Newspaper Page Text
THE SAD FATE OF ASH ABEL LEE.
Many a year has gone clown in tlie tide
Of tho'reatWa, rolling sou,
Since 1 and my newly wedded bride,
The beautiful Annabel Leo,
Went on our bridal rai voud ride,
That was so disastrous to me.
Sho was fair, and I was young—
-1 and inv Annabel Leo;
1 had the burs and she had the tongue.
And then who were thorn to m>
Sav that the very ear roof rung
With the taffy she gave to mo.
But the rich maroon of that lice tic noon
Will never lose? toi tors for me
We stopped for grub, but not too soon
For the beautiful Annabel Lee,
For she wa taint as a hungry oar,
From her ivory fort to her curdh.ul hair,
Was my beautiful Annabel Lc .
And she went into business then i.u i them
My unfortunate Annabel Lee!
The pork and doughnuts, atuT pickles an
beans,
Disappeared like a frightened flea,
And 1 thought it lueky that adequate m at
Had been invested in me,
To pay tor tilling my queen of queens,
M> beautiful Annabel Lee.
She looked no love, she spake no spatvu .
With her ’twas a matter of silence and
Until 1 began to bo
A little afraid, and compelled to bes. .-u
My during, my darling, my sweetheart
peach,
I'o let up on the g r-u b!
\nd that is the reason that years
M* beautiful Annabel Lee
>\ ent tor a piec eof ail road pie,
And slid up the f-l-u m e,
For sh • was 1m min, and her gaslit: force,
Though i nod wasn’t that of a thoroughbred
horse,
Or a steam e-n-g-i n e.
And so f happeued that on tiut pie
My darling. m\ darling, went up to the sky.
Nl\ beautiful Annabel Lee
A.,a,!■ :, ei< fo l turn on my right
And < urious dreams come to me.
Of tm dar’ing, m > love in the r. altns above,
old 1 wrestling tha r tough p i e.
—Drake's travelers' Stagaii*u.
Important Agriculture Statistics.
A writer in tin* lut< rmithmut Jlrvit tv,
who seems to have ilru.wi his facta ami
figures from official sutuves, turuislies
some interesting ami important informa
tion in r.yanl to the inei use of various
crops in this country, tie says that in
the last fifteen years the production of
wheat and barley lias trebled; eorn, eot
ton and tobueeo moiv than : ; hay
increased more than one nurd, a ltd oats
almost 140,1X10,000 laishel*. Here art*
the statistics; in Is,;. -Un, ♦I cat eroj>
was 148,5X5,00;i 1.1; !u !s; ru IS?. 1 . 14,5,-
750,000; corn, in lfid.i, 7u4,42",ooobush
els, and in 1870, oats, in
1800 235. , 252.(*r'. , ';0. Un 1879,304.253,-
OtKt, rye, Jfi..',44,1.l 22,040,000: 1 .al
ley 11,301.000- 10,184.000; potato's,
101 ,088,00(4-181,300,000:' hay, 33.538,-
000 toils 048.000; tobacco, 183,327.-
o®o pounds- to 384.059,000; cotton 2,-
* 339,0tN) hid, 5,020,000.
The writer at trite it. • the increase in
cereals to t to■ lAfafe/* and population and
developin' it. of iffiOtVestorn and North
western Stole;-. pp toys that dimnjj; the
present oencration the corn ha- been
transfen-e 1 from tin South to the West
end til'd wiieat centre from tlie Middle
States to the far West.. In 1812, 59 per
cent, and in 1850, 52 per cent, of our
com was irrown in the Southern States.
In 1877, 8.50,000,0 id bushel cam 1 from
Ohio, Indie; ;). Ilihioi. 1.,v,,t. Missouri,
Kansas and Neln i I’iie product of
all the rest of the Union was only 101,-
558,0(X) bushels Ihe tobacco increase—
-100,000,000 pounds from 1870 to 1,878 -
has been, of course, mainly in the South
In tlie same seeti< ;i mid same period
cotton lms increased from 3,012,000 to
5,210,009 1 >.tl s, Arhansiis and Texes
being the leadin*: St.it s in this ad
vance. In the formi*r, 11 l,oi)0,000 pound
were raised in 1870, mid 318,0(H),000 in
1878; in the latt, r, in 1870, 157,000,000
pounds, and in 1878, 500,000,000,
Only about 0 per cent,, it is said, oi
the n;:tio*lgraiii crop i- xjinvted, in
cludingSl.7o jK*r cent, of the wheat, and
3.40 of the com. Tie* total -ports of
all grains w,-i 3;t.i.ti l Ini.-e i- in
18t!8; iu 1878 they h. 1 j.- ito i- ',000,-
000. The exp arts ar ■ til;-Iv to increase
witli the p;,>;l , thm, ilw i.;h in a far
smaller proportion; and the time is not
far Instant when tlie United States will
be the dominant power in the grain mar
kets if the world.
The Perils of Pearl Oiling*.
