Newspaper Page Text
The Gainesville Eagle.
W. H. CRAIG.
Kd’r.or an'l Ihnaiif
•fn. rprw.'f (it (Ini <■ ent'i It 0 *-q.
<l.B second-.-lnsu matt,CT.
•Sagte Call: Bell P’.ioup No. 56.
Thursday, June h, 1914.
GUESSING AT THE SPHINX.
We have believed for a long time
that this fool prognosticating as to
what little jo was going to do would
get somebody into trouble.
And now it has come, and from
a totally unexpected quarter. And
J. R. Smith, a rather green-looking
statesman, is the one that got it
where the chicken got the axe.
Os course you know who the said
J. R. is. And that’s the fun of it.
And when you' reflect who the
said J. R. is. the more will the won
der grow. The said J. R. is the one
that got the credit for electing joey
b governor in 1908. He was mana
ger of the j b campaign—and that
gave him the full credit of having
sent the Hon. Hoke to the grass.
Os course all sensible people knew,
and still know, that it was the hard
times that beat the Hon. Hoke—but
the said J. R. got the credit.
And on the strength of it the said
J. R. was elevated from a rather
green-looking grocery clerk to the
magnitude of a regular political phe
nom.
And the said J. R. has been posing
as one ever since, although still keep
ing up the rather green look on his
frontispiece.
Now, this guessing at the sphinx
is the cause of the downfall of the
said J. R. As we said before, this
guessing at the sphinx is a fool bus
iness, and is based on the idea that
the whole country is on the qui
vive (we don’t know what that is)
to know what joey b is going to do—
when in fact very few people care,
or have cared for several years, ex
cept the legpullers.
Before we pass on we will tell you
what the real Sphinx is—the old
original Spinx that gave rise to call
ing little joe one. It is in Egypt—
is cut out of sandstone—and with
what little eyesight it has is always
gazing out upon the desert, without
saying a word to anybody. An owl
in the daytime has these character
istics—and also has little jo.
The said J. R., posing as John the
Beloved Disciple, has never been
disturbed one whit as to what joey
the sphinx was going to do. but has
felt sure that he could find out all
about it by merely inserting his
gimlet and letting the information
flow.
So the said J. R. hied him to Ma
rietta —which is the Mecca of the
sphinx-guesser—-and reposed his
head ou the bosom of joey b. This
is no reflection on Lazarus.
And he came back and gave it out
to the papers that he had gimleted
Little jo and that little jo had lam
basted Brother Slaton to the queen’s
taste. He said that little jo had
said that “Slaton’s candidacy for
Bacon’s place would spell calamity
with a big K.”
About this time a certain Mr. Pax
son came out and said the Said J. R.
was mistaken—that he had dropped
in on the sphinx while the said J. R.
was reposing on his bosom, and had
htard the remarks, and that little
jo had not said the aforesaid. The
said Paxson, according to his pick
■chers in the papers, is a flue, portly
looking man—much better looking
than the said J. R. He wasn’t what
you might call a Beloved Disciple,
but he had been on joey b’s staff —a
major-general or something—when
jo was a guvnerin’ it.
So now the issue was joined be
tween the campaign manager and
the major-general.
Last Saturday the Macon Tele
gragh sent a man to see the sphinx,
and the spiux opened his eyes long
enough to say that he was not going
to run affin Slaton —intimated that
Slaton wa- all right—intimated that
the said J. R. had nor quoted him
correctly in regard to the “calamity
with the bin’ K.”
This brought the said J. R. out
with a piece in the papers in which
he lambasts both little jo and Broth
er Slaton.
He lets the cat out of the bag in
several particular-. He says that
upon Mr. Bacon’s death he asked
Slaton to appoint little joe. but that
Slaton gave him the marble heart.
