Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

Jmmm Mia snuifactory. Puriflea the Blood from Infancy to old On© bottle proves Its superiority. Hereditary Taint and Scrofu lous symptoms cured. Itching Humor* and Glandular Bwelliugs relieved. All bad still BUM IflTI |||n Cut*# Chronic Skin mm of the skin affecting old and young. Re duces Scrofulous. <k Glandular Swellings. Tumors. Ovarian Tumor*,Enlarged Glands, etc. Cures Catarrh,Ozvena. Hipjusease, old asOLOIO BALM Bf) TI lim Cow* nil Mari'* of Ml n HI I I **y|'hllisancl '•M'hi s, I [I 111 I I lltiV troubles. I ure I U IS I I ■oM eftsea of I,'veart.’ : : { j ( E " 1 I I iatandlng. Primary w I 111 * I ore a, Secondary ' leer, and tertiary disease of the bones and internal organs cured. Special and speedv relief to females siifferlny from painful, .oppressed and prolonged menstruation, or uhn tiro prostrated from long siekuess. 11 purifier,lk n. n odt tie eures some t tutes. Kctul for pamphlet of horns t un’s. At all Drug Stores. One bottle, sl. ItLOOH BALM t’OMBANY, Atlatita, Cia t\ r a do in Hiimiuerrtlle tty •1 S. GLI GIIOKN A CO. Cuba’s Crisis. Cuba is by nature a land of such mag nificent possibilities that it is impossible lo view without deep sympathy the ••fleets of the commercial panic which is now running what few Cuban merchants Spain lias not already taxed into bank ruptcy. The jteople of tho United Hlatcs have always to an extent aided and abetted Cuba in Iter endeavors to free herself from Spanish bondage. Lopez, most gallant among Cnban pa triots, drew a force of 600 men from tho United States ill 1848; and so great was American sympathy for Cuba that in this s into year President. Polk made Spain an otTer of 81.000,000 for the island. Ten years litter the Senate discussed tho ad visability of raising the offer to $30,000,- 000. The policy of seeking additional territory in the south is not received with favor in this country; and no thought of annexation is now Boriously entertained in any quarter. Meantime the Cubans have kept their country in a constant state of reltellion so that Spain in eight years sent 1 45,000 soldiers to subdue the island, and yet have been unable to es tablish her control. All this timo the island has been compelled to see her trade decrease, her manufactures de cline, her crops neglected and her peo ple deserting to this country and to South America. Cuba is one of the few remain ing countries which are, loaded down with national taxation for the support of a government other than her own. The dominions of Spain, Portngal and Tur key are about on a par for werkness of government, burdensome taxation ami the destruction of all native enterprise. The question is, how long will these bar rier nations lie allowed to stand in the pul It of the advancement of their colo *)]■, ?—Detroit Times. The English In Egypt. The prestige that once surrounded tho European in Upper Egypt, and was worth more to us than fifty thousand bayonets, is departed, says an English magazine. Tito burning of Alexandria, the t.'iuporary triumph of Arabi, the be lief that our fleet and army were de stroyed by liim, and that the Ivhedivo end not England was bis eonqneror; finally, the conviction that the defeats in the Soudan were suffered by •the English and not by the Egyptians, have nil combined to shatter it, and it will be very long before it can again be restored. Not that the European in Upper Egypt is exposed to any danger so long as tilings remain quiet in Lower Egypt. The respect due to the hope of bakshish is as strong ns ever, and the fellah is too cowardly to start any move ment in which ho is not quite sure of In ing backed by superior force. More over, tho educated part of the popula tion, which knows the real state of affairs, is naturally concerned to maintain order; .virile tho “Copts” have discovered that their own safety and interests are inti mately bound up with those of the Europeans. JSut the most unobservant traveler cannot but notice a certain in solence in the bearing of the natives tee ward him which would liavo been im !