The number of shells is not any guide*
to the number ot t ai ls, mid • vi-h tho
roughest average xihieli the diver may
mak of the value of the season's eollae
tion is, therefore, liable to be utterly
wrong. Tin* shells themselves are, how
ever, of preutcouimereial value, and often
yield a larger revenue than the season's
Hud of gems, so that tin diver really
never goes down in vain. The diver has
aluevs envoiirac*■ ment in periious labor;
. and to the lust, even when lie takes liis
fatal dive to tile v.ailing shark, la) has
still die fascinaiion bo tore him of a pon
sikle prize that shall ..scud Win honje to
ljva ~t ea for tilt; *. stofJHs life. ■Ho
he calls out to.'the ’’finimt-eliuniter to
charm Ids Iststj'iiml, with the delusive
Spell ringin:; in hi ears, plunges down
fa. utli. Hut. the monster ot th deep
Wl lat has lieen lying waiting for him far
under the shadow* of the boat, cares little
for exorcism or ciichautuieul v and so the
diver is never seen again. His comrades
ill tlie boat feel the rope suddenly slack
en and as suddenly raised; the lessened
strain tcllsits grim s* ,rv at once, auil then
tin* empty bucket comes floating up to
the surfae . allies- that the diver is
d#; Ii Ha* vas* :.; of <
however, the divers grow old at their
toil, neither meeting with shark* nor I
r King's rants .ms in their groping* along j
shell-sti vm looks, and the Bahrein >
speak of it as a monotonous and lalsn*- I
ions means of livelihood, and one iu I
which tin * competeßce.
| ,Tlie si -on tli"ir work are
s'lualid, aim >t ■ f ( the shore ,
is heaped with and. ■•■a;, m nn's-e- of ovn- !
t CT s. a ~br-■••/.* i'* ij* ; idly blows the I
smell of them ai r the encampment of
the fishers, which 1, vodteriug under ‘
a terrible sun. and but |">rly provid'd,
with even the few things that go to make
the Oriental e uo-tahle. lii Ceylon \
matters are but littl- better, as far .ns ■
the diver- ai * per-.•: ally -on. .rued, and
in China anil Japan the industry is one 1
that attracts only the lover order-. From I
these soui i. s most of the y in- of our
markets are derived, Cut the pearl oys
ter is of such extorsive distril'iitiou, a
creature of every -liore, that nearly all
countries contribute ] >•.. '.*! - to the general
stock. —London ‘T* (eyruph.
Smart Boy.
“ Well, sonny, whose pigs are those V
“Old sow’s, sir!"
“ Whose sow* is it ?”
“ Old man’s, sir.”
“ Well, then, who is your old man V
“If you'll mind the pigs, 111 run
home and ask th* old woman.”
“Never mind, sonny, I want a smart
boy ; what can yon do ?”
“Oh! I can do more than consul, T
able. I can milk these geese, ride the
turkeys to water, hamstring the grass
hoppers, light the fires for flies to court
by, cut the buttons off dad’s coat when
he is at prayers, keep tally for dad and
mam when they scold at a mark—old
woman is always ahead.”
“ Got any brothers?”
“Lots of ’em, all named Bill, except
Bob, his name’s Sam—my n-i ■ Lai
but they call me Lazy Lawrence, t . *
shortness.”
" Wall, you’re most too smart,
<£l)c ©iqcttc.
VOL. X
Americans in tiurope.
A correspondent writes to the Spring
-1 field Republican: The majority of
Americans, when they come to Kurojw
for the first time, are always amazed at
the expense of foreign traveling. They
mid always harbored the impression that
i the cost of everything on this side of the
! Atlantic—railway tickets, hotel bills,
etc., were at least only one-half what
| they were in America; nut, on the eon
! truly, they find it eosts much more to
travel here than it does at home. In
the best American hotels the price of
three olid four dollars a day seems ex
travagant, lint they cannot comprehend
why it is that in a first-class foreign ho
tel, where the price of a room is nub
three or four francs a day, and the <>tL,■ *
charges seem so moderate, their hills
foot up to such high figures.
Wlule taking my breakfast one morn
ing at the Hotel Chatham in Paris, five
Americans entered the dining-room and
seated themselves at a table near me.
There was the father and mother, a son
of about 14, and two daughters about
10 and 12. From their conversation 1
learned it was their first trip to Europe,
and that they had come directly to Paris
on lauding at Liverpool, and had no
had a "square meal” since they left
homo. After canvassing among them
selves as to what their appetites craved
and demanded on the bill of fare, the
head of the family gave the
waiter the following order ; Five plates
of melon, which were then very ex
pensive, live fried soles, five ] M )ts of cof
fee, five ham and eggs, fried hominy,
five beefsteaks, hot rolls, five fried pota
toes, butter, radishes, etc. If they had
ordered two dishes of a kind, so gener
ous was the supply, it would have been
more than enough to satisfy their iipja*-
tites ; but they were “American: ,'' and
evidently thought the reputation of their
country, in the eyes of other stranger:
in the dining-nxim, demanded nothing
less than a full complement to each per
*on. As near as I could figure up their
account, that breakfast cost in the neigh
borhood of $lO. The table d’hote din
ner at night was at a fixed price, and, if
their lunch, at l o’clock, corresponded
w ith their lire**,kfest, no wonder surprise
is manifested fit the l.agli rates of living
in foreign hotels.
Hi* Courteons Lawyer.
Tou recognize tlie courteous lawyer at
once. He places a chair gracefully for
Ids client, whether the client is an ele
gantly attired lady in sealskins and
liiiimonds or a clumsy bumpkin in home
spun and liquor. He smiles sweetly at
; i opponent, and bows to the jury in a
deferentially familiar way. He pays the
let s to the clerk before he has the
trouble to ask for them, and draw's the
biils out of his pocket W>ok slowly, one
by one, as gently ns he would toad a
belle from h r carriage to the bull-room.
