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VOL- II - thethomaston herald, POBLISHBD BY , lIA S. (». BEARCE, C kvebt Saturday morsisq. TERMS. M Tf*r I 6U * »nt» INVARIABLY IN ADVA NCR. A ll P‘V n t h*r Ist no name will be put upon the #ub- A fwr k iw unless payment is made in advance ptieo Do®” j| be Blo pped at the expiration of the W W ir un iaM subscription is previous renewed. ’7’ . ~f a subscriber ie to be changed, we in f *. thp old address as well as the new on«, to ~ hs v ® 111 received for a less period than three * °' h L bv Carrier in town without extra charge. Brrv * MirtTi naid to anonymous communications, as for everything entering our columns. I,rul n^!«nK l us e the names of three new snbscHb- A "Jth Vtt.OO, we will send the Hekalb one year irs *'***, n(ark after subscribers name Indicates that the jjot subscription Is out advertising rails. »h#> rates to which we adhere in fo'lowing r j v .^ rt ,|. s i n2 , orwheie advertisementa t h * r " l ''‘ l in orless(Sonparlel type). * 1 for JSXr&XIV"* subsequent i^rtion. ( jakS -mj: »~ m ~ v mTT2~m: ' # t 00 $ 2 501$ 7 00 ; $lO O ' sls 00 1 ftquar* ? .too 10 001 I5 0o 25 00 3no 7 00' 15 001 eo Cm) 80 00 4on 10 00 20 00 1 80 001 40 00 AVi !!n I 10 00 20 00 85 00! 65 00i 80 tffi jj j’nliranV .* "”! 'S 00 25 oO 40 001 70 00 180 00 n|.«|*ved Advertisements will becnarged according ih.RPACf ‘her occupy. ''* I sdvertisemenfs should be marked for a specified . nih'irwise they will be continued and charged for _»(| orrttTf'i ont. Advertisement* inserted at intervals to be charged w new ra«h insertion. ...... ylvertisements to rrn for aloncer period th in three n Vt!u me due and will be collected at the beginning flfrsch quarter Transient advertisements must be paid for in advance, lob work must be paid for on delivery. \ilvertisements discontinued from any cause before expiration of time specified, will be charged only for %■ liras published. Liberal doduetions will be made when cash is paid in idvur.ct*. Professional cards one square $lO 00 a year. Marriage Notices $1.50. Obituaries $1 per square. Notices of a personal or private character, intended tn promote »nv private enterprise or interest, will be , a jretd as other advertisements Advertisers are reque-ted to hand in their favors as t , r ivln the wee 1 ' as possible Iktu oi-e te mx will be strirtly adhere<l to. LEGAL ADVERTISING. Avheietofore, since the war, the followins are the pdett for noticet of Ordinaries, Ac.—to us paid in ad v»vo*: Thirtyo»va’ Notices ••$ 5 00 furty Hays’ Notices ... 6 25 Sales of Lands. Ac pr. sqr of ten Lines 6 00 titty Oats’Notices 7 00 "i Months’ Notices K’ 00 to Day-’ Notices of Sales pr sqr ... 200 siikriot’ Salks—for these Sales, for every fi fa IS nil. Mortgage Sales, per square. $5 00 "Let ssld 1 * a liberal per ccntage for advertising. Ken yon'self unceasingly before the public; and it matters not what husi ess you are engaged in, for, if ioleiligently and industriously pursued, a fortune will be the reau i —Hunt a Merchants’ Magazine. “ After 1 benn to a IvertLe my Ironware freely, kninrii Increased with amazing rapidity. For ten yrM iiait I have spent £89.000 yearlv to keep my wpi>rl«r wares before the public Had 1 been timid in Advertising, 1 never should have po-gessod my fortune of fc).Vi,inon”.—McLeod Melton. Birmingham. '• Advertising like Midas’ touch, turns everythinsr to t B> it, your daring men draw millions to their coffers”—Stuart Clay hit audacity is to love, and boldness to war, the tfllifnl use of printer’s i.ilr, is to success in business.” — Be- cher. “The newspapers made Fisk.”—J. Fisk, Jr. itho.it the aid of advertisements Ii ou and have done tilling tn my -p’ culaiions. I have the most complete 'iihln “printers’ink.” Adve.tising is the ‘‘royal road tn business Barnnm. Professional Cards. ]Y R KENDALL offers his prnfes 1* dnnal services tc the citizen* off hoinaston arid inffmndmj country. May he found dnrinv the day at ' 1 Hardaway’s store, at night at the former resi reef ('hiirles Wilson. jan 14 ly f 1-' REDDING, Attorney at. Law, * * Hkrnesvil e. Pike co, Ga. Will practice in the ’unties comprising the Flint Judicial Circuit, and -e"h«re hy special ontract At business promptly ' tUi Ofhoo in Eider s building, over Chamber’s j^ re ' an *6- y Fl lO MAS BEALL. Attorney nt Law, l Thom us ton, G&. Will practice In the Flint Cir and elsewhere by Rpecial contract. aug27-ly U |* WEAVER. Attorney at Law, a. * Thnmastnn, Ga. Will practice in all the : r-'oV rcu ß> and elsewhere hy special june‘2s-ly PJN I. HALL. Attorney and Counsellor Mr/fn. 