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THE QUITMAN BANNER, rimJSIIEtf EVERY FRIDAY. TERM3 OF SUBSCRIPTION. I.V Ai>VANOi. Toroneyoar $3 00 For six months 2 00 For three* months I 00 For single copy 10 CLUB RATES FOR SUBSCRIPTION. For a club of five $12.50 For a club of ten . . $22.50 For a club of twenty SIO.OO JOB PRINTING. We have attached to our newspaper establish ment a <‘on»plete Job Office. Hand-bills of all kinds. Programmes, Cards, Blanks, Pamphlets, A#., executed in the best manner. S. M. LEDEIJEII. I. M. FRANK. OUSTAVE ECKSTEIS. I SAM’L M. LEDERER &.CO,, Importers of and Dealers in DOMESTIC, mmM da FAICT SET kotos, 113 Broughton street, Savannah, Ga. Bales of Brown SlieetJng, Cases of American Prints, j Cases of Bleached Goods, Bat. sos Brown Shirting, Cases of Kentucky Jeans, I Bales of Blankets, Bales of Ozraburgs, Cases of Kerseys, | Bales of Flannels. Having removed to our very large ami spacious building, we are enabled to keep the Largest Stock Ever Offered in Savannah, and Merchants Visiting Our city arc especially invited to pay a visit to our Extensive .Separate Wholesale Department, before purebaaimr. November 22. ‘(>7. 42-tm NEW YORK. -[ Ml* \!< ii Al. S! FIKIUM.S N. 1 ther v> e:\Hh, or Cuiklh ion, tire i The J’mt.uTiorEtUnules’ Friend is expressly for the beiuttU of leinalos who may bo ; fMitTcriuy from Noiwous Irritability. DLstiesidng Ap|)relH , n , ‘i(ins. ami all these troublesome com plaints that invite premature old age. aud render life iiisorftblo The Philo to ken acts liken charm in r licving pain : and by controlling the not vou svsicm. re<-Toro< those l‘e**llngs of confidence and -citrsl act ion that insure happiness. It is a* rud fid cure for Dysmenorrhua. and a treasure tb.i* shoul-i. he possessed hy every female who do* co* lo restore, improve, < preserve her! her tip beauty and phy . cal com for f. Descrip tiv * pamphlets, cord lining \aluable in formation for invalids and heads of funiltes, will hesent on rcc *ipt of postage stamp. Price $1 per bottle ; j the usual discount to the trade. HAIM?AL. KISLEY S: GO.. Wholesale Druggists, 141 Chambers at., N. V. UISI.EirSBXTB.ACT BUCHU. Ttie most efttcient Diuretic and Tonic tor 1 the (reHttnent of ail complaints resulting from vrr tkftv.ia and dxrnngetnent o r the Kidneys und | Ur nary Organs such as pains and weakniw* in j tbe back and loins, gravel, drops'*, Rtrungunry. fricouMhehca*. inflamlulon or the mucus rtlTfact s, j Ac. Kisl.kv's JU enr can be used in all cases, for eliildren as welt ft adults, with perfect safety. Physician* are finding that Kireev's is the most uniform and reliable preparation, beside being of greater strength and in larger bottles than any others. Sold by Jin* DnigzlM*»nd Merchants fer $1.50. HARKAL, UiSI.EV Sl (TO., Proprietors, i X. B. All officinal preparations of medicines , bearing our label are made according to the l\ f S. I’barinacopipia. and'aU goods sold by us are warranted to be as represented, or may be re- J timed at our cxpofUM* Determfoed to maintain the reputation which J our house* have always enjoyed for dealing in j Keuaiu.kMktllffxfcft. and to merit the cominuw] i confidence of our customers, we assure them that the -ame attention will be paid to orders by j mail a> when personally present. HARRAL, RISLEY & CO., Wholesale Drat/fpsls, 141 CiiAMßKit? and J HtJßsrtN St-e. NEV. VoRK. | tfucc<*ww>r» to ijayiland. K<*c-<- AC« 1 s:50: JlavMrtf! T 7 **al <f* RMr v : Jiarrul, Kisley A* Kitchen; ’ al, Kisley A Tompkins.. CARHART & BROTHER, Ziatc of Georgia. Importers £ Wetesalt Dealers in Staple au<l Fancy mbsaßaaOs 17 Barclay St. and 22 Park Place, •tVir- 11»i*A‘. September D. !