Uis bow to the court is almost an apology
for having come into the profession con
temporaneously with his Honor, lie
handles a witness as though lie was the
frail golden setting and his testimony the
gem he was trying to remove. His tones
are carefully modulated, and he appeals
for a reply to the kindly sensibilities ot
the witness. “He so good” is the cap
tivating exordium, and “ thank you ” the
palliative peroration. If lie wounds with
a question, he binds up tlie sore tin
ittixt moment with the liuiment of polite
ness, To his opponent he overllows
with generous waivtrs and admissions,
and if by chaneo lie interpolufccb. a re
mark, he does it as thoi di ho was put
ting a boquet in his iulv( i-saryV button
hole. He thinks he uinh i 1 ids tie
court. He hopes lie d>< s not misappre
hend his learned friend. 11 trust, the
witness knows what he no uns. In ad
dressing the jury, he unbosoms his up
pivciation of their intelligence a <i
ability. Ho lays his arguments b. brc
them with respect amounting almost to
reverence, as though they u'*re pro
pitiatory offerings to a deity whom lie
wished to placate. To the court his
whole demeanor is redolent' ot respect.
The court is most honorable; the jud”
most distinguished. He is, in short, v
tilled with human consideration for every
thing and everybody around him, that h<
finds excuses for the jury that beats him
and for the court that nonsuits him. b
is true, he has been know to revile an
adversary in private, to curse suvjvpd
tiously, and to sneer at. tb“ judiciary in
the social circle. His 4 ils;> true that h
can wrench f . from a client in a ruth
h - ■ tr. m .it and take a snap judgment
when he thinks it sufe. But those little
trifles only show that he is human, and
In knows that men arc not apt to believe
that tt head with such a halo of polite,-
Ties around it can have for its pedestal a
cloven foot. _
How Ladies Dress in Hernia.
She wore a bright red satin skirt,
richly embroidered with gold lace; it was
very full aud short, barely reaching to
her knees; a loose jacket of blue velvet,
also much trimmed—this time with sil
ver lace; the sleeves were made of cash
mere shawl buttoned by about twenty
small buttons. She wore several neck
laces, most of them very massive, stud
ded with fine turquoises. On her head
she wore a white shawl, with a band of
jewels round her forehead, and at one
side a large pearl star. She had on both
arms at least a dozen bracelets -some
handsome ones, some only bands of col
ored glass. Her feet were covered with
coarse white socks; her shoes green
leather with scarlet heels. Home of the
ladies wore bright red trousers, reaching
to the ankle; but this was quite the ex
ception. They wear a long veil, reaching
from head to foot, generally made of some
smart print of muslin. I ought to men- 1
tion that every lady wore a small leathei !
case around her neck, containing some
earth from Mecca and verses from the
Koran. The faces of my hostess and
friends were much decorated, the eye-*
brows broadened and carried quite across
the nose. Home had small designs tat
tooed on the cheeks. The liair is very
long and thick, generally died red; it. is
worn plaited in many thin tails, twisted
with gold thread. The hands are well
shaped, but nails and palms are stained
<5 dark red. Tinsley'* Muf/aziue.
- Wet,” asked a governess of her lit
tle charge, “ do we pray God to give us
our daily bread ? Why don’t we ask for
tour days, or five days, oi a ' V|4 ;k ?”
“Because we want it fresh,’ replied
uitfeniouß child.
SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING. MARCH 21. 1883.
Catastrophe*.
The year has opened with a aeries of
terrible warnings of the ragmentariness
of human life. The old year is uniform
ly dismissed without regret as weari
some and disappointing! if not down
right unlucky, ihe new year is hailed
with eager haste as one that may be des
tined to stand out in human memory
a brighter and happier period, in
which the depressing in; uences of un
foreseen calamities and economic dis
as ers may bo avo'ded. Eighteen hun
dred and eighty-throe, ho we or, has
dawned with leaden skies and portents
of evil. In France the greatest Repub
lican has been stricken down, and li s
death ha been followed by many s>ns
of polit cal incapacity, social agitation
and national despondency. tin the
('outincut the ll< ods have borne devas
tation an l misery in their train. From
every quarter there arc tidings of dis
aster. The hotel lire in Milwaukee, the
circus catastrophe in Russia, the ra lway
accident near Tehiehipa l‘a<s, the loss
of two staunch ocean steamships, and
numerous other disasters on sea and
land, are not 4 uly appalling horrors, but
omens of depression and gloom. Men
are already saying in their hearts: *’ it.
will be a disagreeable \ ear, il nothing
w
lie ore the agencies of > earn, elec
tricity and the public press wen? multi
plied, the effect of sudden catastrophes
was com nod to the localities in which
they occurred. When the lower ill
SiL am fell, then' was no lack of talk iu
the neighboring villages, and therumof
ol the disaster wast arried beyond Jeru
salem into the hill-country, but the
worid outside did not know what had
happened. The collapse of the great
clrmncy-stack in Bradford a few weeks
ago was telegraphed instantly to the
ends o the earth, so that it was known
simultaneously in Calcutta, the Eu
ropean capita s, San Francisco and New
York that sixty men, women ad chil
dren had suddenly censed to exist in the
workada . world. Rut outside* Bradford
there was s arcoly a s.ngle point of hu
man interest in ilie calamity. Archi
tects may have been warned against
sacri eing the principles of security to
handy proportions, and li!e ins ranees
ciiivasser- may have obtained anew
fact to lav before working people: but
the human sutiering which had been
caused left no impression upon the
numbs o:’ readers at* a distance. Three
hundred people are trampled under
foot or burned to death in a circus in
Poland; but the fact excites no more
emotion iu the heart if an American
reader than the footings of a table of
mortality statistics Four hundred
emigrants and sailors are suddenly
swallowed up by the sea. There is a
short controversy respecting compart
ments in a ship’s hull and a momentary
curies t \ to learn what ex<m-o the com
mander of the other steamship can offer
for not attempting a rescue; but the
agony which was caused in a single in
stant, when hundreds of these quiet and
simple j easanis and working people
were brought face to face with their
doom, is only a vague generalization.
