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ERUPTIONS,
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One bottle of R. 15. 15. nil! convince any
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for the rapid and powerful cure of nil
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other treatment. One thousand cases cured
In Atlanta. Send postal for homo proof.
Try one bottle for your blood. Sold by all
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rOR SALE BY
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SUMMERVILLE. GA.
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J>-* /tyyr.yfrv This cut shows ths
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p Magnetic Shield
HcysßiKl Ncrvo-v Itul
a. a r>< * only one needed tc
§\ 1 fa 1 fcf-ITIVELT Cl RE
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tl OF THE / l> y spi psiu.
•iD f Ht£Si Se minal Weuk
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YOUNG MEN, from early indiscretion, lack
nerve force and fail to attain strength.
MIDDLE-AGED MEN often lack vigor, attribut
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The MOTHER, WIFE and MAID, sufferingfrom
Female Weulcnt-<. Nervous Debility and other ail
ments, Will find it the only cure.
To one and all we say that the Shield gives a nat-
DRUGGING THE STOMACH.
lVarriHited One Year, and tb© b<?*t
appliance made.
Illustrated Pamphlet, THREE TYPES OF MEN,
also Pamphlet for Ladies only, sent on receipt of
6c, sealed; unsealed, FREE.
American Galvanic Cos.,
nprifirc*- 134 .Hadl.on St., Chicago,
Ur Mlltdi 1103 Chestnut M., Plilla.
The New Orleans Gazette lias made
discovery that is applicable to some
cities in Texas. It says that in New
Orleans there are two kinds of aldermen.
Some aldermen are not as stupid as they
look, while the rest do not look as stupid
as they really are. The latter class are
in the m -jori'y, however.
••Yes,” he said. “I prefer to hare
black sand given me instead of pepper
by my grocer. It doesn’t burt my eyes
so much when my wife gets mud.”—
Bouton Post
Xiieiie is too much brass on the full
naval uniform. With no navy to speak
of. its officers should look modest.
A fa::.! to your servants as you
would wish otlicn to tie it voq wtro
€!)c 3'nmiiimiillc Cyclic.
VOL. X.
A HEARTACHE,
Anon December’s withering winds shall sweep
Across the sodded ridges of those fields,
Where lie tko dead in trenches damp and deep,
Until Eternity its secrets yields.
My heart is fretted by the varying tinge
1 Of forest leaves, on autumn's gala days,
And ’waking grief on Momojyw.ilhinge
l To open wide the doors of sad Auiazo.
, Scarce thirteen years have dragged their
length along
The murky aisles of grim, remorseless Time,
Since she, whose voico was sweet as seraph’s
song,
; Went from our arms to where the angels
chime.
A winsome child on win ra we set great store
Of love and promise, fading in an hour,
Drooped from the tree, which blossomed never
more
With such a fair aud fascinating flower.
Ah, Edith darling, car it be that thy
Poor earthly faflier murmurs at the stroke,
Thy kinder Father gave when love asked why
Its idol at life’s font so quickly broke?
.My cherished one, thy face and form are bore,
Set in the mirror ot a busy brain,
To me it always doth the. same appear—
A beauteous vision that can never wane.
11. Clay Tdkens.
HOW PEOPLE HIDE MONEY.
A DETECTIVES REMINISCENCES.
“I liave Im'oii sent fur very often in
my time," sai.l an elderly detective, “to
search for money eonceuled hy eccentric
people. There was more of this hiding
away of cash forty years ago than there
is now, owing probably to the doubtful
character of some of the old savings
banks. Still there is moro of it now
than most people suppose, and whenever
a bank breaks the teapots and old stock
ings come into use again. Then, too,
there are persons who have a delight in
concealing money in such a way that
they can get a sight at it now aud then,
or at the place in which it is concealed.
“What is my method of searoh?
