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I muni mliuicy to old egg. One bottle prove! its superiority. HftWltafy Tntnt IfilSSfoW 10,>i> eymptbroi cured. Itchinc Htipitiw and Guuiatliar Swellings relieve"! AUJiaiJ mm mlB I 111 ft Cnwt Chronic Skin 1 ? I R H| ll® Diseases, Ecxeraa. || | I! 11l I I Itching Humors, i | I UIM I I y Trttcr, Ringworm, U mIIIU& Er Blotch on. splotches, and all other troublea of the skin affecting and young. Re duces Scrofulous, A Glandular Swellings, Tum"rs.Ovarian Tumors. Enlarged Glanas, etc. Cures Catarrh, Ozvena, Hipniscasc. old sain Bum T 8 111 f) Cure* all stages of if I HI I I , '*yi-liill and eypht- II I II 111 I I lftle troubles, cure* | I p old cases of 1 years’ U l niVIU^-NSte t leers and tertiary disease ot the bouesand Internal organs cured. Special and sneedy relief to Rmales suffering from painful, suppressed and nrolonged nienstnmtiou, or who are prostrated from loagsu kuess. If BLOOD Mill ’ i pcriticr. It IV B. will idense you. One t*ot tie cures some cases. Send for pamphlet of horn cures. At all Drug Store*. One wittic. El JtliOOli BALM COMPANY. Atlanta, (j f r a .e in 8u jimcrrllla hy J S. CLrOHORN A CO. 6 ■■ 5 a t - sseeSt* i e ’f, i\ ~7S If . . _ |CUUR f 30 UNION SQUARE NEW YORK o 0 p.' tA 'VK ill MASS. GA. rOR SALE BY j 1 1 1 L \ !M! ct (.J A rX. SUMMERS ILLK, GA J 4 The Ileal Truth. The London TANARUS, nth sums up tha Egyptian question in the following way: “The real truth in regard to our interfer ence in Egypt is that we went there for the bondholders, that we have remained for the bondholders, and that every effort is being made to force us to remain for the bondholders. We have no European mandate, we are fulfilling no civilizing mission, and as a country, wo should lie losers rather than gainers were Egypt made over to ns to-morrow as a free gift. Europo not sorry to see us weaken ourselves, and does not object to our drawing the chestnuts out of the fire for others. The Egyptians dis like us because we are Westerns and Christians, whilst they are Easterns and Mahometans. We are in precisely the same fix as was Austria in Lomliardy. If e establish any form of representa tive government that is a reality and not a sham, the first use that will be made of it will be to bow us out of the country, bag and baggage. A certain number of wealthy and powerful persons who have already made millions ot of the Egyp tian fleshpots wish to make a few mil lions more. ‘Unified at 80’ is their cry. For this wo have spent nearly five mil lions of our money—for this we are called upon to undertake compromising responsibilities, and to act as taskmasters over the fellahs. Yes, 'Unified at 80’— this is, in plain words, our civilizing mis sion. All the rest is shuffling and sub terfuge, trickery and clap-trap. It is to the credit of the Prime Minister that he is one of the few who perceive this,” The Colored Congressman. A Washington letter to the Baltimore American says: Uncle Bob Smalls, the well known colored man who was in the last Congress and the one preceding it, is here again as the successor of Con gressman Mackey. Uncle Bob, as he is called in his district, is very popular in South Carolina. He is quite well off financially and a person of considerable education. He retains all the affection of slave days for his old master and mis tress. Not long ago his old master died and in the course of events it transpired that his wife became quite destitute. Uncle Bob, who had quietly kept an eye on the situation, went to her and told her he wanted her to make his house her as long as she liked and in sisted upon her going there, occupying the best rooms in the house and making herself as much at home as ever she was even in her own house. His horse* and carriages were always at her service, and his wife waits upon her as carefully and promptly as she was attended upon twenty veara ago, €l)c 3‘ummm)site #itycttc. VOL XI. TU E CUUKCnYARD BY THE BE A. i MEMORY. Across the waste of yosuh I ace Ouo spot forever soft aud green Which, shrined within my memory, In evening glow or morniug sheen, Telia of the golden vanished yvara. When smiles came of toner far than tears. A churchyard by the restless sea, Where in deep, calm nml (b rainless sleep, The Dead lay resting peacefully, Unheeding the t tempestuous deep; Careless alike of sun and breeze, Or ebbing of thoso changeful ecus. Amt oft when ahipwn ck Hud despair Caine to the little sea-boat tow n, Pale women, with disheYcled hair, To the wild shore went hurrying down, And tenderly dead eyes would close, And smooth dead limbs for long repose. Full many a weary, storm-tossed w ight, Year after year, in quiet was laid, Safe