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I g \VINNETT herald. . IED EVERY WEDNESDAY, BY '^PLES^VAKBKOrGIL tyleb m. ri* l>LKS > Editor - ? F J u . Ba . 0B ' rT !°« « One W ®” x "months M Ooft-’P. t' cc months • ) ® rates are cash-payable saJ ' 1 nr provisions. obtaining five subscribers, and A ' jy V will receive a copy free. lbe "‘fibers wishing their papers Sob m „n one post-office to another, ;iin: lte the name of the post-office 1,14 ' , h thev wish it changed, as well -. '/‘.nlhicii they wish it sent. ■ T ,, ; a advertisements. I per levy *2 50 P' rIT [a sales, per square... t> 00 P administration 300 debtors and creditors... 5 00 Kof land, per sqnare - J 00 kl ,lica Z 300 k-, t r ;l y r S ik*s of land, by administrators, I (1 r guardians, are required by r ei ' . b 0 held on the first Tuesday in the L h between the hours of ten m the r 1 ; md three in the afternoon, at Eoart-honse in the county in which KBS tHeaSen must be given in L public gazette 40 days previous to the l \viee to debtors and creditors of an Lite must also he published 40 days. 'Vice lor the sale of personal proper tv must be given in like manner, 10 days brevious to sale day. ... . . F Notice that application will be made L'tiie Court of Ordinary for leave to L| i, n( ] must he published for lour weeks, ["'citations on letters of administration, Uvirdiaiiship. &c, must be published 30 Lv; for dismission from administration, LSly, three mouths; for dismission [from guardianship, 40 days. Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages L t l,o published monthly, four months ; in"- lost papers, for the full • "if"three months; for compelling [| t ]n S from executors or administrators, there bond has been given by the de tcased. the full space of three months, f 'sheriff’s sales must be published for four weeks. I I'jtray notices, two weeks. Publications will always be continued Loniiug to these, the legal requirements, Inless otherwise ordered. I[ J IOFESS!ONAL CARPS. I , mS ' WM. K. SIMMONS. I WINN & SIMMONS. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BoWUENCEVIU.E, G EORGIA. ■ j’ractice in Gwinnett anil the adjoining ||.iuntw. mar 15-1 V J N. L. HUTCHINS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, ■aWUENCEVTU.F., G.V. ■ I’liu-tieo in the counties of the Western - i ■! in Milton and Forsyth of the Hike Ridge. mar 15-1 y I YLKU M. PEEPLES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, AIVRESCEVIU.E, GA. Practices in the counties of Gwinnett, all. Jackson and Milton. Pension claims promptly attended to mar 15—Grit J. N. G L ATTORNEY AT LAW, tWREN'CEVILLE, GA ill promptly attend to all business ttrusted to his care, and also to Land, aunty and Pension claims mar 15-Cm rs -t.k. &, g. a. mitchell” UWRENCEVILLE, GA., Respectfully tender a continuation of or professional services to the citizens “rally. Keep constantly on hand a ’j, ass °rtmcnt of drugs and chemicals. 1 '•ascriptions carefully prepared. ■mar 15-lj ■A.J.sI! A 1 I >., AND SURGEON, ■ UWRENCEVILLE, GA. ■ 11 F - ROIIE RT S , Attorney at Law, ALPHARETTA, GEORGIA, LiH business entrusted to Ithe j»dge circuit; also l\y ‘ tlcs . 0 tmd Gwinnett of ru stern circuit. Ip / 1 Col. E. Tl. Walker Ig,- 1 Land Warrant* and ih * F nitcd state * K ' jtine 14-Gin aj R-line HOUSE, P ‘ )ot Street > “ear the Car Shed, AT LANTA, GA. I rif,.. i» n( ,, r i,.( 01 . I ' " Lvlyln.,, 00 Cent*. I *ug 16-ts r lAl; i-i>To\ iKrn. :L I CIIa ULESTOX, s. c. |“uy:.. !v v - h. Jackson. * Weekly Gwinnett Herald. T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.] Yol. 11. Another “All Quiet.” Recent discussion as to the author j ship of the famous song, “All Quiet ; on the Potoinac,” seems to have in l spired another poem of equal or j greater merit, which is copied from the Richmond Dispatch : All quiet along the Potomac to-night, No sound save the voice of the river. | Which ever seems wailing a sorrowful dirge For hopes that have perished forever And still as I listen, those low mournful notes Are by fancy all framed into story ; And I hear a lament for those heroes and braves Whose names are enshrouded in glory ; Who once trod these shores in the pride of their might, And swore that the foeman should never Pollute, by his presence, our beautiful South, And our flag should float proudly for ever ! But those forms are now still, and o'er their low graves The loved ones are silently weeping, While the “stars up above, with their glittering eyes, Still keep guard when those heroes are sleeping.” .There’s another sad voice in the dark riv er’s flow, Tlio’ so low I must bend as 1 listen, And the ripples meanwhile seem a shower of tears, As in the bright moonlight they glisten. It speaks of a nation whose hopes are all fled, Whose glory’s forever departed. Whose garlands of fame are withered and dead, Whose people are now