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102
iieve the true solution of the apparent myste
ry to be, that the Share Market has been so
extremely flat as to have prevented not only
the shares, but even the wheels from getting
any purchase at all.
A PARLIAMENTARY COLD WATER
CURE.
Mr. Hume very properly complains of the
lengthy talk of Members of the Commons. —•
There is no doubt of the alarming fact; the
Tongue of Parliament has grown too long
and too large. Like the tongue of a certain
species of parrot, it is in preposterous dispro
portion to the brevity of its body. Mr, Hume
proposes that certain Members, under certain
conditions, should only be permitted to speak
for half-an-hour. We would make this an
other Point of the Charter. Few Members
are so full of knowledge that they may not
pump themselves entirely dry in thirty min
utes. The ancients measured time by an in
strument that dropt water; a machine called
a clepsydra. Now, we would, improving up
on this notion, measure Parliamentary time
by the power of the lymph; and after this
manner: —
We would have every Member about to
address the House, place himself in a sort of
roofed pulpit. He should not be permitted to
utter a syllable from any other place. Well,
from this pulpit there must be a wire leading
to the chair of the Speaker. The Member
having had his full thirty minutes’ discourse,
should be summoned by the Speaker to re
move himself to his seat. Two minutes’—for
we would do nothing rashly, uncourteously
—two minutes’ grace should be allowed. If
after then, the Member persisted to address
the House, the Speaker should touch the
wire, which, communicating with the roof of
the pulpit, should act like the string of a show
er-bath, and immediately flood the orator. —
No call to “Order” could, in our opinion, be
half so efficacious. Again, should a verbose,
stammering Member, with sundry bottles of
champagne fizzing and effervescing from un
der his white waistcoat, still insist upon trans
gressing the half-hour, he would be soundly
.tucked, as was done in the good old times,
for the misdemeanor of scolding.
Revolting Indeed. —lt is generally said
that language is inadequate to characterize
the conduct of the Parisian Insurrectionists.
We believe that we precisely - describe the
rebels’ proceedings by prououncing them per
fectly revolting.
}j]|)Uosopl)r> for tljc
vSUBSTITUTE FOR GLASS FOR ELEC
TRICAL MACHINES.
Cut strong mill pasteboard of a circular
form and smoothed at the edges upon which
successive layers of shellac are laid until it
has become of the proper thickness—each
layer being allowed to become perfectly dry
before the other is applied. The shellac
should be dissolved in wood naphtha or py
roligneous acid, without heat and applied
with a brush. By this means a perfectly
smooth surface will be obtained. Shellac be
ing the best nonconductor of electricity, is cer
tainly the best substance for producing it.
The shocks from it are short but follow 7 in
quick succession, and give more pain to the
knuckles when held to them than a glass ma
chint. This is cheaper than glass, and fully
as strong. The best plan is to have two
plates on the same axle as a far greater in
crease of power in the same space, is thus
obtained, than by the single plate.
CREAM.
If cream, well wrapped in a cloth, is put
into a hole in damp earth and left there for
about twenty four hours, it will become clar
ified and turn into a substance neither butter
nor cream, but which combines the qualities
of both and has a very delicate and agreeable
taste, provided the cream used is sweet and
good.
TO KEEP BIRDS FROM FRUITS.
The following plan, which I discovered by
accident, is, I think, perfectly efficacious. One
of my servants having by chance broken a
looking-glass, it occurred to me that the bro
ken pieces suspended by a string, so as to turn
freely in every direction, would give the ap
pearance of something moving about which
would alarm the birds, I accordingly tried
the plan, and find that no bird, not even the
most fool-hardy ol them (a nest of newly fledg
ed sparrow's,) dare come near.