from the blustering storms of nigh* In this green spot and undismayed, Slept close beside the breakers’ roar, Whose wrath should mar his rest no more. And over each low-sleeping head, Where thyuiy turf grow green aud soft, The wild bee hummed, and rosy-red The brier-flower bloomed, and up aloft The fleecy clouds went drifting by Like shades, across the summer sky. And ever as the years go by, And one by one old memories creep From out the sweet past solemnly, I seem to see, beside the deep, That little, lonely, silent spot, With many a childish dream omvrought. —Chamber 8' 8 Journal. A Lover’s Dilemma. HOW IIR TOOK THE BREAD OUT OP THE MOUTHS OF A lIAKLItH CUSTOMERS. Translated from the French for the Phils. Call. Fotiparlin-en-Bigurrau was by all odds tho most wearisome town in the whole department of tho Oaronne-Inferienre. Among its 8,500 inhabitants it con tained only eight pretty girls, a foot that disgusted all the young men living within its limits. One of these eight pretty girls was Berthe, daughter of M. Agenor Mnleu frond, one of the two rival bakers of tho town. Berthe was sweet 10, and would have had plenty of adorers had not her father pitilessly driven away all the yonng men who had ever ventured to pay her even tho slightest attention. M. Malcnfroud had amassed considerable money, and did not wish (his daughter to become the wife of a gallant without sou. Stanislas Coquelard, the town notary’s youthful clerk, was gifted with a senti mental soul. He had just reached that ago when the heart opens to love as the corolla of a flower to the kisses of the breeze. Stanislas thought that Pou parlin should furnish him with other happiness than contemplating the broad meadows dnring the day and listening to the song of the nightingales during the night. it was toward the close of April, and, while he conscientiously copied the no tary’s documents, the young clerk thought of the charming Bertho, and wondered what he could do to get into the good graces of her hard-hearted father, who, by the way, was a widower. 3tanislos hod read in the young girl’s eyes that she was dissatisfied with her tot, and firmly believed that she would not be averse to accepting his heart and hand if ever he got an opportunity to offer them to her. Stanislas Coquelard was twenty, and had abundant faith in the belief that his time wonld come. The notary’s house was situated oppo site the bakery, and occasionally tlie clerk had exchanged through the win dows more than one furtive glance with the pretty Berthe. Every morning on his way to the no tary’s, he stopped at the bakery and bought a son loaf of Berthe, os he paid for it, he rolled his eyes after the fashion of a young man who is desperately smitten and intends that the object of his adoration shall know it. On her side, the baker’s daughter was far from regarding Stanislas in a way to discourage him. Such a state of things conhl not last very long without producing the usual result. The baker made his bread during the day, then went to bed and did not rise until it was time to begin baking, to ward half-past ten at night. One evening the clerk, taking advan tage of the moment when M. Malen frond was still slumbering while await ing the hour at which his nocturnal toil was to commence, fell at Berthe’s feet and began a speech, to which ho added the most expressive pantomime. Ho eDded by asking her to marry him. Berthe, unused to such masculine elo quence, was melted, and in a low voice consented to unite her destiny to his. Stanislas, greatly affected, kissed Ber the several times so enthusiastically that he awakened M. Malenfrond, who slept in a chamber over the back shop. The baker listened, and thought he recognized the hand of his apprentice who had been sick for a week. Over joyed, he leaped out of bed, crying; “Wait a little, my boy, and I’ll help you knead the hread! I'm coming down 1" The lovers stared at each other in con sternation. At that instant the stairs creaked beneath the baker’s heavy tread. How was Stanislas to escape? The stairway was between the shop and the room in which were the two turtle doveal SUMMERVILLE* GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY EVENING, JUNE J, 188-1. There was not ft aeooud to bo lost, Berthe, who had a good head, extin guished the lamp aud whispered to the tern tied Stanislas: "Hide yourself quiokly in that chest over there aud don’t be afraid. I'll take eare of everything 1" Ooquelard followod her recommenda tion and felt his way along the wall in the direction Berthe had indicated with a rapid gesture. In the darkness ho missed the chest but encountered tho dough trough; he felt a lid beneath his fingers, lifted