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bombarded the giant, Pride, in his most for
midable castle, forced him to capitulate, and
taken him captive—in a word, who has sub
dued every thought, every impulse, every
feeling, every aspiration to the supreme do
minion of his will—has displayed a lofty
generalship, a glorious heroism, and has earn
ed laurels in truth immortal. “He that con
quereth himself, is greater than he thattaketh
a city.”
GMcctic of tVit.
THE FISHERMAN.
BY JOHN <i. SAXE.
There lived an honest fisherman,
I knew him passing well,
Who dwelt hard by a little pond,
Within a little dell.
A grave and quiet man was he,
Who loved his hook and rod ;
So even ran his line of life,
His neighbors thought it odd.
For science and for books, he said
He never had a wish ;
No school with him was worth a fig,
Except a “ school of fish.”
The single-minded fisherman
A double calling had —
To tend his flock in winter time,
In summer fish for shad.
In short, this honest fisherman
All other toils forsook,
And though no vagrant man was he,
He lived by “ hook and crook.”
All day that fisherman would sit
Upon an ancient log,
And gaze into the water, like
Some sedentary frog.
A cunning fisherman was he,
His angles were all right,
And when he scratched his aged pod,
You’d know he’d got a bite.
To charm the fish be never spoke,
Although his voice was fine,
He found the most convenient way
Was just to “ drop a line.”
And many a “ gudgeon” of the pond,
If made to speak to-day,
Would own, with grief, this angler had
A mighty “ taking way.”
One day, while fishing on a log,
He mourned his waut of luck,
When suddenly he felt a bite,
And jerking —caught a duck.
Alas ! that day the fisherman
Had taken too much grog,
And being but a landsman, too,
He couldn’t “keep the log.”
In vain he strove with all his might,
And tried to gain the shore ;
Down, down ho went, to feed the fish
He’d baited oft before 1
The moral of this mournful tale
To all is plain and clear ;
A single “ drop too much” of rum
May make a watery bier.
And he who will not “sign the pledge,”
And keep the promise fast,
May be, in spite of fate, a stiff
Cold water man at last!
THE SAILOR IN COURT.
The following scene occurred during the
examination of tne mate of the ship Prince of
Wales, in a case of damage sustained by her
in consequence of being run foul of by the
barque Lady Elizabeth, in the Downs.
Mr. Waddy. —“You have already stated
that the wind shifted in the evening. Pray
at what time did the wind shift?”
“ The latter part of the dog watch.”
“ I ask not during which dog’s watch it
was, my question refers to time. What hour
was it when the wind shifted ?”
“About three bells.”
“ Three o’clock, eh ?”
“ I never said three o’clock,” returned the
witness, marking the lawyers mistake. “ I
said three bells—half past five—four to six,”
reiterated Waddy. “ What a precise specifi
cation of time, well, then, sir, at three bells,
how was the weather then ?”
“Greasy, looking to the sou’west. Sun,
too, looked wild and watery. Anyone, with
half an eye, could a seed a storm was brew
ing.”
“ When the Lady Elizabeth cast anchor,
did she take a position properly apart from
the Prince of Wales?”
“ She did—but ”
t‘Come, sir, let’s have no buts—answer the
question direct.”
“ Well, then, I saydj when one takes into
account sarcumstances as might deceive the
best men in taking up a distance, I must say
as how the barque might have taken up a
worse berth.”
“ In what way could that deception arise ?”
’ “In consequence of our buoy’s not watch
ing at the time.”
“The boy not watching at the time —a la
*/y young dog—now the murder’s coming
s©®itisasafia a*airssasi ©asstfita*
out,” said Waddy, exultingly \ and then desir
ing the witness to reply direct to the next
question which he was about to put to him —
and, above all, to beware of any kind of pre
varcation, he thus proceeded :
“ I ask you, sir, as a seaman on your oath,
would matters have gone the wrong way with
the Prince of Wales, had there been a prop
er watch upon deck ?”
