Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

8 HUMOR AND COMMON SEIS& —Til '1 if | How to treat a bankrupt acquaint ance—Take no note of him. The latest match —A talking match arranged between two women in Ohio. There is one man in Philadelphia who does not expect to make a fortune this year. His funeral will take place to morrow. John Linger and Joseph Halt are to walk a match at Savannah. We don’t see how such men can make good time. -Detroit Free Press. Nothing like being accurate in your statements. “Pat, what are you digging that hole for ?” “Its not the hole, sir, its the dirt I’am digging.” A celebrated wit was asked why he did not marry a young lady to whom he was much attached. “I know no reason,” he replied, “except the great regard we have for each other.” An lowa house of worship is called “the tear-down church.” There is one over in Brooklyn, that by a double shuffle of speech, might be called the break-down church.— N. Y. Herald. There was a little Biddeford boy who put a lighted match into a nearly empty powder keg to see what would happen. His curiosity is entirely satisfied, but the girl who sat next him at school thinks he looked better with his nose on. At a collection made at a charity fair a lady offered the plate to a rich man who was well-known for his stinginess. “I have nothing,” was the curt reply. "Then take something, sir,” said the lady; “you know I am begging for the poor.” A bright little three-year-old in Hart ford, having become a little mixed be tween her religious instruction and her nursery rhymes, gravely recites: “The Lord is my shepherd, and He has lost His sheep, and He don’t know where to find them.” A young lady who has been greatly annoyed by a lot of young simpletons who stop under her window at night to sing, “If ever I cease to love,” wishes us to say if they will cease that foolishness, come in and talk “business,” they will confer a favor. Mrs. John Smith’s baby was born on the 29th ult., and Mr. John Smith wants to know on what day his baby will be a year - old. This question must be con aiflayed by our American philosophers Separately from that on the rhyme for Conkling. —New York Herald A Sunday-school speaker the other pvening used the word abridgement, but immediately pulled up and remarked that as some of the younger scholars might not know its meaning, he would say that it was a synonym of epitome. The members of the infant class were affected to tears. The following new scale of postal rates has been sent us by a correspon dent: A one-cent stamp for a circulair. A two-cent stamp for a newspapair A three-cent stan p for a aealeil lettair. All picked on in the right comair. JAck, brothers, lick with care, On the right hand aide, not everywhere, Unless you want the postmaatair To make things hot, and "cuss and swear." On the recent trip of one of the Illi nois river packets, a light draught one, as tlier' were only two feet of water in the channel, the passengers were startled by the cry of “man overboard!” The steamer was stopped and preparations were made to save him, when he was heard exclaiming, “Go ahead with your old steamboat! I’ll walk behind!” A dispute about precedence once arising between a Bishop and a judge, after some altercation the latter thought he should quite confound his opponent by quoting the follvwing passage: “For on these hang all the law and the prophets.” “Do you not see,” said the lawyer, in triumph, “that even in this passage of Scripture we are mentioned first ?” I grant you,” said the Bishop, “you hang first.” Dr. McCosh (now President of Prince ton College) tells the story of a n O ro who prayed earnestly that he and his people might be preserved from what he called their “upsetting sins.” “Brudder,” said one of his friends, at the close of the meeting, “you ain’t got the hang ob dat ar word. It’s ‘besetting,’ not ‘upsetting.’ “Brudder,” replied the other, “if dat’s so, it's so. But I was prayin’ do Lord to save us from the sin of intoxication, and if dat ain't ‘upset tin’ sin, I dunno what am.” A Sh arp Retort.— One of the cars of a wcsturn bound train contained among other passengers, a clergyman, and five or six young ragamuffins, rascals who, to annoy the priest, kept scoffing at reli gion and telling disagreeable stories. The good man endured it all, hearing everything, but returning no answer, without being moved. Arrived at his journey’s end, he got out, and only re marked: “We shall meet again, my children.” “Why shall we meet again ?” said the leader of the baud. “Because I am a prison chaplain," was the reply. LOOK! LOOK!! LOOK!!! ■fft }t ? ■ i *■ ON EVERY STEAMER AND IN STORE, the following articles, wbicb I am aelllng at the very loweat rates: 500 bbls. POTATOES, all kinds. 300 “ FLOtJR, different grades. 200 “ SUGAR. 50 “ CHOICE APPLES. 25 “ CHOICE ONIONS. 20 “ NORTHERN BISCUITS, plain and fancy. 20 “ WHISKY. 10 casks ALE, Bass’ and McEwan’s. 10 “ PORTER. 50 boxes TOBACCO 25 caddies TOBACCO. 200 Boxes SOAP. 300 cases CANNED GOODS. 300 boxes CANDY, assorted. 500 sacks SALT. 100 “ COFFEE. 100 tubs BUTTER, all grades. Also a fine assortment of FANCY GROCERIES, HIGH WINES, BEGARS, and everything kept in a first class establishment. Come one, come all, and be cosvinced; what the eye sees the heart must believe. So favor me with a call, and I will endeavor to please you as to quality, price and punctual delivery of goods. Country orders respectfully solicited and promptly filled. Particular attention devoted to consignments of Country Produce. Respectfully yours, JOSEPH B. REEDY, 21 Barnard Street. feb3 PIO NONO COLLEG-E, Macon, Georgia. FULL CLASSICAL AND COMMER CIAL COURSE. THIS COLLEGE, SITUATED ON A DELIGHTFUL EMINENCE, with splendid grounds and healthy location, offers every advantage to the student of ex ercise and health. The Domestic Department and Infirmary are under the care of the Sisters of Mercy. Studies will be resumed TUESDAY, September 28. Board, Tuition, Washing, Bedding, per year.... 5270 00 sepll C. P. GABOURY, President. N. €. COLLIER, Attorney at Laxw, CORNER BAY AND DRAYTON BTREETB, (Over Savannah Bank and Trust Company.) sepll JOSEPH GOETTE, Undertakers’ Ware-Room, 13? Broughton Street, Savannah, Ua. (Between Bull and Whitaker.) A FINE AND WELL SELECTED STOCK OF METAL IC, Mahogany, Walnut * Grained and Stained Coffins Coffin Plates and Trimmings always on hand. Neatest Hearses and Carriages furnished for funerals Ice Cases for preserving remains in the warmest weather Remains disinterred, boxed and shipped. Orders from the Country promptly attended to. Personal attention given to all Orders, and can be found at anv time at the Ware-Rooms. sepll-ly JAMES L. MURPHY, bake; r, 72 Bryan Btroet, 176 Broughton Street, and Stall 39 Market, sepll-tf