They had attacked my peas. On suspend
tbinfMAißY ®& s s inf ♦
ing a few bits of the looking-glass amongst
them the marauders left the place. The tom
tits attacked my seckel pears (w'hich they
seemed very partial to;) a bit of looking-glass
suspended in front of the tree put a stop to
the mischief. My grapes were next much
damaged before they w r ere ripe, by thrushes
and starlings; a piece of looking-glass drove
these away, and not a grape was touched af
terwards. I have before tried many plans,
but never found any so effective as the a
bove. — Correspondent of Gardener's Chroni
cle.
UNIVERSAL ORRERY GLOBE.
Mr. J. D. Hales, of Linton, England, has
secured a patent for anew kind of Orrery
Globe, which is to eclipse all the w r orks ever
produced by ancient or modern astronomers.
For three years Mr. Hales challenged the as
tronomical world to meet him in London un
der the forfeiture of one thousand pounds, to
discuss and prove the precise period of
Joshuas miracle of tne sun standing still: also
the true principle of the magnet and what its
variations w r ould be for the next thousand
years, &c. No one took up his challenge, so
he has now T registered his astronomical appa
ratus in the London Patent Office, by which
he can tell accurately all the past and future
eclipses of sun and moon —“every eclipse
that will happen to the end of time,” —the
increase and decrease of latitude, with change
of variation of the magnet, and a great num
ber of other important astronomical particu
lars, mooted and unmooted. If the instrument
which is two curiously constructed and ar
ranged globes, be all that the inventor and
patentee represents them to be, his invention
certainly must be esteemed the most wonder
ful invention of the day.— Scientific American.
NATURE OF SPOTS ON THE SUN.
On the solar envelope of whose fluid na
ture there can be no doubt, is clearly perceiv
ed by telescopes, an intermixture, (without
blending or mutual dilution) of two distinct
substances, or states of matter; the one lumi
nous, the other not so, and the phenomena of
the spots and pores tend directly to the con
clusion that the non-luminous portions are
gaseous, however they may leave the nature
of the luminous doubtful; they suggest, the
idea of radiant matter floating in a nonradiant
medium, showing a tendency to separate it
self by subsidence, after the manner of snow
in air, or precipitates in a liquid of slightly
inferior density.
STATISTICS OF MUSCULAR POWER.
Man has the powder of imitating almost ev
ery motion but that of flight. To effect these
he has, in maturity and health, 60 bones in
his head, 60 in his thighs and legs, 62 in his
arms and hands, and 67 in his trunk. He
has also, 434 muscles. His heart makes 64
pulsations in a minute, and therefore 3,840 in
an hour —92,160 in a day. There are also
three complete circulations of his blood in the
space of an hour. In respect to the compar
ative speed of animated beings and of impell
ed bodies, it may be remarked that size and
construction seem to have little influence—
nor has comparative strength; though one bo
dy giving any quantity of motion to another
is said to lose so much of its own. The sloth
is by no means a small animal, and yet it
can travel only fifty paces a day, a worm
crawls only five inches in fifty seconds : but
a lady-bird can fly twenty million times its
ow r n length in less than an hour. An elk
can run a mile and a half in 7 minutes; an
antelope a mile in a minute : the wild mule of
Tartary has a speeed even greater than that;
an eagle can fly 18 leagues an hour; and a
Canary falcon can even reach 250 leagues in
the short space of 18 hours. A violent wind
travels 60 miles in an hour ; sound, 1,142 Eng
lish feet in a second.
| THE LAW OF PATENTS.
