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I f’EaTAINLY YOU CANNOT FIND
\j in all v other newspaper, no matt*.whore it is
: howov ,-r largo- it .may; be, so much
of personal intercut and local ben* at m- appears
■ ©,vry v©tfk in The (ffftzetwv
SUMMERVILLE, GEOltf.lA, MAY 9, 1878.
TiIKDE’A B>QM AT THE T P.
Thi‘y say tho professions arc crowded
By seekers L>r fame and for bread;
That, the menU ors arc pushing ©noli other
As close as their footsteps can tread;
But be not discouraged, ray brother,
Nor suffer exertion to stop,
Though thousands are pressing.ground you,
There’s plenty of room at the top.
Be t rue to thy love and thv country—
The dastard wins never a prize;
But the earnest are ever the victors;
And he who on justice reliefs—
Who wins the good guerdon by labor -
Will garner sweet rent as his crop,
And find, ua the hills siak below him,
That there’s room enough at the top.
Oh! let not evil disturb you,
There's good it you but search it out,
Make pure thine own com •*nee, my brother, j
Nor mind what the rest arc about;
And whether your work may have fallen
In sanctum, or office, or shop,
Rem timber tho low grounds are crowded,
But there's always room at tho top.
M T ItKKCHF.It CONFiNB.
Bald Nat ban; quo day.
“God hath sopt mo to show you,
Dow surely we know y,,u.
To bo both a rake and a liar. ”
Thou, without any flam,
Said king David, “I am
TLo worst man that ever was born;
1 took from him his wife,
And thou his own lif-\
Yes, I frankly acknowledge the corn.’*
So when D iv Id died,
By truth purified,
All tho world loved to sing his swoot songs,
And his name will fotvvn*,
Be p. weet-Hti'K'Uffiij savor,
For hi*penitence cured all Ins v/r^ug*.
But while Be-Wyer ;h*dHiTc, .
! And the ft grid '* .and >: *’.y/s ’
*©<■ -*— —— •
A I}A(;ULLO’i’6 (DiOaVL.
I’m p, grumpy old bachelor,
Griz/dy aml^my,
lam vt-ii and forty
If 1 am a dny.
I am fussy and crusty,
And as dry :ih a bone;
S.o ladies—good ladies—
Just let me alone 1
Go Kindle out yopr jrijag|ets.
And beam out in smiles;
Go tinkle your trinkets.
And show off your wiles,
Bewitch and bewilder
Wherever you can;
B it pray—pray, remember.
I am not tho man!
I’m frozen to blushes,
I’m proof against, eyes;
I’m hardened to simpers,
And stony to sighs,
I’m tough to each dart
That young Cupid can lance;
I’m not In tho market
At any advance I
I sew on my own buttons,
I darn my own hose,
I keep my own counted,
And fold ray own clothes;
I mind my own business,
Aral live ray own life;
J won’t—-nOf tho Dickens—
Bo plagued with a wife I
And yet there’s nine spinsters
Who hvlit vc me their fate;
There's tv*<> dozen widows
Who’d ciu gc their estate.
Thoro’s Billy young maidens
Who blush at ray how;
All—-all bent on mairying mo
No matter howl
T walk forth in trembling
I com© home in dread,
I don't, fear my heart,
But I do fear my head I
My civil st- speech
Is a growl and a nod;
And that,—Heaven save rad—
-I*s ’‘charmingly odd!”
Ho ladios—doar ladies—
Just hear roe, 1 pray;
I .speak to you all
Iu tho pluralest way.
My logic is simple
As logic can bn—'
If I don’t many you,
Pray—-don’t man y me!
Til K Pi; / NOG It A PH.
It happened that Mrs. Barstinglov/ was
; tfoin/? down to Keokuk for a fov.- da;s,
alid >h. Bt-rstiof;)ow vm Ir.eonsolable.
