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herald.
L BUl aisi» EVERr WEDKESDAY ’ BY
[pEKPLES & YARBROUGH.
lyiEU M. rEEPLES, Editor,
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IrFdAL ADVERTISEMENTS. _
ojj
fcs£iwr.f»- v - 3 00
■ ::: * $
■ve to sell snn
■of land, per square 5 00
■ers of dismission..... * "
Klication for homestead 2 00
K,v notices - ■■■..•• 6 uu
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■t-/"..- dimrilians, are required by
■ beheld on the first Tuesday in the
K between the hours of ten in the
E u and three in the afternoon, at
■c oar t.|iouse in the county in which
■,. jner tv is situated.
■otireof these sales must be given in
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Bo'ice hi debtors and creditors of an
■;,;also be published 40 days,
■olw for the sale of personal proper
■.,.tgiven in like manner, 10 days
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Htice that application will be made
B| ie c o art of Ordinary for leave to
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s on letters of administration,
■ Ac . must be published 30
H for dismission from administration,
three months; for dismission
■guardianship, 40 days.
f,, r tl;e f.M'ecb'sure of mortgages
Hj. published monthly, four months ;
Hublisbing lost papers, Dor the full
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H bond has been given by the de-
Sp.ilir full space of three months.
sales must be published for
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notices, two weeks.
will always be continued
t» thw the legal requirements,
ordered.
■OFESSIONAL CARDS.
■ wins. WM. K. SIMMONS.
Bl N X & SIMMONS,
fl UTOUXEY3 AT LAW,
■ 3XCF.VII.LE, O EOItGI A.
in Ciwiimett and the adjoining
marlo-ly
I. lIITCIIiXS, GARNET'! m'MIU.AX,
nceville, (la. Clarksville, Ga.
S 7 7f/.YX A J/7.1/7 ALLY,
M .TTURNKVS AT LAW.
laiwrencevi!!'* and Clarksville.
" unties of tit- Western
■ W u Mikon ami Forsyth of the
mar 10-ly
S m. pel i>li:s.
BrrORXEY AT LAW,
t; A.
Bo in the counties of Gwinnett,
and Milton.
'-'aims pr mptly attended to
| r . N* GLENN,
rORNEY AT LAW,
CUVILLI, G A.
l-fy attend to all business
■ '?!;* care, and also to Land,
B n '' ” ens ' on claims mar ln-Gm
■ &G- A. MITCHELL,
Bvrexceville, ga.,
t , ender a continuation of
■l 11 '’ 1 services to the citizens
1“ constantly on hand a
lent of drugs and chemicals,
carefully prepared.
lANi AND SURGEON,
VRENCEVILLE, GA.
5-6 m
fl R01!L RT S ,
B arett -Y Georgia,
entrusted to
fl;.:J:V", u ? e circuit; also
‘ Ul,d Gwinnett of
flf f ( y- //. Walker
w Warrant* and
fl lfle VnitrJ States
fl-UNE HOSUE,
near the Car Shed,
fl"!’ "C Lod'jing, 50 Cents.
■ ’-'TON iioti:i.
Weekly Gwinnett Herald.
T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.]
Vol. 11.
PLATONIC.
BY WM. B. TKRRETT.
I had sworn to be a bachelor, she had
sworn to be a maid,
For we quite agreed in doubting whether
matrimony paid ;
Besides, we had our higher love—fair
Science ruled my heart,
And she said her young affections were
all wound up in Art.
So we laughed at those wise men who
say that friendship cannot live
Twixt man and woman, unless each has
something more to give ;
We would be friends, and friends as true
as e’er were man and man—
I’d be a second David, and she Miss
Jonathan.
We scorned all sentimental trash—vows,
kisses, tears and sighs ;
High friendship, such as ours, might well
such childish arts despise ;
We liked each other, that was all, quite
all there was to suy,
So we just shook hands upon it in a busi
ness sort of way.
