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THE JEFFERSON A NEWS & FARMER.
Vole a.
THE
NEWS & FARMEB,
BT
S. W. ROBERTS & BROTHER.
Published every Thursday Morning
l AT
LOUISVILLE. GEORGIA.
PRICE OF SUBSCRIPTION.
IN ADVANCE.
One copy, oneyear S2.HO
“ *• Six months 1.00
•« “ Three mohths 60
When paid in six or twelve mouths
afterdate of subscription... 2.50
For a club of Fine, or more, we will allow a
deduction of 25 per cent off, -emh rate*, pro
# tided, that the Osh accompany the order.
ADVERTISING RATES.
Transient Advertising.-One dollar per square,
(one iueh) for first insertion, and 75 ceutsfor
each eubsi quent insertion.
A liberal deduction made on contract adver.
tuwg, .
focal Notices will be charged 15 cents per
fine each insertion.
All personal Communications of an offensive
character will be charged at the rates of o»n
ikh.lahper Hue.
TiTMI-hMs far advertising in this paper ate,
dne after first insertion of the advertisment,
Knd will be presented—except by special ar
rangement—at the ploasnre of the proprietors.
LEGAL ADVERTISING.
Ordinary's, —Citations for letters of admin
istration, guardianship, &c s'> 00
Homestead notice..... 3 liO
Application for dism’n from a<‘m’n...... 8.00
Application for dism’n ofguard’n........ 5.00
App'ication lor ieatfe to seliLsnd........ 5.00
Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4.00
Sales of hand, per square of ten 1int5...... 5.00
Sales of personal per sq., ten days.... .... 2.00
Sheriffs —Each levy of ten lines, 3 (H)
Mortgage sales of ten lines or less 5.00
Tax Collector's sales, persqr., (2 months,.. 5.00
Clerk's— Foreclosure of mortgage and
other monthly's, per square....... 4.00
Eg-ray notices thirty days 3.00
Sales of Land, by Administrators, Executors
or Guardians, are required, by law to be held
on the first Tuesday in the mouth, between the
hours of ten in the forenoon and three iu the
afternoon, at the Court-house in the county in
which the property is situated.
Notioe of tliese sales must be published 40
days previous to the day of sale.
Notice for the sale of personal property .must
be published 10 days previous to sale day,
Notie* to debtors and creditors, 40 days.
Notice that application will be made to the
Court of Ordinary for leave to sell land, 4
weeks.
Citations dor letters of Administration, Guar
dianship, &c , must be published 31) days—for
dismission from Administration, three months —
Tor dismission from Guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for .foreclosures of Mortgage* must be
.published monthly for four months —for estab
lishing lost papers, for the full space of three
months —lor compelling titles from Executors or
Administrators, where bond has been given by
.the deceased, the full space of three momhs.
Application for Home»teud to be published
within the space often consecutive days.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
J. G. Cain. J. H. Polhill.
CAIN & POLHILL,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
LOUISYILL, GA.
May 5, 1871. ‘ 1 Iy.
R. W. Carswell. \V, F, Denny.
Carswell & Denny,
rSTTOR.TRYS AT Is.* W
LOUISVILLE,. GEORGIA,
WILL practice in all the Counties in the
Middle Circuit. Also Burke in Angus
la Ciicuit. All busiaess entrusted to their
care will meet with prompt attention.
Nov. 3.27 ly
¥. H. WATKINS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
< HoufsMUr, ©a.
Will practice in the middle Circuit. Special
attention gives to the Collection of CLAIMS.
.IXSyR. T. ALLEK, WM. A. TOMPKIKB
asms &
attorneys at law
WRIGHTSVILLE, GA.
AU business entrusted to their care wil
meet with prompt attention.
Particular attention given to the collection
of claims, ~ _
July 3, 1871. 13 ts
MEDICAL.
DR. J. U. SMITH, late of Sandersville Ga.,
offers hi* Professional services to the citi
*ens of LbuSvllle, and Jefferson county. An
experience of nearly forty years In the profes
sion.should entitle him to Public Confidence.
tSpeeial attention paid to Obstetrics and diseases
lof women and children. Office at residence,
Louisville,
Louisville June 20, 1871. 8 ts.
