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Bennett herald. ■ „ rn IVERT IVKDNESDAI, B 1 KeS a YARBROUGH. K .. M . rEEPLES, Editor. livEi «F WSCBHTIOX.^ ■ ' Fpy s ' x months H ‘ oP ?ptiSn rate? are cash-payable M ' ,r subscribers, and ■»«*to wishing it-"- r ,n r ~rs post-office to another, name of the post-office ■ ' r"l.j, iO” 1 - ■ AIA'EIVnSEMKNTS. go 50 ■.-agefii^f 5 ’ . . 5 (Id ■ 3 00 ■e »o*i ilan i; are 'r,oo ■of P 450 Imrsof e ; t ; ad 2 00 ter *or 3 QO |Ky notices. Hi , nf i an d. by administrators, m** Urn*’- *f«** ■"f u i on the first Tuesday in the t 0 be held hours of ten in the m- botW t three in the afternoon, at Bit-lie in the county in which BrS titte must be given in ■Hie" gLrtte 40 days previous to the ■oiice to debtors and creditors of an nlU ct also be published 40 days. ■ to for the sale of personal proper ■S be given in like manner, 10 days ■See 1 ’ will be made (' our t of Ordinary for leave to Bind must be published for four weeks. ■ aiion? on letters of administration, ■ : Lhin itc., must be published 30 H' for dismission from administration. ■;.' v , months; for dismission ■ imardiaiiship, 40 days. fur the foreclosure of mortgages ■ pn!.:shrd monthly, four mouths ; ■tahlishing lost papers, lor the full ■ „r three months ; for compelling ■ f r „ m executors or administrators, hmd has been given by the de- ; ■l.ihe full space of three months. •, S;l les must tie published lor v ijolices. two weeks. Kbmie will always be cmdmned ■ to thes". the legal requirements, .itlvrwise ordered. _.. -|i r~-~—** 'H.T® iIONAL CARDS. W.M. R. SIMMONS. x- SIMMONS. ; EVS AT LAW, u, (. PORGH vinnett and tlx- adjoining mar 15-1 y IUTCHINS, v’EY AT LAW, K, G A. counties of the Western [ilton and Forsyth of the mar 15—ly 1. PEEPLES, EY AT LAW, E, GA. e counties of Gwinnett, id Milton. is promptly attended to GLENN, EY AT LAW, «, GA. attend to all business care, and also to Land, ion claims mar 15-Gm G. A. MITCHELL, CEVJLLE, GA., ?nder a continuation of services to the citizens 1 constantly on hand a of drugs and chemicals, tarefully prepared. and surgeon, SEVILLE, GA. ROBERT sT” at Law, TTA, GEORGIA, all business entrusted to acHidge circuit; also uit Ha, l and Gwmuett of ? Col. H. TI. Walker in arrant* and Claim cases juU-Cm N E HOUSE, near the Car Shed, GA. H, . _ Proprietor. 50 Cents. ) Kr/KvfAgentß wanted. classes of working ,:^'; oun 4 or old, make k lor us in their spare ' u ‘ time, than at anv *or'a7i ,r v •• A,!,lress ( '- 0r and. Maine, [gep-l-ly Weekly Gwinnett Herald. T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.] Vol. JI. [published 11Y request.] ONE CROP ONLY. There came a man in days of old To hire a piece of land lor gold, And urged his suit with accents meek; One crop alone is all 1 seek. That harvest o’er my claim I yield, And to its lord resign the field. The owner some misgivings felt, And coldly with the stranger dealt; But found his last objection fail, And hurried eloquence prevail, Bo took the prollered price in hand And tor one crop leased out the land. The wily tenant sneer'd with pride, And sowed the spot with acorns wide; At first like tiny shoots tiny grew— Then broad and wide their branches strew, But long before these oaks sublime, Aspiring, reached their forest prime. The cheated landlord, mouldering, lay Forsaken, witli his kindred clay. Oh ye whose years, unfolding fair, Are fresh with youth and free from care. Should vice or indolence desire The garden of your soul to hire; No parly hold reject the suit, Nor let one seed the soil pollute. My child, their first approach, beware; With firmness break insidious snare, Lest as the acorns grew and throw . Into a sun excluding grove. Thy sins a dark o’orshadowing tree, Shut out the light of heaven from thee. The Fair Trial. The second trial of the notorious Mrs Laura I). Fair for the murder of A. 1\ Crittemlon ended on the last flay of last month in a verdict of acquittal. The theory of temporary insanity put forward with all art by hei counsel, and confirmed by a show of expert medical testimony, was accepted In the jury, which had been selected from a panel of upwards of seven hundred persons, by the well known process of sifting out those possessed of intelligence. Perhaps the only novelty in the now familiar plea by which this extraordinary ac quittal was brought about was the attempt to connect Mrs. Fair’s in pu.titv witli a trouble peculiar to bar sex—the same which Mine Goezmnn offered as an excuse for ievoking part of her testimony in her suit with Beaumarchais, and of the conveni ence of which, in all suits to which women are parties, there can he no doubt. To this wav ascribe some of the interest