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THE HA WKINSVILLE DISPATCH. VOL. 3. Hawkinstiile Dispatch. nrftUSHCD BVKXV THURSDAY BY 1 DENIS W. D. BOULLtT, muon AND WOPKIKTOK. HT|* *OIVt Annum. linrtaWr in Aivanec. jgi tgr Advertisements (1 00 per sfjuNTO- *fi the first insertion, »ntl W cents lor each ■ubseqMirt tnw-rtV-n (A sqttafe TANARUS» the apace of ten lines Brevier trj" ) ... A liberal dedartioft will be m#«H> -with Me who advertise by the Vt-ar Thetnonev feradrertisrtaetiL. o due With tateeM wishing their paper* changed from one part o«oe W another, turn* etate the name of the poet alike from which they wtohilcb*n*ed, aa well aa that to which the; wlab it sent. C6XTRACT AnvtrߥrtT3G 1 m 8 m •m. 18 m 1 metre f 3 7 50 19 80 S«USMi ’« t* JO »0 8 square# 5 2 «n 4 squsre* '! *• |* t etmaiw 18 88 8h ®0 fuSrohunn 83 40 « 100 One column 40 #0 100 lis TUino ok aaai-KCT, irrr. Tribute# of Heepect, Resolution* In* Socle tlea, Obituaries, etc . txMhßlijt six Tine*, l« “be charged aa transient advertising. ■Mil AOVKBTISINO Ordinary’*-—Citation* for Irottera of Admioiatration. by Admiuhurn ton. Executors. Ou*rdi»«*. At ... ♦ ! ■>" Apr.llcatt.m for ix-tu-rs of IViamhi tioo from Administration 1 00 Application for latter* of Dtomls aion from Guardianship ... 3V> Application for leave W aell l.antl 4no Notice to Debtor* and Creditor* 3 3<> Kal<‘» of personal or perishable ipropertv, per square of ten line* ... 1 30 Sale* of land*, not exceeding flf teen Hnea ........ i! * tteKturrV lVr levy -••••• Mortgage sale*, ten line* or leas.. 5 « Tax Collector * mlc, per square 30« ClAßMt'a--Fona lowtre of Mortva gm and other Monthly adwttte ■tnente, ft ner square of ten lino* for each Insertion . „ Annonneemi nt county ( andidato* Bno Announcement district candidate* 18 00 For a man advertising hia wife, in advance -.-•••••• 3 00 egr Sale* of Und, by AdminlMtator*. F.xacutnni or Guardian*, are required bj Uw to bo held on the first Tuesday in the •h, on lit, between the hottrsof ten in the lore noon and tiirve in *h< sfternooii at the court hsu*' in the county in which the pniurriv is situated. - . * Notices ot these mV* roust be given In a i public gazette 40 daysiwcrious to the day ol 3:S2'£ J3S*WS*' ° to Jfehtor* a«d ftred'itor* of an es tate roust sl*o V published -to day* Notice* that appiicalionwill I** roa*l«M" the Court of Ordinary lor ***** f t mV must he published fro four week. Citation* on letter* of adminlatralhm. YJuardianahlp, Ae„ must be publishedid" dr* for dismission from administration Monthly three month*. 8w dismhdou from guardianship 40 day* Kulea tor tiro foreclosure of Mortgages must be publish'd monthly for four month* Tor establishing h»t l*»P<r*. for tiro full misaec of Uw roootha—tor compelling «*■- from Executors or Administrators, Where Iwind ha* bee n given by the deceased, the lull spa"' »f three month* ..... , Sheriff's sale# tuuat be published for four "Publications will always be conltaued.se vording to these, tiro legul requirements, un lc*s other* l*t ordered. Municipal and County Officers. tows cotacii. .tfrasr. John I.atdl'T Clerk und ?wieo«r, E. A Bun h. Mir.hoi. M I. Dudley. U»i*WM'ri, Drf n. folding, a « Hramblrtt. A Stnronski, E A. Burch, M O'Brien, J IVatson wrr.nion cotwr. Judge, J K. Alexander Mteib/r Ofneral, O. Beunet. Clerk, E A Burch. OTHER COUNTY OKKICKn* Juliet of the /Veter, A. A. Lowe * broner. Deceased ffteriff, Nicholas KawtilW. Odmtrf. J 4 Sparrow Pr*tma*trr, W D King Count, t*r*r>r, .lame* llarUev CvrLnt, Trwmrtr, E. B. UHhWt TarJtrrr'rrr, Wm McKinney 71a* (Mieetor, B B. Johnson Business Cards- ABTOST C. PATE. LAWtttKrtS t BTAS PATE &C, PIYT^ISr ATTOBBETB AT LAW, ft A WKINBVILLE OEOIIOIA WILL practice in tiro counties of Pu laski, Houston.Dooly, Wilcox, Irwin the rooms fbrmerlv occttpleo by Juelge Scarborough. dec 88-ls. Law Card,. Charles c. kibBRK wlliprwttrola twem efssTOs*? c f v h v!irs.wi; !r»in ti»<i Coff»€ of the "g* •ticwdto «nv b«»tn«dfi to him la J. WATSON, Attorney at Law, HA WKINSVILLE, GA. dec 88-ts A. T. BURKE, Attorney at Lavr, Hawkinsvillc. Oa. OFFICE on Commerce Street, where he will he found except when absent r<a profession and burine. 