*#7. um T ii E DECKER AGO. ' 7VOKY ACI Aft- FK P A it BIAS® FOETUS \RI3 celebrated tLrenglwv.it the conntrv. and are distingpitheU for ih- ir Ringing Quality; i Volume and purity of tone ; Sympathetic Elastic j even touch. Durability of construction, and beau ty of finish! First awi trded at the New York State Fair ifi IKSK. and whenever and whererer exhibited. The Decker & Company Pianos have always .received the Find Premium irLtotw arid irlo-.re t>-rr they have competed with the most celebra ted mnker 4 * In this . untry. The Ivory Agraffe Bar i* an Invention beauti ful in ifs simplicity. ami wonderful in it* practi catweef. I* -compact Grrare ever , invented. and its influence upon thu toao is to ! render it mellower, roun ler, and inora. clearly brilliant. while- it utterly overcomes that sharp, m' talic qnalitv which disfis'nres the instrument of all other link era. The unanimous opinion of thd b**st artists and the most reliable cri»ic-i. is that the Decker & Company Ivory AgraUr liar PUao.J-'»rto. which in voluminourly ronoruy. and positive solidity of tone, can at.imi companeou with the best giand llano Fortes made. No. 2 Union Square, for. of I ith Pa. and 4tb avenue, NEW YORK. ./firm-try 3-F*7-tf £*ra.<ly 6c Tally, pijllv Ain on\A’rr%*TAT. FiASVRRXRft, pm* sifa^sui, Katsoinimng and Repairing Neatly executed. I me. Lath, Tlastcr. Kair. Cement and Buildinrr e--yIS-3y yar.ria! ;or ** 1 1 F. E. FILDES, Editor. VOL. 111. BALTIMORE HOUSES. I WYI. CAMIY. BERNARD UfI.FIN. Canby, Gilpin Cos., IMPORTERS AN)) JOBBERS OF DRUOS, Northwest Gor. Lvurr ami Lombardy Str. jiM/mronrm/>. JOHN w. BRUPP & C 0„ in ills! my m. JNO. *3 I T> Mail iinoi*** Between Charles and Randolph sts. John W. BiMifT, ) John IV. linker, t DALTIIViORE. Job. i-i Bruff, t A. B Pabftnor * nug2R-!y* DARBY & CO., IMROHTEUS INI) DKAI.KUS LN aoui No. 296 Wf-Bl Baltimore St. and No, 1 N. Liberty St lluitimoiT, Maryland. ang23 29- 6m* Fassano, Magruder & Cos., Wholesale Dealers in ltoolsShoe* A hr 258 Baltimore St., BA L 1 MORE, MAIt YEA SI) an g 23 29-Cm* GRIFFIN, BROTHER & CO. COGGERS Commission ?Ucvchduts, 105 LOMBARD STREET, Maryland. WHOLESALE DEALERS I.V BACON, CORN, FLOUR, SUGAR, COFFEE, LIQUORS, And Groceries of Every Dezcnjytion. April 12, 1867. 11-fy Fountain Hotel, 1 Light Street, BALTIMORK, Maryland. W. 11. ClaJbsiugli, Pro. i Oiunibuft and Bairgasre Wagon in attendance up on all Depots and Boat Landings. L. Fassano & Sons, | IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN NOTIONS, Fancy Goods,HUsiei^ 1 Trimmings and Small Wares, *268 XV. Daltim >i;r. St., . I» \LTIMOKE »g-3 _____ nTotograph Giillcry! «»* r JE Et J. W. STALNAKER & GO’S Store. QUITMAN. IHAVUjtistri'Op' iietl, and am now projiat*'! I*. f rm.h any haracl r of licti.re cail«i for, in the form of bhotOgrapiis, ambkotybes, AND FERROTYPES, At flip lojri-at prices for good work. I fill breast pinx. loekn . ntc.,'.in tire la at'Mjbi. I aUo o-opy from any picture in any t>t;. In required. .My suc cess in till* business, for ten years, ban given ' entire su isfaetion. A. N. R. WiiiGHT. { mfl AT THE \i.\ssm GROCERY. HERE SHALL THE PRESS THE PEOPLE'S RIGHTS MAINTAIN, UNAWED BY TEAR AND UNBRIBED BY GAIN QUITMAN, GEO., MARCH 13, 1868. llisttllaitwms Vicabing. From I’rocUm's National Magazine, MRS. RRESTS’ BABY. BY CLARA AUGUSTA. Mr. Ellery Cor ban was an exceedingly 1 nervous man. He came honestly l>y it, for his mother was nervous before him . Mr. Corban was a bachelor of 45 re markably well preserved and rather fine I looking. He had a portly figure a flor id complexion and hud a head of dark i brown hair which any man might have ! excused for feeling proud of; Mr. Corban was very well off. lie had never kept house perhaps because he knew that elderly bachelors and widow ora were generally fated to marry their housekeepers ; and Mr. Corban regarded marriage and tlie gallows about on a par. Women