manifested hv the ladies in the court-room, who, when the verdict had been announced, and “two thin, white, chalk like wrists were clasped around Mr. Curtis’s neck, and a wreath of golden hair lay streaming on his breast and the little black figure lay in the arms of the strong man as senseless as a corpse,” rushed up and tendered their assistance. The public, nevertheless, particularly the California public, persists in being shocked at the re sult, and talks for the hundredth time of the necessity of amending or abol ishing trial by jury altogether. The rules which now govern it are cer tainly not adapted to the condition of society in which we live, and, if the institution is worth saving, the sooner they are overhauled the better. It may not be long he ore we shall come to the conclusion reached by some of the Italians, in view of the impossibility in the Romagna and other parts of Southern Italy, of obtaining conviction by jury for crimes of violence, that the jurv tiial should be restricted to the class of offences known as political. A few more cases like Maefarland’s and Mrs. Fair’s will help give a practical shape to the presrnt discontent with “the palladium of British liberty.” A flatter and more monstrous perver sion of justice than this instance the country has never seen, and the twelve men who allowed themselves to set free this murdering prostitute— anti indeed she is far worse than a professional prostitute —ought to feel the effects of public opinion — New York Nation. Good Fortune of a Georgia Boy. David Ro«-, a Macon by, who went to New Y ork soon after the war, has invented a match which promises to supersede all others in use, and lie has already refused $30,000 for his invention. — Chronicle and Sentinel. • <m>i To be tree from desire, is money ; to be free from the rage of perpet ually buying something new, is a certain revenue; to l>e content with what we possess, constitutes the greatest and must certain of riches. An Albany gentleman stumbled over a piece of ice on the sidewalk, knocked several teeth out and ran an umbrella down his throat. As it was drawn out lielore openiug ho will recover. It was a faithful saying of Tho reau, “Be not sonply good; be good for something.” -L&wrenceville, Ga., Wednesday November 6, 1872. From the Atlanta Constitution. The Great Western Canal. Pursuant to adjournment, a num her of citizens convened in the read ing-room of the Kimball House at 10 A. M. Col. 13. W. Frobel read portions of the report of the United States Sur veyor, Maj. McCalls, also the conclu sion of the report of Maj. McFarland, United States Surveyor, to which lie added instructive remarks. Resolutions offered by Gen. A. C. Garlington, expressive of confidence it) the success of the canal enter prise, and of congratulation to Gov. Smith in view of the proposed con vention of Governors of the States directly interested interested in it, and assuring them of a welcome to our city, was seconded by 001. S. B. Spencer. Remarks were mode by Gen W. S. Walker, calling attention to Port Royal, S. 0., as a terminus of the canal. William Goodnow, Esq , spoke of the efforts frequently made by the Northern States, especially lowa and Wisconsin, to have better water com rnunication with the East, and thought this project would meet their views anti receive their support, Major McCall a being call on, then gave his views as follows, substantial ly, viv ; When first connected with the enterprise as surveyor he thought it visionary, but those - views changed with belter acquaintance with the enterprise and route, until now lie regards it of vast benefit and its sea sibility established ; highly approved the proposed convention of Govern .ors. The motion being put, was unani inously adopted. It was, on motion of FL I’. Cham berlin, Resolved, Thai we go as a body to. Gov. J. M. Smith’s office and repre sent to him the resolutions, and con fer with him on the subjects em braced in the same. The Convention then repaired in a body to the office of the Governor, where they were received with as suranees of his hearty suppoit. He expressed Ins entire confidence in the final success of the enterprise, and would call a convention at an eailv day of the Governors of the States most directly interested in the move ment. • The Convention then adjourned, after the appointment of the follow ing committee to confer with Gov. Smith as to the best time for the proposed convention, viz : B. W. Frobel, A. J. Mcßride, G. W. Adair, T. M. Clarke, Maj. Camp bell Wallace, chairman. The committee reported the fol lowing resolutions; Resolved, That the construction of the Atlantic and Great Western Canal is a matter