'Ydl practice lu the counties composing n ' Ifcuit. in the Supreme Court, of (ieorvla, he Dll, trict Court of the United States for tiie K ( ’ ,n an 'l Southern Districts of (Georgia. “'"boAton. Ga.. dune 18th. 187n-Iv. JOSKPH n. SMITH. Att< >rnov ants hi at Law. Office Corner Whitehall and >nTe Wuma, Ga. Will practice n >h« Su * ~p°u rts °f Coweta and Flint Circuits, the So r „! lrt of and the United States’ Pis -4;, n,,rt - All com .■unications addressed to him at ■'will receive prompt attention. april9-1y A Kherson & McCall a. Artnrnoye A Law, Covington, Georgia. Will attend regu . _ and Practice in the Superior Courts of the K •* of Newton, Butts. Henry, Spalding Pike. w °*i L’pson. Morgan, DeKalb, Gwinnette and Jas declO-ly M. MATHEWS. Attorney at ' a . w *, Tftlbotbqn, Ga., will practice all the counties ! J7 :cg tbe Chattahoochee Circuit and elsewhere by declO-ly Ga Prompt attention given to placed in our hands. declO-ly ) a RRRT P. TRIPPE. Attorney at Law l ' aik r T“ b ! 0a Will practice tn the State Couns V, i vniied States’ District Court at Atlanta and dec 0-ly •I, \ HUNT, Attorney at Law, Barnes^ ***flint *"* practice In all the counties of 'feuitand Supreme Court of tho State. ][Ym BETHUNE, Attorney at Talboton, Ga. Will practice in all tlie Vi,',/' U) e Chattahoochee Circuit, and Upson and . .counties declS-ly will continue the practice V Office at B. D. Hardaway’s Drug declH-ly T- Hannah, is pleased to n t* r actic*- ? w*' 2 ?®. 9 Upson that he will continue u e dicine in its various branches at declß-ly ■ Vnnl \ ALKER. Attorney at Law r aaij’ n »■' practice in Circuit Conrts o n tae United States District Courts. 'I^N'riSTRYr IhV^ , ul: rsitlned permanently L C(, iu nomston, still tenders thier professional O lia, i 4<linin ractlce ot dentistry to the citizens <>4 nl” gcc ont»« « nt »« Teeth inserted on gdd ■lfcljt nur ant - or . r hsbpr, All work warranted and *22 **’ o<lice over WILSON BRYAN k SAW TER. The , *y#toms of liver SIHoisIESIS —in ■!— I I | \ h r 1 - mls- The stonui-h is loss ?,r » f , rheilmftti ™. ness, liowels In r' neral cost!ve nloH peMte and with lax. TheW heavy sensation considerable loMof Jl 8 ,!” and dul! panted with painful sensation of havTnT?lb’ HC 7 m ~ something which ought to have been and. nf n ft " n ' ,one plMningof weakness, debility and times some of the above If IIfIH II I s - Tm " ton } <1 a ‘-tend the dig. L l ! f! | «nd at other times I u * HI 11 them; but "iuij. I, M ■ the Llver ’* eenernlly the Cure the Live^iih*^™"" ° rKan 111 08 1 involved. BR. SIMMONS’ Liver Regulator, »» yJS. f„, ,b, „* li&ml.s. |.r.parali.ins ever uir.i-ei toTh. m,fr ,t. u 8 an .T I""™™" 811 "! Dyspepsia, headache, RECtL.tTQR.S ; !-~7T; S:ri-T- r,“- ■&SSSSJ o the blood, melancholy, or depression of spirits hearU burn, col e, or pains in the bowels, pain in the head feyet and nene, dropsy, boils, pain tn back and limbs asthma, erysipelas, female affections, and bilious dis eases generally. Prepared onlv bv 8 018 J. H. /KIU\ & CO., fhcfnp 1: r V Druggists, Macon, Ga. The following highly respectable persons can fully at test to the virtues of this valuable medicine and to whom we moat, respeetfully refer- ‘ R>v en T v‘J‘ Pre * ,<lent H - W - R- R- Company; nl -o' KH T r, T er 7’ ; oI E K Sharks, Albany Ga., George J Lunsford. F.sq.. Conductor H w K 1* • C Masterson, Esq, Sheriff Bibb cuntv; J A. Butts Inbndge, Ga ; Dykes ft Sparhawk, Editors Floridian] I allahassee; ltev. .T W. Burke. Macon, Ga • Virgil I owers Esq Superintendents. W. It. It] Daniel Bui bird Bullards Station. Macon and Brunswick If R Twiggs county, Ga; Grenville Wood, Wood’s Factory! Macon. Ga; Rev. E F. Easterlinn, P. E Florida Con sriJXi F - Wooiej '- «*•' For sale bv John F Henry, New York, Jno D Park (Cincinnati, Jno. Flemming, New Orleans, and all Drn«r -*,Bt* apl2-ly SIXTY-FIVE FIRST PRIZE MEDALS AWARDED. THE GHEAT fP'jjf Southern Piano 'WfINUFACTO RT. "&TIS/L. ITIsr.A.SE <Sc 00.,, MANtTFAOTPRERS OF GRAND, SQUARE AND UPRIGHT PIANOFORTES, BALTIMORE, MD. r P'SE Instrumonts have been bpfore tbo I Public for nearly Thirty Years, and upon their excellence alone attnined nn nnpurchased pro eminence, which pronounces them unequalled. Their TONE combines great power, sweetness and fine singing quali ty. as well as great purity of Intonation and Sweetness throughout the entire scale. Their TOUCH is pliant and elastic and entirely free from the stiffness found in no many Pianos. X IST WORKMANSIXIP they are unequalled using none hut the very best seas oned