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BLOOD POISON! 100 Bottles of Another Blood Medi cine Used—No Relief Until B. B. B Was Used Hampton, Ga., June 12th, 1883. Buxp Halm Cos Ymir Ji. B. It. h work *l on me like a charm. Three bottles have lone me more good than all doctors and 100 ot ties of the most noted remedy. 1 am get mg well rapidly. All ulcers healed, no aching f my bones, no pains in mv back, and my kiu u becoming ch ar. Tin* effect of B. Ji. B. ii my kidneys is something wonderful. My friends axe astonished. My family physician ays it is the only medicine I ever used suited omv case. I would take pleasure in corres nonduig with any one interested, as 1 can’t ni P P? 1 *"!" B ‘ B : B - Bideed it is a great isiood Purifier. Give anyone my address who may call for it. ‘ xl' W Address, BLOOD BALM CO.. Atlanta, Ua.. or Summerville, Ga. Seorfula Cured After Srural Phvsirian Fill,Kit. On the 28th day of April, 18.13. William Sea lo(|k, 12 years of age, presented himself to*Dr. Gillam, desiring to know if Ji. B. B. would cure him. He fives on Dr. L. A. Guild's place, near the cemetery, and the case is well known by Dr, Guild, who has particularly noticed it. The boy had a foul scrofulous ulcer involv es the entire elbow joint, with which he hail been afflicted over twelve months. It had <le a.royed the superficial structure, and was fast the deeper tissues. He could not p. nd the arm, and had strong indications of the same ulcerous condition of the shoulder. Two other physicians of the city had treated the case, but without any perceptible change in his condition. He was placed upon the treatment of B. B. B. y and one single bottle cured the foul ulcer and restored the fast de generating condition of the child, and he it now enjoying the finest of health. This is a plain and unmistakable case of well defined scrofula, and recognized as such, cured with one single 1 ottlo of 15. 11. R, and t. take pleasure in asking any interested party to address Dr. 1.. A. Guild, Atlanta, Ga., on the subject relative value of the medicine in this case. If one well defined case of scrofula can lie cured, others can bo cured also. BLOOD BALM CO., Atlanta, Georgia. IS THAT SO? Yes, it's a fact, that one large bottle of B. II n. costing only ?1 is warranted to produce a? niii sh remedial effect in the cure of all Blood i’oison as three bottles of the most famous blood medicines of the day. Yes, three t one ; that's the way we put it, ami we are able to back our word with strong evidence. B. 11. B. is the miiok blood remedy, and there is n< mistake about it. 'Hie proof i* printed tht fiat has gone forth the tocsin ha sheen sound ed, and‘*he that hath ears to hear, let him hear.” Fi r sHe in 8u nmerville by .T S. CL! GIIORN & C(X V w 1 V* hew Home l^AacßEie | jJ'lltYU OUTOF ORDER. JAs No e quai- = Z. NEW howe h c HA EHINEG f 30 UNION SQUARE NEWYORK C*' CAe O ILL. MASS. GA. TOR SALE BY PJbL V Ii I ; & UA IN, SUM MERVILLK, GA. Nerve-life and Viai - RESTORED. This cut sh ws the ~ Howard Eloctric Miusiietic Shield pr , j as applied over ile Kid I i$L neyeand Nervo-i M centers. Tne •i ly pllance marie tliar tits every pr the bexly, ami the A fob _ % inly one i: -a-ri • ' m \ 1 Ih| \ POSITIVELY eve* 5 k jj* | KidneyDlsensr S I K liiMimml n OF THE 3 l yspep si >• I*. jhl the worst cas* • SI Nemhial \Tfu!s .y 1 new, Eihuui jilE>a>^ r! lion, Inipotcn HL j, HoWAo fjA t VJ. And oil Ul. eoMtnndWeak || tie,, if thr-1 rlur s* ■" I.tiiUul Organ* [Patented Kid). 25, 187 B.) —' ■ y OWO MET from early Indiscretion, I nerve force and fail to attain atrenirth. MIDDLE ABP MEN often lack vi(ror. atfrlbnt log It to the progress of year.. The MOTHER. WIFE and MAII>. so tiering fron Female We.kn. fl, JJ.rvooi Debility and other ail mente, will find it the only dire. To one and all we ray that the Shield (fires a nat ural aid in a natnra! •■vav _ withoft rmvoaiNG the stomach Warranted One Vear, and the he. appliance made. Illustrated Pampblol. THREE TYPES OF MEN also Pamphlet for Ladles only, sent on receipt o Cc. sealed; ensealed, FREE. American Galvanic Cos. OFFICE, j 1103 thetntit St., Phlla. A member of the New York Phonetic Club writes to this able and influential paper, asking us to “drop the final ne in words so ending, and spell dialog, fepilog, etc.” Well, we kick. We are willing to drop the ue to a limited ex tent, but when the New York language club asks us to spell glue, gl, we pro* test. Rothschild has sworn at Frankfort on-the Main that bin income only *4,- 788,000. Rothschild is regarded as rich 4 over in Europe, but he would be mighty small potatoes in this country.