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VOL. 11l The Quitman Reporter IS PUIIT.ISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY JOS. TILLMAN, Pi-oi> r, TEEMS: One Year S2 0(1 Six Months 1 00 Three Months 50 All subscriptions must lie paid invariably tn tulvanne —no discrimination in l'avor oi anybody. The paper will bo stopped in all instances at the expiration o*' the time paid for, unless subscriptions aro previously renewed. BATES OF ADVERTISING. Advertisements inserted at the rate ot SI.OO per square—one inch—for prst inser tion, and 75 cents for each sub: ‘quent in sertion, for three weeks or less. For a lon ger period the following arc our rates: gqrs IM. 2M.| 3 M o’ M. 12 M. 1 $5 00 $S 0(1 ■ 10 00 ! 15 oo S2O 00 2 8 01) 12 00 11500| 20 00 25 00 3 10 00 1.5 00 ll* 00 25 00 30 00 4 12 00 10 00 20 00 30 00 35 00 5 11 00 !18 00 23 00 I 3.5 00 40 00 6 15 00 !2000|2500 |4O 00 45 00 8 18 00 25 00 j3O 00 45 00 50 00 .1 col 25 00 30 00 :35 00 fill 00 00 00 1 col 35 00 14000j4500 |OO 00 100 00 A square is one inch. These are our low est rates, and will be strictly adhered to. All advertisements should be marked for a specified time, otherwise they will la 1 •charged under the rule ot so much for the first insertion, and so much l* n each suliso ■quent insertion. Marriages, Obimarics and Tributes of Be 'spect wiil be charged same rates as ordinary advertisements. WHEN s 7k 1-'$ ARE DUE. All bills for advertising in this paper arc Clue on the lirst appearance oi the adaertise fnent, except when otherwise arranged by •contract, and will be presented when the *001165' is needed. r. IS. A. J E L KB, Practicing Pliysician. QUITMAN GA. Office : Brick building adjoining store •of Messrs, llriggs, Jelks k Cos., Screven Street. [l-tt 8. T. KIMSISEIIY, Attorney at Law, v CITMA .V, - - GEORGIA. in new Brick Warehouse. Business before the U. S. Patent OiHei I, A. Allbrittgn, Attorney at Law,. QUI'TJIAN, - - - - A /re-OFFICE IX COURT HOUSE. W. A. K. HUMP3IBEYS, Attorney at Law, QUITMAN. GEORGIA. S3T-OFFICE in the Court House "S® HADDOCK & llAIFOIt!), Attorneys at Law, QUITMAN, GIOO. Will give prompt attention to all business entrusted to their care. oyer Kavton’s store. Dr. J. S. N. Snow, DENTIST. OFFICE—Front room up stairs over Kay ton’s Store. Gas administered for painless ly extracting teeth. Charges to suit the times. jau 19, ly C. W. Stevens, Attorney at Law, QUIT3IAIV - GA. Will give prompt attention to all business entrusted to him. Can be found at Capt. Turner’s of fice. J b.finchT DEALER IN Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots - Shoes, Hots and Caps, it Hardware, Tin Ware, Bacon and Flour. Very grateful for past favors and patron age, the subscriber asks a continuation of the same. J. B. Finch. 3s-3o~Gin The Brooks Comity MANUFACTURING ASSOCIATION ARE RUNNING Their Factory -ON FULL TIME. : HE MOST desirable goods, such as ex- X- act-ly suit the wants of the people are made here, and at New York Prices, less the freight to the purchaser. BROWN COTTON GOODS. 4-4 SHEET ING - Standard weight. 7 8 SHlßTlNG—Standard weight. 7 and 8 OSNABURGS. ALL COLORS OE STRIPES. YARNS IN BALES, 8s 10s. ROPE—in half and whole Coils. SEWING THREAD—IG balls to the pound. KNITTING THREAD. WRAPPING TWINE. GEORGIA PLAINS. MIXED PLAINS. WOOLEN PLAINS—AII colors. JEANS—AII colors. KS-WOOL CARDING A SPE CIALTY. j Patronize home industries. Send for ■ price list., and satisfy yours, If where it will tie to your interest to buy. Address all communications to Joseph tillman, President I). (’. M. A. THE SUN. : 1*77. NEW YORK, 1577. The different editions ol Tin Sun daring j the next year wiil he the same as during the year that has just passed. The daily edition will on week days he a sheet of four pages, and on .Sundays a shoot ot eight pages, or fa; broad columns; wlii-lo the weekly edition will be a sheet of eight pages of the same ; dimensions and character that are already . familiar to our friends. The B'un will continue to be the strenuous advocate of reform and retrenchment, and of the subetitiM ion of sir.tesmasi.skip, avis-, d-uii. and inf -grily {or h-dloA pretence, ini- j beciiity, and fraud in the administration of public affairs. It will contvGid for the gov ernment of the peoj.i • by tlx- y-vopb; and ior the people, as opposed to government bv frauds in the ball >t-box and in t li-• counting of votes, cnloreed by military violence. L; Will endeavor to supply its readers- a body now not far from a million of souls with