A. F. DURHAM, M. D.
puvstci.tjr j.v» smtNo.r,
SPAftTA*.BtfdllGiA. -1
O UCCESSEULLY tfleats diseases of Lungs
ak-A and Thgqaf.dlgeMes'of the Eye; Nose ajneb
[Ear. and all forms 'of Dropsy; diseases of the
diseases,
oriiioidal Tumor* withot pain ; makes a'spe-'
c : ality of diseases peculiar to females. Ueiic
emen sent t«.any point on Railroad by Exprtai..'
Ail correspondence confidential.
June 13, 1872. ' ly
J. W: COOLEY,
W ILL be in Louisville the first week of each
mouth. All work warranted
Oft 6th 187 L 23 ts - ;
beotistry.. “ ‘
|"\R. CfIAB. A. oTEED, is to ijir
aaptauce. All work warranted.
Louisville, March 11, 1872. ts
Jefferson County, Ga., Thursday, August 8, 18T2.
Ml SCELLANEOUB ADVETISEMENTS
NE^OTONG
AND
mwsM
I am daily receiving choice and desira
ble ' . ' - • 1 •
The latest novelties iu DRESS GOODS.
LADIES MADE SUITS.
I have now on hand a fine assortment of
Cassini era's Cottonades aad Linen's
for Gentleman's wear, which Will be offered at
the lowe.-t prices.
a ROUGE 11'KHRU.
Bee Hive Store.
No. 176 Broad Street,
Apr. 18 ts. Opposite, AUGUSTA HOTEL.
T. F. HARLOW
WATCH MAKER
~ ' ~ —AND—
REPAIRER,
LOUISVILLE, GA-
Special attention given to rmo.
vating aud repairing WATCHES. CLOCKS,
JEWELRY, SEWING MACHINES Ac., Ac,
Also Agent for the Home Shuttle Sewing
Machine.
May 5, 1871. 1 ly.
•pi VERY PERSON admits that a
COOKING STOYE
is indespensable in a well regulated and eco
nomical family. Therefore do not delay in
getting one; bat go directly to
ID. SL» 31 && IE SMSL
and buy either the
•PHILANTHROPIST,”
“CHIEF COOK,”
O r
“COTTON PLANT."
©a ©e
Stove snd Tin Ware Dealer, near James T.
Bothwell, Augnsta, Ga, Oct. 6, 23 ly.
J. M. Neblet, Wm. M. Goodrich.
COTTON GINS.
WE the undersigned, respectfully inform
the planting commnnity that we con
tinue to mauafacture COTTON GINS. We
were awarded the Premium, open to the world,
for the Gin at the Cotton States Mechanics’
and Agiicultural Fair, held at Augusta last
season. Also, received the First Premium at
the State Fair of South Larolinar. We feel
warranted In saying that a trial of our Gins is
all that is necessary to guarantee satisfaction.
Orders solicited early iu the season to prevent
delay.
Old Gins repaired on reasonable terms.
NEBLETT A, GOODRICH.
Aapril 23 6m.
GROVER AND BAKER SEWING
MACHINE.
For Simplicity , Ease of Operation, and Du
rability, the GROVER & BAKER SEWING
MACHINE Is unarivalled. Responsible Agents
wanted in every town in the State.
Address,
GROVER A BAKER 8. M. CO..
21} Bui] St-, Savannah, Ga.
April 23 3m
SPOTSWOOD HOTEL
, Jttacon, ©a.,
Nearly opposite Passenger Depot,
and only one minutes walk. Board,
$3. 00 per day.
THOMAS H. HARRIS,
i ■ ! Proprietor.
Apl. 18 th, 1872. ts.
Wm. Bt. Davidsom, Joseph Bkummel.
Davidson : & Brummel,
282 Broad St,, Angusta, Ga.
EECTIFIEItS, IMPORTERS and WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN*
J?(DSIE2©Sr A IDDDUQjfBIriCB
Ll<tlOt{B,
bbaMies, Wines, gin.
vm :•;}’! POSTER, ALE, ETC.
TOBACCO and SEGAR3 of every VARIETY
i . April U, 1872. 49 6m.
SOUTHERN MUSICAL JOURNAL. <
Ludden & Bates, Publishers,
Sabannafl, ©a.
Published monthly at the low price 00 a
year. A first class magazine of its kind, beau
tifully gotten np, and mast ably edited. Thor
eughly Southern in Us tone it should be found
in every musical family throughout the South.
