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THE WEEKLY GWINNETT HERALI). ■ X KKKJM.M, i I<u Ks.iPItIKTUK I ■ Tbs p!T HSRALD fcfk ** UR*W\ *' Leplesj^bowles. E jf mFT»<>N KATES : Eh] km., *1 50 in advance. lIL .75 in advance. Rbo.-’ .50 in advance. I SgoU| ii for Everybody I -AS Bjrrrfi«<*<</ Medium I dXfiAI.D in untquuled fiy Eo; ill extensive circulation and ■ i|i(v ioui rutt». business men B undviinr tbit- E*g BL Al'S* '• J v Kuii.vbin^ 11 lISALE AT T H E msjl> d< i I Jttli it Is i COIN I Y IHKKCTORY l OLIY SMITH, Mator. I COUNCIL. I Utwrc fc 0 Hrrriu, W K Biuwn Pni> l|Til I>C BKfAMUms OK TRAIN Ki«I[0B Suwanocc. 55a p m K n lor So waiim-e, ” » ui llil. AN# OKfiKtURK OF MAILS. I***-Arnvm 12 in. depart* 1 lit roc a) tod lhurtduy |h,mdroit - Departs 6am »r ■jut. MouOa) and I huitday Arlivre 111 t m. de ■ f U-Uaii;. Hpt Bits* Arl it*» 1 2 ill. de |t i b„We ioetdty sod Saturday ■ whhabyey.pm B OaUICBRS Hncut -B, t J H Kuig, Paator BTiw tb« Ist and 3l b Sundays Hl.t **cbo. x A I' Pat til 10, Supt at 3 pm Hpmiis -Hrv .1 K Me t lellaud. Strut iuu 2 u4 and 4th Sundays south Siuooi I H I',,well. Supl Siuday at 9.30 a ur ■hlkiiija Masonu- bonius. it ■ >.* k SA liaguoil, S VV„ ■*or brio t lull moon in each ■II Spruce. II P, a T Patlillo, Friday nifht belort* th<- tach month. SicKRiOK Court—N. 1.. ConvpueH on tlu- lat March and Seplenrlrer. H COt’NTT Omi RRS. IWlti N Heunclt, Jefferson Hi it t, J d K Cloud. M Patterson. BiirlT'-J T l.amkiu. |u S C—l> T Cgin, BM.r:iva»..(j_vv Pbarr. (’ l.oweiy. R \ Kohinson hLfniff, Ml rn mitlv Imui.-il in i;min ■ „ ‘ hi- prufeKHiouiil *** ruynii iulk Iu tile I nixi-ii- H* llloU lIJ 1,11 calls will lie i i“ Kl * '*■ >il I lie l'e~l lHfii -Cliio Pa’in Loans. ■'*■)*»! loniiH on improved W n ‘ Middle and Northern B *S°tmted on cheaper ■•"‘‘Muy onein Atlanta ■'HANCIS FONTAiNE, B Fitter Building, Hriiiuu Atlanta Ga. iNtli.-lmo. inEm 'A 1 1 7 / / aw -y will open the Globe MV Uwrem'eville, for the uc mT* o ’ l of ib« *'* P r ®P*‘fed to off er first H _ _ patronize the I House. l ltoL AJ ' r - hatks. ’Ba— t s. B — —: lltCTf& > ** ■ KiP« m “* 4 ' MISCF.LI.ANY A ft OH AMS l'A li U , Agaiuet the faded rose—color ut a vanishing sunset, the clear protile of a fair, young f«ce was sharply outlined The hair that blew and clung about the low. white forhead was full of shining waves, but the smooth, satiny cheeks were per fectly colorless, the lender but h<m lips weie drooping sadly, and the soft, pansy eyes were fixed far i away upou the sea "Allegrx ! ’ 9uid a wooing voice In her ear; and a strong arm drew bet gently into a lever's embrace. “Allegra. you cannot tell me *hat again!” VT iik a sudden movement the girl turned, and ciasping her arms about the neck of her han d some lover, she hid her face up on his breast. “Oh, Julian !” she cried ; why do you make it so hvrd for me? I must—you know I must! Father :s old ai d fteble. You know how fond he is of home. I' would kill him to take him away offto Aus tralia ! ’ “Nonsense ! It would do hiu. good. I promise you, Allegra, he shall have eve - y possible care i am no: a rich man, you a know , dear, but now the firm has of feied me /hit* position in Melborue I can afford to marry provided," he added, reproachfully, “the wo mau 1 love will consent to leave her home and fellow my fort unee” “It isn't that, Julian—ob. you know it isn't 1 How can you bs so oraslT If it wasn't for father, I would go with yon to the desert of Sshsrs; bat I cannot leave him and ha m too aid to go with os. ” ‘Then you positive]y refuse*" said bar lover, sharply, unclasping her arms from about his neck and putting ber away coldly. She looked at him a moment with ber eyes full of a haunted fear, rut she usver wavered. “Yes, I refuse!” she said, fum ing away to hide the tears that had begun to ttickle down her cheeks “I cannot marry you, Jul ian.'' ‘So be it!” he answered rough ly, aH be vheeled about. And this is a woman's love and faith !” He threw back bis handsome head, and laughed scornfully. That laugh stung Allegra's pride. “Yes," she said, coldly. “ZTtis is a woman's faith “You might at least bavt trust ed me. I never should have ask ed you to do any thing that would have hurt your father." “You are net in a position to judge what is best for him. Ju lian.” “Perhaps not ; but I know thi«> Allegra—if you hail loved me, you could not have done it so eas ily ” “Easily !" she echoea, laying oue baud on her heart. ' How lit tie yon know!’’ U% took just o«e step toward her. “Darling!” he said.bese ebiugly “do not be cruel. Can nothing change your purpose ?" •Nothing," she answere t. sail ly “Please don't ask me any more, Jul’an. I cannot bear it You had better go away." “Yes, I will go away,” he said drawing back again angrily. “Yon | shall never see me again, and if my life is rmned. Allegrii, you will be to blame.” “Julian, do not part from me ir. anger,'' >l.e said “You ntver loved me. Allegre,' i lie answered. "You cannot guest whui this means to me Good by! I good-by !” “Julian!” she cried, and held out *ter hands to him. craving a last kiss, a last word of love; but he turned away and left her stand j ing there, with the misery of a lift time compressed into that moment f of parting. “Good-by!” she sobbed. "Oh, I if yon knew how I lore you. Jnlieu yon would not be »e cruel!’ “So* is beart-lr-s: ” bet level auntvred «» he strode awsv. ‘‘lt 1 is not her lather that separate* us. She does not love me well enough i 'ofo.” Lawrenceville Georgia, Tuesday August 12 1884 The long wretched uight that followed ibis parting foresbsdow ed aa eventful day. Julian Ware had been the confidential hook beeper iu a firm ot which his un cle was the senior partner When he went to business next morning he found the office iu a terrible state of excitement. Simeon Ware s name had beeu forged to a cheque for fifteen hundred dol lars, and the criminal was still undetected. For several days Julian interest ed himself iu the search for the felon but a little trifie revealed to him the fact that he himself was suspected and watched. "I will not submit to this indig nity !” he said to his uucle when he laid the mailer befor him “My dear boy,” said the old man. heart brokenly, “I wish to heaven you need uoi.” “Good heavens!’’ cried Juliau. excitedly, “you do uot mean to tell me that this opiniou has gained any credence outside!” “Calm yourself, Juliau! Calm yourself, I beg of you. Mv poor boy, 1 have beeu trying to hide his from you. It is a most un fortunate business, but the real culprit may l e found. 1 will not leave a stone uu urued.' “Put uncle —” “I do not believe you guilty, Julian; but the world does uoi know you as 1 do. Cheer up, my boy. It will all couie right by aud-by. *’ “Mercilul heaven!’’ the pool fellow cried, “I cannot bear this, too. Fate was cruelly unkind to him. The weeks passed, and the forgery could not be fixed upon any one, but Julian walked under the shad ow of it. It was about this time that the following statement appeared in one of the daily papers : . “We regret to learn that the book-keeper of a certain well known firm of th s city has been discharged under the suspicion of forgery. A relative of this uu fortunate young man, who firmly believes in bis boDesty, lias en deavored to get him started in business in a foreign port,'but be has refused to accept the prefer ment.” When this appeared, Julian was lying ill of a wasting fever. They thought he would die, but became back from the borders of tbe grave to struggle with the lead of misery that seemed to be crushing him. Oue day. when he was getting better, he opened his eyes after a long sleep, and saw Allegra sitting at his bedside. “Why are you here ?” he asked, putting out his hand doubtfully > a fter the first thrill cf joy. “Becan je I love you,” she an swered. “I never intend to leave you agaiu, Julian." “Don’t say that,” he cried. ‘You must go away at ouce, Allegra.