the most care fid, complete and trustworthy j accounts of current events, and will employ tor this purpose a numeious and carefully ■ selected staff of reporters and correspond ents. Its reports from Washington, espe- i j dally, will be full, accurate and fearless, j and it will continue to deserve and enjoy the hatred ot those who thrive by : plundering the Treasury or by usurping j what the law does not give them; while it will endeavor to merit the confidence of the public by defending the rights of the people against the encroachments of unjustified power. The price of the daily Run will he no cents a month or S'). aii a year, post paid, or with the .Sunday . dition S7.7'i a year. The .Sunday edition alone, eight pages, ! $1.20 a year, post paid. The Weekly Sun, eight pages of 5G broad columns, will be in-rnishc.l during 1877 at the rate of $1 a year, post paid. The benefit of this large reduction from the previous rate for the Weekly can be enjoyed by individual subscribers without the necessity of making up clubs. At the same time, if any of our friends choose to aid in extending our circulation, we shall be grateful to them, and every such person who sends us ten or more subscribers from one place will be entitled to one copy of the paper for himself without charge. At one dollar a year, postage paid, the expense?? oi paper and printing are barely repaid; and, considering the size of the sheet and the quality of its contents, wo are confident the people will consider The Weekly .Sun the cheapest newspaper published in the world, and we trust also one of the very best. Address, The Sun, New York City. Liverpool and ond on and OloV O®, Funds of the Company $24,325,984 Income of the Company 7,090,9(10 Claims paid by the Companv. . 01,110,875. H. m. Mclntosh, Agent at. O’--* <■'- Crampton’s Imperial Soap IS TUB “BEST.” This Soap in manufactured from pure materials, aud as it contains a large percent age of Vegetable Oil, is warranted fully equal to the best imported Castile Soap, aud at the same time possesses all the wash ing and cleauiug properties of the celebra ted Gorman and French Laundry Soaps. It is therefore recommended for use in the Laundry, Kitchen, and Bath-room, and for general household purposes; also, for Prin ters, Painters, Engineers, and Machinists, as it will remove stains of Ink, Grease, Tar, Oil. Paint, etc., from the hands., Maun fact ured only by CIUMPTOX BROTHERS, 2,4, (>, N, and 10 Biityers I'lni’c, and 33 and 35 Jefferson Street, New York QUITMAN, GA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1877. SO XU OF TIIE BUTTERFLY. I come from bowers of lilacs gay, With honeysuckles blending. And many a spray of willows gray, Above the waters bending. I flutter by the river side. Where laves the swan his bosom, And o’er the open common wide, Where yellow ragworts blossom. Away on downy pinions borne, With many a happy rover, I skim about the rustling corn And revel in the clover. 1 laugh to see the frugal boo For others hoard her treasure; From morn to night a toiler she, But mine’s a life of pleasure. I gem my head with pollen dust From out the waxen lilies, And in the stream my plume adjust, Swinging on daffodilies. I drink the sweets the violet yields On banks of emerald mosses. Then flaunt away to trefoil fields, Hung thick with golden bosses. I banquet on the hawthorn's breath, Where lady-birds assemble, And dance upon the open heath, Where fairy bluebells tremble. A careless rover, blithe and gay, I pass my sunny hours; Content, when summer’s passed away, To perish with the flowers. What if I’m caught, in silken not, By gentle lady, dying Impaled within her cabinet. And like a mummy drying ! I would not wish a richer tomb; She’ll prize me as a treasure - Nor shall it shade my days with gloom, For mine’s a life of pleasure ! J'lines Wilbers. Anecdote of Washington. It lias often been remarked of Washington, that no one was ever in his presence without being strongly impressed by reverence for his dignity. But it seems by the following anec | dote, that at least there was one ex j eeption: When the President was procuring the ground for the city which was to j be the seat of government., he had hut j little difficulty in obtaining the neees | sary releases, except in one instance. Air. James Brvnes was the owner of a lot or tract, which it was advisable - should bo included in the plan. The General had various conferences with Air. 8., who was very obstinate, and ! resisted all the reasoning and per suasions of the great man. Indignant at being thus opposed, Washington turned upon him with indignation, and said with gnat severity, “Mr. i James Brynes, what would your land | have been worth if I had not. placed | this city on the Potomac ?” Brvnos ' was undismayed, and eoolv turned to ' , him and said, “George AVashington, what would you, have been worth if YOU had not harried the widow I CURTIS?” ; Listening to Evil Retorts. —The longer I live, the more 1 feel the im portance of adhering to the rule which I have laid down for myself in rela tion to such matters: 1. To hear as j little ns possible whatever is to the j prejudice of others. 