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THE TIMES. -t* ! ^aSSK&XSSK.'' Foblilhod eery Saturday Morning. Christian & Triplett, Proprietors. TERMS: > OISTES -5JTE1A31 . $2,00. e MONTHS . 1,00- o » .. - .eo. Advance. Tax paper will be stopped la all instances at the expiration of the time p*M for, unless sub scriptions are previously renewed. Afiv^raraGEArasr The follow lag are the rates agreed upon by the proprietors of the Emierprite aad 1 ixcs and will be ttrietig adhered toby both papers: w~i wrrv: i ara»: 3 MTo~a7nni J 1$100$1 50 *200 8250 #4 50*000 $905 81200 2 2 00 3 00 4 00 600 »CO 11 00 1700 22 00 3 300 450 675 6 7»,12 00 16 00 2100 3000 4 4 00 575 725 8 50 14 50 IS752500 MOO Reol 11 25 15 00 1*50 21 75 33 75 40 00 55 50 SIC \col 15 2520 50 2550 30 25 40 7554 50 75 5010900 1 coi lS00.2475 31 5037 505850.67 75 'J3 (»0 132 00 A square hi Ope inch w ild Nonpareil. No 20 cents per Uoe, for each Insertion. Persons sending advertisement* will please designate the department of the paper in which they wish tliem Inserted—whether hi the ‘Tegu lar, “special* or “local'* column; also the length ot the time they wish them published and the apace they want them to occupy. Announcing names of candidates for office $5,00 Iuvariably In advance. Marriages and Obituary Notices fc) linen will be published free; but for all ovei t exccoiilng be published free; but for all over 10 lines, regular advertising rates will bo charged. WHEN BILLS ARE DUE. AU advertisements in this paper are due at any time alter tho first insertion of the same, and will be collected at the pleasure of the propri- VERTISI.S'J. Slieriir* sales, tier levy 8 “ Mortgage Ki Fa sales |»er square,.-... Cilalions lor letters of Administration, " " •* Ouardianshlp—.— Application for Dismission from Admin- I utration - - t Application for Dismission from Guardi- | Application for leave to sell Land...... Hales of Land, per square Hales of Pcrislmble property, i«r square..... Notices to Debtors and Creditors - Foreclosure ol Mortgage. t»er square K.trsy Notices. 30 «Uy*. application for llomcsti Administrator*, Ext .ill sales of land by Ai or Guardians, are required by 1: the first Tuesday In tho toon hours of ten o’clock li in tire afternoon, at tl the property is situ ah must be given in » pu vious to the day of sale. 8ale of Personal Property :-Noticcs . the sale of | ersonal projwrty must lw giveu i least ten days previous to the <lay of sale. Estate Debtors and Creditor*Noth to Debtots and < Yedltors of an estate must t published (brty days. Court of Ordinary Leave to Sell YOL. 1. THOMASVILLE, GA., SATURDAY, MAY 17,1873. NO. 9. No- published joVifl be mailt Ordinary lor leave to sell Lands, Halted once a week for four weeks. Administrators and GuardianshipCi tation* for Letter* of Administration t published thirty days ; lor Dismission fr< ministration, monthly for thioeiuonths- mlssbni from Guardianship, 40 days. Foreclosure of Mortgage:—Rules for Fureek»ure ot Mortgage must * “ * monthly for four worn h« Establishing talillshing Lost Ft full term of three For compelling titles from I bond lias l*een given by the <J< iq>ace of three months. Application for Homestead n Publications will always he c lug to these, tho legal rvqulKiu ci wise ordered. fcjr County Officer’* Illaiiks ptr quire of 24 slieeti >1 thrulsbeU at $1.50 OUR Department. Having supplied jnvsclvcs with new lacleJolPresses Latest and Most Improved Patterns Wc arc now prepared to exc noon mtvivk A HD XT AS LOTT THK KH ns can be had iu (lie State, JOB WORK OF ALL KINDS, UUI Heads, Circurlars, Invitation Cards, Visiting Cards, Legal Blanks, and every other description of Job Work. isfaction to all who favor ns with their patronage. Patronize your Homo Enter prises, and dont Bend off for Job Work, bring it to the Times Job 0rnc& Professional <£arbs. CHAS. P. HANSELL, Attorney at Law, Thomasville, : - G“- Office up stairs In McIntyre’s bulMing, Jack- son Street. mat 2l-ly. »» H. W. UoFKixft. T. N. Hopkins. gl oo HOPKINS & HOPKINS, °° pr Attorneya at Ijaw, t ), Jackson Street, se Thomasville, : : Georgia. j„ Special attention civen to collect Ion. orclaim, an against the U. .V. Government. Obtaining Land .... warrants, bounty claims, Pensions, Sc. mar 21-ly fa JOSEPH P. SMITH. “ Attorney at Law, dr Comer Dread awl Jackson Streets, *"° W THOMASVXWLE, OA- n.