— This is no place for you " “I will not go," she cried, pres sing her lips to his wasted bands. “Once I refused to marry you, Ju liau; but uow I have come to ask you if you will not make me your wife this very*Bay.” “Allegra, are you mad ! Would yon marry me with the suspicion of felody on me ?” “Do you think I believe you guilty *" she cried, with shining eyes. “Julian, I know you are iu nocent, and that is enough for "God bless you,” he mnrmnred, brokenly; aud a hot tear rolltd down his white cheek. Allegra stooped aud kissed it away. “Don't, refuse me, Julian ! she answered. “I love you ?o. “But 1 urn no* only disgraced, lam poor I have /oat my posi tion I will not go to Australia. I have determined to stay here, aud wait for the truth to manifest itself. My life will be lonely and hard—” “Do you tbiuk l care for pover Iy or loneliness with you* Oh, Julian, how little yon know mj heart! M»k* ».» jonr wife sow. There ir u place ut home for us both. We ervi work Sgelhei, J.d oy-aad by—’ “No, no, dsrliug ! Don t you see that you have opened ike gates DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE AND LOCAL AFFAIRS [of heaven for me ? But I muet turn away. My bright, beautiful Glegra. I could uot make you the wife of a naan whose honor i B under a cloud.” “But i wish it !’’ she urged ea gerly. “Once you upbraided me, J uliau, tor refusing to marry you wheu there really was no obstacle, and uow you want au idle senti ment to separate us. 1 love tr.d trust you with mv whole heart Please take me! I need ysu, Ju lian. Father will not live very long, and then—” Julian's arrnv were around her, protecting even in their weak uess. “My angel !' he whispered. - “How cruelly I have misjudged you ! Would you make this sac rifice for me ?’’ “Gladly! washer swift retpeuse “Ait, Juliau! after all you know veiy litileot a woman s faith.” His love was too siroug for his resolution, and Allegra's will tr> umphed over all. As aoou as he was well they were married, aud went to live in the cozy iittle cottage where A 1 legras father dreamed away the twilight of Lis life. The world raid kind things of the young couple, mid Julian Ware had “borne his faculties so meek," that, long before the truth came to light, public opinion was reversed in his favor. There came a glad time, howev er, when ilie shadow of crime was removed from Ins path. A bur-, glar, shot while breaking into a bank, confessed the forgery of which Julian was sus jected. But Julian never forgot that two yens’discipline, though ho says it was wor b all the suffering he endi red to have snch proof as he h« s hod of bis sweet wife’s love and devotion. Old Mr. Lloyd died the yegr af ter they were married, aud, when Juli.n stood before tbe world once more us a man whose honor could not be impeached, be was free to accept his uncle’s offer of the position at Melbourne, with twice the original salary. Allegra went with him of course and they are new the leaders of the most bri'liant aud wealthy so ciety of the beautiful Aus'xalian metropolis. The far Mrivere sail tlevtrser (ievvlsstf The strike yesterday among the drivers of ihe “cross town" line of horse curs in this city affords a practical illustration of tbe real service that Governor Cleveland did the overworked and under paid car drivers aud conductors of Aew York in vetoing the so called “Car Drivers” bill, aud for which lie has been abused by Mi- Mills’ Tribune and other Blaine "eorpoiation orgass These men un the cross town lines are puid by the trip, being allowed the priucely sum of four ! teen cents per inp. The trips, it seems, have been lessened in dis- ! lance, wheienpon the company promptly cut, the men down ia pay, the cut being in exact propoy lion to the time the men wop«£ have otherwise gained by tu shortei trip. The operation of the bill that Governor Cleveland vetoed would have lweu exae*-ly similar’ to ibis. I It reduced the present day’s work of fourteen or sixteen Lours Wu I the horse cars le twelve hoif§u.