and babies ho considered a very unnecessary part of creation. r llie mystery of their having been allowed an existence he could never solve. He could not help regarding their creation us a grave mistake somewhere. lie boarded at Mrs. Greggs aud had made his home there for fifteen years Mrs. Gregg was as much like a man as she could be and still be a woman. One day last summer it became evi ient to Mr. Corban that he must take a journey west. The interests of his busi ness demanded it; so lie put a few things nto a valise said good morning to Mrs. Gregg and set out for the depot. He was 5 minutes late for his necktye had given him a great deal of trouble, u,d lie had been unable to find a pair of stockings which were not destitute of toes. Hut he had comforted himself with the reflection that, as he had boots m nobody would be the wiser in regard t,o tin* unclad condition of his toes aud at last he got off. lie heard the whistle and started on the run. If there is anything especial 'y calculated to put one out of temper it h having to run to catch the cars ; ami mi hero may he excused if, when drip oing with perspiration nnd completely nit of breath lie rushed into the first which offered, he was iiritatcd with all | th ) world andhinsi If i.-.chidod. The car was well filled. In fact there j was only one vacant seal, and that was i beside a woman. Corban t urned to seek the next car j hut was met hy the conductor at the j loor. ‘No room in there sir ! All full, j Anniversary meeting at Parkersburg, j There’s a seat sir!’ indicating the one he j side the woman. Corban was troubled with a touch of the rheumatism in his left knee, and could not stand comfortably —nothing else could have forced him to get so near one of the sex. He stepped up to her and made theStcn'typed intjuiry, ‘This seat engaged V ‘No sir, replied a very sweet v Geo : and Corban saw that the speaker had ex pressive blue eyes and golden hair. He took the scat and the lady drew the bundle she had been partially resting on the ciishon into her lap. 'Better let me put your bundle up on Ihe rack ? suggested Mr. Corban. The lady opened her yi , with indig nant amazement, whipped off a layer of flannel from the package and displayed to the horrified eyes of our bachelor friend the red puffy face of a rnoou eyed baby ! i 'Murder’s pitte twoety sugar darling !’ she exclaimed in the dialect which is perfectly intelligible to all babydorn. ‘Murder wont let the naughty man put the yittie lai»y lumpy baby up on the rack !’ The baby struck out menacingly with its fat fists in the direction of Mr* Cur tain and gave utterance to a yell of tri umph. Mr. Corban brok“ into a celd perspira tion. He had never been so near a ba by before in all his life—and a baby and a woman too ! It was almost too much for him. lie had a strong mind to stand the remainder of the way or until somebody vacated a seat : but his knee gave an : extra twinge and decided him to try and endure the terrible state of things. lie took a paper from his pocket and i essayed U> read ; but * baby bad out ir; one of those baby iHr »,i»s which is like music in the ears of all mothers and the cooing 8 > < mi used o ut* bachelor hero that lie could make no sense of his paper so he pocketed it with the sav age determination to petition the next Congress for women with babies to be kept in a car by themselves. At the first stopping place he was on the lookout for a seat and to his joy dis covered the gentleman in the next car making preparations to leave ; but be fore he was fairly out of his seat an old lady in a green shawl and a poke bon , net had edged into it and cut off all Mr. j Corbau’s hopes. j Os corn sc she turned around’ and be gan at once to talk to the baby. I ‘Dor little chicken ! llow old is it, ! marm v | ‘Almost 8 months/ said the proud 1 in other. ‘Well, I dcrliiro ! wlnt a l.upo child of its ago ! Why there was my Knoch, when ho was year ho warn’t j n he nor grsin bigger than that child! But then i Knoch he had the whooping cough, and the ntcaseU and the nettle rash, and the Colla.