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About The News and farmer. (Louisville, Ga.) 1875-1967 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 17, 1876)
YOL. YI THE NEWS & FARMER. ROBERTS & BOYD. a * .W r Published Fury Thursday Morning AT rUISVILLE. GEORGIA 1 - PRICE OF SUBSCRIPTION IN ADVANCE. One copy one year $2.00 - •• “ e ix months 1.00 •• “ three months ' 50 For a Club of FIVE or more we will make a reduction of 25 per cent. ADVERTISING RATES Transient Advertisements, One dollar pe square (ten lines o( this typo or ouo inch) foi the first insertion and 75 cents for each snbser duent insertion. A liberal deduction made on advertisements running over one month. Local notices will be charged Fifteen cents per line each insertion. go au bills for advertising due at any time after the first insertion and will be presented at the pleasure of the Proprietors, except by special arrangement V LEGAL ADVERTISING Ordinary’s Citations for Letters of Administra tion, Guardianship &c $5 00 Application for dism’n from adm’n C 00 Homestead notice 3 00 Application for dism’n from guard’u 5 00 Application for leavo to sell 1and....... 5 00 Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4 00 Sales of Land , per square of ten lines 5 00 Sales of personal per sqr., ten days 2 00 iShcnff's —Each levy of lev lines, 5 00 Mortgage sales of ten lines or less 5 00 Tax Collector’s sales, per sqr., (3 montlislO 00 Clerk's —Foreclosure of mortgage and ether monthly’s per square 4 00 > Estrav notices tblrtY days 5 00 CENTRAL RAILROAD. ON and after SUNDAY tlio 20th June, tin Passenger trains on (lie Georgia Central Railroad, its branches and connections will run as follows* Leave Savannah r.. 9;15 a in Leave Augnsiu 9:05 p ni Arrive m Augusta 4:00 p m Arrive in Macon .. (5:45 p in Leave Macon tor ColunA‘v ....... 8:15 p ni /iXi;ayfl Mason lor . ..... v 9;JO am Leave Macon for Atlanta.... WR p in Arrive at Columbus 1:45 a in Arrive at Eufaula 0:17 p m Arrive at A'lanta 5:02 am Leave Atlanta ..10:40 p n> Lavc Eufaula ............... 8:22 a in Leave Columbus ... •• I*slo p m Arrive at Macon from Atlanta *5:40 p in Arrive at Macon from Kutaula 5:15 p m Arrive at Macon from Columbus (5:55 p m Leao Macon 7;00 a m Arrive at Augusta 4;00 p ni Arrive at Savannah 5:25 pm Connects daily at Gordon with Trains to and from Savannah and Augusta. JJi-ofCBBf omrl (ffarTfs. R. L. GAMBLE, JR. ATTORNEY AT LAW. ILouCsbflle, <Ga. January G ly. ~T. . Cain. J.*i. Poihili " CAIN & POLIIILL. ATTORNEYS AT LAW LOUISVILLE, GA. May 5, 1871. ly C. B. KELLEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW SWAIN SB ORO, GA. EMANiUIEIL ©©WOT. + Will practice in the Supreme Courts t of the State, and the Superior Courts of the following counties: Emanuel, Johnson, Montgomery, Tattnal, Jefferson, H Special attention given to the collec tion of claims. DR E E. PARSONS DEN T X S T Louisville, Ga. Will bo in Louitvillo tho third week in each month. iy Orders left at the Central Hotel promptly \ Attended to. feb 24-ly. HOTELS. CE TRAL HOTEL. 10 UISVILLE, GA. Mrs. A. M. Kirkland, Proprietress. Board, $2.00 Per Day. Lanier House, Mulberry Street, MACON GEORGIA B. M\ Proprietor Free Omnibus fren. and to the Depot PALMER HOUSE 200 Broad St., Augustai Ga., Board $2 00 Per Day * Single Meals 50 Cents. Mrs. S. J. PALMER, Proprietress. n t D. STANLEY, €l?rk t MARSHAL HOUSE, savannah, ga. A. B. LUGE—Proprietor. BOARD PER DAY $3,00 ~B u7RICHARDSON & CO.^ Publishers’ Agents, 111 BAY STREET, SAVANNAH, GA. Are authorized to contract for advertising for our paper MUSIC! MUSIC !!