it, and, ns nimbly as a squirrel in danger, leaped into tho box. He oame down amid the dough with a thud, but he had the presence of mind to draw the lid over him. At that moment tho baker entered the apartment. “Sacrebleu I” growled he, “there is no light here 1” Berthe instantly replied: “It’s the fault of this wretched lamp. 1 tried to turn tip the wick, but it went out. That lazy Nicole must have for gotten to put oil in it 1” A two minutes’ search eusued; then came the scratching of matches, and the lamp was lighted again. “What!” exclaimed M. Malcnfroud, “are you alone ? Why, I thought I heard somo one a kneading a tittle while ago I’’ “You had the nightmare, father 1” answered the dnughter, soothingly. “Why, who on earth could bo here? Gervais, our apprentice, is still sick and won’t bo out of bed for a week to come.” “Then I didn’t hear right. But now I’m up I’ll go to work 1” And the baker, rubbing his bunds to get them in working trim, went to tho dough trough and raised the lid. At that, moment a great clammy hand arose from the depths of a box, hurling fragments of soft dough in every direc tion. "Wliat’s that—what’s that?" ex claimed M. Maleufrond, drawing back a couple of paces. "Who the deuce is iu the dough——” He did not finish. An enormous plaster of dough was applied to liis face with a splosh, cutting short iiis excla mations and blinding him at the same time. The baker was conscientious iu tlio exercise of his trade. His dough was well kneaded, and, though he made tremendous efforts to scrape the plaster from liis visage, two or two minutes elapsed before lie was able to open his eyes and speak. During tho whole of this scene, Berthe, paralyzed with astonishment, had not stirred. When her father had succeeded, un aided, iu ridding himself of his plaster, she recovered her senses and began to cry: “Ob, mon Dieu 1” it must boa rob ber 1” “Ah, tho scoundrel !’’ groaned poor Maleufrond. "Where is he, that I may knock him down 1” Aud, all sticky as ho was, he rushed to tho dough-trough. It was empty, and empty in every sense. Stanislas in his flight had dragged off on liis person al! the baker’s dough. lie had left in the bottom of (lie box only his slices, that would have bothered him in running. "Ouf I” cried the unfortunate halter. “The thief I I cannot bake to-night. He Ims taken the bread out of tho mouths of more than ten families 1” During this time the clerk, nil covered with dough, hastened as well as he could toward tho shop of tho other baker, which was not far away. The latter received this farinaceous mass with tho greater affability, ns he brought with him fifteen or eighteen livres of dough. He scraped the clerk so conscientiously that tho next day some of the inhabitants of the town found in their loaves, ono a jilug of tobacco, another a portc-monnaie con taining eighteen sous, a third a pocket handkerchief and a bunch of keys. The luckiest had for liis share a sheet of stamped paper. This worked against M. Malcnfrond’s rival, who, accused of inattention to business, lost a part of his customers, thus once again proving that wrongly acquired property never benefits any one. A few weeks afterward Stanislas ven tured to ask M. Maleufrond for his daughter’s hand. As tlio clerk had re ceived a legacy of a few thousand francs, the baker gave his consent, and even took him into partnership in the bakery shortly after his marriage uith Berthe had been duly celebrated. As for M. Maleufrond, he was kept in strict ignorance of the real nature of the episode of the dough-trough, and he lever afterward went to bed without having first cautioned his daughter to bo on the watoh for robbers. “You see, Berthe,” he often said to her, “it is not enough to keep an eye on the shop, the dough-trough must also be watched, and for that there’s nothing like the eye of the master or that of the mistress 1” A young lady who is learning music says she heard that fish is a good dish for peoplo who write stories, eta, and wants to know what would be a proper dish for a person studying music. We should say a noto meal diet would be excellent— Somerville Journal, NOTES AND COMMENTS* Baron Nordensklold, it is hud, is | contemplating a voyage next year to tho | South Polar regions. Tho expedition is to cost f1,000,000. Thk New York florists make up small flowers into slippers. A pair soled with velvet and lined with satin may bo bought for tho moderate sum of 850. An English journal says that if the emigration of young Irish couples to America continues the population of Ireland will eventually fall to three mil lions. The official statistics of Canadian railroads for 188 ft show 1,275 miles built; 