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herald. tVEKV WLONESDAV, BE 'Smesavarbrocgh. .. V I'EEPLES, Ee.itob. irlN OF SUBSCRIPTION. p * Alb S 2 00 *-' n> lop - three months W; !':’&£ rates are cash-payable =' jljs provisions. is ;3 °;: i V obtaining five subscribers, and J n - V 0 w n! receive a copy free. wishing their papers post-office to another, cG-' J '““he name of the post-office rvi-s V lt ; wis h it changed, as well :r"i!i they wish it sent. ADVERTISEMENTS. per levy $2 50 | e “ erlff rS fa sales, per square... 500 to dehtorfSd ;; .* 5 00 ...... 2 00 |i<:rjy notices-•••• • I w Sales of land, by administrators, I Mr, or guardians, are required by f ';, be held on the first Tuesday in the I between the hours of ten m the r “ ,„(] three in the afternoon, at I , Sow in the county in which I' niMnprtv is situated. _rv£e Of these sales must be given in ■ . gazette 10 days previous to the ■ ,; “\".ticc l to debtor-? and creditors of an ■cute must also be published 4u days. ■ Vl .,v e for the sale of personal proper ■tv J mll , t be given in !' k e manner, 10 days ■ previous to sale day ■ > v ,o, e (hat application will be made ■ mV' Court of Ordinary for leave to ■ ,„] must be published f.-r four weeks. ■ potions on letters of administration, I ~r . j unship, &c., must he published 30 ■I .... Ms dismission from administration, ■ j'Vbv. three months; for dismission ■ from guardianship, 40 days. ■" iV;; for the foreclosure of mortgages I punished monthly, four months ; ■ fore-üblishing lost papers, for the full ■ V. .' of three months ; for compelling Ip- , from executors or administrators, Are bond has been given by the de- Icased.the full space of three months. V.viff’s sales must be published for Fstray notices, two weeks. Publications will always be continued according to these, the legal requirements, uute otherwise ordered. ■ PROFESSIONAL CARDS. Ljl.j, WINN. WM. K. SIMMONS. \VIN T N & SIMMONS. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Lawhunceville, Georgia. Practice in Gwinnett and the adjoining [eoanflcs. * marlii-ly N. 1.. i l UTCI 1 INS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, I.AU'KENcSviU.E, GA. I’ractiiT ih the counties of the Western <' ieuit.and ia Milton and Forsyth of the I ILe Itiilge. mar 15-ly [TYI Till M. \ 3 KEI ’LLS, [ ATTORNEY AT LAW, lUtVKHNCEVILLE, GA I Practices in the countic3 of Gwinnett, I lliil, Jackson and Milton. Pension claims promptly attended to mar 15-6 m | J _ . N. GLEN N, ~ ATTORNEY AT LAW, luwp.ENCEVII.LE, GA. I 'A ill promptly attend to all business I entrusted to his care, and also to Land, llbantyand Pension claims mar 15-6 m DRS. T. K. & G. A. MITCHELL, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA., Respectfully tender a continuation of I or professional services to the citizens I generally. Keep constantly on hand a I It'd assortment of drugs and chemicals. I reseriptioos carefully prepared. I roar 15-ly V- -1. SIT AFI IE 11, M. IT. s Physician and surgeon, LAWRENCEVILLE, GA. I »iar 15-6nt B - F. ROBERTS, f Attorney at Law, ALPHARETTA, GEORGIA, I l 'c m a!l !’ usintss entrusted to I 111 die count' 16 B » e ?‘ d 8 e circuit; also I 'lid We t I6S - and Gwinnett of I extern circuit I IWg? mc Co '' 11 •H- Walker in I ‘gainst t!,f. r grants and Claim cases I "" ' MR-LINE house, 1 r . vor Street, near the Car Shed, ATLANTA, GA. I c - - Proprietor. ’ or Lodying, 50 Cents. I au glB-tf I ch ABLESTON hotel I charleston, s. c. Oav 24 ly Rt'ON. Weekly Gwinnett Herald. T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.] Vol. 11. For tbe Gwinnett Herald. Melancholy Reflections on Hearing of the Heath of Samuel Martin. BY J. T. E. If life itself is “but a span,” And few the wants of mortal man, Since Nutu e's calls are few ; Man’s great concern—absorbing all— When summoned to the final call, “Am I prepared to go?” The foetus, forming in the womb, Is germinatiog for the toinb As incident to all. Emerging from its embryo state, Life hangs suspended on the fate Contracted by the Fall. An inch of time some only have Between the cradle and the grave, \\ hile others have a span. Death was the sentence made to all, Entailed on Martin by the Fall— three score years and ten.” In “Nullification’s” darkest day, Contending parties—in array— Took