SAVANNAH, GA. PIANOS, CHURCH AND PAR LOR ORGANS AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS of every descriptio Tuned and repaired willi neatness and dispatch. THOMAS B. TURNER 134 State street Savannah. J. FLEMING-, Boot and Shoe Maker, 32 Bull Street. A full stock of Gentlemen's Boots and Shoes always on hand and made to order. sepll THE LARGEST AND BEST SELECTED STOCK OF seaars, Tobaccoes. Nmiff, Pipes &e., in the City re now on exhibition at MOLINA’S SE6AR EMPROIUM, Comer of Bull and State Streets, at WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. Call in and satisfy yourselves pov27] THE SOUTHERN G^OSS/ THE SOUTHERN CROSS JOB OFFICE, No. 136 Bay Street, (Between Bull and Whitaker.) o WE ARE NOW PREPARED TO DO ALL KINDS OF JOB WORK, SUCH AS T Business Cards, Visiting Cards, Wedding Cards, Dance Cards, Postal Cards, Railroad Tickets, Election Tickets, Ball Tickets, Show Tickets, Deposit Slips, Gutter Snipes, Dodgers, Receipt Books, Wedding Invitations, Party Invitations, Society Summons, Bank Checks, Bank Notices, Bill Iliads, Note Heads, ‘ Letter Head®, Tags, Drafts, Notes, Envelopes, Note Circulars, Invoices, Prescription Blanks, Druggists’ Labels* Society Certificates, Cotton Statements, Money Receipts, Schedules, Time Tables, Posters, Account Sales, Pamphlets, Bills of Fare, Catalogues, I * ; ■ Lawyers Briefs, i j Sooiety By-Laws, Date Lines, Hand Bills, | Badges, Programmes, etc., etc., etc. At Prices to Suit the Times ! L - v. ’ j and respectfully solicit the patronage [ot our friends 1 and the publii. {sepll JMrrrttermrnta, B .O JAS. McCINLEY, Carpenter and Builder. JOBBING PROMPTLY ATTENPED TO. No. 6 Whitaker St root, *epll-tf SAVANNAH, GA. THE WOKLD’S FAVORITE THE OLD RELIABLE TJHI 1-8 SnSTGER Sewing: Machine!! Over 1,900,000 Sold. THE SINGER MANUFACTURING COMPANY, last year, brought their sales up to the astonish ing figure of 241,619; Heating their For midable Competitor 148,882; but sales of that competitor show a FALLING OFF in 1874, as com pared with 1873, over 26,000 Machines; where the Rales of the SINGER COM PA NY show an INCREASE year bv year, and the sales of the other Companies, for several years at least, show a DECREASE. The com parative rales of a Machine constitute a good criter ion of its merits, and more especially so when the rule in question has been thoroughly tested through a se ries of years. If you want a good machine, buy the BINGER. It will do more work with less adjust ment than any other. It will sew lighter and heavier goods than any other; and 241,679 people, last year, pronounced it the best Sewing Machine. The Singer Manuf’g Cos., 1?Z Broughton Mtreet, Savannah, Ca. Branches and Agencies in every City and County in the United States. SAVANNAH Catholic Book Store. THE UNDERSIGNED WISHES TO INFORM HIS friends that he keeps constantly on hand the princi pal Catholic Publications, and all articles of devotion, such as— PRAYER BOOKS, In any style of bindings, BIBLES, IRISH NATIONAL WORKS, CONTROVERSIAL WOBKB, ANNUALS, ALBUMS, CATECHISMS, MEDALB. CRUCIFIXES, ROSARY BEADS, BCARPULARB. NEWBPAPERS, PERIODICALS, LACE PICTUREB, SCHOOL BOOKS, ftc„ Ac., Ac. Special attention is called to my full supply of School Books, and School Requisites, as I make this branch of my business a specialty. Subscriptions received lor all the leading Catholic Newspapers and Magazines, at home and abroad. Any book