Newspaper Page Text
VOL. M
•THE
N KWh & FARMER.
ROBERT'S & BOYD.
l. * '•' j*.
w * *
irublislicd Every Thursday Morning
k AT
L'l S V ILL E, GEORGIA
I 1 KICK OF SUJteCKJWJN
•. sr s
™ IN ADVANCE.
'V? ' *■’;, . -ip ’ Voi
one copy u jresr.’Gf SK.OO
•• nix m0uth5............ .. 1.00
:* -li.ee months...... ..... fU
-l o, r Oiub t FiVb or more we wi 1 make h
irduciioii of tfb tei ceill-p
t
Al>V i RTISJKO RATES.
transient One dolls* *f>
Mjua e (ten line' o. mi* ijp** or one Inch) toi
the tirs. iuwciii oi hikl 7oej*ts mi' wn Kuuaei
Uuem iiise.liou A übeiHi ueUuetiou nmde o
HilyertUemeuta r limn* over oue month.
i.ucmi uoiiees will oe clm.jred Fifteen cents
l>er line enow nisei*ion.
Alt hills t*i hiiveiiising due Rt hii> time
niter "he lirst in emoii and wM be presetted
it tue pleasure of the Propiietoi**, xi*e|U ♦*.>
special Hll’Hiijjelllei*i t
i-EiIVL A:VE;triSIMU
Ordinsfy’s Citutioiis lor Loiters of Admiinsirn
lion, Ouardia.iship Ac ....s•> 00
ppllCH.lOll .Ol Ullllll 1 11*111 HlJlll'll u t*o
limit •ia and tjp
p,o fa iu cl isin’ii ion* guard’ *
.ill! ill nil 1(11 I:h‘* 0 aeil I 1K...... . •' •**•
’ill.- .. IJfOl .s *iHU Vit dltoi.' On
lie . II u 11*1, jet aquaYf vl Uu lint-* Uo
„S In. o! pflrtvlia f iir iq 1 ei lays Ho*
tli tj lie *ttit * •# •'
• (km or It** .. o
.1 at s pei Vf’ .(d mo -i sIOU
eiimiii*- #Ym ui**iigage and
. n >"s pt-i sq iitif. ...... ■* in#
s ii'ii , da. o o*
in-. 11. i..iiLUU.iD.
ON aitU alter dONUAV ilie*2otli Juur, tli
r'Hf.Heni*>*r trunks n the oeu-gia C Mini
* liauioal. it.s OraneUi o aiid t‘".us will
r .u ;• fjlioW*'
lic ue -Kvatmaii ..... ...... ..... 9;Io ain
i •: AuglltftH...... p in
[ vi. ve in Augusta 4:Uu pm
iiive id Mmcoii u:4. p m
k iiacJii ii‘ w.i*J * ,1.
.; eilV e iaci. tur UiHiitit
v n\ e it >.• minims ,:4 ° a in
v. ive at Knl-ill'M....•?✓*• -*- 1 1 P ,h
viiv* h t- ait' o:05d ain
v.e-* w Ai-.i -*'•* *
~.i * >
IBuk.i'C 'l'hOiij* . I:.u p ii.
at v4hc<mi iruni ittutilu t>;4o pin
( *‘e at vlacoii I’rom bulauin i:io p m
S/ive at Mueun irom Cuiuiiibun o;£>> p m
e -ificoii *;tU ain
Kniv\eai A ignsta 4:ot p in
J Al l Vu Ht "H -i Mint ii ftsVd p Hi
toiiwuct dai y a. ioidnii with Passe -gre
Vraija tV itiKt t'loiu >avatmxit ami Aiigit.ia.
Ai-nfrr; .inn.il • at CB
J \m K. ItIMIW
/ai.Oh.EY i LAW,
B T W, G .
Will racciie in countv.
IL L. G.iMB. i , ,JK.
ATI’UKN LV AT LAW.
ILouifiUtlU, iSa.
Jaiuar) 0 ly.
j. U. Chiu- J. *i. Pullilil
CAIN & POLHILL.
T TUUNE VS A T L A W
LOUISVILLE, GA.
May ?>, 1871. |y
it. RUi.JLLY,
ATiuMSY AT LAW
SWAt. fcß yinO, GA.
L EM AiNIUIiEL ©©lyiiNlTY.
