Newspaper Page Text
VOLUME V.
BILL ARP'S VERSION
HOW LESTER FOUND FELTON AMONG
Til K HOME GUARDS.
Slandering Hid N>iglibor°n Saturday and
Preaching the Oom|m*l on Sunday—
Felton in the Character of Satin
ltelmking Sin- How the One-
Armed Hero met the
Pharisaical Parnon.
Editors Atlanta Constitution:
The combat thickens I On, ye braves!
On Thursday last General Luster opened
the battle in Cartersville with a sixteen
pounder, just to feel of the enemy and see
if he weie thar. He found him entrench
ed among tho old home guards, and for
about fifteen minutes they seemed to look
upon the cannonadin’ as a joak. Before
long the General put in some heavy guns,
and the enemy begun to wake up amlsrir
round quite lively. For an hour and a
half Luster poured shot and shell around
’em and over ’em and into ’em, and then
stopped and paused for a reply.
General Felton had by this time got all
of his pieces in position, and stayin' be
hind his entrenchments, he banged away
furiously for about two hours, pourin' all
sorts of big guns and little guns and long
guns and short guns and swivels and
mortars and chain shot anil slung shot
with pison balls in ’em, rammed down
with old newspapers and telegrams from
Alek Stephens and a letter from John
Wofford and documents from the emigra
tion buro, and seemin’ as how the enemy
remained firm and unterrified, he ripped
up Joe Brown’s road and slung it at him
from a big columbiad, and then clum a
tree and exclaimed: “If you don’t leave
here prematurely and let me alone I'll
set Gen. Wofford on you in the name of
th, Lord next Sunday mornin’ at 10
o’clock A. M.—precisely by my Wash
ington time. Now git!”
But Luster wooldn'tgit worth a cent —
on the contrary, lie hrot forward his o!d
suinet gun, and usin' Parson Felton’s
scripts text for wadden, he let fly for 15
ruiuets in the awfullest manner amazin’.
He made 15 holes in the breastworks and
hit the enemy twixt wind ami water and
demoralized his home guard to an alarm
ing extent. But Gen. Felton rallied and
came back to time, and after a few ran
dom shots from both sides the forces were
drawn off and the guns put in the branch
to cool. As usual, both sides claim the
victory, though it is certain, that while
Luster did not lose a man, the burial
squad was at work in the fortifications to
a late hour last fight. 1 heard General
Lu.-tcr say that lie had him where he
wanted him. “For,” says he, “i! he stays
where he is I’ll forage a.I over the Dis
trict and perish him nut, and if he dares
to come out I'll whip him anywhere in an
open and a fair fight.”
Well, you see, Luster (we used to call
him Luster when he was a boy) spoke for
two hours at the start; tollin' the people
who he was, and what be cum for, and
who sent him, and how he felt towards
them and all mankind; like the young
follow said lie felt when his sweetheart
that he was a dyin’ for owned up that
she loved him, and he said, “Right there
1 didn't have no hard feelins agin nobody
in the world.” lie peppered and salted
and spread his speech with joaks and
antidotes, and when 1 e got gone every
body was in a good humor with him and
themselves and the rest of mankind. lie
done it up splendidly, l tell you, and if
the thing had stopped right thar the
home guards would have returned to
their homes calm and serene, and satisfied
that if Luster got to Washington the
country would still be safe.
But you see, it didn’t stop there, and
that’s always the way in this life.
Things won’t stop where we want ’em.
A man is always a runnin’ up agin some
body, and he can’t have his own way
about nothin. An jesso Dr. Felton run
up agin Luster. The doctor has got a
good taste of Washington, and it suits
him and lie’s not going to surrender.
