Newspaper Page Text
hand into the coarse bagging tick. Squash
if he habn't tho 1 said he, as he pulled forth
a partly picked rooster. “1 tole de stuped
jack-behind dis morn', when he was feather
in’ chick’ns for dinner to empty de feathers
in de fuss class beds to prove de kerwalty;
and de blind nigger oberlook de chick’n! In
de hurry oh business, massa,” he continued
in an apologetic tone, ‘‘dese little accidums
can’t always be avided. We have a dozen
niggers trimmin’ chick’nsall de time, and ‘ca
sionally a foot or head am oberlooked in de
fedders when we put um ’way in de beds,
but dis ’ere are de fust time I ever found a
hull chick'n!”
ANECDOTE.
While our goodly city was in possession
of the British during the war of the revolu
tion, an English officer of rank gave an en
tertainment, to which several American offi
cers who were prisoners were invited. Among
them was a Captain , distinguished as
a brave officer, but uncouth in his manners,
little conversant, with the refinements of so
ciety, and not much given to any set phrase
of speech. The English officer, who was
the host on the festive occasion to which we
allude, had two daughters—one of them dis
tinguished for beauty, and a great belle; the
other was remarkably plain by reason of a
defect in one of her eyes. After the removal
of the cloth, many sentiments were drunk,
and among them several highly complimenta
ry to the beautiful daughter of mine host.—
Captain , with that devotion for the
sex which a brave man ever entertains, feel
ing that the other daughter had been neglect
ed, when called on by the host gave as his
sentiment:
“Your daughter, sir!”
“ Which one, sir ?•” asked the hospitable
entertainer.
“The cock eyed one, sir,” responded the
well meaning but plain spoken Captain.
SAM SLICK ON FASHIONABLE MU
SIC. • . ..
Well, that’s artificial, too —it’s scientific—
they say it’s done by rule. Just look pt that
ar’gal at the pianny! Gosh tew snakes!— (
First comes a little German thunder; good
airth and seas, what a crash ! It seems as if
she’d bang the instrument tew slivers! I ra
ther guess she’s vexed at somebody, and is
pegging it into the pianny just out o’ spite.
\ow comes singing; see what faces she
makes, how she stretches her mouth open
like a barn-door, and turns up the white of
her eyes like a duck in thunder. She’s in a
musical ecstacy, is that gal: she feels good
all over ; her soul is goin’ out along o’ that
music. Oh, it's divine, and she’s an angel,
aint she I Yes, I guess she is—and when 1
am an angel, I’ll fall in love with her; but as
lam a man, at least what’s left of me, I’d
jist as soon fall in love with one that’s a
leetle, jist a leetle more of a woman, and a
leetle, jist a leetle less of an angel.
But hallo! what under the sun is she
about ? Why, her voice is going down her
throat, to gain strength, and here it comes out
as deep toned as a man’s, while that fellow
alongside her is singing what they call fal
setter. They’ve actually changed voices!
’The gal sings like a man, and that screamer
like a woman. This is science; this is taste:
this is fashion ; but hang me it it's natur’.
AN ffiRESISTABLE ARGUMENT.
The following is a specimen of Western
eloquence and jurisprudence. Here in the
East, the gentlemen of the green bag offer
judges pretty much the same incense, but
never present the whiskey openly :
“Judge.” said the counsel for the defend
ant, “your time, I know, is precious, as must
be the case with so able and valued a mem
ber of society. This case is perfectly clear,
and I know your learning and lucid intelli
gence has pierced through it at the first
glance. For me to argue, would not only be
a waste of time, but an insult to your pene
tration. Much might be said, but nothing is
needed. Before any other Judge I might lay
down the law, but here 1 know it has been
studied and wisely understood. In looking
around me, I behold an humble house of logs,
yet see before me the spirit of truth, the un
purchased distributor of law, and the old
tenement risesbefore my mental vision proud
and beautiful as a majestic temple to justice.
Judge, I have a bottle of old prime Monon
gahela in my pocket: for the respect I bear
your character, allow me to make you a pre
sent of it.”
