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F. R. FILDES, Editor. VOL. TIL THE OLD COUPEE. They sat in the smi together Till the day was aha *t done, And then, at’tlie close, tin an -el Stepped over tlip threshhold stone. ITe folded their hands together, lie touched their eyelids with balm, And their last breath floated upwarc Like the dose ot a solemn psalm. Like a bridal pair they traversed The unseen, mystical road. That leads t» the beautiful city. Whose Builder and Maker Is God. Perhaps, in that miracle country, They will give her lost youth back, And the flowers of vanished spring time Shall bloom in the spirit’s track. One draught of the living waters Shall restore his manhood s prime, And eternal years shnll measure The love that outlives time. But the shapes they left behind them, The wrinkles and silver hair Made sacred to us by th*» kisses The angel imprinted there. We’ll hide away in the meadow, W hen the sun is low in the west. Where the moonbeams cannot find them, Nor the wind disturb their rest. But we'll let no tell tale tombstone, With its age and date, arise O’er the two who are old no longer - lu their FatlieUs House in the skies. JLESSOJN OF AN EVENING. BY 6YI.VANTS COBB, JR. Agreeable to an engagement made dome weeks previous, I went to a neigh boring town In deliver a lecture, and stopped with Mr. B. ife was an old man, well into the autumn of life, and one of the most influential citizens of tin place. After the lecture was over, I ■walked home with my host, and was in troduced to his family. After Convers ing upon matters of general interest, the tnitjeet of temperance came up,-ai and Mr. li. gave me an account of the state of afi'a is in his town with rcgtid to that cause. ‘lt is ttrange.’ lie si id, ‘how tenaei u ly the habit clings to our people. Only think of it, — a hahit which produces no j good—not a particle, and which -prods- | Ci sso much vice, ciime and mis-ry Should it he discovered, to-u. enow morning, that one of our citi/vns had' the small pox, the whole place would be in a state of alarm before noon, and the most suiuTtiary measures woo'd be re sorted to for the purpose of ci celling its spread. And yet we have a tippling shop, i iglit in our midst, in foil blast, and people pass and repass as uncoil tcrnedly as though there were no danger at all. They know that our churchyard is dotted with drunkard's gravis, and that some of the fairest, of our youth j are on the road to inevitable ruin. I( is strange.’ 'So it is,’l replied. ‘But,’ I added, ‘the cases, as you slate them, are hardly ‘ analogous. In the ease of a contagious disease people are in danger of contract fug a fatal malady wilt.out any will or dispi sition of their own; while in the pnee of intemperance the victim goes de liberately into the danger. 1 suppose : the ind fl'ei i-iico of which you speak, may fn a great measure result from the in clination of out pe pie fn let every man link out for himself. Many firmly be lieve ihat spirits are at I inns benofic'a!; while others, who believe they are not, arc yet willing lliat their ucighhoit. Should have il.e.ir own way. ‘But,’asked 1!., ‘d0 you suppose nm Spirituous liquors can ever he hem fil ial i SB a beverage?’ ‘On the contrary,’ I replied, ‘I thi k t!hcy are a Curse and an iniquity, and Nothing Ilse. But you l ave probably had some experience.’ I meant that lie linusi have ohsc rved a great dial during his long lifer lint ho scea ed to mistake The, for lie at once ret mm <1 ‘Aye,— I have had exp. l ienee. At one time of my life I used intoxicating drinks to an excess, and suffered all natural consequences. It was a curious cir cumstance that finally fixed me in inv purpose of t. lal al stmance. I will tell yon the story if yon wish ’ Os course I wished it; and he pro ceeded : My father died when I was quite young and I was left with my mother and sister, the latter being two years older than myself. VVe were rather poor, anJ at the agent fifteen I entered a stole as clerk; and thus I was enabled to do something towards my mother’s support. M.r sister worked with her needle, and we lived very comfortably. After I had assumed uiy clerkship, a new set of acquaintances were formed, and i soon contracted the habit of drink ing-. W’e had social parties, and 1 be come very fond of them. I w.s easily excited, and a hub: too prune to