Weekly Gwinnett herald. (Lawrenceville, Ga.) 1871-1885, July 03, 1872, Image 1

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I oW INNETT HERALD. S IKD EVSKY WEDNESDAY, BY Ittlku m- i^ es > EmTWR * „...* OF SUBSCRIPTION. I BATbSOi a ....ttW ?ontte::”‘ 81 Od B«e V' r - V three months 50 Potion rate. ™ cash-payable Inm'Mfy or gnJr'five subscribers,and i I A"? I receive a copy free. l te "Sirs wishing them papers ' su fr ni rne post-office to another, ffic name of the post-office they wish it sent. r,, ;A r ADVERTISEMENTS. , ]PVV * Ihcriif p Cr square... 500 lortsage sis “ T* *7, 1 «« . ; . 500 §&&£* i - IV-WS-a::::::: i 2 H Sa les of land, by administrators, II , -or guardians, are required by held n on the first Tuesday in the B n hot ween the hours of tetl Ift fhc B;;; ;, me! three in the afternoon, at Be Sort-l»o«se in the county m which li a nrnnertv ts situated. Bffl of these sales must be given in I public gazette -10 days previous to the B'Votice to debtors and creditors or an Btate must also be published 40 days, i f votice for the sale of personal proper- ■ v must be given in like manner, 10 days Brevioas to sale day. ■ Votice that application will be made ■ * t he Court of Ordinary for leave to ■ |an j m ust be published for four weeks. ■ Citations on letters of administration, Buunl'i,inship, &c., must be published HO K lVi . for dismission from administration, Bmntiilv three months; for dismission Bom guardianship. 40 days. ■ [’ulus for the foreclosure of mortgages | lo published monthly, four months ; Br establishing lost papers, for the full Bare of three months ; (or comped ling ■ f r0!1 , executors Or administrators, Bhcrc bond has been given by the de- B.id. the full space of three months. B ' sill's sales must be published for B>ur weeks. BK'tray notices, two weeks. B i'alilications will always l/C Continued Bemliiig to these, the legal requirements, Bnl-- otherwise ordered. i PROFESSIONAL CAftOl IM.J.WISX. WM. B. SIMMONS. WINN & SIMMONS. aitoiineVs at Law, AWKENCEVIIAE, G EORGIA. Prmlice iii Gwinnett and the adjoining iiirttiw. mar 1 S-l y N: li. HUTCHINSj ATTORNEY AT LAW, Practice in the counties of the Western irenit. and in MilUKi and Forsyth of the lui' ltidje. mar 15-1 y [ylEk ai. pejepl.es, ATTORNEY AT LAW, [Practices in the counties of Gwinnett, jtdh Jackson and Milton. 11‘cnsion claims promptly attended to J. N. GLENN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, WREXCEVILI.R, GA. Will promptly attend to all business trusted to his care, and also to Land, mnty and Pension claims mar 10-Gm * S - T -K.& O. A. MITCHELL*, L.WVREXGEVILLE, GA., f -pectfully tender a continuation of ■ lr professional services to the citizens oerahy. Keep constantly on hand a W assortment of drugs and chemicals. Inscriptions carefully prepared. ‘••Lx 11 a ITER,MJ)., LSICIAN and surgeon, L AWRISNCEVILLE, GA. mar 15-6 m Bl *’• LORE UTS, Attorney at Law, ALi ‘HARETTA, GEORGIA, caret! 0 !}! 1 m® 11 ,JUsincs3 entrusted to KiS i".? 1 ;!* 0 circuit; u,so Western circuit ‘“ d Uwh "‘ eU ° f TeT Cd m r lh CoL 11 ■ ll • Walker i‘W cuwa' Warrants ami Kr B m.pnt ‘ JU,llit United States | • Air ~line house, '• T&r Slreet > ne:,r the Car Shed, ATLANT A, GA. 'LI Hi, - . Proprietor. ' ]r " 1 ' 50 Cents. “2 IC-tf laulks ton hotel luauleston, S. c. >ay 24i y E> n. Jackson. Weekly (fwinnett Herald. T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR. ] vol. 11. PEOPLE WILL TALK. You may get through the world, but 'twill be frery slow, If tve listen to all that is said as Wc go; We’ll be worried and fretted, and kept in a stew, For meddlesome tongues will have some thing to do— For people will talk. If quiet and modest, yod’ll hate it pre sumed That your humble position is only as.