>ossible only two years ngo. It is noth, iug in itself; as a symptom, however, il is dangerous Clilldmi Planting Tiers Friday, April 18, was Tree Planting 1 >,iy in New Jer viy, 111 Newark, School SSii(M rintendont Barringer directed the principals of the public schools to speiid the last hour of the afternoon session in bringing forest tree planting to the at tention of the pupils. He suggested that Gov. Abbett's proclamation on the subject be read, and that the children take part in planting one or more trees in the school-yards, or in the street be fore the school buildings. At nearly every school a tree was planted, and at several schools*there were special exercises. At the Eight eenth avenue school an oak was planted in the yard. The scholars and many of their parents assembled in the yard and listened to addresses by the Rev. I)r. J. 1L Mclivaine, the Rev. Edward Rankin, E. E. Coe, Oskar von Joeden, and E. 8. Black, to a fecitation by Principal Schulte, and to music by a band. The pupils sang appropriate sougH. A tree was planted at the Burnett slreet schools and two in the yard of the Brower Industrial School. In Verona forty trees were set out in the school jrari @!)C <sniitmmrillc CS&iycttc. VOL XL DR A II’.V MASK. I llte pnsslcnnte grief beside the dying bod; 'ilio passionate longing fur tho vanishes bliss; | Tho passionate yearning for tho glory flod; Of each wo ask, "Can life bear worse that this ?” Aye—answer weary lips and tired eves. To v ioloiit sorrows sol.er Nature grants; Worse than the world's supromest agonies Are alt its empty blanks its hopeless wants When vivid lightnings llamo and thunden etasli, When tho tiereo winds lash the fierce sea t( storm, Wo see tho beoeons by tho lurid flash, The tossing spray-eland* glittering rainliowi form; Blit when below the sullen drip of rain T he waters suit along tho hollow shore, Tin laird to think tho sun can shine again, The dull waves gleam to living light ouci more. When time saps slowly strength and liopi away, And the black gulf yawns by the lonely path. When tho dumb night creeps on tho empty day, And the one clew of tell is hold by death, Itook not to fatted joy or lingering love To wake tho powers youth and faith hat. given; Take patiently the lot wo nil must prove, Till the great ,bar swings back anil shown m —heaven. A- Doctor’s I3oy. nr edmund lions. Tears flew over both of our heads be fore I called him by any other name than the Doctor’s Boy. Tho village knew that he was a foundling, because he had beeu left at the door of old Dr. Hart's house one cold Christmas-eve, but it was divided in opinion as to whether ho was a bad boy or a good one. Some thought he was tho latter, some the former. I was perfectly satisfied that ho was a wretchedly iniquitous youth, and I told him so. Ho burst into tears, and said I would change my opinion of him some day. But at first he certainly gave mo no reason to do so. He (Compounded for me a doso once to cure n headache (for Dr. nart was not uivve keeping drugs and making up his bwn prescriptions) that brought me to death’s door, and the old doctor was put to his wits’ end to cure me. But the Boy went to my mother and told her that it was his fixed intention to become a great doctor and chemist, and I had given him his first opportunity to test his knowledge of medicine. He hail given me the wrong drug, he acknowledged; hut it was all in tho interest of science, and he promised never to do so any more. So my mother forgave him, and persuaded Dr. Hart to retain him in his Hervico. It certainly was not on account of the Boy's good looks that hiß first misad venture resulted harmlessly to him. He was an angular Boy. He was a red haired Boy. He was a freckled Boy. But he was a frank Boy fat least my mother snid so), and for two years more he was allowed to go about tho village distributing the doctor’s nostrums, and making himself, as I thought, very ob jectionable. Dr. Hart had no particular liking for the Boy. He snid the Boy was a Christ mas gift, and, like all such presents, called for something in return. Thus he had boon obliged to board and clothe the lad for seventeen years, and he al ways protested that he wns not worth the ontlay. Still, those who know the doctor best were well assured of the fact that if the Boy had not earned his board, clothing, and lodging ho would not have received them. He was called, in later years, Ebenezer Dorking, though what right he had to that name nobody in the village knew. At last the Doctor's Boy disappeared. He stole quietly away in the