2. To believe nothing of the kind till I arc abso lutely forced to it. A Never to drink | into the spirit of one win* circulates an evil report. 4. Always to moder ate, as far as I can, the unkiudness 1 which is expressed towards others. | 5. Always to believe that, if the other j side were heard, a very different ac count would be given of the matter.— Simeon. Common Sense.— Common sense has given to words their ordinary signifi cation, and common sense is the genius of mankind. The ordinary signification of a word is formed step by step in connection with facts; ns a fact occurs, which appears to come within the sense of a known term, it. is received as such, so to speak, nat urally; the sense of the term becomes ! enlarged and extended, and by de- j grees the different facts and different I ideas, which, in virtue of the nature ; of the things themselves, men ought, to class under this word, become in fact so classed. How many take a wrong view of life and waste their energies aud de stroy their nervous system in endeav oring to accumulate wealth, without thinking of the present happiness they are throwing away. It is not wealth or high position which makes man happy. Many of the most wretched beings on earth have both; but it is a radiant, sunny spirit, which ! knows how to bear their little trials, aud enjoy their little comforts, and thus extract happiness from every in cident in life. The Best Friend.—Tho most agree able of all companions is a simple, frank man, without any high preten sions to au oppressive greatness; one who loves life, and understands the use of it; obliging alike at all hours; above all, of a golden temper, aud steadfast as an anchor. For such a one wo gladly exchange the greatest genius, the most brilliant wit, the profouudest thinker.— Legtting. Curiosity iu children is but an ap petite after knowledge. I doubt not but one great reason why many children abandon themselves wholly to silly sports, and trifle away all their time insipidly, is because they found their curiosity baulked and their in quiries neglected.— Locke. Arnold, the writing fluid man, has made a million dollars by it. That’s the sort of an ink-come to have. ( li mill's Reply lo .5 wise Robinson- At a time when Curran was only just rising into notice, nud while he was yet a poor and struggling man, Judge Robinson, it is said, ventured upon a sneering joke which, small though it was, but for Curran’s ready wit and scathing eloquence, might have done him irreparable injury. Speaking of some opinion of counsel on the opposite side, Cnrraik said ho had consulted all his hooks, and could not find a case in which (he principle in dispute was thus established. “That may be, Mr. Curran,” sneered the judge, “but I suspect your law library is rather limited.” Curran eyed the heartless toady for a moment, and | then broke forth with this noble re taliation: “It is very' true, toy lord, j that I am poor, ami this circumstance I has certainly rather curtailed my ! library. My books are not numerous, I but they aro select, and I hope have | been perused with proper disposi lions. J have prepared myself for I this high profession rather by the | study of a few good books than by the J composition of a great many bad ones. lam not ashamed of my pov erty, but I should be ashamed of my wealth if I could stoop to acquire it by servility and corruption. If I rise not to rank I shall at least be honest, and should I ever cease to be so, j many an example shows mo that an | ill-acquired elevation, by making me I the more conspicuous, would only ; make mo the more universally and I notoriously contemptible.” Mr. Stephens. —The President call ed, to see Mr. Stephens on the tin]. When ho asked him “how are you, Mr. Stephens ? ’ he replied, “I am sinking General. My physicians do not ad mit this, I know; but I know that I am sinking