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GWINNETT herald. PUBLISHED *VBRY WEDNESDAY, BY PEEPLES & YARBROUGH. TVLER M. rEEPLES, Editor. bates of subscription.^ “ .nVcribers, ..a p r zj&sLS'tia-'* legal advertisements. staid 6 00 Mortgage fi fa sales, F 1 „ .. 500 Tax Collector s 3 00 Letters of admmist rat cre j i{org _ 5 00 Jgfe S Sf land, per square *““ Letters of dism.ss.OD. ... 4 00 Application for homestead 2 00 Kstray notices d ou Sales of land, by administrators, executors or guardians, are required by law to be held on the first luesday in the month, between the hours of ten in the forenoon and three in the afternoon, at jbe Court-house in the county in wh.ch the pro[*rty is situated. . Notice of these sales must be given in » public gazette 40 days previous to the daT of sale. . Notice to debtors and creditors of an estate must also be published 40 days. Notice for the sale of personal proper ty must be given in like manner, 10 days previous to sale day. Notice that application will be made to the Court of Ordinary for leave to sell land must be published for four weeks. Citations on letters of administration, cnardianship, Ac., must be published 30 days - for dismission from administration, monthly, three months; for dismission from guardianship, 40 days. Kales for the foreclosure of mortgages must be published monthly, four months ; for establishing lost papers, for the full space of three months; for compelling titles from executors or administrators, where bond has been given by the de ceased, the full space of three months. Sheriff’s sales must be published for four weeks. Estray notices, two weeks. Publications will always be continued according to these, the legal requirements, unless otherwise ordered. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. SAM. J. WINN. \VM. B. SUMMONS. WINN & SIMMONS. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Lawkf.ncevii.lk Georgia. Practice in Gwinnett and the adjoining counties. mar 15-1 y NATHAN I. HUTCHINS, OARNKTT M'MIIXAN, lawrenceville, Ga. Clarksville, Ga. iiutchins 4- McMillan , ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Offices at Lawrcncevilleand Clarksville. Practice in the counties of the Western Circuit, and in Milton and Forsyth of the Itlue Itidge. mar 10-ly J. N. GLENN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, LiWIIENCEVILUC, GA Will promptly attend to all business entrusted to his care, and also to Land, Bounty and Pension claims mar 15-6 m TYLER ~M. PEEPLES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. Practices in the counties of Gwinuett, Hall, Jackson and Milton. Pension claims promptly attended to mar 15-6 m DRS. T. K. & G. A. MITCHELL, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA., Respectfully tender a continuation of their professional services to th*e citizens generally. Keep constantly on hand a good assortment of drags and chemicals. Prescriptions carefully prepared, mar 15-ly A. J. SHAFFER, M. E)., PHYSICIAN and surgeon, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. mar 15-6 m T. G! JACOBS, SURGEON DENTIST, Being prepared to practice his profes sion in all its branches, informs the citi- and vicinity that he wi I be at his office in Lawrenceville from e oth to the 18th of each month. By prompt attention to business, and reason , ( prices, he hopes to secure a liberal patronage. *3®" All work warranted. mat'22ly B - P. ROBE RT S~ Attornet at Law, ALPIIARETTA, GEORGIA, l • attend to all business entrusted to in t| Ure ln 'l 10 Ri^g e circuit; also the {'.. Cottnt ' e 8 of Hall and Gwinnett of the M estern circuit Connected with Col. If. 11. Walker n. . Land Warrants and cam the United States V'vtrnmeiU. June U-C»m AIR-LINE MOUSE, Street, near the Car Shed, ATLANTA, GA. **■ KE ITII, - - Proprietor, f Meal, or Lodging, 50 Cents. au g 10-ts Weekly Gwinnett Herald. T. M. PEEPI.ES, PROPRIETOR ] Vol. I. When You’re Down. When legions of “friends” always bless us, When golden success lights our way, How they smile as they softly address us, So cordial, good-humored and gay. But oh! when the sun of prosperity Is set —then quickly they frown, Ami ci