It contains -each month sixteen PRges, (sheet
J inusic size,) of Musical sketches, -Hints, Corres
pondence, Melange, Instructive Editorials
Southern Musical Notes, and lustrnmental Mtt
' «le, etc. TtaT Dollars worth of choice music
.given during. thaycar. By.a special arrange
meottwe cap oUef this magazine as a premium
lor TWO new subscribers, to the News J- Farmer,
■or will furnish the Journal and.Alma A if aimer
together for $2,50. Address all orders to
S. W. ROBERTS & BRO,
Louisville, Ga.
Jpoctrj?.
[For the News ,j- Farmer.
LINES INSCRIBED TO ANNIE GRIFFIN
OF STONE MOUNTAIN.
Annie; trust no syrene whisper,
“Weave no thought in fancy's loom,”
Build no csstle* mods of vapor,
For they eurliest sink in gloom.
Think not life i, bii. ht and cion Ileas,
Storms will darken fairest skies.
And ti e bitter, brine} t.. r loops
Bubble o\er merriest eyes.
Make to tl ee n> eartlil) treasures
Bind no iu, 1 lo ihy hear',
Give to God thy ear y worship
Chouse in yonth the “better part.”
Life has many fair allurements
That beset the path of youth ;
Pray that God v Ith His ovn finger
May poiut you to the road of truth.
In the cloudless nmin of childhood
‘Ero the sun of life grows dim.
Seek the “pearl of purest waters,"
Learn to trust and lean on him
' Who lias said, “my yoke is easy.
And my burden very light;
Come to me and I will give yon
' Homes that know no shajo of night.”
. Ever trnsting, ever hopeful,
Ever praying ou your wry.
May you land in safety darling
On that shore of endless day.
EMMA.
Evergreen Cottage,
HOT.
Oh for a lodge in the garden of encumbers;
Oh for an iceberg or two at control.
Oh for a vale which at midday t be dew cum
bers;
Oh for a pleasure trip up to the Pole.
Oh for a little one story thermometer.
With nothing but zeroesall ranged In n row
Oh for abig doublo-barrelled hydrometer,
To measure this moisture that rolls from my
brow.
Oh that this eold world were twenty times
colder;
(That’s irony red hot it seem, th to me);
Oh for a turn of its dreaded cold shoulder:
Oh what a comfort an ague would be.
Ob for a grotto o' typified Heaven,
Scoped in the rock under cataract vast I
Oh for a winter of discontented even i
Oh fir wet blankets judiciously cast.
Oh for a soda louut spouting up boldly
From every hot lamp post against the hot sliy,
Ob for a proud maiden to look , n me coldly,
Freezing my soul with a glance of her eye.
Then oh for a draught from a enp of “cold p;-
zen,”
And oh for a resting place in the cold grave.
With a path in the Styx where the thick aliad
ow li, 8 on,
And deepens the chill of its dark running
wave. [ Exchange.
For the News and Farmer
JULY WELCOME.
July, July, we welcome thee,
With a warm and hearty greeting i
Though thy days arc hot and eiiltrj,
And thy nights are short and fleeting.
We welcome thee and thy clouds,
Though lightnings cleavo their crest,
And deep toned thunders roll 1 1 ng
Their heaving, troubled brecsL
Thy soft and balmy breezes cool
The heated brain at noontime;
And trembling leaves are sighing thank*
. In the tranquil day's decline,
ifre lore thee and thy glorions west,
i When it is crimson with the blushes,
And the sinking splendor of thy sun,
Ere the day into twilight beanty rushes.
C h ! the beauty of that sinking orb.
That scatters golden light o’er a weeping
eleud,
And wraps the quiet eventima
In a rich hued purple shroud.
We welcome thee and thy night.
When the air is cool and sweet,
That comes like a messenger of lore,
And dispels the snn's oppAssive heat.
And the stars climb up the doine,
Os the blue and beautiful heaven ;
The beacon lights that burn and blaze,
And poiut us to a surer haven.
July, July, and the birds are full of song,
And the streams are swift and clear;
And the gaudy colored flowerets
Are perfuming the sultry summer air.
Welcome, welcome, with your fruits,
In Inscious, hanging, blushing waste,
That tempt us with such varied gift*.
That if not one, another anits our tasto.
Rustling corn whose tender shoots
Makes the husbandman rejuiae;
Speaks to him of plenty, when, the king
Os winter comes with chilling Voice.
