The Summerville gazette. (Summerville, Ga.) 1874-1889, April 02, 1884, Image 1

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BLOOD TOISON! 100 Bottles of Another Blood Medi cine Used—No Belief Until B, B. B Was Ust'd Hampton, Cta.. June lUth, 1880. Blood Balm Cos :—Your R. R R. Ihh work* <1 od uie like a charm. Thro* lK>ttlew lmvc lone me more food than all doctors anti 100 oUlenof the mint hated remedy 1 . lam gdt iiiK well rapidly. All ulcers in aid uo aoliiiiK f mfbonea, no pains in i try buck, ana my kin is becoming clear. The efYeet of H. li. R. imy kidneys is won if thing wonderful. Mv friends are astonished. My family physician \vh it is tlio only medicine 1 ever used suited omv case. I would take pk asure in corn's •wilding with uny one iideresttd, ns 1 can’t m lj> Draisin k H. li. D. Indeed it is a great Blood Puritier. Give anyone my aadress whs may call for it. ' A 1' \V Address, BLOOD BAI.M 00.. Atlanta, Ga.. lir Summerville, Ga. Swfulii Cured liter Several Physician FIRM. On the 28tli day of April,. 1883. William Sea lock, 12 years of nge, presented ninwolf to Dr. Gillam, deairing to know if B. li. li. would cure him. 11. lives on Dr. L. A. Onlld'i place, near the cemetery, ami the case is well known by Dr. Guild, who has particularly noticed it. The hoy hud a foul scrofulous ulcer involv • .ug the entire elbow joint, with which he had Ih-cii ftflh-’tcd over twelve nmiiUiß. It had d< - • aftroyvdthe auncrtlciiil structure, and was fast approaching the deeper tissues. He could not I*. ml tho arm, and had stiong indications of the same ulcerous condition of tho shoulder. Two oth* i physuiaus of the city had treated the ease, hut without any perceptible chunks in his condition. He was placed upon the treatment of li. li. li , and one single lottle cured the foul ulcer and restored the fast de generating condition of the child, and ho it now enjoying the finest of health. This is a plain and nnmistaUahlo easy of w> !l defined scrofula, and recognized ns such. * :■ and with on< smgU- i ottle *if B. 11 IV. and he take pleasure in asking any iiit. vested jiarty to address Dr. L. A. Guild, Atlanta, Ga., on the huhject lsiati\u value .of tho medicino in this case. If one well defined ease of scrofula oau la> cured, others can he cured also. BLOOD BAI.M OV, Atlanta, Georgia. r IS THAT SO? Yes, it’s a fact, that otic large buttle of B. B H. costing onlv 61 is warranto 1 to produce to mu and. remedial effect in the cure of ail Blood t'ois in as throe botti.a (if tin- most fan mm blood Hiedioilies of tho day. Yea, three t one ; that's tho way we put it, and we ar>- ahli t< back our word with strong evidence. B. B. li. is the auick Wood remedy, and there is m mistake about it. The proof is printed -the fiat has gone forth—-the tocsin hi.s been souul •and, and ‘*bo that hath ears to hoar, let him hear.” F r s !e in Su •vmervflk' i*y •T S. CLI (THORN Si CO. Nerve-Life andfe, - HESSTOBJTIi. P Howard K!r(r.ii -ftogflHic Shtaid ft > tt] j.ih do. > i tY • If. if’ center* Trig jv :p A ___ , i £k#la ei * i.nlL i t OF THE / p ... iHI *fi &P 3 As3 Si -1 ‘ MUiftn ' W : f I *•. ( 'V. 3 lillf•*?: M!kWi O WA 0 , 1 r7£ loi ’• i | j ■' "7? \ 4 V * Oruars 1 Patented Teh: 80, * ** • -. vnrso from iriy irv*?- -v: " !. t nerve fore- and fail to attfln strength. MIDDLE-A4Kr> MW m *r. | ;i < a vigor, Mr I ut lug it to the progress of >tar.. The MOTHER, WIFE aud MAID, ’itT.-ntiirfr m Female. WcuituuM*, Ner 'mi# Debility andother nil dent*. will dud it the only ore .To one ami all we. ry that tins Shield gjves a nat ural "id in a natural wiv wmiorr i>rb(*(vg the sd^macti ItarrwutFd One Year, uud tin bet Uppltunec niwde. Illustrated Pamufitel. Til BEL TYPES •>F MEN | also Pamphlet f->r Ladies only, bent on reunplo U., m.u|| umealeil, FREE. American Gah/anic ftc, OFFICE | Iltl3 ClMfitllfit M.'