4t one iitte he protested that whe should
iiotf'i,; he could not or. 'tire the lone-oni
house durh.fr her a'.-rnee. And (hen
ajfain, he T ■ ii,n-t.eo s h*.
would riejde'-t h ; s otfie-'. ami Jet hlii bu;,i
ness go t<> the how wow mid ho would
go with her. A le-igtn. hov-v..r he
persuaded him to he t ‘ittonulde, and on
her repeated assurance that she would
not remain . way longer than three days,
he consented to let her go. He even
bought her ticket, and ordered the car
riage and paid for it two days ahead, lest
his resolution should give way and he
should forbid her going lioin him. And
from that time til; the tuoruing of her
I departure Mr. Burst inglowspoke in tub-
I dued tones, tuid’lmoved about With the *u ■
of n man tvh >so heart was buried under
mountains of grief.
Before sbo loft the house, Mrs. Bar
stinglotv sot tho phonograph in th'’ siltiaa
loom, behind the clock. Then she ki - sod
her disconsolate husband, and beg cod him
to preserve his precious life for her -oka
while she was away, and then she was
gone.
Every day, during her three days vi it
in tce-Oate City, she received a letter
from her mourning husband, bogging her
; to come back, arid tolling her how lone-
I some he was without her, and how like a
i grave the empty house seemed, and how
tho hours dragged over his aching heart
i wiih leaden feet. And in three days she
I came homo, and filled the solemn hotiao
; with sunlight, and laughter i ■ lin.
i The evening after her return to Bur*
I lington, she took down llir. phonograph.
“T wonder,” she said, ‘‘what we said
■ in it- h airing? T must have been
I setnnth'ng while we were dfonufone; my
i visit. Or may be it has naught some of
I your poor, longing tuoamogs while l was
|awry ”
I And then the turned tbc crank.
“No,” .:naked the phouog”.:ph, it
! mes of hearty reassurance, “no danger
jl l that; she’s safe in Keokuk for three
days; saw her safely off, myself, this
morning. Light your cigar while I light
] another, lamp and make the room look
I cheerful.'*
j “Why,” exclaimed Y : -. Bn-s-iiiglow,
! with a countenance 1 u • .it, “what
j on earth is ir aid
| “Oh, •some n . ,;i. ..of your
i,visitors have talked d.'s. it stuiie time or
I ivmlh,. :i, j > ji ,. i y. , :
jt'peopio talk all kinn oi'.wtuif info n
| phonograph, von know.- t hey -ay any-
I 10 i1,.... I
•• Ibis is g,. dtiskey, Barf ty,” I'.jac’.
don’t get it ii. ilUi'Pnglim, ii • you?”
Mrs. Jbirstinglow gate a shriek.
“My dear,” said her hushaucl, looking
not quite aa worried as ho had looked
■iltta Im -.as beggirg her not to go to
Keokuk, “put it away; semSbody has
had it out in tin* fi-ablc, and it. might say
souiGtinng perfectly shocking, you know,
J’at it away.”
But sirs. Barstinglow, upon whom the
spirit of investigation had descended with
great power, ground away, and the phono
graph, iu a voice inavveioui.ily like her
husband’s, went reiuersejoealy on.
“Not much; they don’t make this kind
now. It’s some, old Mor.ongaliela, cop
per cistilled, that Mrs. Barstinglow’s
mother gave her for medicinal purposes
three yearn ago. Fillup, 'here’s plenty
of it, and 1 can replace it with auy kind
of beverage when it’s gone. Tho old gild
wont know the difference.”
Mrs. Barstinglow felt herself’ turning
to stone, hut the next turn of the crank
brought out an uproarious—
‘Ha, ha, ha! Here’s to the o. g.”
That finned her cheeks into a flame.
“For were/’s rake, Malachi Barsting
low,” she shrieked, “what does this
email?”
Mr. Baratinglow now looked as t'lough
he rcidly did wish she had never gone to
Keokuk.
“It’s just as I foil yen,” be f id, with
an effort to look unconcerned that was
book, a t I ,
m tar as its utter failure was concerned.
“Rcjuebody b m talking all sorts of
nonsense it jet for talk’s: ake, Ihev
else could it hold of such drew-ilhl
si I’.ffin o !!■ !•,<..■. lor-. ?"
j . ir- B: • ii : ; Li’; say, but she
I turned away i J the phonograph asked
carelessly;
“Throw round for the deal?”