-.1 As the men are paid by trip the only effect of shortening th? number of workiug hours us iheir day would lie to lessen the num b*r of trips. To lessen the num her of trips would be to lessen th« number of times (hey could earn fourteen cents, for they ere paid by tAe trip. AY ere the men paid by the day the bill would have been a benefit to them. As they are paid by ike trip it could only have operated, if at all, to reduce tueir present sea* ty earnings.—i-N Y Herald. She—“ Only give up, smoking fer one year end I have uo doubt you will never touch tobrcco a -1 gain.’ tie—“ Well, I don’t know: I did not smoke once for fifteen years, and then 1 hegyn' **»J cujoyed i’ ' hugely-’ t “For fifteen Veer* ! Von i»U-:t ( have beeii very young when yon \ couimewced, “I was fifteen Nseis tlr Apartutruls It is the geueial prac ice to | open uott the lower (.art of the windows of a room m veu ( il»tuig it, wheieas if the upper parts were slso opeutd. the object would he speedily effected. The air in an appartment is usually heat ed to a higher temoeratuie than the ontei air. aud it is thus ren dered lighter, and as the outer air rushea in, the warmer aud lighter air ie forced upward, a«d, tindiug no outlet remains iu the room. It a candle be held in a doorway near the floor, it wil! be found that the dame will be blown inward, but if it he raised uearly to the top of the doorway, it will go outward ; the warm air ttowiug out at the top, while the cold air flows iu at the bottom. A cur rent of warm air from the room is generally rushing up the flue if the flue be open even if there should be uo fire iu (he stove, therefore open fireplaces are the best ventilator; we can have for a chamber, within arangenieut ij chimney near the ceiling i—Philu del/,hiu Cull. Wealthy Farmer—“ Who was that ragmufiin I saw you walking with this afternoon on the street ?” Daughter—“A veiv uice young man.” “A nice young mau ! I should think so Why bis clothes were all torn, and his face and hands were very dirtv.” “He can't help that. He has just fiuished a job, and hadn’t had time to change his clothes." do you consent to make an equal of a common day laborer !’’ “He is no day laborer." “What ia her “A plumber's apprentice.” “Oh, that makes a difference. I'm glad to see you appreci ite true nobility. Auk him around to din ner. I should like to meet him.” A young lady of Dalton was awakened from ber slumbeis the otner night by a feeliag of intense dread and a premonition of dan ger. Before retiring she had left the lump burning low aud the apart meut was dimly lighted .Suiin fascination drew her eyes to the opposite side of the bed, and to ber borrow', she saw the uncan ny coils of a scukc, perhaps a foot and a half loug. reclining on the white coverlet, with its basilisk •yes fastened upon her. When ilisfoved ho reptile glided swit'ly and silently away, but left the y* ung lady in such a Date of ter rol ihat sleep loiscok her eyes for tbeiert of the night. The limbs of a trie, interfaced with honeysuckle vines, gtew near die wiuu w of u loom and. it is s p posed, by this means the snuke ef fected an entrance in search of l.ts and in.ee. t)u lust Saturday our town was (r.cttd to tl.suovtliy of seeing u boy w Iking ou bis Lauds, aud a carious crowd gathered around him. He was rather reticent in regard to his stHictiou, tint con versed freely upon other topics. mm as bo; n wit Bout legs, uud wall on Iris hands fnun nffessity lii>-ngd an,i h are pertic in -dupe. tin ugh the Infer are kir *er than us iis I ftmube of his years- His Inn Is extended halo# the ex t reunites oflijs body. and will them he can ketp pare with any gnrdiimry walker. Hs was three ot fo#tr years old Ollure be could walk at all, but lie is