broken-hearted. It whispers of laurels all faded and torn— Of banners all gory and tattered— Of armies that proudly defended our own, But whose hosts are now vanquished and scattered. Hark! another sweet voice—’tis the gen tle night wind, Through the forest leaves softly ’tis sighing ; But it speaks to the heart of glories mi di mined, Of bright hopes forever undying. For it says, “Anchor not to this perishing earth" The chains which may so soon be riven. But remember, while mourning the sor rows of life, There is happiness, freedom, in Heaven! Those heroes now tread the shores of that stream Which flows through the city of God, Their brows arc encircled with heavenly light, Their garments washed white in Christ’s blood. They belong to the army of martyrs on high, The sword is exchanged for the crown ; Their freedom is won, their victory com ‘ pletc, Their weapons forever laid down. All quiet along the Potomac to-night, No sound save the rush of the river, And the beatiful voice of the gentle night wind, As tne forest leaves tremble and quiver. There is a man in Darby, Ta., who purchased a hull-dog, which he pro posed to turn loose in his store at [ night in order to scare away burglars. The first evening after he obtained posssssion of the animal ho locked it in the store and went away a happy man. The next morning, early, he went arouud to the store and unlock jed the door. The dog was vigilant— the man was surprised to see how exceedinly vigilant the dog was—for no sooner was the door open than the dog seized his owner by the leg, suddenly, and seemed to be animated by an earnest and vigorous resolution j not to let go until it had removed at I least one good mouthful. And the | man pushed the dog back and shut j the door on its ribs until the animal j relaxed its jaws; and then the man kicked the dog into the store and j shut the door as if ho was in a hurry to do something. Then he suspend ed business for a week, and spent the vacation firing at that dog through J the windows and dnwn the chimney, ' and up through the cellar ceiling, with a shot-gun, trying to exterminate him. And that mercantile establish ment did not open for trade until the 1 man had paid twice the first cost of the dog to the dog’s former owner to come and take it home; aful then, when he got in, he found that during I the bombardment holes had been j shot through mackeral barrels and ! molasses cans and coal oil kegs, so that there was misery and ruin every where. Dogs have no more charms for this man ; and if you allude in his presence to the noble work that is being done by the woman’s branch of the society for the prevention of ; cruelty to animals, that merchant is always observed to rise up and swear, j — Sprin<jjitid Republican. Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, June 26, 1872. Tlio Fat Contributor—He xvill be a Candidate for Presi dent. The hour has arrived. I can hes itate no longer. The highest inter ' ests of the nation demand that I pre ; sent myself as a candidate for I’resi i dent of the United States. I have j waited for some one else to living me | out, but in the multitude of candi dates no one seems to have thought of me. And I don’t think vety much of myself; hut a man don’t want to j think much of himself to be a candi j date for President now-a days. If lie had any self-regard at the outset he j would think very little of himself by j the time lie got through the cam [ paign. j lam one of the people—l might say, one of the boys. I came up from obscurity, and I have brought up a good deal of obscurity with me. I never had any politics—or much else. lam ‘ Liberal” to a fault, and ready to receive votes from any quar ter, although I am not ready to give quarters for any votes. As for a platform, suit yourself, | gentlemen. The lecture platform ! would probably suit me as well as any other. Having stood upon near ly every platform in the West it would bo hard for you to get up one 1 could not stand on. In the absence of a platform, give me four aces, and I’ll “stand” on that. I am the special friend of the la boring man. No one likes to see a man work better than I do. In fact, I had rather see a man work than work myself. I am not only averse to working more than eight hours, but I am opposed to working a single hour. I shan’t even work for my election, leaving that for the men who want the otlices. I am in favor of paying the na tional debt. It is, in fact, the only I debt lam in favor of paying. And I rather than not see it paid during my administration, 1 will pay it out of iny own pocket. In the matter of civil service re form I intend to do the civil thing by the nation if the nation does the civil thing by me. Being civil is so rare a condition novv-a days in the varied walks of life (to say nothing about the runs) that reform is urgently called for. Retrenchment