In a week it is forgotten by the general
public.
It s only in exceptional instance- that
these tragic occurrences leave any per
manent impression upon the public
mind outside the immediate localities
whore- they occur. The facts are known,
but su lering i not brought close to the
emotions ands. rnpath.es. A day
I as ns and men arc thinking o .some
thing newer and pleasanter. A month
goes by, and 188:5 b not considered
especially unlu< ky, but only an average
year, with starting o currences now
and then, but with the i sual out ome
of peace, prosperity and security. A
year rolls by, and there is a vague feeling
of d'sappointment and depression find
an eager hope that another year will ho
cheerier and brighter. There is in
variably a speedy reaction from the dis
count ement and sense of insecurity
caused by the vicissitudes of human
ile-tiny.
It may be that the world as it grows
older is becoming more and more ac
customed to the conditions of its being,
f 'erta n-l the impressions of helping -
ness caused bv catastrophes like tlio-o
which have been rc cntly recorded are
only vague and transitory. The thrill
of borne’ e e P-d bv such reri als i- ell.
only momentarily: the sense of insecur
ity and the. feeling of unrest soon pass
away. Men learn to expect < atas'ro
phes and to make allowance for them
in the Fruvidential scheme of the uni
verse. Yet they can not explain them.
Tha seventy weary travelers and hotel
servants should suddcnl; be exposed to
the horrors of an agon zing death, that
three hundred men, women and chil
dren ho dd be wrenched out of life
I with torn ires unspeakable while en oy
' ing a town show in i oland, or that lour
hundred <•’ ilgrar** -■ seeking their fort
unes in anew land shoal 1 be drowned
be:ore they have fa-rly lost sigh: ot the
old country, i- as ine plieab e to-day as
the death of tin* thirty victims of the
Lower of *inam was to the Jew * oi
rid. The que-tion is no longer asked
as it was then: “Have these men sinned
nr their fathers, that they should perish
bo miserablyßut it is no easier now
than it wa then to reconcile the vicis
odes and mysteries of human 'ate
w ih an order!/; scheme o’ government
for tli" uni' <-r —.V. ) lnbun‘.
The colored population of 'Rappa
hannock. V; , are excited over the dis
-1 ri line re-- >rl v employed in the ease of
! aeobna-d fomaicscholar by * A* Yaney,
| Principal “ the colored graded shoo,.
Thr girl pleaded a headache for tardi-
I j tic teacher adopted the fol
low',; g novel remedy to cure both: A
I i<, •• •- nt to the druggist for eastor
< il, ,'.n l ri his return the teacher then
fl nd there attempted to make her swal
low it. .■ tter a long riruggle he suc
<-. e b and in tying the hands of the girl,
and adni 'c- ered the oil. f.h
'J in ice.
New Carrots with Cream.— Trim a
j quantity of tlie smallest new carrots that
! can he obtained, and boil them in salted
j water. When done, drain off the water.
| Melt one ounce of butter in a saucepan,
I add to it a desert -spoonful of dour, p- *p-
I per, salt, grated uutim*;;. pinch oi io\v-
I dered sugar, and a small quantity u*
cream. Put bi the ciuTots, Hiuiieer g**j
tly ft few minute.-, aud ucvn-
Mate Dinners.
The customs of State dinners at the '
While House arcs uuewhat changed un
ler President Arthur. 1 onnerly the
great Fast Room was not mu h usod on
these o ertsions, the guests being re
ceived by the President in the blue
Parlor, and thence escorted to the State
Dining-Room Now, however, the
uesis are received in the last Room,
:md spend some time there before go*
; ing to llu* State Dining-Room, pronieii
;ad ing slowly down the broad hall as
they pa s from the reception room to
the tables.
The details of those State events are
quite in cresting. The table in the
State Dining-Room in the Wh te t'ouso
will seat, by (dost* crowding, thirty-six
people. Th s. ilieii, is the limit of the
number invited, and usually there are
not less than thirty on these o easions.
Where it is convenient to do so. as
maii\ ladi(*s as gentlemen are iti
v ted. though at diplomatie dinners,
where all the foreign Min
is: t; r s here are to be present,
it is found impo.s- bin to seat as many at
the table as this plan would require so
that the rule D not alway- followed.
The tulle is usuallv \erv liamlsomely
ornamented w tli flowers, n huge floral
de iu n o' some sort appearing as a cen
ter piece, and smaller ones near the
ends. Two large golden i andelal ra, or
hr neh'ng eandlestiek", holding per
haps a do/.en candles apiece, occupy
plan’s on ti e table, otioat either end of
the floiat eonter-pieee. 'l’lieso eonta n
the linest of wax candles, which are
lightdl just before the dinner logins.
