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SUMMERVILLE. GEORGIA. NOVEMBER I, 1877.
Kissing Through the Bars.
When 1 was but. a boy in years,
Near seventy years ago,
1 met a romping, laughing girl - M
Pure as the driven snow;
From spellin m from singing school,
t eneath the glittering Mars,
Law lieu home, but at the gate
a 1 kissed her through tin* bars.
* And often, the . when going by
Her house at veutK.e,
I'd whistle that faniyliai strain
’Oh, come! AlyDoiii y Uri el”
When to the road’' he'd tdush qborne,
Ilright as the evening stars.
And clasp my hand so lovingly.
Then kiss me lurough the bars.
Now old Aid gray, and bent withyi ars
Wh le in my easy chair,
I sit and dream of youthful days.
And hopes one oright mid fair;
And fancy 1 am young again,
And gazii. g on the stars
While waiting for iuv love to come
And kiss me through the bars.
While by my side sits my old wife,
With furrows on her brow;
Put to me there sLeen no change
From blu-hing youth, till now;
But fairer grow with lapse of year#
Her love like twinkling stars,
lias never changed since first she met
And Kissed me through the bars
God bless this old gray wife of mine
For w I at she's ever been #
SinCe tlrst we met tit spoiling school,
Ami .all the years since then;
Ami often now in walking out
Beneath the tamo bright stars,
She slyiy asks me how 1 and like
To kiss her through the bars.
Though sevent y years ha ve bleached our hair
White as the n ountain snow,
But to me she looks as fair
0 As fifty years ago—
When roses liioom upon her cheeks,
With eyes that shamed the stars
* As when a boy 1 saw her home,
And kissed her through the bars
Ibo Marvelous Doings
—of
PRINCE ALCOHOL.
A DUISAM.
BY REV. JAMES A. CLEMENT.
CHAPTER I -CoNTINUKD.
“Friends and Confederates—V ou have
heard the .statements of A hie. hoi: they urc
no doulil true. I questioned him rather
for your satisfaction than my own; fori
have known him wed, and tavorably lor
a tony time., lie se ms to be made of
the right sort of stuff. Shall 1 enlarge
his powers, renew his commission and
send him back to Earth to destroy souls!
and tight against Emmanuel?”
“Aye, aye, aye!” suuncled and re
sounded through the Fit
Satan now dictated to his t liief Secre
tary the terms of the new commission. In
the language of Earth, it runs thus:
“Kingdom of l-’andetiionium, I Know all
State of Fire and Brimstone, j Deatons
I-. these presents. that by my my*l nod,
! with the eon: nut, And approbation of
! the t ran i Council of Pandemonium, it
I is ordained that the bearer of this, Alco
hol, is to lie known nod tocogoized by * 11 e
I tenii and title of I’kince Ar.eouoi,. He
is my faithful servant, a devil cf vast
| merit—and, wherever i.e twos, let him be
J counted worthy of double honor. And,
moreover, I do hereby constitute, a] >-
! point and establish him Chief Governor
an 1 Generalissimo over ail my fortifica
tions, troops and provinces on earth; only
in the throne will I he greater than he.
He is invested with full, plenary, and per
fect right and power, to devise such plans,
iiuct such laws, ant) perform such acts
as he may dutm be* calculated to annoy
the flffe‘of Emmanuel —my great and
dreaded enemy—ytnd promote tile misery
and secure thmdestructinn of souls. lie
is clothcd i)h lull paw, r to lie, cheat,
steal, murder, to attack by open violence
or secret craft. :ihu weak and the sti mg,
the simple and th%wi.~c, the noble and
tlie ignoble, the poor, rulers,
judges, lawyers, physicians, preachers, in
line, all sorts, clas.-esai and callings of men,
women arid children, lie has already ac
complished much in this way, for which
he has my thanks and the thanks of
demons in the empire; hut lie i- now,
strictly charged to double his vigilance,
and put forth his whole might, lie A
sjiriMillji ordered to cnsintfc the. younfj .