We shared our secrets and our joys, to
gether hoped and feared,
With common purpose sought the goal
that young Ambition reared ;
We dreamed together of the days, the
dream bright days to come ;
We were strictly confidential, and we
'called each other “chum.”
And many a day we wandered together
o’er the hills,
I seeking bugs and butterflies, and she
the ruined nulls
And rustic bridges, and the like, that
picture-makers prize,
To run in with their waterfalls, aud
groves, and summer skies.
Aud many a quiet evening, in hours of
full release,
We floated down the river, or loafed be
neath the trees,
And talked in long gradation, from the
poets to the weather,
While the western skies and my cigar
burned slowly out together.
Yet through it all no whispered word, no
tell-tale glance or sigh,
Told aught of warmer sentiment than
friendly sympathy ;
We talked of love as coolly as we talked
of Nebula;,
Aud thought no more of being one than
we did of being three.
“Well, good-bye, chum ! ” 1 took her
hand, for the time had come to go—
My going meant our parting, when to
meet we did not know ;
I had lingered long, and said farewell
with a very heavy heart,
For although we were but friends, ’lis
hard for honest friends to part.
“Good-bye, old fellow ! don’t forget your
friends beyond the sea,
Aud some day, when you’v lots of time,
drop a line or two to me.”
The words came lightly, gaily, but a
great sob just behind
Welled upward with a story of quite a
different kind.
Aud then she raised her eyes to mine,
great liquid eyes of blue,
Filled to tbe brim, and running o’er, like
violet cups of dew ;
One long, long glance, and then I did
what I never did before —
Perhaps the tears meant friendship, but
I’m sure the kiss meant more.
A Newspaper that Never Re
tracts. —The London Times many
years ago announced, editorially,
that a Mr. B. “had committed suicide
by hanging himself.” Two days af
terwards Mr. B. appeared before the
editor, notified him that he had not
hung himself, and requested an edito
rial correction of the statement.
The editor calmly replied: “The
Times never retracts and never makes
corrections. If we did that, people
would have no faith in our news.”
“Why, what can be done?” ex
claimed astounded Mr. 8., “you see I
am not hung! I am not dead!” “Ex
cuse me,” replied the impurturable
editor, “the Times has said, editorial
ly, that you had hung yourself. To
all intents and purposes, therefore,
as far as we are concerned, you hung
yourself and you are dead! We don’t
know you to be alive. We can’t
take back a word. You are dead
and ought to buried. But we can
do this for you. You can publish a
card under ‘births,’ and announce
under your own name, that you are
born again! And we shall be
doing you a great favor, Mr. B.”
The recently reported new cattle
plague in Wisconsin has these symp
toms: The animal at first refuses to
eat or drink; the nose, ears, and horus
are cold; the milk dries up and blood
runs from the nose, mouth, and other
orifices. In about forty-four hours
the auimal dies.
It takes the food grown on 7,300,
000 acres of land to feed Londou one
year—the product of 20,000 acres
each day. The valuation of London
sewage, now wasted, is 5,000,000,
and would raise corn enough lor
2,000,000 people.
Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, May 15, 1872.
A Georgia Planter in Brazil.
The Federal Union publishes
the following letter from a native
and a former resident of Baldwin
county, who, possessed of a wan
dering disposition, lias found his
way into the interior of Brazil,
where lie appears satisfied at last,
ft is addressed to his brother, still
resident in Baldwin county :
Tiete Province, Santa Paulo, |
February 12, 1872. j
Dear Brother : I write you a
few lines to inform you where I
am living. Myself and children
are well, and I hope you are enjoy
ing the same blessing. I have
traveled a long time, and was
wrecked on % the Island of Cuba
for nearly a year ; went from there
to New York, and then to Brazil,
where I now live. My youngest
living child, Joseph, is now twelve
years old. My wife and two young
est children died in Texas.