y uul til tones or severity, Kick the man! don’t you see he’s down! What thoHgh you know not a sorrow, Y our heart was os open as day, And your “friends,” wheu they wanted to borrow, You’d oblige—and ne’er ask them to pay? What though not a soul you e’erslighted, As you meandered about through the town, Your “friends” become very near sighted, A nd don’t seem to see to y ou when down. Whe you’re “up” you are loudly exalted, And traders all sing out your praise; When you’re down you have greatly de faulted, And they really don’t fancy your ways. Your style was ‘tip top’ when you’d money, So sing every sucker and clown; But now ’tis exceedingly funny, Things arc altered because you are down. • Oh, give me the heart that forever Is free from tbe world’s selfish rust, And the soul whose high, noble endeavor Is to raise the fallen man from the dust; And when in adversity ’s ocean A victim is likely to drown, All hail to the friend whose devotion Will lift up a man when he’s ‘ down.’’ From the N. Y. Journal of Commerce. Prices of Cotton. We have been frequently asked to give the prices of cotton for some past period, and it is evident that a table setting forth tbo highest and lowest points reached by this great staple during a series of years would possess ro little interest for a large circle of readers. We have there fore compiled, with much care, the annexed exhibit, extending from 1825 to the dose of the current year, giving the highest quotation of mid dling cotton in this market, during the twelve months ending December 31st in each of the periods named. The lowest point it has reached for fifty years was iu the spring of 1845. We recollect the date most distinctly. A gentleman living in New Eng land had about four thousand dollars to bis credit in a Southern bank. He came to the writer and asked how it could be made available at his home, as lie could not buy a bill of exchange except at a high rats, and the bank notes were at a consideiable discount. We suggested the purchase of cotton as a remittance, remarking that it was lower than it had been before, or ever would be again in our time, lie made the purchase at or about four cents a pound, shipped it North, where it sold soon after arrival at or near nine cents a pound, thus more than doubling bis capital. lie it not living now, or we should take this occasion to remind him that he never said “thank you” for the advice that delivered him from liis dilemma. LOWEST AND HIGHEST PBICES OK MIDDLING UPLAND COTTON IN EaCH OF THE YEARS NAMED AT THE CITY OF NEW YORK. Lowest Highest Y’ear. price, price. 1825.. 13 27 1826.. 9 14 1827.. 8 12 1828.. 9 13 1829.. 8 11 1830.. 8 13 1831.. 7 11 1832.. 7 12 1833.. 9 17 1834.. 10 16 1835.. 15 20 1836.. 12 20 1837.. 7 17 1838.. 9 12 1839.. 16 1840.. 8 10 1841.. 9 11 1842.. 7 9 1843.. 5 8 1844.. 5 9 1845.. 4 9 1846.. 6 9 1847.. 7 12 1848.. 5 8 A Mount Vernon fire year old bearing bis mother remark in com pany that “she usually found her first impressions of people to be cor rect ones,” called out at the top of his voice: “Mamma, what were your pressions when you first seen me?”— The subject of conversation was im mediately changed. £9“ Are you near sighted Miss?” said an impudent fellow to a young lady who did not onco choose to notice him. * “Yes, at this distance I can hardly tel! whether you are a I*ig 0* » puppy” >♦♦ tegf There are birds who only make a noise at the approach of bad weather; and there are persons who only pour out a prayer when God’s chastening hand is upon then). «“The dearest spot on earth— The storo that don’t advertise. THE TEMPEST. BY GEORGE D. PRENTICE- I was never a man of feeble courage. There are few scenes of either human or elementary strife, upon which I have not looked with a brow of daring. I have stood in front of battle when swords were gleaming circling around me like fiery serpents of the air—l have sat on the mountain pinnacle, when the whirlwind was rending its oaks from rocky clefts and scat tering them piecemeal to the clouds. I have seen these things with a swelling soul that recked not of danger—but there is some thing in the thunder voice that makes me tremble like a child. I have tried to overcome this un manly weakness—l have moral courage in philosophy —but it avails me nothing—at the first low moaniugs of the distant cloud my heart sinks and dies within me. My involuntary dread of thun der, has its origin in an incident that occurred when I was a child of ten years. I had a little cousin —a girl of the same age of my self, who had beeu the constant companion of my childhood.