give way to ti c persuasions < f others; and eie long I became so far tht victim ol appetite, that I olten went and drank alone. I spent my money, injured my, health, darkened my reputation, and brought misery into our little h nm. My mother ahd uiy sister begged of me to bleak off the habit; and finally my employer told me he must discharge me if I did uct lead a ■ differ, nt life. 1 had been engaged n seven AI drunken brawls, aid more than once I men carried home hi a stale of utler help! ssuess. T lesoived to break o 8 ttie habit et tiiely aud gave uiy erupt, ytr and tuy mother aud sistei a promve to teat et fecl. I olten 1- it toe old appetite strong upi ti un,aod more Uuc once I ca.oe nigh breaking my pledge. Our evening, about three months after my change of habit, 1 sat in the st. re alone, my em ployer having gene hon e, and left me to put things to rights and lock up. VVe iiad had a very hard day’s work, and I was tired and weary, and thought how i glass or tw > of spirits would revive me. I sat down and pondered upon the matter, tuy appetite holding argument with my reason. .Inst then the door opened, and Harry Baton entered. He was one if 103’ eld ‘companions— a hap py, rolicking fell w, with no one to Cure for hot himself; aid 1 could not help li king him for all Ilia wildness. ‘C me!’ he cried, gi\ ing me a slap up on the shoulder, 'Charley Brent has got In me, and we’re going to have a bit of a time at Old Eph’s, Only a little quiet sit-down, you know.’ ‘Charley Brent was one of our boon companions, and bad been absent six months. 'Old Enh,’ was the fat old host of the public inn. 1 wanted to see Char ley very much. They would have a glo i lions time at the tavern, and 1 knew I j should be warmly we corned. Audi knew, ton, that they would drink and carouse; but what of that?—that was all the fun. The temptation was a strong one. ‘Willjou join us?’Harry asked. ‘I must think of it,’ I replied. ‘Baliaw!’ he retorted VVimt’s the use of thinking. I'm going down after Sam j and Jeny, and shall he hack in fifteen i minutes; so do you lock up, and be ready, j aud we’ll slop for you as we come along, j • Alter he had gone I sal down at the! desk to 11 fleet. Ah! there’s tho danger sir—there’s the danger. The momenta man begins to reason with his appetite against the amis of moral duty, that moment the first and most dangerous step is taken. If lie cannot say NOI and slick to it, there is no safety for him. Appetite never wavers—it mutt either! be ruled out or it, must rule. It is res-I son that trembles and falters and turns coward! But I sat there arid argued with 1113'sell, like a fool that i was. I finally leaned hack in my chair, and— ■ resolved that I would go. 1 argued no more! ‘l’lesenl’y [ hoard footsteps at tin, door, aid looked up. There stood liar iy Patten, -niiliug aud joyous. ‘Come, 8.11,* he cried, ‘wo arc all ready. ’ ‘1 put on my hut, and followed him from the store; and having lock’ and the door, we walked away together. When we leached the tavern, ll.il l v conducted me into an iq;>. r room, where I foinul all my o’d eompauions assembled, with Charley Brent at the head of the talde. lie sprang up as I entered, aud grasped me by the hand. * ‘They said you would not come,,’ lie cried, ‘hut 1 told ’em they didn’t know you. They couldn’t make me believe that yon would give the cold shoulder to nn old friend 111 that way. Come boys—now for a bumper!’ ‘ln a short time the wine began to flow freely, and joy reigned supreme. Snug and stoi3', hilarious mirth marked the hours as tiny rp and oil, and bottle after bottle was cracked and emptied. What hap ii.css! I thought, llow ghul all seemed to be that I was there, arid how marked was the attention paid me Filially it was proposed that the eaids should be bin light on, utid that we should plav a quiet game of poker. All ’.verc iigrceil, and wo went at it, si ill drinking and singing we pi.iyod. At first we Con fiueil' the li.-tting at a dollar but we had too much wine in for any such niis era hie Hmi'r, aid we soon cairn and tin bets as h'gh as ire pleased. 1 had some live-and twenty (I liars ol my own, which 1 b st in less than an hour. It. so happened that I had two llujn sand dollars 'belonging to 1113' employer,’ which I was to eairv* eve: to Ila y toll curly in the morning 'or a Mr. Kendall, who was to use it in Boston, vrhitbvr he was going on the following d.