and will not bo here many days longer.” The friends of the il lustrious statesman must hope that he deceives himself in consequence of j his excessive weakness. They most anxiously rely upon the opin-j ions of the physicians and trust that he will be better iu a short time, | and will be spared for the good of! his country as well as himself. Be sides that of the people of his own State, there is a wide spread national sympathy for the distinguished su;- ferer. Striiuh and Charities. —ln New Turk yesterday, while 55,000 men j out of employment, are petitioning the Legislature to appropriate $2,000,- 000 for public works, iu order to give them employment, several other thou sand are iu arms because they are asked to labor i 1 r twenty’ cents an hour instead of twenty-four, which , they have been receiving; and appro- 1 bensions arivifelr, g-’.fj disturbance of: j the peace to result from the attacks lof the strikers upon those men who may be employed to do tho labor. | This is a strange illustration of in consistency, obstinacy and blindness. ! Tho mass of mankind iu such times ! as these will be only too happy to i compromise on conditions which make comfortable subsistence possible. The Sick Man of Mexico to re ! Looked After.—A AVashington spec ial to tho New Orlunzc- Timex says, some information was received from j Mexico by the State Department on 1 Tuesday night which leads to the | opinion among army officers, that the j United States may have to interfere between the contestants for the Presi- j deucy. Fish refuses to give any hint' whatever as to the nature of his die- j patches. Ho will only say that they ! are important. A person high in authority said this morning that it j would probably lead to a cession of j the Northern Mexican States to the United States. Tiie cold in Russia has been more severe this winter than for 153 years. In St. Petersburg, on December 30, the thermometer feil to 32 degrees (Reaunnur) below zero. Several cabmen were frozen to death on their seals, and cats, pigeons, and sparrows were found dead in the streets. Large tires were kept burning at night by tiie police for the benefit of the pub lic. In Moscow the Grand Theatre was closed for want of audiences, the people being afraid to venture out in the cold. Two women and a man are under arrest in Philadelphia. They com prise the Charity Relief Association. They hired a house, put out a sign, collected money from benevolent per sons, and pocketed the urqceeds. They are said to have operated iu the same manner in other cities. The man professes to be a clergyman, and looks like one. The women are glib, pretty, and accomplished in the trick of getting subscriptions out of suscep tible men. Luioi Lucasi and Cora Blanchi, San Francisco sweethearts, had a bitter quarrel. At the end of their last in terview lie was found with a deep knife wound in his breast ; but neither he nor she will tell which inflicted it. She stays by bis bedside in the hospit al nursing him, and they are entirely reconciled. The Rhode Island House of Repre sentatives has repealed the clause of the general statutes prohibiting the intermarriage of whites and blacks. When the roll was called there were 30 yens and 30 nays. The Speaker voted iu the aifirmative. If Won’t Pay (o Ailvorti.se. O, no, it never pays any people, who can’t see beyond the end of their own nose, to sustain any public enter prise in their midst. It won’t pay lo have good schools, good churches, j clean, nice and well shaded streets in j their own city. It won’t pay to have more than half dozen hungry mer : chants, with goods on their shelves and their clerks lounging about on the counters for (ho want of custom ers to buy their goods. We admit that that won’t pay, and yet men calling 1 themselves business men, persist in ! such a course. It won’t pay farmers |to have a good newspaper in their families; but above all else, it won’t pay any people to have published in their town a well conducted weekly newspaper, for it is sure to build up every interest of its citizens, give character lo the town, and bring in men and capital, thereby causing those already citizens, to grow wealthy and enterprising; so we must con clude, in the face of all incse facts, that it won’t pay to advertise. Well, : stick to your policy, gentlemen, and ! | you will soon see your error. The Louisiana Disclosures. —The scandalous disclosures elicited bv the House committee show the “true in wardness” of the Louisiana Return ing Board in