lie will feels it Lis bounded duly t,o keep
his eye upon the nobility. But most
especially is lie charged and commanded
to carry the war into tl e encani| merits
and forts ofwJtSnmanuel. To wound m-yd
great enemy in the house of his friends is
time su-est way of effecting my j.impose*
Prince Alcohol is authorized,***! required
’to look well to those provinces on earth
where my interests have received special
detriment. In that part of the world
we cail America, especially that part of
America which is denominated thtj united
State-, I have met witji some heavy dis
asters. Emmanuel has there separated
Church ant) State —a thing which has
I caused i!tb f mareh'hiftftritation. i here also
i he lias united Conscience, established in
, a Strong garrison Religious Liberty,
1 thrown up a formidable entrenchment
i against established—religion, wrested the.
i fagots, fire and sword from the hands of
i of Persecution, my faithful servant, and
| opened an asylWfsr.'tho oppressed and
I persecuted of all nations. I must have
j >*evengfpp Prince Alcohol! pour out, all
i the leagues and curses ol the pit upon
j that hatedJLd! They are fond of liberty;
talk ruuclW freedom, natural arid un
alienable rights, and they will listen to
you—as they listen with unguarded and
unsuspecting hearts, bind them font.
I ijyny own name, and in the name of
this great assembly of demons, I solemnly
charge you to have constant regard to
this part of your royal commission. In
short, in every place, and in every way,
use every nerve id' thine arm and every
energy of thy soul, to stir up, spread and
perpetuate every species of misery and
crime. You are instructed to go on after
the manner you have hitherto done—
though with tenfold energy—and push
men and women into the corners of fences,
into ditches and mud lutes, to multiply
prisons, hospitals and halters; to break
Harms, legs, noses and skulls; stir up riots;
multiply diseases, cover the faces of men
with blotches, rot then- bones, turn their
I stomachs inside out,.bloat them up into
; scare-crows, burn their lights, livers and
intestines, load thorn down with all matt
net 1 of infirmities and plagues.
“And finally, you are most ciuphnti
cully charged to exert all your diabolical
skill and power to raise a greater army of
volunteers than you have ever done, and
. by till possible craft and force to conduct
them along to this place of torment. To
aiil you in these operations I put under
your command an additional army of ten
myriads ol the bravest demons that are
to Le found in my vast empire.
Farewell, most noble 1 Vince. Be faith
ful, and I wid abundantly reward you.
, ■ —., In testira tty whereof
l HELL’S j I have set tny own hand
I and athxed hereunto the
| /.' aiLI 5 I Great Brimstone seal id'
, 's, />ioi ei ! Pandemonium.
i2*?V:p SATAN
.' I President of the Grand
l, veau 1. I (lounciL and f
the Powers oMJPuchs
Beel/.ebei!, Chief Secretary.
Prince Alcohol received ties, his Com
mission, with joy, and '.he Grand Coun
cil raised a tremendous shout. Thu arches
of Pandemonium shook, and the key
stones leaped from their places. The
* Prince now collected his re-enforcements,
' hastens hack to Earth, and re commences
1 his operations. The first, thing he docs
is to issue his Proclamation, i record it
’ errliii'iin as I read it in my dream. It
runs thus:
“Province of Earth, \
State of Misery and Death, j
1, Prince Alcohol, The Benefactor, to
the inhabitants of Earth, send salutations-
Hear ye, nations, kindred and tongues—
especially ye dear, precious men and
women of Chiistendom. Having been
recently appointed, commissioned and
empoweted by my r, Satan, Pie-i
ilent-jif t|gjGrand Council, and Prince nf
the JK ngdouijiM Pandemonium, with lull
aulflu'ity to take charge of this part ol
his Dominion.-, for the express
arid"xWiJPr purp iso of alleviating the
many stumv.- and woes ol the mhali-
Hants 4hereof, I proceed under a full
si use i f my obligations, tc issue this my
first Proclamation:
l!a it known, therefore, that many
great and good plans have been devised
of late for t! e alleviation of human woo;
! great men assist it, sustaining them, and
great success attends their operations.