I Near tint ends of the table are smaller
can lelahra with perhaps a half-dozen
candies apiece, each having a little
pink-lined shade at the top supported
by a silver rod, which clasps the caudle
near the bottom
The plates are place 1 “right side up
with care” about thirty inches apart
around the table. < n each plate t! e nap
kin is laid, and on theiiapkin the bouquet
or the ladies a t at corsage houqin t of
rosebuds, and Himci ines lilies of the
valley; for the gentlemen usually a s,n
--g e half opened rose-bud. Reside
i these is laid a card, one on each plate,
and on it the name of the person who is
to sit at this place.
I lie huad of the table on these oc
casions is not. at tlie end, hut in ilio
middle. The scat occupied by thel’res -
dont is half way up the side of the
table, at the side next the door at which
th<* guests enter. The lady whom he
escorts to dinner sits at his right, and
the honored guest on the occasion sits
directly opposite the President, with his
lady on his right Those who arrange
the tarie, and the order in which the
guests sit, of course, arrange so that
gentleman and wife do not sit side by
side under any cir uni-dances.
When the arrangement for seating is
completed, and each person has been
assigned to his place, a card is prepared
for each gentleman and placed in an
envelope hearing li is uam*. On one
side of this card is a plan of the tab c, *
wit h each seat numbered. (hi the ot her
side is the name of the lady whom he is
jto escort to the table*, and lie numbers
iof the seats they arc to occupy. The e
1 envelopes are handed to Ihe gentlemen
as they enter, and a soon as the gentle
man has “shed” his out or garment - lie
examines Ins card, curses or blesses the
fates which have cotisigne I him to an
uncongenial or a congenial partner for
the evening, and hie hm to the Fuat
Room, where, a* ter i ay ing his respects
to the President, In* hunts up his lady,
and prepares for tin* evening. Mean
time, the famous Marine Rand has taken
its place in tin* vestibule.
Alter a half-hour spent in conversa
tion in the Fa<t Room, the. President
gives (lie signal to an attendant, who
passes it on to the band, which .-trikes
up somi ■ appropriate selection, and the
President, giv ng his right arm to the
lady whom ho is to escort to dinner,
leads the way to the dining-room. The
others follow, each gentleman giving
his arm to the lady designated by his
card. The President usually takes to the
table the wile of the. Secretary of State.
The. promenade down the long hall
to the (lining room is very slow, and is
a striking and beautiful spectacle. The
ladies, ot course, are in evening cos
tume -the handsome l that money
and ingenuity can provide and tlie
gentlemen in dress suits; the lights
brilliant, the hall lined with Lowers and
tropical plants, and the music entranc
ing. Arriving at tin* table the guc-ts
are -caked iu their order, and the din
ner, which is usually in twelve or four
teen courses, with a half-dozen difler
ent wines, occupies fully three hours,
and, it may Ik; added, is good. Wash*
nt'l’ou Cor. (J/tt<■'!(/" . hfurnui ..
Won a Wife by Ills longue.
A frisky old bachelor who lives above
Willow Ranch commenced a correspond
ence with a girl living in the east a
short time ago, and finally proposed to
her that if she would come out to Cali
fornia he would marry her. She con
sented, and he remitted the money to
her. She arrived in Reno, Nevada, and
stopped over a few days to rest. While
ther she heard bad accounts of Modoc,
was told that the. elevated portion of tin
country was buried under snow, and the
low-lands were deep under water; that
flour and sugar there were none, and
when the sun sets the natives go to bed
f>n account of not having lights. Tin;
vile wretch who slandered (?) Modoc to
her had un ax to grind. After thoroughly
searing her out of the idea of coming to
Modoc County, he proposed marriage to
her, and was accepted forthwith, she
deeming it. more sensible to marry a
young man and live in a pleasant home
than take such desperate chances out
here*. — Modoc (Cal.) Independent,
Be kind to the soap agent. He has a
father, perhaps, and a mother, who knew
him in his innocent youth. Perhaps
even now, in some western village, fond
hearts are heating for him and sweet
lips breathe love s deafest prayers for his
welfare. Therefore lay him down ten
derly, fold his hands peacefully on his
breast and close his eyes gently as you
put him to rest under the branches of
: the weeping willow, where tin* birds
j carol all through the summer days their
! soft song. But plant him deep—plant
! him deep. —Danbury Xcujh.
Tim active drummer may be re
garded as :t commercial scentev. V O,
idea y (Oil
Joking on High Olympus.
It was a bright afternoon, and the im
mortals were sitting on high Olympus,
watching the cremation of some insane
American, who thought there wasn’t
enough land on this continent to bury
him in, when the blue-eyed maid re
marked:
“Mars."
The Colonel hastily folded up his map
of the lava beds and slipped it into his
pocket.
“Speak, Minerva, the class is up. Go
ahead with the oral.”
“When thoyput a mnn into the crema
tory or retort, or whatever they cull it,
what figure of expression does it remind
you of?”
The Colonel scratched his grieved shin
(now don’t ask us what it w.w gri ved
about, or we will tell you it was grieved
about to the knee, for we are in n<> hu
mor for nonsense), and presently lie said
he w asn't much of a scholar on raw gram
mar, but ho believed it was a kind of
erysipelas, “something left out. you
know.”
“Well,” said the goddess, “but what
is left out?”
The Colonel hesitated a moment, and
said he hadn’t considered in regards of
that, and Hermes remarked that il was
probably an interpolation, because the
man was put in.
Vulcan, who happened along witli a
new hinge for the front gate, asked if it
wasn’t hotologv.
Juno didn’t think it could In* tautology,
because it wasn't always the same man;
indeed, it never was the same man.