~ The Louisville Cornet Ban and isnow prepared to make engagements to play at Excursions Fairs, Picnics and entertainments of any kind during the present season, on very reasonable onus. Address, F. H. ROBERSON, Leader. Louisville, Ga., April 27, '7G. JAMES S. SILVA. ROCKERY, CHINA, GLASS-WARS, L&.HPS, AND House Furnishing Goods Has removed to E D Smyth’s old stand, I*2 Congress and 141 Si Julian St?., SAVANNAH GEORGIA. Orders careful packed and promptly ship ped. seJO 3m wmh MUM IL©TTl!i*¥. The Great Ceuiennial lirawing. OF THE YEAR WILL TAKE PLACE APRIL 24, 7G. This will boa history unparalleled in the history of tho world. Just iliiuk of it, $2 250,000 in Prizes, AND ONLY 15,000 TICKETS 1 PRIZE of- • - • $1,000,000 1 prize of-- - - $500,000 1 prize of-- - - SIOO,OOO 1 prize of-- - - $50,000 3 prizes of -- $25,000 $75,000 3 prizes of -- SIO,OOO $30,000 3 prizes of • - $5,000 $15,000 102 prizes of • • SI,OOO $102,000 756 prizes of - • SSOO $378,000 Whole amount drawn, $2,250,000 .PRICE 0? TICKETS IN CURRENCY: Whole tickets, $200; Halves, $100; Quarters, SSO; Fifths, S4O; Tenths, $20.; Twentieths, $lO. Prizes cashed, Circuiars sent free. High est price paid for Spanish Bank Bills, Gov ernments, &c. To prevent Loss by Mail, remit Ilogistered letter, Post Otlice order, Draft on New York, or by Express. Address all order to TAYLOR & C ~ Bankers, I’. O. Box 4418. 11 Wall Street Now York ONE DOLLAR WILL GET THE Weekly Constitution POSTAGE FREE, TILL January Ist 1877. It is the Leading Paper of tlio South. Rod hot Presidential and Uupernatorial Campaigns opening. Every Georgian should take the • PEOPLE’S PAPER." Several Serial Sto ries, by distinguished authors, running all the time. LFThc getter up of A CLUIS OF TEN will receive the PAPER FKEE.^J Daily, $lO 00 per annum; $5 00 for 0 months; 65 for 0 months. Send your subscription for this great Political and Family Journal, Published at the Capital* W. A. HEMPHILL &. CO; Publishers, Atlanta, Georgia. April 27 1876.—tf. STEAM, WATER AND GAS WORKS. C-A. ROBBE, AUGUSTA, GA. BRACTICAL WCRKMAN and Deal -4 er in Pumps cf many styles, Hy draulic Ilains, Stem and Water Guag es, and all kind o' material for Gas or \yater. Agent fr the Springfield Gai Machine, Let Tel Turbine JFater IFliccl, I£n#wles Steam Pumps, THE NEWS AND FARMER. M LOUISVILLE. JEFFERSON COUNTY. GA., AUGUST 17, 1876. 'floetrii. “NOW I LAY ME DOWN -TO SLEEP.” BY BEQUEST It is said of the lato John Quincy Adams that he never went to bed with out repeating this little prayer, the first taught him dy his mother whoso mem ory was so dear to him to the last. There are two little poems descrip tive of a child saying this prayer, that are among the teuderest in onr language, and wo give one ofthem. This is from Put mm,'a Magazine into Scribner's Monthly: Golden head, so lowly bending, Little feet so white and bare, Dewy eyes, half shut, half opened, Lisping out her evening prayer. Well she knows when she is saying. “Now I lay me down to sleep,” ’Tis to God that she is praying, Praying him her soul to keep. 1 Half asleep, and murmuring faintly, “If I should die before I wake”— Tiny fingers clasp so saintly— “l pray the Lord my soul to take.” O, the rapture, sweet, unbroken. Of the soul what wrote that prayer! Children’s myriad voices floating Up to heaven, record it there. If of all that has been written, I could choose what might be mine, It should be that child’s petition, Rising tothe throne divine. GOOD NIGHT. Good-night! I have tA say good-night To such a host of peerless thihgs : Good-night unto that fragile hand All queenly with its weight of rings ; Good-night to fond, uplifted eyes, Good-night to chesnut braids of hair, Good.night unto the perfect mouth, And all tho sweets that nestle there— The snowy hand detains me then I'll liave to say good-night again. But there will come a time, my love, When, if I read our stars aright, I shall not linger by this porch With my adieus. Till then, good night ! You wish the lime were now? And I- You do not blush* to wish it so? r < You would have blushed yourself to death To own as much a year ago— What, both the snowy hands! ah then I’ll have to say good-night again. AGRICULTURAL. [communicated.] FERTILIZERS. Tho subject of this essay is one of gigantic dimensions; a subject upon which probably as many essays have been written, and as many speeches delivered, as any topic of the age. Though it has been written and spoken of so often, its value has never been realized, or if realized never apprecia ted as it should be by farmers who have to get our bread out of poor laud. But in the beginning, of this essay, let us understahd that by fertilizers we do not mean commercial fertilizers alto gether, for tiiis is by far too extensive ly used now. Too many farmers have been driven to