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POO Post-Officeorders from nil portions of tte country will m*<*uro a supply o< BONK Or HIE, the only safo. quick. nn<l positive cure for acuto ami chronic Gonorrlina ami < Jleet ever u*ed. Cures eilboteU under the days, requiring: no internal remedies, no change of diet, or loss of time. Its action destroys and antagonizes every atom of venereal poison with which it comes in con tart, and Is harmless to healthy parts POO A Post-Office onlor forW.OO will buy three bottle* of B< >N KtK’IN E, the only harmless vegetable compound ever ofl'ered w hieh positively cures and pro vents the contagion of ai’v and all vo nereftl dUea.***. The constant, persevering and uni versal use of this revodv would effect ually wipe out all venereal diseases from the face of the earth. G. and 0, can neither l*e contracted nor exist when it is used, because it destroys by mere contact It allays all pain, sub due- the inflaiumatiou ao<l promote* quiet pop A well known railroader writes as follows; Atlanta, Ftr'y 24. ISBB. Bonkocinero.:—•' Early in January I commenced the use of BONKOCINE for a l*ed case of G. which had baffled the skill and medicines of five physi cians,and three bottle* cured me sound and well. I lost no time, used no other remedy nnd d*d not change jny diet It is a blessing to those w hose paths are not bright.” Discard all capsules, cojmbia, etc.,and use Dial which never fails, and will keep you cured for life by acting as a preventive. One bottle SI- r A or three for SI.OO, Pold by druggists. Expressed oil re ceipt of price. GO., 7b34 \\ hitehall .Street, Atlanta. Ga. J. S CLFUHORN & CO. pjpij hew Home c wiing'-v. •• pSpi? q) **s NO Eo uAt NEW HO^hThACHINEC 1 J 30 UNION SQUARE NEWYORK 0 wO-A Hj. ill. muss GA. FOR SALE BY I AMR& CAIN, SUMMERVILLE, (! A. Nerve-Life and Vigor - RESTORED.- This cut show's the ~ fjfcMßgi Howard Electric §5 Mneiietie Shield as applied over the Kid /■ neyaancl Bierro-vltal fM tenters. Tne only up pllance mad** that vvery part of “ ih, the body, and the A m mm w \ only one needed tc M \ IP fiy k S POSITIVELY CU K E 1 I 4E, I 1 htdiiejlMbeakt Si , ur J Il> e u mutlnm, R OF THE / In ~,epii. .a ft _ g-mt 9 the worst cubes i luDrillS! I ikmlUßl Weak ai|An*gi 9m?, kxiiuu* qf**-n 1 9 Uou. lntpoten @Kk h owaWc>, fm l 1 <)* and all III* f ****• and Weak \l J iiewßofthellrliio % WBjrn \K > bt-ultalOrgaiia (Patented Feb. 5'., IWU.] "■ YOUNG MEN, from early indiscretion, lack nerve force and fail to attain strength. MIDDLE AGED MEN often lack vigor, attribut ing it to the progress of years. The MOTHER. WIFE and MAID, suffering from Female Weakness, Nervous Debility and other ail ments, will find it the only cure. To one and all we say that the Shield give* a nat ural aid in a naturul way WITHOUT DRUGGING THE STOMACH. %Varrnted One Year, and the t>e appliance made. Illustrated Pamphlet, THREE TYPES OF MEN, also Pamphlet for Ladies only, sent on receipt 01 6t, sealed; unsealed, FREE. American Galvanic Cos., nrflAfCi I*4 Jliullmd St., Chicago, UffllltwlllM Chestnut St., Phil,. Seal. —The large advance in the price of sealskins lately reported from the London market was explained by the aunonneement that the catch of seals this year Dad been very small. The San Francisco ChJ-onvde denies that this is the fact, and asserts that the Alaska Company, which is permitted under its lease from the government to kill 100,- 000 seals annually, has killed more than 90.000 this year. There is no use for money equal to that of beneficence ; here the enjoyment grows on reflection, and our money is most truly ours when it ceases to be itl pnr possession. % (Dinette. VOL. X. A CROSS THE PLAINS. The plains wore wide and vast and drear, The mountain peak** seemed cool and near, The sun hung low toward the west, 130 aea*’,” we sighed, “arc we to rest.” But journeying through the closing day, Our feet are weary of the way; Far, far liefore our aching sight The plains lie in the waning light. The mountain peaks that seemed so near And held our rest forever there, Are far across the desert lands. We vainly cry with lifted hands : Oh hills, that stand against the sky, We may not reach you ere we die; Our hearts are broken with the pain, For rest and