1 - 4ce « u HAWKIJVSVILLE, GA., THURSDAY, SEPTE3IBER 23, 1869. 1 AX DYING. The husband who can read the fellowring without feeling tiro mist taut gathering in Via eyes, is simply harder hearted than we are liaise mv pillow, husband dearest— Faint and fainter comes nty breath, Vnd these shallows stealing alowly, Bust, 1 kti6w. be those of death. Bit down dose beside mo darling, Iwt me c'.vxp your warm, strong hand, Yours that ever has sustained me To the borders of this la! and. •for ybur f}6d End mine—our Father— Thenoe shall ever lead the Oil, Where upon a throne eternal, SLa jfignwn and only tiua I've limhvftHlhi* hnd been dfeKhiihg Oir tiro past of Joy and pain; Year In-year i ve waiuh-rei. backward. Till ! was a child again. Dreams of girlhood, and the moment When I stood your wile and bride, llow my heart thrilled with lore's triumph, In that hour of woman's pride; Dreamed of thee and all the oailb Cifrfis Firmly twined around rtiy heart Oh! the hitler, burning anguish, When first I knew we nttut pari. It has pa**«*d—and (Ted has pfOtifSsfcd All tiiv footsteps to stteml, He dial's more than friend or brutiror, lie'll be wilh you to the end. There’s no shadow o'er the portals Lea ling to my heavenly home; Christ has promised life immortal; And 'tia Ms that bids me come. When life's trials wait around thee, i And its chiming billows swell, Tbou'll thank Heaven that I'm spared them, Thou'll then feel dial “all is well.” Bring our boy* ttnlo my bedside My last blessing* let thim keep— But they are (leaping, do not wake them. They'll learn soon enough to weep. Tell them often of tiroir mother. Kiss them for mo when they wako, Leati lfe*f* genllv in life's pathway, Lore them doubly for my nakc. V usp my liand still closer, darling, This, the last day of nty life, For w morrow I shall never* Answer when you eallnie 44 w fe." Fare dice well, my noble I;tshiftd, Faint nnt’neatii this chastening rod, Throw strong arm around your cliil- Kcep them Aose Vo —ami thvl At K4IKH Till! HIVLK. nr tier ~Mtro<i When for me the silent oar Parts the Hiient Hirer, And I stand u|*on the shore Os die strange Forever, Khali I miss the loved and known? Shall 1 vaiuly seek mine own? 'Mid the WVftwA that come to meet Spirits sin-forgiviii— Listening to their echoing feet Down tin- streets of heaven— Shall I know a footstep near That 1 listen, wait for, here? Then will one approach tiro brink With a hand extruded, One whose llioughts 1 loved to think Kr« the veil was readed, Saying “Welcome! we have died, And again are vide by side.' 1 Maying, “I will go w ith Ihec, Tirol thou be not lonely, To yon hills ol mystery; 1 have wailed only l.'iitil now, to climb with iheo Yonder lulls of mystery." Can die bonds that make tl* here Know ourselves luiiuwrtnf, Drop away, like fbliage sear, At life's inner portal? What is holiest below Must forever live and glow 1 shall love the angels well, After I have found them In tiro mans oua where they dwell, With die glory round them. But at firat, without surprise, Irf-t me look in human eyes. &ep by step our feel Must go Up the holy mountain ; Drop by drop within us flow Life's unfeiting fountain. Angels sing with crowns that hunt; We shall have a song to learn lie who on our earthly path Bid* us help each other— Who hi* Well Beloved hath Made our Elder Brother- Will but clasp the chain of lova Closer when we meat above. Therefoie dread I not to go O’er tiro silent ltiver. Death, thy hastening oar I know; Dear me, thou Life-giver, Through the waters, to the shore, Where mine own have gone before! gy A dandy inquired at a fruit suaT “Are these apple* lit for bogs to eat*” “Try 'em and see,’’ wud the woman, jt-N" Slander* are like fees that leap over all a man’s good part*, to