This reminds us that about that
time a trio of Gainesvillians, who
out of deference we will call
statesmen, went down and saw
Brother Slaton in the interest of
little jo, and Brother Slaton
gave them a cold, unsympathetic
stare. Then they went to Clark
Howell to get Clark to get Slaton
to app’int little jo. and Clark gave
them a genuine horse laugh and
asked them what they took him for!
Now it possible that li.tle joey,
too. h?< joined the celebrated ’’p -ece
I
L/
pact” that has causedjsuch lamen
tation among the faithful and the
leg-pullers?
If little jo has indeed joined it,
that will mean that if he runs for
anything it will not be against Hoke.
We have always said, and here
repeat it, that little jo will not meas
urelances with Hoke. Whatevermay
be said about little jo, no one except
an insane man or a perjurer would
ever say that joey B. was lacking in
sense. Intellectually, no man in the
whole country is his superior, and
few’ his equals.
If he had a few good looks, or
would make better use of what few
he has got. he could take his brains
and be a power in politics.
Os course, according to common
rumor, the writer of this has nothing
to brag about, but we think we can
safely affirm that we are not in little
jo’s class at all.
ABOUT OBITUARIES.
Every now and then we find it
necessary to say something about
the publication of obituaries, on ac
count of the forgetfulness of the
people.
About three years ago the mana
gers of the three city papers entered
into and signed an agreement to not
publish any obituary or tribute of
respect without charging three cents
per line for same. The three city
papers published this fact at the
mast heads of their respective papers
for a period of several months.
The Eagle has lived up to this
agreement with scrupulous fidelity.
We have declined to publish obitu
aries or tributes of respect for rich
and poor alike. There have been
times when w r e regretted to refuse a
poor widow who was left desolate in
the Valley of the Shadow’, but
we were honor bound to live by our
agreement made with our fellow
publishers.
Now, dear friend, don’t you take
a fool notion that because you stand
high in business or society you can
come in our sanctum and slam dow n
a laudation to some one and get it
in the paper for nothing. Because
you can’t. The only w-ay to get one
of these things in the Eagle free is
to promise to pay and then fail.
We pay City license for the priv
ilege of booming the town, and that
is a far as we intend to go. Obitu
aries and tributes of respect must
be paid for. This applies to every
body—to the Lazarus and Dives —
to Carnegie and Coxey.
So now please don’t do it any
more.
WORRYING A STATESMAN-
The Cleveland Courier last week
contained the following article:
If the person who wrote Hon.
Thos. M. Bell for some agricultural
bulletins May 14th and has not heard
from him will advise us we will in
form Mr. Bell who it was that wrote
the letter, but forgot to sign there
name thereto. Mr. Bell has written
us asking if we knew who the writer
was.
Now, isn’t it almost inconceivable
that a person writing to “Hon. Thos..
M. Bell” on such important business
as getting a pamphlet on bugs
would forget to sign his name to ift?
And the “Hon. Thos. M. Bell” used
his government frank to inquire of
the efficient P. M. at Cleveland who
it was that wrote the letter. How
in the Sam Hill did he think the
efficient P. M. would know who
wrote it?
But whoever it was, he deserves a
scathing reprimand. He ought to
be more careful. He ought to have
known that this little lapse would
necessitate the “Hon. Thos. M.
Bell” leaving his arduous duties to
write to the “Efficient P. M.” to in
quire who it was that wanted the
book with the pedigree of the grass
hoppers and the chinches and the
zoo-bugs.
And the poor benighted man, un
less he reads the Courier, will never
know that the “Hon. Thos. M.
Bell” doesn't know who wrote this
letter—and may get mad at the
“Hon. Thos. M. Bell” and refuse to
vote for him. For there is nothing
so furious as love to hatred turned.
And there is nothing so calculated
to turn over a Bell man's liver as to
be invited to write to the “Hon.
Thos. M. Bell” for the Chronicles
of the Zoo-bug and then failtoget it.
But after all it may be that the
■’Hon. Thos. M. Bell” is merely
hippodroming —that he never in fact
received any such bobtailed letter,
but is only playing to the grand
stand. For it is a great hobby of his
that he is very scrumptious about
“attending to the people's wants.”