B Will practice in the Supreme Courts
rof the State, and the Superior Courts
* of the following counties:
Emanuel. Johnson, Montgomery.
Tattnal, Jefferson,
Special attention given to the collec
tion of claims.
3bR, E. E. PARSONS
•jd t. k rr x s
JLouisville, Ga.
Wi I be in Louisville tbe third week in encb
month
dri Irder- left at the Central Hotel promptly
attended to. i-li 24 ly.
j CENTRAL HOTELr
LOUISVILLE GA.
P Mrs. A. M. Kirkland, Proprietress.
BHJTSi^.Jsnr
Collegiate Institute.
JAS. K. KINMAN, - - Principal.
Board and Tuition cheap Society good Lo>
cality healthful The i*.-t school and the heat
place to. a echool in Middle Ga
’ 'Addres
•JAS. K. SINM-a.IT,
Bartow, or Bethany, Ga.
steam, watsk ami gas wokks.
O-A UD HJ,
.A -3TTSTA, GtA.
PRACTICAL WORKMAN and Beel
er in Pumps of many styles, Hy
draulic Rims, Steam and Water Gang
es, and all kind of material for Gas oi
Water. Ajwah finite
Springfield Gag Machine. and
BefffcVTiWloe Water
Knowles Steam Pumos
TANARUS, M'KKWALT.K,
Marble Works
' BROAD STRS3T,
SNeah <web MakiCet
Kbii *.
Monuments. Tombstone!!
MAKHLK U WiIRK<,
AUG U.S 1 A , GA.
STOJP AT
THE PL aN LEUS
HOTEL,
CORNEA OF
Ii B)■ I- ft*
(Market Square)
SAVANNAH. ..... GA.
lit- U’ lli-mg. ed *Hvi. g ecciniy Hkcn
c nryf of iliiis popular lit-nse rf e utenainimnt
has mid every necess rj impr-vniioui turihe
Hrcomoda*ioii and comiort *t guests. a that
class Buber shop, with baths connected,
Kead ng'and Billiard Rooms, offi
ce and other poiive-.ieiict's are now conn cted
with the House and no paim ar spared to
niafce guests happy.
The hl)lcs .:e supplied noth he best the
ipnrk-1 affi'd 'he rooms are la ge and air3'
rioiKii g it a lavoii estppitijo ace for P'aliters
c st and from the Kwii* ads and >ttaim rs
a wins i* iendiue**
do'.rd nly $2 per Day
•ichUtf A. E. CAHR. Frourietor
A FAt-M and ufML
iF VOU i OWi\.
iij S Hit Tme .0 se.CuHi: IT!
'The best and chrapest a dsir. market, are in
Eastkmi Nkbua ka. on tli- m.e of tne Uni k
Bag vc t ailkoad i h*- inesi mvorbie let ms,
v;i l*.w ra*es t lar and treighi 10 al> settler .
The be*t mark* is. Fiee passe, to land hu)ers
a, di scr p’ive pamphlets, nev\ e iti >n ot
"1 Hfc Bioneek*’ hem tree everywheie. Ad-
U F ifAVIS. Lvud Commissioner,
t T - P. R R. < m.ilia b.
T week to Agents. ample.*.
-©II FREE P. O. VIcKEt Y
!• • Hilllif,
r, N V ALEE*
.4 coinplrre ir'or of Audt-rsortvi ! 1.-
f , rt..on by O . H. K.TKVtKHuM. ft'ur
if-mi withnn -pt-undix con. SB
* rmii. B ti, imniH. o *3 on Union sol “J
eg dicr. wiio di- -i th re with uate and j ll j
Mac cau-w. ot dt-ath. - eut- n lei-eipt ot'pii.e, „
9-3 Uu A .-pi- lull - ca- paigu bwik. lUa.
BULLB-.ttT KK , B Inn-re. -Kl
Uu. j n.nti'v o w i.v. t uIS.
Proved by sucvestfnl use throughout the country
AQU ifl -I a Fa Ii A lUbYI
the beat Purgative and Anti-Bhioua Med cine
km-wii Cme Coiir-tipation, U.lliuiMueaa,L v
er C’> mpl iut, Malarial Keve-s, Kheuni.itiam
and hi- kind-ed i -rd> ra.