peace we may not gain. Upon the plains we faint and fall, Our faces toward the mountains tall; Our palms are clasped, but uot to pray; So die we with the dying day. HORRORS OF DRUNKENNESS •OMR OF THE PHENOMENA OF AJLCOHOL IZED BRAINS Wo were four. We sat talking in the lobby of a Denver hotel. It waa 11 p. m. The talk was languishing, when the wide doors opening to the street were thrown apart violently, and a tall, heav ily built man walked in. His soft hat waa tilted backward on his head. His step wns uncertain, lie was drunk. We recognized him as Dalton, a miner from the Snowy Range. Seeing the group sitting around a table, he come toward ns, and with a drunken smile, •aid, “ Howda, boys?” Then, before we could greet him, he turned away, saying carelessly, “It is eat night for me. 1 may as well go see the creature.” Fil tering the elevator, he disapjieared. Wondering what Dalton meant by “ cat nigbt,” I asked ono of my com panions the meaning of the phrase. He replied. “ A phantom cat come* to Dal ton during the night following his third day of hard drinking. It is a warning to him to put on the brakes.” " Tell me of it.” I said. Complying, he said: “Dalton sprees. He drinks at long intervals, and never in moderation. When the wild desire for alcohol assails him, resistance is seemingly impossible. He turns his mines over to his foreman and come* to Denver. He drinks excessively the first dsy, still more the second, and he turns himself loose on the third. He is a heavy and very powerful man, and can drink an enormous quantity of w liiskey before succumbing to it. I have known him to drink forty glasses of liquor in ono day, six of them before breakfast. By the end of the third day Dalton is very nervous. Soon after ho falls into his first drunken sleep on the third night he always dreams that ho comes into his room ; that a noise, sh though some thing scratching on the carpet under his lied, attracts his attention ; that looking under the lied, he sees a large yellow tomcat, with a bristling tail as big as a rolling pin. The cait is tearing the car pet with its sharp claws. Indifferent to eats, or dogs, or any animal that walks on earth, he undresses and gets into bed. Instantly he is smitten with paralysis, lie cannot move. His brain works without friction and is wonderfully clear. His vision is penetrative. He can see through the bed, and sees the cat on the floor in the corner. His clear sight pierces through the disguise of the crea ture and he realizes that it is an eye-de stroying, flesh-eating devil. He knows that the fiend will come out from under the bed and jump upon the footboard. Standing there with arched back and swelling tail, the creature will utter frigtitfuljjcries prepartory to leaping, with distended claws, on his face and tearing out his eyes. Dalton becomes afraid of the cat. He tries to call for help. He strives to move. His efforts are vain. The cat leaps to tlio footboard, and glares at him with distended fiery eyes. A train he struggles to throw off the par alysis. He cannot move. The cat, with a horrid cry, Bprings on his up turned face. Under the spur of this su preme horror he rallies, and, with an exhaustive effort he awakens. He is un nerved. He trembles like a timid woman. His heart beats quickly. It takes three or foor days of perfect rest and solitude to restore his nervous system. He drinks no more for months.” “Does he know, while suffering from this alcoholic nightmare that it is a nightmare ?” "Yes,” my companion answered, “he knows it. But he also knows that if he Joes not awaken, and so prevent the yel low tomcat from getting in his work the at will kill him. He is in deadly fear of this cat, though he knows it is but an alcoholic phantom. And underneath his dread of the cat lies the fear of death resulting from alcoholism. The cat is only a faint shadow cast by the approaching jimjams, that stalk spectre like in the vestibule of his brain.” “The warnings some drinking men re ceive are very strange,” said the oldest of our party. “I know several men who are spreers, who have warnings, gener ally visions more or less horrible, but in variably the same, when they approach the wall behind which the jimjams lurk. Probably the most striking case