— Phila delphia News* @l)c <S>rtsdti\ V 0. XI. ••THINGS THAT ARE HOT/ 1 I dreamed a dream of Love, That she was holy, pure, and true, A friend to give delight on earth, A voice to bid man look above, Her constancy her only worth, Alas ! like this she comes to very few. I heard her sacred name On lips of many, young and old, I looked their idol in the face, A giddy, pleasure-seeking dame, Whose vanity is her disgrace, Whose summer friendship fades befor# the cold. Is love then but a dream, The sweetest fancy man can know? Or has she broken earthly bars And fled, with her celestial gleam. To shine aloft among the stars And look with scorn upon the aloud below ? When Faith and Hope are dead, When lift- lias for its only aim To seek the passing moment’s bliss, To find sufficiency of bread, Man soon bis highest joys will miss, And seeking Love will find her bnt a name. THE LOVERS’ QU \UR EL "Never, while I live,” said Miss Rasli eigh, “never while I live, will f nee your face again 1" She meant It when she said it; and as she spoke, she threw her betrothal ring owiod her lover, who had offended her. It missed him and rolled down upon the floor and over the sill of an open china closet—one of those old-fashioned closets that used to stand on either side of the mantel-piece. She did not notice where it rolled; he did though; and after she had left the room, he turned to pick it up. The ring Rlie hail worn would always be precious to him. Miss Rashleigh went straight to her own room, as miserable a girl as ever lived, and a moment later Grandmother Rashleigh hustled into the drawing-room, [lushed the open closet door to, picked up the fallen magazine, set the annnals and books of poetry straight on the table, pulled down the shades, arranged the chairs mathematically against the wall, and hustled out again. “I’ve had these things fifty years,” she said to herself, “and there’s Cornelia and her beau with no more respect for them than if they were so much lumber.” Then she closed the door behind her. ami went away to act own room up stairs, where a fine silk patchwork quilt was in tho frame, a surprise for said Cornelia. Grandmother Rashleigh gave every young person of the family something of her own manufacture on his or her wed ding day. “Now,” the old lady had said a dozen times to Triplieny King, who was help ing her; “I rather think Cornelia will have the best thing I’ve done; and there’s a bit in it of every handsomo silk there's ever been in tho family, and of her father’s and grandfather’s wed- ding vests.” / “Yos’m, it’s a real memorial quilt,” / said Tripheny. “It takes you, mum, to ' plan such things.” / The quilt was finished and bound that afternoon, and Tripheny’s job of quilt ing being over she went home. But she carried about the village the news that she “was sure all was over bet ween Miss Rashleigh and Mr. Spear. She’d heard (Cornelia saymg something to her grandma, and the old lady was furious.” “He wonld never have done that if he ' had cared for me, you know, grandma,” Cornelia was saying at that moment. “Stuff and nonesense ! He loves the ground you walk on 1” said the old lady. “You’ll never get such another, Cor nelia I “I shall never marry at all; I hate men !” Cornelia answered. And then her grandmother marie the house too hot to hold her, and she went over to her mother’s, her usual eourse when she fell out with grandma. Three days passed. At the end of the third Piety Pratt stepped in at Mrs. Rashleigh’s—young Mrs. Kasiileigh, as j they called her, though she was nearly fifty, for grandma was old Mrs. Bash ! leigh. j “I expect you'll feel upset when Ite j yon the news, Cornelia,” she said. “Yo have been too cruel this time—he, he, he ! Orville Spear ha’n’t been heard of Bince he was at your house. His mother says he went over to explain and make np, and he never