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VOLUME V.
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SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, MARCH 28, 1878.
CASK IT on OF THAT.
He wn* a lorn*, slim nmn, with every
•Pl tear, .nee of hard times, and a long
nose ou his face. He went into a
saloon on M in street, Detroit, aud
said to the bar-keeper:
“ Prei>are me a glass of the cheerful
invigorator."
The bar-keeper looked him all over,
looked at his clothes, and answered:
“First allow my eyes to rest upon
tho complexion of your currency.”
“ In my purse l have numerous and
various denominations of the currency
of our realm, with which I will cheer
fully requite you, when I have par
taken of your refreshments,” said tho
long man, tupping his pocket.
The bar-keeper said he didn’t know,
but finally poured out it glass of the
liquor. The long man grasped it
eagerly, backed up to the stove, and
eye i t lie contents of tho glass with a
critical air.
“They tell me that in one of our
Western cities, divers wicked men
bate been en. iged in the fraudulent
manufacture of this article. Is it
so ?”
The bar-keeper said he believed if
was. The long man , enr ' led the
pi, ss, and put it on tne counter. Then
he said:
“It is passing strange that in on
age when knowledge is disseminated
so freely, that truth and virtue are not
paramount. Instead, Ignorance and
vice run riot, and the papers teem
with accounts of new rascalities un
earthed each day.”
“There’s fifteen cents to pay for
that whiskey,” interrupted tho bar
keeper.
“Our country Is just entering upon
her existence for another century. It
Is fearful to reflect that at the end of
• century she may be still further ad
vanced in crime. Just look hack and
g ee
“ Yes, I know; but just pay me for
that glass of whiskey, and then you
can bounce,” broke in the bar-keeper,
•ngi ily.
“ Peace, my friend,” said the long
nmn. “ You ask of me that which is
utterly beyond the bounds of possi
bility."
“Do you mean to say that you
haven’t any money ?” Inquired the
bar-keeper, the short heir on the back
of his head standing out horizontally.
“Such, my esteemed friend, is the
ooneluslon which you may draw from
my feeble remarks,” said the long
man.
The bar-keeper turned back his
cuffs, spit on his hands, and bounded
•lrlly over the bar Ho grasped the
long man firmly by the scruff of the
neck, and began waltzing toward the
door, Implanting kick after kick in
that ixirtlon of the long man’s frame
which nature designed to be kicked.
They reached the door safely, and
•s the bar-keeper, with a kick of ex
traordinary dimensions, shot the long
man through it, ho sententiously ex
claimed :
“ Take it out of that!”
A BKOLLATIII.S- THAT OCGIIT TO EE
EIiOUr.Ai'EIJ.
Here is a funny little story of tho
SPu Fq angled Circumlocution Office.
Sew rat years ago a gentleman of Troy
hoe.;lit t.vo books and read them.
Wiulo iending them he made certain
cointneiiis upon the matter of the
ookson the margins of several peges.
A few months ago ho loaned t.icse
books to a relative who before finish
ing them went to Denver, Colorado,
to reside. A week ago this person
deposited in the Post Office at Denver
these two book, properly wrapped in
accordance wiih the rules of the Post
Office Department, and v.-ith the pro
per amount in postage stamps upon
them to pay the prescribed postage
on books. Somewhere on the puma
Postmaster opened the hooks (ee be
h-w a right to do:, and finding win mg
upon the pages, be charged up he >r
posiuge, ami tie innocent owner of
the books is inquired to )>y el and”
postage. Now if the borrower of the
books Lad written a letter to the
lender upon leaves of the books, or
had thus attempted to impart any in
formation to him, then we can see
eotue reason why the postage should
be uwde at letter ra'es. Hut in this
case the Looks are returned precisely
as they were wuen loaned, without a
single additional pencil mark upon
them. It seems to us that each post
master should have the power to pass
upon matters uf this kind, and remit
the postage charged when it is clear
that there has been nr intention to
violate the law. As the rule now is, it
Is c arely very silly boy’s play on tho
part of a great government.
Charles ftoheff.er has contracted to
1 ury dead Chicago paupers for $1.40
( cb, and cay- t! o'- he means to sell
the bodi ;6 ior diesection. He argues
that there is r.o law to prevont the
business, that the burial, after the
doctors are through with tho corpses,
will fulfill'the contract, and that the
plan wiibsave money for the city, In
i.sruuch as in no other way could a
contractor do thp work at the price.
pr ,
A WELL-POSTED BOY.