night-time, leaving not a line of writing behind him to say where he had gone; so Mrs. Hart suggested that he had robbed the till in the drug-store. A search was at once made, nnd the fact was developed that not only had no money been taken from tho drawer, but that anew crisp five dollar bill had beeu added to its con tents ! There seemed to he no doubt that the Doctor’s Boy had placed it there, and tho matter was a nine days' wonder for (he village. Then the doctor hired another boy, who interested no body, and ho was noon discharged. I suppose it was due to the subject matter of conversation furnished by the Boy’H departure that I found myseli more frequently than before in the doc tor’s sitting-room. Agues Hart was a beautiful girl, about sixteen years oi age, and she langbed so merrily at my tales of the eccentricities of the Boy that] am afraid I exaggerated them a little; but by degrees the recollection of the fugi tive teemed to pasß out of our lives, and when, four years later, a torrent of war swept over the country, I was not think ing of the Doctor’s Boy when I took Agnes Hart's hand to say good-by before going to the front; but I was thinkiDg very tenderly oi Agnes herself, and I believe she was thinking in much the same strain.of mo. A hundred times during the past two years I had been on the verge of asking her the momentous question, but had decided to wait until my position in the world was better as sured. And now that the country in her extremity was calling fur the brat set vices of her sons, would it have been fair to ask a simple girl to bind herself, even by an engagement, to one who might never return to claim her pledge ? SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, MAY 28, 1884. I thought not; but as I watched her face when we were parting, nnd imagined I Baw what I longed for written there, I determined to ask Iter to be my wife when tho war was over. OI), the wretched years of. strife that followed 1 I thought they would nevor end. But at last the closing scenes had come, and the good fortune that had followed me through a score of engage ments, bearing mo nnharmed while others went down by thousands, forsook me in a measure at lost. I was hit by a spent ball on tho knee, and a moment afterward ridden over by the charging cavalry. "Your case is not a very serious one,” said the doctor, ns ho bent over me while I lay that night on a blanket on tho field, where the hospital touts had not yet been erected. “There are others hero more in need of my services—this ltoy beside yon, for instance; I must at tend to him. He seems to bo badly hurt, Let me examine you, my lad.” "Ob, there is not much tho matter with mo, sir,” said tho lad. "I was hit in the side at the last fire; but it is only a trifling wound. You see, I was a doc tor’s boy before I joiued the army, mul I know something about such things.” "Indeed 1" said the doctor, smiling, "Well, we ought to be good Irionds. J was a doctor's boy myself before I be came a doctor. But let me look at your wound. Phew 1 this is no trifle. Tho sooner we get you under cover the bet ter. You are in for a siege of a couple of months of it at least, my lad." The boy was very much disheartened at this intelligence; and the next morn ing, when we were all under canvas, tho doctor, having finished his immediate duties, sat by his bedside, nnd I heard him tell his patient how when he was a doctor's boy he lmd not learned much of medicine; and litnv in making an experi ment he bail nearly dosed to death a boy a little older than himself. When he was about to leave the tent I snid : "Doctor, I am the boy whom you near ly doted to death. What have you been doing through all these years? ' I lmd recognized him on the preceding night, tmt he httd not known me, and lie was astounded when 1 accosted him. He (tad certainly improved both in appear nitre and manners, and I found after ward that he was a great favorite with the command to which he was attached. We soon became Very good friends— far lxitter, indeed, than we had ever been in the old days when I so candidly ex pressed mv opinion of him. llib success was duo simply to common-sense and in dustry. On leaving Dr. Hart's service he lmd hired himself to another doctor, who gave him fairer play than his former principal, and he was enabled to study medicine, attend tho necessary lectures, and finally to obtain his di ploma. At last I asked him why lie had left the five-dollar bill in the drawer when he was leaving. Ho laughed. "It wits tho only money,” he said, “that Dr. Hart ever gave mo. He handed it to me, grudgingly enough, about a year bofore I left, and 1 never changed it. You will think it, perhaps, a strange sentiment for a doctor’s boy; but when I was running away without giving him auy notice, I thought I had forfeited all claim to compensation foi my services; so 1 returned his money. By-the-wav, how is the old doctor now ?’ 