-, sumed; You’re a sheep in wolf’s elothing, or else you’re a tool; But don’t get excited—keep perfectly cool— For people will talk. If geflCtOSs itfjfl ftoble, they’ll vent out their spied!; You’ll near some loud hints that you're selfish and mean; If upright and honest, and fair ds the day, They’ll call you a rogue in a sly, sneak ing way— For people tvdl talk. And then if you show the least bo'ldficss of heart, Or a slight inclination to take yaur own part, They will call you an upstart, conceited and vain; Hut keep straight ahead—don’t stop to explain— For people will talk. If threadbare your dress, or old fashined your hat, Some one will surely take notice- of that, And hint very strong that you can’t pay your way; But don’t get excited,whatever they say— For people will talk. If j-oii dress in the fashion, don’t think to escape, For they Criticise then in a different shape— You’re ahead of your means, or your tailor’s unpaid; Bht mind yortr ottn business, there’s naught to be made— For people will talk. No«, ‘He best way to do is to do as you phase, For your mind, if you have one, will then be at ease; Of course you will meet with all softs of abttsej. Hut dbn’t think to stop them—it ain’t any use— For people will talk. A Bkai’tiful SiMile. — \Vhile Ba ther Ryan was speaking, not long since,- in Mobile; before the guests of J tho Ladies’ Memorial Association, be made use of the following words. In pointing to a heavy bank of clouds just rising in the wesß and obscuring the setting sun, among which a vivid lightning was incessantly playing, lie said i ‘‘As yon sun goes down behind n dark cloud, so went down the hopes i f those engaged in the unequal struggle for Southern liberty } as you now see the lightnings flashing and blazing athwart the face of that cloud, so leaped the holts of hate* and persecution. But behind that cloud the stars are still shining, just as the star of hope is still lighting up the hearts of our people; and as the sun will rise again on the mor row, so shall eventually rise up in all its splendor the down-trodden and partially obscured cause of right and justice. i— •mm • mm The llubricank at New York. — The hurricane at New York, Friday, created considerable damage. Many persons, both in New York and Brooklyn, were injured, aud in the latter city three persons were killed' At Winfield, Long Island, a hell tower fell on a train of cars, demol ishing a portion of the train. None of the passengers were injured. In Jersey City the grain house of the Pennsylvania Central Railroad was blown down, causing a loss of several thousand dollars. Death of Romeo. —The celebrated elephant Romeo, one of the oldest and said to ho the largest in the United States, and valued at $30,- 000 died last Friday afternoon, in Forepaugh’s Menagery, exhibiting in Chicago. Ilia death was from natu ral causes. The body has been pre sented by Forepaugh to the Chicago Medical College, and its skeleton will be mounted in their museum. President Grant and most of the members of his Cabinet liavo accep ted invitations to attend the Boston jubilee. Under the inspiration of true genius the machinery of gov ernment seems to have beon arrang ed in such perfect working order that it runs by itsolf without requiring the heads of any departments at the capital. Why is the letter R very unfortu nate ? Because it is always in trou ble, wretchedness and misery, is the beginning of riot and ruin, and is never found in peace, inrroeence or love. Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, July 3, 1872. For tbc Gwinnett Herald. PEN ANI> INK SKETCHES- Richard Saye; In several of my former sketches I have incidentally referred to ifr. Saye, because he was intimately and closely connected with several of whom I wrote. A separate and more extended no tice is due him on account of his good standing, and his excellent char acter as a citizen, and for his exem plary deportment as a religious man. Tho old church hook of Fairview, which was kindly placed in my hands a year ago by the late and lamented John Mills—whose mortal remains were yesterday deposited in the grave —mentions the name of Richard Saye for the first time at a session of that church held on the 22d of April, 1825. He had been elected a ruling elder and met with the session on that day. That old book is to me an interesting relic of the old fast. In reading it, it revives old memories, brings up old friends which I knew in my boyhood, and chronicles histo lies and incidents of the church that the cycles of time had obliterated 1 from the memory. These old minutes were recorded by George