light only upon bis sores. fF At what time wa* Adam mar- Tied! Upon hi* wedding Kve From the Atlanta Constitution. Prison Life to Camp Do us In*. FRBPACi. This narrative of life in a Northern pri*ou is restricted rigidly to facts that are well known to thousands witnesses, to some of whom almost all reader • may readily refer. The object is to circulate truth, challenge est-or, mid, by iuviting in vestigation, promote the cause of right and the integrity of history. Many know the truth already, but very many more do not. The writer will tell the truth in his own way. If some details seem tedi ous at first, as the subject progresses, it is hoped that it will be seen that most of them were essential to a due comprehension of what follows. This wx/ogy tyt necessity Htali initial ftoge*.' If any of the p/fxvs seem redundant to the Editor, he can light his pipe therewith; if any seem un profitable to the reader, he can skip litem, until awakened interest turns him back to theifl. Tiie darkest object on which the sun shines has its brightest, as well as its blackest side. There was & bright hide, eVt-n tn Caiftp Douglas, and fcfr partiefilar Tcasoflh, 'the bright side will t»i presented first. Those who can anticipate interest and the vindication of truth only in details of the horrors of the subject, ettfi T* ! >* dft to ‘the later papers. TUB fit ISO y. Camp Douglas became a Federal prison of note, when its gates were thrown ojxjii to the Conic derate gar tivoir, caplnrud at Fort Donelsotr. It wussiluatud on the western shore of Lake Michigan, in the outskirts of the city of Chicago. The general character of that locality is a sandy level. Camp Douglas was a few average acres—very level and very sandy. On the 4tli of October, 1868, the prison contained, to wit: The bulk of Morgan’s command, about 8,500 men ; the late garrison of Cum berland Gap, 1,500 to 1,800 pten; the Chickamatign prisoners, 1,000 to 1,100 men, and two small squads, mere handfuls, long known upon the rolls and otherwise, p* the “Uhl Squad," and the “Saint Louis Squad.” Oh the ißd of the same month, the! writer wa* detailed by the commissary of prisoner*, ('apt. L. C. Übines, to tsikc vbntgje of tln-prison jlecord of book in which the reports were Mi tered daily—its face wa* a journal history of the prisoners—arrivals, es cajxro, admissions to-, And discharges from the hospital*, deaths, etc.; ami front it the ration lists were drawn off., On the 31st of October, the writer entered in hi* mcmoraftduni book the | footing of the total aggregate ft bich he hu 1 just made up, for whom rations were to be drawn next dAy. In that memorandum-, now l»clV»re him-, the figiircn arc A,6(18 alive and present, to be fed. Tin- rolls, made up less than six weeks before, called for 6,306, nearly a decrease, in so short a time, of uismt ten per cent Many had escaped, but even at that early period, death bad already la-gun it's silent work among us. , . At that time the prison wao laid off iu four squares, the barracks of each facing inward. They were built upon aand, with plank floor*, roofs and walls, and between the windows on each ship, blocks of bunks in three tiers, six in a block. Behind each barrack was a kitchen building, like the former, except that many of the floors were earthen, und iu lieu of bunks there were long counter-like table*. The prisoners were quartered iu three of the squares, the fourth lieing reserved for the Federal prison. Thu South-east square was popularly called the “While Oak,” la-cause it con tained the notable “White Oak Dun geon.” This was a small, compact cell, for close confinement—a prison within a iiriaou TL- •»*—*■* * enclosed by an irregular plank fence about ten feet high, ami with traverse girder* on the inner side. Such was Lamp Douglas, in October, 1863. IMPROVEMENTS. The first military necessity urged upon the authorities was the construc tion of a more secure fence. The old one wa* comparatively low, and