Newspaper Page Text
ITS Sim For Wood, Skin
U “ - -
•a ti 458 I I I m °ucy. A scion
I I I II I I I tltK ' Blood Poison
w I II I H | VI Remedy Sure, safe
and satisfactory. Purifies the Blood from
infancy to old age. One bottle proves its
superiority. Hereditary Taint and Scrofu
lous symptoms cured. Itching Humors
and Glandular Swellings relieved. All bad
IMODIUMM
IsflT■ 111 ft Cnrei Chronic Skin
> t 1 Wa 1 I * Diseases, Eczema,
, 4 J ■ r! H Itching Humors,
9 I UiVfißlfl Tetter, Ringworm,
y i ni!SU& t ;
IHotehev splotches, and all other troubles
oi the skin affecting old and young. Re
duces scrofulous. A Glandular Swellings,
T km- r>;.'varian Tumors. Enlarged Glands,
ei . < ures Catarrh,Ozvenn, Hip Disease, old
aionnsuM
9 3 1 I Cnrei all stages of
M I H SI I I ® Syphilis and Syphi
-1 H I H 111 I I Hue troubles. Cures
• 1 j 'UI 3SI 9 I ■ old cases of 15 years’
U mil I UK^Mias
1 leers and tertiary disease of the bones ana
i .: torna 1 organs c tired. $ pecial aud sneedy
relief to females suffering from painful,
suppressed a;.<i prolonged menstruation, or
:o aro prostrated from longsk-knesa. If
wMB Mill
1 • 1 purifier. RIT R w ill please you. One bot
*‘e ' : *rv -orae cases. .Send far pamphlet of home
cun's. At all Drug Stores. Oneuottle.fi.
IHvOOD BALM COMPANY, Atlanta, Ga.
.T s. f U ilioKN ,1- co.
V i c.ll' r
hew Home
y? Ip?
-
■’ l 'S no EQ' iAL ruf ■- ;
* 30 UNION SQUARE NEW YORK
o- V,
rc R £AL L GY
1*1! \ ! ? ! i ct CAIN,
'i'i !'i: vf !.!.]•:, (; a __
' NEW
DAVIS
The lightest running Shuttle Sewing
Machine ever produced, combining
greatest simplicity, durability and
speed. It is adapted to a greater va
riety of practical and fancy work than
any other. No basting ever required.
For particulars as to prices, &c„ and
for any desired information, address
THE OAVIS SEWING MACHINE CO,
WATERTOWN, N. Y.
158 Tremont St., Boston, Mass.
1223 Chestnut St„ Philadelphia, Pa.
113 Public Square, Cleveland, Ohio.
43, 48 & 50 Jackson St„ Chicago, 111.
F'.r -ai< iii SnmmiTville liy
,t. S. rj.KfIHOIiN A CO.
ALABASTINE
A Superior Substitute
for Kalsomine, e+c.
Alahastlne is the ffr.tf and on 5/preparation
made from calcine i c\peon rock, f'*r nij>l -
cation to walls with ;i bn:-it. Mirl is hilly cov
ered by paum:.-' an*l p'*rr 1 u-i by me:;.,
of experinn-nU. it i-' i: • “idy ]>* ran:n>• mt
wall finish, nn-l adtnita of apply inti; as many
coats as ilos.r*"). one over anotii* r, to any
hard surface, without <Jinir*r ol scalii; c. or
noticeably addimx to in*.* the: • .;
wall, whirh is stKimrthened rind improve I by
each additional coat, from time to time, it,
is the only material lor the purpose not de
pendent upon glue fur its adhesiveness.
Alabn.stino is hardened on th 1 wall lv :1 - '-
moisture, etc., while ail kalromines or >v hit
emng preparations have inert soft chalks
ami glue for their base, which are rendered
soft or scaled in a very short time.