material, the large capital employed in our busi ness enabling us to keep continually an immense stock of lumber, Ac.., on hand. All our Square Pianos hnve our New Improved Over strung Scole and the Agraffe Treble. We would call special attention to our late improve ments inGKANI) PIANOS AND SQUARE GRANDS, Patented August, 14, 1866. which bring the Piano nearer perfection than has yet been attained. Every Piano fully warranted 5 Years We have made arrangements for the Sole Wholesale Agency for the most celebrated PARLOR ORGANS AND MELODKONS, which we offer, Wholesale and Retail, at Lowest Factory Pi ices. WM. KNABE & CO. septl7-6m Baltimore, Md. “OUR FATHER’S HOUSE;” or, THE UMWRITTEN WORD. By Daniel Makch. D. D., Author of the popular “ Night Scenes.” r I'UTTS mnstor in thought and lanfftifuro t shows us untold riches and beauties in the Great House, with its Blooming flowers. Sieging bird?. Waving palms. Rolling •cVmds, Beautiful bows Sacred mnuntwirrs, Delightful rivers, Mighty oceans. Thunder ing voices. Blazing heavens and vast universe with countless? beings in millions of worlds, and reads to us in each the Unwritten World, Rose-tinted paper, or nate engravings and superb bindi"g “Rich and varied in thought.” ‘'Chaste.” “Easy and graceful in stvle.” “Correct, pure and elevating in its tendency.” “Beau tiful and good.” “A household treasure.” Commenda tions like the above from College Presidents and Pro fessor, ministers of all denominations, and the religious and secular press all over the country. Its freshness, purity of language, with clear, open type, fine -deel en gravings, substantial binding, and low price, make it. the book tor the masses. Agents are selling from 50 to 150 per week. We want Clergymen, School Teachers, smart young men and ladies to introduce the work for uain every township, and we will pay liberally. No intelligent manor woman need be without a paying business, bead for circular,full description, and terms. Address ZIEGLER & MoCURDY, 16S. Sixth stn et. Philadelphia Pa. 189 Race street, Cincinnati, Ohio, 69 Monroe street, Chicago, 111.. 503 N. Sixth street, St Louis, Mo. •eplo-m or, 10*2 Main street, Springfield, Mass. “ THE MONROE ADVERTISER.” FIFTEEN. A First-Class Democratic Newspaper! r |MIFj Oamnniffn which will soon be innu 1 curated, and whish.wilt culminate in the election of CoDgiessional and Legislative Representatives tn November, promises to be one of the most important and interesting epochs in the history of the State. In view of this fact, it is the duty of every person t.« sub scribe for some available newspaper. To the people of this section, Thk Monkob Advektiskh presents superior claims. , , _ No pains will be spared to render the The Advertiser a reliable and efficient newspaper, and each issue will embrace a fair epitome ol the week’s news, both foreign and domestic. , ... .... Ab heretofore, the local news of thiß and the anjoining <#'unties will be made a specialty. The Advertiser is published in a very populous and wealthy section, and Is one of the most available ADVERTISING MEDIUMS In Middle Georgia. To the merchants of Macon and Atlanta, it offers superior inducements for reaching < large, intelligent and prosperous class of people. I erms ..<lv.rd.iOg rSOX . septl 7-tf Box 79, Forsytli, Ga. TWO GOOD BOOKS. Should b 6 Had in every Family. Devotional and Practical Poiveiott F/vMIT Y BIBLE containing a copious index, fU LA S WB of BOTINKSS Jly Tbeopbilus Parsons, LL D inrs rt e , Urn. (« «» Os every tr^eo, N.«oL Pub llb M n *lOHN e A ' P COCHRAN has taken the Agency for with these invaluable books immediately. THOM ASTON, G A., 'SATURDAY MORNING, MARCH 11, 1871. Poetry. • * the alphabet. « A is an Ancel ofblnehing eighteen, B is the Ball where the Angel was aeon C is the Chaperone who cheated at card.-,, ft l S the with Prank of the ttaards • E is the Kye which those soft oover, i Is the Fan it peeped wickedly over, G is the Glove of superlative kid, H is the Hand which it sptefully hid ; I is the Ice which the fair one demanded, J is the Juvenile who hurried to hand it; K is the Kerchief, a rare work of art, Lis the-Lace which composed the chief part; M is the old Mal l who watched the girls dance. N is the Nose she turned up at each glance ; 0 is the UJgp, juat then in its priroo, P is the Partner who wouldn't keep time Q is a Quadrille put instead of the Lancers. II i* the Remonstrance * mode by the dancers; •S is the Supper, where nil went in pairs, T U the Twaddle they talked on the stairs; U the. Incl *, who “Thought