Welcome with thy showers and Jews,
Bear led and precious to the (jlarits;
Precious to the herds and flock*!
That seek the pastures shady haunts.
Tie rainbow’s brightest tints ere thine.
That ever arch an angry sky ; v ,
And when the melodies of d»y light dies,
i We hear the midnight minstrelsy-.
All hail the Fourth, that memorable day i
Tbatddy that lives in thee;
When brave men dared to tell their foes,
ITe are and shall he fret.
; R. J. B.
Jefferson County, Ga., July, If},?,
“The whole thing lias gone to the
bottomless pit,” said a gentleman, of
an unfortunate speculation. “Nev
er mind,” responded
wqn’t be long before you’ll have a
chanco to go after it.”
<£omspontmitt. •
For the News & Farmer-
FJROtJI J.r OLD CMTMXBJT.
Messrs. Editors ;—Pi rmit an old
nlau, having passed the meridian of
life, and ere long .-hall have passid
away to mingle with the vast multi
tude who have already floated down
the stream of time to the iiiiehaiigeu-*
ble and eternal world, to pen a few
thoughts as tin t are passing through
his mind.
For two years, or upwards, 1 have
been the subject of personal afflic
tion, much of the time extremely
ill, and from my present stand point,
as I retrospect the pant, I am made
to wonder at that strange and mys
terious Providence that still pro
longs my life, while many with the
.bloom of youth and health upon
their cheeks have outstripped lue to
the grave, and gone ro their eternal
reward. To me this gives emphasis
t-> the warnings of our >Sa\ iour; “Be
ye also ready for in such an hour as
ye think not the son of man cometh
and to the poet.
**D«*ntli enters anr] tliore’s no •InfeiHß.
Ilis time there’s none can tell ”
Then how important to be al
ways ready, with oil iu our vessels,
arid our lamps trimed and burning,
prepared to meet the bridegroom ;
this nil will admit, and comparative
ly few lay it to heart. lam aware,
sir, that this is an unwelcome theme
to many of your readers, and mv
only apology is the interest I feel in
their salvation. Therefore, to the
young especially, I would say, heed
the admonitions of a father, seek
first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness. Be planted upon the
rock Christ Jesus; give him your
heart and the service of your life, if
you would lie happy here and hereaf
ter ; and let your own experience
and the experience of the world
tench you that solid happiness grows
not on earthly soil; that it is not to
be attained by any sublimin’ pursuit,
or from any temporal possession.—
i Man is no more satisfied with his en
joyments when he has them than
he was when he pursued them.—
He thinks if lie could reach that ob
ject ho would be happy. lie reached
it, yet ho is not. one whit more hap
py. What seemed a luxury in pros
pective becomes a necessity in pos
session, and he still longs and thirsts
and pants for more. It is recorded
of a Roman Emneror, who ran the
'Glide round <f wor’dly pleasure,
that he offered a rich reward to any
one who should discover anew
pleasure, teaching us that the son of
man has desires that nothing sensual
can satisfy, and capacity which noth
ing earthly can fill. But our blessed
Saviour says, that while man cannot
be happy in the pursuit of earthly
things, whilst it is written upon all
things, fountains and cisterns of
time, whoso drinketh of this water
shall thirst again, it is inscribed, and
legible to faith, if not to sight, upon
the fountains of living water. “He
that drinketh of the water that 1
shall give him shall never thirstbut
it shall be within him a well of wa
ter, springing up unto overlasting
life.” True happiness then is the
possession of Christ. Christ formed
in us the hope of glory, or in other
words, heartfelt, experimental relig
ion, not one of forms and shadows,
hut of power, of righteousness,
peace and joy in the Holy Ghost; a
religion of principle, of heart and
life, felt and enjoyed by
seen and read of all men. This, and
this only is the true leaven ; it is
this that sanctifies the Christians
joys a/id sweetens his bitterest and
deepest sorrow's.
And kind reader, do not consider
me vain and overnghteous when I
say from experience, to the praise
and glory of God and his Grace,
that tinder the darkest cloud of ad
versity and affliction, a homeless
pilgrim realizes from day to day,
joys that in its richest prosperity the
world never tasted, Duii/jg any pati
illness I was olten led t<j believe that
I had to tW margin come, and as
my frail old hark seemed to draw
near the sliofe I never failed to real
ize that the hope of the Christian is
as an.anchor, of the soul, .both sure
and steadfast, and which .entereth to
that within the vail. And here I
would p.lace upon record my thanks
toGooforhis unbounded goodness
and mercy to me and mine. Yes he
is. good, and I can but; adopt the
language and sentiment of the gqod
and pious Henry.
hfe'frPMpremely Rood,
_Noi* less wheA fle denies, .• .