-ettu iidanthide afore ho xvnss 11 months ! And I expect them diseases hail some eileet on his constitution ! ‘I should think so replied/ the baby's mother. ‘You look tired, dear,’ went on the old lady ; the baby must be dreadful heavy. Why dent you let his pa take I him Y with uu expressively reproachful glance at the savage countenance of Mr. Cpl'ban. ‘i’m not iiis pa?’ grumbled Mr. Corban, pulling his hat a little farther down over his eyes. 'Oil ! you aint ? Wall, now, that's cu ris !’ said the old lady. ‘1 should have thought _iou was for sartin ! The baby is the image of ye- jest the same kind of a nose; and its eyes has get the same ixptessiun.’ Expression, indeed ! Mr. Corbnn was boiling over I lie had always particular ly prided himself on his expression ; hero was this old ogre comparing him to that dumpling faced, huckleberry eyed baby I ‘ V\ all,’ said tlio old lady, slowly, as though she had reached the conclusion after some thought, ‘I ’sposo as it’s like• ly this is a postmortem child, which means one as is born after the death of its father, and you married its mother rather soon afler ils mother died. Wall, that's got to be dreadful common now. jlut my Elijah has been dead nigh onto 1U mouths, and 1 imiii’t began to think of a 2nd pardner. Though, Squire Audsou, he has been ruther retentive to me late ly; and the squire is lelt so helpless and oufortinit with them six children of his, that l don’t know. I hope the Lord will show me my duty, and give me strength to take the squire for better or for worse, if ils right and Lent. I don’t want to shirk no duty, marm. When did your lirst husband die, maim ?’ ‘J’arkCrstmrg ! : screamed the conduct or. ‘Stop live minutes fur refreshments! Change cars tor Willingfurd, Amsterdam and Myrtle-Bridge I’ The woman with the baby arose quick ly. A (brill of joy went through Mr. Corban. lie thought she was at her journey's end. tie, too, ruse with alao riiy. 'Can I assist you anyway, madam?’ he asked, gallantly. 1 rtiauk you. 1 will just trouble you to bold the bahy while ! go and get. a cup of coffee. 1 breakfasted early, and need something warm. Be careful and hold his head high, he is subject to the croup.’ And before Corban could utter one word by way of refusal, she hud put the baby in liis arms, and was rushing ofl’ with thu crowd. Our unfortunate hero felt himself grow ing hot and cold alternately. Ho had served two yea s with credit in thu war, and been in a score of battles, bat through it all, lie had never experienced such a sinking at thu stomach us came over him now. Most of the passengers left the cars; aud Corban would have done likewise, but lie feared lie might lose sight of the baby’s mother, and the train would start without him. S", in an agony of terror lest some thing dreadful should happen, he stood there in the aisle, holding the baby at arms’ length, und fixing liis frantic gaze on the door through which iiis deliverer would come. ‘All aboard I’ called the stentorian voice of anew conductor—and the peo ple rushed in. But the passengers were, most of them, new ones, for there was a junction at Parkersburg; and, must ol all, the baby’s inothel was not among them I The bell rung; the cars were moving; the door was shut witli a hang, and the train was off. Corban waxed desperate. ‘Hallo, there !' lie called to the conduc tor. 