-Ihis is the healthiest country I
ever saw; water is plenty and
very good; the land is not level,
but mountainous in many places.
On the sea coast the mountains are
very highland can be seen a great
way off, with large steep rocks on
the sides and tops.
The settlement 1 live in is about
like our old settlement, and the
most productive land I ever saw,
gray and sandy, with some red
land. Cane [bamboo, we presum.
—Eds ] eighty feet high all over
the woods, and vines so thick
that you can’t see a man five feet.
The gray land has no cane on it.
I think it the best land; it will
make two thousand pounds of seed
Cotton to the acre. Sugar cane
grows finely; and there is no fiat
level land to plant rice on, but it
does well on the highlands, and
corn yield an abundance.
I live in twenty four degrees
south latitude, the best climate in
the world. All the year is nearly
like May in Georgia. I have not
had a bad cold since I have been
here; neither have my children—
in fact, no sickness of any kind.
I have not seen a night too warm
to sleep under cover.
It takes produce longer to ma
ture here than it does in North
America. The days are not so
warm and long from sunrise to
sundown.
We have some white frost from
the Ist of June to the Ist of Sep
tember, but very light. Last June
a year ago it frosted twenty-two
nights in succession. Winter is
the dry season; rain begins in
October and lasts until April; but
we are not ofteu two weeks at a
time without rain. We have light
showers nearly every week. Corn
never suffers for rain, nor does it
ever fail to make an abundance.
The way they plant here, they cut
all the canes and vines; the large
deadened trees do. not die soon,
and some never rot. After the
canes and vines dry, they burn
off, and )’ou never saw such fires.
Then they take sticks, stick holes
in the ground, drop from four to
eight grains in a hole, and that is
all the work they do to it, and get
thirty* to fifty bushels to the acre.
The Brazilians are, the most of
them, wealthy in this settlement,
and well educated. Their lan
guage is easily learned. My chil-,
dren speak it very well.
I will give what idea these Bra
zilians had of a plow. They had
never seen one uutil I came here ;
some thought the mule, or buro,
as they call them was hitched be
hind the plow between the han
dles. The first one I made was a
good show ; I sold it for nineteen
dollars, and havn’t been able to
keep plows for my own use. All
of them are getting in a notion of
plowing. Many large plantations
have fifty or sixty negro men on
the place.
The negroes and poor whites go
barefooted. I have never seen any
old worn out land, nor gullies or
washed lands. Some pay an Amer
ican good wages to iustruct their
negroes how to plow—one thou
sand to twenty-five hundred mil
reys. A milroy is fifty cents. —
They will give four milreys a day
for a hand to plow.
What we call a Cary plow in
the States they like best. I sell
them for $11.25; without stock
$7.50 ; and $4 for stock.
Ir. my next letter to you I will
write you more about the country
and its hunting and fishing. Noth
ing more this time. I remain your
loving brother,
Joseph J. Greek.
What man wants —all be can get.
What woman wants—all she can’t
[get-
“COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE!”
THE HILLB.
When memory breathes of childhood’s
home,
And youth's pulse stirs with joyous
thrills,
Homesick, 1 long again to roam
As free as then upon the hills.
How oft, with childish eagerness,
1 climbed to gaze, where blue and dim,
The distant hills, with mute caress,
Seemed meeting the horizou's rim.
And, with that hopefulness of youth,
Which contact with the world soon
chills,
Built castles, which I though, in truth,
To seek and find beyond the hills.
At last, beyond the hills to dwell,
I went; and though with tearful eyes,
I looked a lingering fond farewell,
The future wore a fairer guise.
But in the life that the future brought,
I found few joys and much of pain ;
The idols proved but clay I’d sought ;
Nor were my castles on the plain.
- -
Bloodless l>uel in Ohio.
lhe Dayton (Ohio) Journal gives
the following accouut of a blood
less duel: One of the parties was
a well known Democratic politi
cian, formerly chairman of the city
Democratic Executive Committee.