a light which must star tle and shock all honest Republican minds. It is not surprising to hear | that, under the force of these rcvcla j tions, “Gov. Wells is sick,” and that | according to a dispatch to one of the New York papers, Gov. Kellogg is ro j ported to have exclaimed, “This is h—ll, ain’t it ?” Most people will agree with what is here imputed to the Gov ernor, or that if it. isn't it ought to lie. The witnesses reveal a degree of cor i ruption or corrupt purpose not imag ined even of the Louisiana Returning Board, and a readiness on the part of I Gov. Wells, in particular, to sell out I to any and everybody, without regard . to race, party or previous condition, so I long as it would put money in his | purse. Whatever mayjbe thought of iho witnesses Maddox and others, itis very certain they cannot he worse than the Returning Board, and it was nat ural enough that, where there was such an unclean concern as that the birds of prey should gravitate to- 1 wards it. \A no dares to say that tho people |of Louisiana are not overtaxed ? Why, it is only a week or two ago 1 ! that the .whole State, property nd I people, were put up for sale at a mil lion of dollars, and found no pnreha- j sere—that wo know of.— Ne.iv Orleans ] Times. Well added, “that you know of.”! How do you know that Wells didn’t j find a purchaser ? It is hardly to be i supposed that he undertook the dirty job in which he is now engaged, and which has already cost him forgery and perjury enough to damn a whole wilderness of AVellses, without com pensation.-—Sarannah News. The Truth Coming to Light at Last. —A Herald correspondent in New Orleans claims to have informa -1 tion that Judge Miller, of the United States Supreme Court, in a letter last December to Judge Ballinger, of Gal | veston, Texas, expressed in emphatic I terms his belief that Tildun had been | elected President, and that a conspir acy existed to court in Hayes. In this letter ho also allude. 1 in severe ! terms to some acts of the administra tion iu connection with the Southern elections and the carpet-bag govern ments of Southern States, expressing the hope that “wo might yet be saved from an outrage and infamy which, if allowed to be consummated, might well make one despair of the country in which such tilings could be possible.” Grant submitted ids plan for specio resumption to the Cabinet Saturday. He thinks currency can be brought to a specie within a month, and, ac cording to the New York Herald's Washington correspondent, says “everything will come outright pretty soon for the project,” which is to issue $100,000,000 of four per cent, gold bonds to fund greenbacks, the bonds to be valid as bank reserves on depos its and security for circulation. There are many hundred thousand men in the United States who do not regard the Presidential “project” as illustra tive of linancial wisdom, though Grant evidently thinks be knows all about it. Clouds Breaking Again.—This time says the Mobile Regisi ‘i\ the clouds are actually breaking, and no mistake. The conspiracy to sell out Louisiana to anybody who would buy, and the secret dispatches to Weils under an assorted name, leave but little doubt that the grand high joint commission will put Tilden and Hendricks into the seats to which the people elected them. Now we can talk about those offices again. It is stated on good authority that President Grant has known for a con siderable time of the efforts at bargain and sale by t'-e Louisiana returning board, and that this is partly the key to liis Louisiana policy, and that the suppressed portion of bis interview early in the winter with Mr. Hewitt had reference to the facts, and was the occasion of his saying then that the vote of Louisana ought to be thrown out. A hard job for an editor—to write the obituary of a merchant who never advertised. A stay law is now under consider tion by the Pennsylvania Legislature providing among other things, “that i upon all judgments now romain | ing unsatisfied, or which may bo ob tained within six months after the passage of this net, there shall boa stay of execution for two years," pro vided the defendant is possessed of real estate, in the opinion of any court or judge in vacation, worth, at ! a fair valuation, a sum sufficient to | satisfy tlio same over and above the ' encumbrances and the amount ex j ompted from levy and sale, upon exe cution. Stay laws aro a bad device, | and nothing but the most extraordi nary state of affairs will justify them. The present