Well, I can hardly say; in detective
work set methods are only too apt to de
feat the ends for which they are put in
operation. Our proceedings depend
wholly upon circumstances. The char
acter, habits, and surroundings of the
concealer have to be considered. A
knowledge of human nature and an apt
itude for perceiving ttie significance of
certain clasaimi oI f.otu oi-o >. i 1111J
needful.
“For instance I was one ? rent for to
find the money of a man over in New
.Jersey who had died suddenly, and left
no visible trace of his wealth. The
family had made a careful, systematic
-.■arch before I arrived. I learned Hint
lie was not miserly, aud inferred that he
had not used any of those complicated
methods of concealment which are one
of the misers chief characteristics. I
found that his business took him fre
quently from home, and that he had for
merly been a sailor. I asked what room
!.e usually slept in, and they said, ‘all
over the house,’ adding that they had
fully examined every place in which he
had ever been known to be. I asked
about his clothing.
“ ‘Oh, the oldest possible kind,’ said
his wife. ‘We couldn't get him to wear
anything decent.’
“ ‘May I see it ?’
“ ‘Why, we have been all through it
with knitting needles, aud my girls ripped
ii]i the Jini ;gs everywhere, but we found
nothing, aud gave the old things away.’
“I insisted, of course, upon seeing the
clothes. You see, sir, I rousoned in this
way: The man was Dot a miser, and
therefore had used no extraordinary
means of concealment; and he constant
ly made short journeys from home, so I
judged that he carried his money upon
In's person. You may set down as a gen
eral rule that most men who conceal
money like to have it as near them as
possible. The fact that he did not de
sire to sleep in any particular room
showed that the money was not hidden
in a room. It was either in his clothing
or buried in the cellar, a favorite place
for hiding money. But he had been a
sailor. Now, it is characteristic of a
sailor not to conceal m oney on shipboard:
the risks from lire and water are too
great. This foeling would he likely tc
continue after he had settled down
ashore. Then, too, a sailor is iu the
habit of carrying his pay with him. So,
you see, there were good reasons for my
guess. Well, someone brought the
clothes in at last, and very shabby-look
ing they were. I went over them with
out success until my eye caught the
binding. ‘He always kept them well
bound,’ said his wife; ‘sailors are good
sewers.’ The binding was wide, but we
soon had it off, and there we found,
folded lengthwise and protected with
oiled silk, four 81,000 bonds. A syste
matic search is often not as good as a
shrewd guess by an experienced person.
“Yes, there are men who conceal
wealth away from their homes. Crimi
nals almost always do it. Middle-aged
countrymen will do it, but when they
get old they are almost sure to hide it
near the spot where they pass most of
their time.
“Some iifteen years ago I went up to
a farm house in Orange county, at the
request of the heirs, to lock for money.
The deceased had had no striking char
acteristics fox my purpose, and, after try
ing several lines of search for three
days, I grew doubtful. His riding sad
dle had been ripped open, his bootheels
knocked off for diamonds, his soles split
op ad up pulled to pieces,
SUMMERVILLE GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 17, 1883.
Bricks had been taken out, the hearth
torn up, and the waluscoutings pulled
down. Even tho backboards of picture
frames had been taken out, ntid the
boys had dug around the roots of eve y
tree in the orohasd, hut still no money
had been found. The reward was too
large to he lost, but I was nearly at my
wits’ end. Finally, I asked for a horse
and wagon. I wanted to drive about a
bit and settle my mind. As I rode off,
the brother of the deceased said, ‘You'll
find the farm well laid off, he surveyed
it himself.’
“Thoso words kept coming to my
mind. The man hadn’t concealed the
money in the house, that was evident;
nor in tho ham, for ho seldom went there.
Why should he use the roots of trees or
stones, if ho knew how to survey ? The
thought came like a flash.
“ ‘Whore was the oldjgentloman iu the
habit of sitting ?’ I askod.