is tha. of a gentleman who inherited his dis eased craving for alcohol. He will not drink, it may be, for a year. Then he will pat his business into such a shape that he can leave it for a few days and deliberately get drunk. For two days he devotes his energies to getting drunk and staying drunk. He is not of the least trouble to any one when he is SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY EVENING, JANUARY 9, 1884. drinking. He ahuts himself up in his room, and drinks alone. In two days ho will drink a gallon of tho best sonr masli Bourbon whisky money can buy. He always begins drinking in the evening. Tho third evening he goes to bed in a beastly state of intoxioation. At about midnight his vision oomes to him. He dreams that he went to bed, and slept soundly until awakened by a hard, white, flickering light. He lies awoke wondering what causes tho light, and hears a loud knock on his bedroom door. - Come in 1’ he orie*. The door is thrown wide open and a man who has been freshly flayed stalks in. The flayed man smiles in a ghastly maimer, and nods in friendly recognition. The flesh is gone from iiis mouth. His teeth grin mockingly. He stations himself opposite the bed and leans against the wall, his shoulders making a bloody mark where he leans. His lidless eyes roll and his tongue lolls. The bedroom door remains open. My friend looks out of the door and into the street. There he sees a long column of fiayod men marching rapidly down the road. Htrag glers drop out from tho column and en ter his room. When ten men have entered, his bedroom door closes. The flayed men, who are covered with fresh Mood, walk silently around the room looking at him. They point their bloody fingers at him. At a signal from the man who first entered they all march out Presently they return, each carrying a flayod and bloody corpse. The blood has dried on the live men while they were absent, and it flakes from them as they re-enter the room with their ghostly burdens. The corpses sre placed on the floor in a row, side by side. At a signal from the leader of tho skinless horrors, they straddle the dead bodies, and landing over, grasp them around the waists. Then straightening up, with the legs of the dead men between their own, they move around the room in a weird dance, now advancing, now retreating, then circling around the bed, and always leering and grinning at my friend. After desperate efforts ho awakens, and the vision disappears. It is his warning to quit drinking, and he heeds it, too.” Then spoke an ex-Oonfederate artil lery officer : “Moat sprees have visions, all of them horrible, that are nature’s warnings to them to quit drinking. But there is another class of illusions arising from an unwioc use of alcohol, which I suspect arc much more common than is generally known. The men who suffer from these illusions are apt to conceal their troubles, being ashamed to coufidt them to their most intimate friends. I know of two cases that may interest you. They are queer nyinifestations of alcoholic disturbances of the brain.” We gathered closely around the table, aud all of us, as one man, demanded the stories. The ex-Confederate officer said: “Johnson was raised on the Hen Islands. He married shortly before the war. He entered the Army of Vir ginia. His wife, to whom he was de voted, died shortly after he left her. After the surrender Johnson came West. He is a well-educated, courageous gentleman. I will “'ll you of the vision that invariably arises before him if lie drinks at all. I will tell it in the first person, just ns he told it to mo. Im agine that Johnson is talking : ‘When ever I drink. I am haunted by a vision that arises before mo ae soon uh 1 am asleep. It is this : My wife is by my side, her soft hand lovingly slipped in mine. We are walking up an oyster shell path toward our Hea Island home. Entering onr house I realize that it lias been deserted, and an unaccountnble feeling of dread rolls over me iu an iey wave at this discovery. Then my wife speaks, saying, softly, “I am afraid.” Instantly my mind is flooded with the recollection of a dreadful horror that I had not thought of for years. I remem ber that we had abandoned the house because it was haunted. Our experience, as