EVeb afflictions trorii His sovereign Kand
-Are blessing* in dlsgnise.”
Thank Gid for life, for prosperity,
for radverttty, for health, for < afflic
tion?, thoifch I
thank him for good and true friends.
How many angels of mercy have
come to my relief, some known and
some unknown to me; it matters
not; God knows them, their record
is on high and they will surely have
ahtir rewavl. And in conclusion I
desire most gratefully to return my
thanks to each and all for their many
acts of kindness, and to you sir for
giving this a place in your paper;
ami may I not hope that the banner
Von have unfurled in our midst
never trail in the dust, hut that the
News & Farmer may continue to
rise in the confidence and patronage
of the people, and you in the a (by ■-
tidns of some good, pious yotmg bo
dy—“so mote it be,”
INVALID.
For the A’cir,. J- former.
TIIR SCHOOL f..t ll*.
Mess. Kditous: —The Ibrtn which
Ihe school law has row assumed,
t rces the tit zens of-a h county to
ha)k at it practic 1* v. Tin V must either
reject it ami thereby lose all the
Po l Tax of the county, anil all her
interest in the tStuie Hoad, and all
tjie other State appropriations for
educational purposes—a sum gufii
i ieut, it is thought, to defray one
half the expenses of the schools, anti
thus allow all these funds to inure
to the benefit of other counties; or
they must prepare to take hold of
and lest thru ilny of the law.
In rural districts when the popu
lation, as with us, is sparse, and
c imposed ofdiff ret classes, which
cannot attend the same school—
where a minority of the people have
to bear all th'> burden, where it iin
plies a sudden change oflong estab
lished social customs, a mailer so
sacred as the education of the coun
try, the question—‘can Public
School be made equal, profi’ab’e,
and economical?" is a very grave
questiion. It demands patient
ihougbt, will admit of very
much discussion, and then, perhaps,
can be answered only by and an
earnest, honest, hearty experiment.
But the circumstances in which
the people were called upon to
make that experiment were most
embarrassing and calculated to
excitepr>judice and raise opposi
tion. When the law of IS7O was
enacted, the county had, to a good
degree, passed from under the con
trol of the responsible citizens, and
the S'ate and General Governments
were in the hands of those whose
public act taught us to regard them
as enemies to our interests, rights
and piosperity. Congress had be
fore them a most sweeping educa
tion Bill (still on their table) which
would have, disgraced Draco or Ly
cargos. It applied to all the South
ern States, and was intended to
subject them to an enormous tax
which would have impoverished
them in ten years, and expected to
make fheir whole educational work
and interest dependent upon exec
utive appointment, an l so, subserv
ient to executive patronage. True,
it is believed that they never
thought seriously of paying a law
so monstrous, hut only intended it
as a bugbear to drive the people of
the South to the passage of school
laws by their own Legislatures,
which would comport with that new
social order which they thought
they could establish here. The
law of IS7O was passed by a Legis
lature subservient in the last degree
to the sentiments ofCongress. But
there happened to be a lew honest
men in tbit Legislature who ''toot
ed the brains" of the whole crowd,
and they were able, by strenuous
est ut, to divest the law ofits most
objectionable features. But they
had to let it pass, cumbersome, un
wieldy, intangible, impractical and
unjust as it was, giving the non-’ax
payers in counties where they had
a majority, and even in Sub-districts,
power to tax the property to death.
It also gave the StatC Executive thri
unlimited power of appointment of
its multitudinous officers in counties
and districts where, from any cause,
elec’ions ordered at short' notice,
were not hehl, or yrhere those elect
ed foiled frCtn any cause, to
serve!' !,i It : waS- ; thus hbjfed that
the thbn acting Gbrethof ' would be
able 16 filit th’e public schools of the
State iri the samecondition(n which
they are in unfbtt unate South Coroli
na—a disgrace to the civilization of
the agd. bad as the law was
fn almost all Its details.il is pleasant
to know that fHe good sense and
coolfensohof* tne patri- ttc citizens
of the fo.ost of 4 thd ‘comities laid
prompt bold of it, and executed H
m sudti a way as to jeav£ no way
open for those who wished and ex
pected to make political capital of
it, to do so.' All thefbSaid do they
did- I —squander the , money J they
jhemselVeshad appropriated to run
the schools. 'And very (titiHrhonOrii
due to those patrotic Trustees, and
Commissioners, and Teachers who,
; although they hated the law and
| saw all the evila it covered up like
■ smouldering embers, yet took
j hold of it, wrested it from the grasp
of enemies, and at much labor and
| sacrifice (“Working for nothing and
'finding themselves”) kept it from
being turned to the injury and dis
grace of the Slate.
