Newspaper Page Text
334
“ 1 must hit upon something, and get up a
•Jig}to momtrari somehow or another.”
At the next town from which they started,
his friend had a taste of his quality in that
line, for having procured a box of large black
wafers, lie had completely spotted the snowy
coat of the animal they were driving, after
the pattern of those wooden quadrupeds which
before the diffusion of useful knowledge, used
to form the study of childhood. The device
fully answered ‘its purpose, and the happy
pair drove off, attracting, throughout the re
mainder of the day, the gaze, wonder, and
unqualified admiration of Cadwailader and
ill his goats.”
A HOT DOSE.
You remember Jack O'Flaherty, the man
who said you wouldn't take him for an Irish
man to hear him spake.
Well, this same Jack has afforded such a
fund of amusement to several choice spirits
on L wharf in Boston, that your humble
servant, Bob, deems it expedient to chronicle
a few of the richest jokes wherein Jack has
been the sufferer.
Jack was passionately fond of smoking,
and was always in the habit of asking an in
dividual whom he saw enjoying the weed, if
he had any more of the same sort left] 1 ?
On one occasion in answer to-this question
he received a reply of k“ certainly, Jack, there
fs"one on the desk that you’re welcome to.”
Jack seized the delicious twist, (a huge re
galia, which had been heavily charged with
powder for his special benefit.) “A light,
if you please,” said he to the donor.
“ Don't bother me,” was the reply: “there’s
a man who will accommodate you,” pointing
to a full blown Emeralder who stood on the
pier with both aims banging comfortably over
a huge post, and enjoying the rays of the sun
and a short black pipe at the same time.—
Jack stepped briskly over, and the Emeralder
acceded to his request with a nod ; and with
out removing the pipe from his mouth, Jack
inserted the end of his cgiar into the bowl of
the pipe, (bringing the noses of the two smok
ers almost in contact,) and began to draw vig
orously to insure the desired result. Scarce
ly had* he commenced, ere an explosion took
place, which sent the pipe in one direction,
and the cigar in another, filling the olfactory
organs and eyes of the two worthies with any
quantity of gunpowder, smoke, and fragments
of tobacco. When the smoke blew aside, we
beheld Jack, and the accommodating Hiberni
an engaged in a regular set-to, each thinking
the other the aggressor. The roars of laugh
ter. however, undeceived Jack, who stepped
over with a bloody nose and savage demean
or to where we were standing; his eloquence
was soon hushed, however, by an individual
known as the Doctor, from the fact of his
keeping some stuff in the back part of his
store, which he sometimes served out on par
ticular occasions, to his particular friends in
small doses.
“ Step in here with me. Jack,” and the Doc
tor, v, r ith a mysterious wink, “step in here
and make k up with a glass of old brandy.”
Jack, nothing loth, accepted the invitation
and followed the Doctor; arrived at the place
of deposit; the Doctor poured out half a tum
bler full of the ruby liquid, and under pre
tence of adding a little sugar, he slily slipped
nearly half a handful of cayenne pepper
from a box near by into the tumbler.
“Drink quick, Jack, before theotherscome
back here,” said the Doctor, stirring the fiery
mixture and handing it to Jack, who quaffed
it off’ without taking breath. Scarcely had
he taken his lips from the tumbler, ere his
countenance began to undergo the most ludi
crous contortions.
“Wather, for the sake'o’ mercy! wather!”
gasped he, his mouth raw with the burning
draught.
Just at this moment one of the Doctor’s
friends happening accidentally to walk near
the two and seeing the bottle from which the
liquor had been poured standing on a barrel
in front of Jack, he exclaimed with an anxi
ous look:
“Why, Doctor, you didn’t let the man
drink from that bottle ?”
“Yes I did,” was the reply.
“ Then you’re a dead man V 1 said the oth
er, turning to Jack, “ for I prepared that bot
tle of poison to kill bed-bugs with.”
Jack turned ghastly pale; he gasped for
breath. “O murlher, I’m dead ! run for the
Doctor! O I’ll be dead afore you come back!