bankruptcy by the im position of nefarious articles called commercial fertilizers. In many cases has tlie dirt of some cellar, or river bottom, been well ventilated with some obnoxious odor and sold as the best fertilizer in the market; and in many cases, though this preparation is man ufactured at a very trifling cost, it is sold at the most exorbitant prices. For this very article some of us are willing, and have done it, bonnd our selves, not only in honor, but by the strongest articles of writing, placing at the disposal of the parties selling this so-called commercial fertilizer ail tho proceeds of our crops, together with our stock, etc., and some go so far as to give mortgages o.n their land for the payment of this fertilizer; and shameful to tell in many instances has this nefarious stuff failed to be of the least advantage to the purchaser. What is the consequence? They are robbed of their land, the only source from which to obtain bread and cloth ing for a loving wife and precious lit tle ones. His all is swept from under him, and ho left desolato and homeless. This is one grand cause of there being so many vagrants in the country. If the farmor had been allowed to keep his land, he would have had employ ment Dot only for himself, but could have given many others profitable em ployment. Whereas, the laud having fallen into the hands of guano venders, who, as a majority, know nothing of the country, much less cultivating the soil, cannot make it profitable to him self, but loaves it to the care of a worth loss set of negroes, whose highest am bition is to pillage and steal from his neighbor what he has gained by hon est labor, add are always glad to have such a place, free from the eye of a whito man, where they deposit all their illgotton gains. Wo are sorry to know that so many 1 armers have been so il literate as to be led on from year to year in this cut-throat channel. Many evils of our land can bo traced back to the too free U3C of commercial fertili- zers, especially wgien bought on time. Many are the poor farmers who have been made to spend’-sleepless nights beftause he knew he had something buried beneath his crop which would have to bo paid for whether profitable or unprofitable. Hlany liave we seen wearing long faces and going with drooped heads in the month of June. And learn the cattle if you will, and it will be that the "grass is about to get away with his crap, and the abomina ble free negro ciinot be induced to work as he slioulcfc ll< looks ahead at the consequence, which the freedmau never does, and Jie sce3 bankruptcy staring him in the,face. The question tori! -would naturally arise, What are we "to do—those of us who have poor laud that will not pay to cultivate without assistance? To this we would answer, Fertilize your lapd. Assist it, of course. You can do it. By no means would we have you go to the expense of cultivating land that you know the proceeds of will not pay you for half the labor that it requires to cultivate it. Never cul tivate land without you have it in such condition that you are sure the pro ceeds will pay you at least ten per cent, on your labor, for cultivating, housiug, etc. This can be, and is done in many places, and why cannot we do the same. I say we can, and that with out commercial fertilizers, as they are called, (but more properly called farm drainers.) We can make our own for tilizers. It is true we cannot make enough at first to fertilize a great deal, but if we cannot fertilize much, why don’t plant much. Most of our farms are too large, anyway. One acre, man aged as it should be will make more than any two we cultivate. ■ If we are running a two-horse farm, and have not labor sufficient to make fertilizers for a two-horse farm, lot us sell one of our horses and run one, putting our extra, labor to improving our land. This will pay much better than running a two horse crop on land that cannot at its best more than pay you for the labo: of cultivating, housing, etc. It rill pay better than buying commercial fer tilizers at the exorbitant prices now asked for them. Do not here under stand me to soy no commercial fertili zers will pay. But I say it will not— no, the