« 21-1,1 ov W. D. MITCHELL. R.G. MITCHELL. ev MITCHELL & MITCHELL, tr Attorneys at Law. pe TIIOTIASVII.I.E, . OA. to mar 21-1, *•! w of •1. R. Alexander, i a Attorney at Law, THOMASVH.LE, GKA- f a mar 21-ly , )r W. M. HAMMOND. E, T. DAVIS. 11 HAMMOND & DAVIS, n n ATTORNEYS A.T LAW. in -AND- “ d COLLECTORS OF CLAIMS, THOMASVILLE, S. W. GEORGIA. c . mar 21..,.- •lames L. Seward, Attorney at Law, 1 THOMASVILLE, - - GA. „ mar 21-ly y K. T. MacLEAN, \ Attorney f c —AND— 1 Counselor at, I ,aw, * THOMASVILLE, GA. ■ OFFICE—Up Stairs Over Dreyer k. IsaacV. J mar 21-1,. c DR. D. S. BRASDOS ? THOMASVILLE GA. i * 0 C Office—Back room Evans’ Building, i mar 21-ly A. P. TAYLOR, M. I)., Tfieixiasvitle, : : Ga. [ o a OFFICE—Front room over Stark’s c Confectionary. t mar 2.-., . . DR. JNO. H. COYLE, RESIBEHT BE&TIST, ; THOMASVILLE, OA. i * Office, Comer Jackson am! Droad Sts, mar 2t- , y. sX-sr-A.iT3srA.ia:. J A. P. ABARtS, Attorney at Isaw. Savannah, Ga. Bay Street, over '’Morning News” 8 Office. Keft-rt to Hon. A. T Afa.-Int.vro, Jmlfo A. II. I!an*<-I!and Cant. John Triplett. II. J. ROYAL, SURGEOK DENTIST, ^ 12!) 1-2 Congress Street, Opposite Fulaski House. Savannah, . - Ga* inar 21-ly. R. E. LESTER, Attorney at Law, SANANNAU, GA. mar 21-ly. Henry B. Tompkins, Atteeney at Law, BAY STREET, SAVANNAH; GA, Practice in United Suites Chart* and all State Courts. liefer to Capt. Win, M. Hammond, Col. A, P. t3, Wright. mar 21-ly. 0. A. IIOWELL, B. A. DENMARK. u Howell & Denmark, attomcBS at Caw, *5 SAVANNAH, G-JX. 1—ri Prompt attention given to all business en trusted to their care. Refer by permission, to Messrs. Groover, • Stul.bs. & Co., ami It. B. Reppanl. Savannah, IS Hon. A. II. Hanscll, J. L Seward and Capt. John Triplett, 1 Lomasville, Ca. iy mar 21-ly LETTER FROM ATLANTA. Atlanta, Ga., May 0th, 1873. die receipt of the Times this morn- reminded ine of my promise to itching for Spring rarm days—but so vain. Winter “lin-„ i cool, chilly, wintry a not funny at all I see some of your low-country pa- 1 bill” in these parts, it s complete a failure as sonic Atlanta still builds. Notwithstaud- :t that our economical city nt continues. Vacant lots are seil- at almost fabulous prices, and A few lots belonging to the city, lo- Notwithstanding tho unpropllious, lie nics, celebrations, n calculating on the iply mention this to show Arm hold the temporal >n this people. When linen breeches on can on a raw, chilly day by n” the eloquence ol tem- iturers, I reckon you might Yesterday was the anniversary of lie tiro department, and a big day ritli the iircmcn. Six companies rcre in the procession—four of them aviog splendid steam engines. With heir stylish uniforms, Hying banners, nd shining, flower-bedecked ma- hines, drawn by magnificent horses, liey presented a view worth bcliohL ag. Atlanta boasts one of the most borough and completely equipped re departments in the South. Last light they had an opportunity ot test- : their working capacity, a block of oden buildings ou Peachtree street The rearguard ot Georgia Radical- material which For Everybody to Read. “A Kiugston youth has frozen his nose seven times this winter pacing in front of his sweetheart’s home, waiting for the “other fellow to leave.” We know a fellow that paced away from his ' sweetheart’s house, a few ;hts since, in anything but a freez ing stale. He says, “.the remarkable precision with which tho old lady bal ances a skillet of scalding water,would credit to the Japs.*’ A wife of nearly ten years, having given her servant a holiday, w*as at tending to culinary matteis herself, and hearing her husband comiug in ihe kitchen, thought she would sur prise him as soon as ho entered the door, by throwing her hand over his eyes aud imprinting a kiss on his brow as in the days of the honeymoon.