Ur. at- ony’s • C o al S omi.h Pi.U
cine Coughs, . olds, Feve s. Female Com**
plaints “Sick H*adaclie. Dyspe. ssa, and all
raugeineutK of the oiomach. 0. E* Hull A
Cos., rew Yoik, Proprietor*,
~AS Yot7
COING TO PAINT?
TU.H USE NONK BUT TH K
A V ji, it i ±< L
(lIEMkAL l’Al I
- is he u > vjinal and only liehuble Paint
Mixed heady J'or Use.
I is the must Durable, me Ilandtomeet and
niiißi ecunnmi al paint made. Ctnd tor sample
card, with lesiim.mlan. tr n own is of the nu*
eat. residences in the ci>u try. Poi' sale in eve
r<’ section ol iligapunti',.
AVKIULL UihMIC iLP.iINT CO.,
32 Bulling .'■lip New VoikCuy.
'i lie only Centennial Medal for a prepared
paint wasawaided us
2a c ksts for ilie lotjih edition o
Newspaper Advertising, containing a list of
Towns over iiOOO Popu,alien and v trious coni'
bina, ion of newspapers. Address
U6-.P ft W I
41 PAUK UoW. NEW YOKK.
PTAO-ELHSTTfo I=A3
1 KA WjOW' I’UIVtSU At 0 V 1_
lOU p.is r sM.Li.Tti DOOKS
are most completely * in our
Grand Combiratinn Prospcct.is
by sample page, bindings, illustration*, ete.
AO are picked, popular woiks on evert subject.
Why'risk all on one doubtful hook when you
can make success ture by offering customeia a
ohoice of ISOf Our agent* have the inside
track, and are delighted with their quick sales.
Pail not to send lor partiou are and liberal
term* at once, or. If in baste to bogin work,
send $| 50 for complete outfit to
SCAMMELL & CO.,
THE SEWS AND EABMER.
LOUISVILLE. JEFFERSON COUNTY GA- OCTOBER 10. 1976.
sMrj.
______
I oung hearts are bold, and yet. the}'
count the cost,
far to preojtpus to be
awake 1 Christ .will thee
Strength supply.
Association works mean3 Christ and I.
Young though thou art, thy Saviour:
-no THOU,”
Men’s souls are faint for “living waters”
now. _
Christian ! what 1 “steepest thmV' (~
but me come,
work briag sinners home.
Young, is bur cause, so wondrous blest
of God,
Men's thoughts are daily turning to
ward tue blood.
Christian 1 the blood that “cleanseth
from all - in,"
Association faith brings sinners in.
Young men are ddily dying without
hope,
Men’s eye .are blinded, they in dark
ness grope,
Christian, awake! lift high the gospel
flame,
Association faith in Jesus’ name,
Jpiscellaneim?,
A Sap.isi Bio h.*r ivHis .pLuoti
about the Pr sby r.nns.
A lady correspondent of the It (de
pendent gives a sketch of n. sermon she
heunJ in .Georgia nearly half a century-
from which we give an extract:
The preacher was apparently about
fifty yeais of age, large, muscular and
well proportioned. On entering the
pulpit he took off iiis coat and hung it
on a nail behind him, then opened bis
colar and wristbands, and wiped the
peispratjon from his face, neck aud
hands, lie was clad in striped cotton
homespun, and his shirt was of the
same material, lie had traveled several
miles that morning, and seemed almost
overcome by the heat. Hut the breth
ren sung a couple of hymns while he
was fanning at.d cooling off, and when
he rose he looked comfortable and
good natured. . >
lle Ji**' l -hecl there once or twice
• vxvi VYuwe-kw , hr* on liitn ax' .La
wa a stranger. Hence he thought it
necessary to announce himself, which'
he did as ‘Old Chub Ax Davis, from
Scriven county-, a Half Hard and Hail
Soft Shell Baptist’
*1 have given myself that name,’ said
he, ‘because I believe the Lord elected
me. from all eternity, to go ahead in
backwoods and grub out a path and
blaze tbe way for other men to follow.