833,244,585 tho gross reveuuo; 169 per sons killed, and 550 persons injured dur ing the year. In Warsaw, Wyoming County, N. Y., there are eight salt wells. Solid salt is found at a distance from the surface of from 1,600 to 1,800 feet. The beds are about 90 feet thick. Mr. Hkymour, of the Butter, Cheese and Egg Exchange, snys that some of the best families of New York have abandoned the use of butter because of their distrust of its purity. In the South, cotton mills are on the increase. Sineo Jan. 1 100,000 spindles have been added, and the mills recently opened or in course of construe tion are worth ovor 83,250,000. Cincinnati nAs penned up iu her jail thirty homicides, seventeen out on hail accused of the samo crime, and twenty more roaming at will from having slipped through the legal noose that justly claims them. A BILL HAS BERN INTRODUCED in tliO Legislature of Massachusetts which pro hibits the exhibition of deformgd per sons who nro minors or insane, and of persons who have an appearance of de formity produced by artificial means. The Isthmus of CoitiNTn, now under consideration, will, it is said, be surely completed by 1887. Tho canal, 120 miles in length, will unite the lonian and TKgean Betts, and save the voyage of 120 miles round the Cape of Matapan. The Carter family is to have a re union in Woburn, Mass,, on Wednesday, June 11. The exercises will include an address of welcome, with response, a genealogical address, poem, orchestral and vocal music, aud after-dinner speeches. During the recent fighting in Egypt Baker Pasha’s cheekbone was splintered try a four-ounce iron bullet, Which was so firmly fixed iu the hone I hat it had to j lie sawed out—a long aud painful oper- I ation-—which was endured without any amestlietie. The London Lancet informs a cor respondent that “tho possibility, nay, tho certainty in many eases, of dies being a medium of infection, especially in warm climates, tins l>oen repeatedly pointed out, though perhaps not sufli cicntly borne in mind.” A North Carolina man whoso house was demolished by a tornado afterward found his watch hanging on a small limb of a tree that hud blown down in tho yard, the chain wrapped several times around tho limb. It was ticking away as if nothing had happened. Kicoent experiments conducted by Professor Kaiuig, of Berlin, shows that, within therangeof the normal spectrum, a healthy eye can perceive about 300 differences of color, and its color-sensi tiveness ranges from more than ouo down to 0.2 millionth of a millimetre. URN. 15IJTLKU is now SAID to have it in mind to write a book of rerriniseences. A Boston publisher says that if lie would write a book iu two volumes it would be eusy to sell 250,000 copies through agents. This, at 50 cents a volume, would give the author a royally of 8250,000. Women at Sea, Tho life which women lead on board ship, says tho Agnatic Monthly, is usually a monotonous ono. Their quar ters are close and their social opportuni ties aro quite limited. Tho oaptain’s wife may tire of the society of her husband or of the constant care of her children. If she wishes to go out to walk, she is confined to the quarter-deck. A flirta tion during her airing witli one of tho mates or carpenter would be beneath her. if sho happens to be good-looking, the vessel will constantly swing a few points out of its course, for the man at the wheel will keep liis eye on her as long as she continues her promenade. She may make an occasional excursion to the forward part of tho ship, but even in that novelty she finds little to attract her. A passing vessel arouses her inter est, and a hurricane relieves, to a certain extent, the monotony of her existence; but these blessings do not come along every day. She has no one to gossip with but tho stewardess, aud they find few matters of recent date which are worth discussing at any great length. Tho captain’s wife may be as gay as she chooses withont causing any scandal, but, unfortunately, she has very little to stimulate whatever desire for gayety she may possess. She has some advantages, however, for she is able to keep an eye on ber husband. How or where he spends his evenings is no mystery to her. Is rot® mother in ?” asked a visitor of a little Mormon b°y w h° operfcd the door. “No, ma’am,” the little boy re plied, “but my brother’s mother is iu. BtJKDETTE POINTS A MORAL. I i Tlio llfiwlteye Humorist THIh of a l)ox Thai Wen! oil nn(l Lost HlriiMp.lL On the Western farm where much of the summer time of my life was passed we had a dog. There being two or three boys on the farm, wo had seven or eight dogs, ns a matter of fact, but there was one particular dog, with whose tail I desire to point