not in stock, promptly procured and de livered at the purchaser’s house. Books, sent by mail, free of postage, on receipt of Publishers’ prices. E. M. CONNOR, Corner of State and Jefferson streets 23 Bull street, And News Stand, in front oi Post Office, sepll BAVANNAH, GA. fpfillij |||g|p£g| GROCERIES! FINE GROCERIES, FRUITS, FANCY MEATS, VEGETABLES, CANNED GOODS, JELLIES, CRACKERS, PRESERVES, TOBACCO, SEGARS, Ac. CABBAGES, POTATOES, ONIONS, APPLES, ORANGfeS, BANANAS, PEAKS, GRAPES, LEMONS, RECEIVED FRESH BY EVERY STEAMER. Orders from the Country promptly attended to. A. DOYLE, 73 St. Julian and 54 Congress Streets, I sepll-6m SAVANNAH. GEORGIA. ;0. -A— 3P. o ATTEN T i O N! IF YOU (VANT GOOD COFFEE, TEA, or SUGAR, SARDINES, OLIVES, CAPERS, SALAD OIL, BRANDY PEACHES, PEARS, or CHERRIES, PICKLES, CATSUPS, SAUCES, MINCE MEAT, EGO NOGG, PLUM PUDDING, CONDENSED MILK, FINE BUTTER, CHEESE, or LARD, BASKETS, BUCKETS, TUBS, BBOOMS, BRUSHES, FINE LIQUORS, WINES, 4c., &o. For Family or Medicinal Use, Call on H, T. Ql 11V AN, sepll 103 Broughton, cor. Drayton street. March 25th, 1876. Spring Schedule. OFFICE OF COAST LINE RAlT.unxn CO. ( SaVANNAH, 6i., February 16th. 1876. J 0 N afte J *; brua 7j. trains on the eubnrban portion of this road will run as follows- * WEEK DAYS. ’ WEAVE | LEAVE | LEAVE j LEAVE _ SAVANNAH. | l'fatanEßßOLT | SAVANNAH. j THCNOERB’T „ 6:60 A. M. . - 3.35 p, If. 6160 p. u. 10:36 A. M. 12:50 p ,H. | 6:45 e. m. | ,„ c ° nnectin S Street ,-ars Rave West Broad street at 10:10 A. H„ 3:10 p. M., 6:10 P. M. Saturday evening’s last suburban train lcavesSavan nah tor Thunderbolt at 8:38 p. m., instead of 6:46 p. m. SUNDAYS. T~ LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE SAVANNAH. THUNDERBOLT SAVANNAH. THUNDEBB’T 9:00 4:00 p. M. 4:30 P. K. !® : ®s A ' “• 11:10 A - • 6:00 p. M. 5:30 p. H. 12:00 M. 12:60 p. h. 6:30 p. m. 3:00 P. M. | 3:30 p. M. Saturday and Sunday afternoons, street cars will be run passing all points on line of Road every 10 min ! u tes. E. J. THOMAS feb26-lm General Agent and Acting Superintendent Savannah and Charleston R.R. Office Savannah A Cbakleston R. R. Cos.. 1 Savannah, January 23,1876. ) AND AFTER MONDAY, JANUARY 24th inst., , .y the Passenger Trains on this Road will run as ; pfeoE^M^ NTIC AND GrjLF EAILROAD r.e^ e Y SavaSat ER I*™??*. "Tma.M. Arrive at Port Royal at..., 2:30 P. M. Arrive at Augusta at 4-00 p. M. Arrive at Charleston at 4 ; 20 P.* m! Leave Port Royal at. 10-20 A M Leave Augusta at 8:30 A. m! Leave Charleston at 8:15 A M Arrive at Savannah at m! Connection made at Charleston with North-eastern and South Carolina Railroads; at Augusta with Georgia, Charlotte, Columbia and Augusta, and South Carolina Railroads. NIGHT PABBENGER TRAINS (Daily)- Leave Savannah at 10:20 P. M. Arrive at Port Royal at 4 30 Am! Arrive at Augusta at ” 7-20 A M Arrive at Charleston at g-30 a \r Leave Port Royal at 11-45 P M Leave Augusta at ” 8-40 P M Leave Charleston at . 8-30 P M. Arrive at Savannah at .