. SSWBKBSBTV. fetiiaEßHaßKWHf S' Ouly a Small Ball, A good many people, withont really feeling any special animosity to boys, like to sec their exuberance meet a check, now ami then. Such persons would have achieved some measuro of satisfac tion a few days ago, if they had ob served an incident that occurred on one i of the streets on tho Back Bay. A purty of girls, each about a dozen years of age, were proceeding quietly home from school, when one of a group of boys, of aliout the same age, “fired" a snowball from the opposite side of the street, and struck a member of the first party pinmply in the ear. His merriment at the accomplishment of this feat was vio lentbut short lived, for the girl who had | been smitten by the missile handed her books to a companion, and came flying over the street after him with eyes | aflame The boy, perceiving this per sonified vengeance lienring down upon ■ him, incontinently tied, tmt, being in- ; cumbered by robber boots, he was soon overhauled and captured. A vigorous “wrastle” at once ensued, and shortly the youth, although using his best en deavors, found himHolf Upon his back, with snow in his ears aud down his ; neck, and his face tingling from sevetal vigorous slaps. As soon as he was al lowed to get np he rushed upon the girl in a rage, Vint was deftly caught by the leg, and again upset and treated to an- ' outlier done of the same medicine. This | time he was content to accept the sitna tion, whereupon his punisher walked ; calmly away, without having started her pulse ii single I •eat by the excitement of the mcidon on Journal A Western Tarn.—Col. E. G. Cooper has told the Denver News a hairbreadth j escape he had from death in the jaws of a Colorado mountain lion. He was skating on a lake near his gofd mine, and the lion sprang for him. There was a chase for some miles, the colonel occa sionally getting the beet of the lion by j making a suddea curve. At length one skate liegan to loosen, and he felt that the supreme moment was at hand. He had heard that music might soothe a brute, and lie began to sing; but this en * raged the lieu, and, bethinking himself of a rival newspaper he had in his .. -pocketybe .drew it forth and read the lion to sleep, £l)c (Dinette. VOL. XI. JiOSK OF KILL ABNEY. | Oh ! fair are vour daughters by Bhaunon'a blue wfttom, And lovely tho maidens of Clare and Clon mel ; And look tho world over, Ton’ll fail to discover Such colleens to lovu as in old Erin dwell; | Yet there's none on the island, in lowland or highland, From the toft-bosomed lakes to tho wild ocean shore, Who praises could share with, or half way com pare with, Dark Nora, my roso of Killarney, asthore! Ah, Nor ah's the beauty to love’s more than duty, in the glance of her eye there’s a charm and a spell, And her voice, like the linnet, has love’s mean* ing in it, And ringa through my heart like a mnnien bell. Oh, to woo and to win her would turn saint to sinner ; Her beauty oompels you to kneel and adore, But with sighing and suing in vain you come wooing Dark Nora, my rose of Killarney, asthore ! You hear me entreating with 1. > wildly beat • ing, You know bow I love you, and sail feign surprise ! I fear you’re deceiving, with glances still wcav mg Those snares for mv life in your beautifu eyes. But no! your lids glisten with tears as you listen, Oh, fly to my bosom and leave mo no more ! 1 I’ve but this to give yon, love, a heart fond and true, love; Dark Nora, my rose of Killarney, asthore ! ADoubleMlsiiiHltTKlaiHling One iluy iu hint December Mr. Hamit | car Thnrnlove found his bootn soaked through, and taking them off in bis store, lie flung them down to dry. It was an ; act of trilling importance to any but a i very discerning mind. Yet it was \ fraught with dire consequences to Mr. i Thornlovo. But wlmt ooulil he know of i the future, poor soul? “What poor soles they make now-a days l" he murmured. “I will put on my slippers and step into my neighbor Jnstout. and see if he can’t settle his account to day." He was a mau of his word and did so. While he was gone, in came his friend, Paul Hobbleden, aud asked where Thornlovo was. no was tolil to wait ft few minutes, and while he was waiting, as he was only an old bachelor, accustomed to look only after his own health—he drew off his boots, toasted his toes for half an hour, aud then, an gry at waiting so long, hastily shod hiu - self, and wont away grumbling. Thornlovo soon after returned, also cross. Justout was not iu, and now ho heard that Hobbleden was gone out. This made him doubly peevish. "Hobbleden gone I I wish ho would stay gone. That mau bannts me three times a week at the house and as often hero. I have known Hobbleden ever since before I was married, and he knew Ophelia before 1 married her 1 Perhaps that’s why he never got married. Might