came back—he, he ! She thought maybe he’d stepped over to his brother’s, bnt he hadn’t—he, he I I ' reckon he’s drowned himself I” “I don’t know why the whole town should talk over my affairs and every meddling old maid giggle about them 1” i cried Cornelia. Piety jumped to her feet, seized her ; parasol and turned toward the door. “Good afternoon, Miss Cornelia and I Mrs. Rashleigh,” she said, with a eon j temptnons courtesy. “I'll remember my manners, if other folks forget theirs. | Only there’s other folks as likely to be old maids as me, and I fancy it’s Mrs, Spear’s affair now if anything haa hap pened to her boy I” Away flounced Miss Pratt. “You’ve pnt Piety into a rage, Cor nelia,” said Mrs. Rashleigh. “That’s a i pity; she has a long tongue. ” j But Cornelia was crying. “Oh, mother, dear,” she sobbed, “it isn’t true, is it ? Orville did feel dread fully. Won’t you see, mother?” But at this moment Sally, the little servant girl from Gradma Bashleigh’s SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, MARCH 12, 1884. oarne flying into the room, without any more warning than if she hail been shot from a gun. “The old missus says yon are to come over at once, both yon ladies I” she cried, standing before Mrs. Rashleigh, and re peating her lesson like aparrot. “There’s something of importance, and you’re needed at wonst.” “Get your bonnet, Cornelia,” said her mother. “I’ll just put on this sun-hat. What is it, Sally ; do you know ?" “I know it’s something dreadful Mis sus is almost wild, and there’s lots of folks there. Something alwnt Mr. Spear.” The two ladies said uo more. They hurried away together, and entering grandma’s parlor, found there assembled more of tho members of the Spear family and a friend or two besides. Orville had indeed disappeared. Ho had never been homo since his visit to Cornelia, and now the alarmed relatives were anxious to get all the information they could regarding tho interview be tween Orville and Cornelia. "I had reason to be angry, Mrs Spear,” said Cornelia, proudly; “good reason, and I took off my ring and gave it back and went out of the room. I don’t know when ho went or where, I —I thought he wouldn’t mind so much. I believed he had stopped earing about me. “He ought to now, at all events,” said grandma “My boy is dead, I’m sure. I shall have the pond dragged I” said Mrs. Spear, amidst her tears. “He left all his money at home. Ho wouldn’t have gone traveling without a change o clothes. Oh, you wicked girl ?” “I hope,” cried tho eldest Miss Spear, “that he’ll haunt vou I” “I could kill you, yon hateful thing !” cried the youngest Miss Spear. Cornelia had kept up bravely until now; but when her two friends turned upon her thus, she gave a little scream, aud fell over on tho sofa. Bho was in a dead swoon, and the water they sprin kled in her face did not bring her to. Grandma grew frightened. “I hope it isn’t an attack of heart dis ease,” she said. “Poor child I sho looks as if she were dead. ” “Oh, don’t say that 1” cried th mother. They gathered around Cornelia an did all they could for her, and soon si recovered and sat up, but all her pri<’ was gone. “Oh, dear! oh, dear!” she sobbed, “I wish I had died 1 I wish I had never come to I Oh, Orville ! Orville I what has become of you ?” “Oh 1 oh I” moaned the mother. “Oh 1 oh 1” moaned the sisters. And Cornelia’s head fell back again, "Emma, get the lavender out of the china-closet,” said grandma to her daughter. “Quick ! It’s on the corner shelf 1” Mrs. Rashleigh rushed to tho closet. “It won’t open,” she cried, wildly. “It’s a patent lock,” said grandma; “locks as it shuts. Here’s tho key.” And Mrs. Rashleigh flew back to the door, opened it and uttered a shriek. There on the. floor, huddled np under the shelf lay poor Orville Spear. He was white and limp. Cornelia sat and stared at him in the most awful way. She thought him dead, but the more experienced matron saw that he was yet living. Sally was sent post-haste for the doc tor; and there, in Mrs. Rashleigh’s drawing-room, he found Cornelia and Or ville lying quite unconscious, like Romeo and Juliet in the soeue at the tomb, and tho rest of the party in a state of bewilderment and terror past description. At