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Jefferson News & Farmer.
VOL. IV.
THE
NEWS & FARMER.
By ’
ROBERTS BROTHERS,
Published every Thursday Morning
AT
LOUISVILLEGEORGIA.
PRICE OF SUBSCRIPTION.
IN ADVANCE.
One copy one year... $2.00
“ “ six months 1.00
• “ “ three months ...... 50
For a Club of FIVE or more we will make s
r eduction of 25 per cent.
ADVERTISING RATES.
Tramitni Advertisements, One dollar par
square (ten lines oj this type or one inch) for
the first insertion and 75 conts for each subse
quent insertion. A liberal deduction made ou
advertisements rmilling over one month.
Local notices will be charged Fifteen cents
per line each insertion.
H?* All bills for advertising due at any time
after the first insertion and will be presented
at the pleasure of tho Proprietors, except by
special arrangement.
LEGAL ADVERTISING.
Ordinary’s Citations for Letters of Administra
tion, Guardianship &c... ....$5 00
Application for dism'n from adm’n.. (3 00
Homestead notice 3 00
Application for dism’n from guard’n 5 00
Application for leave to sell 1and...... . 5 00
Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4 00
Sales of Land, per square often lines 5 00
Nales of personal per sqr , ten days 2 00
Sheriff’s —Each levy of ten lines 5 00
Mortgage sales of ten lines or less 5 00
Tax Collector's sales, per sqr., (3 monthslO 00
Clerk’s —Foreclosure of mortgage and
other monthly’s per square....... 5 00
Estray notices thirty days 4 00
JJrofesflfouat ©artis.
J. G. Cain. J. H. Polhill
CAIN & POLHILL,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
LOUISVILL, GA.
May 5, 1871. 1 ly.
K. W. Carswell. W. F. Denuy.
Carswell & Denny
.IT von A'MIX'S AT M..S IP
LOUISVILLE, GEORGIA,
’VT7’ ILL practice in all the Counties in the
TT Middle Circuit. Also Burke in Augus
ta Circuit. All business entrusted to their
sare will meet with prompt attention.
Nov. 3.27 1 y
W. 11. Watkins, R. I*. Gamble.
WATKINS & GAMBLE
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
ftoutobflle, 45a.
January 22 lo" . ly
J W.COOLEY- Dentist.
Louisville and Sandersvißc, Ga.
Will practice in Jefferson and Washington
counties. Orders loft at this t Dice will receive
attention. Prices reasonable Jan 8 ts.
•Louisville Academy.
G, A. HOLCOMBE, A. M. —Principal.
MRS. C. C. GOODE—Assistant,
For information as to rates of Board and Tu
ition, apply to the Principal, or to any member
of tho Board of Trustees.
f E. fl. W. HUNTER, Chm’n.
| A. L, PATTERSON,
Trustees. { J. 11. WILKINS,
1 J. 11. POLHILL,
I J. G. CAIN, Sec'y.
Louisville, Ga. March 12, 1874. 3m
MEDICAL,
DR. W. W. BATTEY, ha-, located at
homo seven miles from Louisville, and
oilers bis professional services to tbo citizens
in the neighborhood.
Maroh, rhoo 1873
A. F DURHAM) M- D.
Physician and burgeon.
Sparta, Ga.
(SUCCESSFULLY treats of the
O Lungs and Throat, diseases of the Eye,
Nose and Ear, and ail forms of Rropsey ; dis
eases of ihe Heart Kidneys, Bladder and Stric
ture, secret diseases, long standing Ulcers.—
Removes Hemorrhoidal Tumors witnout pain.
Makes a speciality of diseases peculiar to Fe
males. Medicines sent to any point on tho
Railroad. All correspondence confidential.
FebyJS, 1874 ly
T • MAItK WALTER’S
®Atß*feS WORKS,
Broad Street, Near Lower Market,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
MONUMENTS, TOMBSTONES
And all kinds of Marble work Kept
on hand and furnished to order at
short notice. Call and see,
Jan. 23, 1573. 12m.