“ It’s the same man this time, isn’t
it?” asked her husband, cautiously
throwing up his elbow’ to the level with
his head.
Ganymede, the barkeeper, said lie
thought it was a hyperbole, because it
was awfully extravagant; $35 per man ut
the Washington (Pa.) Crematory was the
regular charge for every barbecue.
Saturn, who came up this afternoon,
it being Friday, with a string of fish,
said he thought it was synodochc, but on
being asked ivhat synedoelie war.. I'rmili
ly confessed that he didn’t know, mid
went down three.
Apollo thought it wuh a bit of trochaie
meter, because the nmti was put in his
coffin.
It took tho Immortals a long time to
catch on to this, and then ■luphci: re
marked that they weren't running a col
lego infirmary up there.
“N0.,” said his amiable married sUler,
“no, pharmacy’s sake, don’t talk doetor
sliop. What do you think it i~, Miner
va?”
The blue-eyed goddess turned down ,
her place in Kinerson, adjusted In i eye
glasses and said, with great precision:
“ Why, the retort searches. Does not
it strike you that way?”
But alter a moment of silence the Col
onel said he wasn’t up to this new
fangled pronunciation very well, ml tin
immortal Jove called to I" to
bring him a “light one," nt; tin :.nun:
time holding up all the fingers on one
hand behind bis wife’s head.
Laiißlte<l all tliti gorin, the hcnvrnn with hut M -i
broke,
And wine Minerva thought 'lwas at hi i >'.>.
— Burl■ nylon Ha tnksye.
Mammoth Trees in California.
A correspondent who has been visiting
the grove of big trees in Galawnis
County, Cal., writes as follows :
It has always been so difficult for me
to form any conception of the si/e of tlie
mammoth trees from given figure* . but
when I went into tlie grove anil saw litem
standing, and climbed twenty-six steep
steps to reach the upper side of a fallen
sequoya and became dizzy on looking
down to the ground f realized their im-
mense proportions; one of the gentle
men of the party reached his arm . at
full length and it took eight measures to
span one of the smaller trees.
Visitors have the privilege of naming
any of the big trees, and placing a mar
ble slab with the inscription thereon.
One noble great tree was called the
“ Mother,” another the “Father,” the
“Three Graces,” “ Hcnrf Ward
Beecher,” “General Grant,” etc., etc.
In this grove there are ninety-nine
trees within eighty acres. We took
horses and rode six miles to the “Hon ”
where wo saw the largest tree in tlie
world, “Old Goliah.” In this grove
there are thirteen hundred and eighty
trees, none measuring less than ix feet
in diameter.
We rode our eight horses into the ide
of one tree that had begn bur criout;
the guide said there was room for ten
more, and we could well believe it, for
we aid not take up one-third of the
room; and yet the fire had not. afteried
tho life of the tree; there was enough
vitality to grow on unconcerned. In
this grove many of the big trees were
named for States, which seemed more
appropriate.
Changes in Jerusalem.
A wonderful change has taken place in
Jerusalem of late years, and it ; proba
bly now a more comfortable : idoueo
than ever before in its history. Mr.
Schick, who holds tin* appointment of
Surveyor of Buildings in tin* Holy City,
has lately issued a very instructive re
port. He tells us that ruined houses
have been restored or rebuilt by indi
viduals or companies, and buildings on
tin* Peabody plan have been < i , ccled by
associations. The streets ao- now
lighted, kept, for an Eastern city, most
exceptionally clean, and the aqueduct
from the pools of Solomon has been re
stored, and water brought thence to the
city. Tanneries and slaughter houses
have been removed outside tlu* town.
The sanitary department i under the
control of a German physician, iicthh*
hem and Nazareth an* eagerly emulating
tho progress of the capital. In th*
latter place windows an* becoming quite
frequent. It is asserted that there is a
fixed resolution on the part oi thouands
in Prussia to make that country as hot us
possible for Jews, and it is not uulikriy
that this may in a measure increase the
already considerable number now return
ing to Palestine, more especially a; ihe
the German Jews already arc a. powm
iii Jerusalem. Tlie improvements are,
further, likely to lead to many Europeans
wintering there.
“ Slips, the wood won’t burn. 11l
tliry a little of yersclf, me darlint,” as
Bridget suid to the kerosene. '‘Von be
blowed!” us the kerosene said to Bridget,
NO. 9.
Vigilance Necessary In Building.
The difilciilty of gettriig n house built
to ones s;i •sfactioii is well illustrated ill
tin* experience of a Chicago gentleman,
as related in the Sunibnu Nnrs, who
lias just e mplcted a comfortable home,
lie gave his architect mod cioiinito in
structions, but hi* soon found that hard
ly anything was being done as he had
and reeled. Nobody employed about the
Imi and ng seemed to manifest thoslightest
interest iu his work, and bricks and
boat ds were put together with the ut
most disregard of the Ltness of things.
Lumber was wasted as though it
wrro to lie had for the hand
ling. The gentleman came to the con
e usion that it would be advisable to
Slav about llu* premises, and he did so
mod of the time, watching as many of
tli movements as he could. The result
was that each day usually opened with
tearing down or pulling apart the work
o; he dav previous. For example, ho
thought he saw something wrong in tho
la\ ing o tin* main drain for the sewer
age He reported to the architect, who
was to be held responsi le for defoc s.