sides as they thought best; The politicians of Gwinnett, At Lawrenceville, then often met— Friend Martin with the rest. Old Hosea Camp once took the Chair; Hutchins and Parks were speakers there, And Winn—who all are dead— Old Samuel Martin well sustained The principles he then maintained— And Henry Monger led. I heard their speeches and rejoined, In language of the Union kind— Which Monger did assail With Audrew Jackson to devise, And Henry Clay to compromise— The Union s'ill prevailed. Ah! when I let my mind recur. And backward cast for two score years— From thirty two to date ; And then—-as in advance—to scan, When two score more have come and •goue— Who can those truths relate. Of that vast crowd of Thirty-two Those who survive are but a few— Time cannot be restored ; When two score more shall have elapsed, Not one to tell the tale perhaps— Not matter of record. All these familliar things which are Will all be as the things that were— As in the days of yore. Live long or short, each has his day, Like Martin, each will pass away— Like time, shall be no moie. The debt, by nature due, is paid, \\ hv should we longer mourn the dead Who die with sins forgiven ? i We trust an evidence of this, j With ad his hopes of future bliss, Is now complete in Heaven. I Yicoky's Creek, Ga. From the St. Loui3 Republican. Gain on’s “Gife of Lincoln.” Ward H. Latnon, formerly United States Marshal for the District of Columbia, and a son in law of Judge Stephen T. Logan, an eminent law yer of Springfield, Ills., has presented the public, with a ponderous volume of five hundred and fifty pages enti tied the “Life of Arabam Lincoln, from his Birth to his Inauguration as President.” Fit is book will be very generally read, acknowledged to be a valuable contribution to our knowl edge of an eminent man, and at the same cordially condemned by a large proportion of intelligent people who are fortunate or unfortunate enough to possess a keen sense of the propri eties. Tiutb is a good thing, but it is possible to get too much of it, and there are some circumstances where ‘ ignorance is bliss,” and it is the stt premest folly to be wise. Mr. Latnon, however, does not comprehend this fact, and has .acted on the principle that nothing should be suppressed which could throw an atom of light or shade on the subject which he dis cusses. A warm personal friend of Mr. Lincoln, bound to him by ties of gratitude as well as of politics, and anxious apparently to make as fine a specimen of thedemi-god as the ma terial will permit, he has yet given us as ruthless and unsavory post mortem examination as can be found in the whole range of biographical literature. Were it possible for the illustrious dead to escape from the pondrous tomb at Oak Ridge, and revisit for a brief season the scene of his toils, trials, and triumphs, wo think tho first business transacted during the interval of resurrection would be a sound kicking adminis tered to the enterprising gentieraau who has written his life. Tho provocation for this kicking commences in the earliest pages of the book, and, with a few insignifi cant exceptions, continues through out the whole work. We are told, what might just as well have remain ed untold, that “there exists no evi dence of the marriage of Thomas Lincoln and Nancy llank% (the pa rents of the President) but that of mutual acknowledgement and corn- Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, July 31, 1872. bination;” that while Thomas Lin coln’s second marriage is perfectly recorded and verified by the minis ter’s license, no fragment of docu mentary proof can be discovered to establish the validity of the first. Furthermore, it is stated that Mr. Lincoln seldom or never alluded to his mother; seemed to have an in stinctive dread of reviving her mem ory in any way, and allowed her grave to remain in the condition it now is—covered with weeds and bri ars, and consigned to contemptuous neglect. Yet be tenderly loved bis step-mother, paid her the highest respect, and was always ready to make her the theme of enthusiastic j praise. In short, Mr. Lamon’s narra live does much to confirm, and noth- I ing to remove, the reports which ' have been in circulation in Kentucky I and elsewhere for many years past. | Judicious silence