last, however, both were conscious and seated in arm-chairs, regarded each other, while the observers kept silence, and Mr. Orville Spear littered tho first words. “Of all confounded fools ” “Who, dear?” asked his mother. “Me,” said Orville, regardless of grammar. “Who shut me in ?” “What were you in tho closet for?” asked grandma, with a guilty con science. “To pick something up that rolled there,” said Orville. “Tho ring?” asked Cornelia, fran tically. “Yes, the ring,” said Mr. Spear. “More fool 11 Someone banged the door to. I shouted and howled and kicked, and no one heard me.” “Oh, oh, oh, oh 1” shrieked Cornelia. “I believe you hid there to kill me, for no other purpose than out of revenge.” “You banged the door on me,” said Mr. Spear. “A jealous woman would do any thing. ” "I banged the door, Orville!” said old Mrs. Rashleigh. “I! You’d left everything flying. I just pushed it as I passed, and you ought to bless your stars that you are alive, for people don’t go .into the drawing-room, sometimes for a fortnight in this small family. We use the parlor much more, and I am deaf, and so is old Hepsiba, and you might have died there. Yes, and yon’d have killed him, Cornelia,” added the old lady, “throwing his pretty diamond ring on the floor 1” “Oh 1” moaned Cornelia. “Oh 1” “It wasn’t her fault. I was a con founded fool all through I” cried Orville. “I knew that closet had a spring-look. No; don’t blame Cornelia.” “I shall always blame jayseli I" sighed Cornelia. “Oh, how pale you are!” "And how pale you are, Cornelia !’ sighed Orville. “Did you really oare when you thought I was dead ?” “Ladies,” said Grandma Rashleigh, “now that Orville is getting on, let us go luto tlte otner room and leave these two young folks to talk things over to gether.” Sho led the way ; the others followed. When tho ton-boll rang soon after, Orville aud Cornelia came out of tho drawing-room arm-in-arm, and tho wed ding-day was fixed. Floating Tillages. LITTLE COMMUNITIES THAT LIVE ON THE CLUSTERED CANAL BOATS. People who visit the neighborhood of the Atlantic or .Erie Basins will notico the smoko curling from the little stunted stovepipes projecting above the neat white cabins of the scores of canal boats that remain there the winter through. About the decks, when tho snow is on, will bo seen the tracks left by the shoes of little ones, the French-heeled shoes of maidens and tho broad soles of tho men. There are other easily-found signs which show that in every boat a family is living, and that, in fact, these collections of boats are communities, separate and distinct like villagos in the country. These families are bound to gether by social ties and by similar bus iness interests. The boats furnish them their moans of livelihood, and aro their homes the year round. They inter marry, aud many a man among them was bom on a boat of pareuts who wore on the canal about all their lives before him. More quiet, poaceablo, industri ons communities cannot bo found than the villages floating in these basins. The community of interests among them is so strong that a society was formed somo years ago for the advance ment of their pecuniary and other in terests. By its efforts the agitation was rtinted which first took the toll from the unloaded boat and at last gave New York State its free canal. Tho society is now called the Canal Boat Owners’ and Commercial Association. It num bers over 200 members.— N. V. Sun. Smashing ’em All Up. In 1801 when Oonerfi! McClellan made his demonstration oil Winchester ill order to cover his real design of approaching Richmond by the Peninsula route, he marched ns far as Rerryville, West Virginia, and a little beyond there re traced his steps and with haste pro ceeded to embark his troops on board of transports t 8 be carried to Fortress Monroe. On tho advance toward Winchester, when the head of tho column had reached Charlestown, greater caution was observed on tho march, as it was expected that the enemy would be en countered at Berryville. A Western brig adier was sent forward with his brigade to feel the enemy. Now this officer had seen service in Mexico and was ac counted a brave and experienced officer. As ho passed at the head of his troops by the regiment of