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. A e Che Mlartetta Journal. PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING BY NEAL & MASSEY, PROPRIETORS. OF EFICE: 3 UP-STAIRS, IN FREYER'S BUILDING, SOUTH-SIDE OF SQUARE. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION : ONE YEAR, - - A e -21.50 SIX MONTHS, - - o FOUR MONTHS, - - gt .00 Paper sent out of the County, 15¢ts Postage. ADVERTISING RATES: F()R EACH SQUARE OF TEN LINES, or less, for the first insertion One Dollar, and for each subsequent insertion 75 cents. Reduction made by contract for longer time. Local Notices 10 cents per line for each insertion. All Obitnary notices, tributes of respect, over six lines, charged for. All communica tions intended to promote the private or po litical ends or interests of individuals or corporations, will be charged as advertise ments, The money for advertising considered due after first insertion. After present contracts expire, only solid metal euts will be allowed in the Jouryar. Business Cards. ee e e R ’ N\ DR. l}o )Io ALLLN, m RESIDENT DENTIST, 7 ~ETHAVING enjoyed the confi denge and patronage of the community for twenty-five years, is in active practice with all “(n‘(-(x.\'_\‘:‘r:" improvements :unl.m:m-!'ml, at prices reasonable enough to suit the most economical, Office, North-side of Square, over J. H. Barnes' old store, Marietta, Ga. Tee s Shaamsmem T = ““_}OLD‘Q 2 “ " ',,a \ > & ) & : b eas g Rg o ~ Jfice, fcClatchy Building. - Y s W ATI MARIETTA, GA & . Y 2z o Y (\ ) ([ = "oax wanss® = j 4 S— S '\/, W d ) DR. N. N. GOBER, PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, TPVENDERS HIS PROFESSIONALSER viees to the citizens of Marietta and surrounding country. Office, North-side of Square, Up-Siairs in the Hill Building. Res idence ut the Laneau house, one block from Cherokee street, Marietta, Ga. DR. E. J. SETZE, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, 'l‘l’;‘3."]'ll{.\‘ HIS PROFESSIONAL SER- L wviese in the practice of Medicine in all its branches to the citizens of Marietta and surrounding country. Oflice at Setze and Simpson’s Drugstore. All calls promptly attended DR. H. V. REYNOLDS, PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, '\V]‘“{N NOT ENGAGED ELgl where may be found during the day at his office, up stairs, in McClatchy Build ing, South-west eorner of Public Square, and at nicht at his residence on Powder Springs street, one door sbove the Metho dist parsonage, Marietta, Ga. DR. JOHN H. SIMPSON, PRACTICING . PHYSICIAN, \,f[,\l.‘ll':'l"lfl\. GEORGIA. OFFICE, VL at Setze & Simpson’s Drug Store. DR. P. R. CORTELYOU, PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, M,\[‘,’l‘:'l"l‘.\. GEORGIA. OFFICE, A North-side Public Square, over Wm. Root's store, Consultation Hours, 93 a. m. 10 123 to bp. ~ unless otherwise engaged. DR. . TENXENT, Offlee in Nichols™ Hall, first room on left. ’\\]’l‘].\"l'-.‘,!1’1". PUBLIC SQUARE, MA rietta, Ga. Has removed residence to the Ogden place on Hoswell street. All calls promptly attended. July 4th, 1853, r W. P. McCLATCHY, ATTOBNEY AT LAW, 'MAR”’.T'L\,(;l'i(lll(il,\. PRACTICE LVL in all the Courts. Legal hyusiness so licited and promptly attended to. Gfiice in McClatehy Building. “VIIJL. Qlc “'[NN, ATIORNEY & COUNSELOR AT LA, AARIETTA, GEORGIA. ! Al legal _:\/[ business solicited and promptly atiended. Practices in all the Courts, State and Federal. Oilice in Masonic Building, South-side of Square. m J. Z. FONTER, AMATTORNEY & COUNSELOR AT LAW, "\/T,-H;'H'l’l'l‘,\. GEORGIA. PROMPT - attention given to all legal business. Office in Me(latchy’s Building, A 8. OLAY, . W. BLAIR. CLAY & BLAIR, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, \‘[,\Hll‘:'l"l"\. GEORGIA, ROOMS 1 4¥YL and 2 on the left over Wade White's store, We give our entire attention to the practice of law. Promptness is our motto. WLollection a specialty. ¢C. D, PHILLIPS, W. M. SESSIONS, PHILLIPS & SESSIONS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, OI’FH'H OVER SESSIONS, HAMBY & ' Co.'s store, Marietta, Ga. " N K . . N. HOLLAND, ATTORNEY AT LAW, w.\]{lli'l"l'.