I recall it, was that a spirit walked nightly in the attic, and, after a short walk, descended the stairs. When the door at the foot of the stairway opened before the ghost a column of whitish vapor floated sinuously into the hall ; then, turning to the left, it entered my room and passed out of the window. “ ‘Supplemented to this horror was an other manifestation of rare occurrence and at highly irregular intervals. This was a voice accompanied by footsteps. Sometimes heavy footsteps, at others as if the infirm Bteps of ago were tottering around the house. Again they crept along the inside of the partitions. Then the voice groaned, as if in pain. I knew the voice to be that of a negro of hideons aspect and gigantic size, whom one of my ancestors had scourged to death. That voice threatened tus with direful disasters, and maae the night hideous with its cries. It always came in the gray of the evening, and stayed all night. The recollection of these horrors, that had escaped my memory, terrified me. My wife saw that I was unnerved, and clung closely to me, repeating in trembling tones, “I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid.” I tried to restore her courage, but I could not. I looked at her, and saw that she, too, recollected the dreadful tale. We en deavored to leave the house, but could not. Then we sought refuge in the par lor, and trembling awaited, we knew not what. Suddenly a barbario tune waa beaten on the floor above us, as though pounded out with a war olub. and the voioe spoxo tauntingly, saying "To-night you shall see me.” An irre sistible force drew ns to our bedroom. The column of vapor descended tho stairs and euterod it nnd floated out of the window. Then we sought to escape from tho dreaded voioe by hiding in dark ooruers; but the voioe tauutiugly called us forth. “'Finally, iu despair, we entered the parlor, and there the end came. Forth from the solid wall strode a gigantic naked negro. His flesh was scored ns though with a whip. Blood marked the trail ns he walked He stalked toward us. With an exultant grin ho glared fiercely at ns. Then he slowly stretched ont his baud, as though to grasp my wife’s yellow hair. An overpowering base aud cowardly terror seized me. My only fear was that the black spectre would grasp me instead of my wife. She clung to me with twining arms, murmuring, “Protect mo ! Save mo I” Basely l thrust her from me toward tho outstretobed hand of the gigantic black. She looked at mo loviuglv, not reproach fully, aud with a kind, forgiving smile on her face, foil dead at my feet. With ineffable scorn the negro pointed his horny index linger at me nnd said, “A coward 1 Tho first of his race,” and dis appeared with a crash that always awakened me.’” Tlio ex-Confedi rate ceased talking for an instant while, ho lit a fresh cigar, and then he said: “That is Johnson’s vision. It never varies a particle, nnd he sees it if ho drinks so much ns one glass of whisky. Of course you all un derstand that there is not any ground for the vision. It is, from beginning to end, an alcoholic phantasm. ‘ ‘Then there whs Wallace, ” and tho narrator smiled at his memories. "His was a quoer ease of physical recollec tion of a flight and drunken hiding. Wallace got drunk iu town (I am talking of Northern Alabama), and while drunk got into trouble. Being hard pressed, he drew his pistol nnd killed his oppo nent, who was a worthless creature. The dead man’s friends, also worthless creatures, gathered in an excited crowd. Wallace, partly soberod, realized his danger, and resolved to get out of town if possible. Hiß horse stood in tho shed. Wallace kept the crowd off by pistol shooting, that may have been a littlo indiscriminate, until he was mounted. By this time some of tho dead man’s friends were also mo an ted. Wallace fled nnd was hotly pursued. His plantation was somo eight miles the other sido of tho river. The pursuing horsemen cut him off'from the bridge by riding up a side street, Boeing this he turned his horse and rode down the river hank at full gallop. It was quite dark by this time. After riding about a mile dowu the river hank he spurred his horse into the stream. His horse carried him across safely and clambered up the op posite hank. “Wallace