1 lmd heard of Dr. Hart since I left the village, and I was ablo to give Dr. Dorking (for so ho was called) a good deal of information about him, and, with the rest, I told him that ho was anxious to sell his practice. "Oh, indeed," said Dorking, quietly. “Then I think 1 will go and buy it.” And then, in answer to my look of sur prise, ho added; "I have saved some money, and I don’t see how I can em ploy it better than in settling down in tho old village.” As the woekß went past, my wound did not improve, and Dorking was often with me. The final scenes of the war closed without our presence. In the conversations wo had I suppose I told him enough to give him some inkling ol my old affection for Agnes Hart, for I noticed that as I spoke of her he grew very thoughtful, and looked furtively at mo. My love, perhaps, was not very deep,but it was my first love, nnd did not easily die. As I lay on my couch, toss ing at times from side to side, mutter ing in a low fever, I saw always that sweeet young face before me, and in tho davs of my convalescence I resolved, as Hoon as I could travel, to start for the old village and ask her to be my wife. At last Dr. Dorking left me, going back, he said, to Iry to secure Dr. Hart’s practice, and I passed three very dreary weeks alone. All sorts of misgivings troubled me. Oh, why had I not cast sentiment to the winds, and asked Ag nes for the promise of her hand before I joined tho army ? It did not take me long to reach the village after I had once started, and my heart was beating very fast as I stood before the old doctor’s house. The honeysuckles still twined around tho posts at each side of tho door, and the four yearH that had passed since 1 was there last did not seem to have made much change in the quiet old home stead. The plate on the door bearing the words of "Doctor Hart,” was per haps a little rustier than formerly, but that was all. The oervftut who Admitted me umbered me into tho front parlor with a “Hem I Captain Dougtas I" and I saw that there were two persons in thq room. Now I am not particularly quick of apprehen sion, but I know precisely tho situation between those two the moment I entered. Agues rose, while her companion, who was seated very eloao to iter, remained in his chair, and tho blushes that flew to tho fair face of my old sweetheart were clearly not for me. "Yon see, Douglas,” said Dorking, half an hour Inter, "Agnes had promised to be my wife long before I left the doc tor’s house, I could never liavo offered her a home had I remained hero, and that was the reason I ran away. Bhe has known all my movements, for we liavo corresponded regularly ever since.” 8o it was just as well that I had not proposed for Agnes before the lighting began. Even thou tho Doctor’s Boy hiui won the doctor’s daughter.—liar tier's llazar Steamed or Cooked Food, Profitable. Mr. B. ,T. Stone, Wcstboro, Mass., has for twelve years fed steamed food to his herd of forty-five animals, from early fall until pasturing time tho following spring. He has a twelve-horse power boiler in the basement of an It adjoin ing the barn, over which is a six-horte power-ongino, a plunge pump that raises water into tho boiler, and a tank near the steam box and mixing trough. In the story above there is a large power cutter, that cuts all tho corn-fodder, straw, and second quality of hay used. It is cut into one inch lengths. To three hundred lhs. of this cut fodder, one hundred lbs. of grain, four tits, of snlt, nnd enough water to moisten it are added, and mixed in lots of eighty IDs. each to insure thorough mixing. This provender is pitched into the steam-box, which holds enough for one day’R feed ing. Tho first feodiug is at seven p. m., the