O\*KR
Pignon If Crump's Auction Store,
284 Broad St., Augusta, Ga-
J. I. PALMER, Proprietor.
Good Board furnished at reasonable prices
by the Month, Week or Day.
MARSHAL HOUSE,
savannah, ga.
A< B. LUGE,— Proprietor
‘ BOARD PER DAY $3.00
The Oldest Furniture House in the State
PLATT BROTBERS,
SSLS & SSo^,
AUGUSTA, GA.,
Keep always on hand the latest
styles of
FOlilfiSl
Os every variety manufactured, from
the lowest to the highest grades.
CEAII33F., PAP.LO3,
DINIITO-P.COM,
AtMP
Library, Complete Suits,
or Single Pieces,
At prices which cannot fail to suit
(he purchaser.
Dec. 25th 1873. 3tn.
BOURNE & BOWLES,
UMBER FACTORS
—MVMM—
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
No. 200 Bay Street, Savannah , Ga.
Agents for HOLLY Flouring Mills,
i.suit Site's i'MLM.n aa.
Liberal Advances made on Consignments in
hand. sept 4 0m
Osceola Butler & Cos.,
WHOLESALE and RETAIL
DRUGGISTS’
Opposite Pulaski & Scrivcn Houses
SAVAN AH, GA.
Particular attention naid to
Country Mcrchantr, Physicians aid
Pantcrs Orders.
October 30, 1873, 3nn
CENTRL RAILROAD.
GEN’L SUPT’S OFFICE, C. R. R. 1
Savannah, October lU, 1873. J
ON and after SUNDAY the 12th lust.,
Passenger trains on the Georgia Central
Railroad, its branches and connections, will
run as follows:
GOING NORTH AND WEST.
Leave Savannah.. 8;45 a m
Leave. Augusja 9:U5 p m
Arrive m Augusta. 4:00 p m
Arrive in Maccn 6:45 p m
Leave Macen tos Columbus 7:10 pm
Leave Macon for Enfaula 0:10 p m
Leave Macon for Atlanta 7:30 p m
Arrive at Columbus 12:45 a m
Arrive at Eufanla,.., 10:20 a m
Arrive at Atlanta.... 1:40 am
COMING SOUTH AND EAST
Leave At1anta.............. .••••.12:20 a m
Leave Enfaula ............... 5:45 pm
Leave Columbus 1:30 a m
Arrive at Macon from Atlauta 0:30 am
Arrive at Macon from Kutaula 5:20 a in
Arrive at Macon from Cblumpus 6:45 a m
Leave Macon-- 7:lsam
Arrive at Augusta 4:00 pm
Arrive at Savauuah 5:25 p m
DAILY TRAIN (SUNDAY EXCEPTED)
BETWEEN EATONTON AND MACON.
Leaving Eatonton... 5:00 a in
Leaving Milledgeville 0:43 a m
i-rv a Mac0n............. •••••..•• 7:45 am
RETURNING.
Leave Macon 4:00 pm
Arrive at M ledgeaville 7:14 p m
Arrive at Eatunwu.--. 9;OU pm
Connects daily ordon with Passenger
Train to and rom Savanauuah and Augusta,
WM. ROGERS,
eneral Superintendent.
CHANGE OF SCHEDULE ON SOUTH
CAROLINA RAILROAD.
Charleston, October
'ON 4ND AFTER SUNDAY, 19th INST.,
THE following Schedule will be run on the
South Carolina Railroad :
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN
Leave Charleston. -?' 0 ® am -
Arrive at Augustaat 0.00 p, m.
Leave Augusta at.... ......*....8:20 a-m.
Arrive at Charleston 4:20 p. m,
NIGHT EXPRESS TRAIN,
„eave Charleston ' m '
Arrive at Augusta ? a -
Leave Augusta. 6:00 p. m.
Arrive at Charleston.--.- 5:40 a. ni.
AIKEN TRAIN.
Leave Akin at 8;00 a. in
Air vo at Angus 9:15 a. in.
Leave Augusta— - ? p-m.