After tbe thickest of it is cut away, a
good warm Methodist brother will come
along and take ray trail and make
things a little smoother and a good deal
noisier. And after al. the the un.ler-J
brush is cleard out, and the owls and
wolves are skeered back, and rattle
snakes is k lied off, a.-Presbyterian
brother, in black, broadcloth and white
cravat, will come along and cry for de
cency and order. And they'll both do
good in their spere. I don’t despis a
larnt man, even when he dou’t dress
and think as I do. You couldn’t pay
tue enough to wear broadcloth, summer
nor winter, and you "couidn’t pay a
Presbyterian brother enough to go with
out it in dog days.
‘God didn’t make us all alike, ray
brethren ; but every man has bis own
spere. When God has a place to fill,
lie makes a man and puts uim in it.—
IF he ahe wanted General Jackson he
made him, and set him to fightin’ In
juns and the English; when he wanted
Geo ge W'hitßeld, he made him for to
blow the Gospel trumpet as no other
man ever blowed it; and when he want
ed , Id Club Ax Davis, lie made him.
and set him togrubnin’ in tbe back
woods
‘But my shell is’nt so hard but I can
see good pints in everybody ; aud as
fir the Presbyterians, they are a long
way ahead of us Baptists and Metho
dists in some things. They raise their
children better than any people on the
face of t.he earth. Only a few days ago
a Metodist class leader said to me :
•Brother Club Ax, I was born a Metho
dist, 1 was raiseuj a Methodist, and b<
the grvee of God I hope to die a Metho
dist ; but, thank God, J’ve got a Pres
byterian wife to raise my children.’ And
I believe, my brethren, if the Lord
should open the way for me to 1, arry
agin, I’d try my best to find a Presbyte
rian woman, and run my chances of
breukin’ her into the saving doctrines
of feet-washin’ and immersion after
ward.’
Just at this point lie was interrupted
by two spotted hounds that had been
continually running up and down the
pulpit-stairs. Gne of them jumped up
on tbe seat and began to gnaw his coat
tail, in which was something he had
brought along for lunch, lie turned
slowly around and took him by the ears
and tail and threw him out of the win
dow behind him, as easily as if it h4d
been a young kitten. The other took
warning, and got out as rapidly as pos
sible, though not without bowling and
yelping as if it bad been half killed.—
He then turned to the audience and
said, smiliugly: ‘St. Paul exhorted
tbe brethren to ‘beware of dogs,’ I
wonder what he would do if he were in
my place this morningf It appears
like lam ‘compassed about with dogs,’
as David says he was.’
' He had scarcely, commenced preach
ing again before there was a terrible
squealing and kicking among the mules
and horses that were tied to tree* close
by. He put his head out of the window,
juid said: -No harm done, my hreth
reh. Just* Cretnr wiji a side-sadrlle
on has broken loose. Will some broth
er headthfe animal P for no sister can
walk home this hot da/.”
Quiet being restored, he continued :
j “Well, ibv brethem,J will now try
to say what I allowed to about the
Prysbvteriaiis, ‘ ,
“As I said before, they raise their
chidren a heap bet;er 'jn church, and
keep Sunday *nd ndthe Bible
aM laru tiie
do. I declare, my torethem, - their chil
dren are larnt that Westminister Chate
chism by t,he time they can begin to
talk plain.
“It ain't three weeks Since I was oat
* cattle Huntin’—for two of my yeariin‘s
had strayed off —and I stopped in at
old brother Harkey’s, on Mud Creek,
and took dinner. He’s deacon in the
Presbyterian .Church over thar. Well,
as true as I stand here, my brethern’
sister Harkey had her gal a-standin,
righ befor her, with toes just even with
the crack o the floor, and her hands was
a hangar down by her side, and her
mouth turned up like a chicken when it
drinks, and she was pnttin’ this ques
tion to her out o, that Catechism:
“What are the benefits which in this
life do either accompany of flow from
justification, adoption and sanctifica
tion?
"Now the question itself was enough
to break tb e child down. But when
she had to begin to say that question
all over (for that’. the way it is in the
book) and then hitch ths answer to it,
and which, all out together, made tnis:
•‘The benefits which in this life do either
accompany or flow from justification,
adoption and sanctificatici are peace
of conscience, joy in the Holy Ghost,
increase of grace, and perseverance
therein to the end’—l thought tue child
was the greatest wonder 1 havejever seen
in all my life. She tuck' it right
through, too, without balkin’ or missin*
the first word. And she spoke so
sweet and she looked so like a little
angel, that before I knowed it tbe tears
was ruunin* down tny as big as
buckshot. Pve day when I
could have rnaukf thousan*
rails quicker and eaflvg.ljfc JL jarnt
that aii<i sHid ity> ^^^r^^
understand or know the m'.aiun yf one
word o’ that. It me up to all I
knew to take it in myself But just let
ttiat Presbyteriau young uu grow up,
and every word of that Catechism will
come back to her, and her character
will stiffen up under it, and she ll have
the backbone of the mattfer in her for
life.