— Strange that after the lapse of a score of.years, that coumenace is so familiar to me. I can see the bright, young creature —her large eyes flashing like a beautiful gem, her free locks streaming as in joy upon Hkj rising gale, and her cheek glowing like a ruby through a wreath of transparent snow.— Her voice had the melody and joy ousness of a bird’s, and when she bounded over wooded hill or the fresh green valley, shouting a glad answer to every voice of nature and clasping her little hands in the very ecstacy of young exist ence, she looked as if breaking away like a freed nightengale from the earth, and going oil' where all things were beautiful and happy like her. It was a morning in the middle of August. The little gill had been passing some days at my fa ther’s house, and she was now to return home. Her path lay across the fields, and 1 gladly became the companion of her walk. I never knew a summer morning more beautiful and still. Only one lit tle cloud was visible, and that seemed as pure and white, and peaceful, as if it had been the in cense from a burning censer of the skies. The leaves hung silent in the woods, the waters of the bay had forgotten their undulations, tbe flowers were bending their heads as if dreaming of the rain bow, and the whole atmosphere was of such a soft and luxurious sweetness, that it seemed a cloud of roses, scattered down by the hands of a Peri from the far-off gardens of a I'aTadise. The green earth and the blue sea were abroad in their boundlessness, and the peaceful sky bent over and bles sed Them. The little creature at my dido was in a delirium of hap piness, and her clear, sweet voice camejringing upon the air as ofteu as slit heard the tones of a favor ite bird,.or found some strange or lovely flower in her frolic wander ings, The unbroken and almost supernatural tranquility of the day continued until nearly noon. Tlien, for the first time, the indica tions of an approaching tempest were manifest. Over the summit of a mountain at a distance of about a half a mile, tbe folds of a dark cloud became suddenly visi ble, and at the same moment a hollow roar came down upon the winds, as it were the sound of waves in a rocky cavern. Ihe cloud unrolled like a banner-fold upon tbe air, but still the atmos phere was calm and the leaves as motionless as before; there was not even a quiver upon the sleep ing waters to tell of the coming hurricane. To escape the tempest was impossible. As the only resort, wo fled to an oak, that stood at the loot ot a tall, aud ragged precipice. Here we remained and gazed almost breathless upon the clouds, mar shalling themselves like bloody gi ants in the sky. The thunder was not frequent, but every burst was so fearful that the young creature, who stood by me, shut her eyes convulsively, clung with a desper ate strength to my arm, and shrieked as if her heart would break. A few minutes and the storm was upon us. During the height of its fury, tbe little girl lifted her finger toward the preci pice that towered above us. I looked up; an auiethcstiue flame was quivering upon its gray I.owest Highest Year, price, price. 1849.. 6 11 1850.. 11 14 1851.. 8 14 1852 ;. 8 10 1853.. 10 11 1854.. 8 10 1855.. 7 11 1856.. 9 12 1857.. 13 15 1858.. 9 13 1859.. 11 12 1860.. 10 11 1861...11 28 1862...20 68 1863.. 54 88 1864.. 72 1 90 1865.. 33 1 22 1866.. 32 52 1867.. 1868.. 16 * 33 1869.. 25 35 1880.. 15 25^ 1871.. 