\. GEORG]A., WILL DE i) vote his entire attention to the prac tice of law in the Blue Ridge and adjacent circuits, Oflice, South-side of Public Square in the I'reyer building, first oo on right, «opposite Journal oflice. J. J. NORTHCUTT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, WORTH, GEORGIA. WILL PRAC j&.‘ ti«,: i the (('-::I"I)l!"s n\i' (obh, i’:l\l'nl'lin‘d' Cherpkee, Bartow and others, [mmediate atteption given to collections, Wouey 1 Loan 1o Farmers ! Plenty of it on Long Time IT costs nothing to find out all about it Apply to ENOCH FAW, Attorney at Law, Marietta, Ga. HOTEL EMERY, On American end Enropean Plan Vine Street, between 4th and sth. Jhrwin Maxwell, CLNUIN_NATI. OHIO. Jd tariella Journal w Y v$ VOL. XVIII. : Business Cards. v X ¢ N WILLIAM F. GROVES, Cerncral In-urarce Agent MARIETTA, GA. VN T T )F‘ IJT].4 HJ {“‘D 1* 11\ J Prompt attention given to upplications from a distance oo B e e - Yoy FRANK KING, Fire and Life Insurance, Marietta, Georgi=a, Representing the strongest Five and Life In surance Compaiics in the World, with anthority to undertake town and county risks in Cobb and the neighboving countics, on ths most liberal terins 1837, issd, JUHN W. METCALFE, Tailor HAS JUST RECEIVED A BEAUTIFUL assortment of . Worsted, Cloths, Doeskins Aud SUITINGS of the best Foreiygn and Home Manufacture ; also a full line of Trimmings. Sy e o INEW STORE! NEW GOODS! Jas. W. Hardeman DEALER IN Family Groceries, Canned Goods and Country Produce, East<Bide of Public Square, MARIETTA, ...........0 i, GEORGIA. i e e A. B. Gilbert, FEast Side Public Square, Dealer in Fh’ E.l iy (‘ ' YA 0. 5 | Al } xroceries CANNED COODS Cash customers solicited, Barter of all kinds bouyht and sold, g 4. B GILBERT. Marietta Jan, lst. 1835 . RIEMOUVIED. JOHN R. SANGES, Harness-Making, CARRIAGE TRIMMING AND REPAIRING. Shop Under McCutcheon's Hall, MARIBTPA ........0 i i GEORGIA, L.Black & Son Manufuccturers of N ) T N T ¥ ] FURNITURE, 5 - Sash, Blinds, Doors And Dealers in LUMBIER Of all kinds and for sale on the best of terms Paints, Oils, Glass, and Burial Casecs. * ALSO Howse Builaing and Repairing 'l‘/!'llllj.lll.f-'ll‘Iul.\',]l'lh‘lu(u:/l we beg legre to state that we ave fully vrepared for the erection of buildings and yive pevfect satisfaction Will do all kinds of work in our line in the lest style and at the lpw l'-\>’ 114/':‘"‘4,*' nil l'u[» 4'u'u.~'t‘:l.ulf_l/ on hand Sash /i{;‘:arh Daars. §e . and Jsill or ders for Lumdber. Shop South side of Square, Marictta, Ga L BLACK & SON. T Resprriy - _,___,Aw..l, i W. E. Gilbert DEALER IN PN ] ¥ GENERAL MERCHANDIZE, Muarictta, Georyida, Cash CTastomers Solicited, Goods Sold on Tim At veazanab le advances above cash prices to Prompt Paymg Customers. It will be to the interest of elose buging lul.‘l.‘" ; to examine my stock, Good Goods and Shorvt Profits, is what I guarantee. A large stock of PRy GOODS BCOOTS, SHOES and HATS, CROCKERY, de, de, are always on hand. Stock of CLO Tz NGO ':_:",‘“: latest styles and lbest make and f!'.:/:"u‘.:' W & GILBERT T. W. GLOVER, J. B GLOVER - T.W. Glover & Co., - West Side Public Square, MARIEETLA, o u i BRBORGIA, DEALERS IN o|g 1 : 4 Family Groceries, . BOOTS AND SIHOES, Harness, Saddles & Bridles, LAY, BRAN, PEAS; CORN, FLOUR, SUGAR, COFFEE, SY RUP, BACON, LARD, RICE, GRISTS, TOBACCO, &c. Country Produce bought and sold. Call and gee us, T. W. GLOYER & CO. L. 8 GOX. North-East Corner Public Square, Marfetta, Ga., DEALER IN ‘ - " ’ Family Groceries, CONFECTIONERIES, CANNED GOODS, CIGARS, TOBACCO &e. Country Produce bought and =old. Will sell as Cheap as the Cheapest. Subscribe for the Marietta Journal and keep posted in county news. “BE JUST AND FEAR NOT—LET ALL THE ENDS THOU AIMST AT BE THY COUNTRY'S, THY GOD'S AND TRUTH'S.” e e -2rera advartisements, SHPMREN, AT : ;g% 3 : Y 3 WUE B S i Y G G m‘!fir v ROYAL swz Rso w 7 pebt A 4 - ;Q, - = i ‘.‘H il i ol A v il i it i i ff ; [3 7 _anl %Wl N JN { % A i E M 3 A B A BY B s’ 9 W Absolutely Pure. This Powder never varies. A marvel of purity, strength and wholesomeness. More economical than the ordinary kinds, and cannot be sold in competition with the mul titude of low test, short weight, alum or phosphate. powders. Sold only in cans.