tie. HtiekH to me like a barnacle. Af ter me so often and nothing particular to say. Perhaps he comes to see if lam here, that he can go to soo Mrs. Thorn love. I’ll watch Hobbleden 1 How the snow stretches boots I" He drew them on. When Thorniove went home that even ing he felt ugly aud tantalizing. Ho hart caught cold from going in his slip pers. Ophelia played a pathetic air on the piano and sang to soothe him. “Don’t do that, Ophelia. Oh, don't Pd rather hear a funeral sermon." “Thought you liked sentiment.” “Hate it." “Shall I sing something funny ?” “No, you think more of fingering that old music-trap than you do of me." “What shall l say?” “Anything—or nothing would suit, me better,” he growled. “Pm bound to have a row !’’ he reflected. “You’re as odd as auy old bachelor !’’ j “Don’t yon like’em ?” said he. “Hoi/- j bleden is one of them.” “But he’s an old friend of ours. ” “Of ours?” emphasized Tliornlovc. “I should think so. He’s here enough.” j “I suppose the poor man don't know j where to go,” said Ophelia, sympa thetically. “I should think he did know where to go—he goes here, that is to say, he comes here, as regularly as an old owl to its roost. ” “It can’t be that you’re jealous of Paul Hobbleden, can it?—u man that you've known for so many years ?” said she, curiously. “No, it can’t,” replied he; and then thought. “Ah 1 she’s trying to pump ' me, but she won’t” “I have to he pleasant when he comes; mustn’t be inhospitable, must I?” “Of course not. Oh, of course not. He’s something of a bore, though.” “So are all old bachelors. I wouldn’t give you for a hundred of him. Ha, ha ! Old Hobbleden !” “She's laughing at my simplicity. ; Thinks I don’t know it. I’ll keep my eyes open, night and day.” Paul Hobbleden returned to Thorn love’s store in about a week. Tbis time i limping. “A confounded com kept me away so i long. ” “Shouldn’t wear tight hoots; When a man gets to he dandified it’s a Hign he is in love. Who’s to be the happy Mrs, ! Hobbleden i” SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, APRIL *2, 1884. “Don’t joke.” "Don’t wear tight lioots.” “Don't yon know any remedy for a corn ?" “Out your too off?” “You are inhuman 1” “Any old baohelor who is dandy enough to wear tight boots ought to have Dorns all over him.” “Had—hail he? Good morning!” ■tied Hobbleden, exasperated. "I'll see f I can’t find sympathy somewhere slse.” Aud away he went. “God liless tho oorn I” thought Thorn ovo. “Why don’t Mr. Hobbleden come to see us, I wonder ?” that evening said Ophelia to Mr. Thornlovo. "1 declare it seems lonesome without him.” “You’ll have a chance to keep feeling lonesome for some time to come. Ido not think lie’ll ever darken these doors again." “Yon don’t rneau he’s dead?” “Not quite, my love; he was lively enough this morning; ho was corned, Ha, ha I” “Intoxicated? Poor fellow ! Lonely, I suppose.” “Poor fellow! That’s pretty well. If I had boon drunk it would liavo been horrid monster. He wasn’t intoxicated, lmt hud a corn on ouo of his dear toes. I joked about it, but ho went off in n rage." “Ho is very sensitive; corns are pain ful. I’m sorry.” “I’m glad. It will Vie oompany for him, now that he don’t see you.” “You make yourself so disagree able 1 ” “So is be. Uncomfortable to him self, too. Wears tight Iniots to mako liis feet look small.” “That was needless; 1 always noticed bo had very small feet.” “No smaller than mine,” suid Tliorn love, elevating a foot. He prided him self on his small feet. “Ilia arc two sizes smaller, at the very least,” said Mrs. Thorniove, re vengefully. "Yes, nearly yours are like horse-ears compared with his!” “This is unbearable!” he exclaimed. “Always pitying and praising ITobhle den, always neglecting and sneering at me!” “And you are eternally hinting ” “Don’t tnlli to me!” “Nor will I; hope you’ll have a nice, sweet, quiet night’s rest, after all this!” And hlio hurried tearfully to her chain her. "I reciprocate just what you mean,” he bawled after her, aud went scowling to his private couch. Mrs. Ophelia Thornlovo did not ap pear at the breakfast table next day. Frederick musts! gloomily over his lonely coffee. “I was foolish, very, such a fuss about my feet." He held them up and frowned at them. “Now that I take a partial view, they are really none of the smallest! Besides, the right