the cross girders Just now spoken or, afforded facilities for escalade. Daring men were constantly going over, tiuder cover of darkness, and regardless of the sentinels; Anew wull was soon erected. It was of boards set upright, measuring fourteen feet flora the ground to the parapet. This temporarily barred tiie system of Dee exit by scaling, but the Yankee love for lucre came bravely to the rescue. Bribery was enlisted, a timely and fbrmidable ally. Tbe price of a ticket over or through the barrier advance 4 l from ten to twenty dollars. By vigilaut measures the authorities sought to withhold the means of bribery. When money came for the prisoners, the letter examiner turned it over to the cashier, whose duty it wa* to give the parties equal credit, and send down the let ters, or notice* of the arrival of remit tance*. A large per-centagc of the money sent to prisoner* was never beard from by them. The redponai- bllity of.the appropriation * us diYl&ed Uusltier and Examiners, stud the pm'pL.ycve% the Post-olllcc and Expose. * Large Ittifil? pasaed, through tho handk ot me Cashier. A single state ment wil indicate it. When the Marme B «k of Otiiengo failed, on. hundred IkuKuand dollar# in U. N. Treasury ---tes, la-longing to Camp Douglas jf /i-ooers, were jpelndcd among utinuF* of that in hI itution. here were features con nected wtUi dm disappearance Os liuU large smil t ruuttey uidlattcring to tbo credit the parties who lteUCtho cash in truA: but as this i* A rficfri and of csmblisfcti.Aud well known trttth only, Kin fit* tli-.- place to introduce a cire\«isi*uti»l probability. The I facts w- ’orison ft»ud vms tasted bo p.i..*’-. 1 -t'go iMVti snfwhich ■was the Heatlqtutricis office to albln a safe repository for tho money jf the prisoners. The prison ers pale for tire security, and whet! the saitl bank failed, were surprised to learn that the entire capital had gone, witli it* irrecovoraTO deposits. In liel of tho cash sent to them, the prinoflei's received tickets on the gntlfr, -a »o alone could cash them at Readqnarters. TomH'Other Federal*, they tvery as valueless as so much phsteboari. Good, loyal greenbacks, like the merfr, were contraband, and for tho ief-Narae reason, because the Yankee luted them. But, ili-tdie every precaution. Fed eral currency reached tho liand* of . prisont'tfe khroOgh diVcrs channel*. It could It: bought daily “on change" for tiekett Or Confederate mouoy, nt 6 stated pKUtium. A single ktkLtftofl will illustrate tv it bon t w (trying. The father of one of Morgmi's tippling soldiers, canto to ChicitlrL tßp|lt hi* ndfellkrts soft iH hte rr.ibiot li.nc. The rigorous law* of the prnon denied them flic privi lege of Interview, ntuj to obtain sattsfaetioa in some sort, tiie boy bribed a letter through the under ground toltlk The sirftj perused the IreuHonabic docunient, hi* eyes spark ling bohiua his spectacles. He forth | with issuqtl Kpecinl directions to a l trusty maker, and 111 a few day* the Computminnt received two boxes ' of eigari, one of prime Havana, und the other of an np|«roclably inferior grade ami flavor—Utcsc with a polite note, askitig him to smoke one box gmiltenw in flf humor,the Cflohol could not find it in hi* heart to deny a request so con siderately couched. Having an eye for a good cigar, he laid by the best box, and Kent the other down. I This wft-t precisely a* the sagacious ! yoVttli hid prognosticated. The same 1 night he look his cigars to bed with him, and there, from beneath the 1 wrap|wrs, extracted a bountiful su|>- ply of legal tender. On the following night he Joined his father on the lute train for Detroit and Canada. One of the pr- tty bills had moved the conipuseion of a loyal sentinel, who, iu a paroxysm of good feeling, ordered arms, and “ItOostcd" young gentleman over the parapet-. But, in thu way of bribery Stood Iwogi im dhtgon*, which the rebels had te) face. Their names were Fear and Cunning. The firht. was tbe Yankee