In addition to the al>ove advantages,
Alaimstine is less expensive, us it requires
but one-half the number of pounds to cover
the same amount of surface with two coats,
is ready for use by adding water, and easily
applied by any one.
Fot sale by your Paint Dealer. Ask for
Circular containing Samples of lii tints,
manufactured only by' the Ai.a r. v-tisK Cos.,
M. B. Church, Manager, Grand Rapids, Mich
Law Pi„f, -~i ' What constitutes
burglary V sine lent—“ There mmt he
a breaking. ’ Professor—“B a man,
then, enters a door and takes a dollar
from your vest p,,ekct in the hall, would
that be burglar;. ? Student — "Ves, sir;
l ieesusu that would break me, ’
€tjc &nmmmriUe (Dajrfic.
VOL XI.
•V. PURE *
PAINTS
ReadyForUse
Olives, Terra Cottas and all tlie latest
iashionable shades for
CITY COUNTRY OR SEASIDE.
Warranted durable and permanent.
Descriptive Lists, showing Bli actual
shades, sent on application.
For sale by the prinoipal dealers.
1 wholesale) and retail, throughout the
country.
! Ask for them and take no others.
eiLLINGS, TAYLOR & CO.
CLEVELAND, OHIO.
-- SANDS’ -*-•
PATENT TRIPLET
IREEZER®^
’The only Freezer over made having three dintlnrt
mot Jour inwidc the can, thereby, of course, produc
ing finer and smoother Cream than any other
Freezer on the market.
300,000 in 1190. Catalogue and Price List
laiK and upon application.
WHITE MOUNTAIN FREEZER CO.,
NASHUA, N, H.
CATTI.K ItAIHIXO Iff SOUTH AMKR
IV A.
The life of the cattle is wholly free.
The stock-raiser, or estancier, is tho
owner of a very extensive tract of past
ure land, and he leaves the animats to
live upon it, to feed themselves, anti
multiply at their will. Tho stock, even
in iX- wildest and least-populous re
gions, form small herds of from 100 to
150 head, which are made up of steers,
cows, calves and bulls, but are always
composed of the same individuals, and
always inhabit the same very limited re
gion of the campo, ami the animals pass
their lives within this region without
being confined bv any inclosure. The
distinctive clmract r of tho groups is
especially curious in the more populous
regions, as the southern part of Rio
Grande or Montevideo, wlicfe herds may
be seen almost in contact without mix
ing, coming together and making them
selves up gi ucrally without trouble, and
they live thus side by side for years
without becoming acquainted with each
other. Ea h herd is so coherent that,
when one of its members takes fright
and turns away, all will follow it. In
consequence of this habit, it is very dif
ficult, when the cattle are sold, to sepa
rate them from tho herds and to get
them along for the first few leagues. If
they arc not watched, they will escape,
pass by thousands of other animals with
out noticing them, and join their
companions again. —Popular Science'
Monthly.
A Model Ice-Chest,
During the month of March I built
an ice-chcst for this summer. It was
not handsome but it was roomy, and
would be very nice for the season oi
1884, I thought. It worked pretty well
through March and April, hut as the j
weather begins to warm up that ice- ;
chest is about the warmest place arouDd
the house. There is actually a glow ol i
heat around the ice-ehost that I don't ;
notice elsewhere. I’ve shown it to sev- j
eral personal friends. They seem to I
think that it is not Guilt tightly enough
for an ioe-chest. My brother looked at ,
it yesterday, and said that iiis idea of an
ice-chest was that it ought to be tight .
enough at least to hold the larger chunks I
of ice so that they would not escape
through the pores of the ice-box. He ]
says he never built one, but it stood to j
reason that a refrigerator like that ought
to be constructed so that it would keep
the cows out of it. You don’t want to
have a refrigerator that tho cattle can
get through the cracks of and eat up
you strawberries on ice, he says. A
neighbor of mine who once built a hen j
re-sort of laths, and now wears a thick
thumb-nail that looks like a Brazil nul
as a memento of that pullet corral, says
my ice-chest is all right enough, only
that, it is not suited to this climate. Ho
thinks that along Behring Strait, during
the holidays, my ioe-chest would work
like a charm. And even here, he thought,
if I could keep the lever out of iny chest,
there would be less pain. —Bill, Nye-
SUMMKRVI I LK GKOHGI A, WEDNESDAY EVENING, JULY !), 1884.