best of it will not —when bought at present prices. Instead of getting better oil' by using it, we are getting poorer and poorer, but after having settled all pur indebtedness and bought what our 'families will neces sarily need during the year, if wo have any cash on hand and nothing else to do with it, why then buy some fertili zer, or chemicals, to increase the value of your home-made fertilizer. If the farmers will adopt this plan, they can be an independent people Otherwise we are nothing more than slaves to guano venders and commission mer chants. They will eventually own our lands, and hire us at starvation prices to cultivate them and carry them the produce. Let each and all of us then resolve to stop this cut-tbroat business. Let us haul more litter into our lots, keep our stables and cow-lots well filled with it. Let us give more thought and attention to making our fertilizers at home. It is no hard job, once we get at it. We have plenty of material at our doors to work upon. 1 Why we have here in our natural forest fertilizers far Superior to some we buy. If it was not for our use, what was it put there for? It would seem strange that an allwise Provi dence should ordain that wo should de pend upon the land across the seas to furnish us with substance with which to enrich our land. Did you ever think of that? This I do not believe is the case. We have the substance here, and it is our short sightodness that causes us not to use it. God has placed at our hand everything necessary for our welfare, and if wo do not hunt them out and appropriate them to our use, it is our fault. I cannot think it ever was intended that we should have fer tilizers from across the great waters to enrich our soil, when we have an abun dance of material that will answer tlie same purpose. Allow mo to close by saying, that by economy and close at tention to business, wo can yet over come tho great evil wo have unguarded ly foil into. Let us then put mir shoul ders to the wheel, and with unity soo what wo can do. A FTER-MAhTiAGMIL OS O MY. "You love me no longer,” said a .bride of a few months to her better half in his gown and slippers. “Why do you say tflat, Puss?” lie asked, quietly removing a cigar from his lips. “ Tou do not caress me, nor call mo pet names; you no longer seek so anxiously for my company,” was the tearful auswer. “My dear,” continued the aggrava ting wretch, “did you over notice a man running after a car? How he does run 1 over stones, through mud, regardless of every thing till he reaches the car and ho seizes hold and swings on. Then he quietly seats himself and roads his paper.” “And what does this moan?” “An illustration, my dear. The car is as important to the man after he get* in as when ho is chasing it, but the manifestation is no longer called ’ for. I would have shot any ono who put himself in my way when in pursuit of you, as I would now shoot any oue who would come between us : but as a proof of my love you insist on my running after thojear.” A ROMANCE Cl< RHODE ISLAND. In connection with Newport and pi racy, the “History of Rhode Island” records a touching story, which, as the author says, seems more like fiction than fact. We give the domestic talc— which would make a much more charm ing and attractive theme for the poet and dramatist than “Enoch Arden”— in the words of the historians: Samuel Cranston, a gentleman of noble docent, and who had highly dis tinguished himself as a merchant in Newport, on the breaking out of the Drench war, of 1756, being of an act ive temperament of mind, was induced to start on a voyage to Jamaica, not however anticipating tlio scenes and events which he was destined to en dure in the prosecution of tlie voyage. When off the keys of Florida they wore attacked by a practical vessel. They defended themselves to the ut most, satisfied that should they fall into their hands, no mercy would be shown them, but all their efforts were in vain, and they wer<} compelled to surrender to the enemy. Such was the savage cruelty of tiiese buccaneers that prayers nor expostulations had the least effect on their hard and obdurate hearts. The passengers and crew were all inhumanly butchered on