>3'- • thought I would take ten dollars of this, land win back what I had lost—there could he no danger; so I broke in upon it. I drank tgain and a^aio —and then i lost fi ft 3- dollars upon a single hand. All hands seemed nek less of couseqneri- I ecs and I followed in the same train. I'o-rew more frci zin! as my losses in creased and our social circle was chanc ed into a hell of gambling demons, each seeming eager to rob his neighbor. The wine still flowed in copious draughts, and I became iIH eager as the rest. At times I lost,.and at times I won; but I I st most. As the clock struck three I staggered up from tho table without a penny! 1 had lost tho whole two thou sand dollars with which my employer had entrusted me! • ‘For a while I was speechless. 1 drank again, and then l turned to Har ry Patten. He find won the money from me. 1 accused him of robbing in He retorted hotly I swore I would j have the money back, or I would have ! his life. He laughed rue to scorn, and ; told me I had uo firmness of purp- sa to I carry out such a threat. I was mad— drouk—crazy—and struck him in the face. He seiz dm- by the arm, hut 1 tiroke from him and grasped a knife, which lay- upon the table, ami stabbed him to the heart! He fell upon the floor withoiii a groan; and when I knew that ue was dead I ru.rln and from the room. 1 rein- inhered IT tie more uutil 1 was in Ihe sands of the c fibers, ad bv them I was c ov> yed to tii • jail, and locked up m a 2a 1 tow. damp durigc-ou. I wa»a a- r i re. a a i a thief! . My cotßer casae .HERE SHALL THE TRESS THE PEOPLE'S EISHTS MAINTAIN, UNAWED BY FEAR AND UNBRtBED BY SAIN. QUITMAN, GEO., AUGUST 16, 1872. !to «<•(' me- -her pray bead bowed in pair and sorrow; and she saw her Id od I stained hoy, she tainted away, and was curried from the cell. My sister came in a few hours afterwards with weeping ; and wailinp. and told me that our moth jor was dead! Her heart was broken! N< xt my employer came; he guz"d upon me in sadne- s*--hc said In? forgave me | the wrong 1 had dune him, and then he i left me. ‘I bowed my head, and pressed my | manacled hands upon my brow. I groan* jid aloud in my agony, and called upon | God to smite me from existence. Just j then 1 heard a door open, and in a nm* : ment nto:v a heavy hand was !a’d upon |my shoulder. With a loud cry I leaped | up and gazed about me. ‘‘ln meicy’s name what’s the matter with yon?’ I lieaid a voice a sic. ‘1 looked and saw—lfarry Patten ! “Alive!’l whispered seizing him by the nj-tn. “Have yon been diearning,Bill? Bless me, how wild you look!’ And as he thus spoke he shrank p way from mo. 'Dreaming? "as it possible? 1 rub bed my eyes and looked about me. I was in the stole—behind the desk —and I had been asleep in my chair, with my head hanging l uckwurds against the wall! 4 'l have been dreaming/ said I, as soon ms I could command my speech. “It must have been a hard one/ Har ry returned, ‘for I found yon groaning as though you were just dying. But cyme/ he added, in a cheerful L no; ‘Sam and Jerry are waiting, and we must be going. A few glasses of wine, and a swng, and you’ll t><* all right/ “No/ said I, I shall not go to-night.’ “Pooh!—nonsense! Come along/ “1 shall not!’ was my stern response. And then I added, ‘1 don’t want to offend you, Harry, hut, in time to come, when ever and wherever 1 ain asked to join you over the wine*cup, my answer will be the same. No power can move me from that purpose, so don’t turny me by trying.’ ‘My friend left me, and I locked on the store and went home, pondering as I went upon the circumstances of the even ing. My dream had been a dreadful one, hut m«t*a bit more teniblo than the reality. How many a youth like m< had been carried down, in fearful fact, just where I had berii taken by a dreamt li had i lusting irnpicssi'iu upon mv mind, ami at once fixed me in the way of Right. When 1 went into my homo that. night, and found my mother and sister wo happy and peaceful, I asked myself—'Shall 1 be the one to bring sorrow and shame upon those loving, faithful hearts? Am! I said within n\ - j self 'NO! And I have found no and Hi cully in saying ‘NO’ ever since, ‘Aud now, sir, I can tell you rcthc thing i I the youths who formed that so* cial circle, but not &I!—not all. There were nine of us who used to meet at that j tavern.