The elegant hilarity of it harmonizes with
h.s genial disposition, in fact, it beats
Felton’s chapel, and all that sort of busi
ness to death. Well, he begun his reply
with a mournful solo upon the purity of
the judicial ermine as it used to was when
judges were pure and dignified, and I
think lie wept a little when he talked
about Judge Lus'er a gittiu down off the
bench and draggin his judicial cloak
about in the mud and mire and filth < f
politics. Then he told how a prominent
gentleman said yesterday he wanted to
come out and take the field for him, but
®i t HtttnmeftoiUt gtafetie
lie had a big suit in Luster’s court and he
was afraid if he did it would prejudice his :
case. Then he defended himself for run
ning as an independent candidate, and
read extracts from Mr. Stephens about ;
rings and political tricksters, and he paid
a long tributary to that independent gen
tleman and accused him of being the
greatest man that the Almighty ever
made Then he denounced the Ring
gold convention us a trick and a fruit t
gotten up by his enemies and concocted
in a back room by some jack-log lawyers,
lie said he had documents to prove this,
and he read an extract from a letter of
John W. Wofford, of Missouri, which
said that he, Wofford, had found out
there was a ring ami he wished he could
comeback to Georgia to help tho doctor
fight it. Then h e took up J udge Luster’s
record and accused him of voting for Cole
against Fierce Young and of taking office
under Bullock and plunderin' the treasury
and helping Joe Brown to swindle the
State out of her railroad, and he wound
up the record by saying that this Luster
was a great man and a great hero —that
ha was born great, and during the war be
got a heap greater, and he was running
on his war record and was taking to him
self great credit, because he did his duty
as a soldier just like ten thousand other
soldiers did--and then he mocked Lus
ter's way of holding down his right stump
with his left arm, arid gave notis that
although he was not a soldier himself,
the immortal invincible hero of a hundred
battlefields, Gen. VV. T. Wofford, would
take the field in his behalf. “Ah,” said
he, “fellow-citizens, when Wofford was
fighting in Mexico, where was Luster?”
As nobody answered, 1 suppose the
conundrum was gizen up. lie wound up
by tellin Luster that he would beat him
2000 votes in Bartow and beat him in his
own county besides.
Well, the Felton boys shouted splen
didly, and the Luster boys yelled auiazni,
and it was hard to toll which side uiado
‘.he most satisfactory fuss; but there was
a few big mouthed darkies on hand and
you could hear ’em holler huura for Fel
ton a half a mile, and one of ’em in par
tikler always wound ut> his injun howl
with “I isa wild hog, I is.”
But you see, Mr. Editur, Luster had
another chance at the pars n, and foi 15
minets he made it grand, lively and pecu
liar. lie charged him with utterin slan
der that he knew to be false, and he put
him on partik'ar notis that he shouldcnt
do it any more, that lii.s age nor his high
calling nor nothing else should protect
him ii he dared ever again to repeat those
slanders. I tell you he was hot and he
was grand. He rose forward to tho higLt
of his indignation. His left arm towered
in tho air—the stump ot his right arm got
excited, too, ar.d suddenly tore tho empty
sleeve out of his pocket, and sent it curlin
above his head, and as he spoke of truth,
and honor, and (lie legacy a good man
ought to preserve lor his children, the
boys trembled, and cried, and shouted,
and nary man in all that crowd had cheek
enough to holler hurrah for Felton.
“Wh at kind of a man is that, fellow
citizens.” said he, “who will on Saturday
utter these slanders of his fellowman and
then on Sunday rise up in the sacred desk
and preach a sermon from the text —‘Let
your communications be yea, yea, and
nay, nay, fir weataoever is more than this
comcth of evil,’ and what kind of an
apostle of God is he who denounces me
for dragging the judicial ermine in the
filthy quagmire of polities, when he him
self is trailing in the filth that sacred
mantle whLh as a minister of God he
wears, and claims to have come down
from heaven?”
I tell you, Mr. Editur, and you may
it to your folks that our standard-bearer
is all right. He’ll wake up the dormant
energies. The parson didn’t know who
he was foolin' with, but he’s a firidin' out
fast and (aster. Why Luster never got
tired of a job in his life, lie’s got as
much hold on as Tcm Ferry, and can
carry as big a load. He’s broad shoulder
ed, big necked, dark skined, nimbled
footed, with eyebrows like a small brush
beep, and the beard on his chin would
grate a cocoanut to the hollew in two
minutes and a half. Why, you might as
well attack a Stone Mountain jail as such
a man as that! When lie takes hold ho
wont let go; and you can t beat him off,
nor scare him off; and you can’t kill him
off, for that's been tried. Folks that
ought to know do say that his arm was
unjioted at the shoulder, but it has
spr.uted out agin and has grown eight
inches since (be war. i'lowin a bull aint
nothin’ to the way he was raised. Ho
never had a pair of shoes until he was
giown, and used to run about in the snow
cud ice and Lost of winter workiu’ to
SUMMERVILLE. GEORGIA, JULY 25, 1878.