Arrive at Akin ....3:35 p. in.
S. IS. PICKENS
General Ticket Ant.
BoardinG llousE,
Mrs. M. S. MILLER, Proprietor.
Good Board furnished by the
month, week or day. Charges
moderate.
Oct. IGih 1873. ts
LOUISVILLE, JEFFERSON COUNTY, GA., JULY 30, 1874.
' 1850. PROSPECTUS 18747
OF THK
The Savannah Morning flews.
"A great paper —an honor not
only to Savannah, but to the Slate.
—A tantu Ga. Constitution
“A real live paper—one of the
best on the Continent—Sanders
ville Ga % Hcrnld.
‘‘Should be received by every bus*
iness man—able, fresh, spicy.”—
Marianna Fla. ourier.
“The neatest, wittiest and most
ably edited daily in the Southern
Slates.”— Covington Ga. Enterprise.
“One of ihe leading journals of
the South—edited with ability and
%tprigbtline3B-.-invaluable to mer
chants and business men.”— Chris ~
tian Index.
In issuiug this, the twenty-fifth annual pros
pectus ot the Savannah Mousing News, it is
unnecessary to revert totlie history of the pa
per. F’or_ a quarter of a century it has been
the conspicuous and consistent champion of
Southern sentiment and Southern interests.
Tiie cart er of the Morning Nows has been one
of siugular prosperity. It made a place for.i -
sell from tiie start and lias kept it, while a of
its contemporaries of that day, and all save one
of its later rivals, have perished by the ways
side, and to-day it stands tiimly established in
popular favor, with little or no competition
within the area of its circulation.
The restless activity,energy and enterprise
of the age have so extended tiie sphere ol jour
nalisin that the modem newspaper is liturally
encyclopedic in character, comprising every,
thing of specific or general in the vast domain
of art, science, literature, religion, politics and
the news. Its tendency is to occupy the field
of the pamphlet, the magazine anil the uovel,
and it is gradually usurping the functions of
those vehicles of thought and information. Its
scope embraces the discussion of every subject
which has been invested wiih interest by the
restless explorations of the human intellect,
aud includes every topic calculated to instruct
or to entertain. In the newspaper of tovlay
the profoundest cxegctical article goes forth
surrounded aud relieved by the brilliant essay
the caustic review, tho pungent editorial, the
sparkling letter of correspondence, aud lliera
cy paragraph—*he whole forming a Commune
of Bcllc-Lcttrcs wherein the most notew ortliy
literary effort lias scarcely any advantage of
position over the poorest item.
It lias been the aim of the conductors of the
Morning News to keep the paper fully alp east
oi this tide of progress and improvement, and
to this end no expense lias been spared. That
their efforts have been in some degree success*
full, is evident from the flattering encomiums
bestowed upon the paper by its contempora
ries, and from the large circulation and influ
ence to which it lias attained. Tho plans of
.lie Proprietor for 1874 comprelieud a nearer
approach to tho ideal journalism of the time
than over before. The features that have giv
en tho paper a marked individuaii’y among
Southern journals, aud which have brought it
up to its present high standard of popularity
will he retained and improved upon. Events
of interest transpiring in any portion of the
world within reach of the electric Wires, will
find in the Morning News a p ompt and reliable
chronicler ; aud its arrangements for gathering
the nows are such that all important omissions
of the telegraph are reasonably sure to be sup.
piied by its staff of special correspondents ; so
that the readers of the papei arc certain of
tiudeng in iC comprehensive columns tbo la
test and freshest intelligence, systematically
grouped aud attractively' edited.