we'd be golnQ," V is th e Voice which the niece repli and "No" in ; W is the Waiter wh" sat up till eight A is his exit, not perfect 'y straight; Y is tho Yawning fit caused hy the bail, Z stands for Zero, or nothing at ali y\l ISCELLANEOUS. Rules lor Playing Onto it Organ Into a Meeting. BY P. BENSON, PR. When the preacher cttma in and neels down in the pnolpit. pool out all the stop* pers. That’s wot the stoppers is for. When a him is gave out to be pung, play over the whnal to>>n before singin, but be sure to play it so they can’t tell whether its that toon or some other toon. It will arnooze the people to guess. When you play the intevloods, sumtimes pull all the stoppers out, and sumtimes pull .them all iti. The stoppers is made to pull out and in. Play the interloods about twice as long as the toon. The interloods is the best part of the mousic, and should be the longest. Play from the interloods into the toon without letting them know when the tune begins. This will teach them to mind thare bizness. Always play the interloods faster or slower than the toon. This will keep ic from bein the same time as the toon. If the preafchor gives out 5 virces play 4. Too many viroes is teejus. Doorin tho sermon go out of the church, and com back in time for the next toon. This will show you doan’t mean to be hard on the preacher by havin tew menuy list enin to him at wunst Learn a Trade. The Cleveland Ledger gives the following sound advice; No fact is truer than that the man who is posessed of a good trade, well learned and who uses his resources to their best advantage, in master of his destiny. The demand for skillful workers is well-nigh inexhaustible, the field of employment nearly illimitable, and the supply almost continually inadequate, at least in this coun try. And the growth of the demand is more rapidly than that of the supply in most of the industrial pursuits. In this broad land of ours, with its vast resources and its vigorous strides in devel opment, no man who workp at any useful employment need bo idle; no man need feel dependent upon the favor or the indulgence, or the charity of any other mao. Possessed of a trade, the young man in America has a capital for wfiich he can find ample and readv investment at all times, which will pay him the highest interest, and which will grow in value and availability with each day of its use. We know, therefore, no better or more profitable sermon to preach to the youth of the land than one that has been selected for the text : Learn a trade, and learn it well. It is a talisman of powmr and independence, upon which you may always rely, and which will never fail you. Protect your Eyesight. Milton’s blindness was tho result of over work and dyspepsia. One of the most emi nent American divines, having,for some time been compelled to forego the pleasure of reading, spent thousands of dollars in value, and lost years of time in consequence of getting up several hours before sunrise, and studying by artificial light. His eyes never got well. Multitudes of men and women have made their eves weak lor life by the too free use of the evesight, reading small prinr, and doing fine sewing. In view of thepe things, it to obeerve the following rules in the use of the eyes : Avoid all sudden changes between light and darkness. Never read by twilight, or moonlight, or on a very stormy day. Never sleeD so that on waking the eyes 6hall open on the light of a window. Do not use the eyesight bv light so scant that it requires an effort to discriminate. Never read or sew directly in front of the light or window or door. It is best to have the light fall from above obliquely over the left shoulder. Too much light creates a glaro. and pains aod confuses the 6ight. The moment you are sensible of an effort to distinguish, that moment cease, and talk, walk or ride. As the sky is blue and earth green, it would seem that the oeiling should be of a blue tinge, the carpet gre?n, and the walls of some mellow tint. The moment you are instinctively prompt ed to rub the eyes, that moment cease using them. . t , , If the eyelids are glued together on wak ing up, do not .forcibly open them, but apply the saliva with the finger—it is the speediest diiuthn in the world—and then wash your hands and face in warm water. Winding WaUltes. Unsuitable keys injure watches more than is supposed. If thay slip off-which is not uncommon-the whole wheel-work receives a iar from the recoil, which gives the gear ing a shock which has a tendency to weaken the whale, and perhaps prepare the most delicate part* for premature breakage. A bra«B k' Tis beet. It should be well S.ted. A soft steel pipe is * be be3t ’ end a hard steel.ons worst of all. Lord Brougham. Lord Brongham, however, was not sole ly, or principally, celebrated as a lawyer. 