of deep interest, not only to the city of Atlanta and the State of Georgia, but to the whole country, and especially to that portion of it which lies along the Mississippi river and its tributaries Resolved, That the best inteiests of this City and State point to the strengthening of commercial ties with every portion of the Union. That we should neglect no legitimate means of extending our present trade relations with other sections, and that this can best be done by open ing a direct water outlet through our Stato from tho Mississippi to the Atlantic ocean. Resolved, That we heartily ap prove of the proposition of his Excellency James M. Smith to call a convention of the Governors of those States of the South and West more directly interested in the proposed work, and we pledge ourselves to co operate with him hilly in a move ment which promises so much mu tual benefit. Resolved, That we look upon this work as one of national importance, and one that merits and should re ceive the aid of the Federal Govern ment. Resolved, That the proposed con vention promises the inauguration of a new era ot peace and prosperity to our State; and that Atlanta hails with pleasure its meeting here, anil offer to its members a hearty wel come. Resolved, That we tender to hi* Excellency Gov. Smith our sincere congratulations upon this important movement, feeling assured that it is made in tho light direction and will result in great good to our Slate and people. Resolved, That the Governor be requested to call the proposed con vention on the 19th day of November next. „ Campbei.i, Wallace, Chir’n. 1 E. P. Cu.vmberi.ix, Sce’y. “COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE!" Ti.o Pretty Widow-! low John It reckon ridge’# Election in Kentucky Fixed njia Match. It was customary in former days 1 for all the ladies of the best families I to attend the prominent barbecues, \ ami this was especially the case in the contest between Mi. Breckenridge and Gen. Coombs, in 1849. Out of these affairs grew the audieiific story ot the nicest widow in the blue gt »ss region. Not far from tlie forks of Eikhorn lived the pretty little widow Fauntleroy, and one of her nearest neighbors was General Peyton. The General had looked upon the little widow very much as he had looked upon his blooded borse Powhatan, “the finest horse in the blue-grass region.”' The pretty Mirs. Fauntleroy had been a widow more than a year; while the General, having a great regard for etiquette, had waited pa tiently for that time to elapse, in order to declare himself. But the widow, with her woman’s art, kept her love at bay, and kept him in her train. He had escorted her to this barbe cue, and when returning had ex pressed his satisfaction at the pros of General Coombs and the success of the Whig party. The widow look sides with the Democracy, and offered to wager her blooded saddle horse, Gipsy, or any thing else on her place, against l’ow hattan, or anything else she might find on tiio General’s place. The General’s gallantry would not allow him to refuse the wager, which he promptly accepted. Bv this time they had readied the north fork of the Eikhorn, and were about to ford it (bridges were not plenty in those days), and John Peyton, the General's onlv son ami heir, came up at a sharp gait behind them. The widow turned and bowed to ■John, am! rode into the stream, but a little behind her companion. The ea u t bunk was very st-eep, and re quired the horses to put forth all their si l ength to reach the top w ith their loads. As luck would have it, good or ill, the widow’s girth broke when jii't at the commencement of the steep part The lady, still seated on her saddle, slid swiftly back into the water, while her horse shot up the hank like an arrow. John Peylon leaped from his horse and in an instant caught the limiting lady and saddle, and before the Gen eral had recovered from his astonish ment was at the top of the hank with his burden. The little .widow was equal to the occasion, for she begged the General to ride on and stop her horse, which had now begun to under stand his part in the mishap, and was beginning to increase his (fait toward home. The General did as he was bid, and soon returned with the hoiso. In the meantime, John Peyton had se cured liis own horse, and when the General came hack with the widow’s horse she and John were laughing merrily ■ ver the redienhun accident, but what further passed between them is onlv known to themselves. John Peyton repaired the broken girth, fastened the saddle again on the horse, placed the lady in her seat, bade her good evening, mounted his horse, and taking another road down the Eikhorn.rode rapidly