AH patents must be issued in the name of
the United States; bear the seal oT the patent
office; be signed by the Secretary of the
Treasury, and countersigned by the Commis
sioner of Patents, and be recorded in the pa
tent office with ail accompanying specifica
tions and drawings. Patents grant to ap
plicants, for fourteen years, the sole right to
make and sell the invention or discovery.—
Applications for patents must be made to the
Commissioner in writing, and must give a full
clear, and exact description of, the invention
or discovery, specifying particularly what is
claimed as the peculiar invention or discov
ary: the whole to be accompanied with draw
ings, models, and specimens of ingredients,
and of the composition of matter. The des
criptions and drawings must be signed by the
inventor, attested by tw 7 o witnesses, and filed
in the patent office. The applicant must
make oath of what country he is a citizen,
that he believes that he is the original and
first inventor or discoverer of that for whieh
he solicits a patent, and that he does not
know or oelieve that the same was ever be
fore known or used. Before the applications
are considered by the Commissioner, S3O must
be paid to the Treasurer, by the applicant,
if a citizen, or an alien w r ho has resided one
year in the United States, and made oath of
his intention to become a citizen ; SSOO by a
subject of the Queen of Great Britain, and
by all other persons.
.fragments of Jim.
THE “ JOHN BULL” EDITOR.
It is well known that this paper was edited
by the talented and facetious Theodore Hook,
who once very narrowly escaped exceedingly
awkward difficulties originating in this prac
tice of scandal. He had published a vile
calumny on a Colonel connected with a noble
family, who made no secret that he intended
to curb Hook’s wit by a smart application of
the horse-whip. The editor heard that he
was coming, and made his arrangements ac
cordingly, being quite ready for what he re
garded as a suitable reception. Full of mar
tial fury, the Colonel walked off to the John
Bull office, in Fleet Street, burning with re
venge, having borrowed the whip of the rid
ing master of the regiment, with which he
appeared, only partially concealed under his
cloak, and intimated his wish at the counter
to see “the editor.” He was politely shown
into a room, and informed that “ the editor”
would wait upon him immediately. Like a
chafed lion he walked up and down the room
during the interval, flourishing his weapon of
vengence. In a short time the door opened,
and in walked a man of the Brobdignag spe
cies, some six feet two in height, and stout in
proportion, clad in a thick while fuzzy over
coat, with a large cotton shawl around his
neck, in which his chin was buried, a broad
oilskin hat upon his head, and a most suspi
cious-looking and tremendous oak stick un
der his arm.
“•What moight you want with me, sir?”
“I want,” said the Colonel, “to seethe
editor.”
“ Your humble sarvant , sir, I is the yeditor ,
at your sarwiss ,” said the Brobdignag, taking
from under his arm the cudgel about the
thickness of a clothes prop.
“ Indeed,” said the Colonel, edging towards
the door, evidently feeling himself in circum
stances different to what he had expected.—
“Well, I will call again some other day.”
“Do so,” said the imperturbable Brobdig
nag,—l'se your humble sarvant at anytime.”
And so the parties separated.
JOHN SMITH.
We mention this gentleman's cognomen
with some reluctance, for the reason that
there are two persons of the same name in
Gotham, John Smith was returning to town
on one occasion -about mid-night, in a dark
snowstorm. He was “full of new wine,”
and was quite unable, after riding for an hour,
to find his own dwelling: but he drove up to
a house which he thought must be at least in
his neighborhood, and almost wrenched the
bell-pull off with his hurried and repeated
ringings. At length a neighbor’s head peered
from an upper winnow: “What do you want
down there ?” said not the best-natured voice
in the world; “what do you want ? ringing
the bell as if the house was on fire! What do
you want ?” “ Can you tell me where John
Smith lives?” “J-o-h-n S-m-i-t-h?” answer
ed the recognizing neighbor, with a kind of
exclamatory interrogation; “why, you are
John Smith yourself!” “ 1 know that as well
as you do.” hiccupped John, “ but I don't
know where 1 live! want to know w-h-e-r-e
/ l-i-v-e ?” Somebody showed him.—Knicker
bocker.
Fat and the Steam Engine. —An Irish
man, a day or two since, who had been often
and profitably employed as a stevedore, was
intently gazing at a Steam Engine that was
whizzing away at a swift rate, doing his work
for him, and lifting the cotton out of a hold of
a ship quicker than you can say “Jack Rob
inson.” Pat looked till his anger was pretty
well up, and then, shaking his fist at the “tar
nal critter,” he exclaimed:
“ Choog, Choog, spet, stame it and be
bothered, ye ould child o’Satan, that ve are !