11* has been styled as “probably the hug est human phenomenon of our century,” be cause he is alleged to b »ve united in hiin selt the energv and varied* powers of a hundred different men; because be wrote on et ucation, history, bi graphy, interna tionai, constitutional, and common law, science, natural theology, every branch of politics, the oratory of Greece and Korm*. ami even composed a romance ; because be was at onoe a man of science, a mathema tician, a biographer, a historian, a forcible and constant public speaker, a popular lead er, a statesman, a lawyer.aod a judge ; and jec.’Urto, above ail, in the exercise of the venous qualities which such pursuits re quired, he maintained many distinct per* aonaiities, and because the identity of the individual playing oo many diverse parts scarcely ever appeared. Notwithstanding political economy and experience have alike shown that worldly grentnoss and worldly prosperity are best secured-by an assiduous devotion to a sin gle special pursuit, and that absolute pers lection in any one thing can only in this •way be arrived at, yet the world, regarding the very limited comprehensiveness of the human mind, has always,looked with awe upou one who has attempted to transcend these intellectual limits and become a uni versal genius. This endeavor has never met with more than partial success. Os Lord Brougham’s multiform productions, it is not too much, perhaps, to say, that his novel is now almost unknown; that his histories are unread ; that his biographies, owing to their inexactness and personal hias, are consulted only hy the curious in search of racy reading ; that his theological arguments fail to convince the searcher af ter truth ; that his scientific essays are a marvel only to the uninitiated ; that, hut few of the studied periods of his once fam ous orations now srart the blood or fire the ambition of (he reader; that his treatiseson education, politics, oratory, and law have had their day ; in short, that no one of his literary works will ever become a classic : while even his judicial decisions are regard ed as only doubtful authorities. During his long public "life, covering more than half a century, no man has been so extravagantly praised, so thoroughly despised, so basely defamed, so unceasingly ridiculed ; no one has been more severely criticised ; no one has had his faults so often and so unspar ingly exposed ; and yet no public man has, apparently, been actuated by nobler mo tives or accomplished more general good than Lord B:ougham. Too much of his youth had been engross ed in the alluring pursuit of “general knowledge,” to the neglect, as he himself intimates, of wholesome professional drudg ery. He could not submit to a vigorous application to those tiresome technicalities of the law, an acquaintance with which he affected to despise so much in other lawyers. It would seem that he failed in that other half of an advocate, which comprises a thorough preparation of his cases, a careful study of the facts, a critical survey and ar rangement of the authorities, and a dexter ous presentation of such as*are favorable; a skillful examination in chief, and a pene trating and judicious cross-examination. Such is the foundation upon which alone can he reared the elegant superstructure of brilliant oratory and dazzling rhetoric. These arduous but essential preliminaries afford few opportunities for display, and go for little with the outer world; without a close attention to them, however, no endur ing fame as a lawyer can be secured. Al though Lord Brougham had a ready memo ry, unusual resources of knowledge from which to draw ; although he was indomita blv persevering and indefatigably industri ous, and had, in addition, a powerful con stitution. enabling him to undergo untold labor, yet he had no moderation. He was impetuous and impatient of detail. He jumped at inferences; and, seizing and dwelling upon a prominent argument, one apparently sufficient to oover the whole case, he would exhaust that to the neglect of other equally, if not more, important (eatures of hb subject. There was thus a lack of finish, a want of thoroughness, an incompleteness about all that he did. He had an uncommon amount ot energy and industry but he was destitute of judgment; a most