maintain bis mother and her children, |
and he done it, too; and one night when!
the stars fell and there was weapin' and
wailin' and Hashing of teeth, ho was a
runnin’ about in the potater patch a
tryin’ to catch ’em in his hat. Hurrah
for Luster, I say. Amen. Selalil
Bill Aar.
OVtt KAKI.tKU PKKSIDENTS.
“I’m 07,” said Conductor William
Roberts. “I believe 1 am the oldest
railroad conductor in tile United States.
I entered the railroad business in 1831,
and did not relinquish active servico until
two years age.
“When the Baltimore & Washington
road first opened, in ’35, I was appointed
conductor. There were many incidents
of an amusing character which camo
under my notice while on that road. One
day we had a special car containing two
immense cheeses for President Van
Buren. Some fellow sent them to him all
the way from Massachusetts. Probably
he expected a postoffice by return mail.
The cheeses were very large, one being at
least two feet thick.
“The President accepted them of
course,” said the reporter.
“Presidents in those days were not like
the present breed. They didn’t take
brick houses, horses, and steamships.
Air. Van Buren looked at the cheeses and
smiled. He offered to purchase them
from the man, but take them as a gift he
would not. There was no clause which
he could find in tho Constitution allowing
the President to accept a gift from his
people, so tho cheese was prepared to
shipbacx to New England. However, it
was stopped at the national capital, and
sold for fifty cents per pound, and there
was right merry fun while it was being
disposed of. The President himself
bought couple of poilfids.
“Then, there was James K. Polk, of
Tennessee, as we used to cal! him' Ho
loved horses. Indeed I think he was as
fond of a fast steed asGeti- Grant. Many
sleek animals were scut down over the
toad bearing a tag, showing that they
were the chief executive. II the horses
suited his ideas he would purchase them
and pay cash, but many of the ‘critters’
were sent back to their owners, because
the President was too conscious to receive
them as a gift. Andrew Jackson was the
same way, only stricter than tho rest il
anything.”
READING KOII IIKAI.TU.
Dr. Hull, in his excellent Journal of
Health, says farmers will become healthier
in business and body and mind in propor
tion as they take papers and read them.
They want papers treating on their call
ing, arid particularly such such publica
tions as contain a largo amount of unex
ceptionable family reading as to health,
etc. This looks as though the doctor was
pointing directly at the Mobile, Register.
Such papers, he says, gradually awaken
up the minds of fanning people not only
to a better system of agriculture, but also
to the belter methods of taking care of
themselves. Every day springs new
needs for progress among farmers. The
old helter-skelter mode of agriculture is
becoming less and less remunerative:
every day it is becoming necessary to
study the laws of vegetable growth, the
habitudes and needs of plants and grains
and trees; and in proportion as this is
done, and the analysis of soils becomes a
pre-requisite, there will be a world of
novelty and light to break in upon tho
farming mind to interest, electrify and
enrich. The time will come, when to
attempt the successful management of a
farm, largo or small, without some con
siderable practical knowledge of a farm,
sciences will be considered the extreme of
Quixotism. —Mobile / e.gister.
The Sutro tunnell, which is nearly four
miles (20,170 feet) long, has cost nearly
four million dollars, and has absorbed
eight years and eight months of labor, is
at length substantially completed. The
history of the great bore is like a con
temporaneous record of the advance in
the science of tunnelling, tbe twenty feet
per month gained by the hand drilling of
its early stages contrasting strongly with
the twenty times twenty of the machine
borings in later years. When the final
touches are given, the work will deserve
something of a celebration in the Com
stock mines. It is worthy of a place
among the great feats of engineering in
dustry, though it must rank, of course,
far behind the Alont Cenis Railway tun
nel, which is close upon eight miles long,
cost upward of thirteen years and fifteen
millions of dollars for its construction, and
serves a greater variety of uses.