“ Verdict for the defendant said the
Judge.
MiinaisM Ob nins &aia ¥
* MBS. PARTINGTON’S LAST.
“ A nave in our church!” screamed Mrs.
Partington, as her eye rested on a description
of the new edifice, and the offensive word
struck terror to her soul; “a nave in our
church! who can it be 1 Dear me, and they
have been so careful, too, who they took in,
exercising ’em aforehand, and putting ‘em
through the catechis and the lethargy, and
pounding ’em into a state of grace ! Who
can it be ]” And the spectacles expressed
anxiety. “I believe it must be slander arter
all. Oh, what a terrible thing it is to pizen
the peace of a neighborhood, by deterotating,
and backbiting, and lying about people, when
the blessed truth is full bad enough about the
best of us.” What a lesson is here for the
mischief-maker tb ponder upon I Truth lent
dignity to her words, and gave abeam to her
countenance, reminding one somewhat of a
sunset in the fall on a used-up landscape.
Mrs. Partington never spoke to “Bemis” in
her life—our word for it.— Boston Post.
pi)ilosci)jl)t) for tljc People.
HOW TO TREAT A WATCH.
First, wind your watch as nearly as possi
ble at the same time every day. Secondly,
be careful that your key is in good condition,
as there is much danger of injuring the ma
chine when the key is worn or cracked; there
are more mainsprings and chains broken
through a jerk in winding, than from “any
other cause, which injury will, sooner or
later, be the result if the key is in bad order.
Thirdly, as all metals contract by cold and
expand by heat, it must be manifest, that, to
keep the watch as nearly as possible at one
temperature, is a necessary piece of attention.
Fourthly, keep the watch as constantly as
possible in one position, that is, if it hangs
by day let it hang; by night, against some
thing that is soft. Fifthly—the hands of a
pocket cronometer or duplex watch should
never be set backwards; in other watches
this.is a matter of no consequence. Sixthly
—the glass should never be opened in watches
that set and regulate at the back. One or
two directions more, it is of vital importance
that you bear in mind. On regulating a
watch, should it be going fast, move the reg
ulator a trille towards the slow, and if going
slow do the reverse ; you cannot move the
regulator too gently at a time, and the only
inconvenience that can arise is, that you may
have to perform the duty more than once. —
Edward Grafton on Horologe .
NEW MELTING PROCESS.
A gentleman in the upper part of N. York
city, says the Advertiser, seeing the notice
that salt put upon the ice on the side-walks
would rapidly melt it, resolved to rid himself
■ of the annoyance in front of his own dwell
ing. On reaching home in the evening, af
ter dark, he entered his store-room, took a
peck measure, and filled it with what he sup
posed to be finish granular fragments of
genuine salt, and without saying anything to
the dwellers in the house, slipped out of the
area and scattered it freely on the walk,over
an extent of ice of some two hundred feet.—
He retired to rest in excellent humor with
himself, calculating the agreeable surprise
awaiting the family and domestics when they
discovered that the ice was entirely gone
from the walk and steps. Judge then of his
surprise on being told by one of the domestics
almost as soon as he got down stairs in the
morning, that “ sdhhne mischevious person had
been sprinkling rice all over the door step
and the side-walk,” coupled with the domes
tic’s sagacious remark, that “she only wish
ed the policemen had caught the rascal.” —
The gentleman made no reply, but he came
down to business rather earlier than usual
that morning, and his family remarked that
that he must have something on his mmd ,
he was so unusually silent at the breakfast
table.
Keeping Apples. —Mr. Pell, of Ulster
county, the celebrated exporter of apples to
Europe, recommends that apples after having
been carefully hand picked in baskets, should
be laid on the floor by hand, without pouring
them from the baskets, until they are 12 or
18 inches deep, and be left to dry and season
three weeks; when again equally carefully
packed in clean dry barrels, they may be
kept without rotting, any reasonable length
of time, and safely sent to any part of Eu
rope or the West Indies.
