Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

with this billet. They talked a great deal of moral suicide, wilful murder, and seeking the bubble reputation at the cannon’s mouth; but 1 shall ever think that I took the proper course, for, after the lapse of a few hours, two more of the General’s red-coats, or Gen eral postmen, brought me a large packet seal ed with the War-Office Seal, and superscribed “Henry Hardinge,” by which I was officially absolved from serving on Horse, or on Foot, or on both together, then and thereafter. And why, 1 know not, unless His Majesty doubted the handsomeness of discharging me in particular, without letting off the rest: but it was, that in a short time afterwards ihere issued a proclamation, by which the services of all militia-men were for the pres ent dispensed with, and we were left to pur sue our several avocations, of course, all the lighter in our spirits for being disembodied. THE YANKEE PEDLAR, BY FRED. MARYLAND. In the fall of 1822, on my way from New York to Washington, I stopped for a couple of days in the pleasant city of New Bruns wick. On the afternoon of my arrival six or eight of the townsmen were congregated in White Hall Hotel, discussing the character, and animadverting upon the habits of one of their citizens, a Mr. D s, who was no torious for his cunning at a bargain, and close tistedness in money matters. As the conver sation was carried on in a pretty loud key, I may as well let the actors speak for them selves. “Close, did you say?” remarked one, “ why vou might as well try to fish a dollar out of the ocean, as get fairness out of him in a bar gain.” “ A perfect skinflint!” uttered a little dis satisfied looking fellow. “ 1 knew him when he wasn’t worth a dollar, and now he counts thousands where I do hundreds, and all made by shaving and taking advantage of the ne cessities of others. Oh, he is a sharper.” “ True,” said another, “ he’s the keenest fellow I ever knew. Look, how he did Smith, in that house and lot business, and Smith’s not slow at a bargain; a man should rise early to trade with Smith, I can tell you.” “ There’s no mistake about D s be ing a sharper,” added the third. “He would out Yankee Yankeedom, and not half try,” put in a plethoric individual, who seemed determined to add his testimo ny. “ L would give ten dollars to have him hand somely taken in.” said one of them. “ So would I,” repeated two or three’ During the conversation I had observed an individual with a strongly marked Yankee face, who was paying strict attention to the speakers. He was a tin pedlar, and had ihree waggons loaded with lanterns, then in the yard. V T hen they began to talk of giv ing money to have their neighbor outwitted, he arose, and putting on the Yankee pretty strongly, he said— “ Gentlemen, I dont know that ere individ ual, about whom you are speaking—l say I don’t know him —but if you’ve a mind to subscribe a little grain of something, just to pay the ventur like, why I shouldn’t mind tryin it. I calculate it might be done. I’ve beam of sich people afore, and I dont know but what I might be able to fetch him. I’m in the tradin’ line, and it is all in the way of trade.” “Just the dandy, gentlemen,” exclamed someone of the party, “just the ticket for soup.” “You’re in the trading line, are you ?” in quired another. “Yes, gentlemen—tradin’smy occupation. I'm clean from Bangor way down in the State of Maine. I can do a leetle of most any thing. In the summer, I stays tu hum and help the old folks —in the fall and winter I peddle tin-ware, mostly lanterns.” “You don't sell lanterns?” said the plethor *c citizen, inquiringly. “I’d like to knew if 1 haint got three hun dred of ’em in my waggon in the yard.” “Oh! you have, eh! Well you’re the ver y man we want.” “ Y-e-s,” said the Yankee. “We will make up a purse of S2O ror you, if you will bamboozle our friend D s.” “I shouldn’t wonder if I could strike a trade with him.” “When will you do it?” “ calculate tt can be done to-morrow.” “ Very well—if you succeed the money is yours.” Twenty dollars were immediately collected and given to the landlord, as an earnest of meir seriousness, and the party broke up to >neet the next evening. On the following Ik OIfISIE &IB ¥ iB&SSWffS. morning, our Yankee acquaintance, who was a shrewd, intelligent fellow, put on a genteel suit, and after having made a good many in quiries respecting the habits, manners,’ ap pearance and residence of Mr. D s, mounted a horse, and took a round-about course for his house, with the intention of stopping there on his return, as if just from Philadelphia. As good luck would have it, old D s was standing in front of his house, as the Yankee approached. “ Sir,” said the latter, “will you be good enough to inform me how a it is to New Brunswick ?” “Two miles, sir,” said D s. “And how far is it to New York ?” “ About forty miles by stage.” “Are there any tin smiths in New Bruns wick ?” continued the Yankee. “Why, yes, there are two or three small affairs.” “I am sorry they are so small —I was in hope of being able to fill an order there which our house has received for lanterns.” “Lanterns,” said the old fellow quickly taking the bait, for he had seen three waggons loaded with them only the day before. “ Yes,” added the other carelessly, “we have a heavy order, and I was told that the article could be had in New Brunswick.” “You are from Philadelphia, then ?” “Yes, do business there. You have most probably heard of our firm—Hyde, Cook, Sage, Donnelly & Cos.” “ I can’t say that I ever heard of that firm —but there appears to be a good many of you.” “ Oh, yes, it is a large house.” “How many lanterns do you want?” in quired old D s. “ Three hundred will do.” “ What do you pay a hundred ?” The Yankee stated