would have been | highly appropriate in such a delicate matter a 3 this. But when love affairs are brought under discussion, our biographer be comes even more garrulous and in discreet. There is no doubt that the first and only real love which Mr. Lincoln ever 'cherished was for Ann Rutledge, a modest, attractive girl of West Salem, whose stange, sad story was originally circulated in William 11. Ilernd on’s somewhat notorious lecture. When poor Ann, tired of waiting for MoNamar, her first love, and hardly willing to marry her sec ond, Lincoln, solved the embarrassing difficulty by going beneath the dai sies, this second lover actually took leave of his senses, and bad to be carried away to a cabin in the woods in order to recover bis mental equili brium. Yet within a year after an event which plunged him into a profound grief that was never wholly obliterated, lie paid Lis addresses to Miss Owens, and apparently was ex ceedingly anxious to marry her. The lady rejected him promptly, and be then writes a letter to M;s. O. 11. Browning, of Quincy, Illinois, carica turing bis inamorata in the most out rageous manner, and expressing bis views of' the intended alliance in terms seldom employed by gentlemen Not long after Miss Owens bad dis pen ed with his sei viceS, Mr. Lincoln again passed under Cupid’s yoke and laid his slightly battered heart at the teet of Miss Mary Todd. Latnon to the contrary notwithstanding, his affection for the person who was destined to bo his future wife appears genuine—at least at the beginning— and he unquestionably felt, as bis friends did, that he was making a brilliant match. But, while the en gagement was pending, Miss Matilda Edwards, a daughter of lion, Cyrus Edwards of Alton, Illinois, — not a sister of Ninian Edwards, as Latnon has it—came to Springfield and spread havoc among the susceptible cavaliers of the capital. Stephen A. Douglas and Joshua F. Speed both courted her and were refused, and Lincoln became so desperately enam ored that his friend Speed was oblig ed to take him to Kentucky, where he got rid of another attack of in sanity almost as desperate as the Rutledge lunacy. He never told his love to Miss Edwards and she after wards married the late N. I).—not Schuyler—Strong, a lawyer well known in St. Louis. When Lincoln returned from his sanitary expedition, he was undecided whether to espouse Miss Todd or allow that lady to choose a more congenial partner; but after breaking and mending tho engagement once or twice, he went one afternoon in November, 1842, to a Mr. Matheny of Springfield, and remarked to him, “Jim, I shall have to marry that girl!”—and “marry that girl” he did the same evening. Both husband and wife repented of the ill starred nuptials at their leisure. The biography deals as freely with Mr. Liucolu’s religious views as with his amatory exploits, and furnishes sufficient testimony to put him far beyond the pale of what is commonly caffed “orthodoxy.” In his early manhood he read Volney’s “Ruins” and Paine’s “Age of Reason,” ab« sorbed their arguments, and was ac customed to retail them out when ever a select audience could be gath ered. He wrote a book in defense of infidelity, which fortunately did not find its way into print, and when political ambitiou took bold of him, he was shrewd enough to drop a subject so damaging to his popular ity. But he never changed his prin ciples, though they may have been slightly modified. Herndon says em phatically, “He was ar. infidel—a iheist. He did not believe that Je sus was God, nor the son of Go! ; he was a fatalist and denied the free dom of the will. He told me a thou sand times that he did not believe the Bible was the revelation of God, “COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE!” as the Christian world contends. The points that Mr. Lincoln tried to demonstrate in bis work were ; First, that the Bible was not God’s revela tion ; and second, that Jesus was not the Son of God. Pages of similar statements are given, and thanks to Lamon, the theological status of the late President is thoroughly settled. The political career ot Mr. Lincoln is also presented in a new dress, and must astonish those who have here tofore believed him the embodiment of honesty, modesty, and unselfish ness. Houest he was, probably, as far as a professional politician can be; but a more ambitious, more cunning more thoroughly selfish political leader never flourished in this coun try—if we are to trust his biogra pher. An anti slavery man from conviction, he did not dare avow his principles until popular opinion began to set in that direction, and then went forward cautiously and anxious ly, feaiing all the while lest he lose his chances of advancement.