rode into the heavy forest at the full gallop. He remembered no more of that night's experience, Tho next morning ho awoke in a darkened room. He was lying on a rough, dirty floor. Staggering to his feet he felt around his unknown quarters until ho found a hole in the floor. A ladder hod been thrust through this opening and projected a couple of feet above the floor. Ho descended tho ladder and fouqd himsolf in a basement, ono side of which opened on a gulch. It was an abandoned still house. Ho saw tho tracks made by his horse, but tho horse was gone. Ho did not know where he was. It was ten o’clock before he found a road he knew, and noon before ho reached home. His liorso returned homo during tho previous night. Ever after, when Wallace got drunk in that town, he would wake up tlio next morn ing in the dark attic of the deserted still house. He always turned his horse loose and had to walk home. When he left the country and the old associations were broken, ho quit riding around at midnight to hide in dirty attics.” It was growing late. Our party bade one another good night and wandered off to bed. Farnk Wjlkehon. won't do rr. The Hon. John Pearidge Wesley, Sec retary of tho Jones Cross-roads Lyceum, Virginia, informed the Lime-Kiln Club, by letter, that on the oth day of August next his society proposed to open a de bate, free to the world, on the query: “What am de hereafter of animal crea tion?” It was hoped that the Lime- Kiln Club would send at least four of its leading orators to participate in the de bate. “While we am much obleegcd fur de invitashun,” replied the President, “we shan’t let de inquiry worry us a bit. While it am a sad thing to part from a dog which has stood by us fur a dozen y’ars, time spent in wonderin’ whar’ he will bring up am time wasted. I reckon dat sioh of us as git to dat better land won’t be lookin’ aronnd fur hosses, dogs, cows an’ cats. We’ll be busy wid our wings an’ harps, an’ ’tain’t likely dat we could whistle fur a dog if we owned one. De hereafter of man, an’ pertieklerly of members of dis club, am of fur mo’ con sarn to us. ” —Detroit Free, Frees. A Boston paper relates that au old gentleman from the country who visited that city the other day and had never been in a large town before, remarked after making a tour of tho business sec tion : “I don’t like this Boston. There isn't'CnouaU out-of-doors to it,” COLONEL FELTON’S WIFE. TllK ItOIHANTIC' NTORYOF AN Al'At'ilV RAID. Dlnriiew n Brnutlful Hpnnl*li Girl nnd whilf* llnthlng They nre Allnckrd by Indiana —Reroutes Her Avonser -How They Finally Met. Colonel Albert 0. Peltou, whose beautiful 22,000 acre ranclie is out toward the Rio Grande, near Laredo, has been tho Peter tho Hermit of the Texans for years. H ho* believed that ho has held a divine commission to kill Apache Indians. Colonel Pelton came to Texas in 1844, a common soldier. By talent and courage he rose to the rank of colonel, and finally, in 1847, oommanded Fort Macrae. That year he fell in love with a beautiful Spanish girl at Albuquerque, N. H. Her parents were wealthy, and would uot consent to their daughter’s going away from all her friends to live in a garrison. The admiration of the young couple was mutual, aud parental objection only intensified tho affection of the lovers. The Spanish girl’s nature is such that, once in love, she never changes. Final ly, after two years’ entreaty and devo tion, Colonel Pelton won the consent of the parents of the beautiful Spanish girl, and they were marriod and re moved to Fort Macrae. Then commenced a honeymoon such ns only lovers, shut up in a beautiful flower-environed fort, can liave. The lovely character of the beautiful bride won tho hearts of tho soldiers of tho fort, and she remained a queen among these rough frontiersmen. Ono day, when the love of the soldier and his lovoly wife wore at its height, the two, accompanied by the young wife’s mother and twenty soldiers, rodo ont to tho hot springs, six miles from tho fort, to take a bath. While in tho bath, which is near tlio Rio Grande, au Indian’s arrow passed over their heads. Then a shower of arrows fell around them, and a bnnd of wild Apache Indians rushed down upon them, whooping and yelling like a band of demons. Several