OLD ECHOES.
You wonder that ray team should flow
In listening to that simple attain;
That those unskillful sounds should fill
My soul with joy and pain—
How eau you tell what thoughts it Btire
Within my heart again?
Yon wonder why that common phrase,
So all unmeaning to your ear,
| Should stay mo in my merriest mood,
Ami thrill my soul to hear -
llow can you tell what ancient charm
Has made me hold it dear ?
You smile to see me turn and speak
With one whose converse you despise.
Yon do not see the dreams of old
That with Ins voice arise—
i How can you tell what links have made
linn sacred in my eyes?
Oh. these are vouvs of the Past,
Links of a broken chain,
Wings that can hear me hack to times
Which cannot come again;
Yet God forbid that I should loso
The echoes that remain.
I TEN YEARS oFWAITINC..
A LOVE STORY.
“Well, fifty years ago,” snid Aunt
8011, “I was a girl of sixteen and win,
invited to spend tho summer months
with my aunt, who then had one of the
finest houses iu tho county of Kildare,
Several regiments wero stationed at the
camp and at a neighboring village, so
you may imagine wo had a very merry
time. The maddest, the merriest, tho
handsomest of ail, was a young Scotch
nontenant, Kinlooh Kinlooh. His
mother was Irish, and had bequeathed
tier good looks and propensity for jok
ing. And now for Kitty, the heroine.
She was the daughter of an old gardener
who lived about a mile away from my
aunt’s house, and of all the distracting
ly pretty women that have made men do
foolish things, I am sure Kilty was one
of the prettiest.
“One day, os a largo party of ns were
standing chattering under the trees,
Kitty passed us with a basket of fruit.
"Kinlooh for tho first time noticed
tho girl, and seemed struck dumb with
amazement.
“He stood at a little distance and kept
his eyes fixed on her.
“It was love from that very moment,
and every one noticed it.
“Kinloeh’s regiment had been ordered
away to another part of Ireland; and
one morning, a few days before ho was
to go, we begged for Ids company to a
picnic, wo had arranged to have with one
or two other families. Ho declined to
go with us.
“ ‘He has got his lady-love to bid
good-by to, I daresay,’ suggested Philip
Grant.
“Kinlooh turned on him with blazing
eyes. We all kept back. They wero
like globes of fire.
“ ‘Confound it, sir!’ ho cried, ‘and
suppose I have I what is that to yon?'
“We all looked at Philip; he was very
white, but he shrugged his shoulders
indifferently, and wisely forbore to
answer.
“Kinloeh’s temper cooled down as
rapidly as it had arisen.
“ ‘I am sorry to dissapoint you girls,’
lie said, gently, ‘but you will have to
excuse me.’ And, bowing, ho walked
off.
“That evening Kinlooh made his way
to the old gardener’s cottage. His face
was pale, but he had a determined look
in the corners of his mouth, and he car
ried his head well thrown hack and
stepped lightly along.
“The girl had just set her father’s
supper before him, and had gone out to
rest In the garden and watoh the still
beauties of the night,
“The air was fresh, and in the heavens
the full moon was hurrying through its
star-spangled course. The reeds in a
neighboring stream rustled and shivered
in the breeze, and a large night-moth or
two came sailing up aud bumped against
Kitty’s white kerchief on their way to
tho fatal candle shining iu the window.
“The girl looked up to the sky nnV
tears filled her eyes.
“‘Why do you weep, Kitty?’said a
voice at her side.