— Not a particle of the martyr was there iu his composition ; he loved Rome much, but Caesar infinitely more. “He did nothing,” says La mon, “out of mere gratitude, and forgot the devotion of bis warmest partisans as soon as the occasion for their services had passed. What they did for him was quietly appro priated as the reward of superior merit, calling for no return in kind lie never wasted his power to ad vance a friend.” Not a very flatter ing picture this, of “the second Washington,”—yet its truth is as firmed by a multitude of witnesses. The moral of Mr. Lamon’s book may be summed up in tlie fatnilliar proverb—“No man is a hero to bis valet; no woman an angel to her maid.” Whatever dignity and gran deur there may have been dinging to Lincoln’s garments, is effectually removed in these curious chapters ; the idol is no longer either bronze or marble, but rather common day, and in some places badly smirched. The author of the emancipation proc.la mation lias contributed much to the historv of the nation, and secured for himself a liberal share of immortali ty ; but in those graces which adorn manhood, in those instincts which constitute true nobility of character, in those qualities which challenge the admiration and deserve the imitation of mankind, he was, for the most part, miserably deficient. ITow deli dent, we should not have known had not Mr. Ward 11. Lamon written his life. A yankee calling himself “Sam Hopeful,” who lias written some good things, tells right out in “meet in” why he never married after three attempts. He says : “I once courted a gal by the name of Deb Hawkins. I made up my mind to get married. Well, while we were going to the deacon’s I stept into a mud puddle and spattered tho mud over Deb’s new gown made out of her grandmother’s old chintz pet ticoat. When we got to the deacon’s he asked Deb if she would take me for her lawful wedded husband.— “No 1” says she. “Reason,” says I. “Why,” says she, “I have taken a misliken to you.” Well, it was all up then, but I gave her a string of beads, a few kisses and some other notions, and made it all up with her. So we went up to the deacon’s a second time. I was bound to get even with her this time, so when the deacon asked me if I would take her for my wedded wife 1 says, “No, I should do no such a thing.” ‘1 Why,’ says Deb, “what on the airth is the matter now ?” “Why,” says I, “I have taken a mis liken to you.” Well.it was all over with mo again, but I gave her a new apron aud a few other trinkets, and we went up again to get married. We expected that we would be tied so fast that ail natur couldn’t separate us; but when wo asked the deacon if ho would marry us he said, “No I shan’t do no such a thing.” "Why, what on tho airth is the reason 1” says we. “ Why,” says ho, “I’ve taken a misliken to both of you.” Deb burst out crying, the deacon burst out scolding, and I burst out laughing, and such a set ot busters you never did see ; and that is the reason I never got married. My chance has gone. A sweet “gitl graduate” ot a Mas sachusetts school recently told an examiner that “Esop was the au'hor of the Latin fables, covered with hair, and sold his birthright for a mess of potash.” “No cows, no ciearn,’ was the way ( an intelligent compositor set up the words, “No cross, bo down , Thurman’s Letter. The following is th letter of Sena tor Thurman to a gentleman of (), a brief synopsys of which was fur nished a few days ago by telegraph c W ashinqton , July 12. My Dear Sir : I assure you that it is not from want of respect that I liave not written to you sooner.