* Two of them 1 putsuuded t«»j follow rue into the ark. Os the. rest live! were married, and afterwards died j drunkards. Two went away—r.m off* torccupe creditors—and I never leard from them again. Those live tiled tlrunkaid*s graves—l know that, but do not know all tin* suffeiing one; tlu-y left j behind them. Os the secrets of their homes, and of the anguished, broken hearts of the widowed and the father- j less, I know n f. 1 can guess-—! think I cm guess truly—and so can you.' Aye—end so can we all ! 5 iMi'ctuixg F r M''Tit; ks. —In the Hast number of the Eclectic Medical Journal the editor remarks that, young babies of ten cry from actual thirst. Their natur al supply is intended aS find not as ! drif k, and makes them thirsty without; , quenching the thirst as cool liquid j would. Many a mother is anxious to . know what ails the little sufferer that it ; j sh* uld cry so loudly, and, imagening it j ■ to be suffering from pain, a<Jminist.( is ; sonic u n nr. ecus ary opiate, or palp killer, when all the child needs is a few tea cpooopfifnl of oi od pure, spark ling cold water. Ah the experiment is a very -imple and easy one, let all moifx ns try |it first before having recourse to medi cine. In warm weather particularly, children may be suffering from thirst ; instead of paine, aud a sma.ll quantity ol | cold water may give them imme diate relief. Ilißliiug Into Print* Editors often come in contact will* ; men who get furiously angry at a refusal i to print their grievances, or think him very “blow" if he does not jump at the j : first opportunity to publish some alleged ; dreadful fact about a public man which 1 : he, the complainant, lias just found out. ; Such men should be thankful tint there ; is such an institution as the cool, expe rienced editor, to stand between them and the publ'C, or they would jbe apt to commit some unpleasant to! ies in a life** lime. Let a man who i« terribly angry i about his dinner not being ready on time, sit down and writ" just wrial lie . would like to say a >oat it, and then pot it away for the next ‘layloading. He would be convinced Rat the greatest fools ou earth are lb t>« woo um into The Old Man's Wooing. BY At.ICE CAUET. ' “Come nit upon my Unco, Minnie, And, darling, do not frown. You know mv hair is thin and white, And y»#rs is thick and luown. So. sit upon my knee. Minnie. And loan your bright head low Against, my cheek, for see. Minnie, My hair is white as snow. "And sing me that old song, Minnie, About lln* Summer dead, Its pleasant tune has all die time Been going through my head, Since when you sung it fust, Minnie, In tones so sweet and clear, With hut a little sky between Ourselves aud heaven, my dear. "Mv eyes are growing blind, Minnie, Mv heart is sad with earn, Ami you are like a bright young rose, That 1 must never wear. If you were not so young, Minnie, And I were not so gray, Fd ask it'you would smile sometimeF, And make my darkness day. “Oh! when I'm dead and gone, Minnie, You must wot coine to weep; The lightest sigli you breathed for me, Would wake mi* out of sleep : Would wake me out of death, Minnie— Ah! do not treiMHe so : You k.vow 1 cannot love, M'nuie, My hair is white ns snow!” MY* WIFE’S riANO. The dm! is accomplished My wife hns got si piano, and now farewell tho tranquil mind farewell the content and tin* evening papers, and the big cigars that make ambition, virtue, oh, farewell! ‘Arid, oh 1 ye mortal engines, whose* rude i throats the mortal Jove's dread clamors counterfoil !’ But stop, 1 can’t bid them farewell, for one of them has just arriv ed. It came on a diav. Six men car ried it into the parloi, and it grunted awfully. H wqjgheH a ton, shines like a mirror, and has carved Cupids climb ing np its limbs. And such lungs— whew 1 My wife lias commenced to | practice, and the first time sin* touched the machine, I thought we were in the midst of a thunder storm, and the light ning had struck the crockery chest. The cat, with tail erect, took a bee line for a particular friend upon the back fence,! demolishing i six shilling pane of glass, j The baby awoke aud the little f* Row j tried his beat to beat the instrument, i but he couldn't do it It beat him, A teacher has been introduced into the imuso. lie says he is th«* last <>f Napo leon’s grand army. He wears a huv * moustache, looks ;ft me fiercely, smells