This sure is attending to them—
and it is statesmanship of the
highest order.
HOW ABOUT IT, DOCTOR?
A correspondent of the Constitu
tion from Commerce sends a dis
patch that a petition containing 317
names has been forwarded from that
place to Hugh Dorsey begging him
to run for governor. This petition
says:
We thp undersigned believe it is
necessary that the state of Georgia
be-represented by men of ability,
w’orth and high standing in our state
who are able to foster wise and
necessary legislation and prevent
that which is injudicious and harm
ful.
The dispatch says this petition is
signed by 317 “well-known citizens
of Commerce.”
Wp are inclined to think there is
some mistake about this. It would
take about all the voters there are
in Commerce to make3l7. We have
heard it frequently mentioned that
our good friend Dr. Lam Hardman
was a candidate for governor, and
he lives in Commerce, and he is a
man of “ability, worth, and high
standing.” We have no official
know-ledge that the Dr. is running.
The Gainesville Eagle is about the
only paper we read, and we have
seen nothing in that excellent
journal to indicate that Brother
Hardman’s candidacy is a real one.
If there are really 317 men in
Commerce who are petitioning Hugh
Dorsey to run on the idea of having
a “man of ability, worth, and high
standing,” weare inclined to believe
it is all a mistake about the Doctor’s
candidacy.
LOOKING AT HUGH DORSEY.
The prospective candidacy for th*
governorship of Hugh Dorsey seems
to be viewed with different emotions
by many politicians of the State—
owing to the angle at which he is
looked at.
To some be is the invading boll
weevil; to others a Bluchev.
To the supporters of Anderson,
Dr. Hardman, and Nat and Census
Bill Harris he is viewed with
feelings of a panicky nature. But
they let him down easy, fearing to
offend his supporters. They say he
Is “young yet, and can bide his
time;” that he is unqestionably “a
great man;” that he is “young, and
should make no mistake” —and all
that kind of dishwashy stuff.
But to others he is not viewed as
a fowl invader. These are they’ who
are looking for a Blucher —or night-
To this class belongs, notably, our
esteemed contemporary, the Herald.
This journal of the ponderous and
impressive WE is engaged with the
absorbing problem of the County’
Unit and Census Bill.
The ponderous and impressive We
are fur County Unit because Census
Bill is agin it, and agin Census Bill
because he is Hoke’s man.
And as the ponderous and impres
sive We have no home man running
for governor, they’ are fur Hugh
Dorsey because he c;ui probably
l>eat Census Bill —and Census Bill
seems to have the bulge on the pres
ent entries. And also fur Hugh
because he is reputed to have downed
Rube, the man who put the steam
roller over the faithful.
You see. there is al way:-» reason
for a thing.
We are convinced that if the pon
derous We should step on tI.X“ edge of
a little State like Rhode- Island it
would tip up. It is the most impres
sive thiiig since the Lord said “Let
US make man.”
HIDDEN TAX MILLIONS-
From Atlanta Constitution.
Itiis an astounding tale of hidden
millions—millions of taxable prop
erty values—now for the first time
paying toll to the treasury of Geor
gia that is told by’ Jwdge John C.
Hart. State Tax Commissioner, ad
ministering the new tax equalization
act.
He shows that in one county alone,
Wilkes, the tax equalization law,
and its administration by keen local
tax assessors, has added to the tax
digest one-quarter of a million dol
lars in taxable values which here
tofore belonged there, but which the
slipshod laws of Georgia bad previ
ously exempted. Here is one-quar
ter of a million added to the State’s
taxable wealth without injustice,
hardship or ill-feeling, from officials
or property owners. And Wilkes is
only’ one out of many.
Judge Hart calls the roll of other
counties, large and small, each with
their revelations of new wealth to he
added to Georgia’s taxable values,
most of them withheld in innocent
ignorance and returned lor the first
time in the State's history.