— Yout letter ot May 18 was duly re ceived, but as you did not ask fur a reply I thought that you would not feel butt at my silence. I should have written to you, howevef, but for the following considerations ; 1 have been of the opinion for more than a year that to give us any chance for success in tho election next fall the movement indicating the policy and the man must eotne from the people and not horn the politicians, and es pecially that the Democratic mem bers of Congress should abstain from entering into any coalitions, and bom everyting that might look like dictating the course of the party. And this was the view very generally taken by the members. Individually, I preferred fighting under tho Demo cratic banner, with a straight Demo craiio ticket ; but I could not shut my eyes lo the fact that n great ma ny good Democrats were of a differ ent opinion. And lo me it seemed clear that any course that did not emanate from the masses of the par ty, would surely fail. Acting on this ptinciple I have not answered a sin gle one of the many letters that I have received upon the subject. Not that I was unwilling to express my opinions, or to take my share of the responsibility; but because, occupy ing the position I do, l thought 'it the part of wisdom and patriotism not to interfere with the formation of an opinion by the people—the only opinion that could he safely followed by the opponents of the Radical party. I condemn no man who took a different view of bis duty, but I think that time and events have shown that mine was correct. The nomination of Greeley and Brown hv the Baltimore Conven tion was the woik of the people. The politicians had very little or nothing to do with it. It was a tidal wave that swallowed up everything in its u*y. 1 lie true explanation of iL is that the people mean to have a change of Administration; and they will not let pride or prejudice stand in the way of success. Not that the Democratic party abandons its prin ciples; for it does nothing of the soit. On the contrary —alleging as it truly does that the course of the Radical leaders in the White House and iri Congress threatens to destroy all constitutional and democratic gov ernment —it is bound bv its pricipies to seek tho overthrow or those lead ers And it it cannot overthrow them in precisely the mode it would prefer it is but common sense to take the next best mode. Therefore, al though I would have been better pleased had our party unanimously resolved to make a straight Demo cratic fight, I am now (since the par ty has so willed it, and believing that the welfare and liberty of the coun try require the defeat of the present Administration) firmly resolved to work with earnestness and zeal for the election of Greeley and Brown. What else can a Democrat do who believes what lie lias been saying for years, that the continuance in powet of Grant and the Radical majority in Congross would endanger tho very existence of Constitutional Govern ment? What if Greeley has oppos ed the Democratic party —is it not better to elect a man who has frankly and openly opposed us in times past, hut who now, in many things, agrees with us, than to help to elect a rene gade Democrat like Grant, who was once with us, hut is now opposed to us in everything? We have to choose between these two men, or throw away our franchise by refusing to vote. But who is there willing to throw bis franchise away ? Who is there who places so little value upon it that he will not exercise it ? Who is there ready to acknowledge that he is so weak that he cannot make up his mind, and therefore will not vote at all ? I trust that no' Democrat will be found in any such category. Lot every man who hesi tates reflect that any change of ad ministration is likely to be for the better, and that certainly it cannot be for the worse. I am your friend truly, A. G. Thurman. A gentleman who had missed his umbrella for some time, a day or two ago found in a conspicuous place on Ins premises with the following in scription pinned upon it: “This um brella lias prayed on my konshens ever sin I stole bun.” [I” A YEAR, IN ADVANCE!. The Railroad Hog. j “This seat is taken, sir.” All of the Commercial readers who have traveled to any considerable extent are fainilliar with this formula.