Newspaper Page Text
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The Gainesville E)gle.
W. H. CRAIG.
Editor and Business Manager.
Entered at Gainesville, Ga., post-office
as second-class matter.
Eagle Call: Bell Phone No. 56-
Thursday, July 30, 1914.
DORSEY CAME—AND WENT
Well, Dorsey came and spoke for
Little Joe.
And if he took notice he went
away greatly surprised at the lack
of interest other than that naturally
created by the exhibition of a freak.
This was the first time that he put
'to the test the fame attained by the
prosecution of Frank.
This is the first test as to the ex
tent of his dividends.
Had Dorsey run on his own hook
for governor or anything else it
might have been entirely different.
But when the people got it into
their heads that he had turned mer
cenary—had sold his services tor a
price to bolster up a defunct political
cause and a defunct politician —then
Mr. Dorsey lost all value to the
people except as a freak.
And it was as a freak that four
fifths of the three thousand people
came here to see him. Just as they
would go to see a two-headed calf at
a county fair.
By his coming here not a vote was
changed from Smith to Brown.
Os course there are two reasons
for a political speech. One is to
convert the enemy. The other is to
put ginger into the friends and com
rades.
If Mr. Dorsey enthused anybody
—even Hardy or John Waters
then we are a painfully poor judge
of a political gathering.
Well, they got the crowd all light
—the biggest one since Hoke spoke
here four years ago. Brother Hardy
officiated in seating the victims on
the stage and generally factotemiz
ing around.
Several young men who looked
like they were from Atlanta came
up and were welcomed on the stage.
Then after everything got ripe for
a spectacular entrance, a rather
anemic-looking individual climbed
on the stage.
That was Dorsey—and then was
the moment lor the cataclysm —right
then was the psychological moment
for tb.e trees to come up by the Toots.
Right then and there Brother
Hardy threw up his handkerchief
and squeaked, ft wasn’t a yell—it
was a genuine squeak. ft was an
swered by eight or ten kindred
squeaks, just as tree frogs will
answer each other.
That was all —goodness knows we
would not attempt to misstate it.
That was all.
Judge Jones then arose, and got
up, and addressed the impatient and ;
unfeeling crowd. He reminded them
that Brother Dorsey (and Jim Con
ley) had slain the hydra-headed
dragons, Reube Arnold and Luther
Rosser. But from what they could
see of Dorsey, by strenuous rubber
necking, the crowd could not under
stand how he could have done it.
Much to the delight of the crowd,
Judge Jones in due time got through,
and every neck was craned toward
the platform and toward Dorsey.
As majestically as he could for his
size he arose. Yes, he got up.
Then we were sure-enough ex
pecting the pent-up emotion ot the
crowd to pour its lava forth —it it
ever expected to.
And it did. We are sure. Some
may hold diverse opinions, but we
are particularly sure we heard as
many as 25 voices. But there was,
as far as we could make out, not a
single holler—not a single what you
might call a shout. Just debilitated
and perfunctory squeaks —with no
more life in them than a dead cat —
and a dead cat is a little the deadest
thing in all the world, for a cat has
to be killed nine times, and when a
thing has been killed nine times it
stands to reason that it is deader
than a thing that has been killed
■only once.
So this squeak, or these squeaks,
was as dead as a dead cat—which
is going some.
Some say Dorsey spoke three hours
Lord pity the victims on the plat
form. When they were first invited
to go up here they considered in an
unreserved compliment. Afterward
they looked upon it as a species of
torture which among other bad
things, such as itch and mumps,
must be endured to beat Hoke—so
they were consecrated to their work.
But the little fellow got through
at length. “At length" seems a
fitting term.
An Eastern monarch of the olden
time had a deal of trouble—just as
the Brownites are having. He asked
one of his lackeys for something that
would give relief. This lackey was
a bright fellow —as lackeys always
are, even in Georgia politics. So
he went out and fiddled around a
little and brought in a saying for the
king to use when trouble overcame
him. It was as follows: “Remem
ber—even this shall pass away.”
So when the king was m the dumps
he read the little saying and was
comforted.
• So Brother Dorsey's speech had an
end. as all things must here below.
And Dorsey has torn himself. He
owed Joe Brown one for appointing
him solicitor several years ago. But
he didn’t owe him this much. He
didn't owe him to the extent of
ruining his own political future.