“ ‘Oh, lie almost always sat by
that window,’ said tho brother, ‘but
we’ve pulled everything to pieces around
there.
“ ‘Sit down just as ho did.’ Tho man
sat down.
“ ‘ln which direction was he most apt
to look?’
“ ‘Nowhere in particular; out of tlio
window generally.’
“ ‘Toward the barn ?'
“‘No, this way.’ .
“I followed the look; it was in the line
of an old, used-up pump.
“ 'Which way did he walk when he
went out to the field ?’
“ ‘Over to the pump, and then made a
bee line for the pond!’
"Those answers had a certain signifi
cance. Men like to have the place of
concealment in sight, nnd it is well
known that they will often walk over
money they have buried to see that the
sod is undisturbed. I had tho pump
taken up and the excavations made—no
money. Tho pump wns replaced. 1
entered tho room once rnoro and stood
by the window. Suddenly I saw a
faint but peculiar-looking mark on the
sill; it was n surveyor s point. I ‘lined’
it up to the pump, measured out tc the
exact centre of the line, and the digging
began. A two-inch steam pipe was
struck at a depth of four feq,t. The end
was plugged; I took home a $. r ,(IO bill
that night.
"I had a curious case two years ago.
A MtaiUby mini bad been attacked with
partial paralysis, and his speech and
the greater part of his memory had left
him. Ho wrote out tho question
‘Where did I put my money?’ The
amount wag large, $32,000 in bonds,
which he had been about to take to a
safe deposit building. The heirs were
wild. I stopped all the tearing up and
cushion-picking business, for tho man
was not a concealer, though it was sup
posed by the doctors that ho had felt the
attack coming on and had put the money
in some out-of-the-way place. Just how
or in what spot in his library he had
fallen, could not be made out. After a
day's reflection my partner and I had
to conclude that he had been robbed.
Two courses wero open to us; wo could
make sudden arrests without any real
evidence, always a hateful course for n
good detective to take, or we muHt find
ihe exact spot where the man fell and
line’ up from that. Tho doctors helped
us here: ‘You had better examine the
gentleman’s body,’they said. We did
so, and found a long horizontal mark on
the hip, and blue marks on the knee and
elbow. He had fallen sidewise over an
object not over sixteen inches high, and
having a narrow, rounded edge of metal,
for an iron mark was found on the cloth
ing. Every piece of furniture in the
house was inspected, but to no purpose.
The heirs apparent were in despair. Bui
my partner and I began to be hopeful.
“In detective work, whenever Yon
come upon some detail that seems ut
terly inexplicable, that is the thing
which of all others must be explained;
and you feel, moreove.r, that in solving
the difficulty you will come nearer in
some unknown way to yonr point. We
took all night to think the matter over.
Then my partner said, ‘How about the
cellar ? That’s whero tho household
metal is.’ They all laughed. ‘He
hasn’t been there in a year,’ they said.
We went down. My partner glanced
quickly around, and then gave me a look
that I can almost feel running through
my nerves to this day. Ho had dis
covered some common household arti
cles which had not been used since the
family had been searching the fireplaces.
He was, in fact, looking over a lot of
coal hods. ‘There is our metallic edge,
he said. He turned the hods over care
fully, and from out a mass of waste papei
there rolled at last the thirty-two thou
sand dollars’ worth of bonds. The para
lytic had fallen over the hod, and the
money had dropped into it among his
waste papers. Before the general
search was made, all ‘rubbish’ had
been taken to the cellar. Our friends
had sought too deeply for what they had
supposed to bo concealed money, and
had grossly neglected the science of the
ibvious. Some detectives do precisely
the same thing. My partner and I di
vided the five thousand dollars tsetween
us that night.