a sum considerably ov er the marketable value of the article. “ Do you wish them delivered in Philadel phia ?” “No, I will attend to that.” “Add another dollar to the hundred, and I will furnish them to you,” said the sharper. “Agreed,” said the Yankee—“now when can you procure them ?” “ In two days.” “ All right—l must go some ten miles fur ther. I will pay you for them on my re turn.” After some further conversation about the size, make and quality of the article, all of which served to impress old D s with the legitimacy of the transaction, the Yankee returned to town, put on his old clothes, and otherwise altered his appearance, so that he was fully prepared to superintend the sale of his own lanterns when the old skinflint arriv ed. In due time old D s arrived at the tavern, and after much screwing, the bargain was struck—the money paid down, and the tin was delivered. A broad grin of .satisfaction might have been observed at that time on the face of six or eight of the by-standers, but nothing was said. The Yankee got a full price for his lanterns, pocketed his S2O and then started horn ward. Old D s waited all the next day, and the next day, and the following one, and two more, but the Philadelphia merchant came not. At length the lanterns grew hateful in the old man's, sight, and with a dozen round oaths, reflecting severely upon the mercantile community in general, the tin ware was put in the garret. The joke got wind, and soon every body knew it, and from that day forth, the old miser was known by the cognomen “old lantern.” Many years afterwards, the old man died, and the handbill that an nounced the sale of his effects, contained the following Nota Bene: “ Also at the same time and place, three hundred lanterns, almost as good as new, which will be sold at a bargain. A Novel Debut. —Cannon told a story of a manager at a country theatre, who, having given out the play of Douglas, found the whole entertainment nearly put to a stop by the arrest of “Young Norval,” as he was entering the theatre. In this dilemma, no other performer of the company being able to take the part, he dressed up a tall gawky lad, who snuffed the candles, in a plaid and phi labeg, and pushing him on the stage, advan ced himself to the foot-lights, with the book in his hand, and addressed the audience with Ladies and Gentlemen : This young gentleman’s name is Norval; On the Grampian hills Ilis father feeds his flocks, a frugal swain, Whose constant care was to increase his store. And keep liis only sou (this young gentleman) at home, For this young gentleman had heard, &c. And so through the whole play, much to the delectation of the audience. pi)Uo9opl)ti for tl)c people. A PATENT PEN-HOLDER FOR EN- 1 FEEBLED HANDS. Douglas Jerrold says: There is no physi- \ cal defect, great or little, that the inventive arts have not attempted, in some way or ano ther, to remedy. Time was when the blind, the deaf, the maimed, suffered their misfor tunes without the slightest alleviation from science or art; but now ‘we've changed all that,’ and in a way which Moliere himself, ; skeptic as he was to all medical power, must have admitted to be as marvellous as satis-1 factory. One of the latest inventions of this ( nature is Holtzapgel’s Pen-holder for enfee- ‘ bled hands, made for the use of those persons | who, from age, rheumatism, or other infirmi ty, are deprived of the free use of the fingers, so that they cannot hold a pen in the custom ary position The shaft of this pen-holder is made of strong silver or gold metal; at the bottom is a screw. The socket that receives the pen is joined to the holder at about the angle of forty-five degrees. The purpose of the screw at the bottom of the holder is to adapt the length of the vertical shaft to the projection of the pen. The lower extremity of the shaft is allowed to rest firmly upon the paper, and thereby support the hand. The pen itself is pressed on the paper from its socket, by a feeble spring, so as to assimilate, in the closest manner, to the action of the or dinary quill pen. The invention is a kind of ! pen-holder constructed to give support and 1 guidance to the hand while writing. The ar ticle is adapted to receive a steel or quill pen, and shuts up in a compact and elegant shape. I KYANIZING FENCING STUFF. j It has now become quite common to im j pregnate timber with some material or other, which will render it less liable to decay or rot. This process is called Kyanizing, from the inventor of the process, Mr. Kyan, of England. His method is to fill the pores of the wood with a solution of corrosive subli mate. This is an expensive article ; and oth ers, by experimenting, have found that this is not the only substance which will preserve timber, if the pores of the wood be filled with it. Many of the salts of iron, such as the sulphate, and nitrate of iron, are employed— and sulphate of copper, (the common blue vitriol,) is also much used for this purpose. The coal tar —which is bituminous liquor ob tained where coal is distilled for gas —is also found to be a cheap and efficient article for this purpose. With whatever substance the wood is filled, the process is called Kyanizing. Various methods of filling the wood are adopt ed. Some make large vats, and plunge the wood in, allowing it to absorb the liquor.