M. Gresham, the first clerk, and then by Dr. Thomas W Alexander, extending from the Dili of August, 1823—the time when Fairview church was first constituted —to April, 1835, when a new hook was opened, extending to the present time. Through ail these minutes the j name of Mr. Save appears as a ruling I elder; and sometimes as a delegate from that church to llopewcll Presbytery, from April, 1825, lo Ou tober, 1807, the date of bis death. Ho was born in Union district., South Carolina, June, 1777. In his early manhood, ho removed to Frank lin county, Ga., and settled within the bounds of the Hebron eongrega tion* of which the Rev Thomas New ton was then pastor, lie united with that church, and soon was cho sen one of its elders, and was or dained and set apart to that office in 1819, bv the celebrated Dr. Moses Waddell. In March, 1825, ho came to Gwin nett county, and was a citizen here forty-two yean. Mr. Saye was not an active man like Dr. Alexander, Moses Liddell, and some others of his brethren < his temperament Was totally different. He was not excitable under any cir cumstances, but always calm, quiet and uniform. I give an extract from a letter I have received from an old friend, who was long identified with ottr people and with the members of Fairview church* and who was a inembef of that chn/rJi for a long period of years. In speaking of Mr. Saye, be says;- "Every one Who knew Hiin would call him a good man—one of the salt of the earth. When I first knew him ho was called ‘Good Old Father Saye!’ He had no enemios, for he never engaged in any strife or contention. He mingled with the world but little, but rather silently pursued ‘the even tenor of bis way.’ If he could do no good, he was cer tain to do no harm, and so tar, his example had a good influence and was safe to follow. His natural feel ings were not excitable, or, at least, were easily controlled. Ho was a good man, but not very active. It was not common to see him much excited on any subject, but at one time, during a revival, bis feelings were much stirred up, and he re marked that ‘he held the world as he did his coat, ready to drop it at any time;’ and he suited the action to the word so fully that a by stander observed, that ‘he thought he would drop his coat right there.’ ” He had two sons —James H. and John—‘-who were partly educated at the old Academy in Lawrenceville. Both of them became Presbyterian ministers, and are men of great use fulness and have talents of a high order,- especially the first uamed. At this poiut, I must digress to say, what I have long desired to say, that our old county has done more in sending out men who have become oseful and great—to bouor her—than any county in the State ! The bench is now graced by two of her sons; the bar by a large num ber of lawyers of distinguished abil ity ; able and skillful physicians; successful merchants and farmers; and ministers of the Gospel that, for learning, eloquence and usefulness, cannot be surpassed by any ; and of the latter, the two sons of Mr. Saye are very properly classed. At some future day, I propose to give a biographical sketch of the men of Gwiuuett who have gone out to other parts, and who do honor ' to their old mother! “COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE! ” j Twenty or more years ago, I sol emnized tbo marriage of Mr. Save's yotfngCst daughter —his youngest child—who now lives iti one of the far oft’ States of tho Southwest. She, as all his children, like their venerated father, was Of quiet, calm and gentle disposition. This is a characteristic of all his children : sensible, quiet, correct in deportment, and religious in practice. It was said of Mr. Saye what Can bo said of few others : he had no en emies ; none spoke evil or disrespect ful of him ; that he had the confi dence of all who knew him, as an honest man and a Christian, and this is his best eulogy. YV. — Mrs. Jlrtycs* (Jl<t Setting-Hen. “There’s that old yellow lion set ting again,” said Mrs. Ilayes to her son Timothy “Well, let her set, I can stand it as long as she can,” was Tim’s irrev erent reply, as he continued to munch at ;i large piece of cheese. ‘•{ do wish yen