of the sol diers fell dead, pierced with poisoned arrows. This frightened tho lost, who Hod. Another shower of arrows, nnd the beautiful brido and her mother fell into the water, pierced by the cruel weapons of the Aps' iV' 0 , With his wife dying bo tore his :\#iCMj£khWjpl Pets'll leaped up the bank, grasped his rifle aud killod the leader of the savage fiends. But tho 4paches were too much for the colonel. Pierced with two poisoned arrows, he swam into the river and hid under an overhanging rock. After tho savages hod left, tlio colonel swam the river and made his way back to Fort Macrae. Hero his wounds were dressed, nnd ho finally recovered, but only to live a blasted life—without love, without hope, with a vision of his beautiful wife, pierced with poisoned arrows, dying per petually before his eyes. After the death of his wife a change enmo to Colonel Pelton. Ho seemed to think thnt ho had a sacred mission from Heaven to avenge liis yonng wife’s death. Ho secured the most unerring rifles, surrounded himself with brave companions, aud consecrated himself to the work of revenge. Ho was always anxious to lead any and all expeditions against the Apaches. Whenever any of the other Indians were at war with the Apaches, Colonel Pelton would soon be at the head of tho former. One day he would bo at the bond of his soldiers, and tho next day he would be at the head of a band of Mexicans. Nothing gave him pleasure but tho sight of dead Apaelies. He defied tho Indian arrows and courted death. Once, with a baud of the wildest desperadoes, he penetrated 100 miles into the Apache country. The Apnches never dreamed that anything but an en tire regiment would dare to follow them a> their camp in the mountains. Bo when Colonel Pelton swooped down into tlioir lodges with ten trusty follow ers, firing their Henry rifles at the rate of twenty times a minute, the Apaches flod in consternation, leaving their wo men and children behind. It was then that there darted out of a lodge a white woman. “Spare the women 1” she cried, and fainted to the ground. When the colonel jumped from hih saddle to lift up the woman ho found she was blind. "How came you here, woman, with these Apaches ?” he asked. “I was wounded and captured,” she said, “ten years ago. Take, oh, take me hack again 1” “Haveyou any relations iu Texas?” asked the colonel. “No, my father lives in Albuquerque. My husband, Colonel Pelton, and my mother wero killod by the Indians.” “Great God, Bella ! Is it you, my wife?” “Oh, Albert, I knew you would come I” exclaimed the poor wife, blindly reaching her hands to clasp her hus band. Of course there was joy in the old •anche when Colonel Pelton got book with his wife. The Apaches carried the wounded woman away with them. The poison caused inflammation, which finally destroyed her eyesight. When I saw the colonel in his Texas ranche he was reading a newspaper to his blind wile while in her hand she held a bouquet of fragrant Cape jessa mines which he had gathered for her. rt was a picture of absolute happiness, NO. 51. The It ain r Fire. November 13, 1833, is n date to lie remembered. It wns just about fifty years ago that there occurred iu the United States a memorable “rain of fire” known as the great fall of meteors. Its greatest intensity whs in the hour which brought daybreak; hut it was an impressive and awe-inspiring soene from about 2 o’olook till broad daylight, and the exhibition was only ended by being swallowed up in the beams of broad day. It seemed a veri table rain of tire. The negroes of Vir ginia and other regions South were frightened nearly to death; every well was said to oontum one or more negroes, who had gone down by rope or bucket, to escape the “day of wrath aud day of burning.” The tremendous spectacle frightened thousands of steady-going people here abouts. But there was in reality no •ause for fear. Our planet, in its swift flight, had brushed the skirts of one of the two vast meteor-streams whose or bits, one in August and the other in No vember, touoh the orbit of the earth. Tho law of gravitation, aided perhaps by a little deeper than the customary mix ing of orbits, chanced to prodnoe, at thnt junction, a far greater shower of meteors than usual, and it fell chiefly