dread of detec tion, and to save punishment, for in the official eye it was a gfoss derelic tion t)f July for a common guard to receive a rebel bribe, aud tho rigor of this creed bad a tendency to fortify tho “boys in blue” against tlwir innnto wenknes-l toward tho gredsy portrait of their honored President. On the other hand, Cunning pointed to what seemed, U> some of their astute minds, n safe ami easy passage between the Bcylfax of their love for money, and the (Jharvbdis of their fear of punish ment. It wa* to negotiate freely, pocket tiie bribe, Uion level a loaded musket *t the middle button of the ‘ifthf^b complained that the hriltc had lieen accept' and, and his story was believed, it would seem a capital “Yankee j trick,” meritorious, perhaps, of pro motion to a Corporalship. ’ Thus, it soon came about, that certain of the guards, who had never been w-duced by this syren song, monopolised the business. Another demonstration that ‘‘•Uonenhj in the best jjolicy •” Sißney Harrington. A P.kxeipr Worth One Thousand Dollars.— The Ohio Cultivator say* ( the following receipe is worth one j thousand dollar* to every housekeeper: Take one |>oand of sal soda aud half R pound of bnslacked lime and put them In rt gallon of water, boll twenty minutes, fct it stand tiil cool, then drain off and put in a small jug ot jar j soak your dirty clothes overnight; or until they are Wet through, then wring them, and rub on fiiehty of soap, and ill one boiler of clothe* well covered with water add one teacupful of tbe washing fluid ; t>oil half an hour briskly, then wash them thoroughly with some suds; rinse; and your clothes will look beltcf than by the old way of washing twice before boiling. This is an invaluable receipe, fti-.d overy poor, tired vouun should try it. Augusta Currripumlcate. Aiot-STA, Ga., Sept. 18, 1869. Dkaii Botru.v—Since tin- date of niy lost leller to you, I have been. ''sloshing around” Jfcbrrrffly, tn tltb Hcpc'l C securing among the millions of unoccupied acres in our State, a small “patch" on which to settle down, and, by a manly, vigorous effort to culUrnto tiro soil, mist- my own bread-stuffs, make my ow n surguni, lay my oivu eggs, and—be at peace witii all the world “and the rest of mankind.” It may be dial I hare found the coveted spot, aud if nht thwarted In my present plans (not very extensive, however,) hope soon to be domicilled in dtc quiet couutry—not Very far from the City's bustle hfifl hum, but tuflUflcntiy removed fi-nrft the banttWl In fluences of its hearliessuess to be constantly surrounded by tho varied and varying beauties of nature, and die never-ceasing and Imnsonloiis operations other laws —Then is an evident disj>osidon among the masses to favor the New Party move ment, which for some weeks past liafi been so freely di-sfeweil by our political journal •. aud 1 think tffrre can be but litdc doubt that Issues will arise in the next Congress that will greatly tu-celerate tbe sell stag. WiUt the exception of the leaders if aie Democratic party In Georgia, aH i.re be ginning to acknowledge that that party, as a National organization, is powerless for owl, aud secifi wilting, tvhen Hie properg time arrive*, to unite widi any new organ ization that promises to meet living issues that concern tin: South and accomplish the gteKlcst good to a people who arc so much iu need of gmal dredta The South holds tiie balance of jsiwer, und, by prudent management, tnay hereafter command all site wants. It is doubtlerit true that, as far ss Ueotgla is eomWncd, the Derrto cratic parly was never more thoroughly and effectively orgnnized than at prewni; and It Is Nvf-T, that It Is no, Tor as surely as “gnu's iron'’ urgent reasons exist why the i rhik people of every community In the State should 1«- ftilly prepared to act ns a unit at very short notice. 