Ye may do the work oltwenty-five fellies—ye
may take the bread out iv an honest Irish
man's mouth—but by the powers, now, “ ye
can't vote, ould blazer, mind that will ye!”
Scriptural Graiiamism. —A man who had
given himself up to the doctrines of the great
dietist,. Graham, was once discovered vora
ciously putting, out of sight a large beef-steak,
“Why!” said nis friend in surprise, “ I thought
you lived on vegetable diet!” “ Soj I do,
choked out the carnivorous animal; “So ]
and not all flesh grass ?”
A Large Onion.—“ Do you call them large
turnips?”
“Why yes, they are considerably large.”
“They may be so for turnips, but they are
nothing to an onion I saw the other day.”
“And how large was the onion ?”
“Oh! a monster: it weighed forty pounds.”
“ Forty pounds!”
“Yes, and we took off the layers, and the
sixteenth layer went completely round a dem
ijohn that held four gallons!”
“ What a whopper!”
“You don’t mean to say that I lie ?”
“Oh! no; what a whopper of an onion, T
mean.”
Manners. —While George 111. was walk
ing the quarter deck, a sailor asked one of
his messmates “Who that lubberly fellow
was that did not douse his peak to the Ad
miral ?” “Why its the king,” said Jack.—
“Well, king or no king,” retorts the other.
“ he T s an unmannerly dog!” “ Where should
he learn manners,” rejoined Jack, “he never
was out of sight of land in his life.”
A Latin Pun.—The archbishop of York
was very fond of a pun. His clergy dining
with him, for the first time after he had lost
his lady, he told them he feared they did not
find things in so good order as they used to
be, in the time of poor Mary; and looking
extremely sorrowful, added with a deep sigh,
“She was indeed Marepacficum .” A curate,
who well knew what she had been, called
out, “ Aye, my lord, but she was Mare mor
tuum first.”
mwm 9 s
ATHENS, SATURDAY, AUGUST 5, 1848
Commencement Week in Athens.
It koines directly within our province to chronicle
the events of the annual commencement of the Uni
versity of Georgia, the great literary festival which
never fads to congregate in our pleasant town a host
of visitors from all parts of the State, and frequently
from contiguous States.
An account of the various exercises will probably
be acceptable to all our readers, and we shall there
fore devote our leader to this record, in a style with
out any other pretension than to succinctness and
brevity.
Ihe initial exercises took place on Sunday morn
ing in the College Chapel, when a sermon was
preached by the Rev. C. H. HaU, of the New-York
Diocess. 1 his duty had been assigned to the Rev.
Dr. Ihornwell, of the South Carolina College, who
was prevented, however, by severe illness in his fam
ily, from being present. Mr. Hall, therefore, after
much solicitation, consented to discharge the duty,
which lie did to the complete gratification of his
large auditory. Ihe sermon was characterized by
vigor of thought, purity of style, and elegance of dic
t;on ; and was followed by an address to the Gradu
ating Class so felicitous both in sentiment and style,
that we have prevailed with, the author to allow us
the pleasure ot laying it before our readers in this
number.
* hi Monday a number of young gentlemen of tlie
Sophomore Class contended in generous rivalry for
prizes in Declamation. These prizes are two beau
tiful medals of gold, engraved with appropriate mot
toes and devices—and assigned by the voice of im
partial judges to those two of the candidates who ex
hibit the greatest excellence in the art of speak
ing. 1 hese prizes are annual, and w ere instituted
in 1844 at the request of the late Professor of Khet
oric and Belles-lettres. It strikes us as an admira
ble measure, and we cannot doubt that it has result
ed beneficially to the young speakers.
On this occasion there was really much excellence,
and the diligence and fidelity of the instructor were
quite apparent iu the graceful carriage and ad-