History never jumps over Detroit
There are too many old battle grounds
•round here for the historian to get
past without at leust a few paragraphs.
The fight ut Hldbdy Bun lias been
w idely read of and strangers often ask
to have the locality pointed out. Yes
terday a man who dropped off a street
car at tho Jefferson avenue bridge to
look around and let memory carry
him back to Indian days, felt anxious
to know how the light came to be
called Bloody Run. By and by a boy
came slamming along, and the stran
ger beckoned to him and askod :
“Sonny, Is this Bloody Bun?”
“You are bloody right it Is,” was
the rejoinder.
“Bight around here is where the
British troops were, is it?”
“Yes sir; aud down in the gully
there were the bloody Injuns.”
“And they fought?"
“Bloody sure. They didn’t come
here to play, you bet.”
“Was there much loss?”
" A bloody big on.”
“Can you tell in#,” continued the
stranger, looking around, why they
call it Bloody Bun?”
“Yes, sir; cos’ when them soldiers
found there were ten Injuns to one
wlijK man they run so bloody fast
that you nan find old boot-heels around
here yet!”
The stranger may have taken tom*
away us relics. He was seen hunting
up and down the street.
Lady customer—" Have you a nice
book all covered with rod louther,
With gold letters ou the back?” Shop
reaper—“Yea, madam ; we have Do
Quinoey’s works, three volumes, lu
Busola. or Gen. Hherrnan’s Memoirs,
two volumes, in calf.” Lady custo
mer —“I don’t want anything about
Russia. Give me the book about the
dear little calves ; besides it was made
by a general.”
FAKKNTAI. TKIACIIXIir.
A smart young boy of nine, say*
the Chicago Tribune, attends sohooi
•t Evansville. Sometimes, especially,
when the circus la In that latitude, or
the boys get up dog tight, he does
not attend school, though he pretends
that he does. Lust week he gave
himself u holiday to attend profession
ally ut an exhibition of gymnastics,
to which the admission was one cent,
and, being desirous of trying a now
polioy, went to his father and con
fessed bis fault, making he prelim
inary condition that neither of his
parents should lick him. His fathor
is a man of his word and not only
rafrulued from chastising the culprit,
but gave him his “aciiHe” to disarm
his teacher's wrath. The unsuspoot
ing schoolboy with his shining morn
ing face and satchel crept next morn
ing, like a snail, unwillingly to school,
presented his “scuse,” and was so
condlgnly licked that he thinks that
for tho rest of his life ho must either
give up coasting or lie fiat on lilt
stomach. He doesn’t know that hL
“scuse” read as follows: —"Mis Hazr
—ldeas lik the barer for runing away
Lik him Well. No mor at preusanl.
Your respectively,
“Mb. Oliver I’eiuns.”
A.USUJVAN WATCIH.
The American watch has now ob
tain lan almost universal reputation
t>. criority over the English watch
an i i.us, in great part, because of the
less number .f pieces of which It Is
compos.:!. Tims the former, of tho
key winder class, contains a 143
pieces, and the stem winder 155 pieces,
The English watch, on the other
hand, is compu t 'd of 638 more pieces
than the American, tho excess being
found in the fusee and chain. According
to the length and fineness of the clv.’in
the Eriglinii manufacture contains from
sixty-four to seventy pieces to the
inch, tho fusee and Its attachments
about forty-eight pieces, aud this ac
counts for tho • greater number of
pieces comprised in the English arti
cle. So well are tha advantages of
the American principle In this re
spect now understood by the English
makers that tho manufacturers of tho
celebrated Frodsham watches have
for some thus past done away with
the fusee anl chain, thus reducing tho
number of pieeos.
- 1 . " J> V.-HV. .i
THK lit’UDHIST REr,UON.
The Nagasaki Rising Sun srys the
Buddhist religion is fast declining. In
Yamashlma Ken alone It Is said that
seventy-one Buddhist temples have
been turned into dwelling houses and
made use of in other ways since 1873,
aud during the lust six years between
six and seven hundred temples hav*
been converted to other purposes
than those for which they were origin
ally intended.
igJLI'J Ul Jg-MJI
“ That’s good butter,” said Whrtmp
to ids boarding ini 'ress the other
morning, as he ;n.ozferred half there
was on the plate o a >vot biscuit.