‘ ‘Yes, they hide money in queer enough
places. I have found it in the covers of
old family Bibles, behind mirrors, in the
bored-out legs of chairs, behind onp
boards nailed tightly to the walls, in
alse ceilings, balusters, pin-oushions, in
&e tisififjj o! eld bite, lo olocjsa,
anil bronze images, in vasoß with the
bottoms covered inside with plaster of
Paris, in black bottles weighted with
mercury and marked poison, in canes,
shoes, aud vest linings, In tomato cam
and ten canisters, iti cracked Walls cov
ered with wall paper, in all sorts of bed
ding and upholstery, and in almost every
conceivable place.
“What is tho best way to conceal
money? I oan’t. say; but I will tell you
about a man whose method was a good
deal talked about at tho time among tho
detectives. Ho was a bachelor, and well
known ns a ‘concealer,’ lie died of heart
disease, iu Broome street., some years
ago. Many attempts had been made to
rob him, but without success. Thieves
ran off one night with ail his clothing,
and ripped it to pieces, only to bo disap
pointed. When he died, everything was
broken up to find his money. The cellar
had been dug out to the extent of three
feet, the roof broken apart, and tho eaves
examined to no purpose. When they
were clearing ont tho rubbish, just after
I arrived, someone knocked down a
rickety shelf above tho mantelpiece,
which wns covered with old let ters, mod
ioine phials, dusty newspaper scraps
and other worthless rubbish. A quarto
of an hour lator one of tho heirs, a gir
of six years, was found seated on the
floor in a pile of hank notes, to which
she had vainly attempted to call her
mother’s attention on account of their
pretty pictures.
“That ‘concealer’ was the only really
deep one I ever knew. The lady paid n
high complimont to the gentleman’s
acuteness when she remarked: ‘Why, no
one would ever have thought of looking
up there for money.’ ”
SOLDIERS’ HARD-TACK.
A RBIMININCENCE OK TIIK I.ATK Will.
ftninrlliln* About Ihr Crnrkrrn tlio Nolillrr
llo.in Killed their IlnverMnekM with.
As I write, there lies before mo on my
table an innocent-looking cracker, which
I have faithfully preserved for years. It
is about tho size ami has tho appearance
of an ordinary soda biscuit If yon take
it in your hand you will find it somewhat
heavier than an ordinary biscuit, and if
you bite it—but, no; I will not let you
bite it, for I wish to soo how long I can
keep it. But if yon were to reduce it to
a fine powder, you would find that it
would absorb a greater quantity of water
than an equal quantity of ordinary flour.
Yon would also observe that it is very
hard. This you may, perhaps, think is
to he attributed to its great ago. But if
yon imagine that its age is to be meas
ured only by tho years which have
elapsed since the war, you aro greatly
mistaken; for tliero was a common belief
among the boys that our hard-tack had
been baked long before tho commence
ment of tho Christian era 1 This opinion
wns based upon the fact that the letters
B. C. were stamped on many, if not, in
deed, all of the cracker boxes. To bo
sure, there were some skeptics who shook
their heads, and maintained that these
mysterious letters were the initials of the
name of some army contractor or in
spector of supplies, lint the belief was
wide-spread and deop-seated that they
were certainly intended to Bet forth the
era in which our bread had been linked.
For our hard tack wero vejjy hard. It
was difficult to break them with tho
teeth. Some of them you could not
fracture with your fist. Still, there was
an immense amount of nourishment in
them—when once yon had learned how
to get at it. It required some experience
and no little hunger to enable one to ap
preciate hard-tack aright, and it de
manded no small amount of inventive
power to understand how to cook hard
tack as they ought to bo cooked. If 1
remember correctly, in our section of the
army we had not less than fifteen differ
ent ways of preparing them. In other
parts, 1 understand, they had discovered
one or two more ways; lmt with us, fif
teen was the limit of tho culinary urt
when hard-tack was on board.
On the march they wore usually not
cooked at all, but eaten in a raw state.