A NEW SUBSCRIBER.
Wo got a now subscriber Wednesday.
When we answered his knock at the door,
he sidled in, took oft’ his hat, and asked:
“Is dis de newspaper shop?”
We told him it was.
“An’ is you dc boss fo’man ob de
wuks?''
We satisfied our colored visitor on that,
point also, and he continued:
“I fotch in some ’bacca to-day, an’ I
promised Ebaliueezah —dat's my oldest
chile —I promises dat boy I’d prescribe
for a paper, lie kin read, he kin, an’
lie’s allers pesterin' de oleooman and me
for books and papers. I s'pose wo orter
eurrigde de chile’s dispensity. How d’ye
sell yo’ papers?”
“Dollar and a half aycar.”
“All de same price? Lot me obsarve
one if you please, sah.”
We handed him a paper, and he un
folded it, upside down, scanning it
critically on both sides.
“Looks like dar war a sight oh letter
ing in dat. I dono forgot my spectacles
dis mornin’ and I can’t prczaotly tell if its
da—de 'merican language.”
Wo assured him that it was.
“In do Democratic or Republican
branch, sar?”
“Republican.”
“Dat’s de kino ob a book Ebahneczah
granjuated in and I s’pose dis paper wud
suit, him. Dolla’nalf a year you say sah?
How much is data month?”
“Abott a bit.”
“I’se not de man to mine expenses
wliar de proper eddilieation of tny chillun
is consarned, I hole dat its ebbory pus
son’s duty to cultivate his outsprinng to
de ’stent ob his debility. Frescribe de
name ob Ebaliueezah Snow onyo’ books.
Dat’s it. Ef you just put a few picturs in
Ebb’s paper it wud please de chillun
mightily. Here’s six cents, sah. Send
de paper ’lohg and if it gibs sassofaetion
I’ll come and prescribe for a full month.
Good morning.”— l'hila. Paper.
LUNAR NONSENOE.
If wo accepted literally ever lunar preju
dice the moon would rule many things
besides tho weather. Madmen and lunatics
would be subject to her power. There
are veterinary surgeons who say that the
sight of certain horses become dim or
clear according to tho phases of the moon.
Woodmen insist that if trees arc felled
with a waning moon the wood will speedily
decay. Housewives declare that if you
kill your pig, as you ought, with a crescent
moon the bacon will swell nicely in the
boiling; if, on the contrary, when she is
in the wane, it will shrivel, shrink and bo
hard and good for nothing. Finally, all
sailors in a mass, except the most highly
educated officers, attribu to every change of
weather to the moon. Why? Nobody
knows. Such, like prejudices, must be
aeepted and their truth taken for granted
without discussion. There is no want of
instances. It is exactly because prejudices
are beyond the reach of discussion that it
is so difficult to bring them to reason.
Natural philosophers have perfectly
explained the phenomena attributed to La
Lune Rousse, tho Red Moou, which are
really caused by the state of the atmos
phere. Gardeners, nevertheless, persist
in making the Red Aloon (the lunation
between tho Faschal and tho Fentecostal
Moons) responsible for the morning l'rosts
which frequently occur at thatseason. But
the ancients never entertained the idea
that the moons phases were the cause o
chages in the weather. It was Jupiter’s
privilege to assemble the clouds and to
dart the thunderbolts. Tho lucky and
unlucky days of the lunar month belong
to astrology, and riot to meteorology.
Bouvard, Arago and many others have
proved by brig series of observations that
the moon does not affect the weather.
Labor in vain! The majority of sailors
interpret the moon’s age, each according
to his own private rule of belief. The
only effectual refutation would be to strike
at the root of the evil in early youth, and
make school children repeatedly recite
and copy truthful sentences, such as “It
is redtculous to believe in sorcerers,
witches, weie wolves and red moon;” “It
is not true that the new moon changes
the weather; that the full moon eats up
the clouds; that thunderbolts are made of
stone,” and other items of the vulgar
creed. Accurate knowledge of facts might
thus be promoted by a catechism of things
not to be believed.