Mr. Dorsey has done this. While
a few weeks ago he was the most
popular man in the State, today he
has cut the friendship of two-thirds
of the people of Georgia, by entering
the lists as a soldier of fortune
against Hoke Smith.
He has thrown the gauntlet in the
face of the laboring men—and it was
the laboring men who marched up
to the Atlanta court house and
shouted when he was trying Leo
Frank.
And now for thirty pieces of silver
—or any other number of pieces of
silver —he has cast the insult in
their faces, by espousing the cause
of little Joe Brown, whose platform
is war to the knife against the labor
ing men.
MARKING THE CANDIDATES WILL BE
EASY MATTER.
The turning back of SB2 to the
United States Treasury by Congress
man Whitherspoon of Mississippi
for four days which he lost pursuing
his private duties, has created more
talk in political circles than per
haps anything that has happend in
the past decade.
But why should a congressman’s
honesty create any comment?
Are not all Congressman honest?
Would you consider voting for a
Congressman or any other candi
date for public office unless you
thought he was honest?
ft is on the statute of the United
States that every Congressman and
Senator shall return money drawn
from the government while pur
suing his own personal affairs that
are in no way connected with the
Government. Yet Congressman
Witherspoon, acting upon his own
idea of personal honesty, and com
plying with the law, ami turning
back four days salary that he was
not entitled to. creates comment in
the world’s greatest daily papers.
And the Atlanta Constitution has
commented upon it editorially for
two issues.
But a little honesty on the part of
a Congressman should not go un
noticed. That is the fact.
And it furnishes a subject for
much thought and comment just at
present while politics in Georgia are
at the highest notch.
For instance; Here is congress
man Hardwick down here in Geor
gia fishing for a higher office. And
we suppose he is drawing his salary.
And there is Hoke Smith up in
Washington sticking to his post and
leaving it to the good judgement of
the people to keep him there, while
his old antagonist, little jo brown,
and tne railroads giving him the
devil in Georgia and trying their
hardest to oust him. But he sets
steady in the boat, and is there yet.
He will never have to turn any
salary back.
And this deserting the post at
Washington and coming home to
re-elect the Big I, comes home to
us, sadly but surely.
Right in the Ninth District we feel
it.
Mr. Bell has already spent 30 days
at home in the interest of Mr. Bell
—at S2O a day —already S6OO.
Do you think he will turn it back
into the Treasury —or any part of it?
And now a quorum can’t be got
in the National House of Repre
sentatives.
Every Congressman and Senator
should learn a lesson from Congress
man Witherspoon of Mississippi.
A STATEMENT FROM BONE.
An institution of some sort calling
itself “The Thos. M. Bell Central
Club’’ publishes in the News a card
from J. C. Bone in which Mr.
Bone says:
“Mr, Charters proceeded with his
speech without interference until
he began his abuse of Mr. Bell for
trying to get a working man by the
name of Prater a position.”
We have known Mr. • Bone for
several years as a nice, gentlemanly
fellow, and it is hard to believe he
wrote or signed this Statement.
The reason it is hard to believe it is
because Mr. Charters never referred
to the Prater matter until the mob
howled at least ten minutes. We
were there and heard every word
he said.
We had never before heard of the
“Thos. M. Bell Central Club,” but
must acknowledge that it is start
ing out well. We can’t imagine
what it puts “Central” to its name
for. What is it the center of? It is
the only one. But it will be the
center ot a hell of a calamity in a
certain night in August.
“HOW ARE THE MICHTY FALLEN?’’
One of the most distressing things
about the heated condition of poli
tics—indeed we might say the most
distressing—is the apostasy of our
dear old friend Jasper Pierce. You
will remember that we have em
balmed him in song and verse and
prose as the type and the antetype of
Good Cheer —a man whose sunshine
is perennial—who wears his heart
on his lips—the very walking em
bodiment of the sentiment, “Hethat
is of merry heart hath a continual
feast.”
Now, Jasper’s deflection amounts
to this: He laughed at one of Tom
Bell's jokes.