Pennsylvania proposition j looks as if it were in the interests of ! land owners. A hill lias been introduced in the ; Rhode Island Legislature lo prohibit interference in State or municiple - elections by persons holding offices under the Federal Government. This furnishes conclusive evidence that even Northern Republican States are beginning to perceive that Federal usurpation in the South, if permitted, will bo extended over the whole coun try. So it will be. Peach in Furore. —Once more the European telegrams begin lo bint that peace is possible. The fact is, chill penury represses the noble rage of Russia. Times are too hard for the j expensive luxury of war, and the Turk is about getting an under-hold of Russia by the pacification of her revolted provinces. The Sultan has manifestly outgeneraled the powers in diplomacy. Tire sickest person ever known in I any community is tho Atlanta man j who bought a country' cow and en i deavored to drive her across Broad I street bridge by the usual rout. The Jcow is at home getting flier calf to [sleep, while the man is supposed to i be off somewhere searching for some | thing harder than a rock and bigger i than an anvil io kill her with. It’s come out just as everybody expected, after all. The problem (if the immortality of the soul has been j vexing for ages, and here’s Rev. Jo seph Cook, of Boston, who makes it all clear by the simple statement that “existence after death is hut a postu late of a psychological analysis of the soul. Rev. Cook deserves the thanks of a relieved world. The widow of General Braxton Bragg filed an inventory of his estate a short time since, in Galveston. It footed up SI,OOO. Ic is sad to think that one who donated liiy time and talent to the public, should pass away without leaving anything for tho sup port ol his family-. General Bragg was a patriot and honest man iu the j fullest acceptation of the terms. Avion ; the buildings recently ex humed at Pompeii is a drinking sa- 1 loon with its tables and other appur-1 tenances. The pictures frescoed up-1 on the walls represent tavern scenes.! Men are drinking and gambling ai I tables, others are seated upon wooden I benches against the walls, and others arc standing in conversation. “I iiaf cooked,” said Mr. Tilden’s ! prize cook to Mr. Lorshcituer the otu er day, “for two great men, the Em peror of Brazil and the Governor of New York, and both of them want | their dinner in the middle of the day, i and eat him in twenty minutes.” The j kitchen functionary would find Grant’s j appetite a great comfort. When great men suffer themselves : to be subdued by the length of their I misfortunes, they discover that the strength of their ambition, not of their understanding, was that which \ supported them. They discover, too, I that, allowing for a little vanity, heroes' are just like other men. Friendship and Civility.— Bo civil! and obliging to all, dutiful where j God and nature command you; butj friend to one, and that friendship j keep sacred, as the greatest tie upon earth, and be sure to ground it upon | virtue, for no other is either happy or lasting. Being directly before your own j mind the well known fact t hat children delight as much in exercising their minds as their limbs, provided only j that which is presented to them be suited to their capacities and adapted to their strength. A W isconkin inventor has patented a corn cutter, which is attached to the operator’s foot, so that every step ho \ can cut a bill of corn. When the op-1 orator makes a misstep he cuts bis j own corn, so there is no time lost. Contentment is not a brawler, nor i disturber of tin* peace, but should the sheriff want him for n purpose, he would sooner look for him iu the poor man’s cottage than in the rich man’s palace. This year the Southern States raised 10,000,000 bushels more corn than in 1875. Illinois is the largest corn grower of the Northern, Ten nessee the largest of the Southern States. Children sweeten labors, but they make misfortunes more bitter; they increase the cares of life, but they! mitigate the remembrance of death. Only one person in ten thousand lives to bo one hundred years old, and but ono in a hundred reaches sixty. An Augusta man fell into tho canal tho other night and then went homo and imagined that he had formally betrothed himself to a country lady J with till ears painted yellow, who I sent him a bouquet comprised of fat sparkling lizzards tied with a green snake with point luce eyelids. Tho betrothal lias turned out to bo alia dream, but to the cml of his life ho will remain convinced that ho received the bouquet and played with it. Lkvnino over the gate last week, says “llohokus, ' I saw approaching a | pretty girl that I had not seen before in three years. 