In order, however, to make them some
wliat more palatable, you simply cut
down a slice of nice fat pork, laid the
pork on your cracker, put a spoonful of
brown sugar on top of the pork, and you
had a dish fit for a—soldier. Of course,
the pork had just come out of the pickle
and was consequently raw. When we
halted for coffee, we sometimes had fric
asseed hard-tack—prepared by toasting
them before hot coals. When, as was
generally the case on a march, our hard
tack had been broken into small pieces
in out haversacks, wo soaked these in
water and fried them in pork fat, stirring
well, and seasoning with salt and sut
ler’s pepper, thus making what was com
monly known as a “hishy-hashy,” or a
“hot-fired stew.”
Thus you see what vast and unsus
pected possibilities reside in this inno
cent thrce-and-a-half inch square hard
tack lying here on my table bofore me.
Three like this specimen made a meal,
and nine were a ration; and this is what
fought the battles for the Union.— St.
Nicholas for September.
A Sensation.— A sensation has been
caused in Baxter street, New York, by
the clandestine marriage of a Christian
resident of that street wjtb the daughter
The Women of the South.
It was tho Honthei* women more than
the provost marshals who checked de
sertion and make tho offence odious.
Tho Confederate who left the front
without leavo found no Welcome outside
of his own family. Ho who canto homo
by authority, and With a wound to at
test his bravery in action, was a hero
until duty compelled his return.
No man over saw a night so wild that
a Southern woman would not faoo it to
carry news to Confederate soldiers.
Every woman was a scout and a spy. If
the mother could not go tho daughter
was sent. If there was no daughter a
dispatch or messago was hurried off hy a
negro or a signal was made. Tlioy came
to aoourately estimate the strength of
marching columns, to identify one make
of gun from another in the batteries,
and where scents and spies could not go
the women could. It was the women
who saved Meshy again aud again. It
was a woman who told General Jackson
the exact strength of the Federal foreo
at Front Royal before he fell upon it in
carrying out his valley campaign. It
was a woman who told Early just how
Sheridan’s army was distributed at Ci dar
Creek, and there was scarcely a battle on
Virginia’s soil with which women hail
not something to do as tho bearers of
information. Onco enlisted in the cause
they did not know what despair was.
They sent their bedding to tho hospitals,
their provisions to tho army, and their
jewelry to a buyer of Confederate arms
■in Europe. When the Confederate
Government could not furnish rations
tho Confederate women did.
I have asked hundreds of Confederate
soldiers how they made a start lifter the
war, and in nearly evory instance the
answer began with:
“Well, my wife, you know—”
His wife had boon tho power to braco
him up for the now start in life. The
homo was in ashes, tho farm grown up
to briers aud tho country overrun with
outlaws, but the wife’s words of hope
and encouragement sot the returned
soldier to work. With any other class
of women the South would have built
up by tho inch instead of the foot. As
they were enthusiasts in war, so also are
they heroines in pence. In the real
Southern woman’s heart there is no
hatred of Northerns. There is not even
distrust or suspicion. Iu her parlor
may hang portraits through which
Sheridan’s men thrust bayonets, but her
pleasantest letters are mailed to and re
ceived from friends in the North. Tho
war us a war is buried and forgotten, or
if hitter memories force themselves to
the surface there is no heartburning (or
vengeance.— M. Quad.
(iaiuhiling Italian Laborers.
For about six months past two hun
dred and fifty Italian laborers havo been
quartered at Richmond, Staten Island,
and, according to one of the contractors
employing them, tlioy are the most in
veterate gamblers to be found anywhere.
Their quarters, he says, are always
lighted up at night, and they get terri
bly excited over their game. The game
is thus described: “They take a large
number of sticks, like the common
butcher’s skewers, and cut these off to
different lengths. A gamekeeper is ap
pointed, who drives tho stakes into holes
drilled for tho purpose in tho floor, if
they are in the house, or else in the
ground, if they havo tho game out of
doors. A level piece of board is used to
press them down and to make the tops
of the sticks appear even. While tho
sticks are being arranged the players are
not permitted to look on, but devote the
interval to making up their pools in
which each one puts an even amount—
generally a five-cent piece, but often
more.