— The husband returned the salute with interest, and asked, as he disengaged her hands, “Mary darling,' -where is your mistress ?” The wife discharged “Maty, darling ” the next day, and lias adopted a new plan of “surprising” her husband.” He says that he knew it was Jane all the time, and only wanted to see what she would do. lie found out.— He now tells his friends that ho got frightened at something, and scratched his face running through the bushes. The Weldon News says: “Mr. J. T. Brinkley tells of a remarkable freak of nature in the case of a negro Williamstou, N. C., who has a horn growing out of his forehead just be tween the eyes. It grows very rapidly and, until recently, he has kept it cut off, but lie is growing it now with the of presenting himself to Barnum. The Doctors have examined it, but :annot account for it in any way.” It we had that fellow and an honest politician caged, we would realize a haudsome sum by exhibiting them. Mr. Henry Watterson, editor of the Louisville Courier-Journal, is tc sail, May 14lh, for a six months’ Eu ropean tour.” We propose to go on a tour to the Ochloekonce, during the latter part of May*, and spend about six hours pulling up and down the banks of that classic stream, with a bucket of bait in ouc baud aud a Ashing rod in the oth er. We hope that Wattersou will not be envious. A. D. SMITH. W. C. BEERS - SMITH & BEEKS, Attorneys at I.aw, Corner Bay and Ball Streets, Savannah, . • Ca. lM* to A. H. Audi, Mitchell nd WkML • ft* r i tl-tj. And then to make a clcau sweep of ic miserable party, a thorough demo* rat has bought the press on which cruggs’ Whig was printed, and car ed it to the monntaius lor the future lissciuination of unadulterated Dem- So, here’s a long, ylud fare well to radicalism iu the Empire State of the South. The newspaper business in Atlanta now up to aud in keeping with the tint manifested in other branches ol business. The Herald, started last Summer, is a complete success—one of the livest newspapers iu the South. My good friends of the Constitution have now learned what Atlanta de mands in the way of newspapers, and that most excellent paper is as g<*od as can be found in Dixie. The Sun, also, has made a loug leap forward, aud is now a good live paper. I am proud of our city press. Governor Smith takes his meal: coolly as if nobody had said he was a “brute,” for allowing the law to take its course in the case of Miss Ebor* hari, who was hung for murder in Webster county last Friday. The idea of hanging a woman is terrible to contemplate, and while, in the ab stract, I abhor it, I must say, that upon thoroughly understanding this case, the action of Governor Smith has raised him in mj estimation, as a con scientious Executive OAlcer. Although not originally a Smith man, I am satisfied that an unbiassed invest lion of this case, will cause any fair minded man to agree with me that Gov. Smith could not, as an honorable man, under oath, have acted different* ly in the premises. Allow me to congratulate you upon the success of your paper. I am not surprised at the popularity of au at* tractive, sprightly paper like the Times. More anou. “Thomas Loug and Hannah Short were lately married in Virginia. The notice in the local paper adds, ‘No card-*, no whiskey.* ” Short was lengthened into long— that’s the loug aud short of it—ahem l “Mrs. Gubbins says her husband is like a tallow candle,*because he always will smoke when he is going out.” Wc know of some who are made to smoke when they get back. A good healthy caudle lecture at 3 o'clock A. M., is apt to heat up man's proud soar ing spirit. “Wc learn, says tlic Nashville Un ion and American, from a reliable source that twenty-three granges in Charlton county, Kansas, have 2,700,- 000 bushels of corn for sale. Farmers are still burning this grain for fuel.” Give us aud the western producer’s groat International Canal, and the two sections will not only be mutually bencllttcd and their interests become uidetitified. but the young giant West and the South, risen from her ashes, will again rule the desliuics of this mighty nation. Our Old bachelors arc rejoicing over the advent ofbuttons that can be p.ut i with a screw driver.