In tlmse tlpiigs I heartily rejoice. But
shall 1 he satisfied with simply express
ing my joy at your pros polity/ No; I
must aid in tins good work. 1 feel irte
si.-iably stirred up to do more tl.au I have
e .eryet attempted for the advancement
of 3 our dearest interests. ] tun the lover
of men, the promoter ol human bliss, and
my ability to bestow happiness on all
wito will iccoive it from my hands, is
equal to my thirst for doing good. lam
no deceiver; I am no respecter of per
son-. Come all nations, till ranks, and
prove the sincerity of my friendship. I
can tin wonders, and with humility 1
speak it. I can give wisdom, health,
strength, joy, riches. I can warm the
cold, cooPtho hot, cheer the drooping,
heal the sick, a’d the industrious, and
make the sluggard dream sweetly. I. Can
whet the wit. brighten the understand
ing, purify the passions, improve the
social [lowers, oil the tongue, and render
bUpple limits; lean make a churl nohle
• hearted and benevolent, a Very as patri
otic as Washington, cowards as brave as
Bonanar.e, beggars as rich as Croe.-u.p,
cripples as fleet as a a roebuck, fools as
wise : : Solon. I can render your paths
smooth and pleasant, pluck thorns from
your pillows, and drown in a flood of pure
delight your most distrtjs.dng sorrows. I
can make the mind of the King and the
fatherless‘child to ho all one; of the
bondsman, and of (be freeman, of the
poor man, of the rich; yea, f cati turn
every thought into jolity and mirth, so
that a man vcmioinWjjfctli jobber sorrow
nor dcOtq. I can niake clary jdfcirf rich,
Wjbut a Mm Mfcimiprotit neither King
fiflWßoTernor; aiidW can make to speak
al! things by talents, and when they are
in their cups, I make them forgot tht'ir
loykbfl*hto friends and brethren, and a
*jiuTe after draw out swords; but when
they are from the wine they wiUMfruem
be/nol wlmt they have dono. *
F*o from hence, O ye inhabitants of
Eirth; yyseo cieaily and readily shut I
anrt.be Very elixir of life, the qtitntessdffSf
of tins-, the great twtnnnun bonnvi of
carfliH I can do everything which ought
to be done to make the whole world what
once a little portion of it j
of Ed nit Ail this is truth, normrjg but !
the triMbf nay, not one-halfl’tTio truth, |
for ;i tfiousari'l brass trumpets would bo J
worn to atoms in sounding out all n y ;
just [iraises.
Ye I’qtdfitatcs. Legislatois, and other j
great met) of-the earth, think it not be- |
ncath you[o to my banner. Many |
of you 1 tiave the happiness of calling ,
my soldiers already, hut l wish, you all
to seek tho -Minor which I have it in my
jiower to give, kflt’.ldren, youths dear
little creatures—now my tender heart j
loves you! 0, come and prove my vtr- j
tucs, whilst your yielding minds can ho
rightly fashioned. Parents, plead n:y
cause, and bring up your little ones in
the way that, they should go, and when
they get old they will not depart from it.
Ladies, charming ladies, ye ladies of
earth, the pride and boast and ornan cut,
of creation, cotue into my ranks; I have
a place lor you. Let your sweet tongues
repeat my praise; let your angelic hands
wield weapons adorned with diamonds
and gold in my defence. And, 0 Chris
tians, dear Christians, you are the delight
of my soul. I need the aid of your
precious example. Allow me to call you
my friends anu soldiers, and 1 can soon
prevail on all ttie rest of the world to bo
happy. Many of you are lazy and dull;
ah, f can set your souls on fire, and
you as bold as Peter, as eloquent, usMtpol
los. and as zealous as Paul.
But why particularize? 1 speak to all.
Come old, come young, come rich, come
poor, noble and ignoble, bond and free,
Jew and Gentile; come each, everyone—
all, ami allow me to complete your bliss,
lu testimony whereof, 1 have hereunto
subscribed my own name and allixcd
my seal.
1 PRINCE ALCOHOL,
( ' “ “ j The Benefactor.”
This Proclamation rang through the
nations, more especially through pious
Christendom; and many men, women and
children shouted for joy, especially
through the United States. Though this
great bragging was proof enough of Al
cohol's villainy, yet they said, “It is die
voice of a god, and not of man.”