Yes, he attended Tom's oration
here and got a seat in the Amen
Corner —right under, the drippings
of the sanctuary, as it were. So it
has been reported. We didn't see
him —the better for us. Fate and
fortune saved us that sad experi
ence. And he laughed, so the story
runs, and clapped his hand at one
of Tom's jokes—one he used last
year—had whiskers on it, like you
often see on things lying around of
a frosty morning. And this alleged
joke was at the expense of the Eagle.
Now, think of the size of Jasper’s
apostasy! Think of getting tickled
at a slam against a paper that has
enshrined him as its patron saint of
Optimism—the evangelist of the gos
pel of the merry’ heart!
The joke which washed Jasper
from his ancient moorings was this:
* “When the Gainesville Buzzard
comes out each week, the Man in
the Moon holds his nose.”
We have thought seriously over
this alleged joke, but have failed to
see anything about it that is calcu
lated to make even an extreme op
timist laugh. A joke, to be funny,
must contain an element of proba
bility’ —must be true to Nature. It
must at least be possible. Now,
Jasper must know, as every’ one
must know, that this joke is ex
tremely improbable. To begin with,
it is not likely’ that the Man in the
Moon could smell anything 240,000
miles away. That is what mgkes it
so extremely’ bewhiskered —extreme-
ly’ improbable that he holds his nose
when the Eagle comes out.
And there is no reason to think
that the Man in the Moon is in sym
pathy’ with Mr. Bell to the extent of
being nauseated by what the Eagle
says about him. It is true all the
transactions of our lunar compatriot
are in in the dark, and he changes
his face pretty’ often —so after all
there may’ be some sort of affinity’ or
kindred feeling between him and
Mr. Bell. But hardly’ to the extent
of being able to smell 240,000 miles. ;
Now, as to real buzzards —doesn’t |
our old friend Jasper know they’ are i
pretty’ valuable —even to the extent
of being protected by the law? What
would we do without buzzards, with
so much carrion lying around?
And don’t you know it is one of
of the missions of the Eagle to re
move little and big bits of political
dead horse from the community?
Os course it pukes us occasionally,
but we are still on the job.
We keep trying to eliminate such
chunks as tombell and billsimmons
—without pay or promise.
The best we can hope for is that
we have been misinformed as to the
backsliding of our old friend Jasper,
whom we still apotheosize as the
chief apostle of Good Cheer. The
very fact he can laugh at one of
Tom Bell’s jokes only proves beyond
peradventure that he is the Univer
sal Optimist.
DEAN ESTIMATING AGAIN.
Yes, the Colonel is doing some
more estimating.
Our old residenters will remember
that the genial Colonel estimated
some in the last Hoke and Joe race.
A few weeks before the election
he told the Brown folks in Atlanta
that Joey had Hall County by the
tail with a downhill pull—that his
majority’ would be at least several
hundred. This guess was all right,
except that be had the Brown and
Hoke figures swapped around.
Now, we had figured on the Colo
nel to help the Lord against the
Philistines in this campaign, inas
much as he said in his paper a few
weeks ago that while “we” had
been agin Hoke, “we” were now for
him.
Now, mind you, brethren, we
don’t say’ that the Colonel is for
Joey, but it has always been con
sidered treason to overestimate the
enemy’s crowd at a speaking. The
rale is to minimize, or underfigure.
So in spite of the Colonel’s journal
istic declaration we cannot help be
lieving that he is leaning toward
little j. b.
For what else could you thinx
when he takes the enemy’s crowd
of 3,000 and builds it up to 7.0oo?
That is what the Colonel said
I about the the little j. crowd last
: Tuesday, according to a fellow
i writing in the Constitution and
signing himself "Walter the Craw.”
' The Colonel ought to have been
i very particular about conversing
i with a man with a name like that.
SHANNON AS A BIBLICAL SCHOLAR.
When a man tries to bolster up a
bad cause he is almost sure to make
a mess of it.
Our old friend Shannon of the
Commerce News, in speaking of the
fact that Joe Brown is not an orator,
goes into very’ ancient history for
examples of men who accomplished
great things and were no orators.
What makes Brother Shannon ap
pear so funny is the examples he
cites. He trots out Noah. Moses, St.
Paul, and others.
How does Shannon know that
Noah was not an orator? What does
he know about it? We think he is
draw on his imagination. We know
Noah was the first man mentioned
in all history to get “a head on him.”