Col. Owen, of Phila delphia, he stopped, and [lulling his moustache as was his habit, said: “Look out now, Colonel, you’ll hear music soon, sir. I’ll knock ’em all to thunder if I meet ’em. Make no mistako, sir.” Then he rode on and sure enough, about the time he should have arrived at Berryville, tho boom of cannon was heard and the troops hurried to tho front. We went up at the double-quick and when near Berryville met tho brig adier coming back radiant with joy. Pulling his moustache again he cried out: “What did did I toll you? I made ’em bounce. They bronght out a battery into the open ground, just beyond town, but it never fired a shot, sir. I knocked it all to flinders la-fore it conld un limber.” Troops hurried on and as we came to the spot indicated wo found a threshing machine utterly wrecked and a dead horse in tho harness, still hitched to it. In a house near by were some farmers frightened half to death. They had been going out to thresh some grain when tho rampart brigadier saw them and opened his batteries on them. When the brigadier heard he had de stroyed a threshing machine only his jaw fell and it was many a day before he heard the last of his ludicrous adven ture. Meeting Trouble, Never meet trouble half-way Numbers of people really make them selves ill by going out to meet disaster and misfortune —in other words, by fancying all sorts of bad things are about to happen to them. Asa rule, not a tithe of these terrible eventualities ever occur, and all the shrinking apprehension is undergone for nothing. A man, especially a family man and a father, ought always to prepare for tho worst—for instance, by insuring his life. But this is no reason for his getting up every morning and fancying he is going to die before noon 1 If people always lived within their means, always had a little pnt by, and never let the future worry them unduly, they wonld lead far happier lives than at present seems to be the case. To kill the hour and leave no crevice for repentance or an approval —that is happiness, IT IS BEST TO KEEP SOBER. A YOUNG WAN IMUTNIi, ANDTIIK POSI TION IN WIIUII IT I’IiAOKM 11 IN IIKMT GIUI.. An Orltflnnl Wny t THlliik n illnn why It in llt’Ml not (o Orlnk 100 Aliu’li 1 rto 1.11 in’ll* IFromPeek’s Sun.] A young man who signs himself “A Bounced One,” writes and asks the fol lowing question: “Is a girl right in giv ing her fellow tho bounce, if he comes home full of—uot love, but beer—once, only once, during a two year’s engage ment?’’ Tho girl is the one to judge whether sho is right or not. If sho thinks she is right, that settles it. It does uot follow that because a young man gets full once in a two year’s en gagement, that he would necessarily make a drunken husband, but a girl is supposed to know whether she wants to take tho chances or not. It is not a light thing to he drunk in the presence of one yon love, young man. You may laugh at it, and think she will look upon it as a joke, but you are liable to knock all the love out of her heart, wlieu you think you are smart. Sho thinks of you as a noble man, and your pioture is in her heart, engraved, ns it were, there, just ns sho sees yon when yon aro at your brightest and best. What a shook it gives her to see you drunk, with your eyes blood-shot and watery, your hair, that, perhaps, she has stroked with her gentle hand, all tangled np and full of cheese sandwich ! She has admired your gentlemanly bearing, and now she s es you staggering, and left-handed in both feot. She lias learned to love to hear yon laugh, and see yon smile, and the echoes of your pleasant words linger in her soul, and when sho hears thut maudlin laugh of drunkenness, and sees a leer in place of the heavenly smile, and listens to your words, that come thick and uncertain, as though from your stomach, aud sho does not know blit, the next words that come will lie accompa nied by stale beer and free lunch, you cannot wonder that sho gives yon the bounce. You would not go and have your photograph taken when you were drunk, and present it to tier, and yet, when you appear before her in that condition, your appearance is photographed on her heart, and the new pictures takes tho place of (lie old one that has been there, and try however