Holy mother of Moses, why did 1 taste the
dirty brandy! 0 the pison burns the inside
o’ me! For the love o’ heaven fetch a Doc
tor! I'm dying; Lord have mercy on my
soul!” and like exclamations did Jack pour
fort with astonishing rapidity.
“What's to be done for the poor man ! ”
said the Doctor.
“ I’ll run and gethim a dose of Tincture of
Hokeepokee,” said his friend, “it is ail
§©EDU*I2 g{& ffil ®A U H1F1? Hi ♦
that'll save his life ;” and away he went and
shortly returned with the Tincture of Hokee
pokee, as he called it, which was nothing more
or less than a Rochelle powder.
Almost every one knows or ought to know
that a Rochelle powder is put up in two pa
pers, one blue and one white, and it taking it
the contents of the blue paper are dissolved
in about a gill of pure water in one tumbler,
and that of the white paper in another; the
two are then poured together, when a lively
effervescence takes place, making a foaming
and sparkling drink..
Well, two tumblers were arranged, the
Rochelle powder dissolved in them, and Jack
was told to drink first one, and the other im
mediately after it. He followed these direc
tions implicitly, and the result was that the
two doses met midway in his throat: the ef
fervescence took place, and for a moment or
two he was a perfect living fountain; he lit
erally foamed at the moutb.
The bystanders could keep silent no longer
but gave vent to their feelings in a laugh,
long, loud and hearty. Jack started off’from
his persecutors without his hat, his hands
clasped over his abdominal regions, and his
hair streaming in the wind.
The next day, one of Jack’s friends seeing
him. enquired respecting the occurrence.
“0 bad luck to that scamp, the Doctor,”
said Jack, “he gave such red hot brandy it
set my insides afire, and whenl drank cowld
wather it boiled over!”
Newspaper Analects.
RICHELIEU AND THE FRENCH ARIS
TOCRACY.
It was an august and magnificent creation
the sovereignty of France, at the close of the
seventeenth century; —but it is with empires
as with palaces. We think too much of the
proprietor, and too little of the architect. —
When Louis XIV. exclaimed, “L’Etat e'est
moi,” we admire the great King, but forget
the greater Cardinal, who enabled him to say
it. We wonder at the majestic structure of
the edifice, but we forget the materials of
which it was composed. Let me pause fora
moment, to take them to pieces, and examine
them.
When Richelieu ordered the Constable de
Montmorenci, notwithstanding his name and
achievements, to be beheaded, —when De
Dassompiere, the companion-in-arms of Hen
ry IV., was dragged by his commands to the
Bastille, he was influenced by no capricious
or unneccessary cruelty. He was carrying
out, by determined means, a determined end.
Upon his attaining the ministry, he found the
king only the first of his nobles. He resolv
ed to make him something more. He under
took to concentrate all the power which he
saw dissipated among many great Feudator
ies and Lords. His first care was destruction
his second, centralization. His first object
was to break the cisterns into which the wa
ters had been gathered : his second to direct
and receive them in one fountain head. His
design was eminently successful it its two
fold scope. Enactments the most severe, con
fiscations the most sweeping, were levelled
at the chiefs of the Aristocracy. At the same
time, a legislation more subtle, and more fa
tal invaded its spirit. He fpunished duellists
with death. He encouraged marriages be
tween the higher and the middle classes. His
sfcter married a fluteplayer; hisniece aprince
of the blood. He filled the great offices of
state with men of the people and adventurers.
His policy was to confound and equalize all
classes below the king. But not satisfied to
dedicate his own life to this object he devolv
ed his power upon a successor whom he him
self had formed, who was instigated by the
same motives, and who, sprung like himself
from the democracy, inherited, with instinc
tive zeal, his hatred, and his views of Aristo
cracy. But the character of Mazarin was
less firm than that of Richelieu; it inspired
the great lords with hope,—he sought to gov
ern by dividing, rather than crushing them.
The Rebellion of the Fronde broke out. It
was the last effort of Feudalism to rise up
against the far-sighted Oppression which was
destroying it. And, at its close, amidst the
ruin and exhaustion of so many princely for
tunes, the decay and wreck of so many an
cient houses, there arose the strongest execu
tive that the world ever knew—the monar
chy of Louis XIV. Thus it was in the dem
olition of an Aristocracy that the foundation
of the Monarchy was laid.:— Hbn. Sidney
Smith.