It must be said, in deference to
the fact, that the challenged party
was a “colored pussou.” Of course
chivalry was in the ascendant.
The American fellow citizen ol
Africau descent was determined to
maintain the honor of his nation
ality, while the ex-meuiber of the
Democratic Central Committee
had a sure thing of it in making it
a condition of the duel that there
should be no lead in the pistols.
The darkey was not posted on this
point. He believed that it was
the regular thing according to the
latest style of the duello.
The parties met, as arranged by
the seconds, on the banks of Mad
river. The Ethiopian was furnish
ed with an antiquated pepper box
revolver, while the democratic
Caucasian was similarly aimed.
The word was given to take posi
tions; the democrat and the Afri
can obeyed the summons, but the
darkey stood upon his courage and
the honor of his race, while the
democrat took his position with
the agreed certainty that blank
cartridges only w ere to be used.
The men being placed, the usual
words were given, and the parties
fired. As might have been expec
ted no one was hurt. The contest
went on until three shots had been
exchanged. On the fourth fire, as
had been arranged, the forehead
of the democratic committeeman
was discolored by a stain, as of
blood, and he fell heavily to the
ground.
The darkey was evidently dis
couraged. He was the challenged
party, and, as an African, could
not refuse to vindicate the courage
of his race. So when he saw his
antagonist fall he was disposed
to fly, and he did fly—right into
the arms of the authorities ! He
got into town with all possible
speed, confessed his crime and was
committed to jail at his own re
quest. lie was at last released on
sham bail, and the belligerents,
who had so lately faced each other
at the pistol’s mouth, fortunately 7
met. The darkey was overjoyed
to find that he had not put a hole
in the skull of his antagonist, as
appearance had indicated, and the
two combatants settled their diffi
culty with a drink, after failing to
accomplish such a result with pep
per boxes.
A Utah correspondent, treating
of the plurality of wives among
the Mormons, writes :
A characteristic anecdote—one
which I have often heard related
by the Mormons themselves—will
clearly illustrate the principle.—
Among the applicants to Brigham
for this especial privilege of saint
ship there came one day, a brother
of au unusually doubtful eharcter,
when something like the following
dialogue ensued :
“So, you want auothcr wife, do
you V”
“Yes, if you please, Brother
Brigham.”
“Well, the short of the matter
is, that you can’t have one.”
“Why can’t l have one as well
as the other saints
“So, you want to know the
whole story, do you ? ’
“Yes; I should like to know why
I can’t have more than one wife,
as well as the rest of ’em ?”
“Well, you shall know, then, in
short order. I want your race to
die out!”
The average man has 116 pounds
of water in him.
From the Overland Monthly for April.
“Cut *um Too Short.”
* * * The distance between
my post and Santc Fe was over
three hundred miles, and to facili
tate matter's I was ordered to sur
vey a new and shorter route—cut
ting off about seventy miles. A
company, numbering.eighty men,
was detailed fur the purpose; and,
as the course led partly through a
wooded region, a considerble
squad was required to act as ax
men. Three or four lively Llack
and tan terriers accompanied the
command,affording no little amuse
ment by their activity in snapping
’up unwary gophers, rats, mice,
and other varrniu. The aborig
ines, who frequently honored ns
with their presence claiming to be
“good Indian, me,” were exces
sively pleased at those perform
ances. On a certain occasion, one
stalwart fellow, who spoke a few
words of English, said to mo :
“Nantarrh, heap good dog.”
“Yes,” I replied, “they are good
dogs.”
‘‘Cut’um ear, cut’um tail, make
’urn good dog ?”
“Certainly, it is because their
cars and tails are trimmed that,
they get around so lively.”
“Aough ! Me got a good dog;
cut ’urn tail ?”