“No need to turn to look for the
speaker! The girl buried her face in
her bands and sobbed afresh.
“ ‘You are going away,’ sho said.
“ ‘Yes, I am going away,’ said Kin
loch; ‘but you will come with me, Kitty,
for you love me. ’
“ ‘I love you, but I shall not accorr
pany you.’
“ ‘But you must. I have spoken to
the old priest and he is ready to marry
us.’
“ ‘Kinlooh,’ she said, looking up into
his face with a sweet, serious smile,
‘you have made mo love you, for I could
not help it; but you cannnot make mo
marry you. ’
“ ‘Ob, but you will, darling, won’t
you, Kitty?’ he went on, eagerly. ‘You
know I can marry now, because I camo
of age the other day, and I have much
more than my pay now. is that what
you are thinking of ?’
“‘How could I think abont that?
Why will you not understand, Kinlooh?
Your proud old father and your silver
haired stately mother, how could they
bear for one of their sons to marry an
Irish peasant girl ?’
“ ‘You have nothing to learn from the
highest lady in the land, my darling,
he said, fondJy; ‘and younger sons are
not expected to marry heiresses.’
“But sho shook her head resolutely.
“ ‘And this is how you lightly- fling
away a man’s happiness for life ?’
“ ‘A few days’ pain now, to save you
years of “egret in the future. ’
“The young man looked at tho girl
perplexed. Where oould she have
learned such sontimeuts ?—where had
sho gained the strength to express them
so freely ?
“Ho then said, slowly and solemnly,
as if taking an oath: ‘Look yonder,
Kitty ! That is the evening star. Ho
surely ns it will shine in tho heavens
five, ton or twenty years, as surely will
my love remain unchanged for you.
Bid me come back when you will, Kitty,
and if I liavo breath in my body and
strength to do it, I will oomo.’
“ ‘Como back iu ten years, Kinlooh.
T will be true to you, and wait till then,
i will try and improve myself—make
myself more worthy of your love.’
“ ‘Keep ns you are, Kitty—remain
unchanged,’ snid the young man joal
ously, ‘lest when I como again I shall
not see in you tho last look I took away
with me, my life, my lovo 1’ he mur
mured, passionately; and kissing her
sweet brow and month, folding her iu
one last embrace, ho sighed ami left
her,
“SI 10 turned to go into the eot-tage.
A largo downy moth which lmd been
humping against tho little window
sailed iu before her, circled thrice round
Iho candle and flow up into its alluring
brightness. The candle flickered and
wont out; the moth dropped down with
a thud upon the table, dead.
“Kitty, with eyes blinded by tears and
with shaking hands, relit, though some
what tardily, the light.
“ ‘Kitty, my girl,’ said tho old man,
pointing significantly to the singed in
sect, ‘don’t boas foolish na that silly
thing. Its eyes were dazzled, and it
had no strength to resist the fatal fasci
nation.’
“ ‘Father,’ snid the girl, stooping
down and kissing his gray locks, ‘you
may trust me.’”
Here Aunt Bell stopped.
“Is it interesting. Shall Igo on?"
“Oh, do I Did he come track ?” said
her niece.
“Well, tho years passed on, and tho
girl was joked and tensed, and had many
offers of marriage; but she was firm
and would listen to none.
“At last tho young fellows grow weary
of their fruitless attempts at love-mak
ing aud the greater part left her alone.
“A few, more unkind, would ask
when she expected her young gentleman
home, and taunted her in cutting
speeches and insinuations.
“Nine years went by, and then there
came the battle of Waterloo, when offi
cers and men went down in hundreds tc
getlier.
"iStill no word from Kinlooh, and
Kilty’s heart, which had never faileil in
its lightness, nor her step in its speed,
now sank and faltered for the first time.
“Early in tho next year —In faot, on
New Year’s night—the officers gavo a
ball, and every girl aud young man for
miles around was invited,
“Girls were in great demand, and I
went down to my aunt’s house especially
for that night.