— RoyanL Bakine Powper Co, 106, Wall Street, New York. Dr. J. W. Bozeman, JEWELER AND OPTICIAN, P T 8 e, X P \ NSV & — ~——— MARIETTA, - GEORGIA. e 28 v Lo ol TS 2 -’;_i-*k' )2 S ) NGO b Q*ET@”‘*\ &7 TOR 3 R . Elgin National Watch Co. And all other®First Cluss AMERICAN WATCHES AND BEST BRANDS OF SPECTACLES. Best Line of Diamond Spectacles, Rock Chrystals, Lenses, &c.. J. T. HALEY, inna 1 loel L 1 Gezercl Commission Merchaut. Solicits consignment of all kinds of Mers chandise, especially Groceries, Provisions and Fruits, which he will sell at the very lowest mar ket prices for cash. Will be glad to see friends and customers and will give best ol bargains, Marietta, March 10th 1885. THE MARIETTA { > » 3 X, | / F N MarBLE WORKs. s 1 e e NG ;/}E/ Y e T JANVE A R """"‘I“l e ‘fi“ ‘.“l':,‘('i)f": }i. i S i o B | T '*Ffih?‘:imgxfl‘i | foRN e B T Ll‘.';’{"'«J- L3~ : e e S N e L S ) TR e We are now prepared to furnish all kind of Marble Monuments, HEAD AND FOOT STONES, In any Design, of Italian, Vermont nr‘ Georgia Marble, ut our shop in rear of Ma sonic Building. We defy competition in guality of work or prices. ‘ McCLATCHY & BAILEY. As to the skillful and artistic workmans ship of Mr. Bailey, specimens of his work can be seen in the Marietta -and Episcopal Cemeteries. The monument over the grave of Governor McDonald is the work of Mr Bailey done before the war. Ife has just left the employ of prominent marble works in Tennessee to come to Marietta to open @ marble yard, and your patronage is solicited D. F. McCLATCHY. Marietta, Ga,, Nov. 19th, 1884, No More Eye-Glasses, No Weak R mone (TG BF eyes. R MITCEHELL'S EYE.SALVE A Certain, Safe and Effective Remedy for 1 Sore. Weak & Inflamed Eyes Producing Long-Sightedness, and Re storing the Sight of the Old. CURES TEAR DROPS, GRANULATION, STYE TUMORS, RED EYES, MAT > TED EYE LASHES, And Producing Quick Relief and Permanent Cure, Also, equally eflicacious when used in other maladies, such as Ulclers, Fever Sores Tumors, Salt Rheum, Burns, Piles, or wher ever inflammation exists, MITCHELL'S SALVE may be used to advantage. Sold by all Druggists at 25 cents &7 PERRLS g SRS ROTER 188, '5"7% {mi.s‘gfi;wdro ALLY ”U” toall u?lp??fl;;'.s FBEE‘- L and to customers of last year without orderingit. It contains illustretions, prices, descriptions and directions for planting all Vegetabie and Flower SEEDS, I}BI,B:, ete, _D.M.FERRY & CO."S2' IN EFFECT AUG. 17, 1884, ; No. 1, North Leave Muricta oihsbessaivs 00 5. m Arrive Lilijuy... L av bt ni l.‘4“p. m No 2, South Leare I_l’/Ir/'-l‘l/ Sk L adiakisibvunsilig p m Arrive at Marietta . . . . oo 64D p om W. B. POWER Gen Pas, Agt, MARIETTA, GA., THURSDAY MORNINU, MARCH 26, 1885. |~N ¢ * ‘@he Rlarietta Journal, e ettt e e , MARIETTA, GA., ;THURSDAY MORNING, MARCH 26, 1885. i When a man is making love toa | widow he always feels as if he, had to ‘begin where the other fellow left off, l “Now your talk has the true ring,” ( said the girl to her lover, when he be gan to speak of a diamond circlet. o e e “What islaughter?” asksa scientist. Itis what you don’t hear when you find your wife sitting up for you after the club.” sl U “Nervous Girl” wants to know how to cure a tickling sensation about the face. Get him to shave off his mus tache. The truth is often too plain to be fashionable. It is better to tell it however, even if it makes one con spicuously odd. e The ground mole, in proportion, to its size, excells all other animals in strengh of jaw and shoulder, A bat tle between male moles generally ends with the death of both. “Here I've been talking for half an hour,” exclaimed an auctioneer “and [ have't got an ofter.” “Half an hour, indeed ! exclaimed an clderly maiden, “what’s half an hour to many long years, and still no hope of an offer. In nearly all large cities are places where horses that are completely used up are taken, stimulated and polish ed up and sold to unsuspecting coun trymen at 825 to 340 each as horses temporarily disabled. Of course the animals are