The absurdity of this question, added to
the pompous, declamatory tone in which it
was delivered, excited so much noise and
mirth among the nautical portion of the audi
ence, that it became neccessary to eject
from court a couple of Sunderiink skippers.
Under the restoration of order and the repeti
tion of the question, the witness replied :
“ There was a watch upon deck.”
“My Lud,” said Waddy, turning to the
Bench, “ this is positively the grossest case
of prevarication I ever met with. Do you
persist in swearing”—interrogating the wit
ness—“that a proper watch had been on deck
when the wind shifted ?”
“ I do,” replied the mate, in a firm and de
termined tone.
“Do you come here to insult our common
sense ? Is it possible you possess sufficient
effrontery to tell these intelligent gentlemen”
—at the same time pointing to the Jury—
“that in a vessel situated as the Prince of
Wales was, and bad weather coming on, the
watch should have devolved on a dumb ani
mal ?”
The witness looked blank.
“Do you hear, sir,” vociferated the bul
ly‘ T
“I does’nt understand you,” replied the
deponent, with perfect composure.
The question was shaped anew :
“ I ask you, sir, whether it was fitting to
entrust a vessel exposed to the elements, as
well as the privateers of the enemy, to the
vigilance of a dumb animal—to the watch of
a dog ?”
“ There was ne’er a dog on board,” said
jhe witness bluntly.
“And yet, gentlemen of the jury, the wit
ness has had the audacity to assert upon oath
that the wind shifted during the latter part of
the dog’s watch.”
“Bili, let’s bolt,” said an auditor, address
ing a brother tar in the rear of the Court.—
“By the Lord Harry, there’s no standing that
squinting beggar’s lubberly lip.”
The Judge had already decided that the
witness was bound to state distinctly the des
cription of the watch that had been left upon
the ship’s deck.
The witness said :
“ James Thompson, my Lord, had charge
of the deck during the whole of the four-to
six watch. A better seaman never puddened
an anchor, hauled out a weather earing, or
took lead of helm in hand.”
“Then how comes it,” asked the lawyer,
“that this super-excellent seaman was not as
competent to prevent the Lady Elizabeth run
ning on board the Prince of Wales as the
boy of whom you boast so much ? (Some
brat of his own, no doubt,” added Waddy,
aside to the Jury.)
The witness not appearing to understand
the question, the Judge requested Mr. Waddy
to repeat it.
“I ask the witness, my Lud, if the boy,
whose dexterity in taking up a distance, he
extols so much, could have prevented the
dangerous proximity of the Lady Elizabeth
to the Prince of Wales, why then, I ask, as
a mere matter of precaution, was not this
matchless, quick-sighted lad put on the
watch ?”
The mate remained mute.
“ Put it more directly, Mr. Waddy,’ said’
the Judge.
Waddy bowed to the Bench.
“Why was not the boy put upon the
watch ?”
“ Because ’t wanted bleeding,” was the
reply.
“ Had you a surgeon in the ship ?”
At this question, the assumed gravity of
the witness was put to the test. It was with
great difficulty he could restrain from laugh
ing aloud; he. however, answered in. the ne
gative.
“ No surgeon in the ship ?”
“ Sartainly not.”
“ Then how,, sir, can you take upon your
self to give an opinion upon a medical point.
Pray, sir, have you made physic, as well as
seamanship, a study ?”
“I can’t abide physic—never took a dose
in my life.”
“ Then upon what grounds do you assert
that the boy wanted bleeding ?”
“Cause U was full of water.”
“Gracious heavens!” exclaimed Waddy,
with extended arms, “ was ever greater igno
rance betrayed ? My Lud, the jury never
can receive such testimony. Who everheard
of resorting to depletion in a dropsical
case ?”
“ I say it again,” replied the witness, look
ing at Waddy full in the face, “the buoy
wanted tapping.”
“ Never, nevei was there an instance of
such gross prevarication. Note this, gentle
men of the jury, he first swears that the boy
wanted bleeding, and now that he finds him
self in error, turns from the operation of
bleeding to that of tapping.”