'Stop ; this train can't go on; there’s a woman led'', behind I Sl* went to get a cup of coffee. Stop I I tell you, this instant, sir I’ 'What’s up?’ asked the conductor. ‘She’s left the baby ’ Your wife ? Oil I never mind. Such till,, n oc cur frequently. She’ll come next train.’ 1 tel! you to stop I I shall go crazy I And Oh, Lord I what shall l do with the baby ? Say, I’ll give you five dollars —ten dollars —twenty—yes, fifty dollars, if you’ll put back and let me off at Par kersbnrg.’ 'I should have no objection to the mon ey, sir; but I couldn’t oblige you if you were one of the Uotlichilds !’ And the conductor passed on. 'Bless your soul, sir !’ said the old lady in the next sea", giving Corban a nudge with her parasol, ‘you'll suffocate that bahy I Don’t you see you’re holding him with Ids feet v.licro his head had urlcr be ? lie’s wrong side up '.’ Corban hastily rescued the youngster, ; which uttered a'shrill jell at his ucat nil. lit. 'You’d ort to he ashamed of yomselll’ went on the eld lady, indignantly, ‘to toss that blessed child round in sich an uuhtttmin way/ A man never ort to have no children that don’t have no mit ral feelitt toward 'em. Sir, you was a baby once yerself I’ dust then a thin, yellow-faced woman, slipped into the seat in front of Mr. Cur ban. She was middle-aged, but her dress had all the yuth tie/uoss of sixteen ‘Lovely child I’ she exclaimed, iiisinu at i ugly. The baby bagan to squizzle up ils face, and tiorisb its heel* and fists, ‘Dear me I how forward it is I llow old is it, sir V inquired the sp'nistor, for such she was. ‘I don’t know !' growled Corban. ‘Been a widower long, sir?’ inquired the lady. ‘No; I've never had a wife I’ ‘Bless me I’ cried the lady; ‘then she is run away and left I Dear I dear I how could she leave such a nice man, and such a dear, durlirg little baby ?’ ‘What’s that,’ inquired a middle-aged gentleman near by, who was evidently a little deaf, ‘your wife gone and left you, sir? Just my case, sir, exactly.— My poor Jane departed this lile last May. 1 got her the handsomest gravestone that money could buy. There’s an an gel on it, with till her wings spread, and this Latin description —ltequires lit v* cal in pence. The gravestone maker said that would lie a good epigram; and ) consented, as she was fond ot a eat.’ By this lime the baby began to cry lustily, and the whole ear sympathized especially the female passengers. ‘lt’s got the clmlery morbus I’ said the old lady previously mentioned. ‘lt’ll die for sartin if something hain’t done I’ ‘Die I You don’t think so ?’ cried Cor ban. ‘Dear me I’ said the thin faced lady, ‘what an inhuman woman it's mother was .’ ‘Take it, my good lady, do I cried Cot bail, imploringly. 'l'll give you a bun dred dollars to take it.’ ‘What is all this row about ?’ said a sharp-nosed little man, with a newspa per in his hand. ‘A child, is it ? Fall back gentlemen, hind id me look at it. Jt it thuuld lie the ‘llow ? What do you mean ? queried a dozen voices. 'll is I it is I It can’t be no other !' ex claimed the sharp-nosed man, excitedly. 'How strange, that I should chance upon il I Listen to this, gentlemen; and he read Loin the paper this notice : "Stolen —supposed to have been stolen fr m its carriage in Centra! Park, oil the morning of the eighteenth inst., a male child, about nine months old. Said child has blue eyes, and rather dark hair; and is a remarkably forward and interesting child. Any person who will return him to his afflicted parents, at No. , Forty-Ninth street, or g.ve information that will lead to Ins recovery, shall re ceive a reward of three hundred dollars. 1,. ltoscoe.” 