When a young man has acquired the
habit of reading,Tie has become possessed of
one of the best preventives against vice.
Saloon Railroad Carriages; —The En
glish Mining Journal, describes anew kind
of a railroad carriage whieh has iccently been
placed on the London and Brighton road. In
stead of having three compartments 4 seating
from three to six persons each, as in the or
dinary first class carriage, it has only two ;
which by an ingenuous mechanical contri
vance, may readily be thrown into one ele
gant saloon. They are also fitted up at the
end and sides with sofas for general use and
the conveniance of invalids, and may be con
verted into bed-carriages, if required.
Fried Potatoes.— -The French cooks at
the large hotels are making this dish very
fashionable. The potatoesare peeled, wiped,
and cut into thin slices, then thrown into a
frying pan containing an abundance of hot
lard : as soon as they become brown and
crisp, they are thrown into a cullender to
drain, and then sprinkled with salt, and serv
ed up as hot as possible. It is used as a
breakfast dish.
It is stated that if a horse he shut up
in a pasture where there is no water, he will
at certain times of the day, makeita practice
to stand in those situations where water is
nearest the surface, and thus indicate the best
place for digging for it. Those who allege
this to be the fact, say that horses have the
faculty of smelling the water, like the camel
of the African desert, or the camel of the
South American “pampas.”
Jmtispapcr Analects.
HISTORY OF CALIFORNIA.
The wonderful discoveries in Upper Cali
fornia have brought old geographies and his
tories in requisition. Rival claims to the
original discovery of that country spring up,
and anew honor attaches to the daring ad
venturer who first pushed his way up the
Pacific coast. Sir Francis Drake, it is con
tended, was the first discoverer, and that Port
San Fancisco, likely to become as immortal
as the gates of Thebes, takes its name from
him. Drake undoubtedly discovered, in 1578,
Upper California, which, in the map of Dev
lin and Bohun’s Geography, published in
London in 1803, was supposed by him, and
the geographer who chronicles his discovery,
to be an island. But at ail earlier period,
1535, California was discovered by the Span
iards under Mendoza, and Father Kano, a
learned Spanish Jesuit, proves his better
claim to the discovery of California than
Drake, even without priority of date, from
his settling that California was a peninsula
and not an island, as the English geograph
ers, upon Drake’s and other testimony have
it.
Forty-three years after the Spanish discov
ery, Drake landed at the port, now San Fran
cisco, and took possession of California in the
name of Queen Elizabeth, calling it New
Britain. Drake did not go above 37 North
latitude. According to Hevlin & Bohun, the
Californians, at the time of Drake’s landing,
lived very much after the manner of Tartars,
removing from one place to another under
chiefs, like the ancient Nomades. “ Being
near neighbors to Tartary,” says the histo
rian, “it is supposed that the inhabitants first
came, and from hence by degrees peopled all
America.” “ I have,” says the geographer,
“ set down the opinion of a Russ commander,
that Tarlary afforded the stock that peopled
America. The farther one goes north,” con
tinues he, “ the more the Indians resemble
the Samoied Tartars in language, religion,
clothing and manner of living, and among
them are man-eaters, as the Samoieds were
about 1550, though.” as is added, “they have
since been much civilized by the Russ.”
Hevlin describes the country as abounding
in cattle, buffalo, horses, and other nnimals,
whose flesh and skins were used in traffic. —
He also hints that trade has existed between
California and Cathay and China, from the
fact that when Vasquez conquered it, “he
saw in the farther sea certain ships well
laden, which could not be conjectured to come
from any country but these two.’* It is by
no means improbable that intercourse was
had between Western America and Asia.—
The inhabitants of California are described
as warlike, and fighting the Spaniards under
Vasquez with great, though exceedingly rude
valor-
Whcn Mendoza pushed the Spanish dis
covery into California, he was everywhere
met with stories of the wonderful wealth of
a bearded man who reigned inland in those
parts, of white complexion, and who, in his
chapel, whorshipped a cross and the Queen
of heaven. The Spaniards never found the
rich bearded man, though they searched long,
and many holy friars were killed, and it is
probable these stories were invented to keep
the Spaniards from finding treasures else
where. The climate of California it describ
ed as temperate. There must be a little ex
aggeration in the historian’s account of lions
and tigers in those regions. The people are
represented as finely formed and supple.