—— -
When Judge Lester arose to speak at
Dalton last Saturday the people outside
clamored for admittance into tho alre; dy !
full court house. J udge J jester called out
in tones reminding the soldiers present of
other days, “oloso up, boys, close up.”
Dr. Felton lias turned out to be a hos
pital rat. All the boys know what that
means. Eat all the fresh, nice chickens,
and take an old rooster, trot him through
a pot of hot water, and send the broth
round with a feather in each plate to
prove it was chicken soup. Bully for
Felton! —Rome Courier.
A contemporary referred in his local
columns to a ‘bracelet lost by an estimable
young lady of our city,’ and requested tho
finder to leave it at her residence. The
compositor set it up ‘breeches lost,’and
tho proof-reader let it go at that. The
young lady says she would not advertise
in that paper if she were to lose $40,000
worth of jewelry.
Hope the gallant one-armed Lester will
teach Dr. Felton, despite Ben Hill's ad
vice, a lesson that will make Lima better
Democrat hereafter. Judge Lester has
a whole team in his accomplished wife, to
aid him. She may not know as much of
the fashions as does Mrs. F., but let her
mingle among the sterling housewives of
the Seventh, and she will prove a trump
card. She may not be familiar with
•‘purple and fine linen,” but wo go our
all upon her familiarity with a chicken
pie ami a good, old-fashioned apple
dumpling. —Madison Home Journal.
There is one thing which nature does
not supply, and which civilization renders
quite necessary to fowls. It it charcoal.
Charcoal made of wood does not answer
the purpose; it lias no taste of food, is not
attractive to fowls, and is seldom eaten.
But if any one will put an oar of ripe corn
into the fire until the grains are well
charred, and then shell off the corn and
throw it to the flock, he will see an
eagerness developed and a healthy consti
tution brought about which will make a
decided improvement. All pale combs
will become a bright red, that busy song
which precedes laying will be heard, and
the average yield of eggs will be greatly
increased.
To destroy bugs on a squash or cucum
ber-vinos, dissolve a table-spoonful of
salt peter in a pailful of water; put one
pint of this around each hill, shaping the
earth so that it will not spread much,
and the thing is dono. Use more salt
peter if you can afford it; it is good for
vegetables, but death to animal life. Tho
bugs burrow in the earth at night and fail
to rise in the morning. It is also good to
kill the “grub” in peachtrees —only use
twice as much, say u quart or two to each
tree. There was not a yellow or b'istered
leaf on twelve or fifteen trees to which it
was applied last season. No danger of
killing any vegetables with it; a concen
trated solution applied to beans makes
them grow wonderfully.
January and Alay have had to run for
their lives before the fury of an English
mob at Hanley. A fortnight ago a bride
groom of 70 led to the alter a girl of 18.
'1 he villagers regared tho marriage as an
unnatural and dieadful act, and mani
fested their indignation by attacking the
couple at the door of the AIo thodist chapel
tearing their wedding clothes and ill treat
ing them generally. The mob then rushed
into the chapel, notwithstanding the
efforts of a small body of police to exclude
them, broke one of the windows, and such
a scene of violence ensued that it required
all tho exertions of the police to protect
the objects of wrath from personal injury.
Ultimately, the old man escaped from the
building by ono door, his newly married
wife by another, and by the aid of a police
escort succeeded in reaching their home
in safety. —Savannah News.
Iloligeous zeal sometimes overleaps
itself and falls upon the other side. A
peasant in the Palatinate of the Rhine,
having married a Frotestant wile, cove
nanted that all their boy children should
be baptized as Catholics, and all their girl
children as Prolestarits. Ron. an Catholic
Pfarrer of the place argued with ti e
father, in and out of season, in order to
induce him to consent that at least one of
his gills should be brought up a Catholic,
and i hue secure a hope ofmeeting with Ik r
male parent in the future world. The
honest man hold so conscientiously to his
covenant with his wife’s family, that Iris
pastor took down the last weapon in his
armory. He told the father that ho
should be compelled so exclude him from
the Easter Communion. Immediately
before Easter Day, the man went to the
Protestant Pfarrer, taking his four boys
with him, who had nil been baptized as
Homan Catholics, and i e and they quietly
passed over to tho Reformed Com
munion.