14*4 21^4 Ga., Wednesday, January 24, 1872. “ COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE! ” peaks, and the next moment tbe clouds opened,the rocks tottered to their foundation, a roar like the groan of a universe tilled the air, and I felt myself blinded and thrown I know not whither. llow long I remained insensible I can not toll; but when consciousness returned, the violence of the tem pest was abating ; the roar of the winds dying in the tree tops, and the deep tones of tiie thunder coming in faiutcr murmurs from the eastern hills. I arose, aud looked trembling and almost deliriously around. She was there—the idol of my in fant love—stretched out upon the wet, green earth. After a mo ment of irresolution, I went up aud looked upon her. The hand kerchief upou her neck was slight ly rent and a single dark spot on her bosom told where the path of death had been. At first I clasped her to my breast witli a cry’ of agony and then laid her down and gazed into her face almost with a feeling of calmuess. tier bright, dishevelled ringlets clustered sweetly around her brow, the look of terror had faded from her lips, aud an infant smile was pictured beautifully there —the red rose tinge upon her cheeks was lovely as in life, and as I pressed it to my own the fountain of tears opened, and I wept as if my head were waters. I have but a dim recollection of what followed—l only know that I remained weep ing and that I was taken tenderly by the band, and led away where 1 saw the countenance of parents and sisters. Many years have gone by on their wings of light and shadow, but the scene 1 have portrayed still come over me at times with a terrible distinctness. The oak yet stands at the base of the preci pice ; its limbs are black and dead, and its hollow trunk, looking upwards to the sky as if calling to the clouds for drink is an em blem of rapid and noiseless decay. A year ago I visited tlmt spot,and the thought of by gone years came mournfully back to me—thoughts of the little innocent being who fell by the whirlwind—in the mem ory that she had gone where no lightnings slumber in the fields of the rainbow clouds, and where the sunlit waters are never broken by the storm breath of Omipotcncc. . My readers will understand why I shrink in terror from the thun der. Even the consciousness of security is no relief for me—my fear has assu nod the nature of instinct, and seems, indeed, a part of my existence. Mania for Office. We doubt if there has been a time since the earliest giving of the laws, down to the present, that demonstrated such a thirst for of fice, as now to be found. We speak of it generally from the highest to the lowest official posi tions. Numbers of men, who in the “palmy days of the Republic” would as soon thought of playing the game that Joshua did with the sun as to have expected an impor tant office, now feel themselves qualified for any place. The result has been especially in the South, that our public places have filled almost entirely by ignorant imbeciles, and the laws upon the Statute Books are, in many instan ces, a disgrace to civilization. Corruption rules the day, and there is a general “hankering” af ter the solt places and flesh pots. It grows worse every year; spreading broadcast demoraliza ! tiou and trickery ; to be success- I ful is to understand "waya that are dark, and tricks that are vain,” i and have to form Constitutions, ! Cliques, and every deviltry that 1 Radical villainy and carpet-bag thievery has ever cursed this country with. These things ought not so to he. Our capitol is sur rouuded with an army of youug ! men, place hunters, while there is I no position that goes begging. ! Let all this sort of thing stop — ■ let the “office seek the man, and ' not the man the officelet every body go to work to earn an honest living by the sweat of their brow, and a brighter day will dawn upon i our glorious Sunny South. — Mid ! die Georgian. | ® tdr A very modest young lady | who was a passenger on board a ■ packet ship, it is said, sprang out of ; net berth and jumped over board on hearing the captain during a storm j order the mate to haul down the I sheets. The Newspaper Press. Rev. T. 1). W. Tnlnmgo, of Brook lyn, in a recent sermon, presented the following earnest stirring thoughts respecting the power and capabilities of the newspaper press. An instrue mentality of such vast influence as is this in our day slieuld l»o wielded by those who appreciat their moment ous responsibility, and employ it for the improvement and elevation of their fellow-men. The eloquent dis course is reported phonographically in the Methodist: “The newspaper it the great educa tor of the Nineteenth Cetury.