needful requisite in a lawyer, hav ing in view, not only his own personal ben efit and reputation, but also the interests of his clients. Asa politician, h° was 1 ed to the “bellua anceps,” the elephant in battle, often more formidable to his friends than to his foes. His deficiency in tact, good judgment, and sound sense, character ized ail his actions, while his inaccuracy materially impairs the value of his writ ings. It must be borne in mind that he was never heart and soul a lawyer; that law was little else than the thread upon which he hung his varinus fancies and his dearer pursuits. A great man he assuredly was; a great philanthropist, and earnest ref inn er of abuses, but not by any means worthy to be classed with the greatest lawyers of the age. Asa speaker, he rather commanded than persuaded his audience; he seemed rather to be giving orders, than to be striving to convince; and when he descended to an - appeal at all, it was the intellect, not the feelings, which he addressed. The enthu siasm which he felt, and which he plainly showed that he felt in any subject which he advocated, inspired his hearers. His manner was fierce, and his declamation overwhelming. He was a master of irony and invective. Alth iugb he was a’capital mimic, and could modulate his rough voice to a sfft and pleasant strain, yet hi« will long be remembered. He certainly did not, in his younger years, have the mor tification of talking, iike Burke, to sleeping or drowsy benches; for, had Ire failed to command the attention of his audience from the dullness of his subject, or the plainness of his manners, he would Have started them from :he deepest slumbers by his stentorian tones. Hash. To mjike boarding-house hash, take a little ov everything, a good deal 07 notching, and throw in a enunk of sumthing ; jam to a mux, cook over a bold fire, season with haii-p’us, and serve up on tbo jump. Afwi Item*. New Y trk diw enjoys buff ilo meat at the low price of eighteen cents per pouud. A modest B sfon rnis« refuses coffee alto gether since it has bt su made from the male berry. A young man in Wapello, Wig , writej with his mouth. His budy is paralyzed be low tho chio. The downfall of Pa r is is suggesting a text to one-third of the preachers in Christen dom. A man has been sent to prison for nine months, in Vermont, for sending threaten ing letters. An English manufacturer ha* Intely fil ed a war order to make a million quinine pills in a fortnight. Rutland (Vt..) ladies having frequently bpen insulted on the streets of late, provid ed themselves w : th cayenne pepper, and some of the corner loafers are troubled with sore eyes. Anew garter is heralded. It is a heavy, round elastic chain, much the style of the heavy gold chains upon which lockets are worn, and has a hock and eve to it. The hook is pardonable, buttheeyo is reprehen sible. A candidate for the position of school tpacher in Alabama recently replied to n question by # one of the examiners, “l)o*you think the world is round or fiat?” by say ing. “Well, some people think one way and flomc another ; and I’ll teach round or fiat, just as the parents please.” A near-sighted Indianapolitan, went to see his girl, and fell on his knees to pro pose in due form. A No. 10 boot awaken ed him to consciousness that it was the old man—who had his wife’s apron on, and was peeling potatoes—before whom ne was kneeling. Ho doesn’t go there any more. The London Comopolitan proposes -the following marriage vow for its lady readers, when occasion requires : “1 will continue to love ray husband co long as he is lovable, honor him so long as he remains honorable, and obey him so long as his commands are just and reasonable.” A Cincinnati Judge decides that a boy, marrying under the age of eighteen years, without the consent of his parents or guard ian, may repudiate suoh marriage and mar ry again if he does not. recognize his first wife as such after he is eighteen. A fiue opening for ecoundrelism. A San Francisco undertaker claims to have discovered anew method of preserving the dead human body. By this process he petrified one in July 18(18, and it exhibits on signs of decay. When struck it gives out a “rin-fing, metallic sound.” The cojor of the flesh is not changed. A Dakota paper says there is a French girl of great beauty. living about forty-five miles up the Sioux river from that place, who possesses remarkable agility, being able to put her hand on the back of a horse and jump over him without touching a hair. She is famous for riding wild colts bareback, and