1 would not, therefore, advise its disintegration here until such time as It may Ik effected wilh entire safety to tho best interests of the Slate aud the security of iu citizens. Yet, as there to no ho;*: for tbo Bot rit through the organization of a patty whTr h Is shorn of all power to heal existing issues, and however reluctant to sink the (to many ) hallowed name of Democrat, I think the de-termination wisely take ft to encourage die formation of a New Party—composed w ill meet Urn exigencies of the time*, and restore to our oppressrol people the blessings of Peace and Political Free dom. —Some of yottr cotemporaries deny .with an apparent air of authority, that there will be any effort by the next Legislature to impeach Governor Bullock. 'I his may bo tiie determination of politicians, who care more for the success of their own self ish schemes than for the honor and happi ness of the people; but If it Ih* not done, and done effectually, recusant legislators will Ik deemed unworthy tho continued confidence of an honest constituency. —The Ka<l trail RWpuMfcans hereabouts affect to believe that the negroes expelled from die Legislature aliout a year ago w ill be restored to their seaU item. tan. at the ensuing swsion In this Uicy betray a de plorable Ignorance of the rights aud tem per of Uieir Democratic fellow-members; or they llius express themselves in order to arouse Lite hopes, that they may hereafter the more easily excite die |w*sioiis, ot the negroes. —lt is uot Improvable lliftt, rtext to Int |H-achnient, tiro question of Public Educa tion will he the leading measure of Interest before tiro next General Assembly. lam of opinion, however, that iu view of tho depleted condition of the State’s treasury, and the present largo class of non produc ing and non tax paying negriros, the mem ban w ill not deem it practicable to provide lor any very liberal system, at least for several years to come. In die meantime, whynot adm-t Jbc this city? It seems to bo so entirely feasi ble and’ ehrieUanbin, a* 16 commend it to all true Christians of every denomination, as well as to enlightened Mama and Odd Fettoic* everywhere in die Slate. 1 give the plan in Ida own words, aa follows (aids j •• Bonner of the South,” August 88): " Wt beg leave to vuggeat the following ! modes, each of which is bur, just, reason- *lffd Iu own bus. nc*s, and keep ito fingers out of Ute uues tion of education; and let parents, of them selves, without Htste «ft. aftron.! or not at tend to tiie education of their off: prong it some persons be too poor, creole a pauper fund lor them. , . ••9d. Let each religious detroojination. without State aid, educate the childroft or tiieir meabers. This wm/d save the B**te from responsibility and cx|iense. Besides, it would soon sellle the vexed question as to which of all tho churches is the best Iriend of education. “ 3d. If tiro State taxes tiie people for ed ucational purposes—though H ha* not the right to do so— distribute tlu: ftutds In. Just, proportion among Ibe Various denomtna tianV This Wonfd aave tbe State much trouble. Bcsidre, it would prove Which of uli tiie denomination* is most bonest I “4th. Let tiro present mode of education in Georgia Ik continued; and for uniform ity sake, withdraw the exceptional pririle geEenjoyed by the Savannah and Chatham .County School Board. . | “ Here are four systems—fair snd honest —to either or all of which not half the ob -1 lections can be made that we can urge against the general common school system of the North.-r the exceptional system 1 istahtisbed in Savannah Cvaul'T. NO. 39. Josh Billinob on the Mule.—The mulo is half hoss and half jackass, and then kuins to a lull »top, uatur diskuvaring her mistake. Tha wey more akording to there heft, than eny uther kreetnr, except a krovrlqir. kant hear enny quicker nor further then‘the boss, yet tharc ears gLTv big enttff for snow shoes. Ydix Ren trust them with enny one whose life aint mirth enny more than the mule’s. The only way to keep them in a pos ter is to turn them into the uiodder jining anti let them jump over Thn arc reddy for use just aa sunc as tha will do to abuse. Thn haint got any frieftdff, and will live on hftkleberry brush with An okkiwional clianseat Kannada this*ul«.. v 'J’ha are a modern in.venshunf. 