now ab. ut tiltcob and bceius to move along ns easily as if he were wulking on legs. He can play ou the vio'in and do other little things which do not require him t ■ move, //is name is John Miller and his horn* is ne«r Beeves station, in this ct un ty. —-Calhoun Times: ’rt wn» at the race tract. Litile j Miss Dutiful wus there with her ■wdher, i nd ttsl,ie>itniant J ckpoi . of ths army, went by Miss Dutiful ejaculated . “Oh, there is Liisntenani Jack pot ! How handsome he is !” “Yes,” replied her Kentucky ‘ mother, “he i» just like some race horses.” “Why, what do yon wean t” qnerried ths dangbier. “/me*Tt. /Hat h« i* Haadva,,,. and fast * *•••• il raios eli»« on the jO"l and un just, bu’ oe the jn* l mainly be cause the unjust Lavs borrowed their umbrellas. A d««l spectacle A woman iu a semi intoxicated condition accompanied by oue who was “beastly di uuk " was seen rid iug around Ihestree's in a buggy yea t* rday A few weeks back oue of these women was the recipient of the the charity aud kindness of the christiau people of our com munity 'iper- promises to lead a belter life. Christian ladies lurn jshed herself and children the nec essities of liteaed many >f its com forte, aud interested themselves iu their behalf. .She uow rewards their kieduesses ty returning to old habits, 'Tis sad enough fur a man to thus debauch himself, hut doubly so for a woman whom it was thought had escaped f r om the miserable sale that awaits her if she still pursued iu ihe course which she is now.—-'Banner Watch uian. In response to a sign of “Boy Wanted” a lad about 12 years <jf age applied for a position in n Michigan avenue store. The pro prietor liked his locks and decided to take nitn, and after some gener j 1 explanations and observations asked; “What is your first name I' “Henry.” “Very well: I shall cull you by that.” “Ahutisyiur lirst name!7 asked the toy. •‘Wtiy *” “Oh, I think it’s altogether the best plan to call each other by our first names. It saves time, and you don't get folks mixed up. You can calf me Hunk, and if your name's William i cau shorten it half a lod.” The boy hasn't begun work yet- In fact the man has installed a lad in the place who takes plenty of lime to “Mister” him and give the full name.— M. Quad. “Do you see that muc !’’ “Yes—the tall, handsome mat at the bar ?” ‘‘That is Roscoe Conkling!” “Indeed ?’’ “And he is drinking u milk punch !” “So he is but wli at of that !’’ "What of that ! Why bless yon mail, its significant—it's a dead painter!’’ “How so ?” “Why it means he has deserted the Republican party uu 1 will vote for the Demociutic nominees. Bray excuse me a moment while I run around and tell the news to the Associated B>ess and to the reporters. A Washington letter writer says Seuutor Vance likes u joke, and re lutes the following : One day when lie was Governor of North Carolina, it is said that he was riding on horseback along u road about ten miles from the capital when a stranger overlook him. The two meu fell into ion versaliou and the stranger 'old Vance he had been to Raliegh to see the Governor aud that he hud called at his huuee but he whs not at home. “Did you see the Governor’s wife 1" asked Vance. “Yes,” was the reply, “Aud did you nut kiss her !” The mau very much astonished replied : “No but she was very pretty an 1 I shonl I like noth ing belter.” “Well I’ve kissed her," contin ued Vance, “and I never meet her but that I do so," uud thereupon, alter enjoyiug the man's astonish rueni for a moment he told him that he was the Governor. Pills made from a preparation of nitro-gly-oirme will cure heart dibeuse. So bays a medical jour- 1 nal. That mtro-cly-cerine will! effec.ually rid a persornot only of heart disease, or any other ail ment, ia not questioned. Ii will remove the patient as far from lh> , disease as necessary to cflV-ctually relief the disease of the patient. As a remover, idtro-glyeirenc takes