—Ex. We tried this new dodge the other morning. The doctor says, “he thinks the nail will grow on again.” Wc at tend .Sunday School and, occasionally, go to prayer-meetings; but there are occasional episodes in one’s life when ordinary “tract” language does not cover the case, aud this was one of them. A fashionable young lady dropped oue of her false eyebrows in a church pew, aud badly frightened a youn man next to her, who thought it w:i his moustache.—Ex. A young lady iu the next pew clc- ated her eyebrows, whilst the vonnj gent sitting next to her lowered his >tache. 7 his is the latest poetical contribu tion : Young man, spare that raisirg bustle Touch not a single “pape;” That woman’s had an awlul tustlc To get herself iu shape. The fellow that perpetrated the above has brain lever, superinduced by mental exertion. “A reporter of the Poughkeepsie Eagle, interviewed a winter menage- and left most of his trowsers against the bars of the cage occupied by a hyena.*' We heard of a chap not long since that went to interview his intended father-in-law. A bull dog with a well developed set of molars, escorted him to the front gate, retaining ns a menlo ot the affair about a half yard of the goods. lie now says that he always did prefer to stand up, most of the time. A square oath now and then re lieves the monotony of the passengers, who have lo lay over at Live Oak several hours, on account of the dis agreement of tho Railroads. These prolane passengers will injure the morals of tbat town. Keep, of the Live Oak Times, wants some one to keep him from having to take the people’s line to Suwaunec, by starting an ox-carl express. The idea of a country editor putting on ->uch airs as to demand a convey ance to go only a few miles. Some kind ofjudgmcut will be be visited on some of these fellows if they don’t mind. Just tea what Harris has come to. The Suwannee .Spring* are being put in order, for the accommodation of guesU. If a farmer happens to leave bis mule standing in Live Oak, and slept iu just to take a drink, the animal takes advantage of the thirsty owner and proceeds to git. He was traced, t Vt ** 4 • '♦ffl however, by the spokes and other frag ments of the cart. T he irate owner swore the bark from off several black jacks standing around where he found the last piece. “The postmaster of Lynchburg, Va. bad his name inscribed on a monu ment in Illinois erected to the memo ry of those killed in the war.” We don’t suppose that the good peo ple of Lynchburg would care,it he was about six feet beneath the base of tbat monument. John Chinaman is trying his hand at working iu single harness, ou the Pacific slope. Cause—epizooty. Is Train Crazy ?—A correspond ent, signing himselt Minneapolis, writes to the New York Sun, that if he were put out on the stand as a witness in the inquiry whether George Fran cis Train is sane or crazy, he would declare on the Evangelists: 1 believe him to be a sounder minded man than there is in the entire Republican party. What reason have you for saying that sir? the District Attorney would ask, with nose derisively high in the air. My reason is Train’s perfectly cor rect estimate of the calibre and value of Gen. Grant and Schuyler Collajt. expressed by him two years ago iu a lecture in St. Paul. He said that he never met Grant tbat he did not feel au impulse to run up to hiut and say ; My dear GcLcral, I have only a min ute aad a half to spare, but I want you to leK me all you know. Of the dis credited MobUier he said that he turn ed more machinery and made more uoise with a small engine than any man in the world had done ; and that he was the only grown up male citi zen of the United States who could di vide a lump of dough with perfect ea siness between a hundred chickens. The Jury that would not pronounce Train sane on the above testimony, should be sent to an asylum themselves. Notwithstanding the fact that the gieat smoker; “is apt to impress his mark upon the history oj the times in ichich hi lives.” We think George Francis Train’s estimate of Grant a good one. Men like to bcc themselves in print; women like to see themselves in a look- glass. Wc desire it understand that wc did, not perpetrate the above. It was dip ped. Wc highly disapprove of it—i pccially the first clause. Air. Janies Smith, an Australian journalist, has received a spiritual communication that the world is to b burned a9 black as a forgotten toasi by a wave of lire” in less than ;ar.