“Well, I say so still; bleeding’s just as
proper a form as tapping. Now take the
turns out of that if you can,” said the mate,
in a tone of defiance.
“I can’t suffer you to be insolent to coun
sel,” said the Judge, addressing the witness
in a peremptory tone.
“I’m not insolent, my Lord; but where’s
the man, my Lord, as can bear to be bullied
and badgered by a lubberly lawyer, as does’nt
much as know the mainbrace from the Cap
tain’s breeches ?”
This burst of oflended feeling excited in
the Court a sensation not to be described. —
The sons of the sea were seen to rub their
huge hands with evident delight, whilst ex
pressions of surprise, and scowls of indigna
tion, betrayed themselves in the tell-tale fea
tures of the members of the bar. — English
paper.
Newspaper 2tnalects.
USEFUL FACTS.
Varieties of Milk. —As far as we know
no nation uses the milk of any carnivorous
animal. There is no reason for believing
that the milk of this order of animals would
be either disagreeable or unwholesome; but
the ferocity and restlessness of the creatures
will always present an obstacle to the ex
periment. The different milks of those ani
mals with which we are acquainted agree in
their chemical qualities, and is confirmed by
the fact, that other animals besides man can
be nourished in infancy by the milk of very
distinct species. Rats and leverets have been
suckled by cats, fawns by ewes, foals by
goats, and man, in all stages of his existence,
bas been nourished by the milk of various
animals, except the carnivorous. The milk
of the mare is inferior in oily matter to that
of the cow. but it is said to contain more su
gar, and other salts. The milk of the ewe
is as rich as that of the cow, in oil, but con
tains less sugar than that of other animals.
Cheese made of ewe milk is still made in Eng
land and Scotland, but it is gradually being
disused. The milk of the ass approaches
that of human milk in several of its qualities.
To this resemblance it owes its use by inva
lids in pulmonary complaints, but it has no
particular virtue to recommend its preference,
and is only prescribed by nurses. Goat’s
milk perhaps stands next to that of the cow
in its qualities; it is much used in Southern
Europe. It affords excellent cheese and but
ter, its cream being rich, and more copious
than that from cows. Camel’s milk is em
ployed in China, Africa, and, in short, m all
those countries where the animal flourishes.
It is, however, poor in every respect, but still,
being milk, it is invaluable where butter is
not to he procured. The milk of the sow re
sembles that of the cow, and is used at Can
ton and other parts of China. The milk of
the buffalo is also like that of the cow, though
the two animals belong to different species.
Every preparation of milk, and every sepa
rate ingredient of it, is wholesome ; milk,
cream, butter, cheese, fresh curds, whey, skim
med milk, butter-milk, &c. Butter-milk and
whey will undergo a spontaneous vinous fer
mentation, if kept long enough, and alcohol
can be distilled from them. The Tartars, it is
well known, prepare large quantities of spir
ituousdrink from mare’s milk.— Laing's Notes
of a Traveller.
BENEFIT OF ACTION.
So far from complete inaction being per
fect enjoyment, there are few greater suffer
ings than that which the total absence of oc
cupation generally induces. Count Caylies,
the celebrated French antiquary, spent much
time in engraving the plates which illustra
ted his valuable work. When his friends
asked him why he worked so hard at such
an almost mechanical occupation, he said—
“Jc grave pom- nepas mependre” —M engrave
lest l should hang myselt. When Napoleon
was slowly withering away from disease and
ennui together, on the rock of St. Helena, it
was told him that one of his old friends, an
e.x-colonel in the Italian army, was dead.-
“ What and isease killed him ?” asked Napo
leon. “That of having nothing to do,” it
was answered. “Enough,” said Napoleon,
“even had he been an emperor.”