Friar Marco de Nisa, who wrote an ac
count of Mendoza’s discoveries, alludes to
gold being found in abundance in a portion
of California, and he names a series of lakes
“ Laques del Oro,” or Lakes of Gold, The
Gila, whicty is the boundary of our new ter
ritories, was discovered in 1620. Upper
California, or Drake’s New Albion, was con
sidered vastly more important than the pen
insula California, both for its extent, pro
ductions and mineral treasures. In conclud
ing his account of California the historian
leaves it to “ future brave and noble adven
turers,” to decide more particularly as to the
value of those regions. Those adventurers,
of the real Saxon stock, are now rendering
their decision—they are washing gold from
the sands of the “ Laques del Oro,” and have
found the rich bearded man. To the Span
iards, however, must be given the credit of
the first discovery of California. The bay of
San Francisco took its name from the Fra/n
----ciscans, instead of from Sir Francis Drake,
and Drake himself was no better than a pirate
robbing the Spaniards of their hard and ad
venturously earned wealth on the shores of
the Pacific.
VOICE OF WISDOM AND AGE.
“ Permit me finally to add, that, in my ap
prehension, the best way to he useful and
happy in this life, is to cultivate the domes
tic affections —to love home—and, at the
same time, to exercise a benevolent disposi
tion towards others—to he temperate and
just—to pursue lawful business, whatever it
may he, with diligence, firmness and integrity
of purpose, and in the perfect belief that hon
esty is equally binding in the discharge of
public as of private trusts; for, when public
morals are destroyed, public liberty cannot
survive.
If we are aspiring, we ought not to lose
our diffidence ; and if ardent for reforms, we
ought not to lose our discretion. We ought
to listen to the maxims of experience, and re
spect the advice and institutions of our an
cestors ; and, above all, we ought to have a
constant and abiding sense of the superin
tending goodness of that Almighty Being,
whose wisdom shines equally in His works
and in His word, and whose presence is eve-.’
rv where sustaining and governing the uni
verse.”—Chancellor Kent.
HOOKED DP.
An odd incident is said to have occurred
near that headquarters of odd incidents, Pa
ris, in consequence of a balloon starting on
its own hook, without the consent of the pro
prietor. A large concourse of people had
assembled to see an aeronaut take flight for
the regions of the upper air; but unfortu
nately, before he took his seat in the car, the
a'rostat got loose, and the grapling-hook,
which was dangling from the machine, hitch
ed into the indescribabies of a boy, who was
gazing open-mouthed at the ascending mass,
and carried him up willy-nilly. The wo
men, as a matter of course, screamed and
fainted; but the lad, who seemed to have
been a hero in his way, clasped the rope
tightly with his hands and feet, and, with aa
awful rent in his aforesaids, was introduced
by his inflated companion into the upper cir
cles. After a short voyage, the balloon de
scended and deposited the little fellow safe
and sound on terra firma.
TO NEWSPAPER READERS.
How to Take a Paper.— Be sure to pay
in advance, and thus have the privilege of
reading your own paper, instead of the Pub
lishers'. If you change your residence, in
from the publishers immediately, stating your
name, the town you move from, andthetown
you move to.
How to Stop a Paper. —The only hon
est way to stop a paper, when not wanted, i*
to pay into the hands of the Postmaster
whatever you owe for it, if it be only for tvro
numbers, and see that the Postmaster writ*
an order to have the same stopped. There is
no use in sending to the publishers letter* or
papers, with postage unpaid. If you fail to
do this, do not complain if the publishers con*
tinue to send the paper.
SINGULAR SUPERSTITION*
A notion is is prevalent among the vulgar
in some countries of Europe, that the wish
of a person will be accomplished, if he can
359