utterly worthless, but the sharpers manage to make an average of about $2O each on them. It is said that some of the scamps who conduct the establishment are so skillful that they can almost revive a dead horse long enough to trade him off “in his hair and hide.” The wild man who has created such consternation around Brown's Sta tion, Ohio, for some time has been somewhat cleared up. After a des perate fight the wild man was caught. He presented a fearful sight. Hair covered his body, and he was filthy and savage beyond description. Ie lived in a cave in the hills and sub sisted wholly on raw food. He talk ed a gibberish which could not be understood, and nothing regarding his history could be learned. IHe was committed to the poor house at Steubenville. About a fortnight before Christmas the yacht Tolanthe, with three men on board, sailed out of Port Philip Bay, Victoria, and was never seen again. On Dec. 26th a huge white shark was caught at Frankston, a small village near Melbourne. Some of the loungers on the beach face tiously suggested that relies of the missing crew might be looked for in side the fish. The shark, therefore, was cut open, andin its stomach were actually found a hiuman hand, a mass of sodden rags, a broken wooden pipe and a gold watch and chain. The watch was immediately recognized as having belonged to one of the yachts men who had been on board the lolan the. The people of the town of Nc\\" Philadelphia, O. are greatly perplex ed over the relationship of a family | residing there. It scems that a wid ower married a widow with a grown laughter, and he had a young son. His brother married his step dangh ter, and to them a daughter was born. ilis son and his brother’s daughter were married, and have a child, It is evident, says a correspondent, that his brother is his step-son-in-law, and that he is uncle and grandfather to his brother’s child while his wife is mother and sister-in-law to her own daughter, and is aunt and grand mother to her granddaughter. s e A plan recently introduced into Belgium for preserving wood from the decay produced by the atmos phere, water, ete., ete., is to fill the pores of the wood with liquid gutta percha, which is said to effectually preserve it from moisture and the ac tion ofthe sun. The process employ ed consists in exhausting the air from the pores of the wood and filling them with gutta percha solution, in pour ing the solution into the pore. The solid gutta percha is liquefied by mixing it with paraffin in proportion of about two-thirds of gutta percha to one-third of paraflin; the mixture is then subjected to the action of heat, and the gutta percha becomes sufficiently liquidto be easily intro duced into the pores of the wood. The gutta percha liquefied by this process hardens in the pores of the ‘wood as it becomes cold. THE SOUTH. Fancy a country of varied surface, mountain and plain, hill and date, symmetrical slopes and rounded knolls, and broad savanas carpeted with perpetual green, and breezy up land purple with rising and setting suns; a land voeal of Mippling streams, where furrowed fields make generous response to the appeal of the hus bandman, and forests of primeval growth keep guard over measurless areas of soil never yet touched by the ploughshare a land of flocks and herds, of fruits and flowers, of grain and grass; a land fruitful of whatever is needed for the sustenance, the com fort and happiness of man, for his highest physical, intellectual and moral developement; a land of soft atmosphere and element skies, of bold rivers and broad estuaries : a land of kindly hearts and hospitable homes, of brave men and beautiful women : a land consecrated by noble deeds and illustrious with immortal names, a land of pure hearthstones and un defiled sanctuaries—fancy such a country, we say, and if you bea dweller in this fair land ot the South, look around you; beholding all you have fancied, lift up your heart in grateful recognition of the good Provi dence that has placed you in the midst of so many blessings. | A TOUCHING SCENE. “There was a pathetic scene on a “train on the