home, leaving the General to escort the widow. It is not necessary to relate how lie entertained liis fair companion with his ponderous anecdotes of Mr. Clay and other public men ; but when he reached the Fauntleroy Place he accepted the lady's invitation to dismount and take tea with her. After having exchanged her wet clothing, the pretty widow enter tained her guests with her brightest smiles and some new songs. The General was delighted, and expressed his delight as Kentucky gentlemen of that day would do. “You are the finest songstress, madam, in the blue grass region.” When he bade her good night, and shook hands with her on the porch, the wicked little widow gave his hand a little squeeze, only a little, but it thrilled like an electric shock through his great, pondrous frame, while she laughingly reminded him of his wager. That night in his (Hearns, the little widow Fauntleroy was repeated so often, and in so many bewildering forms,that he resolved to propose to her at their first meeting, nor did he dream that lie could be refused. The next morning a letter from h.s tobacco factor called General Peyton to Louisville, and before bis return the political contest in tho Ashland district was over ; and, wonderful to relate, John C. Breckenridge, the voting Democrat, was elected to Congress. General lVvton vva- both aston ished and indignant “Mr Clay’s district, sir, die finest district in the blue grass region, has disgrace I itself, sir,” was almost his first remark to his tjeiguboi Colonel B aul’ort. To his son, John, be communicat ed ms intention of bringing Mrs. F.mitileroy to adorn the head of Bis table. “Sir. she is the finest lady in the blue grass region, and I hope, sir, you will always lespect your future mother.” John, with a quiet smile, assured him that he was pleased with his choice. This pleased the General highly, for he had been a little afraid John would object to a step-iuother younger than himself. The next morning {he general or dered Powhattan brought out, and led over to Mrs. Fauntleroy’s. Call ing John, he requested hi in to call upon Mrs. Fauntleroy.- “The Whig party has disgraced itself in Mr. Clay’s district, sir, and 1 am compelled to part with the finest blooded horse in the State to pay a wager with that lady, sir.” The black boy had led Powhattan to the hitching rail in front of Mrs. Fauntleroy *8 yard, and having tied him, had gone in the quarters to tell his colored brothers and sisters of their mistress’ good luck in having won the famous horse Powhattan. When General Peyton and John arrived they found the pretty widow and two voting lady friends in the yard admiring Powhattan. “Madam,’ said the General, to Mrs. Fauntleroy, “I have come, like a true Kentucky gentlemen, to pay tho wager 1 have lost. Powhattan, madam, is rightfully yours.” “But, General, I believer tho wager was conditional. It was the horse or anything else on the place, was it not.” “Madam, you are correct, ln;t 1 cannot permit you to select an ift lerior animal.” ‘You have another and superior animal here,’ replied the widow, blushing ; “your son, John, if ho wo dd but use Ins tongue ; 1 think I .'ball choose him ” The general lose, and his blandest maimer hade the ladies good morning. I’o John he said : “Sir, von will remain.” General Peyton never forgave his daughter-in-law her practical juke. In after years lie used to say : “Sir, she is the finest ladv in the blue grass region, but she lacks taste, ri O' ' sir.” Uncle Josh and the Deacon. Deacon 1) was very much interest ed in a revival that was taking place in the neighborhood, and, as a conse qtience, was continually urging his neighbors to “come over to the Lord’s side,” as he expressed it. He had frequently importuned an old neighbor of his—who was not par ticularly noted for his profession of religion, hut was nevertheless highly respected by all who knew liirn—to attend one of their evening meetings. Now the piety and honesty of the deacon was a matter of doubt among his fellow townsmen, and particulaily so with the old man above mentioned, who, for convenience sake, wo may call Uncle Josh After repeated calls, Uncle Josh consented t<> accompany the deacon to one of the meetings, and accord ing! v accompanied him to the “school bouse” one evening, much to the surprise of all present. In the course of the evening the deacon arose with a penitential countenance to tell his experience. He was the prince of sinners, lie said. If he got Ins des erts he would he banished forever from divine favor. After making: himself out to he all that is vile ac- j cording to his interpretation of “he j that humbleth himself shall be ex- j ailed” he sat