of garlic, and goes by tin* name oft burnt. Run away and never come back again by. Hi played un extract d<* opeia the other night.. lie run his fingers through j his hair twice, then grinned, then he cock'd Us eyes op at the ceiling, like u monkey hunting tins aud then came down one of his fingers, and I heard a. delightful H 'Und similar to that produc ed by a cockroach dancing upon the ten or string of a fiddle. Down came anoth er finger, and I was remiinh <1 of’the wind whistling through a knot hole in a hen cool). He touched h’s thumb, and I thought that 1 was in an orchard listen ing to the distant braying of a jackass. Now he ran his fingers along the keys, and I thought, of a hoy rattling a ntick upon a picket fence. All of u sudden he stopped, and I thought something tiad hapj.i in and. Then down came both fisis, and, oh, Lord! such a noise was never heard'before, i thought a hurricane had struck the ho nub, and the walls were caving in. I imagined 1 was in the cel lar, and a ton of coal was falling upon my head. I thought the machine bad hursted, when the infernal noise stopped, and I heard rny wife ejaculate— ‘Exquisite!’ ‘What the deuce is the mallei?' The answer was, ‘Why, dear, that's La Sonnarnbula!’ *])—n Sotiuam* hula!'thought I; and the Count rolled up liis sheet of paper. He called, it mu sic; but for the Id*; of me, I can’t make it look like anything else than a rail fence with a lot of juvenile niggers dim lung over. Before tnat instrument ol tori lire came into the house, I could en ji>v myself, but now every darned woman in the neighborhood must he invited to bear the new piano, and every time the , blasted thing shrieks out, like a locorno- i tive with the bronchitis, I have to praise j its tone, and when the invited guests playing, I have to way, ‘Exquisite!’ *De* lightfii)!’ ‘Heavenly,’ and all such trash, while at the same time, I know just as much about music as a blind codfish. There are more tuning tarnmers than comfort* in our house, and—.l w*'sii the: inventor of the piano was troubled with a perpetual nightmare, and obliged to sleep in one of his instruments all his life. As for myself, I had rather put my head under a tin pan and be drummed to sleep with a pair of smoothing irons than hear ‘La S mriambula/ or any other La thumped out of a piano. Scatter pennies in front of my house, Knd draw together all the wandering minstrels in the city, hand organs, banjo** fiddles, tamborines, ratting bones, and fisi» | horns j let a juvenile monk<y crawl in at ! my window in search ot three cents piec* er* —let me he awakened at midnight by lln* cry of ‘murdei I’—ring thd hills aud have a devil of a time generally—do this aud I will not complain; but Lauioh the pianos- My piano is got to go. I am going to .anneb the infernal machine out of the Vind-w the first daik ingbt, and, rny friends, I advise you .to sleep with cot ton in your ears, or when she gives her dying grunt, you’ll think you’ve fallen out of b'd, or 2- fallen star ban go >«* to ioc-bt jO u i.oase-i *p. For i-so.-. million of ‘Young America,’ 1 will state Unit all tin; pieces of brass, wire and ivo ry keys they are welcome to, but the skeleton 1 want for a refrigerator. Steam Superceded. [From the Newark Advertiser.] Are we on the eve of another great revolution? Net a civil war, lint Such a revolution as resulted from the invention of the locomotive and the electric tele graph. Only thirty years ago Professor | Morse was struggling to get aid of (’on j gross to make a triai of his wonderful I invention. And now another inventor I lias gained permission of the govern ment to make another experiment which may yet become as interesting an event in history as the trial of the famous elec tric wire, between Baltimore and Wash ington. The coming man is Albert Brisbane, for a time a resident of Irving ton, and h's invention is a kind ofpnuo malic tube, by means of which time and spa.