21 Column Crcctctr to Jam
Di© IT a Purpose.— An honest old farmer
had an unruly bull, which had a remarkab'e
love for him “in a horn” and a singular
penchant for giving his acquaintances and
friends a “ lift in the world.” One day the
old farmer was driving the bull home much
against his inclination, and getting enraged
he suddenly hoisted the old man across the
fence into the road, but fortunately only slight
ly hurting him. The old man gained his e
quilibrium, and then he saw the enraged an
imal sawing the air with his head and neck
and pawing the ground. The good old man
looked steadily at him a moment, and then
shaking his fist at him, exclaimed—“ Co
nfound your apologies yon needn’t stand
there, you tarnal critter, a bowin’ and scra
pin’—you did it a purpose, darn you.”
Not at Home.— When Cibber once went
to visit Booth, and knew that he wa.3 at home
a female domestic denied him. He took no
notice of this at the time; but when in a few
days afterwards Booth paid him a visit in re
turn, he called out from the first floor that he
was not at home.
“ How can that be ?” answered Booth,
“ do I not hear your voice ?”
“To he sure you do,” replied Cibber; “but
what then ? I believed your servant-maid,
and it is hard indeed if you won’t believe me. n
1 ■ i
Clerical Joke. —-At the meeting of the
church the pastor gave out the hymn com
mencing with “ I love to steal awhile away,”
when the chorister commenced singing, hot
owing to some difficulty in recollecting the
tune, could proceed no farther than “ I love
to steal,” which he did three or four times in
succession, when the clergyman, in order to
relieve him from, the dilemma, waggishly re
marked, that it was “ very much to be regret
ted,” and added, “let us pray.”
■i ■ i
A Troublesome Congregation. One
Sunday when the Minister of Udney entered
the kirk, he was no less surprised than in
dignant to find that “ daft, (half-witted) Jamie
Fleming” had taken possession of the pul
pit. “Come doon, Jamie,” said his rever
ence. “ Come ye up, sir,” answered Jamie ;
“they’re a stiffneckit and rebellious genera
tion, sir, an’ it will tack us baith to manage
them.”— Liverpool Standard.
A Strong Sermon. —A man in an East
ern city, somewhat noted for wrestling, spar
ing, and kindred physical feats, having been
persuaded to enter a church on the Sabbath,
and “sit out ” along doctrinal discourse, was
asked, on retiring after the service, what he
thought of the sermon. “ Think ?” said he:
“ why, if I couldn’t preach a better sarmont
than that, with one hand tied behind me, you
can take my hat!”
A Parisian author has translated
Shakspeare’s line, “ Out, brief candle !” in
to the French, thus, “ Get out, you short can
dle!” This is not as bad as the translation
of an exclamation of Milton’s by a French
man, who rendered “Hail ! horrors, hail!”
thus, “ How d’ye do, horrors ?-• how d’ye
do ?”
Stammering, (says Coleridge) is some
times the cause of a pun. Someone was
mentioning in Lamb’s presence the cold
lieartedness of the Duke of Cumberland, in
restraining the duchess from rushing up to
the embrace of her son, whom she had not
seen for a considerable time, and insisted on
her receiving him in a state. “ How horri
bly cold it was,” said the narrator. —“Yes,”
said Lamb, in his stammering way, “ but
you know he is the Duke of Ctt-cum-ber
land.
JSkST 4 “A splendid triumph of science,” said
Mr. Muggins to his wife; “ a Mr. Hartford
has given a boy anew lip, which he took
from his cheek.” “That’s nothing, pa; I
saw the new doctor take two from our Patty s
cheek the other day, and the operation did not
seem to be painful either.”
“I can’t see the use of people’s quar
reling,” said Mrs. Partington; “ it’s very
strange that they can't live together as neigh
bors, in peace and concordance, without all
this bitterness and antimony'. Why, I habit
ed with Deacon Bess in the same house fur
forty years, and never a word of anger pass
ed between us. He was a neighbor,” sighed
she. In the last ejaculation how much of
regret was embraced. Another word and all
its beauty would have been lost. — Bost.
Love, like the plague, is often com
municated by clothing and money.