She thought, she would faint bat she
didn’t, and the pit/le ; machine pro
ceeded to remark, with a variety of
voices:
“I: :.my ace,” '“Vim’ll i; ve to yt.ra.d
dle that h’ind if you com.? in.” “Give
me two cards.’’ “t’bip one.” ‘'!’)•
your little oaa and raise yon t> eoii!;,.:.”
“Fusii tho bottle r.l'l .< “Ain’t
you Thing to stajt in, H wry?” “V.eh't
f .:. : y in tn a tiair*ol * Q&li you
j “IVoKiuah pair, k. :: ito lmad.
1 aud deuce:!. Tvr.e itie poll” “3. tv,
get us ,"S'ns ...at. Oi lfo ■ ■■ .
the ’cupboard • y., didn’t she?” “Yus;
told her I wa * going to keep bach, at
home, to save expenses and ' eep out of
bad company.” “Ha, ha, ha! Ho! hoi
bo!!”
“Oh 1” yelled Mr. Barstiaglow, unable
to contain Pirn, elf auy longer, while his
wile, ,:io,v mad than alive, leaned over
ilic pi mogreph and ground away at the
! era' ! y ■ ted kind of way. “Oh,
it u*/l ihar'c rigiitl Keep her
agoing I Grind it all out! Confound the
diabolical piaoe el’ black art and ;!i<: vile
n-sassin that invented it. Keep it up!
That’s right I Btliove a seusulow; diabcli
cal piece of monstrous mechanism rather
then ynr husband. Keep her agoing!
K cp it up!”
And Mrs Bnrstinglow did keep it up.
She ki'pt it up and listened to that, pi ono
;ph swear and shout and howl; she
hoard it shriek, “Oil! my eye, my eye!”
She heard it tell someone to let someone
else “have it age.’ii in tho same place;”
she hour.! it warn .-omebody to “hold hit
head over the stove hearth, and uot let
Ids nose bleed ou the carpet," and at last,
cs it a- cured her vury thickly and with
some (liffioulty, that it was “a ban’ of
jolly goof luffuffellows,” and tint it
“wo’ (hie) won’ g’ ’onie till morning,”
she ground it into silence, and rank Lack,
epeeehiess and breath less while Mr. Bar
gtimr’ow took the phonograph outinto the
b:v,.k yard . nd sin.i-hed it, into so ni-ny
and >.u..h ' nodi fraameuts tlrat ii couldn’t
reproduce even a ateamb e’.t whistle.
And now, w e ; people go over to the
Bar- ’ Inglowt to spend a plea-ant ever.i'j;',
arm br,|>pen. to oy. ‘ ‘What hat e you done
v,iih ihe phoit l y.iMpu, '! . Bar. w , !• v?’’
it affords the visitors ontertainiuotit for
the rest, of the evening to’study the dif
ferent expressions which creep over the
f t > of Mr. and Mrs, Barstinglow, whi’e
Mr. iff lim.iow, aa ko answer,i the pu),-;-
li.ii, ;hint,she would give ten thousand
in. a,.■ and he could find out how tha meet
I'l.uixof the I'.ir'griiiiners Association tell
I! i : ,t ; v tnd make tle m sound so
t-t..;:Ky like the truth - — Hurlington
//,, N A-tU/L-.
! Bisnaw-s cu>;. kmiiiExca
’ ' ■ •• • '
! ‘feishia* time la*’ omi-my h-y . it
lu- i-t .oCiii, v*. ti r, fiyy; 1 . .■ t-i -h
midst.”
“Ifow menu; got cat au’ b; ■ up?”
asked tho old m.v.i, > urn tly
“Wa* you in'.kin’ 'Lout, h-t Re
mus?”
"L'm talkin' 'b.vr <L- y■' win.- „p
dose yer.niggfv i;hu'i.h • •
been havin’ settee dc- fo: mat' and >
out.”
“Lor’, Brer Remus,” said the A . ,
laughing, “You's a sigiit, sen.