— It tells the story of the railroad hog —the small-souled mean, selfish brute who pays grudgingly sot one seat and ' strains his small wit to hold two. This particular hog wore a plug hat shiny with the genuine Boston gloss, an enameled shirt and closely cropped j iron gray beard. I know his kind, he is an eminently respectable beast who always pays his debts promptly, takes an interest in Sunday Schools, administrates Ins deceased brothot’s children out of their patrimony, is tho president of joint stock eompa nies and has biographical eulogies published in the newspapers when he finally kicks the bucket. 1 knew the hog lied when ho said “this seal is taken, sir,” and watched him to see how many times he would reproduce the falsehood. The coach was rather full, and, would you believe it, that miserable hog told sixteen separate and distinct lies in order to gratify lus mean selfishness—enough to have sunk a healthier soul to perdition, lie varied the formula; one tiir.o it was a wave of the hand and a look to the rear of the car to indicate that the holder of the seat had gone for a drink of water and would be back soon. Another time, to the inquiry of a mild-mannered timid questioner, he replied by a stolid stare, and then, spreading himself a little wider, he resumed the perusal of his newspaper. I was tempted to crawl up behind him and whisper into his ear, “You are an awful liar.” But I had my revenge. A big, red faced two-hundred pounder, in a dirty linen coat, came in at the way station, lie was sweaty to a fearful deg'oe. His feet smelt like Valeria mile of ammonia aud rotton fish, and his bieath was a hot, stinking siroc co, based on bad whisky and onions This tirey and fragrant behemoth preferred to settle himself in the seat that was taken. “This seat is” began the hog. “Well, I guess I’ll take it till tbo other fellow comes," returned the sweet smelling heavy weight, and down ho plumped, par tially crushing the hog in his descent. The latter frowned and began to bluster, but the red faced ruffian soon took that out of him with a threat to swallow him whole—to chaw him up and spit him out —to pitch him out of the window—to go through him like a dose of salts, and to make va rious other dispositions of him in case he didn’t simmer down. Our por cine friend simmered, and then tire barbarian grew good-humored. He told funny anecdotes, and poked the hog in the ribs, lie wanted to know w here lie come from and where lie was going. lie spat quarts of tobac co juice across him out of the win dow, spattering his shirt front, be tween his boots, on his valise and all around him. He offered him a “chaw” every time be took out his plug of navy. The hog perspired freely, and shivered with disgust. Finally he crawled out and stood up for forty miles, until another seat was vacated.— Oeo. C. Harding in the Cincinnati Commercial. - a —- The following is an editorial per sonal from the Now York Star : “If the young female in a blue tarleton overskirt with violet corsage, and black hair done up a la Frizelte, who sat in a box at Thomas, last night has as bad a cold to-night as she had then, and goes to the same place, will kindly carry a large pocket Laud kerchief with her, and use it, she will oblige an admirer. Snuffles may do for babies and sucklings, hut they’re played out in old girls.” - —-«•••*■ — A people may be known by its advertisements. In Pueblo, Califor nia, the prevailing amusement on Sunday afternoons is a “chicken dis pute.” In a recent number of tbe Colorado Chieftain the following an rounceraent was inserted among the “business notices “Money loaned in moderale amounts on short time. Pre emptors tliusly accommodated. Office near where Sam Uin’s game rooster got killed. R. K. Swikt <fe Co. m • m • m* A young lady who bad been great ly annoyed by a lot of young simple tons who stop under her window at night to sing, “If Ever I Cease to Love,” wishes us to say that if they will cease their foolishness, come in, and talk “business,” they will confer a favor. Here is another: A merchant ad vertised for a clerk “who could bear confinement,” and receivod an answer from one who had been seven years in jail. No. 20. deformities. .Some time ago a gentleman seeing a most extraordinary mass of deform ity wriggling about in the streets of London, accosted it and asked it how it managed to get a living. “Why, sir, I gets run over by the carriages ot the nobility and gentry, and they gives me compensation aud I does pretty well.” Recent experiences