wotild try to ho a little quinomicle to cheefse, Timothy, I’ve cut the very last of my every day lot, and it’s only the first of May. Abel now, ris soon as you’ve dcfiie eating, I want you to go out and i break up that hen. She’s settin gon an old axe and two bricks now.” “I hope she’ll hatch ’em,” returned Tim. “If she was set now, she’d hatch the fourth week in May. It’s a bad sign; something always happens arfer it. Stop giggling, Helen Maria; by the time you get to be" as old as yer may, ye’ll see further than you do now. There was tho Jenkins folks, —- their gray top knot hatched the last of May,and Mrs. Jenkins she had the I conjunction of the lungs, and would have died if they hadn’t killed a lamb j and wrapped her in the hide while it was warm. That was all that saved her.” With such a startling proof of the truth and the omen before him, Tim othy finished his breakfast in baste and departed for the barn, from which lie soon returned bearing the squall! ing biddy by the legs. "What shall l do with her, moth er ? She will get on again, and she’s cross as bedlam—she skinned my hands, anil would be the death erf mo if she could get loose.” “I’ve lieern it said that it was a good plan to throw them up in the air,” said Mrs. Ilayes. “Bunt Peggy broke one of setting only three times trying. Spose’n you try it.” "Dp she goes, head or tail,” cried Tim, as he tossed volcano skyward. “Laud-a-massa !” exclaimed Mrs. Hayes, “she’s coming down into the pan of bread that I set out on the great rock to rise ! Tim, it’s strange that you can’t do nothing without overdoing it,” “Down with the traitors, up with the stars,” sang out Tim, elevating l/khly again, with something less than s pint of batter hanging to her feet. “Good gracious me, wuss and wass,” cried Mrs. Hayes, and Tim agreed with her, for the hen had come down on the well polished tile of Esquire Bennett, who happened to be passing, and the dignified old gentleman was the father of Cyn thia Bennett, the young lady with whom Tim was dangerously enam ored. The ’Squire looked daggers, brush ed off the dough with his handker chief, and strode on in silence. “Yes, but it’s going up again,” said Tim, spitefully seizing tbe clucking biddy and tossing her at random into the air. Biddy thought it lime to manifest her individuality, and with a loud scream she darted against the parlor window,broke through, knock ed down the canary cage, and landed plump into the silken lap of Mrs. Gray, who was boarding at the farm house. Mrs. Gray screamed with horror, and starting up, dislodged biddy, who flew at her reflection iu the looking glass with an angry hiss. The glass was shattered, and down came the hen, astonished beyond measure, against a vase flowers, which upset, and in falling, knocked oyer the stand dish and deluged with water a pair of drab-colored velvet slippers which Helen Maria was ern- , broidering for her lover, Mr. James Henshaw. Helen entered the room just as the mischief had been done, and viewing | the ruin, she at once laid it to her j brother Timothy; She heard his step ; behind, and she filing the unfortunate j ben full into his face. There was a smothered oath, and the hen came back with the force of j a twenty pound shot. • Helen was mad. Her eyes were ; nearly put out with the leathery dust and dough, and she went at lirnothy with a true feminine zeal. She broke his watch guard into a dozen piecos, crushed his dickey and began to pull his whiskers out by the roots, when she suddenly remembered that Tim othy had n 6 Whiskers to pull out by the roots. But, when she came to look closer, 3bo perceived lh.ll the man she’ ffrtd nearly annihilated was not Timothy, But Janies Henshaw. Poor Helen hurst into tears and fled into her chamhor, the usual ref uge for heroins, and James, after washing his face at tho kitchen sink, went home, sternly rCsolred (lever to marry a woman with such a temper as Helen Ilayes had. The hen, meanwhile, who is the heroine, returned to tho ham to es tablish herself on the ruin of her nest, determined to set if the heavens fell. Mrs. Ilayes soon discovered he , and she having heard that dipping in watet would cure “bloodiness,” set forth for tho brook with the fowl in her apron. Mrs. W’c'.li’cl', an old lady of very quarrelsome temperament, who re sided near, arid Was rtt sWoid’s point with Mrs. Ilayes, was just coining to the brook for a pail of water, and spied the yelioW head of the - bird peeping out from Mrs. Hayes’s apron. “There 1” she exclaimed, “Now I’ve found out what puzzled me to death nigh about a week. I’ve found out where that yellow pullet has gone to. Mrs. Ilayes, I a’ders knowed you was a wicked, desateful woman, but I didn’t think you’d steal.’’ “Steal ? mo steal ? who are you talking to, Mrs. Weaver ?” said Mrs. Haves On her dignity. “I’m talking to you, madame, that’s who I’m talking to! You’ve stole my hen what I got over to Undo Gillies, and paid for in sassengers. She’s a real Dorking. Givo her to me right here or I’ll use force.” “She’s my lien, and yOu Itfufcb her if you dare!” “I'll show you wliatl dare !” yelled Mrs growing purple, and seizing the ill starred fowl by the tail, She gave a wrench, and the tail Camtf o'fit in her hand. The sudden cessation of resistance Upset "if rs. Weaver’s balance, and she fell backward into the brook, splat tering the mud and astonished pul liwogsin every direction. She was a spry woman, and was soon on her feet again, ready to iChevt the assault. “Give me my hen,” she cried, thrusting her fist into Mrs. 11 aye’s face, “you old hag and hypocrite you f” and she made a second dive at the bird. The fien thought it proper to show her colors, rtnd littering ah’ unearthly yell, she flew out of the covett square into the face of Mrs. Weaver, ft Inch she raked doWft with her nails until it resembled the pages of a ledger, crossed and recrosseu with red ink. Mrs. Hayes caught a stick of brush wood from the fence—Mrs. Weavor did the same, and a regular duel would have been fought if the bank of the creek had not suddenly given away and precipitated both the indig nant women into the water. The ladies shook themselves, and by consent went home. They have ftot spoken since. The hen disappeared and was not seen until three weeks afterwards, when she made her appearance with eleven nice yellow chickens. She found some other fowl’s nest and had set in spite of fate. But although not “broken up" her self, she broke up two matches—for Cynthia Bennett was Rot at home the next time Timothy called, and Mr. Henshaw never forgave Helen for having such a A man enjoying the euphonious name of I’igg, married a lady named Young. A few days since a child was horn to them, aud a rich uncle of the young one, who, like Gilpin, “loves a timely joke,” promises to heavily endow the boy if the parents would christen him the maternal name. The fond hut thrifty parents lonsented, and the youth will hereafter be known to his friends as Young I’igg. mm • Bob—“ Jim, de men don’t make such fools of demselves about wo men as the women do about men. If dey look at de moon dey see a man in it. If dey Ifear a mouse nibbling it’s a man and dey all look under de bed last thing »t night to find a man. Why, I nob ber looks under my bed to find a woman, does you ?” But one false step, one wrong hab. it, one corrupt companion, one loose principle, may wrCck all your pros pects, and all the hopes of those who love you, honor and regard you. [s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. Uriah’s First Untf'.Ov (hr Uni llot Reconstruction of ii Re turned Rebel. Immediately after the late lament ed surrender I returned to the bosom of my family, hearing upon my l»o ly tho marks of honorable and legiti mate warfare. If a matt has ho right irt the bosom of his own family, pray whose bo om lias ho a right in ? But I didn’t go right in. Not by any means. My badge of chivalry just at that time, was not of a character to coinmend ino, at once, to the arms and affections of my too scrupulous ly neat and tidy wife I was ordered into quarrentine. I itrts pitt upon docks for repairs. In other words, t had the itch. California itch,, it was pronounced by competent judges; but why so denominated, I am- at a loss to determine, unless because it was a healthy, robust, salubrious case. This wrts the true State of the case— and it