'Wall I I never I’ exclaimed the old la dy. ‘lt must be the very same baby I Thh child lias gut blue eyes, and dark hair, and pears remarkably forward I’ 'Yes, ma’am, unquestionably the very same,’ remarked t lie sharp nosed man, confidently; ‘consider it my duly to take possession.' ‘Oh, take it, do !' cried Corban, implo ringly; I’ll give a hundred dolluisto get it off my hands I’ ‘No doubt you would, my man; but I ain’t took in that way. My name is Smitbers— Peter Smitliers, sir; and 1 live iu Albany. I'm a magistrate, sir; arid I arrest you for ebild-str aiing. '1 tell you J didn’t steal it. She went off after a cup of coffer.’ ‘Don’t trouble yourself to repeat that story again. 1 understand the case ful ly,’ said Mr. Smitbers, promptly. ‘Con ductor, t-i there a place on the tiain where this rascal would bo any safer than hero ?’ ‘We don’t run prison vans,’ responded that worthy, sulkily. ’ ‘Well, gentlemen,' said Mr. Smitliers, blandly; ‘you are all men of honor, aud have wives and children, or ought to have; and you all have fooling* of sym pathy, doubtless, for the parents of this j unfortunate babe; and I depend upon you, gentlemen, to assist u.e in guarding j him until we reach a station, where 1 can place him in charge of the official. At the next stopping place, 1 will telegraph j to Bridcswall, and have constables ready j to take possession of him the moment we : a. rive. ‘You shall pay dearly for this I roared Corban, now fairly infuriated. 'Yes, sir! PH take the law bold of you tile moment we get anywhere where there is any law! Call me a rascal, indeed !’ Just then the sharp signal to down brakes sounded; and in a tew moments there was a slight slunk, and the Ira n came to a sudden stop. Everybody rushed out to ascertain the difficulty; and,it was found that a i wheel of the engine had broken, and the j 1 icoinorive was partially off the track. [53.00 per Annum NO. 7. No oho whs injured; but it would or copy some time to get tilings so Unit tin next train could run; and, in the menu time, Mr Curium thought, with rupture, he could make his escape. 110 formed the plan of dropping the I baby and Hoeing to the woods. In the i bustle anil confusion it could only be ae complished, Ilut he had reekone 1 with out his host, Mr. Smilhers, was right a: his ellmw. lie had uo notion of allowing I that tempting reward to slip through his j fingers; and a couple of other men kept | guard with him. And there stool poor Oorhan holding the whimpering baliy and expostulating, swearing, and bins tering in a way that made all the ladies decide that he was a monster—and they gave him and the baliy a wide berth. Suddenly the whistle of the next car from Parkersburg was heard A bright hope sprang up in Corhnn’s breast. It was possible that the baby’s mother might bo on board. He rushed forward, hut Mr. Smitliers seized his arm and held him back', ‘Be quiet, sir!’ said lie. Ttemcpibcr, 1 yon are under arrest !’ ■4'lie train had been warned of the do tention of the first express, and came In a halt at il little distance behind;, and the ! moment it did so, the door of one of the earringes were burst open, and out leaped the baby's mother. A cry of joy came from (ha ban; and with one bound, he broke the grasp of: Mr. Smithers upon his arm, and rushed toward her. ‘Uh ! my baby I My precious baby !' screamed she, snatching the baby from Oorhan. ‘My darling ! My little angel darling ?' null she fell to kissing it in n way that set all the ladies round about to pulling out their handkerchiefs and cxchiimitig : ‘Did yon ever?’ ‘God bless you I’ ciied Oorbun, enthu siastically. ‘1 never was so glad to sec any mortal being before !’ ‘Oil ! yon delightful man !' cried she, shaking hands with him. ‘i am so much obliged to yon for taking care of my lit tle lamb ! You see I got btdated ;i mo ment —the coffee was so dreadful hot !’ Mr. Sniithcr’s face had grown very long. ‘Then it. is got Mr. Lewis Homme's child '! And it has not been stolen ?' he asked, dubiously 1 . '1 should rather think not !’ replied the mother, indignantly. ‘lt is my child, hi- ! All 1 have left of the dear husband who gave op his life .it Goal Harbor, two months after baby’s birth.’ ‘I most heartily beg your pardon, sir,’ said Smitliers, addressing Mr. (J- ‘i.— I, that is, 1 didn’t t ink—Von see ———.' ‘Mind your own business, sir,’ said Mr. Oorhan, shortly; ‘and continue io do so for the rest of your life—that’s my ad vice, sir.’ Mr. Oorbitn and Airs. Brent—for that was the young widow’s name—gut very friendly and familiar by the time the train was ready to go on; and Mr. 0. took the next seat by her side with a real f cling of delight, now. She was going on a visit to see some friend in the very city where his busi ness called him; and lie obtained permis sion to call on her and inquire about the baby. And in due time—l cannot tell how it came about, for there is no accounting tor tilings oi this kind—Mr. Durban con cluded that he was tired ot boarding— Mrs- Gregg luidfcbceome so neglectful of her boarders comfort; so lie ed Mrs. Brent to the alter and set up a home of his own with a wife and baby. Go to him now, and utter one word against women and babies and you would get shown to the door without ceremony. Fmvoi.itieh. —A certain doctor, when j called to ehildien, no matter what rn ght he the symptoms always prescribed I r one and the s ime malady—worms. Icing summoned one day to the bedside ot a little hoy he gravely sat down, and hav-, ing felt the patient’s pulse, looked up gravely through Ids spectacles ad sa.d to the mother in a solemn tone, 'Worms, madam woi ms.” To which the mother responded,‘‘l tell ye, doctor, the b y hain’t got a single worm. He stumbhil over a stick of wood and broke his leg, and I want it set quick.” The doctor not at all limphiss and, but bt 11 and b - mined to vindicate his theory put on a I very solemn look as he said, “Aortas, madam, I assure you—Worms in the wood !" Some wags took a drunken felo.v, i placed him in a graveyard and waited to see the effect. AT r a short time th, fumes of the liquor left him and his po sition being rather outlined he sat. up right and after looking around i xclaintcd “Well, I’m the first that’s riz ! or else I’m confoundedly belate l ” A widower was married, a lew days ago at a church mailing a "big splungu” with a brass band. After the interes ting ceremony the band streak up that old. and familiar air. ‘My wife’s dead and I've got aiiotbci on .” Apgtupr*atc. 5 FO3 ADVBTISIHG, 'j IVVAKIAUI Y IN AI)V\N('K. i Ono nf|in ” (10 liin-j. or &•*•«.) first instrtlctt r,lt'll following ilVHTlinn. *1 00. j Win'll mlvvrti I'tiumts HIT* coiitillimf for nfi« f i,i■hi Ili i>r !i)H“V! . llic i * W'i • 1 *•* is l"ll"V> .Sijuarnt. ! r » , L., f . 1 Is 5 no j .*!;) 00 j 15 (Ml I* iJO 00 2 I HOO 1 l.'« 00 25 00 I 55 00 I 1200 I 18 00 35 on 45 00 l .. j It’) 00 21 00 40 00 5‘A 00 5 . I 20 110 I 35 00 45 00 00 00 }, Col iini! Xt 00 I ;5 00 80 00 12fl 00 I•• (SO oo | 80 00 130 00 200 (Hi; Obituary notics, Tributes of' lU'Hpoct. ami a 1 ! u 'til led t> ii personal c'aanictci', charged for a* a IvertisiMnontß. For announcing candidate* for office, SIO.OO Oi.o Tin: os - -Gbe mo old songs thorn* ■xijiiisitf bursts of melody which thrilled the I vires of the inspired p» t*U and min strels of long ago. Every note lias homo on the air a tale of joy and rap tun- -of sorrow ami sadness. They tell of days gone by and time has given them voice that speaks to us of thus? inelo -1 dies ; may they be mine to hear till life shall have end ; as I /launch my bout* on the mi a of eternity may their echoes -1 be wafted on my ear, to cheer me on my passage from earth to heaven. (live me old path?, 1 i avc wandered and ended the flowers of fticid ship in the days of "Auld Lang Syne,” sweeter, far, the i’e Is ‘whose echoes have