They seldom risk moro than a quar
ter apiece, and only that amount after
pay day. It is very seldom that less
than ten play, and sometimes a hundred
of them are at it together. Tho excite
ment consists in comparing tho sticks to
see who lias the longest one. When the
stakes are as high as $5, tho chattering
tho players make over tho final decision
is terrific. The gamekeeper settles the
dispute by setting the two longest sticks
down side by side while the competitors
hold them, and placing his board on tho
points. There does not seem to bo any
chance for cheating, unless the game
keeper should give a friend the tip as to
where the longest stick might be. But
they are so intensely in earnest that it
would seem to be too dangerous a thing
for him to do so. The game looks to be
absolutely ‘square.’”
I eer i inkers.
It appears that the Germans nro not
Ihe largest consumers of beer and othei
malt liquors, as has generally been sup
posed. Tho Chemical Ileview figures
>mt that tho production of beer in the
German empire amounts to 92 quarts
per capita, but a large proportion of this
peer is exported. In Austria tho amount
is 34 quarts per inhabitant. In Great
Britain 116 quarts of very strong beer is
Ihe ratio. In the United States tho beer
per inhabitant is 40 quarts. The con
sumption of malt liquors is increasing
faster here than in any other country.
The consumption, however, is chiefly
limited to the Northern States. South
<.f the Ohio River there brew
eiiea,
TIIE LABOR QUESTION.
INVH*THJATION lIEFOKK Till? UNITED
STATUS NKNATIS UOJIiHITTMC.
Soiho I Ilf ef cat In* SlniMlm 44lven by l*rnr
lieu I Nlrn.
Hiolmrd Rowers, of Chicago, General
Superintendent of tho Seaman’s Union
of the Lakes, Was a witness before the
United States Senate Committee on Ed
ucation and Labor. He testified that
seventy-fife per cent, of tlio sailora on
the lakes were members of Iho organiza
tion. There aro about son eh thousand
members handed together to ameliorate
their condition, to shorten tho hours of
labor, and to inoreaso their wages. They
have improved under tho operation of
tho society so that they are no longer
run by the rum shop. They wont the
Government to supply some place of
refugo like Sailor’s Snug Harbor for dis
abled sailors. Ono abuse that should
be corrected is tho overloading of ves
sels, which makes voyages dangerous to
the lives of seamen. The sanitary con
dition of tho vessels also calls for re
form. The custom on tho throe thou
sand-ton steamers is to carry six men.
Many accidents occur because vessels
are skorthandod. Tho owners depond
moro upon their machinery than they
do on God. Probably- the Vcsbcls aro
well insured. If tho machinery breaks
tho ships havo not sailors enough to save
them. It is the same with passenger and
freight vessels. Before the organiza
tion the wages wero a dollar a day.
As to wages now tho witness said:
“We get a day now. In a short
time we will got 52.50, and for a iew days
at the end of tho season, 54 a day.
Somo vessels wo would not go on for
less than ton dollars a day, because they
aro not seaworthy. Wo raiso tho wages
by refusing to work with thoso who do
not belong to our organization. Tho
mates, cooks, and captains need not be
long to tlio society. What wo want is a
Piimsoll to look after tho rotten vessels,
and prevent their being used when they
are unsafe.”
Of the seven thousand members of the
society, tho witness said, not five had
saved ono thousand dollars ; about ten
had saved fivo hundred dollars, ten had
saved four hundred dollars, ten had
saved threo hundred dollars, and about
fifteen hundred had saved one hundred
dollars each. In 1878 not a man had
saved one thousand dollars, and not two
men had saved one hundred dollars,
two-thirds of tho men are American
citizens.
