’s greatest boon. The Mau of Moderate Means. “Among the circulars that I re ceived from time to time by mail,” said the man of moderate means, “I find now and then one of a bank, setting forth its strength and re sources and inviting my account. Very limited banking facilities would be ample for my business, but I am glad to get the circular nevertheless, just as I am pleased when a cabman says, ‘Cab, siri’ to me, because it classifies me with the men of substance. ” —New York Sun. Generous Girl. Little Fred—Mamma says she’s always glad to have you come to our house. Mr. Jenkins—lndeed! Then your mamma likes me, does she! Little Fred—l don’t know about that, but Sister Mildred always di vides up with the bonbons that you bring her.—Chicago News. If Gloomy and Nervcus, and looking on the dark side of things, take a few doses of Dr. M. A. Simmons Liver Med ieine, and the glooai will disapper. Took the Hint. “1 dearly love birds, ” he gently sighed, and then she didn’t do a thing but hasten to the open piano and softly began singing “I wish I were a bird.” They are looking for a nest now. Yonkers Statesman Length and Breadth. Mrs. Billus —Well, I’m glad we went. Foreign travel does broaden one’s mind so! Mr. Billus—And shortens his bank account.—Chicago Tribune. The quorum which ratified the United States constitution for Pennsylvania was secured by abduction and held be hind locked doors. “Trivial” is derived from the Latin for three ways, and means the petty sossiD of the crossroads. QYSPEPSIA is the cause of un told suffering. By taking Hood’s Sarsaparilla the digestive organs are toned and dyspepsia IS CURED.