and whose i 1 s I avo, in childhood** days reflected back our forma, and some of our merry school fellows from whom we have parted and met no more in the old books we loved so well. May the old paths be watered with heaven’s own : dew and be green forever in my mem ury. Give me the old house, upon whose stairs we seem to hear light footsteps, and under whose porth a merry laugh seems to mingle with the winds that whistle through the old elms beneath whose branches lie the graves of thnno who once filled tl.e halls and made the chambers ring with glee. Ab -vo all, give me the old friends hearts bound to mine in life’s sunshiny hours an ! a link so strong that all tho storms of earth might not break it in two spirits congenial whose hearts through lilb have beat in unison with their own. When death si and! still this heart 1 would ask for nothin •; more sacred to hal low my dust tl.un the tear of an old friend. A lb: \uriFi i. Skn’timknt. Dr. Chalmcra beautifully says *. “ The little that 1 have s<vn in the world and known of the his tory of mankind teaches me to look upon j their errors in sorrow not in atigei. When 1 take the history of one poor lie.trt that has sinned and suffered and represent to myself the Hniggles and ’ temptations it passed through the brief pulsations of joy ; the tears of regret ; the feebleness of purpose ; the sc >rn of the wo: Id that has little charily the des* o’aiions of th« sou's s.i ictuary and threatening voices within ; health gone, li ij p ness gone ; I would jfain leave the erring soul of r.iy fellow mm with Him from whose hands it came.” Ct t 11 i-:it Limas.-A newly married coaph* were lately prcsnlat a revival meeting in this. S'.file, and during lliecx e vises, from some cause or other fainted Inti use exc temeiit followed in the midst of which uu old gentleman noted for his antipathy to tight lacing general hard ness of the heart and a bad habit of .stiittesing cried out at the top of his voice to tho distressed husband, who was holding his fainting wife in his arms ‘ A a-ron, damn it, m man, take out your knife and c-ccnt her lacers !’ A gencr a roar of laughter followed even from ihe most sedate but the new made hus band adopted the prescription on tho instant and with success. A Kansas city edior worn skating the other day, and slipped into an air hole. His ' ills caught on the edge of the ice, lhe hole not being big enough to let them through. They partially froze and will be amputt ted and used lur door mats. When intoxicated a Frenchman want# to dance, a German to sing a Spaniard to gamble, an Englishman to eat, an Italian to boast, a llussian to be aft c tiouatc, an Ir simian to light and an American to make a speecln If a man is without enemies.l wouldn’t, give ten cents for all his friends. 1 lio man who can please everybody hasn’t gut sense enough to displease anybody.. Isn’t it wry aft eting to hi hold at sv. wedding the sorrow stricken air of a pa rent as he “gives the bride away.” whom ytdi know that for the last ten years he Inis bemi trying to get her off his hand*. All the pas. ions make us commit faults but love nuilo's us guilty < l the most ndE culoim orn-s. AY! y cannot a deaf man be legally convict ii ? Localise it is not lawful to* convict a man without a hearing. A needle will limit if carefully laid <»w the surface of the water. A bit of soap rubbed on the hinges of doors will prevent their creaking.. Negroes are operating extensively alim/tU lino >.!' tlm Georgia xemral R i vr.nl, iii selling l>ogt» tickets to un -1 Hupliisl'n'iited in oilmen. 1 “Oil, slie was a jewel of a wife,” saiJ Pat, mourning o e the death of hw bet ter Un'f. “title always struck me w'tl* iliu soft in! o t e mop-” Kindi.c.-s"iTTTgulch » elmi-ii ky wUiek s' c'c'y is U>m and t«»g< tt.'-a.