A significant feature of the inter
view in Judge Hart's statement that
satisfaction with the new law is
well-nigh universal; complaints and
arbitrations so few as to be excep
tional.
If any Georgian doubted the wis
dom and justice of tax equalization,
here is the end of his doubt.
If any Georgian doubted that the
tax rate will be reduced by proper
equalizaton, here is proof that it
will be reduced and the State put
upon a respectable, sound financial
basis.
Judge Hart at one stroke cites
arguments that ought to remove this
law from selfish politics and dema
goguery.
He cites reasons why’ every Geor
gian who wants to pay his share of
State expense, no more and no less,
should energet’callv co-operate in
the enforcement of the law.
AN EX-GOVERNOR’S VIEWS OF CAPITAL
PUNISHMENT.
The American Magizine has been
offering prizes for the best letters on
capital punishment. The first prize
was won by J. Frank Hanly, ex
governor of Indiana. A portion of
his letter is produced as follows:
“I have read and thought "much
upon the subject of capital punish
ment. Six times in my have
faced the responsibility of its inflic
tion, holding within my own will de
cision concerning it, with power to
suspend it or let it be imposed—the
power of life and death over its in
tended victim. My convictions con
cerning it are deep-rooted and firmly
established. lam opposed to it in
any form. Every fiber of my being,
physical and moral, revolts at it.
Four times out of six I set aside the
penalty and communited the sen
tence to life imprisonment. Twice
I let the thing be done.
“I was at that time governor of a
great commonwealth. The law- pro
vided for the death penalty. I had
sworn to enforce the law. The
power of clemency was mine, an
attribute of the great office I held,
a high and solemn power. But it
was not mine to use at will or to ar
bitrarily exercise, or, indeed, to ex
ercise at all, except for grave and
public reasons. I had no right to
suspend a law’ duly and solemnly
enacted, simply because my own
personal conviction did not accord
with its mandate. My duty seemed
to me to be aptly defined by Justice
Samuel F. Miller, of the United
States supreme court, in sentencing
a prisoner found guilty of murder
in a case over which he presided
while on the bench.
“ "The penalty which the law at
taches to your offense is one which
my private judgment does not ap
prove, for I do not believe that cap
ital punishment is the best means to
enforce the observance of the law-,
or that, in the present state of so
ciety, it is necessary for its protec
tion. But I have no more right, for
that reason, to < efuse to obey the
law than you have to resist it.
“ ‘ln the four eases in which I ex
tended elemeney there w-ere palli
ating eirc-ranwstances that seemed to
justify executive mercy. Ln §,the
other two there was no fact or cir
cumstance upon which to base such
action,, and I permitted the sentence
of the court to be carried out. But
to my dying day I shall be unable
to acqiuit or justify the
posed the awf’-sl res|M<nsibility upon
me.
“ ‘Tire-death penalty is inconsistent
with the-highest principles of Amer
ican penal codes or constitution.
'“ ‘lt is-a part ®>f the old penal sys
tem of torture and of bodily mutila
tion, a system founded upon retribu
tion. It belongs to the days of the
Inquisition, the-wheel and the rack,
the stake and the fagot lt<> the hatred
and the furies of a time long gone,
fitting only the iron hand of a Nero,
the metallic- of a Bismarck. De
pending for its authority upon*‘what
dead men ha-vewritte-n in old books,’
it has no place among the just, mer
ciful, and solemn enactments of a
free, enlightened and Christian
people.’ ”
At Summer Home.
Rev. J. A. Deal and family left
this-week for their summer home in
Franklin,. N. C. They will return
about September Ist.
Way Have Ball Team.
Messrs. Frank Anderson and
Harvev Lokey are this weekjtrying i
to get together a first class ball team
for Gainesville.