down with the sublime ( sense of having done his duty, and asked uncle Josh if he wouldn t tell his experience. With some reluc tance he meekly arose amid the breathless attention of the assembly. It was an unknown occurience for Uncle Josh to speak in meeting. He said he had listened with great inter- j est to the remarks of the deacon, and he could assure the brethren that, from his long acquaintance with him, he could fully endorse all the deacon had said concerning his meanness | and vileness, for lie was c ertainly the meanest man he ever knew The wrath of the deacon was terrific. He 3x>ok his fist under Uncle Josh’s nose, and exclaimed. “You are a con founded liar, and I’ll whip you as soon as I get out of church ! Twelve young ladies were baptised | on Sunday last m J’orsjlh. [s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE. Free Blow in an Omnibus. In Nevada, there u*ed to he cui rcnt, the story of art adventure of two of her nabobs, which may or may not have occurred. 1 give it for what is worth : Col. Jim had seen somew hat of the world, and knew more or less of its ways ; but Col. Jarrh was from the back settlements of tint State,- and had led a life of ardnrous toil, ami had never seen a city. two. Messed with srfdd*n wealth, projected a visit to New York, —Col. Jack to see the sights, and Col. Jim to guard his nnsophistication from misfortune. They readied San Francisco in the tvight, and sailed in tha morning. ArfiteU in New Yolk, Col. .Jack said: “I'vo beard tell of carriages, all my life, and now 1 mean to have a ride on one; I don’t care what it costs, Como along.” They stepped out upon the side walk, and Col. .Jim called a stylish barouche. Hut, Col. Jack said : “No sir I None of your. Cheap- John turnon is for mo. Tin here to have a good time, and money ain’t any object. I mean to have the no Idest rig that’s going Now here comes the very trick. Stop that yaller one with the pictures on it— don’t you fret—l’ll stand all the ex penses myself/’ So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus, and they got in. Said Col. Jack : “Ain’t it gay, though 1 Oh, no, I reckon not 1 Cushions and windows and pictures, till you can’t rest. What would the boys say if they could soe us cutting a swell like this in New York ? By George, I wish they could see us.” Then he put his head out of the window and shouted to the driver : “Say, Johnny, this suits roe I—suits yows truly, you bet, you t I want this shebang all day. I’m on it, old man ! Let ’em out! Make ’em go! We will make it all right with you, fTOiiny f” The driver passed his had through the strap hole and tapped for his fare —it Was bes >fw the gongs canto into common use. Col. Jack took the hand and shook it cordially. lie said ' “You fvVtrg me,. old ward 1 All right between get t». Smell of that, and see how you like it ?” And lie put a twenty dollar gold piece in the driver’s hand. After a moment the driver said he could not make change. “Bother the change ! Hide it out. I’ut it. in your pocket. ” Then to Col Jim, with it sounding slap on Ids thigh : “Ain’t it style though ? Hanged if I don’t lore this thing every day for a week.” The omnibus stopped and a young !h<lv got in. Col. .lack stared for a moment, then nudged Col. Jim with- his elbow : “Don’t say a word,” lie whispered. Let her ride if she wants to. Gra cious, there’s room enough.” The young lady got out her porte i monnaie, and handed her fare to Col. Jack. “What’s this for f” said lie. “Give it to ti e driver, please.” “Take back your money, madam. We can’t allow it. You’re welcome to ride here as long as you please, hut this shebang's chartered, and we can’t let you pay a cent.” “The girl shrunk into a corner, bewildered. An old lady with a basket climbed in, and proffered her fare. “Excuse me,” said Col. Jack, “You’re perfectly welcome here, mad am, don’t he the least hit uneasy. Make yourself just as free t»s if it was in your ow n turn out.” Within two minutes, three gentle men, two fat women, and a couple of children entered, • Come right along, friends,” said Col Jack *, “don’t mind us. This is a free blow-out.” Then ho whis pered to Col. Jim : “New Nork ain’t no sociable place, I don’t reckon—it ain’t no name for it!” lie resisted every effort to pass fares to the driver, and made every body cordially welcome. The situa tion dawned upon the people, and they pocketed their money, and de livered themselves up to covert en joyment of the episode. Half a dozen more passengers entered. “Oh, there’s plenty of room,” said Col. Jack, “walk right in and make yourself at home. A blow-out ain’t worth anything as a blow out, unless a body has company Then in a whisper to Col. Jim, “nut ain’t these i New Yorkers friendly ! And ain’t I they cool al»out it, too ? Icebergs j ain't anywhere. 