ik my motto. If you can’t put a retrenchment plank in the platform put in a board. lam willing to work without any salary, but 1 shall insist upon my board. I am rather inclined to free trade, preferring to feel free to trade when ever I please, but if a tariff plank is necessary to my election, put it in. 1 shall not get on a tar iff 1 ain’t elec ted. Pledge me as strong as you please to the temperance men. The tem perance pledge won’t hurt me a bit. No relative shall hold office, no matter whose relative lie may be. I shall appoint none but old bachelors, childless widows and orphans. Any man who has a relative in the world need not apply for an office under my administration. I have a few rel atives of my own holding office now, but they shall be promptly kicked out as soon as lam elected One brother-in-law has a little coal office on the river, lie must give it up. A third cousin on ray neighbor’s side drinks a little too much occasionally, aud gets office foot. I shall give him notice to ijuit. You see lam determined to reduce the “relavivo” expenses of the government. I engage not to accept any gift, unless it be the highest office in the gift of the people. If 1 am ever called “our present Chief Magistrate,” it won’t be a chief magistrate of presents. Not being a man of com manding presence anyhow, there would probably be few presents that I could command. What few gifts I may have, however, I shall endeavor to retain. They are not worth mak ing any fuss about. I atn not only in favor of woman’s rights, but of woman’s rights and lefts. I am in favor of women vot ing, provided they vote for me. I see no reason why a woman should not hold office, except, perhaps, the difficulty of getting hold of it. Nor should there be any bar to a woman’s accumulating property and support ing the family if she wants to. I may bo asked how I would treat the Indians. I wouldn’t “treat’’ them at all. They have been treated too much and too often. My private opinion, however, is, that it will be a treat when thero isn’t an Injun left. I stand by the old constitution that has been tried. Few men have tried their constitutions more than I have tried oiiue. I accept the amend ments, every one of them. When it comes to amends I am ready to shout “amen” as loud as anybody. 1 understand there is an Ambitious “COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE! ” man named George Francis Train, who aspires to be President on his promise to free Ireland. I engage not only to free Ireland, hut to make Irish whisky free in the bargain. I shall at least be able to tie George Francis in the popular vote, unless one or the other of us keep away from the polls, llang it, I believe I could tie the Davenport brothers ! I shall inaugurate a wholesale emancipation business as soon as I am inagurated. No goods retailed at the While House when I am President. I engage to emancipate women from the thraldom of fashion, to give the “hoys” their rights, and to abolish the custom which oxcludo.s children in arms from the elevating and purifying influences of the thea tre. I have pledged myself to free Ireland and free postage, to free house-keepers from the tyranny of servant girls ; free pews, free passes and freebooters. To free soil, to free tickets, to free shows, free drinks, free press and “N. J. Free.” I trust I am not making myself too free. Don’t Depend on Father. — Stand up here, young man, and let us talk to you. You have trusted alone to the contents of your father’s purse, or his fair fame for your influence or success in busi. ness. Think you that “father” has obtained eminence in his pro fession Try unwearied industry ? or that bo has amassed a fortune honestly without energy and ac tivity? You should know that the faculty requisite for the ac quiring of fame or fortune is es sential to, nay inseparable from, L'uc attaining of either of these. Suppose “father” has “rocks” in abundance, if you never earned anything for him, you have no snore business with these rocks than a goslin has with a tortoise! And if he allows you to meddle with them until you have gained them by your own industry, he perpetrates untold mischief. And if the old gentleman is lavish of his cash towards Von, while lie is allowing you to while away your time, j'oii’d better leave him, yes, run away, sooner than be a imbe cile, or something worse, through so corrupt an diligence! Sooner or later you must learn to rely upon your own resources, or you will not be anybody. Didn’t Like Mutton. —A good story is told ol the recent excellent performance of Handel’s Messiah at the Broadway Baptist Church. A farmer took his wife to hear the grand music, so splendidly rendered on that occasion, and, after listening with apparent enjoyment, the pair became suddenly interested in one of the grand chorus: “We all, like sheep, have