Western Division of the Erie Saturday,” said a conductor on thatroad toa New York Sunreporter. A woman boarded the train at Olean. ‘She carried in her arms a baby but afew weeks old. It was Very cross and peevish, and defied all of its nurse’s efforts to keep it quiet. Its cries were at times so loud and piere ing that the other passengers could not hide their annoyance, and after awhile audible expressions of their feelings came from all parts of the car. The woman was patient under the double trial of the child’s trouble someness and the evident knowledge of the annoyance it was to her fel low passengers. She talked sooth ingly to the child, placed it in all po sitions and tried to so arrange its wrappings as to, in a measure, deaden the sound of its eries. Finally some one in the car, whose impatience had got the better of his sympathy, shout ed out: . “If that child can’t be kept quiet, I hope it may be removed from the car at the next station 77 “This unteeling remark seemed to meet with general approval, and the woman’s eyes filled with tears, and in attempting to speak her feelings over came her and she pressed the ba by closer to her and sobbed violently. She soon recoverd herself and re doubled her efforts to keep the child quict. Forashorttime shesucceeded somewhat, but presently the cries of the baby were as loud and prolonged as ever. At last a man arose and said sharply : “Madam, it would seem to me that the mother of an infant shonld know at least how to take half care of it.” “The train had now stopped at Sal amancy. At the remark of the sec ond speaker the woman arose in her seat and facing the car full of passen gers, said, in a trembling voice: “Tam not this poor little thing's mother. I never saw it before yes terday, and 1 believe it hasn’t a liv. | ing relative. Its father was killc(li on the railroad a week before it was born. Its mother, living in a «]istant! place, hurried to the scene of her husband’s death. Thelchild was born among strangers, and day before yes terday the mother died, leaving her little one with no one to care for it. I lived in the house where the moth er died and volunteered to do what 1 could for the poor little thing and to go with the dead woman’s remains to her native place. Her body ison this train. I am sorry the child is seo troublesome, but isn’t it entitled to some little sympathy 7 “The effect of the woman’s words may be imagined, There were few dry eyesin the car when she dropped, sobbing, into the her seat. All sel fishness was lost in sympathetic thoughts of the desolate little wan derer, and a score of hands that a moment before were almost willing to raise in chastisement of the bab: were now anxious to extend aid to it and its self-sacrificing guardian. It was a touch of nature that makes the whole world kin.” i o s i SOME GOOD, HARD COMMON SENSE. The industrious, intelligent man who works along steadily in the regu lar line of his occupation will be bet ter off at the end of any five or ten years than the average of holders of subordinate offices, just as the man who works methodically on his farm will be better off than 19 out of 20 who dig spasmodically in gold mines. — Philadeiphia Ledger (Ind.) ’ HOW TO MANAGE A MAN. San Francisco News Letfer. ~ Nothing on earth fetches a man like a good dinner and a well-dressed wife presiding. The husband who can look forward tosuch a state of things every day of his life will never tire of home, and the wife who studies his comfort will have little difficulty in managing him according to her will. Men are gregarious animals, and will. wander in spite of all allurements, but they are selfish enough to remain where they are best treated, and by taking a little trouble for a year or two of married life the years that follow will, as a rule, find the husband always glad to go back to the pretty home where smiles await him and the din ner I spoke of. There are so many women who object to being “bossed,” as they callit. My dear ladies, you can always be boss if you ke the trouble. By giving in you get your own way as you never would by fight ing for