.“Now I can’t put things into my
childred that way. Nothin and ra’t stay,
somehow. It’s like drivin a nail into
a rotten log.
This last remark I neyer forgot.
For thirty years afterward, as I would
stand at the blackboard trying to fix
rules aud principles in the mind of a
dull pupil, this remark would come back
to me with its peculiar pertinency.
“I tell you my brebtren. he continued,
“If our children had a little raoue cate
chism, and the Presbyterians a little
less, it would be better for both,
“Then we don’t pray in our families
like they do. I know their prayers are
miguty long, and they pray all over cre
ation ; but, after all, its the right way.
It’s beter than prayin too little.
“N -w, my father and mother was
good Bastist, aud raised their children
to be honest aud industrious: but I
never heard one of them, pray in my
life, aud I was most a grown man be
fore lever prayed a prayer myself, aud
it was on this wise;
•There was to be a big meetiu’ over
in i-.lbert county, and I knowed a pretty
gal over tbar that I wauted to go and
see. So 1 borrowed a little dersy wag
in, which as a stylish thing in them
days, and went over to her house and
stayed all night, and engaged her to
ride to meetin* witu me the uexk day,
‘which was sundy.
IVe went, and had a glorious time
ami 1 may as well say right here that
she was aiterward my wite—but a cum
in home I met with a powerful acci
dent that I've never got over to this
day. As i was a cumin down a steep
hill, some part of ttje gearin' gave way
and let me and tne wagiu on my cretur’s
heels; aud bein youug aud skeery aud
not much used to wheels, she wriggled
and kicked and tore from one side of
the road to the other, till 1 was pitched
head foremust as much as ten foot into
a deep guiiy.and It’s a miracle of mercy
that my neck wasn’t broke oh the spot.
“Expecting to be killed evry minit,
I thought I ought to ask the Lord for
mercy. But as I had never prayed in
my life, I couident think of the first
thing to say but the blessing my father
used to ask before ealin when we had
company, and which was this: “Lord,
make us thankful for what we are
about to recive.
“Now my brethren, do you spose any
Presbyterian raised-boy was ever put to
such a srait as that for a prayer? No.
He would have prayed for himself and
gone off after the Jews and the heath
eras whilst 1 was a-hunting up and a-get
in off that blesstn.
The mombers of the Board of Trade
of Chicago have contributed $15,000 for
the Savannah sufferers.
A FASHIONABBc WOMAN S FRAYEd
Strengthen my hnsband, and may his |
faith and his money hold oat to the I
last.
Draw the lambs’ wool of unsuspicious
twilight over his eyes, that my flirtations
nmy look to him like victories, and that
my bills may strengthen his pride in
me.
Blass O, Fortune 1 my crimps, .rats
and frizzles, and let thy light wine on
my paint and powder.
Enable the poor to shift for them
selves, and save me from Ml missiona
ry beggars.
Shed the lightpf thy countenance on
my carnePs hair shawl, Siy lavender
silk, my point lace and my set of dia
monds, and keep the moths out of my
sable, I bcseeob thee, 0 Fortsiifh. 1
When I walk oat before the gaze of
vulgar men regulate my wriggle and
add new grace to my gait-
When I bow myself t<> worship, grant
that I may do it with ravishing elegance
and preserve unto the last the lilly
white of my flesh and the taper of my
fingers.
Destroy mine enemies with the gall
of jealousy, and eat with the teeth of
envy all those who gaze at my style.
Save me from wri ikies, and foster
my plumpness.
Fill both my eyes, 0 Fortune ! with
the plaintive poison of infatuation, that
I may lay opt my victims—the men—
as numb as images graven.
Let the lilly and the roses strive to
gather in my cheek, and my neck
swim like a goose on the crys
tal water.
Enable me, 0 Fortune! to wear shoes
still a little smaller, and save me from
all corns and bunions.