the spot with the exception of Mr. Cranston, who was spared to labor on board the vessel as a common menial. To a mind like his it must have been deeply humiliating to lie suddenly thrown from an elevated position in society and compelled to heard witli brutes in human form. In this condi tion lie was doomed to labor seven years. The thoughts of home would rush on the mind, producing pain and disquietude, and anxious looking for ward to the moment of deliverance, when he should once more participate in the enjoyment of the domestic cir cle. He liad watciied every moment from the time of his captivity for an opportunity to effect his escape; the propitious hour seemed to have arrived and he availed himself of it. Having secured a boat and secreted some pro visions, he committed himself to Un winds and the waves, trusttng in the Divine Providence for protection. Af ter being tossed about for many days, lie was so fortunate as to fall in witli an English ship bound from Jamaica to Halifax, who Kindly took him on board and treated him with marked at tention. On his arrival at Halifax a passage was given to Boston. On his arrival there, ho was startled witli tiie minor that his wife was on the eve of getting married to a Mr. Russell, of Boston. This was an additional stroke and rendered his mind a prey to the most gloomy thoughts. Poor and pen niless he started from Boston on foot for Newport, there to await the issue. On his arrival he entered the back door of his former residence, in the charac ter of a mendicant and craved food from the servants, which was readily granted. After appeasing the cravings of hunger ho inquired if Mrs. Craston was the mistress of the house. On being answered in the affirmative, lie stated that 110 had a message which he wished to communicate to her. On being informed that it would be entire ly*out of her power to comply with his wishes, as she was then making prepa rations for her nuptial celebration, which was to take place that evening, the heart of Cranston was seized with the most painful emotion, that las love ly, ador and wife was about to espouse another. He requested the servant to tell his mistress that lie hail seen her husband at 12 o’clock crossing How land’s Ferry. Such intelligence, so unaccountable yet sg highly interesting, brought Mrs. Cranston from her toilet to look on the bearer of such intelligence. He briefly rehearsed over the sufferings which her husband bad endured, which she lis tened to witli the deepest interest, lie wished to know of Mrs. Cranston whether she had ever seen him. Dressed in sailor’s garb, with a tarpu lin hat partially drawn over his eyes, she replied in the negative. Finding himself a stranger and unknown in his own mansion, he at last raised his bat and gave her a significant look, at the same moment pointing to a scar, on his forehead, and exclaiming: “Did you ever, Mrs. Cranston, see that mark before?” She at once flung herself on his bosom, and exclaimed, in trans ports of joy. “You are my ewn, own dear, long-lost husband.” It required, as you may well imag ine, some little time for the paroxysm to subside, and for Mr. Cranston to dress himself in a manner becoming his rank and station, before entering the drawing-room, where the elegant ’group had assembled to witness the ceremony. Then and Now. —They swung to gether on the gate in the clear moon light, nnd with hands clasped looked silently into each other's soul for the wealth of love that was there. Final ly he spoke : “Sweetheart,” he said in tremulous tones, “it wrings my heart to say good night, but I must no long er keep you hero in the chill night air. Good night 1 a fond good night!” and he was gone. That was years ago. Last week thoy stood together on their own stops, but there was no moonlight and no sentiment. “Old woman,” ho said, “you’d better sbiu into the house or you’ll be wheozing and sneezing all night and keeping me awake. You’ve always got a gol-danged influonzy in that snoot of yours.” A DREADFUL CHANGE IN A YOUNG MAN'S INCLINA TIONS. Some time ago there lived in our city a young gentlemau and lady who, (in convenience sake, we will call Ned and Kitty. They were frequently seen