— There is no force compared with it. It is book, pulpit, platform, forum all in one. Aud there is not an interest —religious, literary, comercial, scien tific, agricultural or inehcanieal—that is not within its grasp. All our churches, and schools, and colleges, and asylums, aud art galleries feel the quaking of the printing pres*. In our pulpits wo preach to a few hundreds or thousands of poople; the newspaper addresses an audience of twenty thousand, fifty thousand, or two hundred thousand. Wo preach tlireo or four times a week; they every morning or evening of the year. If they are right they are gloriously right; if they are wrong, they are aw fully wrong. I find no difficulty 'in accounting for the word’s advance. What lias made the change? “Hooks,”you say. No, sir. The vast majority of citi zens do not read books. In the Uni ted States the people would not aver age one book a year for each individu al. Whence then this intelligence—this capacity to talk about all themes, secular and religious, this acquain tance with science and art, this power to Che Bible, tho nowspapor —swift- winged and every where present — Hying over tho fence, shoved under tho door tossd into the oounting honse, laid on the woik bench, hawk ed |through the cars! All read it! White and black, German, Irishman, Swiss, Spaniard, Amorican, old and young, good and bad, sick and well, before breakfast and after tea, Mon day morning. Saturday night, Sunday and we»-k day. I consider tho noVspaper to bathe grand agency by which tho gorpel is to be preach ed, ignorance cast out. oppression dethroned, crime extripa. ted, the world raised, heaven rejoiced ami God glorfied. In the clanking of the printing press as tho sheets fly out I hear the voice of tho Lord Al mighty proclaiming to all tho dead nations of the earth, “Lazarus, come forth !’’ and to tho retroating surges of daikness, “Let there be light.” “Nations are to be born in a day.” Will this great in rush into tho king dom of God come from t lie personal presence of missionary or philanthrop ist ? No. When the time comes for that grand demonstration of the spirit I think the press in all the earth will make the announcement, and give the call to tho nalioas. As at some telegraphic centre, an operator will send the messages North, Smith, East and West, San Francisco and Heart’s Content catching tho (lash at the same instant; so, standing ai some centre, to which shall reach a.I tho electric wires that cross the continent and undergird the sea, some one shall, with the forefinger of the right hand click th? instrument that shall thrill through all lands, across all islands, under all sons, through all palaces, into all dungeons, and startle both hemispheres with ike news, that in a few moments shall rush out from the ten thousand times ten thousand printing presses of the earth : “Jesus hath come! Fall into line, all ye na tion ! Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good-will toward men ! Hallelujah !” Stick to the Fence. —For fifteen years daily, at Stanford, Connecti cut, a man has sit on the fence and watched every railroad train as it passed.— Ex. He is probably trying to make up liis mind if it would be safe to ride on the cars. Old fellow, yon stick to that fence! If the top rail is sharp, turn it over, or put a cushion on it. Fit up a smoking apartment on the next panel if you like, and rig a luxurious coach on to the next one to that’. Bring our your bag gage, tako a check for it, and bang it on a post. Bny a ticket and punch it yourself. A»k yourself the dis tance to the next station and get insulted. Secure, as your means w ill permit, all the luxuries of railroad travel, but don’t get off that fence to onjoy them. So shall you die a natural death, and tho good wito shall not expend the faun fighting the life insurance company over your old corpse. You’re iu the right o’ this thing, old