In its editorial conduct the Mohnino Nkw.i
will consistauilv pursue the policy which has
characterized it from the first. Questions of
national or sectional interest will be candidly
and impartially discussed, while every subject
of a political complexion will be trealed with
an eye single to the welfare, the progress and
the substantial development of the material
resources of the South. Tbo system of carpet
bag robbory and plunder that has impoverish
ed our section the popular practices of c f official
knavery and corruption—and all tiiose odious
features of Radicalism which have for their
object the prostration ofsovereign States and
the disestablishment oi civil government in
the South —will be held up to the severest
condemnation; and at all times,in season and
out of season, the paper w ill advocate tlie pri
mitively pure doctrines of a strict construes
tion of the Constitution, and the admnistra
tion of the powers of the government—Execu
tive, Judical and Legislative—within the
limits prescribed by that instrument. In sub.
serving the interest of a section that has been
so sorely oppressed and so persistently belied
the course of the MokniKU News will he, as
heretofore, either cautiously conservative or
sharply aggressive, as tho nature of the cir
cumstances may seem to demand; and it will
be the aiui and purpose oftbe conductors of
the aper to maintain its position as one of the
leading exponents of Southern opinion.
In th" news department, the current local af
fairs of Georgia and Florida rvi.l be chronicled
was the same picturesque and puugent assi
duity that bus made them such prominent and
popular features of the paper. The local de>
partment is iu charge of a gentleman of skill
and reputation, and will continue to be the
most complete and reliable record of home
events to be found iu any Georgia journal.—
'The commercial department is mil and com
plete 'Tiie figures are collated by experts, and
their accuracy is such as to eonnneud them to
merchants and business men in this and tiie ad
joining Slates. The local market reports are
compiled with laborious caro aud may be re
lied on as representing every phase oi Sayan,
uah’s commerce.
The Weeklv News is a carefully edited
compendium of the freshest intelligence, and
comprises ail of the most attractive features of
tho Daily. It contains thoughtful editorials
upon matter of current interest, lively con
densations, characteristic paragrajihs, and
latest telegrams and market reports up to the
hour of going to press- It specially commend
itself to the farmers and planteis of Georgia
Florida and the adjacent States, and is fur.
nished at a price that places it within the
reach of all.
W hat is here said of tho Daily and Week
ly may also, with equal truth, be said of the
Thi-Weekly News. It is one of the best
papers of its kind and contains everything of
interest ihat appears in the Daily, together
With the latest telegrams and commercial intel
ligence.
TERMS:
Daily Morning News 1000
Tin.. Weekly News 6 00
Weekly News a on
Money may he sent, by express at the risk
and expense of the proprietor. Address
J. fl. ES’TILL, Savannah
JfcCOMB’3 HOTEL,
Milledgeville, Ga
M» H. McCOMßS—Proprler
BOARD PER DAT §3.00
“ Not Lost, but Gone Before..”
BY FRANK IV. FARIVELL.
Sweet mother, do not weep,
Though chastening he His rod ;
The babe’s hut gone to sleep,
To wake with heaven and God.
Exchanging toil and tears
For yonder hlissfnl shore,
Ho soars amid the spheres—
*' - v ' ( 4 l°st, but gone before.”
In heaven, a song of joy
Pervades the sacred air,
Enters the baby boy
The pearly gates ajar;
A messenger from earth
Haa reached the other shore;
Oh! blissfnl, heavenly birth—
‘‘Not lost, but gone before.”
The Day He Went to Sea.
RY P. N. CHAUNCEY.
£le leant above the garden wall,
The day he went lo sea,
Where Rose, the fairest flmvor of all,
Was walking, fancy free ;
As for one passing glance he stayed,
Unto himself said he,
I’ll chance to wiu that dainty ma and
When I come back from sea.”
They stood and gazed a moment’s space
Into each other's eyes,
The blush upon her gentlo face
Just blending in surprise.
Each soui that moment met its mate,
Through all the time to be !
He will return and ask his fata
When he comes back Irom son.
Ah! feed with dew the clustering rose,
And train tho clinging vine;
Again ho 11 coma, lull well she knows,
By soma mysterious sign.
She never saw his face before,
Yet well she knows ’twas he,
Who will no. fail to tell her more,
When he comes back lrom sea.