wits the first case I had ever had, although I had been a lawyer for some time, by profession, barring I lie practice—for it is always well to bar the practice at the! bar. 1 reached borne that night in May ’95, after a hard day’s walk through a gentle rain, a ltd took thf real by a chefffful spring fire. Fomehow I had conscientious scruples against letting the itch part of trry military glory leak oirt unf.il next morning. But it was all in vain. In vain I strovo to let concealment, like a worm, feed on my damask, etc. My grimaces, my bodily gyrations, soon began to point a moral and tell a tale, “Uriah,” said the old lady slowly and gloom ily, “you’ve got tho itch ! And I wouldn’t have it to break out in the bosom of my family for anything on earth. It would he a shame and a scandal to tho neighborhood.” I had to own tip. I put on a ghastly grin and tried to make tho itch, after all, was nothing hut a patriotic lux ury, a good thing to have in a family. She couldtt’t see it,- ShC refused pos itively to COn:C wtthirf six feet of mo, while the children Stood aloof and Stated at mo tfs if I was a wild beast. I tried to he familliar, —but it was no go. / had been absent many weary months, and was full of love and poetry. “Come rest in this bosom, my own striek- CJr dear,” did (ft seem to strike any one in Jrrtf ticular. The question was, was I stored away that night in a room to myself, to mutfo orr the pomp irud pride and circumstances of glorious war—especially the circumstance.— My wife was inexorable. I suppose you know what that meatts —in a woman ? If you don’t, come down and stay a week wi b me, and take occasion to bring a quantity of mud in on your hoots, and it won’t take you long to find out She don’t put her foot down often, hut when she does the pnls it down a liltlo of the firmest. I knew very well I would have to get rid of that case complete ly before 1 could ever know my rights and knowing dare mrdntafifr them. It wiftt the worfft case I had ever heard of. Scratch. I reckon if all the scratching I did in one day had boon spread it would have cov ered a surface equal to twenty five acres—good measure. And what was getting to he still more serious, my nails were fast weatiiifg down into the quick, and corns were growing on the halls of my fingers. So early the next morning, after my arrival home, hurried over to commit an old steam doctor who had long been the oracle of the neighborhood, aud lay ing all my troubles fairly and square ly before him, begged for a short, sharp and decisive remedy. He asked me if I was equal to the emergency. I gladly answered in the affirmative. I was equal to any thing that would speedily restore my wife’s lost love. I felt liko one who trode alone ; aud there was nothing in this world half so sweet as love’s old dream—the same old dream. He said he thought he could sweeten me. I took the bottle of turpentine ac cording to directions, went home and locked up in my room with all but me departed, I began to strip for the contest. 1 was all over as spotted 8s a leopard, and as raw as a piece of new beef. I poured the saving fluid into a saucer, caught up about a gill into the hollow of each hand, aud rubbed it on with an energy that springs from despair, I used half the bottle before I slopped to think. Then I didn’t stop long. 1 made a start as I thought for the door, and found myself half way up the chim ney. 1 rolled down and rolled over, aud screamed like a wild Indian. — Talk about yallow jacket plasters and hornets’ nests and honey bees and abominable humble bees, and hot ashes, and hell fire 1 If I hadn’t been dumped heels over head into RATES of advertising. BP.\cK <1 mo 8. 6 mo's. 12 mo’s. Dqmre 0 too g IN Slo on ‘> -4f’rs fi 00 10 0(1 15 oi| 0 i| 3 sqrs 8 00 H 00 20 00 < 4 col. 12 00' 20 00 30 00 col. 29 00 35 00 00 00 olio col. 4ft oo <5 oo lon (to The money lor itmfti&mcnte rs due on the first insertion. A square is the space of one ihclt ift depth of the column, irrespective of the number of lines. Marriages and deaths, not exceeding six lines, published free. For a man ad vertising his wife, and nil other personal flatter, double rates will he charged. No. 16. the furnace of the Tennessee froh W orks, 1 would freeze to death in five minutes. 