second at seven the following morn ing. At noon tho animals are watered, then fed one hundred and twenty-five lbs. best quality of dry hay. The water which settles under tho false bottom of tho steam-box, front about eighty gal lons used at n Rteaming, is converted into a liny ten. This is mixed with suf ficient wheat bran ip make a mash, and is foil to milch cows anil young calves. Tliis food being well seasoned, is very palatable, readily eaten, and quickly di gested. Tito warm food, together with the warm stable, keep up the nuintnl bent, and a large flow of milk is tho re sult. The cause of so many failures in steaming food is, in part, duo to not using any grain, and allowiug the steam to come in contort with the feed direct from the boiler. Here the steam is let into the bottom of tbo steam-box, and softens the whole mass. Tho cooked grain is taken into the stomach of the animal, masti.iatcd with tho cud, and nearly all of its nutriment thereby ex tracted. Below is an estimate of tho daily cost per head. One-half of tho fuel consumed, has beon deducted nnd charged to the liouss, as this same boiler supplies steam, and heats sixteen rooms. 800 lbs. lmv, I® fIO.OO per t0n.... 4U .50 125 “ “* On 20.00 “ 1.25 100 " grain, (’ 80.00 " .... 3.50 75 “ brail, Oi) 20. 0 " 75 125 " coal, Or 6.40 “ 40 £5.40 Forty-live animals til five dollars and forty cents daily, gives twelve cents per head a day.— A merican Agriculturist, Checked Too Much. At Macon I became acquainted with n commercial tourist. He toured for a Philadelphia harness house, and he had two trunks. As soon ns I found that ho had two trunks Idiscovcred why he enmo up to mo in the reading-room of the hotel, reached out the friendly hand, and said that he had carried my photograph next to his heart for the last seven years. He wanted me to check one of the trunks on my ticket as we went up to Atlanta, and thus save him expense on extra baggage, Well, I agreed. It is seldom that I try to beat a railroad, but one must do something for his fellow-man now and then in this up-hill road through life. It so happened that I had a pass around to Montgomery via Atlanta, nnd I handed it to the baggage-checker without a thought of what might follow. Asa consequence, while the harness-house tourist dropped off at Atlanta with tears in his eyes for my disinterestedness, only one of his trunks dropped off with him. The other continued llio ride with me for 160 miles, nnd after considerable telegraphing it went back to Atlanta by express. Just how much it cost him to fall in love with me I don’t know, but I assure him on my honor that whenever I can go out of my way again to oblige him I shall cheerfully do so. M. Quad. He Quit It. One day a gentleman addicted to hard drinking was seated in the smoking-room of an English hotel, when a dog walked in. The drinker gave a violent start and shrank back in his chair, upon which a waiter whispered to him reassuringly, “Don’t be afraid, sir; it's a real one.” This story was related to Dr. Fatra#, and gave him, it is said, au utter loath ing for strong drinks which can destroy the mind and oonvert a man into a palsied sot. It need scarcely be said that the drinker in the smoking-roojfl was afflicted with delirium ttemena, NOTES ANDCOMMENTS. Thu value of tub neat cattle sub sisting on the natural grasses along the slope of tho Rocky Mountains from the British possessions to Mexico is placet! at $600,000,000. Mu. Jambs G. Blainb keobtvbs kioittt cents a volume royalty for his book. It is Haul that about 100,000 volumes have been ordered already, so that the writor is sure of SBO,OOO for his year’s work. Tub Indians op Alaska are snid to have used iu making salmon nets tho bulk of 000 miles of telegraph wire, which was laid by the Overland Telograph Company many years ngo at a cost of $3,000,000. In tub fiscal tisab ended June 30, tho United States government’s dis bursements for pensions roaohoit a sum which exceeds by six millions of dollars the disbursements for all purposes in the year 1860. A jian in Philadelphia was paid by mistake at the Kennington National Bank $1,168 on a check of $468 and kept tho money. He was arrested and looked up over night, but returning the S7OO overdrawn Do was liberated. Tim follow ino resolution was adopted by the miners of Alene, Dakota, nnd