it. And, afterall, it is better to feel you respect your husband so much that to give in to him is not a difficulty. Nine men out of ten are manageble if you go the right way about it, and one great point is to actafter marriage Just as you did before. Argument and contradition are vital enemies to married peace. Should you wish for anything particularly, dont insist up on it after refusal. Some women are persistent, and ask; “Why may i not? Why won't you dg as I tell you ?” and irritate the man. Rather bide your time, and make an extra good dinner of his favorite dishes, put a bow on of the color he likes, make home and yourself sweeter than ever. You'll get it sure, even if you have to wait. Also, when you want him to do any particular thing which you know will be for his good, for heaven’s sake do mnot say “Do it.” Rather drop a hint that you think so and so would be a good thing to do. Gethim interested, and then let the subject drop. Iventure to say that in a short time that man will do precisely as you wished ;he will never permit you to think that he has traded the least on your coinmon sense. | CATTLE ON THE PLAINS, A ranchman writing to the New York Sun gives a sad picture of the “cattle horror,” the result of extreme cold weather in Western Kansas and the Indian Territory. He says that the losses of this winter will doubt less wreck many cattle companies and show staggering figures on the wrong side of the ledger to many more ; yet the business will still zo on, and not until the strong hand of the law com pels him will greedy man provide food for his cattle during the long, hard winters that seem to have come to stay in the West. Fifty per cent. loss! What does that mean? Simply that one-half the herd, wading mile after mile through endless snow and storm, consumed with thirst and flayed by the pitiless wind, in vain search for food, shelter and water. These gaunt specimens of man’s brutality to animals finally drop from sheer exaustion, and never rise, or huddle together and pile up and die in heaps like hogs. And the end is not yet, for every stockman knows that the most trying time is‘l yet to come. Breeding cattle, starved through the winter and weak almost unto death, when ealving time comes will be too weak to rise, and cow and calf will perish where they lic. A correspondent of the Kansas City Journal says that on the ranch es up in the Territory that dead cat tle were litterally piled up. The great difficulty is to get water for these enormous herds. The creeks are all frozen to the bottoms, and a large number of cattle, in rustling for water, slip down upon the ice, and from prolonged fasting are so ‘weak that they cannot again get up on their feet, and are soon chilied through ana die. The creeks through out the range are now strewn with dead cattle that have thus perished. In very severe weather cattle will herd together very close, and when they become very cold they will crowd upon one another and pile up like hogs. In this way large num bers are killed, and bunches of dead cattle that met their death in this manner may be seen frequently throughout the range. | Thousands, ay, hundreds of thous-l ands of famished,. starved and dead cattle in the land where feed is plen ty is certainly a scene that of itself propounds the inguiry, “Why should this state of affairs continue?” 40~ —— e The cultivatiorr of the olive is rap idly extending in Californa. One man at Santa Yuez has planted fifty thousand cuttings during the past two years. o — A — e . The Marietta Journal is only $l.OO in clubs of ten or more. > %&. ~~V ~‘ & ey f@bx Marietts Journal, ESTABLISHED IN 1866, : :———“‘“:_—g_hfi—____:“ OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE CIITY AND COUNTY, e L L P e L S }V. ? ;Id\ii‘i}{" } Editors and Prop's. JOB PRINTING in all styles of the art neatly, promptly and cheaply executed Give us a trial and see, i . NO. 14. ANOTHER GENIUS GONE, ¥ The postmaster at Lickskillet, Ark., writes as follows: “Don’t send your paper any more to Oscar Hallum, fnr he’s dead. He wuz a mighty good reader, he wuz, and would sometimes read