“1 was anxious to seo Kitty myself,
and to find out how the years had
passed over her head.
“You think, perhaps, twenty-six was
rather old to be called a girl—do you,
Kitty ?
“Well, I felt almost tho same as I did
when I was sixteen, and quite as ready
to enjoy a dance or flirtation, I can as
sure you.
“Kate Daly-—that was her name—
went to help the ladles unshawl them
selves, and to he ready with needle and
thread when an unhappy damsel with
torn skirt or flounce should require her
assistance.
“Bhe was then twenty-eight, and the
yonng girlish beauty had developed into
the most lovely of women. Only when
her face was at rest, and you caught the
suspicion of an anxious heart upon it
would you have guessed her age.
“Bhe wore a pale tea-rose-tinted gown,
with ruffles of lace of her own making
at tho neck and sleeves.
“It was a wild and stormy night with
out, hut it only served to enhance the
brightness and animation of the scone
within.
“Tho dancing of tho high-heeled
shoes and the silvery laughter roso
higher than tho wail of tho wind, and
the tinkling wine-cups drowned all
sound of rain.
“Buddenly there was a lull; we
stopped in our dances; a chill blast
seemed to have entered the room; we
turned and saw a silent, dark figure
standing in tho doorway.
“He was tall and handsome, but his
large black cloak, carefully slung over
his shoulder, was dripping with the rain
and making large pools on the floor.
His legs, hooted and spurred, were mne 1
up to the hips.
“Just st that moment the clock
struck 12, and tho year 1816 had
broken. Borne of the more excitable
girls screamed and ran behind their
partners.
“Was it an apparition? Was it an ill
omen for the coming year ?
“ ‘I seem to frighten you good people.
Does nobody know me ?’
“Kitty at that moment was bringing
in a jug of iced claret at another door.
“She heard tho voice and turned
I round, trembling, with a wild cry, ‘Kin
! loch, Kinlooh, I knew you would come
j back 1’ And amid a crash of breaking
glass—for sho lot tho vessel slip from
her lninds--sho hounded to his side and
then disappeared in the folds of the
great oloak ”
“How splendid, Aunt Belli” said her
niece, drawing a deep breath; "but if
she married him then, I do not see why
she should not have done so before.”
“Ah, but sho was a wise girl, little
one; sho knew it would test his con
stancy and provo if ho really loved her,
A young man’s lovo at twenty-one (as
she knew very well) wonld not he his
choice at thirty-one. ”
“What became of them, Aunt?”
“Oh, they married aud traveled about
a good deal, mid finally both died out iu
India within a few months of each other.
There was one son, and I believe ho is
in (lie army also.”
IT 11 KIIK IS Tine A IIIIK?
Before tho French revolution there
were many ecclesiastics known as tho
ahhes. They were without office or duty,
and picked up, as they were poor, a
meal here and there, among the charit
able. At the houses of tho principal
liohlemuu there was usually a plate left
for some chance abbo who might drop in
at dinuer time.
At that hour it was no uncommon
sight to see the ahhes picking their way
from one nobleman’s house to another.
Rapping at the gate, the hungry eccle
siastic would impure of the reporter,
“Is there a vacant place?” If tho
answer was " No, monsieur,” ho would
walk onward.
This custom will explain a story told
by Rogers, the poet, which illustrates
the horrors of tho French Revolution.
Just after it, had broken out, a party was
dining, one day, at a nobleman’s house,
and among them an abbo. While at
dinner, theoart carrying those condemned
to tho guillotine went by.
All the company ran to the windows
to see flic horrid sight. Tho abbo, being
a short man, tried iu vain to peep on
tiptoe. Determined to see, he ran down
to tho front door. His curiosity cost
him his life, for, as the cart went by, one
of the victims, knowing tho abbe, bowed
to him. Tiio abbo returned the salu
tation.