— 1 This is a slow mode, as it takes considerable time to absorb enough of it. To hasten the process, it has been found useful to force the liquor in by pressure —either by pressure of machinery or hydrostatic pressure. | Atmospheric Phenomenon. —We have re ceived a letter from !3t. Petersburg, which | contains the following fact: “ When the cholera broke out here, the at mosphere was so charged that the electric machines would not emit any sparks, and a magnetic needle, which generally raises 12 pounds of iron, could with difficulty raise 4 pounds weight. To-day, the 13th, the at mosphere is so far improved, that the mag netic needle will raise 8 pounds weight.” Accounts from another quarter —namely, the official medical report —say that the chol era began to decline in the city on that day. — Lon. Lit. Gaz. 1 —i Salt for Milcii Cows. —When cows in ! milk are kept on green, succulent food, they require a regular and liberal supply of salt. So, also, when cattle are first turned to pas ture in the spring, they require salting more frequently than in the latter part of the sea son, w T hen the herbage is less succulent and | fresh. It is often the case that animals, tak en from dry food, and supplied exclusively with green fermentable herbage, are greatly I debilitated by “scours.” Salt, in due quan tity, is a certain preventive of this malady.— On first going to grass, cows should have one pint of Indian meal each per day, and this should be continued for a week or so, and then not stopped suddenly, but gradually. Secrets of Ventilation. —Let the air en j ter the house freely by a large aperture, like a common window, and capable of regulation in the same way. Let it enter a stove-room, and be there completely warmed; then let it pass freely through the whole house, and en i ter all the apartments either at the doors or by express channels. Take off the used air by the chimney and an open fire; or for crowds, provide larger and express openings —there is no more to be done. Houses that we have seen ventilated in this simple, un pretending, unmysterious manner, are the best ventilated we have ever entered. It is too often the fate of the mysterious little pipes, funnels, tubes and valves by which ventila tion is frequently symbolized, rather to indi cate ventilation than to effect it.—lllustra tions of the Theory of Ventilation. The great comet of 1556, known as Halley’s comet, and the most magnificent of the celestial rovers, has been expected to re turn this year; 292 years, the estimated time of its periodical revolution around the sun, haying elapsed since its last appearance.— Science has triumphed: for the comet wai actually observed on the 7th of August, at Altona, (near Hamburg.) by Dr. Peterson. It passed its perihelion during the last week in July, and is now approaching the earth, but will not come as near as it did in 1264. It will be seen, it is supposed, during the eve ning, in the North-East, not far from the con stellation of Castor and Pollux. Newspaper Analects. COINCIDENCES OF WORDS. Extraordinary coincidences of all kinds are amusing, and some hardly credible. Those who are to follow us will not believe that the conversion of Horatio Nelson into Honor est a Nilo was accidental. They will argue that either the Admiral constructed the name out of the proverb after the battle, and assumed it instead of his own, or else that the forma tion of the proverb made him fix his thoughts on attacking the French in Egypt. They will do any thing rather than admit what we know to be the fact. But there is another thing of the same kind, which is more com plicated. The words Princess Charlotte Au gusta of Wales were transformed, soon after she died, into P. C. Her august race is lost, 0 fatal news ! This is not true, but at the time when the unfortunate Princess died, it was very likely to be verified. It is accom plished only in the extinction of one line of the dynasty. Next to accidental play on words, come those which are constructed afore-thought. The celebrated Latin lines, which read backwards and forwards the same — Signa to signa; temere me tangis et angis: Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor, have never had any but a lame explanation of meaning. I propose that we, of the pre sent generation, shall palm them on posterity as having been spoken of by the present Pope of Rome, meaning that if they do not attend to their religious duties, and leave off tormenting him into changing his politics, Rome will soon be in a state of convulsion. VVhen first made, they were attributed to the devil, on account of the ingenuity of their construction. Under the genus of coincidences come translateable puns. But a great many of these arise from a legitimate similarity of metaphor. Such is Colman’s translation of Terence’s u Quidagitur—staturf into “What are you on ?—my legs.” The following is almost forgotten—that is, the English part only is remembered, though the Latin is the original. A person had received a present of fish from a prelate, but he expected wine with it; he says accordingly— Mittitur in disco xnihi niseis ab Archiepiseo fo non ponetur, quod Potus nonmiki detur, which was thus rendered into English— Jn a dish camo fish for the Archbish- Ilop shall not be here, for he sent me no beer. In the riddle books the point is spoilt by its being rendered “ Hop was not there, because,” &c. The wit, such as it is, consists in refu sing the poor prelate his hop, because he had not sent any beer. Jumble, qua jumble, is easily imitated. If I have not proved this already, let the follow i ing be both concluding and conclusive. In j some of the published song-books, called warblers, minstrels, &c., it may be suspected that some of the songs have been written down by the compiler from hearing them sung. I have met with rather an amusiug instance of this, as follows. There is a bal j lad beginning— Oh! bring me but my Arab steed, My prince defends his right. i A certain warbler’s book, published four J years ago, gives the second line thus :—• My princely Fremi's right. Os course it will strike every body that this “ princely Frenzi” must have put the author in a royal rage —or will do so, if he now sees it. 229