go to prove that a less hazardous course is now adopted, with the end and aim of obtaining the valuable stock in trade of a deformed figure. In an old house, situated in a secluded alley of Uigbgate, a northern stiberbof Lon don, the police are reported to have discovered an establishment for which the fainilliar “mangling done here” would be the most appropriate play card. “Messrs. Widis, Baton & Co.” — they adopt this style—Lave been here n, lively carrying on business as rnanglers and sham malady makers. I’ersons brought their children of tender years to have their legs twist ed and lie it hoiiis otherwise dealt with in the manner mostliktly to “diaw” from the pockets of the be nevolent. The tariff varied particu larly as to ago. Thus, a child under a year old could have its lit Lie, soft, malleable leg twisted tot the moder ale sum of seven dollars—while ten dollars was the charge for one six months older, and so on, l>v a gradu ated scale. Oilier injuries were charg ed for pro rata , but a child of lender years could be twisted in a manner satisfactory to the most greedy of gain for thirty dollars— exclusive of charge lor board. What arrange ments were made when the child died duting the process which was to make it so lucrative, is not stated, but no doubt they were of an equally satisfactory character. The other branch of the company’s benevolent operations was the fitting out of adult persons to gain their living for tbe day with sores, deformitie«, blindness, and where ladies were concerned, putting them into an apparently “in teresting state ” The existence of this most ingenious trade is surely another marvelous proof of nineteenth century progress. Athens and Home, even in their palmiest days, could not have produced its like. But perhaps Mr. Sumner’s extensive reading could set us light on this point.— N. Y. Times. Rates of advertising. si-ace J 3 mo’s. 6 mo’s. 12 mo’s. 1.-qiare a> ~nsr ?~6 (JO 10 00 ‘Jsqrs G 0(1 10 (JO J 5 oO 3 sqr’s 800 14 OO 20 (,(> H col. 12 00 20 001 30 0O h col. 20 00 35 00 j GO 00 one col. 40 00 75 00 | tOc (m The money for advertisements isTtlue on the first insertion. A square is the space of one inch in depth of the column, irrespective of the number of lines. Marriages uml deaths, not exceeding six lines, published Iree. For a man ad vertising his wife, and all other personal matter, double rates will be charged. A member of tlie Arkansas Legis isiature who goes for economy in public expenditure, in speaking of an extravagant appropriation, indignant ly exclaimed : “Gentlemen, yon talk about ‘adc.plate compensation of pub lic servants!’ Why, sir, during the late war I was in thirty seven battles, was wounded thirteen times in the cau<o of the b'outh, and the only pay I received was thirty dollars in Con federate money, eveiy cent of which l gave for one glass of old whisky !’’ - —— The modern woman when she has a nail to drive doesn’t wait for her husband to come home. She catch es hold of the nail as she would the hair of a recreant son, swings the hammer over her bead and plunges downward. Then she ties up her lingers as well as she can, puts on her Ixist bonnet, and goes light over to her mother’s for a good cry, and some tea. A gentleman in the vicinity of Philadelphia recently lost his wife, and a young miss of six. who came to the funeral, said to his li: tie daugh ter of about the same age : * Your pa will marry again, won’t he?” “Oh ye*!’* was the reply ; “but not until after the funeral.” m A lady teacher was endeavoring to impress upmi her pupils the terrible effect of the punishment of Nebu chadnezzar, saying : “Seven Tears he ate grass like a cow.;- When a boy asked : “Did lie give milk ?” •< 0m i A merchant put an advertisement in a paper, “Boy wanted.” Next morning he found a bandbox with an infant in it on bis doorstep, with this inscription, “Ilow will this one an swer ?” A gentleman advertise for a wife and received answers from eighteen hundred and ninety seven husbands, saying he could havetheirß. This is given as an illustration of the value of advertising. A California obituary : “The He eeasod was a talented man of roman tic nature, lie placed tbe butt of his gun in the fire, while be looked down the muzzle and depaited hence spon tintaneouilv."