“ Yes,” said 'he, eyeing him sharply,
“that b'd'er ■■■>&, rre thirty-eight
cetils ap' d.” “ AV-■•11,” said he,
sconcin' *lt • remainder on to anothor
biscuit, “ it’s worth it.”
There is said to be a determination
on the part of the Commission to
close the Exhibition on the Sabbath.
The question arises: Which Sabbath
will it be? Many of the nations of the
earth will be represented there, and if
the Commission endeavor to please
them all in this Sabbath matter, there
will be no necessity for opening the
show at all. For the Greeks they will
close It ou Monday; for the Persians
on Tuesday; for the Assyrians on
Wednesday; for the Egyptians on
Thursday; for tho Turkß and all Mo
hammedan nations on Friday; for
Jews and Seventh Day Baptists on
Saturday, and for all Christians they
will close on Sunday.
A WEST INDIA IIUItKIOA WE.
In the year 1860, occurred the most
terrible hurricane experienced in tho
West India Islands, during the pres
ent. century.
The ocean rolled completely over
Hog Island Into the harbor of Nassau,
in surges so enormous, that the crest
was even with the gallery of the. light
lnmsf, slaty feet above the sea.
Houses and forests went down be
fore the, wind like reeds;, many which
withstood its force when it blew Trout
north ist collapsed when It shifted to
southwest. In twenty-four hours the
oily was like a town sacked and
burned by the enemy, and a largo
part of the wealth accumulated din
ing the was had disappeared into tliiu
air. The Islands have never entirely
recovered from the blow.
I—via -j. 1 .-
•
The richest man in Boston is said
to he Weld, of Weld & Cos., East In
dia merchants, who is worth $18,006,
800. Joshua Sears, who died several
years ago, left to a young son property
estimated now to he worth $st),000.oo.
There are ordinary millionaire* with
out number in Boston. They all live
unpretentiously in fine mansions.
A LELYLK TOO MIIC'U,
The other day, when a stranger in
the city was asked for alms by a man
with a bad cough he inquired:—
“What do you want of money?"
"To .buy food,” was the answer,
"Are you short on provisions?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Didn’t you lay In tutors and cab
bnges and boo ts and so on lost fall
when they were cheap?”
“No, sir.”
“Well, that Bhows you have no head
for planning. I always put In my
provisions in the fall, and have 'em
where I can lav my hand on ’em. Bo
you have nothing to eat?”
“No, sir.”
“Can’t run over to the neighbors
and borrow sugitr and butter and
flour?”
“No sir.”
“Well, some neighbors wouldn’t
lend a cold pancake if they could help
It. Hud your breakfast, I suppose?”
“No, sir.”
“Had your supper last night?”
“No, sir; I bnvevi’t eaten anything
In almost ten days.”
“That’s a leet.le too much, mister!”
remarked the stranger ce he squinted
his left eye. “If you had said that you
didn’t have anything but milk toast
for supper, and a cup of ooffe* and an
egg for breakfast, and now felt like
eating something solid, I should
have believed y e:, and handed you
half a dollar. Go right away from
me! I never could bear a hypo
crite 1”
COLORS IN RATTLE.
Taste in dress is one of the most de
sirnhlo of attributes in both sexes, but
in what colors ho shall dress becomes
not only more than a matter of taste
with the soldier, but of th* most vital
importance. For, from numerous oh
acrvatlons, it would appear that mot
are hit during battle according to the
color of their dress is the following
order: Bed is the most fata) color:
the least fatal, Austrian gray. The
i.roportlon* are,red twelve, rlC# green
-ven. ferowa six, Austrian biui3n
,ru,y five.
—• . ul . i.jm
i r.ji St.v OIL.
During the war tbs South wore
thrown upon their own revouive.- loan
extent which resulted in developing
some industries that othw wise they
might never have even dreamed of.
One was the manufacture of oil fiom
peanuts, to take the place of olive oil
for table and other household uses.
It gradually became popular, and is
now in large demand, Jt supplies the
place of olive iir.d almond oils for var
ious uses and is lower in pr'ce, returns
its purity and flavor for a longtime,
and is less susceptible to tha effect of
light than olive oil. The oil la extract
ed entirely from th* meat of the nut
by pressure, the infuse being used as
caill. feed or fertilizer.
,1 nu— ■■■■—"" '
Ob contrary Biding a caul*.
NUMBER 13.
I(ISSKI> EK SKVeX TIMES.