“ You are more than half blue,” as the
humming bird observed to the violet.
“I hove a drop in my eye,” as the violet
replied.
THE SECRET OF CONTENTMENT.
One-half of the discontent in this world
comes from comparing our situations in life
with that ol others.
Tell us, *is it not so, dear Mis. Brown, ami
able as you are about most things, but never
theless, in a pout this morning because you
cannot get anew set of window curtains.—
Were not your’s quite nice enough before you
saw Mrs. Smith’s, and heard every body ad
mire them ? Now stop rolling the hem of
that neat gingham apron, and confess. Ah,
Turkey red and tamboured muslin, were quite
grand when first decided upon. Do you not
remember the profound satisfaction with
wliiqh that gift band was surveyed, and how
you arranged the folds over and over again
before they were looped back finally ? Fie
on you, pretty Mrs. Brown, to have forgotten
that glow of real pleasure so soon, and all be
cause Mrs. Smith—partnerof your husband’s
partner, Mr. Smith —sees fit to afford worsted
damask, suspended on heavy rods!
You sway backwards and forwards in that
comfortable rocking chair, and wonder what
made Mr. Brown so obstinate this morning.
You forget that he has five hundred or a
thousand dollars to raise between breakfast
and twelve o'clock. It's nothing to you that
he lost twice the amount by yesterday’s fail
ure, and that he has assured you that the
Smith’s were not laying up a dime.
“Mrs Smith has new window curtains?”
Now why not as well say, “ how much pret
tier mine are than those odious blinds of Mrs.
Johnson’s, or the shades that the Jones’ have
had at their windows ever since I visited
them. What things those shades are, a land
scape on one with blue trees, and red ground
and some ruin on the other with green pillars
and yellow’ moss, streaming down from the
top ! My ! I’d rather have no curtains at all
than such ones, if it wasn’t for the inconven
ience of curious neighbors !” Then go back
to the time when you lived in that little two
story’ house in street, and Mr. Brown
was just setting up for himself. You thought
plain w’hite muslin curtains very neat in those
day’s —are you any happier now than then ?
Don't you remember how pleasant it was just
at nightfall, when the tea-table was set in
the little back parlor, and the fire burned so
clearly—how y r ou looked out just before you
closed those curtains to see if Charles had
not come round the corner, and then when
he did come, how you listened with deepest
interest to his narative of the day’s success,
and his hopes for the future ?
Ah, we see you recollect it now. How
much the despised Turkey red has improved
by comparison. That’s right, my little lady,
stroke the folds down gently, and now away
to market, with a bright butter kettle and a
cheerful face !
It is no fancy sketch, dear reader, though
Mrs. Brown may be an ideal heroine. ThinK
for yourselves, how often comparison has had
the same effect. You have a thousand bles
sings as well as a few cares —if*you are not
as wealthy as your neighbor who drives his
carriage, you are at least far removed from
want. He may have his costly dessert and
rich wines, but there are many who never sit
down to so comfortable a dinner as that be
fore you. He may see his ships arrive and
depart, but there is a friend you have often
assisted, watching his little business decrease,
while yours is at least secure. You may sigh
for luxuries, but remember that many lack
the comforts of existence. It is no false phil
osophy that urges this upon you. It is the
secret of content which in itself is great gain.”
— Neal's Gazette.
HONEY MOON.
The origin of this word is so little known,
and yet so highly interresting, that we are
constrained to give an account of it. It is
traceable to a Teutonic origin. Among the
Teutonees was a favorite drink called metheg
lin. It was made of honey, and mueh like
the present mead of the same name in Euro
pean countries. The same beverage was in
use among the Saxons, as well as another
called morat, which was also made of honey,
but flavored with mulberries. These honey
ed drinks were used in great abundance at
festivals. Among the nobility, the marriage
was celebrated a whole lunar month, which
was called a moon, during which the festival
board w r as well supplied with the honey
drink. Hence this month of festival was
called the honey moon, or honey month which
means a month ot festival. The famous Al
aric is said to have died on his wedding night
from the effects of too much indulgence in
methegliiu
J“Brass at both ends,” said a- lady
pointing to. a Chestnut street dandy with brass
heels on his boots.