1 exclaimed: “Well, Alollie, Tin so glad to see you that I’ve half mind to embrace you.” Drawing herself up to full height, the ' ready answer was: “Sir, do you take | me for an opportunity V” Rkv. JosKrii Cook rather unneces sarily asks, "What becomes of tho "eked?” Mr. Cook, we thought, had been in England long enough to> know that usually they practice law for a while and eventually go to tho legislature.— Norwich JJulhiin. “Wiierevi-m you find many men ! you find many minds,” exclaimed a i public speaker. “ Taint SO, by jin go! ' responded one of the auditors. | "If you ask this whole crowd out to take ad ink. you'll find them all of (he sc,io mind.” “Tm ’’said the doctor, senfon tiously. The hu.-.bnnd of a year rushed out on the back porch, thought upon his slruder ineoic", glared upon tho snow clad vard and exclaimed with a wild, mocking laugh: “Son-struck in January.” A yoono lady was recently cured of palpitation of the heart by a young M. D., in the most natural way im aginable. He held one of her hands iu his, put his arms around her waist, and whispered something iu her left ear. A Bai.timok!: aftemph 1 suicide was ■ accompanied by this note: “To the Coroner: Plea: pass my body over to the student of the Medical Univer sity of Maryland in Baltimore. Most j respectfully yours, Dead.” A rnopiiinc item:/., r remarks: Pal estine is to have a railroad, and tho cry will soon be: “All board for Je nmalem. Passengers for Moab and tho Dead Sea will [.lease remain in the forward car.” “I .v! ■[ I might die,” saida senti mental maid, as she stood rubbing the shoulder of her dress with ben zine. Ami yet tho very next time bo 1 came, she let him lay his head right iu the same spot. “No man was better included to pre-judge pork than my husband was,’ said Airs. Partington. “Ho knew wlmt good hogs were, lie did; for he had been brought up with ’em from his childhood.” "Come, Bill, it’s ten o’clock, and I think we had better bo going, for it’s time honest men wore at home.” “Y ell, yes,” was tho answer, “I must, be oft, but you need not hurry oil that account. A delated citizen, from whom a po liceman was trying to rescue a lamp [lost a few evenings ago, violently re sisted the endeavor, exclaiming: “Lemma ’lone; I’m (iiic) holel’n’ th’ : fort.” A little five year old of Dorchester somewhat surprised his mother a few j days ago with tho remark: “God is everywhere; lie is all over me; and when you spank me you spank God.” Laziness is not always evenly dis tributed over a fellow. You may have known a great many lazy people, but did you ever know anybody who diun t use his mouth enough ? \\ hat ugly looking brat is that un der tho window, Susan? Why, that, is mine, replied .Mrs. J. Oh ! call tho dear, beautiful, pretty little creature in, and let me kiss her. By don wrote: ids sweet to hear the | watch dog’s honest bark. From | which we infer that Byron never at tended a midnight sociable in a fann ers watermelon patch. ' You are a brilliant and versatile bouquet ot loveliness, ’ ho said, with a voice that was lo.v and soft, and in return she warbled: "Dry up, George; you’ve said enough.” Tins is positively the latest: I would I Here a school warm and among tho school warms baud, with a small bov stretched across my knee and a ruler in my hand. A little California girl wanted tho doctor to vaccinate tier pet dug, be cause she did nut want its com- I plexion spoiled by tlm small-pox. The saying that “there is more pleasure in giving than receiving,” is supposed to refer chiefly lo kicks, medicine and advice. The Canon City girls don’t take ; kindly to croquet. They say it’s too : high-toned for them. Leap frog is their best hold. California housewives describe soda as “that ’ere stuff you put iu biscuits to make ’em git up and Grecian bend themselves.” A daiikey’s instructions for putting on a coat were: “First de right arm, deu de left, and den give one general couwulsion.” Wnvis a mad bull an animal of a convivial disposition ? Because be offers a horn to every one he meets. These new styles of paniersdo away with newspaper bustles, and a journal must run on its merits alone,” Blown, in his honey-moon, calls his wife his saint; Jones, ten years mar* ried, sadly echoes his ain’t,. No. 51.