gone astray.” First, a sharp soprano vice exclaimed : “We all, like sheep —” “Next, a deep bass voice uttered, in the most earnest tones : “We all, like sheep—” Then all the singers at oncehasserted: “We all, like sheep —” “Darned if Ido!” exclaimed old rusticus to his partner. “I like beef and bacon, but I can’t bear sheep meat!” There was an audible titter in that immediate vicinity 7 , hut the splendid music attracted attention from the pair, and they quietly slipped out. — Courier Journal. Industrial Reform. —Labor is the only source of wealth, to a great extent the longevity of man. It is labor which fertilizes the earth and transforms the wild forest and uncul tivated prairie into fruitful fields. It s labor which builds our cities, con structs our fleets, our roads, our means of coneyance, which manu factures our clothing, furnishes our dwellings and produces our food. In short which creates all objects of use and luxury. Without labor, man is a poor, helpless creature —the slave of his physical wants and elements, as well as the creation below him. Thus labor is the source of all wealth, of man’s material happiness, of his power and of his health. It is the means by which he fulfills Ids desti ny of overseer of the globe, and in the foundation of bis greatness. An enterprising French woman has imported one of Paris’s peculiar institutions into London in the shape of an “office for marriages,” which undertakes to supply the needy with matrimonial partners. Already the enterprising proprietress is able to publish in her advertisements testi monials from an immense number ot persons who have been satisfactorily supplied with husbands and. wives, and the business is steadily increas* What of the Walt/.? The Methodist has in a late Confer ence tackled the festive waltz again ! In the contest of the Church with the world wo have frequently been inclined to believe that tho Church was rather too strict in its demands upon the younger and moia impul sive members of its fold, and have sometimes feared that by adopting too much of the straight jacket sys tem it might do -possibly less good than a more liberal course would have superinduced. But in the cru sade against the waltz we heartily strike hands with it. “Miss , will you waltz with me ?” says Adolphus. “Well really, Mr. , ” hes itatingly. “Oh ; there's not a bit of harm in it,” and otl they go in each other’s arms. “Sister,” says Adolphus, “if you waltz with another man this evening 1 shall take 3011 homo at once” “But, Brother, didn’t you waltz with ?” “Yes, hut lam a man; you are a woman.” “Well, hut ain't she awoman ?” “Oh, pshaw, you know nothing about it; just don’t you dance any more ?" And this is tho way with them all! None of them totally approve of it; yet all indulge a little. “It’s naugh ty, naughty, but 011 ! so nice.”— There’s no use denying that it is de licious—having a rosy girl on your arm, hei brown curls glistening under your xery eyes, and that de lightful aroma,always floating around a belle, stealing up into your face ; but, then, is it conducive to immor tality ? It is not! What’s tlio difference (the real difference) between sitting still with your arm around a woman, and dan cing with your arm around a woman? Wo onco put this question to a friend of ours ! “What’s the difference?" says we. “Oh, it’s not the same thing at all!” says he. Maybe not; but we can’t see why not! The only argument needed against the waltz, for sensible men, is that it is a violation of the natural delicacy that God puts in a young girl’s heart. No girl ever dances the waltz with a man the first time from a natural impulse. On the contrary, there is always a natural disinclination which causes her to blush, when first asked, to at first decline, and only yield upon persuasion. And even when she has gained her own consent, she still feels doubtful of taking so wide a step from what her woman’s heart tells her is the light thing, that she must see befoto she assays the new depart ure, whether any of her respectable friends are going to follow her lead ! Its against nature, we say ! It is only cultivated in that society which is the most fashionable, and far the most artificial. Imagine a party of our young country lasses and laddies, who, with the bloom of happy innocence upon their cheeks, and the glorious dew unbruslted from their lips, have been romping through the ringing corners of the cotillion, or racing through the healthy rhapsodies of the Virginia reel, suddenly transported to a fash ionable parlor, where laced and painted women were swinging on men’s shoulders through the amorous “German.” • What would the country daises, whose only teacher, and only inspi ration was the great god of nature, think of this scene ? We might learn sound wisdom from the astonished utterances of our country cousins. They are natural, and hence pure and safe. \Ye are not natural, and hence—not natural ! The waltz is wrong, demoralizing and extremely dangerous in its ten d neies, and we trust it shall be many a day before it is engrafted on South ern society. It is foolish aud suicidal to hide behind that tinseled phrase, “Honi suit qui maty pence.” He is a mis erable doceplive coy to catch inno cence ! “Evil be him who evil thinks.’’ Dangerous phrase : every word in it is a coffin lid to a thousand pure souls, and from beneath its velvet syllables many a villain’s dagger has found many a victim’s heart! Its teaching is a honeyed lie, and its letters are rose-leaves scattered along the pathway down which gay waltzers waltz on to ruin ! God help the Church in its crusade against the mad dance, aud God save the dancers! The I’opc attained his 80th birth day on the 13th of May. [s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. Love’s DHiriuni—A I.cautiful j <Jirl of Nineteen Poisons | Herself in Pittsburg;. Pittsburg, Pa., June 5, 1872. Last night a young and beautiful girl about nineteen years of age, named Emilo Liembergcr, arrived at tho Union Depot Hotel, and regis tered her name as being from li.dli more. She was attired in a hand somely made traveling dress, and wearing a jaunty hat, rielily trimmed, and accompanied by a gentleman, who, when she had been assigned to her room, hade her good evening and retired, remarking that ho had met her on the cars and had merely at tended her to the hotel as an act of politeness due to a lady traveling alone. She went to her room and had her trunk sent there, ns is ordi nal ily done, and there was nothing unusual in her appearance or any of her surroundings. About 3 o’clock this morning a servant heard heavy, lalnued breathing in the room occu pied the young lady, and, the forced respiration continuing, the door was at length forced open.— There the young traveler lay upon the bed, and near by was a phial con taining a small quantity of morphine, and a physician stated that, judging from the sizo of the bottle, the girl must have taken enough of the drug to have made over thirty ordinary doses, ()f course there was not, under the circumstances, the most remote hope of relieving her from its effects, and within two hours from this time it was found she had passed, in a slato of stupor, into the realms of death. Why she commit ted the fatal act is plainly developed by sundry sentences entered in a note hook found on her person. Many of these acknowledged the receipt of valuable presents from Fred Pilot, who was theatrical agent for Madame Janauschek, with wluse party Miss Leimbergor is supposed to have trav eled. Among other entries which throw light on this sad ending of . what should have been a bright young life, are the following, all written on leaves of the note hook referred to, and evidently penned more as part of a diary than with ' the intention of sending them to any I particular address: “1 have gone to rest; you shall never see me again lor I am in a happier land than you. I could not I live any longer, for 1 would die of grief to know that 1 love the man that does not love me, and so I had to make an end with me. Better to die quiet than to die for grief and trouble. You will never see me again in this world, and that world is Heaven. Keep this as a secret, and lot never any one at all get this book, for it is from a poor dying sin ner; but take this little book and keep it, if you will do and observe a dead person’s wish ; so keep this lit tle book. I will kiss you a thousand times. Good bye. God bless you and Madame. Hoping you will live happier together, and wiil always re member a poor sinner like me, Em i lie.” Then on another page—probably written but a few short moments be fore she concluded to tako poison are written the following sentences: I took my life on this 4th day of June, 1872, for the man I love. I love a dear man, and nobody can tear him from mu, and this man is Mr. Fred J’ilot. The Assistant Coroner took charge of the body. It is thought from memoranda in the note book that site has friends in St. Louis. Some forty dollars were found in the trunk, also some verv fine jewelry aud a fashionable, costly wardrobe. Two little girls, an eight and ten year-old, were gravely discuss ing the question of wearing ear rings. One thought it wicked.