a moral. He was a hun ter. Morning after morning, summer and winter, he went forth to hunt. Night after night ho came hack home, his hair full of burs, his feet covered with stone-bruises, and his ears pendent with wood-ticks. For seven long years that dog lived on the farm. He gnawed not tho bone of idleness, neither was he wise in the conceit of the sluggard, because in all those seven years he hunted all the time, seven days a week. But, alas 1 like tho slothful, ho “roasted not that ho took iu hunting” (Piov. xii., 27). Be cause ho never found anything. Not one single, lone, solitary, lost thing did ho find in all those seven years’ hunting. Never found a thing. But wo kept him, because wo believed, indeed we knew, that the dog’s intentions were good. Ho meant well. Every morning ns ho went forth, happy aud confident, ho hoped to find something and bring it home with him joyous aud triumphant. But never did. And at last, ouo keou, clear, bracing November day, lie went down in the ferny glens and lost himself. Wo never heard that ho died; nobody ever saw him or heard anything of him ngniu; his bark came back no more; ho was just lost; he had wrapped tlio drapery of tho unknowable about him anti joined the innumerable caravan of intangible things lie had been hunting for years. The moral of this passage is self-evident. There are men, even in your own circle of acquaintance, who hunt nil their lives and never find any thing. They take the Congressional I,Word for its jokes anil read the Nation for political instruction. He goes to tho minstrel show for amusement aud reads the Washington papers for news. He goes to n summer boarding-house to get cool aud takes a vacation that he may rest. Ho goes to the oouutry for cream and fresh eggs ami keeps a liorso to save street-ear fare. In all this he docth foolishly. Ho hunts well enough but not wisely. You must know, my boy, before you go hunting, where to hunt for what you want. You might go deer stalking all over Coney Island for twenty years aud never bring homo a pair of branching antlers to hang in the ances tral halls of the fiat iu which you live. He Nearly Lost Ills Pocket-book. "Tuesday I was down town,” says the had boy, “and an old farmer was walking along in front of me, and I saw him drop his pocket-book on the side walk. I yelled to him and pointed to Uio pocket-book, and told him he dropped it, but ho told mo to go to the hot place. It was April fool day, and he thought I was fooling him, and he went on laughing, as much ns to say no town hoy could play any jokes on your uncle Ike. Well, I picked up tho pocket book, and it was a fat one, and I fol lowed the old farmer, and pulled his coat and told him here was his pocket hook, but he bit me side of the jaw and said to go away or he would maul me. I never felt so mean since my girl went buck on me, but I didn’t want to keep the old man’s pocket-book, and I didn't want to bo killed trying to deliver it to the owner. So I ran ahoad of him and stopped aud opened the pocket-book, and when lie came up I took out a roll of hills ns big as my wrist, and showed them to him, and asked him if lie knew whoso pocket-book it was. What do you think the old granger did? Ho took the pocket-book with one hand and took mo by the neck with tho other, and called me a thief, aud said I ought to go to .State prison, and he took mo into a stairway and set mo down aud stood on my coat tail so I could not get away, and kept mo until ho counted all the money in the wallet, cussin’ mo between every ten dollars he counted, and when he found it was all there, he put the wallet inside his shirt and gave me a lecture about boys growing lip to be thieves, and finally he gave me this lead nickle, took his foot off my coat-tail and let mo go, and then tried to kick mo ns I ran away. I don't think that was right. Only for me he would have lost his wal let aud probably linvo gone crazy over the loss.’’ The Constitution Robert Rodney, U. 8. N., would liko to have the Constitution amended so that no citizen could own more than ten million dollars’ worth of property. If Mr. Rodney is afraid of owning more than ten million dollars himself, ho can easily give away his surplus wealth, without an amendment. As for tho rest of the people, there are compara tively few of them who are troubled that way, and when they aro thoy will manage to get along under tho present Constitution, says an exchange. “My dear boy, the business world is divided into camps, the gaolers and the speculators." I don't exactly seo tho diflereijce.” “It’S very simple. The speculator is the one who gains. When a man loses he is only a gambler