* *** 7 .qq a. m! Connection made at Charleston with Northeastern* and South Carolina Railroads, and at Augusta with Georgia and South Carolina Railroads. P U t PLACE BLEEPING CARS RUN THROUGH NIGHT TRAINS? CHAKLESTON A * ND ATLANTA ON Tickets fop sale at R. R. Bren’s *nd L. J. Gazan's Special Ticket Agencies. No. 21 Bull street and Pulaski House, also at Depot Ticket Office. ®-' OLNEY, Rec. C. S. GADSDEN, febjb-tf Engineer and Superintendent. Allan Line. Steam Between Baltimore, Liverpool and Queenstown. THE SPLENDID SCREW STEAMERS OF THE above Line will run as follows: From Liverpool. From Baltimore. Swdbmn Mar. 7,’76. March 29, 7*. m. Austrian Mar. 21.’76. April 12,9 a.m. Nova Scotian... April 4, ’76. April 12 9a. m Hibernian April 18, ’76. May 10,’ 9a. m. And henceforth every fortnight. Taking passengers and freight to and from Liverpool. [PRICES OF PASSAGE: Baltimore to Liverpool or Queenstown — £bin $75 Gold. Steerage 28 Currency. Liverpool or Queenstown to Baltimore— Cabin $94 60 Gold. Intermediate 47 25 Gold. At which prices parties desiring to send for (Maw friends can obtain tickets. These Bteamers have the very best accommodations for passengers. Through Bills Lading issued to Amsterdam, Roter dam, Hamburg, London. Antwerp, and Havre. For freight or passage apply to the Agents. A. SCHUMACHER k CO., sep2s No. 9 South Charles street Baltimore. WINTER SCHEDULE Savannah, Charleston and Flor ida Steam Packet Line. THE SPLENDID SIDE-WHEEL STEAMERS CITY POINT, DICTATOR, Capt. J. W. Fitzgerald, Capt. Leo Vogel, Will sail EVERY WED- Will sail EVERY SUN NESDAY, at 12 o’clock m. DAY at 12 in. FROM DE RENTE’S WHARF. SAVANNAH.| For Fernandin; . .Jackson ville, Paftukn. And all Way Landings on :t. . uhn's River, con necting at Palatka with steamers k i Upper M. John s and Oclawalia Rivers. RETURNING : CITY POIJVT, DICTATOR, Will arrive at Savannah Will arrive at Savannah every SATURDAY morn- every THURSDAY morn ing, and sail for CHARLES- ing.andsailforCHAßLES TON, S. C., at 7 o'clk a. m. TON, S. C. at 7o'clk a. m. Through tickets to the North, by water or rail-route, sold on board steamer. Freights received daily. Rates as low as by other lines. For freight or passage apply to BRAINARD & ROBERTSON, Agents. Office on wharf. novl3-ly Xotice to the Public. WoocHWood! Wood! Established 1850. WE. THE UNDERSIGNED, WOULD RESPECTFULLY inform our customers and the public generally, that j we are still to be found at our old yard, at Central Railroad Bridge, and would be pleased to receive their | orders for wood, sawed or unsawed, as now is their ; time to lay in their winter stock. We will make a ! liberal discount to large buyers. We will pay strict ! attention to measure, and have our order boxes looked ' after daily. W’e keep constantly on hand Oak, Hick | ory, Dry Pine, Lightwood, and the best**/ Black-Jack ; Wood. We sell low for cash, or to responsible parties monthly. D. H. Harmon, Esq., is our collector, until further j notice. Our O' dor Boxes can be found at— Jacob Li ppm tail's, Market square; Miss Schmidt’s Bakery, Whitaker, one door from York st.; Wm. Hone corner Bull and Bay sts.; J. Quint’s Bakery, corner Liberty and Abercorn sts.; Dr. W. H. Clay’s Drug Store, West Broad and Stewart sts.; Peter Schaffer’s Bakery’ corner Tattnall and Huntingdon sts. oct23 „ JAMES M. BUTLER k SON. RED STORE. I keep constantly on hand a fine stock of all qualities of COFFEE, TEA, SPICES, which will be sold at low er prices than any establishment in the city. This la the "Original Red Store," Remember the place, 1110 BROUGHTON STREET. THOMAS BTONE. Coflee parched every day. seplß-ly 18.A.-'ST HOUSE, ~ Comer of Bay and Jefferson Streets. SPLENDID BOARD AND PLEASANT ROOMS, ONLY $6 per week; Day Board, $1 50. Satisfaction gnaran eed. [eep2s-tfl YORK 4 HELLER.