George G. Block, representing the
journeymen linkers, told the committee
that the bakers began work at 2 p. m.,
and work along up to various hours in
the morning, sometimes as late as 9 a. m.
of the following day. Most of them are
unmarried, because they cannot afford
to get married. Much of their money
goes for beer. Statistics obtained from
505 bakers showed that only 180 were
married. Their wages average 58.20 a
week. This is often paid partly in board
at St a week. They work in a very hot
atmosphere for long hours; few have
decent sleeping rooms. Mr. Block told
the committee that there are 2,300 men
employed in the brewing business, who
work long and irregular hours, like the
bakers, at wages ranging from 530 to
5100 a month. Only a few get tho larger
wages. They formed a union of 2,000
members. They were brutally treated,
and the foreman or boss made them vote
to please himself.
Adolph Strassar, President of the Cigar
Makers’lnternational Union, gave to the
committee an account of that organiza
tion, which, he said, is protective, benev
olent, educational and moral in its pur
pose. Last year it paid 516,643.79 in
sick benefits. Workmen traveling from
place to place in search of work have
their traveling expenses paid, which in
cludes actucl fares and 50 cents for a
meal in each place. For this purpose 519,-
722.00 was paid last year. They have
had a trado journal eight years. The
wages in one union averaged 55 a week
for each workman; in 44 unions the wages
wero 510 a week, iu two unions the aver
age was 516 a week, and in 100 unions
from which statistics were obtained the
wages varied from 55 to 515 a week. The
cost of supporting a family of fivo was
variously reported to be from 56 a week
to 515 a week. In most cases the so
cieties reported that the workers did not
earn enough to support them decently.
The hours of labor vary from 48 to 60
per week; without tho organization the
hours of labor are from 86 to 90 per
week. In the last eighteen years there
havo been 863 strikes of cigar makers,
of which 137 have failed and 204 have
been successful. Tho cost of these
strikes havo been 5280,444, but they
have added 51,800,000 a year to the
wages of the strikers, and have prevented
reductions estimated at 5500,000. There
are 5,550 persons employed in tenement
houses, making cigars in 1,920 families.
There are 80,000 coolies employed mak
ing cigars in San Francisco. There are
185 branches of tho International Union.
They have managed to equalize wages in
the State of New York.
The Charleston (S. C.) News says
that Gov. Thompson and Lieut.-Oov,
Sheppard, with a number of gentlemen,
went down to tho bar and to the jetties
on Tuesday, but the News does not say
what tho Governor Carolina
swU o that oooa^ivg,
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WIIAT W 1 KIND IN THEM TO SHU!-*
OVUM THIN WEEK.
RAII.nOAD ECONOMY.
“Nothing is wasted on onr road,” ex
plained a railroad president, who was
under examination the othor day as to
the condition of his lino. “There Is not
a concern in the country that utilizes
everything ns wo do.”
"Do you put everything to some use ?”
inquired an incredulous lawyer.
"Wo fail in nothing,” replied the pres
ident. “You can’t name a thing that we
do not derive somo benefit from.”
“Ever lmd a wnsli-out?” askod the
lawyer, sarc.Hiticnlly.
*'W have.”
"To wind imio did yo"U put that?”
"Wo watered tho stock with it 1” and
tho witness was allowed to depart iu tri
umph.— Traveler's Magazine.
EVIDENCE ENOUGH.
A New York broker, who left tho
street three or lour years ago, ono day
received a call from a man up tho river,
who announced Hint old Rlauk was dead.
"Old Blank. Yes, I romomber him;
so he is dead ?”
"Yes, nml liis heirs are trying to break
the will."
“They aro ?”
“Yes, and they are going to have it ho
was crazy. They want you as a witness.”
‘ ‘ Wan tmo ? Why, I know nothing of
the old man, except that I onoe invested
510,000 for him."
"Well, that’s all they expect to provo
bv you. ”
' “What, oh I”
“Why, if you’ll come into oourt nnd
swear that tlio old man let you havo
510,000 to invest for him the case is
made out. When can you eomo ?”