“Yes, l> !ng your dog, I’ll have
him fixed for you,”
Next day, my Navajo friend ap
peared with a small, black, Indian
lice, sporting a long tail and ears
to correspond. Unrolling his pre
cious quadruped from his blanket,
he signified a desire to have the
job done without delay ; so I call
ed two men, and bade one hold
the dog while the other docked
his tail with an ax. This did not
suit Redskin, who refused to trust
his favorite to the teuder mercies
of a savage white man, and pre
fen ed to perform tiie operation
himself. I therefore ordered one
of the men to hold the dog’s tail
over a convenient log, while the
other held his head and fore paws.
All being ready, the Indian seized
an ax, but, instead of using it as
any other person would have done,
lie swung the blade high above
his head with 1 oth hands, as if the
object to be separated required
his whole strength. Just then the
soldier who held his tail gave it a
sudden pull, while the one at the
head gave a corresponding push.
Down came the keen weapon, di
riding the unfortunate “purp” just
forward of the hind quarters, to
the infinite disgust of the Indian,
who picked up the disjointed
halves, threw his blanket over his
shoulders in indescribable dignity,
and exclaimed in gutteral accents:
“Ugh ! II—1! Damn ! Cut Tun
too short.”
Church Scandal.
That tall fellow’s here to-day,
I wonder what’s his name ?
His eyes are fixed upon our pew—
l)o look at Sally Dame.
Who is that lady dressed in green ?
It can’t be Mrs. I .each ;
There's Mrs. Jones with Deacon Giles!
1 wouder if he ll preach.
Lend me your fan. it is so warm,
We both will sit to prayer ;
Mourning becomes the Widow Ames—
How Mary’s bonnet flares-
Do look at Nancy Sloper’s veil!
It’s full a breadth too wide;
I wonder if Susannah Ayers
Appears to-day as bride?
I/>rd ! what a voice Jane Rice has got;
Oh, how that organ roars !
I’m glad we’ve left the singer’s seats—
ltow hard Miss Johnson snores.
What ugly shawls are those in front ?
Did you observe Ann Wild ?
Her new straw bonnet’s trimmed with
black,
I guess she’s lost a child.
A St. Louis fair one, hearing
that her lover was going to a ball
with another girl, made a bargain
with the hackman by which she
drove the coach iustcad, and in
place of taking the happy pair to
their destination she took them
several miles out of the city. Then
inducing them on some pretence to
get out, she whipped up the horses
and drove hack, leaving the unfor
tunates—the lady in a lyw-ncckcd
muslin ball dress—exposed to a
pelting rain in the midst of a lone
ly wood. After wandering in the
mud for a number of hours—a per
formance for which neither the
cavalier’s thin boots nor his com
panion's kid slippers were partic
ularly well fitted —they fouud shel
ter iu a farm-house, where, finding
a priest, and the mutuality of their
misadventures inspiring love, they
were united iu the holy hoods.
ls 2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
“LOVE IN A COTTAGE.”
BY L.OOISK 8. CPU AM.
“Love in a cottage I” How charming it
sounds!
In what a delirium of bliss
Will rural John talk to winsome young
May,
As he seals her sweet lips with a kiss 1
“Not silver or gold, but the wealth of one
heart,
Is the gift I proffer to thee;
And a viue-trellised cot thy skill would
adorn,
Would be more than rich palace to me!”
“It is sweet to labor for one whom I love,
And, John, there's noue like you, I
know;”
So the soft little hand into his slyly creeps,
And where he gots, she gladly will go.
And they, like two birds, their hearts
brimming with love.
Choose a nest older birds have outgrown,
And twitter and sing through the bright
days of Spring,
And envy no king on his throne.
And John steps with a grand aud a sol
dierly air,
And speaks now and then of his “Wife!”
While shy May quaintly says, ••Hedoes,"
or "lie says,” *
And “Wives lead such a sweet, happy
life!”