to gether exhibiting unmistakable evi dences of tender attachment, which were fast leading them towards the vortex of matrimony. Buggy riding was a favorite past time with tho young lovers, and there was scarcely woodland gleen or prairie flower for miles around here that did not, at some time, witness their love'- msking as they rode by or stoppetha moment to bill and coo. When the young man wanted a bug gy lie invariably wrote as follows to jihe livery man: Mr. Me Please send tho narrow seated buggy to my door at 5 o'clock p. m. and oblige yours. Ned. P. S. If you can't send the narrow seated, don’t send any. Ned. 111 course of time they were married, and a few weeks after tho event trans pired Ned presented himself at Mu’s office and told him that he wished to take Mrs. Ned to the country for a few days, and desired him to get ready for him a buggy. All right, old boy; I am glad to see you round again, and can give you your favorite buggy. All eight, old boy ; I am glad to see you round again, and can give you your favorite buggy. Which? Why, tho narrow-seated rig, of course. Never mind it, Me ; that one will do, and he pointed to a buggy that two persons might have set in with a yard’s space between them.— W</c> Patron. HOW HE OUT HIM. A man named Wells kept tavern in one of our western villages; but though his house had a very good name it was more than lie had himsell; for it was surmised by bis neighbors that he a great deal of fodder, corn, etc., for which he never gave an equivalent, though it had never been clearly proved upon him. Larly one morning he met an acquaintance, names Wilkes, as he was driving before him a heifer, which he had most probably borrowed from some farmer. Hollow Wells! where did you get that heifer? cried Wilkes. Bought her of Col. Stephens, was the unhesitating reply. What did you pay the Colonel for her? Twenty dollars, said Wells as he hur ried along. About an hour afterwards as Wilkes was sitting in Well's bar-room, Col. Stephens entered. After a few min utes conversation, Wilkes said: A fine animal 'that which you sold Wells. I don't understand you, I never sold Wells any Animal. Didn’t you? 1 met him this morn ing with a Heifer, which lie said lie bought of you. 11c did, eh? well, since he said so, he has got to pay me lor her, said the Colonel. Weils entered soon after, and Ste phens stepping up to him said : Come, Wells, I'll trouble you for the. money for that heifer; it was a cash bargain, you know. I never bought any heifer from you, said Wells. Don't you remember you bought one of me for twenty dollars? Here is Wilkes, who can prove it. No lie can’t said Wells. You told me this morning, said Wilkes. A curious expression passed over Wells’ face : he felt himself cornered ; he had either to tell where he got the animal, or lose twenty dollars; and thinking it not safe for him to do the first, he .pulled out his wallet, counted out the money, and handed it to Ste phens, saying: So I did—So I did. I had forgotten all about it. Colonel, you must excuse me. They looked sad and doubtless felt so as they stood up against the horse rack. ‘Times iz hard sighe 1 one. ‘Wars then confcdcrit,’ the other re sponded. ‘An’ work's too ex’auslin !’ Hit draws a man down pow'rful!’ ‘I never did see money so hard to git a fist on.’ •Yas; hit's rcareorn lien’s teeth. ‘Rut I've got one filty cents note left, you bet 1’ ‘Ah, well, I hain't. ‘Let's soak her down for the drink?’ ‘Now that Bonn's sumthing like re sumshnn tiv business, that do!’ And they hid themselves behind a bar screen in a jiffy. —— •>♦- —i “IVliat a traveler you have become,’ exclaimed a Rostonian, on meeting an acquaintance at Constantinoblo. “To tell you the truth,” was the frank reyly “I am obliged to rug about the world to keep ahead of my character, for, the moment it overtakes me I am ruined. “My boy,” said a solemn visaged evangelist to a lad who had just emerged from a hair-pulling match with another boy, ’’do j*ou expect to rove hereafter in a lond of pure delight? “No, said the lad, l,ve busted another button off.n my trousers, and I expect to got a lickin for it. GOOD MAXIMS FOR BOYS. If you have a place of business, be found there when wanted, or in busi ness hours. Do not stop to tell stories in busi ness hours. No man can got rich by lounging in stores and saloons. Never “l'ool” in business matters. Have order, system, regularity, lib erality and promptness. Do not meddle with business you do not understand. Never buy an aiticlo you do not need simply because it is cheap, and tho man who sells will taka it out in tsadc. 