—Ex. Now Smith wli^ts the use of ha rowing up a fcliows feelings, about this little Conflagration. There is oue consolation: your family will be the reatest sufferers. The “Jeffersonian” published Franklin Indiana, gravely traces the Epizootic, to the ponies of tho Picgau Indians. Lake City bases her claims to dis tinction on having a “Dolly VarJen Thcspean Corps.” The exhibitor of tho “best patched pants” will receive a prize at the coming Tompkins fair iu York. If some country Editor don’t that premium there will bo some swindling going ou. A Massachusetts woman appeared at the shop where her husband i» em ployed a short time ago, and apolo getically said: “Jim is not well. xr ~“ must excuse lr.nt from coming tc to-day. lie and 1 bad a little difficul ty at the breakfa«t table this inoruin . and he won’t he aide to work this week.” Jes so—Bui wc don’t know how it is ourselves. A divorce cannot be obtained in Ja pan, even it the husband has li air left on his head.—Ex. Sad fact that a man can't quit, after he has surrendered alt his capillary substance. Ex. Senator Nyc of Nevada, was recently airickcn with paralysis. Wonder if he was ever Conscience Stricken. The public will be pained to learn that he is recovering. Wc have one consolation, he was Nyc unto leath. One of the teachers in Mr. Spur geon’s Sunday School lias nine hun dred women enrolled in her class. The average attendance every Sunday afternoon is five hundred.—Ex. Our deepest sympathies are enlisted for that unfortunate teacher. She will doubtless grow deaf from the in cessant clatter, but loss of bearing will be some comfort. A scientific pleasure party called La Caravans Cmcerselle. is proposed in France. Its;object b the ciieurn- uavigation of the globe aud a grand exploration of tbe five parts of the earth. It is to he under the gaidancc M. le Cantame Bazeiqur, who has al ready been twice around tbe globe. Our engagements as stated else where on the Ocblockonce, will pre vent us joining the party. They will doubtless be disappointed, but we can’t help it. The editor of a Journal offered to send his girl the paper regularly, but she replied in sweet innocence, that her ’ma didn’t allow her to wear era.’ The poor girl only knew ouc use for a paper.—Ex. That girl was not up with the Times. The Stockholders of the Monticello and Georgia Rail Road met on the 2d. insL. and elected S. Pasco Pres’t and and A. B. Grunwe'l see. Thty are going to build the Road to Thomas- ville; so they say. Come along with it gentlemen we have no objection*. The annual sale of the J.P.4M. Road will take place on the 7th of July. Almost any body can buy it Hereafter the editor of the "‘Griffin News, will not take any boxes out ot the Express office, unless the charges are prepaid. ' ‘ According to A. H.Stephens, Espy an eccentric Pennsylvania schxat roaster, is tbe paternal ancestor of old Proba bilities. Selected for tbs Ttto—svflU Tikes. JACK HORNER. “Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner Eating a Christinas Pie: He put in his thumb. And pulled out a plum. And said, “What a great boy am I!” Ah, the world hath many a Homer, Who, seated in his comer, Finds a Christmas Pie provided for his thumb: And cries out with exultation, When successful exploration Doth discover the predestinated plnra! Little Jack outgrows his tire, And tccometh John Esquire; And he finds a monstrous pasty ready made, Stuffed with notes, bonds and bales. With invoices and sales. And mixed with all the ingredients of Trxde. And again it is his luck To be just in time to pluck, By a clever “operation,” from the pic An unexpected “plum;” So he glorifies his thumb, And says, proudly, “What a mighty man am I!” Or perchance, to science turaiug, Aud with