posted up all over tho place:— “Not a Chinaman shall ever enter the diggings unless ho climbs a tree, with one end of a lariat over a limb. ” Hkue is tub wA a Philadelphia paper raps New York over the knuckles : Vanderbilt is wortli $200,000,000, Jay Gould $100,000,000 nnd Cyrus W. Field ia worth $60,000,000. Tho Bartholdi pedestal can ho put up for $300,000. Jay Gould is said to ho n much hap pier man than Mr. Vanderbilt. As the latter is worth $200,000,000 and tho former only $100,000,000, it can bo easily seen, snys the Evening Call, that wealth tilouo does not constitute lnippi ness. A ditch to be cut in the Arkansas Valley in Oolorndo will take so much water out of tho Arkansas River that tho Htreftm will not cause much trouble here after in the way of Hoods. It is to be sixty-five feet wide at the bottom and sixty-livo utiles long. Tfie Denver Republican finds, on summing up tho list, that over one Dun tired lives have boon lost there this year by moans of snowslides alone, without counting disasters of this nature that were either too slight or too remote to command prompt and extensive notice. Charles L. Kusg, editor op the Gringo and Greaser, at Manzano, New Mexico, who was assassinated by unknown men who shot him through a window, was a lmriim soarnm sort of a fellow always in troubio. While a resident ot of Leadvillo he made over SIOO,OOO, which he soon lost. Twenty years ago a newspaper cor respondent attended a country school in Wisconsin, whore the teacher, a minister’s wife, punished gufu chewers by forcing them to spit out the gum nnd chew italics, while whispering nnd other delinquencies entailed tho swallowing of liberal doses of castor oil. During the past ten years Undo Sam expended nearly $70,000,000 in enring for the Indians. The total num ber of Indians attached to agencies i’h only 246,000, and of those 60,000 in Indian Territory, 7,700 in Wisconsin, and 6,000 in New York are supposed to be at least partially self-supporting. The Blue Ridge op West Virginia is believed by the State Geologist to eon tain n slumbering volcano. There is one place of about an acre in extent where the ground never freezes and the snow always melts. Vegetation is always a month in advance of the season. Tho volcano is believed to be below this spot. A New Reason. The temperance question has been si. thoroughly threshed out of late that it scarcely seems possible to find anew argument on the one side or the other. But a certain Dr. Troth, of Berth, (Scot land, recently delivered a lecture in which ho advances some exceedingly original propositions: "The drinking of alcoholic beverages is a necessary evil, and is not likely ever to bo discontinued. It is like cholera, plague, or war—one of the wise dispen sations of Providence for preventing an undue increase of mankind. It prevents tiie accumulation of all the property of the nation in tiie hands of a few * * * By its means the son scatters tiie sav ings of his father’s lifetime in a few months, enabling another man to fill his position, creates a class of drunken tradesmen to neglect their business, so that energetic men may succeed where they fail * * * In short, it benefits directly or indirectly everybody but those who drink it, and if they are fools enough to sacrifice themselves and their families for the good of the sober and industrious, why should we interfere witli them?” There is, says the Hour, really a certain amount of sound sense in tho Malthusian selfishness of this ingenious doctor. When a man and his wife engaged in a debate, the other night, and the dog got up and scratched to be let out of the room, they concluded it was timo to stop the discussion. NO. ID. Over n Coffin-Lid. "Sho—was—a —good—wife—to -me, A good wife, God bless her I” The words wore spoken iu trembling accents over a cofllu-Ud. Tho woman asleep tlroro had borno tho boat and burden of life's long day, nnd no one had ever heard her murmur; her hand was quick to reach out iu n helping grasp to those who fell by the wayside, and her feet were swift on errands of mercy; the heart of her husband had trusted in her; he had left her to long hours of solitude, while he amused him self in scenes in which she had no part. Wlten boon companions deserted him when fickle affection selfishly departed, when pleasure palled, lie went home and found her waiting for him. “Come from your long, long roving, On life’s sea no bleak and rough, Come tome tender and loving And I shall he blest enough." That had been her love-song—always on her lips or in her heart, Children had been born to them. Bho had reared hem almost alone—they were gone 1 Her hand had led them to tho uttermost ?dgo of tho morning that has no noon, riton she hhd comforted him, anti sent lim out strong and whole-hearted while the stayed at homo and—cried. What can a woman do but cry ?