trotter-case looks longer than the other. If I hadn’t bought, ’em, shouldn’t sup pose they were mates. He pulled his pants up. “By ginger! they aro not mates! One’s shorter than t’other. And I hope to lie happy,’-’ ho added, with increased earnestmisK, as he exam ined tho leg of one, “if here isn't tho name of Paul Hobbleden! This is a discovery! Oh, powers of darkness, who bring so much to light! How disw It happen that Hobbleden’s boot is on my leg ? Is the thing called Hobbleden a man or u monster ? Or am Ia lunatic, and this name, Hobbleden, no name at at all ? J t is not my boot. How could it come hero unless Hobbleden walked in with it? But now—now —” and he struck lilh eye softly with liiH frenzied fist—“now, I have it! Hobbleden’s boot has betrayed him. The fiend in mortal shape must have been in this house last night! Oh—Ophelia!" He rang the bell and his servant, Babble, canto. "Babble, take care now what you say don’t tie alarmed though I believe I have always treated you as a father would a brother—l mean as a brother would his son—darn it, you know what I mean—answer me truly; was or was not Paul Hobbleden, my particular friend, in this house last night? Take care I” “No, sir ; he hasn’t been for a long timo.” “Was he here for a short timo?” “No sir, not at all.” “Babble, that’s a lie. Did you black these boots this morning?” “I did, sir.” “Did yon black my others ?” “No sir, I did not, sir. No sir. “Look at that leg.” “Paul Hobbleden,” said Babble, reading. “Precisely, And of course that boot belongs to him. Now, how could it be here unless he was ?” Babble swore that if Hobbleden had been in the house, somebody else must have let him in, after he, Babble, had gone to bed. “Babble, you may go—that is, you may stay, in my employ. But mind you, don’t say anything of this to my wife—or I’ll discharge you." Babble turned pale and faded out of sight. Mr. Frederick Thnrnlove was very solemn for several sullen, watchful days. One day he came home and found Ophelia painting a watch-case. At first she tried to hide it. Then she said it was intended as a surprise for him. With a ghastly smile—he said he know that 1 The horrible oorn gave Paul Hobble den snob dreadful pain that finally ho repaired to Mr. Chiropedowski, the great oorn-dootor aud Polish exile. Ho gouged it out for him, with heroic lack of emotion. “But these little trifles sprout again, don't they ?” said Hobbleden, handing the count a greenback with a saw-horse on it, emblematic of the cross he had borne. “You must wear boots that fit,” said the chiropodist. “Were those made for you ?" “Of course I or they wouldn’t lmvo pained me 1" said Hobbleden, sarcasti cally. “One wouldn’t.” “Your feet are not of the equal size— eli?” “More likely tho boot,” oomparing them. “They bees not mlttes,” said the sur geon. “True 1" exclaimed Hobbleden. “Never noticed it boforo. Blamed the snow for it; but they looked like mates when I bought them. I’ll go and blow up tho shoemaker, to make sure.” At tho shoemaker's he had a ferocious controversy, but was at last persuaded he must have changed the boots since tho purchase especially as ho now rec ollected he did take off his boots in Thornlove'tj warehouse one wet day. "Must have taken Thomlovo’s lioot— feet are small like mine. But there ib a pair of breeches between mo and my un feeling friend, and I soorn io call and ask him for my property. Lot me see. Host thing for me to do, without, being humilated, is to wait till jThornlovo gets to bed, and then go and ask Babble to go up and change the boots,” That very night with mingled thoughts of wife-murder aud suieido, subsided among the surging feathers of his soli tary bed, tho jealous Frederick Tliorn love. If to die woro but to sleep no lesa comfortably, he would gladly have taken in his arms a sea of feathers, aud by re posing ended himself. He addressed himself to sleep, but she refused to em brace so vindictive a person. Wakeful, therefore, near mi dnight he heard some body opening his chamber door. “ Can it be the brazen, false Ophelia ? No; it is a heavier weight. Blessed if it isn’t Babble, actually coming in here. Is that you, Babble?” “Yes, sir,” faltered Babble. “Thought I'd shine your hoots to-night, instead of iu the morning.” “Take ’em. Don’t come up again.” “No, sir.” And tho servant joyfully