one of your jokes in such a fun ny way that folks would laugh. Twan’t what wuz in the artikle but it wuz the way he read it. “He oughter been the editor of a paper like yourn. That feller could serew up his mouth an’ make a dog laugh. He could holler jest like a panter, an’ many a man has tuck to his heels when he heard Oscar er yel lin”in the woods. His daddy allus wanted him to I'arn the shoe-makin’ trade, but he had too much ability fur any sich foolishness as that. Ef[had er had his nack I woulder jined a show. He couldn’t write like a county clerk, but what he wrote was thar. e w'n’t hemmed in by Webster nor none of yout spellin’ book makers. When an idee popped into his head,- an’ they was everlastingly a-poppin,” he jes slammed her down an’ let old Web ster jog along the best way he could. “1 wish he hader lived, fur it grieved the old man, powerful when he died. “Jist to think,’ said he to me t'urher day at the buryin,’ that Oscar should er destroyed so much viddults an’ then died. It's mighty nigh more than I could bar.” Theerd a feller say some time ago that you was on the lookout fur a man o'sense, so 1 thought I'd tel yer about him, but he’s dead.”— Arkansaw Traveler. Mercurry is more destructive to human health and life than war, pes tilence and famine combined. So said a distinguished writer many years ago, and it is as true to-day as then. The poor victim of Blood Dis ease is drugged with Mercury to cure the malady, and then dosed with lo dides to cure him of the Mercurial Poisoning: but instead of any relief, the first breaks down his general health and makes him a eripple, and the other ruins his digestive organs. Mercury and Potash are dangerous even when administered by directions and under the eye ofa good physi cian, and when put up in nostrums, often by incompetent persons, are apt to produce evil eonsequences. Be caretul of these poisonous mixtures or you may regret it. Swift’s Specfie is entirely a vegetable prepration and should not be confounded with the various imitations, non secret hum bugs, “Succus Alterans,” ete., all of either contain Mercury and Potash, or are composed of old remedies which have long since been disearded as of value in the treatment of Blood Dis eases, and none of them contain a single article which enters into the composition of Swift's Specific. There is only one Swift's Specific (8. 8. 8.) and there is nothing in the world like it. Be sure to get the genuine. I have been infllicted for nearly fourteen years with the severest form of inflamatory rheumatism. For a large portion of the time was confin ed to bed, and suffered the most ex cruciating pain, my legs badly swol len. My case was thought ineurable by the physicians, and I have often hoped that death would ensue and re lieveme of puin. Last month Isecured, at the suggestion of a friend, one doz en bottles ot Swift’s Specifie, and after using about six bottles I am entirely free from pain, the first time in near ly fourteen years. My joints are be coming more suple and the swelling gone. lam ready to answer any in quiries as to the facts in the case. G. W. ST, CLaAIr. Cabot, Ark., April 19, 1884. Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mails ed free. Tue Swirr Seecivic Co., Drawer 3, Atlan ta, Ga. HEAVIER THAN DOUGH. “What is the heaviest thing in the world 77 asked young Sharply of Mrs. Badger, his landlady, as he poised a biscuit in his hand. - “I should say it was money.” “Ah?” inquired she young man. “Yes, because you never seem strong enough to raise sufficient mon ey to pay your board when it is due.” Mr. Sharpley ecats his buscuits now without asking any conundrums. e A G P ee, A man called on a druggist for something to cure headache. The perseription clerk promptly clapped the amonia bottle to his nose and nearly stifled him. On recovering his forces he made a wicked punch at the clerk’s head. “Hold on,” re marked that individual, “wasn’t I (uick about it, and didn‘t I cure your headache?” “Headache be hanged,” exclaimed the man, “it's my wife’s got the headache.” - Beware of Mercury and Potash, Inflamatory Rheumatism.