—aud trust ? Well, sho is at rest now. But slio could not die until he had promised to ‘bear up,” not to fret, but to remember how happy they lmd been. They ? Yes, it is even bo. For she was blest in giv ing, and lie in receiving. It was an equal partnership after all I “She —was—a -good—wife- -to—mo.’ Oh, man 1 man I Why not have told her so, when her oars were not dulled by death ? Why wait to say those words over a coffin whoroin lies a wasted, voary, gray-haired woman, whose eyes nave so long held that pathetic story of loss and suffering and patient yearning, which so many women’s eyes reveal—to those who read. Why not have made tho wilderness in her heart blossom like ;lto rose with the prodigality of your love? Now you would give worlds were they yours to give—to see the tears itf joy your words would have onco caused, bejoweling the closed windows of her soul. It is too late. Wo have careful thoughts for tho stranger, Anil untiles for tho sometimo giiost— lint oft for oar own Tho hitter tone Though tee love our own the best, — Detroit Dree Dress Hie Heller Man, There mnst have been ten of ns sit ting on our trunks in a dismnl passen ger station in Arkansas, waiting for the inevitable night train. Sumo of the drummers tried to tell funny stories, but it was no go, and those who were not nodding aud dozing were mad enough to fight, when a negro came iu nnd flung a lot of wet coal on the fire, extinguish ing tho little wo had been shivering over. "See here, you infernal nigger, yon ought to be shot I” growled a man in the county map business. "Who’s a ’fernal nigger?” "You are 1” "Better look out, white man ! I’m a better man than yon is 1” Tho prospect of another civil war woke everybody tip in a second, and it didn’t scorn as if the dock had ticked fifteen times before tho map man had his coat and vest off and his ears work ing for business. "What you gwino to do, salt ?” asked the negro its he stood gazing at him. "I’m going to sec who is the best man 1 Boys, look out for splinters 1” “Hole on, salt! Hole on, salt 1” called the oilier. "Izo do bottah man, an’/ kin prove it I Sec heah, salt 1” Ho pulled from the pocket of bis old coat a fair-sized coconnut, llte bark of which was highly polished up, nnd opened his mouth and tossed the lint into tho cavity, rattled it around over his back teeth nnd then dropped it into his hand with the remark: “White man, come to taw ! If yon am do bettah man let’s see you circum locute dat cokcrnut nronn’ in yonr mouf like I did I” The proposed bloody struggle ended right there. The map man put on bis garments, tho whole crowd rose up, nnd during the rext twenty minutes that “nigger” scooped in ninety-five cents by rattling that cocoanut and adding to it any bunches of keys or pocket-knives the boys could limit up and hand over. M. Quad. Pav of Officers. Senator Hawley reported favorably to the U. S. Senate, from the Committee on Military Affairs, the bill introduced by him to provide that section of the act approved March 3, 1865, making ap propriations for the snpi>ort of the Army, which provided that all officers of volunteers then in commission below the rank of Brigadier-General, who should continue in the military servico to the close of tho war, should be en titled to receive, upon being mustered out, three months’ pay proper, be so construed so ns to entitle the heirs or legal representatives of such officers who were killed or died in the service Da l.ween March 3, 1806, and April 10, of tho same year, to receive the three eoliths pay to which such officers would have been entitled had they lived and been muatefetj out at tUo q(<?3o qf the war.’ QUAKER CITY HUM.UIL A Mr A TI'II‘"IG| T IL , AjiELPUG‘ "EVENING CAM..” AT TIIE SUPrER TABLE. "What, anothor cup of tea, Mr. Dum loy ?" exclaimed tho landlady, as he passed his cup for tho third time. I am delighted to seo that you are enjoy ing your supper.” "Yen,” responded Dumloy. "I was quite hungry to-night, aud tho tea tastes unusually good.” „ "Not very complimentary to mo, went on the landlady, with a sort of second-class genteel little laugh. 1 1 generally make tho tea myself, but to night I was busy about something else, and tho cook made it. I wonder what sho could liavo put iu it,” "Well,” responded Dumloy, m ho stirred it gontly with his spoon, "I should jttdgo from tho taste that sho must havo put some ten in it." A PLEASANT DAY IN TnE WEST. “My dear,” said a Western farmer to his wife ns lie got out of lied, "will you ltxik anti seo what kind of a day it is ? "Well,” she replied, gazing out of (ho window, "Mr. Smith’s bnrn across tbo way is being blown into tho next lot, but-" “Not his now brick barn ?’’ "No, tbo old wooden one, nnd it looks ns if the roof of his house will liavo to go, hut I don’t believe there will bo very mu oh of a storm.” "Probably not,” replied the husband, "but still wo can hardly expect sottloil weather at this season of tho year. I guess I lmd better drive to town to-day instead of waiting until Saturday, It might storm, then.” RUMMER HOARDING RATES. Stranger—“ What do yon clxargo for those rooms for tho season ?” Landlady—" Let me see. Y r ou snid something about being at Newport all last summer, did you not ? “Yes.” “My terms arc $lO a day.” "My gracious 1 I can’t afford to pay 'hat,” "It is cheaper than going to New port.” “But I meant Newport, Fn. I was at a farm-house near there, and paid $6 a week.” "Oh ! excuse me. Iu that case my terms will be $5.60 a week.’ ArrßorniATE pronunciation. Jones—“ That was a terriabie dy-na mile explosion, wasn’t it?" Smith —“was anybody killed ?” "No, but tho reverberation was felt for miles.” “In that case you should not call it a dy-namite explosion. Nobody diud yon know.” "What should I call it?” "A dyu-amito explosion—made a big din, you know.” ais EXCUSE. Editor—“No, your Honor, I am not sick, but I should like to be excused from jury duty all the same.” Judge—“ For what reason?” “I have a very important article to write for tho next issue of tho paper.” "Very important, is it? May I ask what is the subject ?” "The jury system.’ "Alt ! And what ground do you take ?” "That nil tiie evils of the system would be removed if reputable citizens would consent to serve. ” A SAD PROSPECT. "I see by tiie papers that the Ameri can Association of Umpires havo decid ed to fine pitchers ton dollars for hitting the batsman witli the ball.” "Oh, I guess that can’t be true.” "But I know it is. You can rely on it.” "It ia really too bad. Seems to mo the country ia going to the dogs.” “How so?” "The only national game wo havo is baseball, and now that is to bo deprived its chief attraction. ’’ too riton RENT. "What did you say the rent of that double dwelling is?” asked a liouse- Ijiinter of a West Pliiladelpoia landlord. "Eighty dollars a month for each side, tho tenant to pay water rent and do all the repairing." ‘‘H’m; do you let both sides together for any less ?” "No, it pays mo better to let oaoh side alone.” "Well, I guess it will pay mo better, too,” and he walked away. LIEF. AMONG THE MORMONS. "Are you going out this evening?” asked a Mormon lady of her husband. "Yes,” he replied. "I shall call on Mrs. Smith.” "I owe Miss Smith a call myself,” sho said, “but I don’t suppose it would be exactly tho thing for ns to go together.” "Hardly," responded the husband TWO ROASTS. lowa Man—“ Yes, sir; our prond boast is that lowa has a cow on every bill-top, nnd plenty of milk in tho val leys.” Pennsylvania Man— " That’s nothing. Pennsylvania has a pump at every cross roads, nnd plenty of milk in the cities.” A “help” applying for a situation the other day was asked if she could mako good bread, whereupon she replied : "Yes’m, very good bread, indade; but I think it only fair to tell yez that they wouldn’t ate it at the last place I wuz in. That was why I lift. I hope ye’re more aisy here.” ——— A question for puzzle solvers: Tn waltzing with a young lady not over 17 years, pretty, and one of the never-get dizzy sort, does the young man go around the young lady, or does the young lady go around tho young mau ?—lfartforcl Sunday Journal,