“I’m a talkin’ at do mark, Brer Si
mon. Renee do war ono or dene buck
niggers don’t no sooner git converted den
be outs will a razor an' beginsfer to kyarve
up do Highest mo’ner. 1 iiitYdono got so
now dut a nigger chu’ch ain’t high toned
'cei.pin' hits gottcr aiab'lanCo Wag.gin in
'te h nee on do ’spe’uueo meetin’.”
“Oli, go ’leiig, Bier Romusl”
“I done seed it, Brer Simon. I dona
birr dor. No longer'u week afore las’ I
wuz p:.s in' by de chu’cli, an’ I thunk I’d
drop in . nd Ii •nr .y’at Brer Plato had !’ei
ter sitiy. Hit didn’t look like ter me dat
I'd bin in dar more’n ten rninits, w’en d
fus news I know Sis Tempy rho lipt up
in de a’ran’.-.ungoutdnt she don’gone an’
trampled on do Oie Boy, an’dat her sou!
wuz happy. Sbo kep’ on lippin’up an'
prancin' ’roan’, un’ Hingin’ out her ban's
tillbimehy she tuck Sis Becky in de mouf
—blip!—an'den Sis Becky she riz an’
fetched er grab at SisTempy, nil’ 1 declar
b-r grashus of it didn’t ’pear ter me dat
she goiter poun' er wool.”
“No, Brer il-oiud”
“I’m a fellin’->.•>• ’ ! w! 1 in-
Own bles.sid eyes. After dat de revivin’
sorter go: hot up like. Bole un urs lmd
kin ’incog do wo’net y mr’ efyuo ever , '.e
scramblin’ an’ scuffl e’ hb m Cen an*
dar. I done bin iu one er deta kimlor
ruui,' * iscs befo’ an do.s ’bout de time
Brer t", Henry mounted Brer R pl
an’ nd VdirTc.r do railin’, I tuck up my
hatau’ ,;iid>noea.--,
“1/ iU-’o ,'n outfit I hoar sniepiu’
'I-/.-. ■.” - pm’’- 1 the deveon.
“‘A ell 1. speck you did, Brer Simon, fer
dny -Th iv i dat hit wuz arter midnight
, iv: <scy .-■ t done totin’ out de cripple
:-iy-'er-u flit -lint rio use fur ter b" aru
wid me, !i>;• r S rno 1 :. D:r,’n a ni-r
--cer mceiin'-licuco rigid, in si; ht. er my
: ■; , un' I done hs'-KO many pullif'l dat
i now dat w on 1 hears de idieu’tiu’
.rt up, I lakes my ole muckit an’ sa’n
tcrii out inter de back-yard wbar L Kin
put one oy*- on n)y lico-’on ... 1 done nil
one mo’ner f/d ersqu il shor., an’ I don no
how soon hit’ll be Tore and doctor’ll b:; /e
for ter ’sammin auu-i i ■ I done bin
hero too long for new u-qie uigg-:-- for ter
git ’way wid me.”
And tbu deacon pc. , -i n. . : : . .
Remus want up the ► i-ect ha;
Oli, honey don’t you- -5
a fuiliu i 00/ts-v',. c., us it. t
NUMBER 19.
STttOHU HIITTKK.
“tVby i- it, my sea, that when yen drop
your bread and butter it always falls but
ter side down?”
“I don’t know; it hadn’t orter do it.
The strongest side ort.er be uppermost,
hadn’t it nia? and that is the strongest
butter 1 ever did sec.”
“Hush! hush! it’s some of your aunt’s
churning.”
“What! Did she churn it? The great
lazy tiling.”
“Your aunt?"
“No, the butter.”
“Why, ray con?”
“To iiickn the old lady churn it when
it is plenty strong to churn itself. Don’t
you think so. mu?”
“Be still, Zibi; it only wants working
over to be good."
“Well, if Bayou, when I did it I’d
put in lots of molasses.
“You guild for nothing! I’vo oaten a
event .1 :d w '•••■ iu i lie most aristoeratio
boarding houses.” „ ’. c ...