'tirade is money. Endeavor to avoid hard words and personalities. Do not kick every stone in tho path. More miles can bo made 111 a day by going steadily on than stopping. l’ay as you go. A man of honor respects liis word as his bond. Aid, but never beg. Help others when you can ; but nev er give what you cannot afford to, simply because it is fashionable. Loam to say ,‘no.” No necessity of snapping it out dog-fashion; but sav it flrinly and respectfully. Have but few confidents, and the fewer the better. Use your own brains rattier than those of others. Learn to think and act for yourself. Bo vigilant^ Keep ahead of, rather than behind, tiie times. A darkey, with a shirt on too ragged to describe, presented to a country store-keeper 111 Mississippi an onlei from his employer for" two dollars. “What do you want for it?” said the merchant. “Bacon, sab, to do last nickel,” replied the darkey with a good natured gun. “From tlm looks of the rags you have on,” said the merchant, ‘ yon bad better take half of the order in bacon and the balance in a siiiitr’ ‘’Hat’s all zackiy so, boss,” said the darkey, feeling on top of his shoulder where there was no shirt, at all, “but you sco, boss, when I call3 on di’s hero back for credit, I always gits it, but when i axes desc here bowels of mine for credit, dey always calls fordo ri^’ —. —mm Mi 1 He ran his rubier ! nose into the door of the sa]puu an/hreiuaiked : •Tho ealupatto cuiumitty haz't bin aroun’ to errango fur the boys, jiat vit, I reckon?’ ‘Notyeti’ answered thVkeeper. ‘1 ’sposo old riamTildea han't knock ed in the head o’ that barrel of scads— yil'r’ ‘Hardly,’ was tiie reply. ‘las; well ye might gimme a return check, or a kind of cuepond, ye know ter show that I've bin round to stand by the nannnyuashuns!’ ‘O, bite it off right there!’ veiled the mixologist. ‘All right then ; ta-ta! But I warn ye that henceforleward I’m fair prey for the inemy 1’ and he slid in the street again. You musn’tthink, boys, remarks one of our leading orators, that you can slosh around with a hatchet and be come great men. If George Washing ton had used a cheese knife it would have been ail the same. You must cultivate decision of char acter and learn to say ‘'No,” said a father to his son. Soon afterward, when the father told tho son to chop some wood, tlie boy said “No,” with an emphasis that showed a remembrance of the lesson. They were talking of death, when one man asked : What were his last words? He did not say anything, was the reply. That's just like him, said tlie first man with an approving nod. There was no gas about him. lie was business. 1 whispered in my darling’s car, “Sweet, do you love me yet. Ska blushed, then came, in accents sweet* the soft reply, You bet! Oh! 1 could die for you! I cried, my charming, winsome elf? She iiftcd up hoy eye3 and sighed, I know how ’tis myself! A man with a largo family com plained of the difficulty of supporting all of them. Hut, says a friend, you have sous large enough to earn some thing for you. The difficulty is, said the man, they are too big to work. An lowa paper advertises for “an apprentice, girl or boy, we don’t care which, only so the office be kept clean and the wood sawed.” Why is a Chinaman the most wonder ful of known animals? Rccause lii3 head and tail sprout from rho samo end. When is the weather most favorable to bay making? When it rams pitch forks. tarn Why should young men not got thirs ty at dances?- Because thoy are direct ly over pumps. Why are sood when sown like gate posts? They arc plantod in the gate to i ropagato (prop a gate). Why is a woman’s tongue like apian-’' ct? Recause nothing short of the pow er that created it is able to stop it in is course. Live within your moans, ifyou would have the means on whieh to live. . NO. 15