Ho never went. — Wall Street News.
THAT LITTLE SECOND.
“Little children should never get
angry ?” said Grandpa Rinks to the little
second-story Binks. "Little children
should always think twice before saying
naughty words 1”
There was a bad boy in tho Binkß
household and he had found an old razor
that looked like a saw. Ho put it in
grandpa’s box.
Grandpa wns going out that afternoon
aid ho had to shave.
Re got tho lather all nice and ready,
put a towel under his chin aud pulled
Ihe razor from the box.
“Remember what I told you this morn
ing I” lie said as the children iu answer
to a wink from the bad boy began to
quarrel; “always think twice before you,
u--,-- mar i— i Y & * war
_ & ! 1 ~ Ufa)’" t 1 & ! * I
*!-t 1 J ’ A
And then, as Grandpa Biliks looked
at the had boy, he took another look at
I lie razor and remarked that, ho guessed
he'd go out and see if it looked like
rain.”
A SLAUOITTEII HOUSE.
NO. 39.
Li warning the veterans of the late
war against exaggerating what they did
; n 1 saw in it, ex-Qovernor Curtin at a
Washington banquet related tho follow
ing anecdote of a revolutionary veteran,
who, having outlived nearly all his com
rades, and being in no danger of contra
diction, rehearsed his experience tlius
wise: “In that fearful day at Monmouth,
although entitled to a horse, I fought on
foot. With each blow I severed an
Englishman's head from his body, until
a huge pile of heads lay around me,
great pools of blood on either and
my shoes wero so full of the same dread
ful fluid that my feet slipped beneath
me. Just then I felt a touch upon my
shoulder, and, looking up, who should I
behold but the groat and good Washing
ton himself 1 Never shall I forget the
majesty and dignity of his presence, as,
pressing his hand upon me, he said: ‘My
young friend, restrain yourself, and for
h avon’s sake do not make a slaughter
house of yourself.’ ” The shouts of
laughter that greeted this story showed
ihat tho Governor had made a point.—
Detroit Free Press.
THE EDITOIt'S TROWBEM.
An editor in Chicago recently ordered
i pair of trowsers from tho tailor. On
! rying them on they proved to bo several
niches too long. It being late on Satur
day night, tho tailor’s shop was closed,
and the editor took tho trowsors to his
wife and asked her to ent them off and
liem them over. The good lady, whose
dinner had, perhaps, disagreed with her,
brusquely refused. The same result
followed an application to the wife’s
sister and the eldest daughter. But be
fore bedtime tho wife, relenting, took
I lie pants and, cutting off six inches from
the legs, hemmed them up nicely and
restored them the closet. Half an hour
later her daughter, taken with compunc
tion for tho unfilial conduct, took the
trowsers and, cutting off six inches,
hemmed and replaced them. Finally,
the sister-in-law felt tho pangs of con
science, and she too performed an ad
ditional surgical operation on the gar
ment. When the editor appeared at
breakfast on Sunday the family thought
a Highland chieftan had arrived, —The
t 'entury.
k Long March.
When the clerks employed in the Pen*
sion Bureau at Washington went to
I Ibeir work on a recent morning, they
' found on tho steps a man, his wife, and
I their three Children. Parents and chil
dren were in rags and covered with dust.
The man said that he had been' a private
in the First Infantry, stationed at Fort
Scott; that he was discharged some two
years ago and had filed a claim for a
I pension, but was not satisfied with tho
1 proceedings of his lawyer; and that he,
' with his wife and children, had come on
! foot from the Black Hills in the hope di
| getting the money which he believed
1 was due him. Tho Acting Commissioner
promised to learn as quickly as possible
whether the man was entitled to a pen
sion. He said that he had known of
men walking from places in Oregon and
I other points as remote, to learn that they
11 lad1 ad been deceived and that they had Uf