rocstei! [|2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. How tn iMck Out a (Jowl Hosts, BY JOSII BIUJNGS. First—Eel tho color be a sorrel, a roan, a red, a gray, a black, a blue, a green, a chestnut, a brown, a dapple, a spotted, a cream, a buckskin, or some other good color. Second—Examine his cars ; see that lie haz got tew ears, and pound a fin pan class to him tu find out whether his hearing iz good.s.All houses are diim, but a dell and dum boss are not desira ble. Third—Look well tn his eyes; see that lie bus got a pupil in Ilia eyes, and not too largo a one nei ther; bosses with too large pupils in their eyes arc near-sighted, and can’t see oats, and have to wear green goggles, and green goggles make a boss look to much like n trakt peddler. Fourth—Feel ov his neck with the inside of your right hand ; see that the spinal collnm iz well fat ted, and runs the whole length ov him from fore to aQ. —a horse with out a phatt spinal collnm from fore to aft—ain’t worth —(speak- ing sudden) —ain’t worth u well defined euss. Five —1 nt yure hand on liiz breast, (this is allowable in the kase ov a quadriped ;) see if bis hartc kail beat TO; squeze bis loro leggs tu see if lie iz well muscled ; lift up liiz before f’ectand see it there iz enny frogs in them — hogs keep a bosses feat kool and sweet, jest az they du a wel or a spring ov water. Six—Look wel tu biz sliooze; see what number lie wares—num ber eight is about right. Seven —Run yure hand along the dividing ridge ov his withers tu the kpmmenscincut ov his tale (or dorsul yfertibra,) and pinch him az yu go along, tu sec if lie nosse how to kick. Eight—Look *ou his hind legs for some spavins, kurbs, windgalTs, ringbones, skratciies, quit tors, thrush, geese heels, thoroughpiiis, - spring halt, quarter-cracks ; sec es lie has got a vvliiil bone ; look for some pin hips; hunt lor strains ill the back tenders, let downs u»d capped hocks. Nine—lnvestigait hi# teeth; sen if lie ain’t fourteen years old larst May, with teeth filed down, and a six-yecr-okl black mark burnt intu the top uv them with a hot iron. Ten —Smell ov his breath tu see if ho liuint got sum glanders; look just back ov liiz ears lor signs of pole-evil; pinoli him on the top ov hi 7, withers for a fistula, and look sharp at both shoulders for a sweeny’. Eleven—Hook him tu a wagon that rattles, drive him tu an Irish man and his wheelbarrow ; meet a rag merchant with cow-bells strung across the top ov bis cart, lot an express train pass him at forty-five miles tu the hour; when he is swetty heave a buffalo robe over him tu keep oph the cold, ride him with an umbred higlialcd, and learn liiz opinyun ov these things. Twelve—Prospekt his wind, Bareli dilligently for the beeves, j ask of he iz a roarer, and don’t bo afraid tu find out es he iz a whis ller. Thirteen —Be sure that lie ain’t ; a kirbbiter, ain’t balky, ain’t a j weaver, and don’t pull at the baiter, j These arc a few simple things i tu be looked at in buying a good family boss ; there iz a great men ny other things tu be looked at (at your lezure) after you have bought him. Good bosses are skarso, and good men that deal in any kinds of bosses, are skavser. Ask a man all about bis wife, and he may tell yo. Examine his oluss fer a Sunday-school teacher, and you will find him on the square ; send him tu the New York Legislature, and rejoice that money won’t buy him j leud him seven hundred dollars in the high way, without a witness or a uote ; even swop dorgs with him with perfect impunity ; but when you buy a good family boss ov Jiiin, young, sound and trow, watch the i man cluss, and make up yure mind besides that you will hcv tu ask the Lord tu forgive him. “An honest man is the noblest work ov God.” This fatinms say ing was written, in grate anguish ov heart, by tho late Alexander Pope, just after buying a good family hoss. XST A Colorado store keeper so laces liis customers with FvNcKU 1 2-bakO. RAILS OF ADVERTISING. space 3 mo’s. 6 mo’s. 12 mo’s. 1 square 8 4 00 j 5 6 <>o $lO 00 2 #q'rs 600 JO 00 IA 00 3 Rqr'B SOO I 14 00 20 00 y oil. 12 001 20 00 30 00 % col. 20 00 I 35 00 60 00 one col. 40 00 * 75 00 lt'i* oo The