Soft midnight fall upon the wood,
Ten da,s were past aud gone,
The maid by open lattice stood,
And smiled aud sigbed alone ;
W h°u sudden dullness o'er her stole,
Amidst her reverie,
She soemod to hear the awful roll
Os waves far cut at sea,
Iler maiden bower is tilled with sound
Os winds that wildly whirl,
With shock of waters that rebound,
And crests which foam and cur]—
A groaning deck—a rush of men—
A laden boat to lee—
Oue clear young vuice upraised—aud then
Nought but tumultuous sen 1
oh, let the clustering roses die,
And strip the trailing vine ;
How’ swift the evil tidings fly
On that mysterious sign !
Let leaves he shed and tears bo wept,
For what was ne’er to be .’
For him who in the waters slept,
Who ne’er came b.ck from soa.
From I'omGroy’s Democrat.
RUTHS CHOICE.
Breakfast was earlier than usual.
Mr. Cunningham was lo take the 7
o’clock train for Chicago, on busi
ness.
‘No, don’t call Ruth,’ lie said in
reply to his wife. ‘1 declare,’ —he
continued, as they seated themselves
at the table, ‘ I forgot to tell you of
Mr. Bernard's call here yesterday ;
my mind be.ng so engrossed with
this business nfi’iir. He came while
you and Ruth were out driving. I
know you could never guess his er
rand. Ruth, the little shy puss, lhat
she didn’t tell us.’
‘ln the name o f common sense,
whai has she to do with it!’ exclaim
ed Mrs,. Cunningham.
‘Oh, why ! haven’t I told you ?
Well, nothing more or less than that
she is lately engaged to Henry Ber
nard, and that gentleman 'came for
my consent.’
•And what did you tell him ?’
‘That if lie had my daughter’s con
sent lie had mine also.’
‘John Cunningham ! is it possible
that you will allow your only daugh
ter to marry a stranger, without
wealth or profession. She, a con
fessed liche, whose rare beamy nml
accomplishments are envied by all.
It is a known fact that she can get
Dr. Cuoke, who is an only son, and
has his thousands at command. Yes,
and there is Frol. Ileily and a dozen
others, all good matches.”
‘‘Why, my dear, I supposed you
would be as well pleased as 1 was.’
Well pleased ! oh, horrors !’
‘I am aware,’ continued Mr. Cun
ningham, without noticing tiie iiiiur»
ruption, ‘ that we have known Mr.
Bernard only a year,- hut his every
feature shows that genuine nobleness
of principle, which, at once, wins
love and inspect from all. lam in
deed pioud in knowing that our
daughter has centered her affections
on one who will appreciate her true
worth,’
‘Yes and keep her in poverty.’
‘Never fear, my dear. Men like
Henry Bernard do not marry wives
to keep them in want.’
When Ruth came down she saw
her lather going thtough the gate.—
tjlie ran to kiss hiir. good-bye.
‘Ruth,’ he s tid mischievously, ‘am
T lo get our daughter’s trousseau this
time, or wait till the next trip V
‘Then fuller, you know it,’ she
exclaimed, as the warm color suffus
ed her cheek.
‘Yes, l have bten made aware of
the fact, but how very sly to hurry
mother off for that drive. Sue. is j
quite indignant to think I have given j
my approval. But go in, dear, '■
breakfast is waiting tor you.
As soon as she hid joined her
mother in the dining room, that lady
began: ‘Ruth it 1 had known how
matters would turn out, 1 would have
forbidden Mi. Bernard eoinmg here. :
I had Haltered myself th it you were j
more dignified to marry an ordinary I
man. i supposed you allowed his !
visits merely to have him num-1
Lerod as one ol your conquests.’
I Beg your pardon, mother, it has i
never been my aim lo achieve such
I victories.
‘YV liy have voj refused so many
then?’
‘I thought il more right than lo
live a lile of worse th tu louelim ss
with one I could not love.’
Ruth, when juu are brought
down by poverty, you will discover,
when 100 late, lhat love is very fine
indeed to read and dream of, but not
to meddle with.’
‘Mother, 1 intend to marry the
man for his own merits ; if he Imps
pens to he rich it will he very nice ; j
but, when I marry a lortune alone ;
1 don’t want the man thrown in. I j
once heard Mr. Bernard say he had |
a farm in Clarke county.’