The wor m u insisted tha everything
had been done inst exactly as it should
have been. Th * drains were dug tip,
nc\erthe’ess, and i: was found that no
connection had been made with the
street sewer at all. The last section of
pipe had been too short bv several
inches, and to the crafty drain la.er,
who was interested in sav ng time and
material, it was not considered necessary
o lengthen i . The fresh air duel lead
ing to the furnace had been ordered
built of unusual capa ity, for the reason
that the owner wanted none of the
common diflieulty about getting suf
lit out air to ventilate as well as warm
h h use. He watched the work on this
aT duet \ ery closely and was congratu
lating liirn elf that it was well made,
but. at last, discovered that the work
man narrowed the inlet by drawing in
each succeeding course of bricks as he
neared the top. When remonstrated
with, he aid he thought iu* was doing
the p oper tiling, as the duet \v iildu’t
let in so much cold air if smaller. So
in everything done about the horse—
the workmen had no more conception
of the purpose; which a healthy, com
fortable, and convenient house was to
serve than the to Is which they used.
By hiring an architect to watch them,
and then watching the architect himself,
he succeeded at length in getting a
house in which he takes some pride;
but it \\ is at tin* expense of extra funds
much valuable time mi I patient waiting.
Preparing the Ground for a Lawn.
The Niieees of a lawn depends upon a
vast (h*al of work that is quite out
of sight. We expect more of
the soil dt* oted to the lawn
than we do of any other part
of tin* grounds, for we are continually
crop;,in r it. and it can only give a con
ant -uccessioii of g; ass when the roots
have a. deep soil and sufficient nourish
ment. As it is desirable to have the
gr.os well established be ore hot
weather comes the seed must be
sown carlv, and to this end the soil
must he prepared as early as the
season will allow Only small areas,
such as fruit yards, croquet and
letini ; grounds, should be perfect
ly level. A slightly undulating
surface is more pleasing to tho eye than
n and ad level, ami it may be made to give
tho impression of a greater extent if the
surface is lad out in gentle swells, and
will give a betterefl'ert if sightly higher
ns it, approaches the house. Of course
there must be nothing like abrupt hills
aiiilho! ows.aml if any such occur where
the lawn is to be, they must be either
cut down or filled in. If the lawn is
such that it would require draining
to tit it for . arden orpps, then it will
need drainin ■ or a lawn. Indeed, all
i ut, very light sandy soils will be im
proved I)' draining with tiles. The
depth ai l distance apart o the drains
should be. .ueh as arc found best in the
I.elds of the vicinity. The next re
quis te is a doep’y worked soil. In En
-1 land the soil i- thoroughly trenched
two spades and (ip, but we can liar(II . ex
pect our conic, who avoid the use of
tin* spado where or possible, to tren li
the ground for a la.vn. The most we
can hope for is the deep st, pra ticable
j> owing, with tin* use of the subsoil plow.
ii the soil is ; oor. a generous coating of
manure sho dd be tinned under, but
if in lair condition, top dresain s may
be depended upon for fertilizing. After
th s preliminary work, the ground
should remain as 1 >ng as possible be
fore sowing, in order that it may proper
ly <*lli <•. If in anyplace the ground
scales unevenly, then fresh soil must, be
ded, when; needed, to bring the low
spots up to the proper level. Whether
the I:; it .to e laid down with seed, or
a s sometimes pro erable, if the area
is smu l, with turf, tin*, prel rainary
prepar'd n rnn-f be e |iially thorough,
if a tine and permanent turf is desired.
Adriculturint, _
Elopement Fashions.
The fashions for gil ls who elope just
now arc very plain. Home white drapery,
a convenient window, a long ladder, a
dark night, a coach, a minister and the
houf of a friend, and the elopement is
over. If the irate father, armed with a
double-barreled coal shovel and a town
constable, does not pursue, the affair is,
although picturesque, not exactly a suc
cch ,ful elopement. Tf the father of the
bride, relents within two (lays the foolish
couple arc not happy. If it leaks out
that the mother of the bride is in tho
secret, much of the pleasure of the trip
is spoiled. Tf both the father and mother
of tho bride, are in the secret of her going
away, and have actually left the ladder
in o* the window, and that fact is found
out, tin*, elopement is a failure. In the
olden time tlie eloping bride packed all
her portable goods on herself and went
away heavily laden. Now, as she is
about, to return iu a day or two in her
lady friend’s dross, sho goes away quite
light
A young girl who has tried it says
tho story that kissing woul I cure freck
les lacks the important element of truth;
but there is one thing, she a Imits,
greatly in favor of the remedy it is not
disagreeable to take. Hers, however,
may be a deep rooted, stubborn case,
and she shouldn’t feel discouraged be
cause fifteen or sixteen hundred appli
cations tailed to effect a cure. It won’t
cost much to give the medicine a cou
ple ofyeaFs tria 1 . li u r liny ton Haw key e,
WAIFS AMD WHIMS.
A wokd with liusinMs men —settla.
Ibon affected liy tog is mist rusted.
A mulr is tsine enough in froat, but
awfully wild behind.
A X.ITTLK eidur now and then is re
lished by the bout of men.
The man who can't remember that ho
was ever a boy is entirely ripe for the
harvest.
Htahcii is said to bo explosive. It
muses explosion in the family when the
old niau finds it has been loft out of his
collars.
A Boston paper says tho conductor of
a strcct-car in that city took 900 fares
last Sunday, but is entirely silent as to
how many tlie company got.
The Crown Prince of Germany gets
more puffing over giving a #3 fiddle to a
blind 1x iy than an American does over
leaving $40,000 to an orphan asylum.