But years fly apace, and no one of our
race
Ts exempt from life’s trouble and care ;
And those that fond love most gladly
would shield,
Oft feel they reap more than their share.
Thrice blest are the few who, through
Winter and Time,
Their seared mantles around them have
flung;
E’en though frosted and bowed with life’s
burdens, have kept
The love in their hearts ever young 1
If John's heart beat for Mary, and
Mary's for John,
Even through to the mists of old-age,
Love will shine as a beautiful “Finis” at
last,
Fairer far than on youth's title-page.
Love, in palace or cot, is a beautiful guest;
A blessing in ways mauifold ;
A crown of bright glory on the forehead
of youth,
A halo of bliss for the old 1
The Situation.
The New Orleans Times gets off
a good one in the form of a con
versation between a couple of col
ored American citizens. Hear
them :
“I reckon dc planter’s pockets is
clean empty,” Baid a vcnorulle
gentleman on Monday, who was
leaning lazily against a post,
“chit’s why (ley’s so mighty back
aid dis year. Last year at dis
time, I jest had to stand here two
ininits, and bless the Lord, cf
tweuty didn’t come up at once,
hollering, 'old man, is you gaged
for next year ?”’ “If day pockets
is empty, what is w r e gwine to
do ?” asked his companion discon
solately. “I ain’t got a dust of
meal, nor nuthin’ in my cabin, and
I ain’t fit for nuthin* but farm
work.” “Hush your fool tongue,”
answered the other severely.—
“Ain’t we done sent a heap of our
folks to the Legislator? What
you reckon dase doin’ dar, if it
tain’t to make do white folks pay
for de black folk’s grub ? I ’clarcs
to gracious, Sam, you is got no
more gumption dan dis here stone.”
Sam whistled loud and decisively,
and stuck his hands in hi* ragged
pockets.
“Look here, old Mose,” he said,
“I reckon dis here chile knowH a
buzzard when he secs it. Hern
legislators is a makin’ dere own
craps and dey ain’t a goin’ to take
money out of dere own pockets
and slap bang it in yours nor
mine. No, not a bit more than
you’ll ’vide dat are bale of cotton
you briuged in to-day wid me. Es
de planters is done broke, we’se
broke along wid ’em. Whose
money i 9 we bad since de war ?
Is it de legislator’s or de plan
ter’s ? I say when dey falls we
gits a mity hard tumble, too, and
dat’s de law and gospel, and you :
can’t make it no oder way.”
"You’se a confounded fool,”
cried old Mose, stuttering with
rage. “You reckon cause one lot j
of fools is played out, dere ain’t a
heap of men to step iuto dere
shoes ? Is dey goin’ to run off de j
plantations, or sink ’em, or burn
’em ? De land is dar. Oar’s a
heap of money among the Yanks
to buy ’em up. I b’lieves I’d rath
er work for a Yankee boss any
way.”
“Taint no use to try to sense
your old calabash,” said the other,
roused in bis turn, “I tell you no
Yankee boss is a goin’ to be such
a consarned fool as to pay widout
you works and derc’s an end on’t."
A Jersey man eloped with the
wrong woman by mistake.
KATES OF ADVERTISING.
space 3 mo’s. 6 mo’s. 12 mo’*.
tmpmre * 4 ou fc 600 glO 00
2 sq’rs fi 00 10 00 ]o 0 0
3 sqr’s 800 14 00 20 (,0
H c,) l- 12 90 20 00 30 00
% col. 20 00 35 00 60 00
one col. 40 00 75 00 too 00
The money for advertisement* it do*
on the first insertion.
A square is the space of one inch ia
depth of the column, irrespective of the
number of lines.
Marriages and deaths, not exceeding
six lines, published free. For a mnn ad
vertising his wife, and all other personal
matter, double rates will be charged.
No. 9.