.Bless Fatny, my lap-dog, and rain
down hail stones of destruction upon
those who shall hurt a hair of Hector,
my kitten.
Smile, O Fortuue! most sweet upon
Dick, my cauary, and watch ever with
the fondness of a ghost my two lily
white mice with red eyes.
a ~jW a grakger got fooled
BY A PHILADELPHIA ARAB—
WILES OF THE CENTENMAL .
Many strangers at the Centennial are
not yet aware that they can’t get out,
even for a moment, and get back on tbe
same entrance fee. I saw and 014 man,
evidently a Granger, try it the day.
He says to. the gateman:
“I want *- -o out a minute. CTou’ll
know 11R .eu 1 come back.Awon’t
you); ’
Gatetnan. )Tes, I’ll know j-ou by a
fifty cent stamp.
Grunger. What! Ain’t the money I
paid good for all day?
Gatemau. Yes; it’s good for all day
if you stay in all day.
Granger. But I want a bite teelt t’ll
cost me fifty cents in here.
Gatemau. That’s the rule, old man,
and you,ll have to stand it. But I’ll
tell you what you can do. You can go
down by them paiings, aud there’s
some boys outside will sell you a sand
which for twenty cents.
I followed the old gentleman down
by the palings to witness his invest
ment. Sure enough, iie found an au
burn-haired boy with sandwiches, and
taking oue through the slats, passed
out a fifty-ceut stamp. Tuen he held
his hand through for tbe change.
“This is 1876,” says the brick-top,
arab.
Granger. Well, I guess I knenyed
that uefore. Gira my' change I
Arab. This is Centeuniai year.
Granger (snapping his lingers ner
vously through the crack.) Here, boy !
I dou’t want no foolin, Gira my change
right away.
Arab. Don,t you know this is Cen
tennial year?
Granger. Yes, sholy I do. Gim
my ciiause you owdacioqs devil.
Arahj Don’t give no change Cen
tennial year.
Granger. Yon cussed, infernal, red
headed brat of a Sata ■ if you don’t
gun me thirty cents 1\ \oorau out there
and got a polieceman hold of you.
Arad. Now, mister that wouldn’t
be business. You don’t want to come
out here and pay fifty-cents to get back
—just f.rthirty cents—aud if yet’ was
to do it for spite, w;kere’d I be when
you got out? You see, this is Centennial
year. Now you go along quiet aud
nice and it'll be all the same next Cen
tenm.il.
Finale. Arab pGfoftns a short .war
dance and yells: "Run here, Jimmy
I’ve done it to another of em.”
Granger walks off, rubo'ng liis bother,
ed brow and muttering:
“Well, I’ll be eternally dig-b)asted
intew gotirdseed if this ain’t the skip
inist place 1 ever struck!”
SOME NEW REMEDIES
Yesterday morning a couple of bobt
blacks might have been seen passing
up tiie street in solemn procession,*
One ot them was shivering and shaking,
as if the ague meant to wrench his
joints apart, and the other held him by
tue hand and kindly sa-d: -
“Keep up a stiff back bone Tom—
the ague never kills.”
T-ie sick boy was taken in the alley
where all tbe justioes of the peace hold
out, laid down in an old bex, straw
packed around him, and then nurse
made a call at a fruit store and said:
“You know Tom, dou’t you?”
“Fellor with the big feet? ’ queried
tbe clerk. ,
“He> the one. Well, he’s got the
agar the awfulleet kind—just shaking
up the cobble stones over in the alley. I
“It’s too bad,’ said the oterk.
‘lt’s awful for him, and-I came over
for some Califomy plums. Nothing
knocks his agar so quiejp as plains.
J,ve seen him when he
eat three plums and grow beffgr^rigmi
“That’S t® wJft—-too soft,’ replied
the clerk. ' "Yjir ought to be in' jail for
.lylug-’ A
“Some gum-dtops or a cocoahut
might help him,” suggested the lad.
• “Get out, I say 1 Go and feed him o.i
wind.”
“Even an Apple.would do him good,’
persisted the boy.
,'Areo’kyou going out?’ yelled tlxe
the clerk, as be made a rush, and the
M’f d>ftgo UuV. He utS4i‘ bis way to
m *Hy. eg
catching Thomds by the hair he called"
“Come, boost out o’ thatj”
'•Git anything whispered Tom.