weary labor learning All the formulas aud phrase* that op press her,— For the Iruit ot others’ bakinj So a fresh diploma taking. Comes he forth, a full accredited Pro- lessor! Or he’s not too nice to mix In the dish of politics; And thediguity of office he puts on: Aud he feels as big agaiu as a dozen nobler men. While he writes himself tbe Honorable Johu! Nay, he need not quite despair Of the Presidential Chair: The tiling is not unlikely to be done; Since a party puppet now May wear boldly on its brow The glory that a Webster never won! Not to hint at female Horners, Who, in their exclusive corners, Think the world is only made of up permost; Aud in the funny pie That we call Society, Their dainty fingers delicately thrust ; ’Till it sometimes comes to pass, Iu the spiced and sugared mass, One may compass (don’t they call it so?) a catch; And the gratillation given Seems as if the very heaven Had outdouc itself in mnkiug such a match! O, the world keeps Christmas Day In a queer pcri>ctunl way; Shouting always, “What a great, big Boy am I!” Yet how many of the crowd, Thus vociferating loud, And itn accidental honors lifting high, IIuvc really more than Jack, With all their lucky knack. •Had a Unger iu the making of the Pie' Mr. Kobb Becomes a Mason. I flatter myself I understand some thing about secret societies. I have a passion for that sort of thing ever since I was old enough to tell lies. 1 have scouted around pretty extensive ly among the different organizations, I’ve been an Orangeman, mid a Fen ian, and a Good Templar, aud a coun terfeiter, and also a Knight of Malta. 1 have belonged to the Sons of Tem perance, aud the Young Men’s Chris tian association, and the Band ot Hope, and a hand of robbers. I’ve been into everything, and I thought I knew everything almost, but I didn’t Three months ago 1 became infatuated with Masonry, and since I joined that wor thy organizaton 1 have discovered sev eral tilings connected therewith tluit outsiders don’t know just a petty good deal about. Now, Mr. Editor, l pro- . making these secrets public, not out of compassion for my fellow men who may be tending toward Masonry; and act as a warning, and so on, be cause 1 haven’t got a spark of human kindness in my bre-st, aud would rath er see every mother's son of them put to the torture thau not; but because 1 have got a spite ugainst the fellows who initiated me, who made tho irons too hot, and the goat too frisky, and treated me with a roughness generally that the occasiou did not warrant. Before fulminating my narrative I will state for the benefit of those y ’ c’on’t know, ’.hat Masonry is about hundred thousand years old. It i old when the fraternity got into trou- at the tower of Babel, and it was old when Adam first put on his apron a* grand master of the Eden lodge. As a more convincing pr<x>l of its antiqui ty 1 will just mention that a party of miners, the other day, in their excava tions, came upon the petrified remains of a Masonic lodge, with the member* in their places and all complete, ami eminent geologists who have examin ed the fossils arc of opinion that these bodies have been imbedded in lit* rocks for more than fifteen thousand years. On the evening [ was to be initiated 1 made my will and took a most affec tionate leave of my family. Thus pre pared I started for the lodge accompa nied by Bro. John Smith, fi. 1L S. P. T., who was to “sec me through.” We had no difficulty getting past the first entrance, but when we knocked at the second a fat little fellow looked out through a round bole in the door and ^ut this startling insticatory to Bro. Smith; CUetexdiroahighcockalorumV to which Bro. Smith replied cheerfully Nix-my-dolly-wback-doo. The little fellow then said: FlodzestcompbriUdy* turn turn; and my conductor giving a satisfactory answer, we were permit ted to enter. Before I bad time to look around me »longlegged fellow knocked me over with a dub; be then stood ms oo my feet and another ma rauder made a rash at me and brought me down again. After I had under gone this exhilarating exercise for about live minutes they stretched