‘A I.inner! Oh worse! Just think |
Ruth, of you having toco>kfbra|
regiment of harvest hands, the get-j
ting up before daylight, milking the
cows anti feeding the chickens.’’
‘Yes, mother, and jjie eating ol
fine moliow appl s, peaches, pears I
and grapes. And then 1 can have
just as many il iwers as I want.—
When you come to see me you will I
think you arc coming to a fairy’s j
castle.’
There was no use to argue with
such an obstinate girl. Therefore,
Mrs. Cunningham despairingly drop
lied the subject.
Three months later, in the bright
September days, we again vis.t Tin*
Cunninghams. Yesterday was Ruih’s
wi ddmgday. When it came to that
pan, Jits, Cunningham—although
she had sh and many a silent tear be
cause it was not Dr. Cooke, was not
gomg to be outdone by the Masons,
whoso eld- si daughter was married
a month ago.
That over anxious lady dtcvv a
breath of relief as she heard tii • mur
mur of admiration from the assem
bled gut st--, and saw tlv: look ofen
vy iu Mrs. Mason’s e\es. Boor soul !
she had lhat grand event planned
out when Ruth was only a day old.
God k nows I have done my duty, I
ahe said to her husband after all was
over, and if Rmhever rues her choice
[which I know she will] you will
have one great sin to answer for.
They were to visit some of the
principal eastern cities on their bri*
aat tour, then go to their coun'ry
farm.
One of Ruth’s letters, two months
later, read as follows ;
“ Yesterday we arrived home.—
Mother, prepare yourself for the ler
rib’e shock.” [Oh, dear, groam and
Mrs. Cunningham.] Then she con
tinued reading as follows: “It is
the grandest aud n osi beautiful place
1 have ever seen.” [Mrs. C. read this
sentence twice.] ‘‘lt has belong' and
to the Bernards tor tw*o or three gen
erations. They have spared neither
money imr pains in beautifying it.—
Harry is the only heir.
“We saw the house tor miles be
fore reaching it. Its massive walls
of masonry rose up in majestic
grandeur against tho sky. I believe
1 w ill never bo ab e lo go through il
with mi a guide and not g.-t loss
The rooms are all grandly furui hcd.
It is quite impossible for me to lully
describe the magnificent 'grounds,
with their broad avenues and prom
enades. Siately maples, marble stat
ues and fountains, rare and beautiful
flowers and plants; but I’ll tell no
more till you come, which must bo
real socn.”
‘Now, hiy dear, where is ihe sin I
have to answer for V asked Mr. Cun
ningham, with ail aggravating smile.
‘•Well, to be sure, whin strange
things will happen,” replied his wife.
“I think I will call on Mis. Mas n
this afternoon. Won't i lake her off
tier throne, though <"
mrM •
A bad omen—To owe men money.
Engaged for the next set—hens.
Love-age is ike rool of marri-age*
•j SQUILLS SEES THECUMEf. j
J And Mrt. Squills Goe3 0n“ Setter. J
:j For some cause or other ion ih>
j merous to mention, 8 late
going home the other niku. Iv.
I haps it was morning. U > second,
thought it was m.»ni,ug. .p. :
] iiad oeeu sitting up wiih a sick tue I, ;
as usual, and the heal of the room ol I
j something hadn’t agreed with him.!
i ILs frietid wanted him to slay all!
! night, but Mra Squills had an obj 'e- |
j Hon to his staying out all night.—
Mrs. .Squills was not a j aious wo
man, but she had once been heard
to remark, darkly, that she would
like to catch Mr. Squills staying ou‘
: all night. Fiom that moment 8q .ills
jha I relmquism-il the idea. Ou this
I particular oceasio.i Squills never telt
so much li>te sta\ ing out ail night on
doorstep in all Ins life, the room had
disigieed with him si much. But
he struggl 'd manfully with tiie ef
fects ol the room, comb n :d with the
effort of sitting op with his sick i
jfiiend, and he reached home at last,
j Mrs. Squills was awaked.