hard sho may to see you as sho wants to, bright and sober, and a true lover, for tho lifo of her, sho cannot erase the drunken picture, and while she would forgive yon if she could, she feels that yon have hurt her terribly. She is not, to blame, poor girl, for bouncing yon. You bounced yourself out of her heart when you thought you were smart, aud got full. True love and drunken ness cannot exist, where the parties aro refined. You had rather she would bounce you than to have her tolerate you, and always have that picture of your drunken condition coming up before hor. You can probably find a girl, less refined, who would overlook your getting drunk, and yon may marry such a one, but you will always love the little finger of the good girl who bounced you more than yon can ever love tho one who will overlook and laugh at your drunkenness. It is a serious thing to do as you have done, and forty years from now, instead of thinking you did a smart thing, yon will discover that you made a colossal fool of yourself, if you think so now, and decide that sho has done right and can convince hor that you realize what you have done, and are not too proud to go and tell her about it, and ask her pardon, it may be well with you, but if you feel that she is over-nice, and has wronged you, yon had better stay away, and then yon ean get drunk all you want to, with no little girl that you love, to complain, aud you will regret your act us long as you live, It is best to keep sober. An International (Juestion. Dr. Edward Nunez, of Philadelphia received word from relatives in Cuba that Colonel Emilio Nunez, a tobacco importer of that city, had been arrested while on hoard the American schooner John Ji. Hamil, Jr., lying in the harbor of Sagua la Grande, Cubn. Colonel Nunez had formerly been an officer in the patriot army and recently applied for a passport to return to Cuba to sottlo his brother’s estate. This was refused. Ho then embarked on the schooner as one of her crew, not intending to land on Cnban soil. The schooner reached Cuba January 12, and two days after ward a demand was made for the sur render of Colonel Nunez. This was re fused by the schooner’s captain, and an armed crew from a man-of-war then took him prisoner. Dr. Nunez left for Wash ington to lay the ease before the Secre tary of State, “Thebe were 050,000,000 menhadon taken in the waters about New York and in Long Island Sound last season,” said a dealer in oils to a reporter, “but they were so poor that the oil secured from them was only 1,300,000 gallons, against nearly 82,050,000 gallons from 350,- 000,000 fish taken in 1882. The fer tilizer made, however, in 1883 was a third more than that made in tho previous yoar—about 10,000 toDS against 30,000, in favor of last season. The market is full of the fertilizer, and it is being held for better prioes. NO. S. LAWSUITS FOR EVERYBODY. Tlic tllnnncr In which n Wcwfcrn FdUor Sol i led ono ill owl Amicably. “Rawing it” is one of tho moat ridicu lous parts of tho experience of Amor cans. It seems to be considered a cheap luxury to have a lawsuit, and yet it is very expensive. It has got so half of the people seem to have a chip on their shoulder all tho time, ready for somo body to knock it off, aiul tho firHt thing they do when they think thoy have boon Injured is to go for a lawyer or a justice of the pence, and a lawsuit is the result; men who aro not interested aro taken from their business to act. ns jurors, and ill feeling is created that lasts forever. The fact that the poorest person in the world can indulge in a lawsuit, aud he encouraged by lawyers, and pointed at ns “the one who had the lawsuit,” causes many eases in courts. Instead of using every other device for a settlement oi differences before resorting to the courts, a lawsuit is tho first tiling thought of. If a man slips dowu on the sidewalk, ho looks up to boo who owns the building iu front of which ho fell, with n view of suing him for damages, even before he feels of himself to find if ho is hurt. He does not Btop to think that perhaps his boots are to blame, being run over at the heel, and it does not enter his head that ho is liable to bo beaten iu tho law suit and havo a bill of costs saddled