me When 1 came to my senses I was aloue in the ante-room of the lodge, it was a lively and cheerful apartment. A couple t* crocodiles were amusing themselves iu a comer and a few full grown rattlesnakes were practicing the flying trapeze on the stove pipe. Tito furniture cousistcd chiefly ot half a dozen mummies, the skeleton ot Captain Kidd, Lucretia Borgia. Guy Fawkes, Jack the Giant Killer, Oliver Cromwell, the Wandering Jew, Wil liam the Conqueror, Christopher Co lumbus aad Dick Turpin; a flying ma chine, three barrels of gunpowder and a remarkably healthy and well unde veloped wild cat. Just theu.half a dozen pirates, clad in aprons aud sashes, rushed into the room with u whoop. One of them, the highest and ugliest, who appeared to be”uie chief urdercU tbe attendants, in a voice of thunder, to trot out tho Aaiuial. The attend ants disappeared, but immediately re appeared, leading an iron-clad goat, a regular double decker, with sixteeu horns, a pair of wings, and seven or eight tails stuck all over him. My eyes were hauda^ed, aud I was told to mount. I said, gentleman, if; excuse me 1 would rather not. not accostomed to going up iu a bal loon; besides I’ve got au engagement down town. My wife wants to sou me particularly. I rather think my house is ou fire, (Ait I'll be back in a few min utes—yes. gentlemen, iu a few— —. Before I could fiuish my scutetice 1 was seized from behind ami pluuted firmly astride of the infernal goa Somebody then said, let’s go: an away we went. I've been through great mauy perilous scenes; I’ve bee down iu a railway collision, and up i a steamboat explosion ;l’ve fallen dow three flights of stairs, and wa'k- d out of a fourth story window, but this go: excursion was a little -ahead ofthci all. When I come to reflect on tl matter I wonder that I ever came out alive. The furious beast kiekc.i and screamed and rolled over and tun back somersaults, and drove ;aiust the ceiling and underneath the chairs, till the bandage gave ami I had to let go. 2’he goat i ished up thc*chimncy in a blue flsi ami I found myself in tho centre the lodge room with about titty Mu- ions iu aprous, and nothing e* dancing a war dance urouud me. ! rest of the members were standing their heads in the ditf. rent corners, all but the cadaverous looking buccaucci who seemed to he the head of the <lc purimcuL Soon they let! offduncinp and marched round the room i haul- inspiring dirge. 1 was then hauled up iu trout ol the chief's desk, who thus addressed me: "Brother Kobb, you are now one of us. You .re a member of an institution that as lasted over three million years, injiervious lo luumlanc'iuilu- euees. You are water proof, an.1 lire prooi;vou arc over proof! You can walk through the river or Ml ou a red ‘lot stove with impunity. Mortal man uuuot,Uartuyou, ami tin* devil himself must curl up his tail uml walk oil at your approach. Be virtuous, Mr. Kobb. and you will be happy.” 1 then assumed a sash and apron. u«ih.pi«b rJ », euMpepcr la iujt awe. pound moluo kad lo njr trooMU nodudo aad palled o»ck»llh redbot fuacUtn, with aTicv,Itu|> maocj. Saeannat) Catbs. TOM. HOME. Established 1850. I M P O R T E U —axd— TOholesale SEALED IX Wines. Liquors ? and'segars, E. L- NEIDL1NGER, -DEAI.EK IX— SADDLES, BRIDLES HARNESS, BELTING, SADDLERY WARE No. LIT. .st. Juiiun mid 153 JJrytui Sis^ ra»r Sion. MEINHARD 11ROS. A CO. • Wholesale Dealers in Boots, Slioes, Hats, READY-MADE Cid< >TII1N(*. ire Ills' K«i , .1 ii Never Turn Atouti<l in tin* Street with a Ladder on Your Shoulder. From Uiclhutourj Sow*. Old Mr. Watson on NcLon street has got a nice little bill to ;»ay. lit sent u man down town ior a pot ol aiut and a ladder. The u uu g«u paint, ami then went to a lumber )ar<l after a ladder. Then tied the p.tiui the end of the ladder, and put the Sn van null, €*u. N. B. KN APP, Wlioti'aala .-uni Detail 1*. si, lain Saddles, Bridles, Har ness, Rubber and Lejllicr Ilvliinf* ami Pack in French and Aim-ri. an Call .Skin*, Nole. //arue*-. Bridle, Band ami I’ateiit Leather, Valin.