— The other was sure it could not be, for so many good people wear them. The other replied: “Well, I don’t care; if it wasn’t wicked God would have made holes in our cam.” In a recent debate a member of the California Legislature exclaimed : “The honorable gentleman from Cla veras county is undoubtedly a person of great abilities, a man of talent, a natural born genius; but there is one thing I defy him to do, aud that is to bite the boltom out of a fryingpan without smutting his nose.” An Irishman noticing a lady pass down the street, espiod two strips de pending from under her mantle. Not know ing that those were stiled sash es and were hanging in their right place, ho exclaimed: “An* faith, rna’m, yer galluses arc loose I’’ j WATER OK ADVERTISING 1 space 3 mo's. | C mo’s. I'2 mo’s. Iqw re > 400 o •00 $ :*» 00 2»■ |'rs fi 00 10 00 15 0 ]3sq is 800 14 00 20 00 | > 4 ' col. 12 to 2(1 00 1 30 (>(> |*o col. 20 00 35 00 j GO 00 one col. 40 Oft 75 o" | lOH 00 The money for advertisements is due on the first insertion. A square is the spare of one inch in depth of the column, irresjicctive of the I number of lines. Marriages and deaths, not exceeding six lines published tree. For a nmn ad vertising his wife, anil nil other personal ! matter, double rates will be charged. No. 15. Dan Rice’s Circus seems to be “fighting its way” out west. At Baxter Springs, Kansas, the constable made an attempt to arrest an em ploye. The constable was stopped i by one of the proprietors of the circus, who declared he should make no anest under the tent of the com pany. The constable was apparently as they say out there, “spoiling for a fight,” tor his only reply was to draw a revolver from his pocket. His an tagonist immediately did the same, and for some moments there was, in die arena, a lively time not put down in the hills. It was especially un pleasant to the spectators on the benches, who did not lake that in terest in the question in dispute they might have done, had it been a more personal matter. Tbe constable and tho proprietor of the circus, and several of the per formers, as also an inoffensive spec tator of the poetical name of Wig gem, wore wounded. Then the cir cus took its triumphal t march to Fort Seoit, wlieie it “cleared out” that town also, but for wliat cause we are not told. In disturbances of this kind the townspeople will, as a general thing, be found 10 be in the wrong, Tbe Congregationiilist gir,s tbe following warning to tbu younger portion of womankind about the strange men, whose lips are ns holier, that lietli in wail for them in the corners of the cars: “On 1 lie watch for women as ha.l as themselves, or for the young and unsophisticated, of whom a villain might make a victim, it is next to impossible for a voting woman to enter a car unatUeudcd without their knowledge. She is fortunate if they make no more or less cautious approaches to find out who sho is, where she is going, and whether she will tolerate the famili arity of a stranger So numerous are these men that it is with some peril that a young woman undertakes a long journey alone. The peril of those who may he unfortified by principles, or unacquainted with the wavs of the world, or susceptible to flatteries from a smooth longue, is great.” A Canny Scot. —On one occasion a small laird was waited on hy a neighbor, to request his name as an accommodation to a hit bill for i!2O at three months, which led to the following characteristic colloquy : “Na, na, I canna do that.” "Why for no, lainl ; ye liae diuitie the same thing for ilhers ?” “Aye, aye, Tarn mas; hut theie’s wheels within wheels ye ken naelhiug shoot; I canna do’t.” * IFs a sine’ affair to refuse me, laird.” “Weel, ye see, Tainmas, if I was to put my name til Ft ye wad get the siller frae the hank, and when the time earn round ye would na he ready, *nd I wad hae to pay’t, sae then you and me would hae to quarrel; sue we may just as weel quarrel the 1100, as long a the siller’s in rny pouch.” —— “What are you digging there for?” asked a loiterer of three men who were digging a trench in tho street. “Money, znr,” tho answer came. The man watched the operators until tho joke got through tho roots of his luir and then moved on. A misanthropic patagraphist writes: “The touching spectable of a boy leading home his parent was wit nessed last week. The progress war slow, however, as the hoy was con siderable the drunker of the two." A broom with a heavy handle was sent as a wedding gift to a bride, with the following sentiment : •■This trifling gift accept from me, It's use I would commend ; In sunshine use the bushy part, 111 storm the other end." — “Mr. Smith, I wish to speak to you privately. Permit me to take you apart a few moments.” Smith [who wasn’t the least frightened]— “Certainly, sir, it' you’ll promise to put me together again.” “Why doesn’t your father tako a newspaper l" asked a man of a little boy, whom he found pilfering one from his dooistep. “Cause he’d rath er send me to take it,” was the reply. ■— ■■ “Look at the monkey 1” said Smith; “Think of its being an undeveloped human !” “Human!” said Jones, contemptuously, “it is no more hu man than I am.” In an article on a recent Fair, the editor of a piper says a brother edi tor took a valtiablo premium ; but an unkfnd policeman made him put it right back where lie took it fiom.