onto him. Two men aro driving in opposite directions and run into each other, and, without stopping to reason together to Bee if tho damage camiot ho amicably settled, they shake their fists at each other, call names, and one drives off after a policeman and tho other goes to a justico of the peaco to complain, and a lawsuit is the result, in which both aro damaged more than by tho accident, bnt each always believes that the other is a pirate, and their children quit speaking to each other. If men who have differ ences would go to some neighbor and state their case and abide by his deci sion, shake hands and be friends after ward, the country wonld be better off’. Not many months ago a man felt ag grieved at something that appeared in the Sun, and after blowing around for a day or two ho came to the office to inter view the editor. Ho explained his grievance, and wound up by saying that his lawyer had told him that tho article wns libelous, aud that he could recover damages. The editor nover had a law suit and nover wanted one, and ho said to the man: “Partner, a lawsuit is a foolish way to enjoy religion. Now, I’ll tell you what to do. You go to the President of the Merchants’ Association, of which yon are a member and lam not. Have the President appoint a committee of five men from tho association to hear your statement. You take the paper contain ing the obnoxious article to them, and state your case, just ns strong as you can. I will not make any defense. Whatever amount they say you have been damaged I will give a check for, and we will shake hands and be friends, and go to the same church as usual, and listen to tho same minister preach tho gospel. If I havo damaged you, you must havo your money; but wo don’t wan’t, to spend the balance of our lives in a lawsuit.” Tho man stopped and thought a mo ment, aud said: “That is the fairest proposition I ever heard, and yon don’t owo mo a cent, and the matter shall drop from this mo ment.” If people would never go into a law suit until they couldn’t go into anything else, there would be fewer men with ene mies all around, and while lawyers might get tired sitting around, it would do them good in the end.— Peek's Sun. School was Out. “ I hear a great deal of talk,” said old Mr. Joblingson, as he drove out into the country, the other day, in order to enjoy a sleigh-ride with a friend, “of the decay of manners in Americans, and particularly iu American youth. Now I don’t take much stock in it. To be sure, when I was a hoy, I was taught to say * Sir ’or ‘ Madam ’ to every man or woman who spoke to mo, and to take off my hat to every grown person I might meet on my way to school. Nowadays tho boys aro less formal, per haps, but aro they less truly polite? I think not. Look at tho crowd outside tho school-house wo are just coming to. Did you ever see a brighter, more re spectful, quieter set of hoys? Gentle men, ovory one of them, I make no doubt.” Tho boys were, indeed, re markably quiet, and when the old gen tleman hade them “good day” as he and his friend skimmed by, they re sponded in fitting terms. "What did I tell yon?” asked Mr. Joblingson proudly, as tho congregation was passed. But at that instant a snow-ball came between the heads of tho pair, and, striking tho horse, set him off at a dead gallop; another knocked off Mr. Job liugson’s hat; a dozen hit him and his friend on their backs at the same instant, and as long as they woro in rango they were soundly peppered, amid the hoots and yells of tho “quiet young gentle men.” And when the horse was stopped, and Joblingson had picked the snow out of his ears and neck, he cursed the youth of the present generation roundly for a pack of roughs and incor rigible rasoals, THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT \VK KIND IN THRU TO Nintl.B OVKK. MUSICAL COUNTERFEIT DBTEOTER. "One of these dollars is a counterfeit, ma’am.” “How ean you toll ?” “Simply by sound. Just tap it, an hear how clear the genuine sounds. That’s tenor. Notice when I tap the other one. That’s base.”