[continued in our next.J
A Vagrant Philosopher.
In the hip pocket of an old vagrant,
pulled in by the police the other night,
was a memorandum book full of his own
writing with pencil, and some of his phi
losophy is good enough to he preserved.
His first paragraph reads:
“Drinking had whisky because it is
offered free is like getting in the way of
bullets purchased by an enemy.”
A second reads:
“Honesty is ttie best policy, but some
folks are satisfied with second best.. It. is
hard to he honest on an empty stomach.”
A third runs:
“A dry plank under a rain roof shed is
better than a feather bed in jail, and one
isn’t annoyed by the bringing in a
square breakfast.”
A fourth says: _
“Pay as you go. T#nu havn’t any
thing to pay with, dou'f go. If you are
forced tii go, record indebtedness
and let your heirs settle tile bills.”
The fifth explains:
“We should have charity for all.
When the winter winds blow cold and
drear we vags should pity the poor fellows
in India who are having red dipt weather.
A sixth is recorded:
“Politeness costs nothing, but it is not
expected that you will wake a man up at
midnight to ask permission to go through
his hen In use. Ft is more courteous to
let him enjoy his needed repose.
The seventh, and last, was noted down
as follows:
“When you pick up an apple core do
not find fault because it is not the apple
itself, Lut bo satisfied with the grade of
descent. Do not be ashamed of your
occupation. We cannot all he lords, not
can we all ho vagrants. As 1 cannot be
a lord I shall not lament at being a
vagrant. Be truthful and outspoken-
That is, tcdl them you are a Chicago fire
sufferer. Keep seasonable hours, or
some other vag will get your plank first.
Be hopeful, cheerful, and good natured.
Growling wou’tcure asore heel. — Detroit
F. ee I ’ecu.
Wilt:‘tß is Hem,.—“l wish to ask you
a question,” said Mr. Sharp to our min
ister, as he mot him in the street. “I
am anxious to know where hell is. 1
have read the Bible geogtaphies, histo
ries and other books, and 1 can t liud out
where it is exactly.’ .
The young minister, placing his hand
on his shoulder, and looking earnestly
into his eyes,applied encouragingly:
*\My dear S-r, do not be d.scouragcd;
1 am sut e you will find out after a while.
As for myself, I lnve made no inquiries,
and really don’t wish to know where hell
is. About heaven I have thought, and
read and studied a great deal. 1 wish to
make that my home, and really don’t
wish to know where hell is. About heaven
I have thought, and read, and slueiud a
great deal. I wish to make that my
home, and by the grace of God I will.
Ask me about heaven and 1 can talk. 1
don’t know where bell is, and you had
beticr not Hod out.”
A Long Time Between Dkinks.—
During the recent convention of Govern
ors in New York, the Governor of North
Carolina rose to make hi.s usual remark,
but observing that the Governor of Bos
ton was present, lie so far aiuenueu tlie
original resolution as to say to the Gov
(uomr Carolina that the leaden
MR oiHlow unfolding wings haddrag
geit their weary lengths in mock .eterni
ties nigh halfway around the tiresome
dial plate, since last night they bent the
pregnant hinges of the elbow and touch
ed with earthly nectar rare, from old
Kentuek s copper bottomed stills, the
parched lips, to cool with gurgling dewi
ness the d.y and whist.ing throat- hur j
any ton lluurlci'j/o.
A scientific authority states that “a
simde female housc-tty will produce in
one season 20,080,.'520 eggs-” Great guns!
What must the married ones do'/
NUMBER 44.
Sage Maternal Counsels.
“Eliza,” said a fond mother to her
offspring on Saturday, as that offspring
was about going forth in tow of a young
man who worships the very sidewalk she
walks upon, “Flliza, go to the bread-box
and eat a good big crust of bread before
you go out.” “Why, maw,” replied the
blushing girl, “I don’t feel the least
hungry. We’ve only just had tea.” “I
know it, but yousAvill he hungry before
you get back, and when Adolphus takes
you into a restaurant you’ll eat ice-cream
and sponge cake and ham sandwiches,
and oysters enough to scare him out of a
year’s growth. You silly girls don’t
think of this, but we experienced women
do. 1 was once young and giddy myself,
uid but for sixty-five cents’ worth of
umcearoons —a cal e for which I have
ever since entertained the most profound
contempt—your paw would have been a
Congressman, with an aquiline nose and
I lyperian curls. Beware how you sit
down on the budding flame of Cupid.