-e are to he annihilated. His nnre miiting efforts last winter succeeded in getting from Congress an appropriation of fifteen thousand dollars for the purpose es laying a tube between the capitol at Washington and the Government print— ing-oflico—a distance of half a mile and if the experiment proves satisfactory, another appropriation will bo granted for the. construe:ion of a tube between Washington and Baltimore, the ground of the first telegraphic triumph. The method of tran lit will bo by hollow sphere, propelled through the tube by compressed air, and same idea of the ve locity with which they can be driven may be got from Mr. Brisbane's prophecy that the New York papers will be sent to Chicago and St- Louis in time for the eight o’clock breakfast tables. Thu general establishment of this mode ot transportation would he a sad blow to the railroad system of tiro country. An immediate loss of all freight traffic would ensue to the railroads, and they, with steamboats that plv our rivers, would he cousig icd to the insignificance oi mere pleasure excursion party Convey ances. Although Mr. Brisbane’s invention has j been achieved upon the basis of an ol! theory, he will deserve none the less i credit in cage of success, for the man who | most deserves the world’s gratitude is he 1 by whose effort the world derives practi cal hem lit. Tm inventor's confidence in the result, and the gen pally acknow ledg'd feasibility of a practical applica tion of the pueumalic theory seem to promise success, and is to be hoped that the c.nning experiment may boa satis lactory one. The Lottie oi'Oil. Once upon a time there lived an old gentleman in a large house, lie had j servants and' everything- he wanted, yet. j he was not happy, and when things did j not go its lie wished he was cross. At! last his servants left him. Qaim out of temper, he went to a neighbor with the j story of Ids distresses. 'll scums to me,’said the neighbor,dit Would be well for you to Jo i V yourself a : little •To oil myself?’ ‘Yes; 1 will explain. Some time ago, one ol the doors in my house creaked, and nobody bked to go in ei out by it. One dav 1 oi'ed its hinges, arid it lias been used by everybody since.’ ‘Then you think I am like your creak ing d-.0-i?’ cried the old gentleman. ‘How do yon want me to oil myself?’ 'Thai'.- an easy mailer, ’ said the neigh bor. ‘Go homo and gel a servant, and when he does right praise hm. If, on the contrary, he dr es sum -thing wrung, do not be cross; n.-ften your voice, and words with the oil of love.’ • The old gentleman Weul home, and no hai'sh or unkind words was heard in his bouse afterwards. Every one should have a bottle of tins precious oil, for every one is liable to have a creaking hinge in the chape of a fretful or peevish spirit, or an angry temper, or a sullen, sulky disposition, oi a slrtbb rn, perverse will. Sormßtinn-s these are found in flip children of the family. Lei this oil of iovu be always at hand, and it will he found es gieat j sot vice in giving camfort and peace to l the whole household. Singular Bivore Suit. The On 1 1 in vi He duiTespntiduiit of tli ■ Democrat relates the following story, the cirCums’ai ces of which, while they are exceedingly sensational, can be vouched fur bv persons of undoubted veracity: One of the most remarkable divorce cases on reesrd has been begun, and is to be tried at tiro August term of the Macoupin Comity Circuit Court. The parties have lived together for seven teen years; known to the world as hus band and wife. The reputed husband now files a hill, alledging the so-called marriage to have taken place in Macou pin county in 1555, and praying tor a divorce on she ground that the person to whom ho was then formally married is not a woman, and although previous to and at the lime of Said reputed mar riage he was induced to believe the per son to be a woiuau l! the allegations ot the toll and outside parlies me true, the trial will show the extraordinary case of two men h .ving lived together for tors long period ot time in Hie onar acter of husband and wile; au instance, in other wolds, lu wnten a ualurat enuucti Inis tie.-c aide to pels - ale the JeOUle :..u V r, i3d -la ».- u to go j’s2.oQ nor Annum! NO. 33 through the solemn external forma of marriage, and then tocontinne for many years to deceive neighbors i.ud even in tonate friends as to his. real sex. The complainant a Hodges that his ignorance of the laws of this country, he being a. [ German, and the advice of, supposed I competent parties, prevented him from j filing a bill for release long- ago from' i this ps iido marriage. A.) the parlies l ave accumulated considerab'e proper ! tv, it will be a point of great interest for the eoiut to decide upon its eqnita | division, in case ot a desolation es tbd curious onpur'lueratiip. A Besson on Political Economy. A certain Judge living in tlm.vicinity, of Portland, Oregon, having had a’ load' of wood brought into his yard, a Chinese ivood-Sawyer applied for the job of saw-’ i»g it “lfovv mncliec?” asked the Judge. “flap dollar,” replied John. A bargain was about to he struck,' when an h it Ir American citizen demand ed the job, Blow much!