I” NQ. ‘JO. THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. IVIIAT THE warn OF THK Pit KM M HAVE TO SAY THAT IS AMI'INIi. A ROY'S POCKET. Buckles, and buttons, aud top, and marbles mid pieces of string, a screw from a rusty old mop, and scraps of a favorite sling. Slate pencils, aud part of a lock, some matches and kernels of corn, the wheels of a discarded clock, and remains of a mitten all torn. A jack-knife or two, never sharp, some pieces of bright-colored glass, the rim of an aueient jews’-harp, pens, fish hooks, and pieces of brass. Old nails, “sweeties,” ehippings of tin, with bits of a battered-up locket. All these, and much more, are within the depths of a little boy's pocket. —The Continent. AT THE STOCK EXCHANGE. “I’ll have to consult with a doctor. I’m not well.” “What is your trouble?” “I sleep too much. As soon ns 1 drink eight or ten glasses of beer, I oan’t keep my eyes open. I think I ought to be bled!” ' “I can tell you what will spare your eyes, and keep then) open. Just you let me sell you, at par, for cash, a thou sand shares of some railroad stocks I’ve got, aud you will not be able to get a wink of sleep as long as you have them on your hands. What is riches without health ?”—Austin Siftings. he didn't figure like that. A German tailor in a village in Canada failed a few days ago and called a meet ing of his creditors. An investigation seemed to show that his liabilities were $4,600, and his assets .SI,OOO. “It thus appears," suid one of tlio creditors, "that you can pay 25 cents on tho dollar.” “Vliell, I doan’ figuro liko dot,” re plied the tailor. “How do you figure?” “Yliy, I pays feefty cents on der dol- Inr.” “How can you do that when your as sets only allow one-fourth ?” “Vliell, I priugs tho odder money down from der house.” Ho was not permitted to fail. CONSOLING. Mrs. Minks—“ Who would have thought that that lovely Mrs. Blank, who was a bride only a few years ago should now be suing for a divorce ?’’ Mrs. Finks—“l do not blame her. Her husband abused her terribly.” Mrs. Miuks—“Why, when they were married her husband was just as devoted as dear John is to me. 1 would die if I thought that in a few years he could dimigo that way.” Mrs. Finks—“Oh, don't alarm your self, he won’t.” Mrs. Minks—“ You are sure, then?” Mrs. Finks—“ Certain. All your money is in your name.” —Philadelphia Livening Call. WIIAT it taught. Mrs. Bilkson —“1 hope this, Mr. Bilk son, will l>o a warning to you.” Mr. Bilksou —“What are you talking about, anyhow ?” Mrs. Biiksou —“An item in this paper. It says: 'A man in Springfield, Mo., bo ing invited to drink, poured out a glass of whisky, looked at it a moment, and then dropped dead.’ Now, just re member that, Mr. Bilkson. tho next time yon are asked to drink. It teaches a terrible lesson.” Mr. Bilkson—“Yes, indeod. Delays are dangerous. ” —Evening Call. OVER, LONG AGO. “How long have you been married, Mrs. Slowbody ?” “Five years.” “Five years ? Why, you ought to have a wooden wedding.” “Have,” replied Mrs. Slowbody, .glancing across at tlio meek figuro of a man trying to hide behind a newspaper, “had that when I was married.”—/fur ington Hawkey e. AN EXPLANATION. “How far is it from the City Hall to tho Battery ?” asked one New Yorker of another. “According to the oity map it is a mile, but I’ve walked it and I find it much longer.” “1 can explain that discrepancy. The city map does riot go into every other saloon between tlio two places.— Taras Siftings. HE STRUCK IT RICH. “That's my uncle oyer there,” said a fast young man to his fast companion; “we're pretty .near broke and I’ll strike I him for a raise. He won tgo back on me. Bet you the drinks I’ll strike him for a ten and get it.” The bet was made and the yonng man , “struck” his unole. A long conversa- : tion ensued. Finally the young man returned, his face flashed with triumph i and some bills in his hand. “I told you I’d make it,” ho said, “maybo we can make a hit on roulette with this.” Then his companion looked at the bills, and there were only two 81 notes, j “But you didn't) get $lO, didjyou?” ho inquired. '■‘Yes, I did,” replied the nephew, a: his tone changed to one of sadness, “only I had to take the othor $3 out in good advice.”