'’Not even a musty ldmon. Git up
and less go round the banks and And a
hundred dollar bill and leave this town
forever.,’
HAD NO FUN IN HJM.
One of thj members of the Methodist
Conference, recently held here, was out
for a walk at an early hour one morn
ing, and while on Howard street he en
countered a strapping big fellow, who
was drawing a wagon to the black
smith shop.
“Catch hold here and help me down
to the shop with this wagon, and I’ll
buy the whiskey 1” called the big fel
low.
“I never drink,” solemnly replied
the good man.
“Well you can take a cigar.”
“I never smoke.”
The man dropped the wagon-tongue,
looked hard at the member and asked:
“Don’t you chew?”
“No sir,” was the decided reply,
“Youmight get mighty lonesome,”
mused the teamster.
“I guess I’m all right—l feel first
rate.”
“11l bet even that I can lay you on
your back,” remarked the teamster.
“Come now, let’s warm up a little.”
“I never bet.”
“Well, let’s take each other down for
fun, then, You aro as big as I am,
and I’ll give you the under hold.”
*‘l never have fun,” solemnly answer
ed the member,
“Well, I am jming to tackel you any
way. Here
The teamster slid up and endeavored
Ui g 4 . I**U LioM| bniLo Lord VUG Just
commenced to rtiol a bout-, when lie was
lifted clear of the grass and slammed
against a tree box with such force that
he gasped three or four times before he
could got his breath.
“Now you keep away from me!” ex
claimed the minister, picking up his
cane.
“Bust me if I don’t!” replied the
teamster, as he edged .off. “ W hat’s the
use in lying and saying that you didn’t
have any fun in you when you are chuck ;
tull of it! Blame it! you wanted to 1
break my back, didn’t you !’,
Ruler For The Farmers.
Have a written contract with all la
borers by the month or year.
Pay working-men promptly their
wages, when due.
Use the best implements on the farm,
and keep them always in order and
well protected from the weather.
Early planting is best nine years in
ten, therefore plant early.
Early cultivation secures a good crop
—always push your work—never let
your workpusu you.
An ounce of brain is worth a pound
of mqscle, therefore, always think well
and plqu beforehand what is best to be
done and the order in which it should
be done. Order is Heaven’s first law.
Never suffer that which is made to
be lost or wasted, preserve it. keep it
and economize. It is the saving more
than the making that gathereth riches.
Never buy what you can produce at
home evualiy as cheap. In this way
you save time, expense and the profits
of two merchants.
Never plant more than yon can culti
vate well, for all plants abhor neglect
and refuse to grow well for a lazy man.
Never borrow from a neighbor except
in case of necessity, and then return
whatever you borrow as soon as possi
ble, lest a. misunderstand arise, and
good neigh,bprship be destroyed.
Prepare well for market whatever you
can spare from the farm and sell it
when it is in the best state of prepar
ation.
The loss by srinkage and refa'tening is
more than speoularion in the price to
most farmers, and had best be avoided.
She led him to.thp.sofa, and in a deep
bass voice called hj.m.hprboul’ sidol, and
inquired what his monthly income was
seeing his gaza fixed on her boa-con
strictor ljke mouth, she remarked
ling, I see you notice my largo and
beautiful mouth; let me explain to you
the reason of its usual size.- Ween I
was quite a child I was playing on pap
py’s cellar door. It gave way. I was pro
eipitated down into the basement and
caught by the mouth ou a. projecting
hook, which ripped up my face and ex
tended my mouth several inches,” With
his eyes lull of sympathetic tears, he
rose from the sofa and replied as he
made toward the door: “My apgel you
are perhaps mistaken. Probably in tbe
exoitement of that awful momencyou left
your mouth down in tho basement and
accidentally brought up the cellar door.
We shall meet again in a belter world.
Adieu.”
DtiFFINITIONS of BIBLE
TERMS.
A day’s journey was about twent
three and one-GftU miles.
A iSabbath day’s journey was about
'v Ezekiel’s rod was nearly.eleven feet.
’ A cubit was nearly twenty-two
inches.
A baud’s breadth is equal to three
and fivd-eighths inches.
A finger’s breadth is equal to one
inch. 4
A shekel of silver was about fifty
cents.