hurried down with them to the kitchen. “I'll bet a bale of greenbacks that Hobbleden is in the house and has brilied him to get that boot, I thought that man would be coming, finally, and now I'll overwhelm him I” Thorniove went down in his stockings, and listened at, the partly open kitchen door. Hobbleden was really there. “That’s a mischief making article!” said Babble to Hobbleden, who was drawing it on. “I came near losing my place on account of it; Mr. Thorniove saw your name in it one morning, and thought you came to the house secretly ) and that I knew it. Ho suspected that I had shined your hoots and his together, and had blundered when returning them. Separate apartments for him and her, this long time, you see.” “Good gracious I" whispered Hobble den in a cold sweat of horror; “could he suppose so ?” “But now that you have been telling me how you took off your lioots one wet day in his store, it is all explained, and I’ll ease his jealous mind to-morrow.” “I have awaked from a horrid dream, at, last I” joyfully reflected Thorniove, at this unexpected disclosure; “I’ll mako amends at onco. Gome to my bosom, my dear old Hobbleden 1” he cried aloud, rushing into the kitchen in his gown aud stockings; “I have been long bewildered by a false dream, but now I know the naked truth, all things are on a proper footing, and everything is as it should lie.” Hobbleden did not reject the affection ate salutation of Mh old friend, who, after a further revelation of their mutual sufferings, insisted upon sharing his couch with him that night. They slept serenely and when they met Mrs. Thorniove at breakfast, in the morn ing the only point upon which they dis agreed was, that they denounced while she blessed the boots which had exorcised from her household the groeu-eyed mon ster forever 1 Bed Flags of Attraction. A newspaper agent called upon Mr. Closetist the other day in a business way. “Oh, I don't want to advertise,” said Mr. Closefist. “I have a regnlar run of customers, and strangers are attracted by my red flag on top of my honso.” “All right,” said tho agent. “Just continue doing business that way and some of these days people will see a red flag in front of your house, but they won’t Vie attracted by it. They will be alt,racted by tho bell that the town crier is ringing as ho walks np and down before your store.” That agent was something of a phi iosoplier. THE LONDON SENSATION. A HUIII.ir NC AM l)A I. IN HIGH I.IIIC —ill IMS POIiTENCUIC’M SUIT. Tlio Fiiiiioiin II rear Ii f Promise Cane Analutit Lot'll Gtiruioyle. Miss Fortesene’s action against Lord Gurmoyle, In London, is rapidly as suming the dimensions of a public scandal. Tho Loudon World sin's (lmt the conduct of Lord aud Lady Cairns has been base, treacherous and nuohrls tian. They deceived the girl into thinking herself accepted. They fooled her with false hopes. Then, when the rupture came, Lord Cairns suggested £2,000. His lawyer induced him to consent to £5,000. Beyond this ho would not go. Society is waiting anxiously for the trial. Lord and Lady Cairns will enter tho wit uoss box. Lord Garmoyle’s letters to his “blue-eyed darliug” will bo read. Public opinion regards him with con tempt. Ho has gone abroad. His name has been withdrawn from the books of clubs. Tho suit iH for £50,000. Miss Fortescue was a pretty and popular young actress, with a personal reputation that scaudal has never as sailed, when she attracted tho attention and won the heart of young Viscount Gnrmoylo, tho eldest sou aud heir of Earl Cairns. The course of true love did not run smooth at flrst,, hut in a little time it was announced that Lord CuiriiH had consented to the match, and early last summer tho formal betrothal ot the young couple was announced. Miss Fortescue left the stage as a preliminary to the marriage, which waa to lake place as soon as Lord Garmoyle had finished his education. Siuce the engagement was in ad e knowu the lovers have fre quently been seen in public together. A fow weeks ago a rumor that the match was ofl was started, but as Lord Gar moyle and Miss Fortescue subsequently attended together a performance by Miss Mary Anderson the report was set down to envy. That Lord Cairns would be entirely satisfied with the alliance was hardly to bo expected. Sinoo tho retirement of tho Earl of