EDITOR’S DEPARTMENT.
ATHENS: SATHiDAV. MARCH 3. i 84 ;,.
BROS V ECTU 8
OF—
RICHARDS’ WEEKLY GAZETTE:
TAKING anew and much enlarged series of the
“ Southern Literary Gazette,’’’-the only week
ly Journal, South of the Potomac, devoted to j *,’
erature and the Arts in general-and desiimed f, ’
the Family Circle. c 1
The Proprietor begs leave to announce that
Saturday, the sth of May, he will issue the first num
her, for the second year, of this popular and well &
tablished paper—the name and form of which I H .
has changed, to enlarge the scope of its
j and to otherwise increase its attractions,
i Less exclusively devoted, than heretofore, to
LITERATURE, THE ARTS, AND THE SCIENCES,
) it will be the aim of its Proprietor to make it i n
■ every respect,
A CHOICE FAMILY NEWSPAPER j
{ “ as cheap as the cheapest, and as good as the best.”
Utterly discarding the notion that a Southern Jour
nal cannot compete with the Northern Weeklies in
cheapness and interest,
RICHARDS’ WEEKLY GAZETTE
shall bo equal, in mechanical execution, to any of
them, and, in the variety, freshness and value of its
contents, second to none. Its field will be the
world, and it will contain, in its ample folds,
EVERY SPECIES OK POPULAR INFORMATION.
Especial attention will be paid to the subject of
SCHOLASTIC AND DOMESTIC EDUCATION.
Numerous articles, original and selected, from the
best sources, will be published weekly, on
AGRICULTURE AND HORTICULTURE,
and these departments, as, indeed, all others, will be
frequently
ILLUSTRATED BY FINE WOOD-CUTS.
Every number will contain careful and copious sum
maries of the latest
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC NEWS,
: in Commercial, Civil, Political, and Ecclesiastical
! Affairs. At the same time, there shall be
in its columns that can be considered either Partizan
or Sectarian.
i
A CORPS OF CORRESPONDENTS
: will contribute—some regular, and others occasion-
I al—Letters from the Northern Cities, and from va
| rious parts of Europe.
In the first number will be commenced the pulli
j cation of
1 MRS. CAROLINE LEE HENTz's PRIZE TALE,
entitled “Percy, or the Banished 8on:” and, at
i the same time, will appear, entire,
A BEAUTIFUL SOUTHERN POEM,
j
entitled “ Wachulluh,” for which the Prize ot
Twenty Dollars was awarded to Mrs. C. W. Du-
Cose, of Sparta —tlic Leila Canjeron of the Gazette.
Subsequently, the second Prize Tale and Poem will
! appear, with many choice articles offered in compe
; tition for the prizes, and commended by the Com
mittee of Award.
The following distinguished writers will contrfV
j ute to the Journal:
Wvn. Gilmore Simms, LL. I).,
Hon. Robert M. Charlton,
J. M. Legate,
T. Addison Richards, Esq.,
Charles Lanman, Esq.,
Hon. B. F. Porter,
Mrs. Caroline Lee Hentz,
Mrs. Joseph C. JYeat,
Mrs. E. F. Ellett,
Miss Mary E. Lee, .
Mrs. Caroline Howard,
Mrs. C. W. Du Bose,
Miss C. W. Barber,
besides many others, whose names are highly e*
teemed in the “World of Letters.”
TERMS:
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Os three supplied for ------ $5 00
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cash, and should be addressed, post-paid, to
WM. C. RICHARDS,
Athbns, Ga-
Individuals, or Clubs, forwarding their sub
script ions at once, shall receive the Southern Lite*-
ary Gazette to the end of the first volume, in flddi
tion to a full year of “ Richards’ Weekly Gazette,
so that they can secure a weekly paper during f°* r
teen months for two dollars !
N. B.—Editors who will copy, or notice fully*
this Prospectus, shall receive the Gazette regularly*
and also a beautiful Juvenile Magazine, enlit
“ The Schoolfellow.”
March 3d, 184.