-*, Tiuukn, Carpet Bag-. Whips and -Saddlery Ware. At tiii. sign of *rii k Goldin S\d- DI.K. WI.VT KND GujIignV Ih jI Dl .O. Market Square, N l V A VYt 11,<- A. Large iiaw,rtin<-ut «>n Ur.-1 ni..l U si it* THE IVES SHIRT Sent to order C. O. D. To any part of the country, by i iug the following measures:’ Around the neck, .-.ml add one •boulder shoulder loin In Ol l..| id slli ladder on his shoulder. cry smart arrangement, and the man hunsclt admired it very nmeh. lie started for home this way, and didn't find any trouble in gcUiiig along the first block, because people had an im pression that a long ladder with a mil of yellow paint dangling on the end of it wasn’t exactly the thing to trifle with, so they balanced nJoug on the curb stone,or rubbed tip against the building*. Pretty soon the matt haw somebody in a store he knew, and lie turned around to speak to him, ami drove one eud ol the ladder into a mil linery case and knocked the etoau out of an SI* botnet. Then he backed off affright, and knocked down two sewing machine agentk with the other 1. Then he started to turn round, 1 au old gentleman who m ils <li spor- nlely endeavoring to pull his wife out f danger, saw the peril, uml should *ut “Hi, there!” But it wan too law-. The pot struck ngaimd an awning p«»hi and tipped to one hide, and the entire contents went over the aged ample. This so startled the man that be whirled completely around, smashing in an entire store trout, frightening a milk man’s team, and knocking ovt r thirteen persons who were ac tively dodging about to get out ol the way. Theu he dropped the ladder, ami Med into the country, tdiouiing murder” and ‘-fire” at every jump. A cgular ordained painter is now en gaged on Mr. WalM>u'» house. A Great C ountry. An emigrant to the country of the •Great West” thus writes to a friend at borne: is a glorious country! It ha* longer rivers and inure of tliern. aud they are muddier and deeper and tun faster, aud maac more noise. ri»< higher,fall lower, and do more damage than anybody el*e’s rivers, it ha* inure lakes, ami they are bigger and deeper, and clearer than any in other country. Our rail cars are bigg< r, and run faster, and pitch off the txa.de oftener, and kill more people than all othci rail cars In thin and every other country. Our steamboats carry big ger loads, are longer and broader, arid burst their toilers oftener. and the captain* swear harder than steamboat captains in any other country. Our men are bigger, and longer, ami thick er, can fight harder ami foster, and drink more mean whiskey, ami chew bail tobacco, and spit farther, ami not be killed, than any oilier country-. Our ladies are richer, prettier, dress finer, spend more money, break more hearts, wear bigger hoops, shorter drv**e», kick up the devil geaeraUv, to a grea ter extent, than in any other country. Ou« nigger* are blacker, work harder, hare thicker skulls, smell louder, and need thrashing oftener, than anr nig gers in any other Stale. Our children squeal loader, grow faster, get too extensive for their pantaloon* quicker than any other children in any other country.” When TOO Me a dead maa la Ike read, with loag hair, aa aukrcJotbuie. and bis boots run over, nt the bed, you may ha quite confident it is a newspaper man, murdered for hi* i Shirts open iu bac k f.tt Clothing or Furnishing GcskIs GOLD XHDDAI. Awarded lo I bo C *ot t on | COOK STOVE, .It tiic J'AlIt ol "The Industral Association orGi. 1 * Il'-I I st HaTaiihtli, .Vi ». tot»f, 1*71. Irh by vt'iJ.1 t|'«| lUelf »„ U Mr«ft MMw.l lia\’\uZ\iJi m Ur U* «*,• w!ll U> diM|'jr<i»i«-l. Xfefjr au,** For tiah by John \. Douglass, **Ur in Tl* WUn *u-| flog- fum- >. IV. I It r.yttos Hlx«-1, h.XVA.VNA If, «j A. ■foils 1. UOOKRri. I IR AKI. DAhfieiL ROGERS & DASHER Importers, JOBBEPS and RETAILERS Dry Goods, Fumy fi ooxj.n, I Joinery, Small Wan**,, UiMx>im and H t r a w <* o o tl h, Orders front the counlry strictly at tended and filled at the lowest ralct. B»wjU//n W*nt, 0#rker <x IVUuUt, SA VANS AH, - - 4fAa ». i. arajrs KOUTIIRKX. PHOTOORAPHrO AXO • T-3B RROTYPE STOCK UEI-OT, MVimH. OSOBOLA Fim-cUM Stock Et'xorthem Prt- **». »»»« Ume, freight, huaraocoL dreW.««c, toattttaT”