: V\ it. ii;■: of rank.certainly cogbt
to oat it.” . .u
“(Vhv people of rank?” \
“'■Uause it’s raids buttein" t
V. i ya;oii ut you? What t:fkec>yotJ
folk so s.mar' ?” .
‘ i .-Tminr has taken tho skin off of
my mouth, mother.”
“ZiM I' cTt i,<il I can’t throw away
tin. but-or. ”
“I’teli ye, nia, what I’d do with it; I’d
keep ii to draw blisters.”
i “ Wei!, ray-on, if you keep on lying
that w t> yi.u’il in? au editor some day.
N r., blow your nose and go to hoeing ia
the garden.— Covin.'/ion Star.
7-H NKTi.T lIOSI. KKH.S.
. .-■■ - ; Nary is of Ihc opinion
’ it !. ii! e of llepreset.-tatires
i pre ;ident In de
\>? tho people. This
. !, . for ui-ioh on the division
--.;i o i v c..; iio two great parties,
•i-! - -• sh’r f-i udidntes a-ro liable to
n the field by > lie natlonala, la
- .or off,boots of tho
j , - cfo ..itii-s. This possibility, to*
i; ■ fr, r. t! tit is no! -o’uoblo
1 . i . , , ~ - ,
• ■ ,i;> -o. n, :n-;cr ot oount
, n agreed upon,
. foi io f both parties to re
u L- , coi: reisionsl oleetions as
tl . ~i-ct . tak e fir the gaining of which all
exi .iim.s - liould bo made. If tho repub
licans lose the next House of Representa
tive-, the probability is that the par
ty vv raid cease to exist as a national organ
ization. It irt a death-struggle with them,
and they are making manyplausitflME-.-m
--paigns on paper. They must hold thei’n
own, and carry fourteen additional dis
tricts, in order to control 'he next
House. One of their calculations in
cludes tho fifth district of Me hand as a
pitobaUe gaiu, and the sixth list riot as a
certain gain. Two districts in Tonuesseo
wo put down a- g-tjus, ana from Houisia
tn, Florida and South Carolina three or
four gains are counted. The firskdistriot
of New Hamp hire, now represented by
Mr F. VV. Jones, Democrat, is put down
as absolutely certain to roturn a Republi
can next fall. Several districts in Now
York and Pennsyiv; nia, and a dozen or
more in the Weft, now represented by
Democrats, are transferred to tha Repub
lican column. This calculation is, beyond
a dvulit, ijilacious; but ima importance
! and in':i ',. ty i.fihj contest should induce
ns to h ■ i- I no di rict. through divisions
nr I ; ; 1 • .A solid nine from
■ i it has never before
h ir* the h story'of Uio Dam
:-urly. i’-u party expaets it, and
pati-j- 1- n dCiiiuudsit. Constitution:
&■-<■ -
Th.- CL i,.. ia (Talbptton) Register says:
'l’li !’; i ■’ : ■: 8. B. Baldwin, of
t-bi -.-vtit”, i.j one of tho moot remurkable
in thi itien of the rUfo. jfboreure, of
paie-.f, chii ifop and grandchildren,
f-:ty-:fo;'i(, in nuiub-if. Not a death has
evov on. •: -ed in the family. None of th*
hoy,;vnv, drink liquor, or use tobacco;
are practical, in n. itrious and intelligent.
'i hoy are thrifty farmers, make their own
provisions, ure not iu debt, and live at
I.- me. Light members of tho family are
'jin. 1. They appreciate and ensour
jvt h-.j. o enterprise, and wo may add with
! propriety t! y are all suscribers to the
i .‘faridor.
L is no - stated that Beecher has boon
hi-; lawyers with a view of
n, -f-caiing Tilton and the Moultons on a
c; r,.-.- -j'-.-).-ip!. uey to extort hush money
fora hi-. ,"’:;-;h a pi ieeution would
fir up i. : fll tou inoral cess
f ’ i.o doubt add to the
. foi !>•:. .act up 1 Tilton as
. p-**-—e ,fo.i.—i vi...