The present grounds, known as
Brenau Park, where the games have
heretofore been played, is being de
stroyed by running a black snake
curve thru it in extending Washing
ton street, but Mr. Sandy,’Beavers
of Riverside Militaryl’collge says
that he will soon have the ball’field
at that place injshape, and the
games will be played there.
The line up, as now contemplated
by the managers is as follows:
Howell Smith, p.; Frank Cox, c.;
Prank Anderson, lb.; H. Lokey,
2b.; Beech Cox. 3b.; Fatty “White,
ss.; .lean Bagwell, rs.; G. Lokey,
cf.; C. Lokey, If.
These young men are all good ball
players, and if they can get the team
together in the right spirit, the fans
of Gainesville may expect to wit
ness some good games this season.
—«
Rev. and Mrs. .1. A. Deal, and
their daughter. Jessica, left Wednes
day to spend the summer in Frank
lin, N. C.
There is more Catarrh in this section of
tiie country than all other diseases put to
gether, and until the last few years supposed
to be incurable. For a great many years
doctors pronounced it :i local disease and
prescribed local remedies, and by con
stantly failing to cure with local t reatment.
pronounced it incurable. Science has
proven Catarrh to be a constitutional dis
ease, and therefore requires constitutional
treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manu
factured by F. J. Cheney A- Co., Toledo.
Ohio, is the only Constitutional cure on the
market. It is taken internally ini doses
from 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It acts di
rectly on the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system. They offer one hund red dolla rs
for any case it fails to cure. Send sos cir
culars and testimonials.
Address: F. J. OHENKY& CO.. Toledo.
Ohio.
Sold by Druggists. 7->c.
| Take Hall’s Family Pills for • .mstipathm.
MONKEY HAS UTTLE BRAIN
Keeper, After Many Year* of Associa
tion With Them, Fully Conversant
of Their Limitations.
The recent death of George Mans
bridge, head keeper of the apes and
monkeys at the London zoo, has led
to the publication of his views re
garding our nearest animal kin—ob
viously the views of an expert, as he
had spent thirty-four years with the
zoo monkeys. Mansbridge was more
or less well known to scientists
through his association with the late
Professor Romanes during the lat
ter’s efforts to get some new light
on the mental equipment of apes.
They succeeded in teaching one of
Mansbridge’s charges to count up to
five, without the use of any trick
sign. They also educated the same
animal so that she could tell the
difference between white and any
other color, but beyond this distinc
tion her color sense did not go.
Mansbridge himself taught his apes
many simple tricks. One of the
most striking of these was the feed
ing of one orang by another. Al
though these animals are very greedy,
one of them, when handed a cup of
milk and a spoon, and told to feed
his sister, would do so until the
keeper gave him permission to help
himself. Mansbridge was unusually
successful in handling his monkeys,
and could do very much as he liked
with the younger ones. He believed,
however, that as they grew older
their nature changed and they be
came treacherous and dangerous. He
had comparatively little control of
his grown-up apes, and admitted his
fear of the two large orangs in the'
zoo.
AT THE HENPECK CLUB
✓
Mr. Pewee —Do- you ever quarrel
with y®ur wife?
Mr. Homebody -—lt takes two to
make a quarrel, and I never have a
chance.
THE CITY QF THE DEAD.
Vera €ruz, the principal seaport
of Mexico, off which the United
States- fleet now lies, has figured
often, and disastrously in Mexican
history. The town itself marks the
spot where the Spanish conqueror
Cortes landed on Good Friday, 1619,
andi the old citadel of San Juan de
Ulloa has three times within the past
century been compelled to yield to
a foreign invader—to the French in
1838, to the United States general,
Soott, in 1847, and to the French
again in 1862. Vera Cruz is a well
built and picturesque town, but its
history and the ravages of yellow
fever have gained it the sinister
nickname “The City of the Dead.”"
MORE USE FOR THE TONGUE.
Benedict—l understand one test
for distinguishing diamonds from
glass and paste is to touch them with
the tongue. The diamond feels
much the colder.