A shekelof gold waa eight dollars.
A talent of silver was five hundred
and thirty-eight dollars and lihirtv
CGnts. r
A talinLiffggja thirteen thou
sami eighfchundred and nine dollars.
A pieceof silver, or a penny, was
thirteen cents.
A farthing was three cents.
A jinite was less than a quarter of a
cent.'
A gerah was a cent.
An epali, or both, contains seven gal
lons and five pints.
A bin was one gallon and two pints./
A firkin was seven pints.
An omer was six pints. /
A cab was tbreo pints. ' /
POSSIBILITIES OF AN ACRt
No man knows what these are. . @
know that two hundred bushels of° nl
were grown on one acre, am Lhat
five bales ot cotton have been ’mde on
the same acre of soil, but we not
know that the limits of produce were
reached in either case. We sAiuld try
to find out that not merely ho t much ofi
any g ; veu crop can be produced on
acre of land, but how choapy it can
grown. A big crop may no. in all jA"
I es, be a protiabic one. It .nay
much to make it. The greatest/ oa p.
i with the smallest, possible outlay Qur
! iial and labor is what ws aim ; 0 muc h
1 farmers ate often too poor, no ••>(] stua U
i because their crops are small-3 ey might
they are compared with whsj UU ch to
be—is because it costs Vy inH j te
make them. We must l** al)or Xo do
' S er cr °P s with les§‘ ~r ou d, and
i thls ' we must go ov^ ioal skl H, prop
imk science andrfo, aud machinery.
,erly supplement y 4 \
' "-Mural Caroiiii w* 1
hewaM£ a nd. VIG . J* .
An tlie
cvc n i u
disturbe him. It was a
said his name was Dolsoeker. H e ex
tended his hand for a shake; sat down
as if iu his own house, and presently be
gan : J
“I called to see if you would give me
a littl spiritual advice,”
“ Certainly I will, and wilp be cri ad
to,” was the reply. 'Ure you a pro
fessor?” 1
- 1 hen you aro thinking of turning
i y°“ r feet into good paths, I hope.”
‘•Well, prehaps so was the hesitating
repiy. 3
“Don't yon want to be ’hristian?”
j asked the good uiaa. ;j
111 tell you how it is.," §uid the stran
ger, after a lengthly interval. I’ve
got a ticket in lottery, and I wanted to
ask you if you thought it would stand
any better chance of striking the prise
if I was sorter good than it would be if
I kept on being sorter bad.”
The clergyman did’t labor with Mr.
Dolsoeker very long.
MISSPENT EVENINGS.
The boy who spends an hour of each
evening lounging idly on the street corn
ers, wastes in the course of a year three
iiundred aud sixty five precious hours
which, if applied to study would farail’
iarize him with the rudiments of almost
any of the familiar sciences. If i n a( j.
ditioh to wasting an hour each evening
he spends ten cent for a cigar, which is
usually the case, the amount thus worse
than wasted would pay for ten of the
leading periodicals of the county.
Boys, think of tlie3o things.—Think
how ranch time and money you are wast
hio anti for what? The gratification
afforded by the lounge on the corner or
the cigar is not only temporary, but pos.
itively hurtful. Toil cannot indulge in
them without seriously injuring your
selves. You acquire idle and°wastful
habits which cling closer to you each
succeoding J’sar. Yon may in after life
shake them off* jmt the probabilities
are that the habits thus formed in early
life will remain with you to yoar dying
day.
Be warned then in time, and resolve
that as the hour spent in idleness is
gone forever, you will imrove eaoh pass
ing oue and thereby fit yourselves for
usefulness and happiness.
WHAT WAS ON THE BILL.
Some of the hotels have bills of fare
with the fly leaf covered with cards of
various business houses. An Oregon
man recently took e seat behind one of
them, when a waiter appeared with
“What wilt you have, sir?’
i,o the utter confusion of the waiter,
he leisurely remarked:
“You. may fetch me anew set of
teeth iu guta pereba; and improved
sewing machine, with a patent look
stitch; a box of Braudreth’s pills, and
a pair ot number sevora French calf
skin boot 9 .
In a moment the wwtter replied:
“We do not furnish these articles'.’
“Then what the devil have you got it
on the hill of fare forf” retorted the
customer.
NO. 23