A Definition of Love. —Many
women suppose they love their
husbands, when, unfortunately,
they have not the beginning of an
idea what love is Let me explain
it to you, my dear lady. Loving
to be admired by a man, loving to
be petted by him, loving to be
caressed by him, aud loving to be
praised by lain, is not loving a
man. All these may be when a
woman has no power of loving at
all—they may all be simply be
cause she loves herself and loves
to be flattered, praised, caressed
and coaxed, as a cat likes to be
coaxed and stroked, and fed with
cream, and have a warm corner.
But all this is not love. It may ex
ist, to be sure, where there is love;
it generally does. Love, my dear
ladies, is self sacrifice \ it is a life
out of self and in another. Its
very essence is the preferring of
the comfort, the ease, the wishes
of another to one’s own, for the
love we bear them. Love is giv
ing, and not receiving. Love is
not a sheet of blotting paper or a
sponge, sucking in everything to
itself; it is an out-springing foun
tain, giving from itself. Love’s
motto has been dropped in this
world as a chance gem of great
price by the loveliest, the fairest,
the purest, the strongest of lovers
that ever trod this mortal earth,
of whom it is recorded that lie
said, “It is more blessed to give
than to receive.” Now, in love,
there are ten receivers to one
giver. There are ten pci sons in
this world who likes to be loved,
and love, where there is one who
knows how to love. — Ejt.
A sharp Yankee went into a
country store Down East, and thus
accosted the proprietor: “’Squire,
do you trade “Considerable,"
was the reply. ‘‘l mean, do you
dicker?” “Some; what you got
to dicker?” A egg.” “What you
want for a egg ?” “Guess I’d take
a darning-needle.” The required
needle was dickered for the egg,
and the Yankee was going away,
when he turned and said, “’Squire,
do you treat?” “Well, I don’t
mind if I do,” replied the good
nat u red storekeeper. They re
paired to an adjacent tavern, and
the usual Bourbon was produced,
“Hold on,” cried the Yankee, “my
cliist’s weak and I never take
whisky w ithout a egg in it.” The
generous shopkeeper handed him
the dickered egg, but without ask
ing him for his neegle again. The
Yankee broke the shell on the
edge of the glass, when lie exclaim
ed, “Gccwillikius, this egg’s got
two yokes ! Guess you must gin
me another darnin’-needlc,’squire”
Guileless males should lieware
of Memphis. Unwary travellers
who aliglu there often hear a sweet
voice exclaim, “Darling, I’m so
glad you’ve conic,” while a soft
arm clasps itself around the wil
ling victim’s neck, a warm, palpi
tating form is pressed against bis
breast, and pouting lips linger on
his. Then follow a little scream
of dismay, a stammering apology,
and hasty retreat. The delighted
recipient of these caresses imme
diately begins to weave a little
romance, with the fair unknown
for its heroine, and dreams of
spendiug an eternity in the “coun
terfeit presentment” of the above
performance; but the discovery
that bis watch, pocketbook, etc.,
arc missing, rudely dispels the
rosy vision, and he shakes the
dust of his feet off on Memphis.
A traveller was once making a
pedestrian tour of the Alps, when
suddenly, in a narrow path, he
came face to face with a large
brown bear, lie drew a revolver
and was about to fire, when, to his
amazement, the bear cried out,
“Don’t fire.” It turned out that
the pretended bear was a mau em
ployed by some guides, who sent
him out dressed in a bear-skin
when they bad a timid traveller to
escort. At a preconcerted spot
the bear would rush upon them,
and when put to flight by the ex
ertions of the guides, the traveller
never failed to reward their cour
age and devotion by a handsome
present of which the bear received
a liberal share.
“Are these rooms to let!” said a
polite gentleman to a handsome
young lady. “Yes, sir.” “Are won
!to l>« let with them f” “No, sir, I'm
to be let alone.”
“Good morning, "Squire, got sdv
1 thing new!” “Yes I've got the ntu
ralgia, and it hurts terribly.”