J Once upon times Squi Is used to
'take off his shoes and go up softly in
| his stockings, but he Had left oft lint
base subterfuge years ago. Mrs,
| Squills was always awake. She was
(awake this night as usual. Squills
[knew it, because she didn’t siure.
j ‘ls ihat you Squills V
‘That is the question she asked
[me year and year out, said Squills,
i hooking at me with the cyeol a lynx
from under the mosquito bar, and j
knowing enough of rue tc know my I
hide on a bush, it she should ever!
see it on a bush, she said milihy, j
'ls that you Squills ?'
T t 11 you,’ said Squibs, ‘that ki.,d
o! thing 28 wearing, but I responded
cheerily :
‘Yes, my dear; o’course me.’
‘ VVhat time is it! Is it late V
‘Jus’ struck iwel’, Mi-s.z Squills,
At which she, immediately got ou
of her nest, walked deliberuielv t<
the mantleshelf, looked at the clock
and then turning round, said in tom-:
that would have given a ciiiil to a;
iceberg:
‘Mr. Squills, it wants jus! u qnnr
ter to iliree.’
1 said : ‘Let it want, m’ dear.’
1 Wheie have you been Mr. Squills?
Silting up with 6ick a friend V
I knew the ‘sick friend’ was "too
thin to hold water with that remark
able female, said Squills, and so I
said:
‘Codger’s comic, m’ love.’
r l he Codger’s what, Mr. Squills ?’
‘Codger’s comic. Meters mo’
won’ful ’n Judy, Fiery, untaimod
tail ever s’long. Gran’,sViime,
t o'o ra I m agnificient. Nevasaw;: ieh
thingamlife, giv m’word nbonor.
, ‘1 felt that the influence of the si k
fri ml and the oppressive heat that
last bottle of soda water was upon
me,’ said Squills, ‘and I also fell
that Mrs. Squills were upon me :
indeed, I also felt as if Mrs. Squills
was all eyes, and that they vwre all
beaming on me at one fell swoop,
lik a policeman’s bulls eye.’
‘Before I call in the children Squills
to witness the beastly effect of Codg
er’s comet on their lather,’ said Mr-.
Squills, ‘you had better get into ihat
b tl.’
‘And wlmt do you think she did V
said Squills. ‘But you’d never
gues*. No, sir, no earihly man cmid
ever guess the depih of woman’s
knowledge ol human nature. She
poured out a glass (lice water from
ihc ice pitclic. and then deliberately
went into the yard. Then she sat
down by the window and sucked it
through a straw.’ ‘I never felt so
thirsty in all my life,’ said Squills,
and she know ft; and then to suck
up that water . through a straw.—
There was majestic malignity in the
act that couldn’t possibly have origi
nated wiih uny bidy but a mo-nan.
1 don’t know how I went to sleep,
sail! Squills, but I did, and when I
woke up in the morning there was
Mrs Squills at tho bed tide w iih a cup
cl hot colfee.
Tax this. Squills, it is better than
icc water for Codger’s co-nic.
What could I say, said Squills,
Just nothing. I was c impleioly at
Iter mercy, and that cop of coflee is
going to cost me anew dress before
I get through with that infernal
comet and 1 know it.
YYs onlay, says a Sou hern Color
ado, exchange, wesiw a man, wo-
I mail, a good sized boy, two babies,
five or six blankets, a buffalo robe,
and two strings of chili on a single
pony. Every availibie inch from his
ears to i he root, of install was ‘taken.’
The poor animal was veiy small,
tillu as towel rack, of a sickly pale
color, and one foreleg was about live
inches shorter than, the other—the
knee-joint of that leg was very large,
jaso wo supposed ihutthe missing part
»of the leg was driven there by the
weight above, so that when it was
| relieved the leg would stretch out
■I like a turtle’s head, ia fact all his
1 legs were short, and the croukedest
• iitveiitio.: of legs that we ever saw.
j ‘ncredibic as it may seem, the wiry
; futfeanimai pu-s- 1 us in trot. When
• he came and »vvn on that short leg, an i
| the family ‘ker pumped’ with it, it
j would fiave made the oldest rnait
j living laugh. Both tile children were
j sleeping soundly, for the motion of
the horse served all the purposes
of a cradle.