Of course, Adolphus will spend the
money y< u save him on billiards and
things, but that, makes no difference.
When he asks you to go in and have some
oysters, even if you are hungry, don’t.
Say you do not approve of girls wasting
the money of their future husbands oil
idle trifles, when it might be applied
toward furnishing a house, l'oint out
that for the cost of an oyster stew you
might purchase a couple of towels, now
that toweling is so cheap, and that a
saddle-rock roast is the equivalent to a
silver fork—plated of course, but not
easily distinguished from solid silver —or
a glass sugar bowl. This always takes
the young men; it sets them to thinking
of housekeeping and matrimony; it
makes them believe that you are the in
carnation of economy, and would mako
an excellent wife; and so they often say
things which give you a hold over them,
or are effective before a jury.” Eliza
treasured up these sagacious counsels of
the authoress of her being, and acted
upon him with such earnestness and effect
that when she came homo she was au
engaged woman.
-♦* ♦ **
Start-no in the World.—Many an
unwise parent labors hard aud lives spar
ingly all his life lor the purpose of leav
ing enough to give his children a start in
thu world, ns it is called. Setting a young
man afloat with money left him by his re
lations is like tying bladders under the
arms of one who cannot swim; ten
chances to one he will lose his bladders
ami go to the bottom. Teach him to
swim, and he will never need the blad
ders. Give your child a sound
and you have done enough for him. See
to it that his morals are pure, his mind
cultivated, and his whole nature made
subservient to the laws which govern
man, and you have given him what will
be of more value than all the wealth of
the ludias.
Mustard Poultice.— ln making mus
tard poultices people generally use lar
too much mustard, which is rather dele
terious than beneficial. Whenever you
have occasion for mustard poultices,
make them as follows: Into about agill
of boiling water, slir a tablecpoon full of
the best yellow 1 Indian meal. Spread
this on a cloth, and then over it spread a
a thin layer of mustard mixed with a
little cold water.
“I must say there is some of the mean
est negroes in this town that ever I saw,”
said a negro clergy man in Elizabeth, Ky.,
on resigning his pastorate. “They can
tell the biggest lies, and put on the long
est faces, and couie to church looking as
m an as the Old Boy, and he—they can
outlie* Satan. Some of them have got
two wives, and still say they arc going to
heaven.”
The rather notorious Dr. Kelsey, who
has been accused of an outrage upon the
fffiVsun of Miss Alice Kennedy, of Fulton
county, and who h'.tu left Atlanta to avoid
the penalty of the law, as was stated,
was arrested at Rcsaca by Detective
Mumghan, and returned manacled to
the Gate City to face Die serious char b e
preferred against him.l
Within a few miles of the fortunate
town of Evansville, Ind., are a three
legged dog, a pet hog with no eyes, a
man who is about tu marry his daughter
in-law’s sister, two other men who have
wedded each other’s daughters, a young
man who espoused the mother of his de
ceased wife, and several variations of the
Enoch Arden type.
Wax for Cans.—Rosin, eight ounces;
two ounces gum shellac; beeswax hulf .au
ounce. If you wish it red, take English
Vermillion, one and a half ounces; molt
the rosin and stir in in the coloring (if
used), t lie it add the shellac slowly; after
wards the beeswax. It can be heated
whenever needed.
“Ain’t it pretty?” said Mrs. H., hold
ing up her new bonnet. “There’s some
charming ideas in that, I can tell you.”
“Glad of it, ’J said John. “It’s just as
well to have ideas somewhere about your
head, your know.” In two seoonds he
hud ur. “idea" that he saw stars.
“I am busy ploughing and cannot stop
to entertain company,” was the substance
ol a note sent by a Michigan belle in re
ply to an intimation that a gentleman de
s:,cd to see her.