NUMBER 30.
"LNIIEK PIKE.”
The first time that a soldier goes into
action he fancies tho shot he hears whiz
zing through the air is aimed at him.
But if he is not hit at fiist, ho soon ac
quires a sort of fatalistic Fooling that lie
never will be. The eve of a battle might
bo supposed to be a solemn moment. I
have been at several eves, and 1 never
perceived the vestige of solemnity, nor
—so far as I could perceive— did it strike
any otic that the next day he might bo
killed. The thoughts of every one were
concentrated first on supper, and then on
finding a comparative y comfortable place
in which to sleep. During a batt’c all not
immediately engaged arc simply bored.
If ever a hand-to-hand fight takes place
it is due to %otne bungler being in com
mand on one side or the other. Most of
the regiments engaged do not see the
enemy. Attacking in columns and bayo
net charges are things o( the past. Shells
and bullets are fired into a position or
upon troops advancing. The victory is
decided by artillery and breech-loader
firing. Those who can concentrate the
heaviest fire upon particular strategical
points win. So mechanical is tho whole
affair that it is an admitted axiom that if
one-third of the best regiment in tho
world can be put hors de combat, the
remainder will execute a strategical
manoeuvre to the rear.
"CARRY THE NEWS TO HEN.”
Ben Hill in his gratuitous and incon
sistent letter, said “no man lias a right to
defy his party, and if Dr. Felton defied
his party he would help to beat him.”
Now Ben either meant what lie said or ho
didn’t. It is time for him to buckle on
his armor. The day before the Ringgold
Convention met, the Bartow delegates,
F. P. Gray, Esq., and Dr. Stephens, went
to Rev. Mr. Felton and asked him if he
would allow his name submitted to tho
Democratic Convention, he replied: “I
will have nothing todo with conventions."
They asked agaiu: "Well, Doctor, if you
are nominated by that couvention, will
you accept tho nomination?” His reply
was: “I will have nothing to do with con
ventions.” There was a solicitation and
consession made by Democratic delegates,
but Dr. Felton openly defies the party
and will have nothing to do with it. Now,
where’s tho “harmony” that Hill said
Felton was anxious to bring about? Come,
Ben, up and at him! —Marietta Journal.
A rich old batchclor, Air. Shaw, lives
oil a live hundred acre farm in Lewis
county, Ky. lie dresses like a monk of
the thirteenth century, and devotes his
whole time and fortune to flowers and
tropical fruits. His farm is surrounded
by a high fence, without gates or bars.
His house is covered with rare vinos: ho
has fig trees twenty years old and flowers
by the acre. lie never derives a cent
from his outlay of money and labor, but
delights in “multiplying curious growths
and combining natuie and art in wonder
ful forms.” He calls bis large colony of
bees his children, ami the birds that feud
from bis table bis little angels The
birds follow him through tho walks and
take the berries from his hand.
■— —♦♦♦♦
In San Angel, near tho City of Mexico,
a family expected a package containing
rosaries and other religious articles. A
box arrived which was supposed to con
tain the expected things. The mother
directed it to be opened, and indulged in
prayers before that work was begun. A
s, rvant began with hammer and chisel,
ami a few blows disclosed that the box
contained a smaller one - The second box
was opened, and two small boxes weio
disclosed. The first stroke on one of these
was followed by a tremendous explosion,
which destroyed the furniture of the
room, broke windows, doors and walls,
and killed all in the room except ono
woman.
An lowan has invented a balloon turban
fire escape, to bo placed on the head and
fastened firmly beneath the chin. When
a fire breaks out the wearer adjusts it
firmly on his head and jumps out of the
window; the air fills tho balloon and ex
pands it, and the wearer floats to the
ground as lightly and gently as a thistle
down. By way of additional precaution
padded shoes, with springs in the soles,
are provided.
The Indianapolis Sentinel says: “That
the thieves and friends of thieves who
clamor for Grant would be willing to see a
change of government with Grant installed
as Dictator, King, Emperor, or potentate
of son e kind, vve have no doubt, and that
such is tl.oir ulterior design there is tho
general belief.”