They have yei received, and pn<t
sibly will receive no other o mpeu
sa ion for ttu ir time, labor and
anxiety from the fav t that they wen
exec iu ihg an unjust and unpopulai
law forced upon them, except rhe
conciousness that they did theii
duty and saved the State from both
disgrace and injury. That is very
much.
But the ordeal Was calculated
to prejudice, nod it is feared did
somewhat pnjtnlice the public
mind against ttie whole subject ol
. public schools, A Fiilure was all
j that could be rashionallv hoped for,
, and all that the most sanguine did
hope for under that law. And the
public mind ought lo be ready to
lake up the subject tic noro and give
it the calm consideration its impor
tance demands. Yours <fcc.
P.
jfitscrUancouo.
JOHN AT THE BRANCH R ACE.
HOW HE WON FORTY THOUSAND
DOLLARS ON LOSGFLLLOW.
Capturing a Mosquit-o 130 Tears Old
—Also a Sandwich Still Older —
Taking every lid on Harry lias
set- without Knowing It—The lie
ward of Politeness.
I lefi the Great West to take
care iiself for a ft w duvs, and came
East to attend the Long Branch
races. Do you twig ih.it? I came
on to attend the branch races. The
Plymouth Rock was loaded worse
than a cannon, even worse, than
Plymouth Rock was loaded when
the first pilgrims waded ashore. 1
-at on the guard of that boat, with
my delightful little feet hanging
overboard,and although there was
only half of me on the bout I had
to pay lull fare. These feet are
what I make my monogram in the
sand with.
The soil from Sandy Hook to
Long Brain h isn’t very rich; it is
only good for sand crabs and clams.
The mosquitoes are so large dial
strangers frequently mistake them
tor eagles. I saw a mosquito cap
lured last week in a trap. It is
supposed lo he one hundred and
thirty years old. On its back was
branded “N. J., 1770.” It belongs
lo the Slate.
When the cars readied Long
Branch you would have thought
from the crowd that got out lhat a
cam;) meeting had swarmed or a
menagerie had let out. I followed
the crowd and got a seat on the
grand stand, and I struck up a
speaking acquaintance with a very
nice man next to me.
Says he, “What in the thunder
makes you squeeze so? I ain’t a
lemon.”
Says I, “Pm a member of the
press.”
Ten Cents for a Glass of Icc Water.
Then a boy came along and
asked me “Would I have some ice
water
I was thirsty enough to swallow
a duck pond, so I said “Yes my
lad, I will;” I emptied a glass of it,
and returning the glass with a smile,
l said, “Thank you.”
Says he, “Ten cents.”
Says I, “What cents.”
Says he, ,‘Ten cents.”
“Ten cents for What?” said I.
“For the water,” said he.
“Gosh!” I, exclaimed.. “I guess
you have bought the pool and got up
a corner on the stuff, han’t ye?”
Then everybody around me yell
ed, “Shame! shame! pay the poor
boy, pay the poor boy,” so I paid
the poor boy, and being awful warm,
I got up to pull off my coat, Then
one of the cusses who had yelled,
“Pay the poor .hoy,” stripped off
his coat, and showing me something
on the end of liis arm .that was as
big as a watermellon, he said,
“That’s your game is it ?” Says I,
“No, sir, I don’t know any games.”
Then be uuclasped his fiat, and
said, “Oh, I thought yqu wanted, lo
take it up,” I observed, “No, I
didn’t.”
A Bet on Longfellow.
An old man came along, and a
fellow says ih'iAe, "That's Hamper,”
Says Ij “What'Harper?”
Says he, "Why, Longfellow Har
bor.” • , t .
Then I to?dhhfi:‘‘thattongftllow
was a poet and Harper a magazine
roan.” Then the fellow bet that
Wo. 14.