upon that hemisphere that wag most fully presented to tho laxly of meteors. Those appear to be bodies of various sizes, aggregated in a great stream, mil lions of miles long, and having an orbit, like any of tho planets. The August stream is said to be 90,000,000 miles long, and the November stream is of un known extent. Owing to burning, caused by the fric tion which our dense atmosphore in volves, to foreign bodies plunging through it at that tremendous rate, few of these so-called meteors ever reach tho surface that are larger, when found, than an apple—or, perhaps (to continue the bucolic chnrmcter of the comparison), a pumpkin. They are set on Are nnd burned np in falling—and most of them fall in the shape of unnoticed ashes, or "meteoric dust.” Now and then a big one is found. Meteors weighing tons have fallen on (he earth—and perhaps some that were of more stupendous di mensions than anybody now imagines. All (save a semi-vitreous “iron-stone” character. Untqld millions and quadrill *iont W motors [weii visible on fire, iu the air, and falling in a rain of fire, in those dark hours before tho dawn, on the 13th of November, 1883. — Hartford Times. How a Brig Was Saved. The brig Louisa Oaipel, Captain Park er, of Yarmouth, N. 8., arrived at New port, after encountering the most extra ordinary hurricanes and gales the cap tain ever knew. He thinks the vessel and all on board would hnve been lost but for the fact that he had a largo cargo of fish oil. The waves swept continuously over the vessel and finally the deck load began to slip, when he gave orders for a number of small holes to be bored in the casks containing the oil. While this was being done the men engaged wore nearly swept overboard ; but in a few minutes the oil trickled on the deck through the scuppers and into the ocean and almost ns soon as the oil reached the water the waves were less boisterous, and in less than a half hour there was an unmistakable diminution in the foroc and number of the waves that broke over the ship. In an hour they had almost entirely subsided. The ohief mate says he has never be fore seen oil used lint he is enthusiastic in the declaration that the fish oil saved the brig, cargo and crew. Indignant Officers The manners of the Prussian officer on parade leaves much to bo desired. But it is seldom indeed that ono hears of such language being used to soldiers and officers as was addressed the other day to the battalion which seems to con stitute the entire military force of the Oldenburg Grand Duchy. Major Btein mann of the Prussian army had been sent to inspect the Oldenburg troops, aud probably had been instructed to do his best toward bringing them up to the Prussian level. After reviewing the four companies, and finding the men deficient in smartness he oalled them “Oldenburg oxen.” This insult went to tho hearing of the Oldonburgers. The four Captains commanding the four companies comprised in the Oldenburg battalion waited upon the inspector and severally called him to account for his offensive words, when from each of the four Major Steinmann accepted a chal lenge. In the first encounter he wonnded his man, on which the people rose in in surrection, and, rushing to the Major’s bouse, attacked it and wrecked his property, so that to repress the riot the very troops who had been insulted had to bo called out. In the second duel Major Steinmann was himself wounded in the shoulder; and, according to the latest newß, lie will, as soon ss <xmvalescent. be recalled to Berlin. After missing his tenth rabbit—“l’ll tell yon what it is, Bagster, yonr rab bits are all two inches too abort here bouts I” Manta yonng man who works hard during the day allows his hand* to go to waist during the evouiug. THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT WE KINO IN THKM TO BMU.B OVKK. FELT Til* SITUATION. A German farmer wan on trial in one of the justioe courts the other day for assault and battery, and had pleaded not gnilty. When tho oross-examina tlon came the opposing counsel asked: “Now, Jaoob, there was trouble be tween you and the plaintiff, wasn't there?" "I oxpeot dere vhae.” “He said something about yonr dog being a sheep-killer, and you resented it, eh?" "Vhell, I calls him a