— Austin Sift ings. A nor WITH AN BYE TO BUSINESS. “Please, ma’am, I’ll clean yonr side walk for a quarter.” “But it is cleaned. I just paid a boy thirty cents to shovel off the snow, and yet yon are tho sixth boy who wanted to clean it over. I presume there’ll be twenty more.” "Then, ma’am, gimme fifteen cents and I’ll sit on tho door-steps and tell ’em they’re loft 1” A BIRD IN THE HAND. “My darling, yon do not bestow upon me so much affection as yon did before wo wore married,” romarkod a ponting bride of four years to her husband. “Don’t I?” ho replied. “No, Charles, you do not; you pay very little attention to me,” said his wife. “Well, my dear,” observed thewioked husband, “did you ever see a man run after a liorsc-car after ho had caught it ?” CLEAR WASTE, “You don’t call on Miss G. now ?” “No, we’ve quit.” “Quit? What’s the difficulty?” “Oh, her father’s too penurious.” “Too penurious? Why, he has th<j reputation of being particularly liberal.” “Perhaps he has, but ho told me the other evening I’d better leave, as he couldn’t afford to wasto shoe leather on me. It’s my private opinion that that man would skin a flea for its hide and tallow.”— Oil Oitg Blizzard. PERFECTLY WILLINO. As tho President sat down Elder Pen stock rose np. There was a yearning, anxious expression on his face, and, after clearing his throat of tucks and splinters aud scrap iron, he said: “Missnr President, in case—dat is— in eoso yon doan’ waut ” “Sit down I” "Fire him out I” “Snatch him bald-headed I” came from all parts of tho hall, accompanied by a great clat ter of foet, and the Elder was forced to hide his head. ANOTHER NAME FOR THEM. Two young ladies, one a resident of Philadelphia and tho other of Chicago, wore walking on Michigan avenue when tho Philadelphia girl remarked : “It strikes me as quite remarkable that so many of the houses in this city have bay windows attached to them.” “Yes” responded the Chicago miss; “we find them very convenient, but we do not oall them bay windows.” “No? What do you call them ?” “Foot receptacles. ” — Philadelphia Call. WHY HE WASN'T THERE NOW. Kosciusko Murphy, who is a book keeper in a grocery house, mot a friend who clerks in a cigar store on Austin avenue, and asked him for a cigar. “Ain’t got any,” said his friend. “Ain't got any?” said Kosciusko. "Why, when I used to work in a cigar store, 1 always had my pockets stuffed with cigars.” “Yes; probably that’s the reason you ain’t in a cigar store now,” was the crushing reply. -Texas Siftings. PROUD of rr. Some of tho richest men in Austin started in lifo in a modest way, and are still plain, unpretentious people, but their sons put on u great deal of style One of the latter, who was better |H>sted about other people’s affairs than about his own family’s, remarked, snceringly, to an acquaintance: “Your father was nothing but a simple stone mason.” “I know where you got that informa tion,” quietly remarked the other. “From whom did I got it?” “From your father.” “How do you know that?” “Because your father used to be my father’s hod carrier.”— Texas Siftings. SAVTNO MONEY, Mrs. B.—“ You remember, dear, that yon said last week I better attend Cash A Co.’s annual remnant sale os I might pick up a few little bargains and save something.” Mr. B.—“ Yes, and I hope you went, for my business is not prospering and we must snve where we ean.” Mrs. B.—“ Yes, I went, and you can’t guess how much I saved.” Mr. B. —“How much? A dollar?” Mrs. B.—“A dollar I I saved ten dollars 1” Mr. B.—“ Bless my stars. What have you liecn doing ?” Mrs. B.—“ Saving money just as you said. I found a fifty dollar remnant of silk just large enough for two dresseß and by taking it all I saved ten dollars. The bill will bo sent to yon to-morrow. Shall I go again and save ” But Mr. B. had fainted. Very Charitable.— A lady in one ol tho flourishing towns of Vermont had been in New York, and on her return was describing to her husband the chief features of the metropolitan life which nwl impressed themselves upon her memory. “But there was one thing,” she said, “which did me more good than anything else, because it showed the re markable growth of philanthropic ohar ,ly in our large cities. On nearly all the streets, at very frequent intervals, I saw Higns over tho doors reading, ‘Free Lunch—Free Lunch.' I could not help thinking, as I walked along, what blessed work the relief societies in Ne 4 York aro doing.”