1 reckon they’d j tackle a hearse if it was going their way.” More passenger* got in ; more yet, and still more. Loth seats were KAJRS OF ADVERTISING. sr-scs 7» mo’s. C, mo>. n mo's. inquire «■ 4 on « t> tut £1 o 2 sq’m f. no lo Oil 1.5 O o :t sqr’a 800 |,j oO op l)f f M col. t” I*o ini oo rto ori % col. so oo ctf. oo j no off one col. 40 00 75 Oo J lot* 00 The money tor advertisementslsTYluc on tne first insertion. A wpiarc is the space of one inch in depth of the column, irrespective of the manlier of lines. Marriages and deaths, not exceeding six lines published free. For a nmn ad vertising ld« wife, and all other personal matter, double rntes will lie ehanred. No. 34. filled, and a file of men w< re stands ’ n g 11 1‘. holding on to the cleats over head. Parties with baskets anil bun dles were climbing up on the roof/ | Hail suppressed laughter rippled up from all sides “Well, for elean, e-01, out and-out) elioek, il this don’t bang anvtliing I ever raw’, Pm an Injun” whispered Col. Jack. A Chlfiamrn crowded his wav in. “I weaken !” said Col. Jack “Hold on driver ! Keep your seats, ladies and gents, .first make yourselves free—everything’s paid for. Driver,, rustle these folks around as long as they’ro a mind to go—friends of ours, you know. ’Jake them evervwheres —ami if you want more money, come to the St. Nicholas, ami we’ll make it all right. Pleasant journey to yon, ladie* ftficT gents- go it just as long as you please—if shan't cost you at cent.” —Murk Ticain. Stop my Pater. —Every publisher of a newspaper has heard this tre mendous oTdef from offended sub scribers, imagined by the offended to be as dangerous ns a stroke of light ning, but in reality more harmless! than a mostpirto bite. A good story is told bv the Philadelphia Post of Mr. Swaim, the former proprietor of the Daily Ledger. My bis course oif some public question, on which elsf ferent pefsofts had different opinions, Mr. Swaim had offended a number of bis readers, one of whom met him off, Ch-estfifi't street, and thus accosted him “Mr. Swaim, I’ve stopped (her Ledger.” “What is that, sir f “I’ve stopped the Ledger,” was the stern reply. “Ts it possible !” said Mr. Swaiin. “My dear sir, what, do you mean? Come with me to the office.” And taking the man with him, her entered the office at Third and Chest nut street. There they found the’ clerks bnsy at their desks; then they ascended to tlio editorial ahd con*-' posing rooms, where everything going on as usuai ; finally they de scended to the press rooms, where the engines were at work. “I ihoffght you told me you had stopped the Ledger,”sail! Mr. Swaim.- “>o J have,” said the offended subscriber. “I don’t s>eo she atoppnge. The Ledger seems to be going on.” “Oh ! I mean to say—that is, that I—«lr had stopped taking it.” “Is that .'“.Ilf” exclaimed Mr. Swaim. “Why, my dear sir, you don’t know bow you alarmed me.” I (sully Mixed. “What's the matter, Bob?” “Sam, who am 1 ?” “Why, you ate yourself, Dob liar-' rison, ain't vow ?” ‘ No, far from it.” “Why, what’s the matter?” “Welt, sir, I’m so mixed up I don’t know who l am." “Don’t take it so hard to heart.” “I ain’t; I’m taking in my hand kerchief ,‘Well, sir, what’s the matter T 1 “Why, I am married." “Married? ha! ha! ha! why, sir, you should l>e hippy.” “Yes, but I ain’t." “Why, all loomed men are sup posed to he happy.” “Yes, but how many are so?” “Well, sir, as f said before, don't take it so hard—tell ns nil about it.” “Well, Sam, i’ll tell you how it is. You see, I married a widder, and this widder had a daughter.” “Olives! I s*e how it is. You have been making love to this daughter.” ‘No ! worsG»*’.inn that. You see, my father was a widower, and he married this daughter, so that makes mv father my son-in law, don’t it ? Well, don’t you see how l am mixed up?” “Well, sir, is that all P “No, I only wish it was. Don’t von see, mr stepdaughter is mv step- 1 mother, ain’t she ? Well, then, her mother’s mother i« my grandmother, ain’t she? Well, I am married to her, ain't I ? So that makes me my own grandfather, doesn’t it?” “Ah, Mr. Simpkins, we have not chairs enough for our company,” said a gay wile to her frugal husband.— * Plenty of chair*, dear, but too much company,” replied Simpkins, with a knowing wink. It was rightly said, “He who in* struct* a man, instructs a person who will die to morrow, bnt he who teaches a woman, teaches a whole generation.” -m • Half the Borrows of women would be averted if they coaid repress the speech they know to be useless nay the spe* eh they had resolved not to utter.