money for advertisements is due on the first insertion. A square is the spnee of one inch in depth of the column, irrespective of tbe number of lines. Marriages and dentlis, not oxmding six lines, published free. For a man ad vertising Ids wife, and nil other personal mutter, double rutin will be charged. No. 42. Goaf by Leaf the Itoscs l’all. lent by loaf the roses fall, Drop by drop the springs run dry, One by one beyond recall, Summer beauties fade and die; But the rows bloom aguin. And iiie spring will gush nncw, In the pleasant April rain, And the sun and dew. Ho in the honrs of deepest gloom, When the springs of gludncss fail, Am? the rosis in the bloom Drop like maidens wan and pule; Wc slmll find hope: that fits. Like a silent gem apart. Hidden fur from careless eyes, In the garden of the heart. Some sweet hope to gluddcn wed, That will spring afresh and new, When griefs winter shall have Hrd, Giving place to ruin and dew— A sweet hope that breathes of spring, 'I hrough the weary, weary time, Budding for its blossoming In the spirit’s glorious clime. Locking up the old Folks. How a Kentucky Girl Munuyed an Elopement. From the Nashville Banner, Dec 24, A lather romantic lunaway affair occurred at Franklin, Kentucky, early cu Fiiday evening. The father ot a certain }onng lady of that place had lefosed to give his consent to her marriage, and had treated her lover with g-oat bareness, on account, it ia alleged, of liis being poor. But though loie docs not, in most in stances, run particularly smooth, nothing can prevent two happy hearts fioin uniting their destinies for better or for worse, whenever the owners so resolve. To make our story brief, a plan was concocted by which the pair were to run dawn to Mitchellvillo, just this side of the State line, where arrangements had been made tbe day previous with a magistrate to perforin the ceremony. The feud ’couple appeared at tho depot «t Franklin shoitly after five o’clock on tho morning mentioned. It having been suggested by some unfeeling wag that they might jiossi -Itrj.be oyotiHMUi ny lier "irate JaTfier7 and their hlhsful hopes blasted nt the very moment of realization, tho bridegroom became considerably de moralized, but was soon reassured by his pluckier companion, who coolly remarked, “I don’t see how ho can; I really don’t, lie lives three miles from here, Rnd if he comos ho will have to walk. He can’t make' tho distance afoot before tho arrival and departure of the train. I foresaw the danger of such a denouement last night ami made my arrangements accordingly. I went to the stables, hid all the bridles, locked the doors and throw the keys away. When I left home this morning mother and father were asleep. 1 quietly turned lire key on them aud threw it away loo.” It need hardly be said that her cxnlunation was highly satisfactory. The train rolled in at 5:57, the love s jumped aboard, and were married at 6:20 at Mitchellvil’o, on tho arrival of the train at that place. The gill was certainly worth the trouble of winning, but we have a notion that if her husband tries to kick out of the matrimonial traces tho keys w ill Oo turned on him, too, some of these days. jtir The latest device for break ing up a setting hen is to put a couple of lumps of ice in the nest. £#* Fanny Fern tells of an aged female who thought she was “us young as Hheevcr was, and as handsome as she never was.” EW What is the difference Ikv tween a fool and a looking-glass ? One Bpeaks without reflecting and the other reflects without speaking. - #fegr“N ame the longest day iu the year,” said a teacher to a young hopeful of five summers. “Sunday!” responded the little man. IST An item in a lawyer’s bill to liis client ran thus : To lying awake at night thinking over your case forty-five dollars. <»>i A clcngyman named Fiddle “respectfully declines” the degree of I>. D. because, as said he real ly did not wish to be known as tho Rev. Fiddle D. D. it, old fellow,” said two idle scajHj graces to an honest la ; borer at work—“ Work away while we play—sow and we’ll reap ” “Very likely, my lads,” replied the man coolly ; “I’m sowing , hemp.” Subscribe to the Herald