never was thrown. A pine tree was recently cut in Hebron township, Potter county Pa., which showed the marks of a sharp instrument at the hea'rt. On counting the concentric eircles it was found to have been thirty-nine years old when the cutting was done, and when finally cut down two hundred and seventy six years old. Capt. Travers, of Rochester, has made a wager of $25 that he will, at the distance of thirty six feet, with a pistol, shoot from the top of a wine bottle a cork on which is placed a bullet, dropping the bullet into the bottle and not breaking the bottle. He has twelve shots, and engages to perforin the feat four times. Some Cincinnati ladies thought to in crease their beauty when wearing low necked d refuse , by painting blue veins on the exposed skin, but were disgusted at the remark of a physician, who lookrd at them too closely, that they had’nt got those veins painted within four inches of where they should be naturally. Bridgeport has anew excitement. A tomostone in the city cemetery, covering the remains of a boy who was thr wn down stairs by a woman and killed, several years ago, is now constantly overcast by a shadow, supposed to be that of this woman. It is 8 iid that hundreds have witnessed the phe nomenon and vouch for its truth. The Chinese custom of substitution in .death penalties, it is said, was employed in the punishment of the Tien-tsin assassins. The Chinese arrested a few of the meaner criminals, carefully allowed all the rest to escape, and filled up the list of victims with substitutes, who were quite ready to anff-r decapitation in consideration of about s7si) apiece paid to their families. A case of great hardship recently came before a Chicago court A widow, anxious to renew matrimonial obligations, convened $lB 0 worth of estate to a handsome druggist on condition that he should marry her. lie took the prioe of his heart and hand and has since refused to deliver up the articles bargained for or to reconvey the property. The widow wants her land or a husband, and has brought suit for pos session of tbo one or to the other. The following unique wedding invitation appears, by authority of the parties inter ested, in the Coatesvil.e Union: “l'o be married, if Divinely permitted, J seph Brinton and Anna M II >w!aod, at the -f-si ieneeof the former, near Ercildoun, Chester county, Pennsylvania. “A public meeting being appointed for the purp >se on sixth day, 17th instant, at 2jo’clcck in the afternoon, s >ber neighbors and acquaintances who may incline to'-at tend are cjrdially iuvited so to do.” Worcester, has a “milk factory.” It consists of a room fitted up w:tb a tank or can holding i.BO gallons, into which good milk is put; but every time it is filled furry gallons of a mixture of burned molasse.-, chalk, salt, and water is put in, and the wfcnde is mixed together and sol i as genuine country milk. The business b»8 been thus conducted for some titae, all tho customers receiving their share of the “milk,” except a few furnished small cans to be filled with the milk of oue oj\v, fdr children. FttiutlnK, Apoplciy. When a man is asleep, his pulse beats and his lungs play, bur he is without sense, and you cun easily wake him i p. If a person "faints,” he, to, if without sense but he has uo Ipusc and docs not breaths. Apoplexy m between tho two ; the heart beats, the lungs play as in Kleep, nml there is no sense, as in a fainting fit, but you can’t shake the man back to iite. In sleep, the face is natural. In a fainting fit, it has the pailor of death. In apoplexy, it is swollen, turgid and fairly livid. If a m«t» is lot trim alone, nature will wake him up as soon as he has got sleep enough. When a faints, nil that is needed is to lay him down flat on the fl >or and he will "come to” in double quick time. He fainted because the heart trissed a beat, failed for an instant, failed for only once to send the proper amount of blood to the brain. If you place the patient in a hori zontal position, lay him on his back, it does uot require much f >roo of the heart to send tho blood on a fever to the head ; but if you set a man up, the blood has to be shot upward to the head, and this requires much more force; yet in nine canes out of ten if a per.son faints and fulls to the floor the first thing done is to run to him and set him up, or place him on a chair. In apoplexy, as there is too much blood in the head, every one can see that the bast position is to sot a man up, and the blood naturally tends downward, as much so as water will come out of a