a high. A rank w./ high ia fact, that an inquisitive person Ims been sent ou, of sight by it However nitro-gly cer ne pulls, while effectual reuruvers, arc toy much eo to inspire entire coati dence iu thnr curing power. i liVatiUil c • i tac-lilta i 'il oil to trad* • ii*/ •i! yhic.ji,, lid ml '■ u wer hi* j’nipi, ~ .1 ipicrii' I ■ wilt iioibei li 1-*, >lfit i»f iitivtiev »»•' Iliv poctvtk. istoe-i. nen pmimdf.cl fitlKi. doxen sgg» and % Uaiwhiuy watch, A Correspondent of the Provi dence Jouruu asks • where io look for the theory that thesocalled ‘Star of Bethlehem' is now a mem her of the starry family and at stated periods returns to tlie sight of mortals?" The theory concern ing the Star of Bethlehem is bas ed on a poetical foundation, hav >ng fir;le to support it. In iLe year 1572 Tycho Brahe, a Dutch astronomer, discovered a new star near ('uph, iu the constellation Cassiopea. It increased iu brill iancy until it was as bright as Ve nus aud could bx easily seen at noouday. It continued to shine brightly for a month, then gradu ally grew dim and in sixteen mouths disappe-ate 1 from view. It was looked upon as a new crea - tion or a aun|un lire, ami the gener al opinion was that it would nev er again shine in the star depths. Forty years later the telescope was invented. When it was turn ed to the position in the heavens occupied by the bla/.iug star a minute star was found near the identical spot. This telescope star is still there and is doubtless the baiue oue that blazed forth in 1572. Tho discovery that it exist ed led astrononiers to search astro nom ical records, and it was found that similar bright stars had ap peared iu ihe same region of the sky in !45 and 12<!4 Countirg back three periods from !)45 we ure brought to die near vicinity of the birth of Christ. About twenty four of ilieso lem porary stars huve appeared in the last two thousand years, subject, like the star ill Cassiopea, to'sud den outbursts, followed by a re turn to their normal insigmti carce The New York World prints the following: “Mrs Langtry’s hurried de par lute for England on Saturday, coupled wiijj the fuel that Gebhurdi wus the last person to bid her good-bye, has given tlsc to a good ileal of comment in club and' theatrical circles. ‘My •deur boy," suirf a well kno.vn society man t« \ “I'll tell you all about it. Lily hail a letter from her solicitor in Loudon te/liDg her to go right home and siizu the papers necessa ry to procure a divorce from her husband. Fact, I assure you. Mat ters have already progressed so far that a deeite will be granted in a few weeks. London will be etui tied and New York convulsed but one man will be happy—Fred (Jebhurdt.” “Do you think he knows any thing about it!” “Does Freddie know ?” Uskeit the society man, in an ecstatic sort of way. “Has he or has he not been all this while with Mrs Langtry in California! Did he or did he uot make the overland trip in het company ! Just look , rathe books of tim stage company when the party visited Yosemite and find out the identity of ' Mr. Rigoli,” whose name is inscribed on /he books. Of course it was under stood between them. When Lily comes back in February she will be Mrs Langtry no longer, but soon you’ll see a iittle iiotjfu in the paper: 'Married, at such ami sui-li a day, at such and such a place, by the Rev So and -So, Fred Gebhardt ami Miss Lillie Leßre ton, ci devant Lilie Langtry. No cards.'' “\Vheies tlm/ crowd going?” askel a sad eyed stranger of Fitz goober. ns he crept closer to the corner of the drug store and tim idly kept out of the throng. ••They’re going to the baseball match.' answered Fitz "won’t you come along?' The young msn paled Mid gasped for breath, tiemb ling violently. t "Why uiau !” cried ibe astonish ed Fitz. “what ails you? don’t you like baseball f” , "No-no. I do-do not,” sighed the agonized fellow; "the very word of 'baseball m ikes my flesh tingle writh an untold, fear; a va gue fclljng of unresiaud terror seizis me*.’’ “Hare isonre of your dear onos 1 ! been killed while ut baseball *' 1 asked Fitz. tenderly. “No. no, moarneu the suffering I .lion*; ••wunssetlian that.” j,,i ■ VVnll wlial can it br. my 1 frit ud,? , C'§;:efully gluncmg sirmng the crowd ant! up end down the! st/Vcf. flic Tln‘l-1 I *i-«lvji t<»d Il’ctWA.v • ',nV»ibV.‘*irr ! - - I l»isi HI •' wil- n! V > l .1:1. .11 J Hl.itiii. . ’ Pi-lil i.dfTmnWkct." of \ fmsc.li vs ;.l’e jil’i mi.-i li tliu tear fl’lilU ! the Deleward orchards. jVol. XIV.—No 20 1 liis aid That The coming era -chol era. Flirting on pleasure yachts is a marrytime custom. Huiiiug bricks at each other is inissileaneous sport. Be praised uot for your ances tors, but tor your virtues. lluulan seems to have discover ed the rowed to wealth. 'J alk about babies; but then, we uever indulge in small talk. “Out on the fly," is aow ihe cry of the infuriated bald headed citi zen * Getting suustiuck is a ra*her summary fashion of disposiug of a mau. The risiug of the tied—Turning out to build the tire and cook the breakfast. A man will put hie best foot for ward if lie has a sore toe on the other one. Young Mrs. <>rasswidow saye si e separated from her husband for divorce reasons. Naiure is the queen of arte, but the dressmakers and tailor* are ihe right bowers. A bad egg should never be scorned. It wouldn’t have been bad tint for fowi play. Here is a mathematical defini - tion for fit/ average fisheimau : A rye tangled try angle. , “Could you make a new pus cu myk.” he asked. “No,'* she repli ed, “I lac tlfe ability.” A baseball umpire hae beeti struck by lightning in Colorado, t/uslice-may sleep but Dever dies. An expert baseball player ought to have plenty to do ia the mub mor, when good fly catchers are in order. It is bat natural that a baseball player who is partial to low balls should go on a bat occasionally An exchange wants to knew what kind of an apple Eva at« iit Paradise. We presume it was a Fall apple. A horse in Michigan died the other day on seeing she white ele phant. The elephant was proba bly dyed too. **There is in use in Cincinnati a soda water fountain called tha “Blizzard.” There is more wind than ice in it. The sting of a bee always car ries a -.tern Conviction with it. Jt makes a man a »ee leaver almost instuntly. “That was a clothes shave,” said the burglar as he tumb!ed over the fence, leaving part of his pan taloons with the bulldog. A Baltimore spinster has be come insane over the death of her pet dog. She should hsve stuck to parrots. They never die. A poet asks, “Where will we find content!” He should stand by and wutyli a country editor eal tug his weekly ration pie. Young physician—No, it is not in good taste for a young physi eiuu, when writing to a patient, to sign himself “Yuura till death.” Naomi was 580 years old before she married. The ice cream busi ness must have got a good start during Naomi’s maidenhood. m “Yokes are lmiueusebly fasLioa able both for young Is dies aud lit* tie girls,” The matrimonial yoks is always fashionable with old maids. “ tYhat so perfect as a day in June. " asks Mr. T,owell True, true indeed. But a little tuore ics and just a dash of soda in our*', please. ' A Dakota editor conimiltsd sui cide the other day, but ihs lisms of the pOet, who read his inspira tion to the unfortunate man in not known. 1 >. . » a ■ • i*• i m ■ » The inventive genius of this country is becoming exhausted ia I providing work and fortunes for , medical men. The latest success i ia a one wheeled velocipede. In Butman editors receive ele -1 plumb- in payment far eubscrip tiou lii tin* count/v the paper ’ it, li i> *,l the t epWat the ’ dlfoi c l I! I, t*«Jj in stock. .V new jiKWUid callest ihe Ht> i»v ,tvii mll iis k just appcn>4 st Bras scls The prupneter will t«t verv i huppy lor a numth. but weir till j the paper wants a new dress