Shaftesbury by reason of old ago Lord Cairns has been the recognized loader of the evangelical party. It is not likely that either he or his wife, who is a daughter of tho late John MoNeile, a wealthy Belfast banker, and niece of the Bov. Hugh McNeile, the celebrated evangelical preacher of Liverpool, lias ever been inside a theatre. Their coun try planes of Lindisfarne, near Bourne mouth, and Milden, iu Scotland, nre seldom visited by even the leading mem bers of tho Earl's own party, in eouse qnencejof the soverity of tlio praying there, and he lias regularly presided over tlio meetings of the Society for tho Propagation of tho Gospel iu Foreign Parts. His eldest daughter, too, is mar ried to the Itev. Neville Sherbrook, a London preacher. The youtlis of his family took a different view of things and have histrionic tastes, which have found active expression. A Dive Story. A romance of A. T. Stewart’s life is told by the New York correspondent of the Pittsburg J)inpalnh, About sixty years ago Cornelia Clinch was one of the prettiest girls in New York. Her father was a rich ship chandler who lived in a big house in the fashionable quarter. lie was a self-made man and thought every man ought to be the architect of Ih'h owu fortuue. So he frowned away every wealthy young fop wiio came to woo Cor nelia, and sent her regularly to school to learn to be a sensible, useful woman. Old Clinch attended St,. Mark's Church, and one Sunday young Stewart saw the daughter there. He fell in love with her and became a regular attendant at tlio church. He got acquainted with Cornelia, and as he was poor but indus trious, the old man smiled upon him and invited him to call and take dinner with them. After awhile Stewart asked Cor nelia a very interesting question, and she, like a good girl, blushed aud said : “Y-e-e-s —if papa says so. ” Then Stewart visited old Clinch, and ho said : “Want to marry Nelly, eh? Think she’s got a rich father, eh? And you’d likotocome in for a share of his earnings, oh ?” “No, sir; yon needn’t leave her or me a cent, I’ll soon be richer than you anyway.” “Yon will, will you? Weil, I like that. Go ahead and take her then, and Heaven bless you both.” So the young folks, who were tremendously in love with each other, were married and wont to live in a modest little cottage on Reodo street, and were glad to lie able to cover the floors with rag carpet. There, it is said, they lived an ideally happy life. Stopped It. —In announcing the dis continuance of its morning edition, after one mouth’s trial, the Baltimore Day says: “We have acquired a circulation of about, 4,000, and there is every indi cation that in the course of a year wo might increase this to 8,000 or 10,000 ; hutmeanwhile we should have sunk 880,- 000 or SIOO,OOO, and still have a paper which must for several years ho run at a loss, while our people were awakening to the fact of its existence, and concluding to give it their advertising patronage. In the matter of advertising, we have prac tically received no encouragement what ever.” The evening edition is still pros perous, NO. 11. LOUIIS MHO LIKE OUR I AM). gimllli Noblemen ft lin nre Deeply liiler. rnli’il iii Amelienu AgiTeuUilral Itenl ICntute. The largest owner of Inndjfbought in recent years iu this country is Sir Ed ward James lleed, M. P. for Cardiff, Wales. He has purchased in the last, ten years 2,000,000 acres of well soU cted cattle-grazing hind in Montana and Da kota. Sir Edward Reed is practical man aud the founder of his own fortune, which ho got out of the iron and coal mines of his native Wales and the till mines of Cornwall. His investments in this country directed many others to our public domain who had great confidence in his sagacity. Next, in consoquence is the purchase last year of 1,800,000 acres, consisting mostly of pine hind in the State of Mississippi, though included in this holding nre 400,000 acres of the finest agricultural land ou the continent, lying on tho Yazoo river bottoms. This magnificent property belongs to the firm of Philips, Marshal k Cos., wealthy oorn factors of Mark Lane, London, who aro also tho largest dealers in American wheat and other grains in England. Next iu consequence comes tho Grant estate, which includes an entire county in Kansas, and lias within its bounds 350,000 acres. This