bottle when turned upside down, if the o< rk is out. If, then, n man is merely asleep, let him alone for the lace is natural. If a man has fainted, lay him flat on his back, for his face is deadly pale. If a man is apoplectic, set him in a chair, because the face is turgid, swollen, livid, with its excess of blood. A Singular Modr of* Telling -Che Hour. An exchange pives the following singular method of telling the time of day or night, which we copy tor the benefit of those who wish to try the experiment; "Seat yourself at a table. Attach a piece of metal (say a shilling) to a thread. Hav ing placed your elbow on the table, hold the thread between the thumb and fore finger, and allow 7 the shilling to hang in tho centre of a glass tumbler. The pulse will immediately eause the shilling to vibrate like a pendulum and the vibrations will increase until the shilling strikes the side of the glass ; and supposing the time of the experiment to be at tho hour of seven or half past ceven, the pendulum will strike the glass seven times, and then lose its momentum and return to the center ; if you hold the thread a sufficient length of time, the effect will be repeated; but not until a sufficient length of time has elapsed to con vince you that the experiment is complete. We need not add that the thread must be held with a steady hand, otherwise the vibrating motion would be counteracted. At whatever hour of the day or night the experiment is made, the coincidence will be the same. Women Should Head Newspaper*. It is a great mistake in female education to keep a young la ly’s time and attention devoted only to the fashionable literature of the day. If you would qualify her for con versation, you must give her something to talk about, give her education in the actual world and its transpiring events. Urge her to read the newspapers, and become famil iar with the present character and improve ments of oi r age. History is of some im portance, but the past world is dead ; we have nothing to do with it. Odt thoughts and our concerns should be for the present world ; to know what it is and improve its condition. Let her have an intelligent opinion, and be able to sustain conversation according to the mental, moral and reli gious improvement of our times. Fleeting Character of Military Glory. "Os the ten thousand battles that hive been fought; of all rtie fields fertilized with carnage; of the banners that have been bathed in blood ; of the warriors who had hoped to have arisen from a field of con quest to a glory as bright and as durable as the stars; how few that continue long to interest mankind ! The victory of to-day is reversed by the defeat of to-morrow ; the star of military glory, rising like a meteor, like a meteor has fallen ; disgrace and dis aster hang on the heels of conquest and renown ; victor and presently pass away to oblivion, and the world rolls on in its course, with the loss onlv of so many lives and so much treasure.— Webster. “Posterity’’ At a Discount. During the late rebellion, General Jubal A. Early,-commanding the First Army Corps of A N. V. (C. S. A.), while in the valley of Virginia, one day heard an old “vet” growling at a fearful rate about the hardships he had to encounter, short rations, etc., etc., and took occasion to pitch into him for his want of manliness, etc., and in the course of his remarks said: "Remember, you are not fighting for yourself, but for posterity.” "Is that so?” demandod the soldier, in tones of astonishment. "Os course it is,” said old .lube. "Well, by thunder; if I bed knowed that I woul I never enlisted. Posterity never did nothing for me. and she can fight her owu battles.” “Old Jubd” .wa* floored. -■ rt-.au'-ju amnin t- mu Wive* of all Nations. A French woman will love her husband if he is either witty or chivalrous; a Ger man woman if he is constant and faithful ; a Dutch woman if be does not disturb her ease and comfort too much ; a Spanish wo man if he wreaks vengeance on those who incur his displeasure ; an Italian woman if he is dreamy and poetical; a Danish woman if he thinks that her native country is the brightest and happiest on earth ; a Russian woman if he despises all westerners as mis erable barbarians; an English woman if he succeeds in ingratiating himself with the eourt and aristocracy ; an American woman if he has plenty of m mev, mules or land. Dress. A contributor to the New York Citizen asserts that Mile. Airoee, in "La Perichole,” wears a dress the neck of which begins at ti e termination cf tk? spinal cord. NO. 0.