* again asked the Judge.' ‘A dodar and a Half,’ replied the Amer ican citizen. The Judge demurred, saying that tho Chinaman had just offered to do the same for a halt a dollar. ‘However, ’ said he, ‘as i prefer to encourage white American labor, I will pay you a dollar and a half.' The Judge returned gome hoars after*.' wards, and, to his surprise, found tho Chinaman, and not tho white man, at' work upon his wood pile.’, ‘How's this, how's tills!’said his hon or,‘who told you to saw my wood!’ ‘ililican mau,’said John. “How touchcc he pay?’ enquired tho Judge. ‘Hap dpßar,’said John. Tho Judge accepted this lesson in cheap Asiatic labor. Tlii-i is thi} way Tilton talks about bis' sider, Pusan !?. Anthony: "bhe alight ed, dove like, in the midst ol the Cincin nati convention, and found no resting place for her piettv feet in that surging Hood. She came down upon Baltimore,’ like an eagle decendiug from her moun tain ervie to snatch' away without so’ much as one little lamb to flesh her beak upon. At Philadelphia', .however,' it vv:i idtl.. i wise; tl.oieshe and her sis ters found recognition, and upon Pnila-I dolphin she drops her benedict but and over its doings flaps her wings." A Wife ft» Trouble. “Pray, tell me, my dear what is the cause ol those teal - I” “01 such disgrace 1 T have opened’ one of your letters, supposing it lobe adon ssed lo n ysrlf. (Vrtaiirly it look ed more like Mrs. Bun Mr.” “Is that all? What harm c-in their ho, in a wife opening her hasbands letters?’.’. “But tie content.-! Such a disgrace 1’ “What ! has anyone darn! to writo’me a letter unfit for my wile to read!" “(Jh, no. It is couched in tho most chaste language; but tbe disgrace!” The husband eagerly caught, up the letter and c niiinencud, reading tho epis tle that had been tho means of nearly breaking his wife’s heart. Header, you i couldn't guess lire cause in mi age. It I was mi other than a bill from the prin- I ter for nine years subscription. | A most sensible woman. Cuokr.n CucoMßfcKs. —“It does not seem v iy generally known,’’ says an ex-* change, “that the cncnmbet is one of tho m ml useful vegetables wo have, and can j he dressed in a greater variety ol palata ble wars except t e tomato, ft is but ler than squash ad more delicate than I the cgg-pl.iut, prepared in the same ; manner; can he slewed, fried, or stuffed,' and, above all, can he par-boiled, inash | ini up in batter and fried as fl itters,' more pleasant am! easily prepatcrl than | anv other vegetable or fruit When a’ ! eucum'l er becomes'just too old to be us ed raw or (or pickling, il is then at its best, for cooking, and may be used for 1 that ptirp e even until the seeds become hard. A raw cucumber is, fur most per son:;; au indigestible alum union, how ever much they may admire its flavor and odor The following very perspicuous and' ’ laconic manner ol telling a plain story miy he instructive to a slanderer:— “Mother Jasper told mo that she heard’ ! Grate Wood’s wife say that John Hard-’ ! stone’s aunt mentioned to tier that Mrs | Trusty w s present when the widow j Barman said l at Capl. Hear toll'd c -usin' ; inought Ensigh Doolittle’s sister l eliev jed B.at old Mrs. Oxby reck >ued that" -Snot Trifle's better half had tu;d Mrs. j Spaulding that she heard John Kheuner’s | woman say that her mother'Mold her that | Mis. Bagatelle had I wo husbands.” A modern essayist makes tlie follow i iiig points : “The social buzzer is a well dm ssed anil gentlemanly bore, who talks hi- victim into a stale oi nei vous nesa that resembles insanity. His U'U ly torees him to believe lliaL ho is a bril* il.int couveisalionatist, and lie mistakes the silence widen proceeds Iron) disgust lor mat wuieli is evoked !>v ad niratiou.’ A Chicago w mum lias oi-uriid a man in j til. tsne ttrags bnc is “the duly gill' in town who knows where tor teller stays ol nights ” Au l'huois i-duor *««» ms party is.on ; the v- rge ot a piecipice, but calls upoii U t o.iaigtit' a.-.-ad.