— Chicago Herald FROM Tiers KART. Twe hot-tempered Celts from Battle row were in Yorkville Pollee CV*usl yesterday. One had stabbed the other with a night koy. The mnn who did the stabbing said, in extenuation of the aot: “Ho called mo a flamin' sucker, “What if bo did?” said tho Justice. “Oi’U allow no man to call mo that.” ••Why not 7 What is a snoker ?” “Shure, Oi don’t know." “How do you know hut what it is a complimentary term ?” “It may be, yer honor; but Moike uiver mint it for a compliment.” “Don’t you know that natives of tho groat State of Illinois are called suckers ?” “Oi did not, but Oi (lo now. Oi’m sliuro Moike niver mint to cull me a nativo av that place, for well ho knows Oi’m from Tipperary,”— N. F. Sun. life among the mormons. “My dear,” said a Mormon wife to her husband, “I should think that you would be ashamed of yourself, flirting with that Miss B. as you did iu church to-day.” “Firtiug with her?" he replied in astonishment. “Why wo linvo been en gaged for more than three mouths. It’s all over town.” “Oh, I beg your pardon,” said his wife indifferently. “If you are engaged to her, I suppose it is all right. When I does the happy eveut occur?”—Phila delphia Call. DULL TIMES. Oaunflinu Hotel Keeper—“l don’t see how wo are to get along. The house ie about empty, yet it is impossible to re duce expenses. Look over tho Ameri can papers nud see what the news is.” Hotel Clerk—“l have looked over them, There has not been a big defol iation iu the IJuited States for two weeks.” Canadian Hotel Keeper—“My stars 1 wo will he ruined. I never knew the times to be so dull.” HE COULDN’T STAND IT. “Why are you home so early?” asked a wife of her huabaud. “Is tho singing school exhibition out already ?’’ “No; not more than half out,” he re plied. “Why didn’t yon stay to tho close? Weren’t you interested in tho singing?” “I was until a sixteeu-yenr-old boy attempted to sing ‘Larhonrd Watoh Ahoy.’ Then I thought I would come home, go to bed and try to forget all about it.’ 1 IN WANT OF MONEY. “Can you give me a little money on that account of yours this moruing ?” “No, I don’t believe I can this morn ing.” “Weil, will you appoint a time when you oan ? You have traded with me a great deal and have never paid mo cent.” “I know it. Jam a free trader.” Iu the Mine-Kiln Club. Trustee Pullback offered the follow, ing resolution: “ Resolved , Dat when a pusson has bin tried in due form, convicted by au honest jury an’ sentenced to prison by a Judge in whom the people have confi dence, do criminal should stay dur’ until his sentence has expired.” Giveaduw Jones moved that the roll bo called upon the vote, and this being done Shindig Watkins was the only uamo marked os opposing the resolution. “Dis resolnshun kivers a suhjeot of deepest interest to de peoplo at large,” said Brother Gardner when the vote had been pronounced. “A robber or em bezzler or defaulter or thief or oven mur derer kin sit down with a piece of chalk iu ouo ban’ an’ a shingle in do odder ou mako clus figures on dis matter, De murderer strikes his victim au’ makes a break. De papers howl, de detectives rush an’ de public talk of lynchin’. If he am not pioked up right away dar’ am a fusilude agin’ de officers. When he am caught dar’ am great anxiety to push him to trial. When he am triod an’ con victed dar’ am a hoap of sweet talk ’bout de majesty of the law. He gits, say, fifteen y’ors in prison. Ho orter have bin sent fur life, but it was shown dat he was drunk, or his graudfadder was insane, or nis great grandmudder had alius acted a leetle queer. Befo’ a y’ar has passed away somebody begins to pity. In de course of two or free y’ars de proseoutin’ attorney begins to relent. A petition am drawn up an’ do jury finds dey was mistaken, do Judge diskivers dat he sentenced de wrong mnn, an’ do Gub’ner am asked to exercise do par donin’ power to restore a perfeckly in nocent man to society ?”— Detroit Fret Press Bared to Do Ills Ditty. Tho late Count Vladimir Feodorovitch Adlerberg, of Russia, always accom panied Czar Nicholas on his journeys. On one occasion they mot at a post station a courier with important dis patches for His Majesty, seriously in criminating the political conduct of a certain high official. On reading them the stormy-tempered Nicholas became furious, and at once commanded Adlor berg to send an order to dismiss the official in question aid have him ar rested. Count Adlcrborg essayed some observations, but the Czar was too angry, and repeated liis commands. The mes senger was sent on to St. Petersburg. At the next station Nicliolus asked Adler berg what he bad written to tho proper Minister on tho subject. “Sire,” re plied Count Adlerberg, “I took the liberty of not transmitting your com mands.” "What!” exolaimed the Em peror, “how dared you disobey me?” "Bire,” again replied Adlerberg, “I knew that Your Majesty would approve of my preventing an injustice by precipi tation before the guilt of a man was properly proved.” The Emperor said nothing for a moment, then, grasping Adlerberg warmly by the hand, simply said, ■’‘Thanks.” funeral was attended by nearly all tho members of the present Imperial family,