And did you ever know a man to get
“tight” without exercising great
conversational powers? It is true
Noah subsided very; quietly’ in the
first stages of his little “tear,” but
when he had sobered up sufficiently
to get around, didn’t he do some
mighty and voluminous talking to
Ham?
“And Moses was no orator,” says
Shannon. Yes, and for that very’
reason he was unable to deal with
the Egyptian situation. Right then
and there oratory’ was necessary, as
it is in the United States Senate.
“I am not eloquent,” said Moses
when the Lord told him to talk to
Pharaoh. And the Lord said, “Is
not Aaron the Levite thy’ brother?
I know he can speak well.” “And
he shall be thy’ spokesman unto the
people.”
Indeed eloquence was extremely’
necessary.
But Brother Shannon made an
even worse historical blunder when
he said:
“Paul was an orator, but he never
married. We have always believed
he was so mortal ugly’ that no wo
man would have him.”
AVell, now, let us see how much of
an orator St. Paul was. In his let
ters to the Corinthians he says:
“That I may’ not seem as if I
would terrify’ you by letters. For
his letters, say they’, are weighty’
and powerful; but his bodily pres
ence is weak, and his speech con
temptible.”
That is also a pretty good picture
of Little Joe. But Joe dees not seem
to be afraid that he will “terrify”
the people by’ letters.
Paul had more consideration.
WANT “RELIABLE” MEN.
Last week the Bell Club at this
place sent quite a number of letters
to leading Republicans in tile moun
tain counties which read this way:
“Please send us the names of
three reliable Republicans in your
precinct. This will greatly’ oblige
us, and greatly’ please Mr. Bell.”
At least one of these letters was
sent to a man who had suspicions.
He immediately’ sent it to Col. Char
ters, and said he didn’t exactly*
know what it meant, but didn’t like
its smell.
Now, what does the Bell Head
quarters want with the names of
“reliable” Republicans? Do they’
want these “reliable” Republicans
to handle the Bell boodle?
THE CASE OF PINYAN.
The Tombel Hindquarters ought
to have a better understaning with
the editor of the News. The Hind
quarters makes a denial that Tom
Bell secured a pension for Sanford
Pinyan. the cow-stealer. They even
published an affidavit from a fellow
name Saltsgaber stating that Pin
yan, the cow-stealer, does nat draw
a pension. Yet the Hindquarters
knows all the time that Tom did get
a bill through the House to give a
pension to Pinyan, the cow-stealer.
The Hindquarters alto knows that
the bill was killed in the Senate for
want of merit.
Yet on another page of of the News
Brother Hardy prints a little list
and says: “The record shows that
the following bills have been passed
by Mr. Bell.” Then a list is given,
and in the list is this line:
“H. R. 20553, Relief Sanford A.
Pinyan (passed the House.)”
That old Mr. Pinyan. the cow
stealer, is not drawing a pension is
not the fault of Brother Bell. “He
done his damdest.”
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Alamo Theater
TODAY
KING BAGGOT in “The Baited Trap”
Detective Story in 2 Parts. (
“THE FATAL LETTER”
Joker Comedy
Tomorrow
“THE PERILS OF PAULINE”
Ninth Episode—ln 2 Parts.
“BILLY’S RIOT”
Sterling Comedy.
Saturday
Florence Lawrence in “A Singular Cynic”
Victor Drama in 2 Parts.
“SOPHIE OF THE FILMS”—No. 3 .
Comedy—Nestor.
MONDAY
“THE FORBIDDEN ROOM”
Detective Story in 3 Parts—Bison
TUESDAY
“LUCILE LOVE”—No. II
In 2 Parts.
“Universal Ike in a Case on the Doctor”
Comedy
WEDNESDAY
WARREN KERRIGAN in “The Silent Witness”
Western Drama —In 2 Parts
“PAPA’S DARLING”
Imp Comedy.
Coming—“THE TREY OF HEARTS”
OUR BUSINESS IS BANKING j
I
Our effort is to attend to that business. I
K
Our aim is to please.
Our wish, to succeed.
Your patronage will be appreciated.
Your interest will be cared for. j
Tri Os and You’ll be pleased
STATE BANKING CO.,
T. E. ATKINS, W. R. WINBURN
President. Cashier. |
R. J. SANDERS, Vice-Pres.
I
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