Asa reporter passed a North Hill
schoolhouse yesterday, says tho Bur
lington Hawkeye, a studious looking
lad einorged from one of the doors,
with a worried expression, and am
bled to the rear of the building, close
ly followed by a companion, who
popped from behind the fence. The
two sought the shelter of a retired
nook, where the studious lad backed
up against the wall, and, reaching hi*
hand behind hint into that depart
ment of a boy’s clothing that is
putcliod next after his knees, he and -ew
forth a heavy buckskin mit and a;ala
another. As ue readjusted his de
ranged garments he winced a little,
and, rubbing e. little further down on
his anatomy, gave vent to the remark,
’By gad 1 they’re pretty good, Jem
my, hut he mim<l ’em seven times.”
Laznrdo w.. 0 perforins the min trick,
catching as is supposed) the bullet In
bis tec It, came very near losing his
life in Mi sivshoi recently. He had
just Unis " i ue uf iiis performances
when cu !ti-:l and partially intoxi
eaie -sissippian In the audience
•*r . i her end shouted, “Darn
you, see i; uiiau naleh this."
t OiIAVLS TIIH MII.KMAK.
0 Graves, ttie milkman hero of
t.l :< k River dam disaster in Mass.,
id re" figure in the recent one. An
inqtilty hu:r brought out th sad fact
that he died of grief, poverty and ne
gle.ci some time ago. It seems that
after I fu Mill River catastrophe,when
he rode iivvii the valley and warned
th i habitants that the dam wo*
breaking, people asked themio.vea
what, lie could have been doing ai t.h
reservoir, aud then stopped buying
his milk. The milk business was
ruined, he hud nothing else to do, and
not many months after he died In des
titute circumstances. Think twloe
before you nllow yourself to become a
hero.— Chicago Times.
The Unter den Linden of Berlin Is A
dreary place, says O. D. Warner. It*
name, h* says, oomes fiom “some
shrub* planted in the centre, feeble
tow* of sickly lindens with * few con
sumptive chestnuts.” And it would
“require the entire I’ruislan army to
fill It, and all the popul-Uoa of Berlin
on its roof* and sidewalks to give U
any animation.’’
A simple and efficacious plan of re
storing to steel which has onco been
burned Its usual valuable qualities,
claiming that this cm n be accomplished
by the use of a fluid which leave*
scarcely anything to be desired on the
seore of cheapness, has been brought
forward by an English inventor. The
process consists in the use of resin oil,
with which is intimately mixed about
one-fourth of it* weight of the residue
of paraffine stills. Chiaels that have
become useless maythus, it is stated,
be completely restored and made as
valuable as ever. Tho burned steel Is
first heated red hot, then ( lunged Into
the liquid for a few seconds, anil then
re-heated and cooled in the ordinary
way.
To stick leather on the face of lrom
and wood pulleys; Faint the pul
ley with a good coat of white lead!
in oil, then glue the leather to tbe>
pulley.
A WARM RECKPTIOH. J'
Several days ago, Mr. Rea, th*
Southern Express agent at Danville,
Tennessee,on the Louisville and Mem
phis Railroad, had an intimation that
he would be robbed. Being a very
cautious man and having a goodly
sum of money in trust for the com
pany, he provided himself with a
double-barreled shot-gun, well loaded
with buckshot, and awaited with pa
tience for further developments.
About, two o’clock A. M., six men at
tempted to relieve liis office of its con
tents, but unfortunately for two of the
party they only received the content*
of Mr. Rea’s gun, killing one Instantly
and badly wounding another, who,
however, made good hla escape, and
nothing has been heard from them
slue*.
A TMUKIA'IC iriIKIUCANI*,
TANARUS: - Fhtllpplne Islands, which havo
beer, recently vittited by a terrific hur
ricane, with a reported loss of two
hundred and fifty livcw, are under the
restrictive dominion of Spain. The
group consists of not far from 1,200
islands, four of which are very large.
Tho population Is estimated at 6,000-
000. Only four ports are open to for
eign shipping, and the trade of Ameri
ca is almost entirely with the capital
city, Manila. If dispatches received
are correct, the ravages of tne tornado
were mostly confined to the southern
portion of the Island of Luzon, and
Manila is many miles distant from
that section.
i. 'J 11. !.1 ILS
Mr. Max Muller ho* been offered A
professorship in Florenoe at a higher
salary than ever offered before to A
profeasorinltalf