Female ‘fricks Plat are Vain.’
Mrs. Susan Everett, M. !)., of
New Engl ind, his taken tin !; U
against corsets, garters, false hat:,
b ighshe dei l shoes, padded bo toms,
eniaged calves, and other iliab.ilic
al contrivun ;es employed by females
with which tj fool the men. Wc
tuink Mrs. Everett, M. I)., has
struck a good mission and that every
high-toned man in ihc land will cjiw
tribute (us mue to keep her in the
Held, as long as she is willing to ex«
pose these frauds, which she can do
more effectually than the orator who
doesen’t understand them so well,
or how they are used.
It is oar decided opinion that wo
man, “heavens best gift to man,”
ought not to deceive hun so cruelly
with padded “bosoms,” “false hair,”
and—‘‘false calves. ■' She may look
upon it alt as a joke, but the man
takes it u3 a cold ctuel one. These
J contrivances uonstiutute a series of
| delusions to beguile modest joint”
I melt, who do not investigate for
1 themselves, into the belief that there
exists beamy ol female fonu where
all is artificial fraud when stripped to
the truth.
fins is a subject we approach with
and licate diffidence It is lor welfare
of vvoin'ti that we refer to if, has
causa we desire more to see. her ui“
vested of all fraud and clothed in tho
easy attire dictated by good coins
molt sense—for there is nothing false
she should wear, except she sliou.d
lose her teeth.
oust think of a nice conflling
young mm, with no thought but
that ol love ier the gentle sex, be
ing led into toe hhe! that hn isa' 1 -
miriii‘» with.ecstatic bliss the form
of a Venus, when in fact, he is but
gazing upon the scrawny angles of
humanity, done up in anisiic shape
by these ‘contrivances' in a style that
excels nature in the rounded and
symmetrical development of the fe
male form.
Then to think of a confiding swain,
in the very pa-sty ol innocent
thought, should court iiis adroira*
linn, marry his love and fail to know
'in’ wile when stripped of all delu>
si on j to be • thus beguiled into the
meshes ot “deeds that are dark and
tricks that are vain,” disguised by
artistic symmetry only to deceive
and to defraud.
Is there a man who dees not had
with joy and delight, the deliver,
auce produced by Mrs. Susan Evers
ett, M. D„ from such temaie imposi
tion f
One day Dr. Whately was walk
ing with a young officer of artillery
who was allied to him m bloo
when the latter propounded the fol
lowing riddle : “VVliat is the differ
ence between a donkey and an arch
bishop r” • Whately gave it up, and
received the following reply’:
“The one carries bis cross behind
and the other belore,” referring .to I
to the marks on the back of the do
mes tc ass and on the apron of an J
archbishop!” “Very good, indeed,” j
laughed Whately:
“And now can you tell me the I
difference between a donkey and a I
captain of artillery ?” “No, indeed, ]
I cannot,”replied the officer. ‘There]
is none whatever,” r« joined the arch-!
bishop. • S
A correspondent cf a New York
paper relates the following touching!
anecdote: J
“1 found a cockroach struggling in
a bowl ol water. I took half a pet
nut shell for a bout. I put hitn Laid
n, and gave him two wooden toothJ
‘picks tor oars, and left turn. The!
next morning 1 visited him, and hq
had put a piece of white thread onj
one end of the toothpicks, and BCf]
up the toothpick on the end as q
signal of distress; he liad a hair oil
tlie other too'lipick, and thero tnaj
cockioueh sal fishing, fast asleed
liom exhaustion. The sight m.TteJ
nio to tears. 1 took him out, gavl
him a spoonful of gruel, and loft.—|
Tim animal m-ver. lorgoi that act cl
kindness and.now my house is, chuck!
lull of cockroaches. j
KO. 14