1 don't think tho bihle elude* to them at all. Tha sell for more money than enny other domcstick anitnile. You kant tel three *gc by looking into tlmrefuouths, »ay more than you koud a Mexican Jtannon’s. Tha newer hev any dis ease that good klub wout cure. If they ewer die tha kutu rite tc life ■ again, for I newer heard nobody say “ded mule.” Thu are like sum men, “verry korrupt at barte." I’ve known them to bt- good inti los frfrsiv muntlis, jest to get a chance to kick Miiubody. I newer owned one, nor newer mean to, unless there is a United States lafir past requiring it. • ~> Theouly why thanrupashent ft Irocnn* tha are nahamed of them selves. I have seen eddicated mules in a sirkus. Enny mart Who is williti to drive a mule, ought to be exempt by law from rftuuiu for the legislature. Th'ft are the *trange* kYeetcVs oh earth, ami hcvicfft according to their sire. 1 herd tel oT oftc \vlto fel opli from the tow-path on the kannl and mink a* he teched water, but he kept rite on towing the bote to the stashun, breuthin thru hifl ears, which stuck out of the water about three feet six indies. 1 didn’t *ee this, but an auc tioneer told of it, aud I never knew of an auctioneer to tc! a lie unless it was abHolutcly convenient. I Wouldn’t MaArv a Mechanic.— A young man began Visiting a young woman, and Ajntented lo lot well pleased. One evening he called when it was quite late, which led the young girl to inquire where he had been. “I had to work to-uight.” “What! do you work for a living!” Certainly,” man, “I ant a mechanic.” “I dislike the name of a meellattfft,” and she turned up her pretty nose. That was tiie last time the young man Visited tho young woman. He i* now a wealthy man, and has one of the best women in the country for a wife. Tin- lady who disliked the name of a mechanic is now the wife of a mis erable fool, a regular vagrant about grog shops; and the soft, verdant and miserable girl is obliged to take in washing in order to support hertcir and children. You dislike the name of a mechanic, eh ? Y’ou, whose brothers are but well dressed loafers. Wc pity any girl who has so little brains, who is so verdant, so soltj as to think less of a m”n for being ft mechanic—one of (ioti’s noblemen the most dignified and liotibhible personage of Heaven’s creatures— ! Beware, young lady, how you treaL young men who work for ft living, for yob may one day be menial to oue of thc-in yourself. Don’t I’ut the Hay Too IDon.—A I transcendental preflehet- took for his j text “ Feed my lambs.” A plain fanner very quaintly remarked to him, on coming out of the church. “A very good text, sir; but you should toko cate not to put the liny so high in the ruck that the lambs can’t reach it!” A KTB6LE—will consent to all you desire,’’ said u facetious lady to her lover, “on condition that you give me what you have not, what you never can have, and yet what you can give me ” What did she ask for t A husband. Enthusiasm. —l-s»te|y hu enthusi astic hunter of antograpbs, resolving to have the signature of a distin guished poet, took up his bill for twenty pounds, held in despair by his tailor. , ifsr So—ft is very pleasant to ride in an omnibus opposite a baby who is sucking sugar candy, and pluyffdlV wipes his dear little hands on your best black unmentionables. .Sick in EJarnebt.-tA man com plained to his doctor that he stuffed him so much with drugs tliat he was sick a long time alter he got well. Gory Echo.— The mau who heard a call from “the voice of glory” waited ; for the echo. It was “gory,” so ho resolved to stay at home. tgP'An Irish woman, who was quarreling wilh her husband the other day, said he was “a nuisance that I needed » bating.” Os When does a lawyer act falacly ’ When b< makes on action lie.