Bachelor—Good gracious! Don't
start that rumor! Don't the women
use their tongues enough as it is ?
HARD TO DECIDE.
<f What are you pondering about,
Marie?”
"Aly husband and myself are di
viding the furniture pending a di
vorce.”
‘‘Well?”
“If vou were I, would you rather
have an icebox and six dining-room
chairs than an old-style piano with
a chipped leg
NOT SO PARTICULAR.
“Is this sleeping in the open air
a tentative proposition ?”
“Oh, no; needn’t have a tent A
common back porch'll do.”
THE COMEBACK.
“Look at all the lawyers and doe
tors we are turning out.”
“Well, they’ll return the compli
ment by taking us ul”
"■ ESI
I & j
POWDER
Absolutely Pure
NO ALUM.NO UME PHOSPHATE
(Miss Lake Pierson of Highlands.
N. C., was a guest of Mrs. J. A
Deal during the past week.
A 11-Dav Singing
There will be an all-day singing
a Redwine Church the third Sunday
in June. Everybody is invited te
come and bring well-filled baskets
The following singers will be pres
ent: J. 1). Turk and his class, L.
E.‘ W6o<t and his class, Emory
Peek and his class, J. W. Beard and
his class, John Webb and his class,
anti other good singers. The editor
of the Eagle has a special invitation
to be present. J. W. Allen.
Mrs. J. Lamb Johnston, Jr., of
Helen, Miss Alice Merlinjones, Miss
Elizabeth Knauth, and Messrs. W.
M.. and Hal Furlow of Clarksville
were week-end guests of Mrs. J. A.
DeaL
Water far Birds and Dogs.
To the Editor:
These hot d-ays are hard on birds
ami dogs, tor they suffer intensely
for water. We are taught in Holy
Writ to be merciful to dumb ani
mals.. With a very little effort on
your part we could materially re
lieve the strife ring- of the birds and
the dogs by placing a pan of water
in the front yard, and see that it i
supplied with water twice or so :<
day. I have done thi~ for several
days, andi I have been surprised to
see the number of birds flock t<-
drink. Yottrs truly.
I. M. Merlinjones.
Cures Stubborn, Itchy Skin
Troubles
“I could scratch myself to pieces '
is often heard from sufferers ot
Eczema, Tetter. Itch and similar
Skin Eruptions. Don't Scratch —
Stop the Itching at once with De.
Hobson s- Eczema Ointment. Its
lirsl application starts healing: the
Red. Jioiygh. Scaly. Itching Skin is
soothed by the Healing and Cooling
Medicines. Mrs. (’. A. Einfeldt,
Rock Island. 111., after using Dr
Hobson's Eczema Ointment, writes:
“This is the first time in nine years
I have been free from the dreadful
ailment." Guaranteed. ‘ 5»»e., at
your Druggist.
HOW FAR THEY COULD TRAVEL.
An old Irish woman traveling on
a train one day noticed that two
young men who were fellow passen
gers and who were traveling on
passes did not pay. Turning to
them, she said :
“How does it come that you voung
men do not pay. while an old woman
like me has to pa\ ?"
"Oh," they explained, ‘‘we are
traveling on our looks."
She looked from one to the other
a few seconds, and then said: "Sure,
and you must be near your journey’s
end.”
CUTTING DOWN EXPENSES.
“A oung \\ igley has given up his
bachelor days and gone and got mar
ried."
"V hat r And beef threatening to
go to a dollar a pound?"
“Mell, that’s better than a dollar
a bite he’s been paying heretofore at
the restaurants, isn’t it ?”
ENCOURAGEMENT.
Dobbs—Has the widow given vou
any encouragement ?
Hobbs—Rather! When I asked
her how long her husband had been
dead she said he’d been dead about
long enough.—Brooklyn Citizen.
APTLY DESCRIBED.
“That’s a fine, imposing building
over there.”
“Right you are! And it contains
a fine imposing judge. It’s the po
lice court.”