liar.” “Exactly. Then he oalled yon aome hard names?” “He oalls me a aauer-kraut Dutch mans.” "Just so. That made you mad.” “Oof conrae. I vhns so madt I shake all oafer." "I thought ao. Now, Jacob, you are a man who speaks the truth. I don’t believe yon could be hirod to tell a lie.” “Veil, I plief I vlias pooty honest.” “Of course you are—of course. Now, Jacob, you must have struok the first blow. Yon see ” The other lawyer objected, and after a wrangle the defendant turned to the oourt and said: “I doan' oxaotly make ondt how it vhas. I like to own oop dot I shtruck first, but I haf paid my lawyer $5 to brove de odder vhay. I doan’ like to tell a lie, bnt I feel badt to lose der money!”— Detroit Free Frets. A TERRIBLE REVENUE. “ That was a very brilliant wedding last evening, and, by the way, the bride was an old flame of yonrs, was she not ?” “Yes, the,,t?Mile, heartless thing, as soon as gn count put in an ap pearance she j&e d me." “I see by the papers that among tho wedding presents were ten magnificent clocks. Rather odd that so many different persons seould hit on the same tilings for presents. But why are you smiling ?” “Ah ! revenge is sweet 1 revengo is sweet 1” “ What can you mean ?” “ Don’t breathe a word and I will tell you. I am acquainted with most of that cruel flirt’s friends, and it so hap pened that nine of them, not knowing of my previous love, came to me for suggestions about a wedding present. I confidentially advised eaoh of them to send her a clock, and afterward I added another clock myself. Ha! ha! tho villain still pursues her ! lam avenged avenged 1” “ Mercy, man! are yon mad ?” “ Never waa more sane in my life.” “Then how in the world can tho presentation of ten valuable docks con stitute revenge ?” “ Hist ? Can’t you see ? She will, ot course, put them in different rooms, and thn will not have a minute’s peace 1 uiitfi She get* then* to run together. She will begin by trying to regulate them herself. In six weeks she will he a raving maniac.’’— Philadelphia Call. SHE WANTED A FIGHTING COURT. “Yonr Honor,” said a middle-aged Irish woman to Justice Murray in the Harlem Police Court, “ I come here agin Mrs. Houlihan.’’ “What’s the trouble?” asked Justice Murray. “Sure, Judge, I own a wee bit of a house’on the rocks, near the Park, and it has two rooms, so it has. Well, one of mo rooms I lets to Mrs. Houlihan, and when I axed her for the rint divil a cint did I get.” “That’s an action fora Civil Court.” “ACivil Court, did yer say, Judge? When a woman throws stones through me winder when I ax her for me rint, is that civil ?” “Deoidedly not.” “Thin what do I want wid a Civil Court. Sure, I want me rint.” "Yon will have to go to the Civil Court, my dear;woman. I oan do noth ing for you. They will get yonr rent for yon.” As the lady went away she remarked . “To the divil wid a Civil Court. Mrs. Houlihan threw stones in me winder, and sure it’s the fightin’ court I want.” —Truth. didn’t hit him. A tough old debtor in a town near the Hndson river entered a grooory the other morning, and stood for a loig time looking at an exhibtion of ping tobacco. The grocer felt certain that the old man wanted credit, and he determined to head him off. He therefore observed: “I have to sell that tobacco for cash down I” “Youdo, eh?” “Yes, sir. Tobacco is cash on the nail.” “How’s sugar?” “That’s cash.” . “Tea and coffee?” “Cash—all oash. Soap, molasses, candles, kerosene, butter, lard, potatoes, floor, rice, hams, starch—all are spot oash.” The old man stood and looked over th* stock for five minntes, and then heave* a long sigh, and replied: "Well, Mr. Waters, that don’t hit ra worth a cent. I wish to get trusted foi three dozen clothespins 1” A Merchant, after satisfying himself that a certain customer did not intend to pay his bill, sent him a receipt for the full amount. By retnm mall he re ceived the following note: “Uster have my doubts about you bein’ a gentleman, but lam satisfied on that pint. There is a great difference in men. One time I owed a fellow a bill, and after dnnnin’ me nearly to death he sent me a receipt for half of the amqjint, and blamed if he didn’t finally make me pay the other half. Bnt you have done the square thing by me, an' J am much obleeged to yo,” '