probably is the most desirable landed estate held by a single owner iu America, as the land is rich, well watered, and settled mostly by emigration farmers from England aud Scotland. Alexander Grant, the owner, has laid off’ all his lands into farms, built about 400 good farm-houses, each with the necessary out-buildings, aud is conducting the estate just ns though it was north of the Cheviots instead of America. The Duke of Portland owns about 500,000 acres, part of which is on the North Platte iu Nebraska and part in Colorado. Not much of it is yet iu cul tivation. Lord Stafford owns 100,000 acres on the line of the Northern Pacific railroad, and he is gradually colonizing it and getting it into field cultivation. Lord Dunraveu is the pioneer of the English nobility in American land-own ing. He bought the well-known prop erty iu Colorado called by him Dunraveu Park in 1808, and at government prices. Dunraveu Park contains aliout 100,000 acres. The first purchase was 00,000, and subsequently 40,000 acres more were added. It is one of the best cattle ranches in America, being a lovely val ley, full of pure streams fed by moun tain springs, rich in tho best cattle growing grass known, and the whole property is feuoed iu by mountain ranges. It is now easily worth SI,OOO, 000, but Lord Dunraveu refuses to sell it at any price. Lord Dunmore owns 10,000 acres not far from Dunraveu, and very much the same character of land, which is rapidly improving. The Duke of Beaufort is one of the four owners of 400,000 seres recently bought by En glish gentlemen in the Fan-Handle of Texas, aud Sir John Roe-Reed is another of them, the others of interest being two rich bankers' sons. There are many other Englishmen who have from 1,000 to 2,000 acres in Colorado, Texas, Da kota and New Mexico. No Changing Works There. You never had a chum, did you ? asked the bad boy of the grocery man. If you ever had a chum that you loved, that had stood by you in all kinds ol weather, who would work his finger nails off for you, and go without eating and sleeping to mako you happy, you could uever talk that way. My dram is just, as tender as a woman, though ho was strong as a giant, afore tho rhenmatiz struck him, and now he is ns weak as a little tiny baby, and wo have to handle him just as though ho was eggs. Every hone, and muscle, and drop of blood, aud piece of skin aliout, his body is just like ma’s neuralgia, and sometimes they all ache at once, and thou they take turns ach ing, and my chum lays there and takes it as calmly as though he was at a pic nic, and never grumbles. He smiles his great big old-fashioned smile when he sees mo looking over the foot-board of his bed, and when I go up and put my hand on his face, and wipe tho perspira tion off his forehead, the tears come roll ing down his cheeks, and he tries to raise liis helpless hand to shake mine, lint ho can’t, and ho says, “Hollo, old pard,” aud then he shuts his eyes and the rhematiz commences whore it loft off and goes to grinding him up again. Gosh, if I could pull off my shirt anil things and get into his bed and take his place, and let the rhenmatiz get in its work on me for a day, while my chum might go out and slide down hill or kick over a few barrels, and feel bully for awhile, I would enjoy it. But yon can’t change works with a fellow that has got rhenmatiz.— Peck’s Fun. Some colloge boys after dark took an entire load of wood from a farmer’s sled, left in the street over uight, and with great labor piled it up in a citizen’s woodshed under the impression that he'd lie charged with stealing it. They now find that he had bought the wood and they havo saved tho farmer so much work, and they want to find out who sug gested the joke and how much tho farm er paid him. This is leap year. It seems as though all the years are leap years, as they jump by so rapidly. QUAKER CITY JOKES. A FEW TIIINOM AtTIDENTAIiTiY OVEB-l lII'.AUII lV TIIK PHII.AUBL.PUIA “JiVKNINIi CA1.1.” IIUMOUMT. WESTERN RAILROAD SYSTEM. First Western Railroad Mau—“l soe it stated that a commissioner Ims been sent over by tho Bussian government, aud Is coming West to study our railroad system." Second Wostern Railroad Man—‘‘Yes; but I don’t sec why the Russian govern ment should goto all that trouble.” First Railroad Man—“ You don’t?” Second Railroad Mau —“Certainly not; our system could havo been ex plained to tho Russian government by any Western mau who happened to bo over there.” First Railroad Man—“ That’s true; I did not think of that. It could be dono with a paper and pencil by just ranking dots to represent towns and lines to rep resent the roads, same as on a map.” Second Railroad Man—“Exaotly, and writing under it: Cut-throat rates be tween competing points must be made up by big charges on local traffic.’’ RESTORING TUETB CONFIDENCE. .Tolies—“Lend me tivo dollars?” Smith—" Can’t do it. Just paid out my last five dollars for a big advertise ment of property stolen.” Jones—“ Stolen property?” Smith —“Yes. I offered SB,OOO re ward for information that would lead to tho conviction of the thieves who en tered my house and stole a lot of jewelry and other valuables', including a $25,000 diamond necklace. ’’ ■Tones—"Sec here, I happen to know that you never owned S2OO worth of jewelry in your life.” Smith—“ Hist,! My creditors don't know it. 1 want to restore their con fidence.” THEIR VALUE APPRECIATED, Mrs. A.—“ You will have to get Johnny anew high chair, dear.” Mr. A.—“ What is tho matter with the old one ?” Mm. A.—“lt is broken in such a way that it can’t ho mended. lam sorry about it, because such chairs are high in price, but Johnny must have something to sit on, and we can't let him use tho dictionary or the family Bible.” Mr. A. —“Certainly not; no need to. T will write to my friend, the Senator, aud got him to semi me some public documents at once.” A GREAT DIFFERENCE. “Yon say that Mr. Smith gave you twenty dollars for officiating at his wed ding, and Mr. Brown only gave yon two dollars ?” said the wife of a clergyman to her husband. “Yes,” he replied. “That seems very strange,” continued the lady; “Mr. Smith is a clerk on a small salary, while Mr. Brown, I have always understood, is a very wealthy man. ” “He is, my dear, but this is the second time Mr. Brown has boen mar ried.” FAMILY PRIDE. Little Nell—“ Your family ain’t half so stylish as ours. ” Little Maud—“l’d just liko to know why it ’taint.” Little Nell—“ ’Tause we've dot an old family ghost, an’ dey is awful stylish.” Little Maud—“l’ooli ! That ain’t nothing. We’ve got something more stylish than that. I heard mamma talk to papa about it.” Little Nell—“ What is it?” Little Maud—“A skeleton in the closet. ” WAITER OF HEALTH. Mrs. D.—“ Who would have thought it?" Mr. D.—Thought what ?” Mrs. D.—“ln this article on ‘Health’ the writer says it is far wiser to sleep till one wakens naturally.” Mr. D.—“Oh ! I know that long ago.” Mrs. D.—“ You never told me.” Mr. D. —“Your memory is very short. Haven’t I told you hundreds of times to let mo sleep uutil the fires are fixed, the children dressed, and breakfast ready to put on the table?” His NAME. Circus Manager—“ Well, everything is ready now for getting up next season’s posters and handbills, except your name.” Elephant Keeper—“My name ?” Circus Manager—“ Yes, you have not given that to me yet.” Elephant Keeper—“ You know very well that it is Don Ciesar De Noronni.” Circus Manager—“Oh ! that will never do. That was your name last year, and you remember, you were killed by th elenlmuts last fall at St. Louis.” NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING. “Prisoner, you stand charged with murder in the first degree. Are you guilty or not guilty ?” “I killed the man, your Honor, but—” “I asked you are you guilty or not guilty of tho charge preferred ?” “Let me explain. As I said, I killed the man; but I committed the deed while 1 was temporarily insane.” “Oh, that puts tho affair in a differ ent light I You are discharged, sir.” France and Egypt.— France’s propo sition, made through M. Waddington, to land troops at Suakim and march them to Khartoum to relieve that city, leav ing the ultimate settlement of the Sou dan question to a conference of the Powers, is a generous and magnificent offer, but hardly helps England out of her scrape, as it contemplates the sub mission of the whole subject of domin ion in Egypt to the judgment of Europe. This time France strikes while the iron, is hot. Herald. “I will accept anything else in poli-s lies as a necessity, but save me from a) post office fight in a smalltown,” claims a Congressman. “They surpass) earthquakes and cyclones,”