Longfellow was a horse and I bet
he wasn’t, I don’t know exactly
how the umpire settled it; he hell
the money, and T guess he holds it
yet, for I havn’t seen him since. I
got up to look f>r him, when there
came a yell worse than the Boston
Jubilee.
‘ Down in front! Down in front:”
S iys I, “G n li iuen. lam down in
Iron'—’way down in front.”
Then they yelled, “Sit! Sit!”
nnd I asked them, “if this wasn’t
the grand stand, and hadn’t Ia
right te stand ?” The vote in the
negative was unanimois, and I sat
down. 1 had harrier work to bri
dle my wrath than the horseman
had to hriil lei very darned animal
that ran that day.
Another Bet on the Fidel.
A fellow near me yelled outi “One
hundred to eighty on Littleton
against the field.”
“Von old tool, you,” says I, “the
field don’t run, it’s the horses.”
“Bet you two to one the field
runs,” says he.
"Take it, ’ says I, and darned if I
didn’t lose. The field did run, but I
meant the other field.
In the memory of man there has
never been a hotter day than that
was. I started perspiration early in
rhe morning, and it ran against time
all day. At melting heat iron ex
pands one-eighth of an inch to a
foot. It you want to make an iron
column eight feet in length, in every
ease the mould has to hi' made eight
feet and one inch long, and when the
iron ciads it will he exactly eight
feet; hut this day it was so very
hot 1 do believe the mould would
have had to be eight feet two incites.
I saw old thermometer that day,
sired bv, nolrodv, and damned by
everybody. If "they bad put him
in the race be would have beaten
every heat, even old blood heat. I
would have given So just for a look
with one eye at a boy with the chil
blains, and doubled the sum for a
small slice of ’em ntvsolf.
The Toughest Sandwich Yet
I got hungry and bought a sand
wich. It was race-y meat. I’ve
got it at home now. It will never
s[>oil. It would make a good mi
neral. I fired seven shots at it with
my revolver. Then I bored the rest
of the way through with an auger,
and I’ve got it hung up on a nail for
a mosquito trap, anil if any of those
pesky cusses ever do get their bills
into that ham they will get the
cerebral McGinuiss or break their
necks trying to get out of it. I cull
it my mosquito-atressinina. I was
sorry that sandwich wasn’t boiled
softer, for I was so hungry I wished
I was a Jill-ey. I could have eaten
all the two-year-olds, the three-year
olds, and all the other stakes that
were of that day, even the svVeep
stakes.
Talcing All the Bets on Harry Basset.
Just as I was the hungriest Long*
Allow and Harry Bassett were
brought out, and they went round
the comer like two .Colt’s revolvers.
All tire nice voting men around me
stood up anil bowed and scraped *pd
held tip one finger, as if they were
stopping an omnibus. Tlrey all
yelled: “A hundred to eighty on
Hurry Bassett.” They all appeared
to be so very polite, that I held up
my finger too. and I nodded and
bowed back 1 all of them. I nev
er saw suca a polite lot of young
men before. You would have,
thought I was the Grand Duke Al
exis. I kept up the bowing game
just as long as they did, and' pretty
soon the race was over, and I con
fess I was agreeably surprised to see
about four hundred young men file
up and each one chuck a one hun
dred dollar bill into my lap. Then I
thought that lot of young men were
just about the nicest lot of young
men I had ever met. There I salt
with $40,000 in my lap, and, mttch
to my astonishment, I fourid opt that
all the time I was pointing my fin
ger and bbwing back to ’em dfvrned
if I wash’t taking every daWtdS bet
that was blade, and darned if T knew
it. I only had 1 eight dollars in iny
pocket, and If I had lost I’d dept in
an oyster bed that night sure.
‘moral.
Always "be pbjite, and when a man
bows to ybu. always bow back, •
P. money I 1 won ia horse
notes." 1 1 . .. ft v:..
P. P; S.—The jubilbe music Wart
hoarse notes. Rich arid race-y;
Eva owuts,. ‘ Jojik.
-
A b«gro held a Cow while across
eyed man was to knock her *oi* star
head with kn'mceV The negro, bb->
setting the mart’s byes, in home fear
! snq«iWd, “Yon gfcfte to bit whw
"you Ibeßt” «Y«S* - "Derif said
Cuffee, “hold de cow yourself. I
ain’t gwine to let you hit me.”