The he is a fortunein store for the mil
liner who shall devise a bonnet that can
lie worn in any part of a church anil al
ways present its trimmed side to the con
gregation.
A poultry ciithoritysays that “chick
ens should have an ample range.” It
depends upon the number of chickens.
A little chicken will broil pretty well
over a very small stove.
Many persons who rake through an
other’s character with a fine-tooth comb,
to discover a fault, could find one with
less trouble by going over their own
character with a horse-rake.
It costs more than a hundred millions
of dollars annually to keep the fences of
tliis country in repair. Now, gentlemen,
get off tire fenee and stay off till after
election, and save your country a few
millions of this outlay.
Grown-up sister—“Oh, Charley, if
you must go away can't you introduce
me to one of your school-fellows, to look
after me till you come back?” Charley—
“Oh, no, it wouldn’t do! It would be
too rough on a fellow to tag him out like
that. ” — Punch.
Somebody who appears to know how
fashionable schools are managed, says;
“ To educate young ladies is to let them
know all about the ogies, omenies, the
ifies, the tics and tlie misties; but nothing
about the nigs, such us sewing, darning,
washing, baking and making pudding.”
“I say, mister, tliis is a double seat,
and you can’t lay over it in that way,”
said a stand-up passenger in a crowded
car to another passenger who was making
himself too much at home. “Can’t lay
over tho seat?” echoed the loafer. “Bet
your life I can. Soe here, I have a lay
over check from the conductor, nnd it is
good.”
A youno lady received the following
note, accompanied by a bouquet of
flowers: Dear , I send you bi tho
boy a bucket of flours. This is like my
love for ii. Tlie nite sliado meues kepe
dark. Tho dog fenil menes I am your
slave. Uesis red and posis pail, my love
for you slml never fule.”
Thf, flowing reporter who wrote, with
reference to a well-known belle, “Her
dainty feet were encased in shoes that
might lie taken for fairy boots,” tied his
wardrobe up in a handkerchief and left
for ports unknown when it appeared the
next morning: “Her dirty feet feet were
encased in shoes that might be taken for
ferry boats. ”
A Youno lady wlio is studying French
lately wrote to her parents that she was
invited to a dejeuner the day liefore, and
was going to a fete champetrc the next
day. The professor of the college was
surprised to receive a dispatch from the
“old man” a day or two after saying;
“If you don’t keep my daughter away
from these menageries and side shows, I
will come down and see what ails her. ”
It is amusing to watch a slim man
weigh himself. He steps on to the plat
form as an elephant steps upon a bridge,
with an awful fear of breaking the thing
down, and then puts the three-hundred
pound weight on the end of the beam.
Of course he takes it off again, but be
does this unostentatiously. Having found
that he weighs, say, one hundred and
twenty, if you watch him carefully you
will see him slide the weight along to
one hundred and seventy-five. ‘‘ By
George!” he will exclaim as he goes out,
‘ ‘ I’ve lost ten pounds since last week. ”
Ho doesn’t say how much he weighs
now; if you wish to know, there is the
scale. He knows you will look.
In the Wrong Room.
Shortly atter 12 o’clock a few nights
sgo a Philadelphia guest at one of the
large Atlantic City hotels was awakened
by a nudge from the sharpest of his
wife’s sharp knuckles. As he opened
hia eyes he saw by means of the ex
tremely faint light that penetrated from
the hall into the room the ligure of a
man, who stood silently by the bureau
and who, as it appeared, was fumbling
for whatever valuables might fall into
his clutches. The wife clung to her
husband’s arm and trembled so violently
that the latter feared lest the burglar
should hear and escape. Releasing his
arm, the guest slipped noiselessly from
the bed and holding his pillow as a
shield, he reached the burglar at a bound.
In the midst of crushed chair and
broken bric-a-brac the robber went
down, with his assailant on top. The
robber struggled hard to rise, but, being
stronger, the occupant of the room soon
had the thief spread out at full length
with the pillow on his head. The con
queror’s wife struck a light as quickly
ns possible and rang sharply for an at
tendant. When the night clerk reached
the room he saw a thrilling tableaux, the
chief figure of which was a power! ul
Othello strangling a male Desdemona iu
the middle of the floor. But the scene
was set in comedy after all, for when the
pillow was removed the thief's face
showed him to be the highly respectable
occupant of the adjoining aoom, a dear
friend of his assailant and altogether
aliove reproach. He simply had mis
taken the wrong room for the right one
and when knocked down was fumbling
about for a match.— Philadelphia
Timeh.
Senator Hamlin’s Endurance.
Ex-Senator Lot M. Morrill, of Maine,
speaking of the present venerable United
States Senator from that State, said:
Hamlin is the most remarkable man I
ever knew. He lias never known sick
ness, aud lias been most careful and at
tentive to his public duties of whatever
character, of any man in this country.
He never wore a piece of flannel or un
derclothing of any description, a pair of
gloves, or an overcoat. Even in our cold
ost weather, Mr. Hamlin, even at Ins ad
vanced age, plods along, dressed m the
coldest of costumes—the old-fashioned
Bwallow-tailed coat —without wiaps of
any kind, while his fellows are almost
frozen to death beneath big overeats
and the heaviest of underclothing. His
power of endurance is wonderful and his
capacity for work great.
A certain caravan orator at a fair,
after a long yarn descriptive of what
was to be seen inside, wound up by say
ing: “Step in, gentlemen, step In. Take
my word for it, you will be highly de
lighted when you get out.”