1 was on the bed, un der the bed, walking first upon my heels and then Ujidtl tny toes and champing the hit, and chawing one leg of my pants, till it looked like a dilapidated dish -tag. I had enough rebellion in me to have Started three small republics. My wife and chil dren were pounding and screaming at the door trying to get in ; hut 1 couldn’t find the door, for the room was flying round like a spinning jenny. 1 was foaming at tho month like a fifteen cases of hydrophobia, and calling alternately for water ami fire. The next morning theta was less one ease of itch in the so called any how. I pealed otl like an onion. I shod enough scales that night to have set up a New England fishery. My hide drew up till it was with the greatest difficulty I could get my feet to the lloor for more than a week. Indeed, all my friends say that my skin has been short ever since. fn less than twenty four hours after I was able to get about o'ne' steam doctor had timely notice, signed, sealed attd delivered" by order of the chief of tho Hu Khix HI an to emigrate. He is now n martyr in some county Ctf Dlrio on account of his “political opinion,” and lias once represented his district in Congress; The King and tlio Soldier. Frederick the Great, of Prussia,- had a great mania for enlisting lic Soldiers into the Royal Guards, and paid an enormous bounty to his recruiting officers for getting them. One day the recruiting sargeant chanced to spy a Hibernian who was at the least feet high ; lie ac fcOstSd him iu English, and propb'Sed that he should enlist. The idea o’s military life and a large bounty so delighted l’ati ick,t!ini he immediately consented. “But, unless vou can speak GfiTMaft, the King will not give you so' riipch.- “Oh,” said lhft Irishman, “sure it's I that don’t know if word of Ger man.” “But,” said tlift sergeant “three words w ill bo enOogfi, attd those you can learn in a short time; The King knows every man in the Guards.— As soon as lie sees you lie will ride up arid ask you how old vou arc.— You will say, ‘Twenty seven ;’ next Imw long have you been iu the sofv io*\ You must reply ‘Three weeks;’ final ly, if you are provided with clo lies and rations You answer, “Both.”’ i’at soon leal fled to pronounce bis answers, Imt never dreamed of learn ing questions, fn three weeks lie appertrCd before the Ring iu review. His Mirjjesty rode up to'him. Paddy tftejyptfd forward w ith ‘-present arms." “llow old aie you?” said the King. “Three weeks,” said the Irish man. '‘How long have you been in the service ?” asked his Majesty. “T wen tv -»e ve n yea rs.” “Am I or you K fool ?” routed the Ring. “Both,” replied Patrick, who was instantly taken to the guard-room, hut pardoned by the King afteT hft understood the facts of the Case. Tosh Billings says : “All you have to do to raise oats is to plow the land deep, then manure it well, then sprin kle the oats all over the ground, one in a place, then worry up the ground with a drag all over, then set up nites to keep lire chickens and wood chucks out Of tlif-riTj (Well f; ladle (hem together with a kradlc, then rake them together with a rake, then hind them together with a hand, then stack them up witlv a stick, then (liraMi th>m out with a flail, tuen clean them up with a mill, then shar pen both ends of them with a knife, then stow them away in the granary,- tlion spend wet days and Sundays trapping for rats Find mice. It ain’t nothing hut phitn to raise oats —trv it. —• mm * - —* The other day a young lady stepped into a dry goods estab lishment and inquired of the clerk attending-. ‘ Sir, have voa any mouse-colored gloves?” "Mouse colored gluves, Miss?” “Yes, a sort of gray, just the color of your drawers,” meaning the store draw ers, that wefe painted gray. “My drawers, miss ? why t don’t wear any,” A cab was seen leaving the store a few minutes after, with a lady in the corner, with a hand kerchief to her face. A hill to make penal the hiring of laborers before the expiration of the time which they have beeu hired: referred to Judiciary Com mittee. Use soft words aud hard argument