“What! you are his friend ?” exclaimed
one of tho guards. “Then yon, too,
are an aristocrat. ” “Away with him I”
shouted tho crowd, and tho poor abbo
was seized, thrust into tho cart, and
hurried to tho guillotine.
The company, having satisfied their
curiosity, returned to the table.
“ Where is monsieur, tho abbe ?” asked
a guest, seeing a vacant place. No ono
could answer. Ho was already headless.
Youth's Companion.
THE MONITOR'S CREW.
No Prisßo Money for T liriii lint Any Amount
ol 4jJrtelul KecoMiiltlon.
A sub-committee ot the House commit
tee on Naval Affairs reported to tho full
committee a bill providing for the appro
priation of the Blbo,ooo for the relief of
the officers and crows of tho United Btates
sloop of war Cumberland and United
Btates steamer Monitor, engaged in ac
tion with the Confederate steamer Mor
rimac, in Hampton Roads, on March 8
aud 9, 1862. Representative Harmer, of
Pennsylvania, who prepared the bill, in
his report accompanying it says:
“The committee, aftercareful investi
gation of tho law aud the facts in these
cases, has been unable to find any au
thority for the payment of prize money
in either of them. * * The evi
dence shows that the Merrimao was
neither oaptured nor destroyed by either
of these vessels and the claim to prize
money must be rejected. But while this
is true the evidence presented to the
committee abundantly proves the most
conspicuous gallantry and devoted pa
triotism, as well as extraordinary ser
vices rendered by the officers and crewß
of these ships, which, in the opinion of
your committee, entitles them to a gen
erous and grateful recognition by the
countrv.”
Kate Fiend is very angry at Felt, a
Mormon elder. He one© told her, in
Boston, that no Mormon practiced
polygamy without the consent of the
first wife that women did not object to
polygamy, and that polygamous families
were filled with the spirit of peace. Bhe ;
finds, on visiting Balt Lake City, that ,
his matrimonial career is not proof oi j
happiness incidental to celestial marriage.
Bhe declares that when ho said that j
women never complained of polygamy j
and lived harmoniously in it, he quite
forgot his mother's experience, that of
his father’s plural wives, and lost sight
of his own second wifo’s broken spirit.
Since the introduction of the lawn
mower the lawn has come to ho regarded
as the great feature of a garden. When
it is well kept there is nothing more
beautiful or pleasing than a broad open
spaee of turf, and in the planting and
arranging of trees it should be our en
deavor to keep Iho lawn as open as pos
sible. This can he accomplished by ar
ranging the, trees and shrubs in borders
or belts around the margin, with a line
specimen tree occasionally standing
alone in a prominent position, where its
beauties can tie seen hi the best advan-
NO. 25.
A SUNDAY SERMON.
URI.ATIYR YAI.rfC OF GHNKKOftITY
AMI lil IIIUC AIjITY*
A FtMV Htrlkln* Note* From Boechcr’a Unti
dily Talk.
“That was the Wall street of those
days,” said Mr. Beecher as he read his
text Sunday, commenting upon the
passage, "And ho fell among thieves."
Tho sermon treated of tho relative value
of generosity and liberality. Mr. Beech
er said in his sermon:
“It is right lor ono to feel the influence
of nation, of family, of profession and of
j social circles, but it is wrong to neglect
all outside of it, as if the claims of hu
manity on ns wero oonflned in tho rath
of the nearness of persons to us.”
“Of all facile graces iu Christian
expe— no, iu religious experience, there
is no grace like that of hating. It is
called justice sometimes —standing for
the right; it is called a proper discrimi
nation of character and conduct; it is
called all sorts of things; but the Lord
knows and the devil knows that it is
right down good liatiug that is exorcised
by onlling themselves Christians.”
“The good Samaritan is admired by
all sects and races—and occasionally is
imitated.”
“A habit of generosity is like oil on
machinery, and makes life smooth; and
there is more in it to teach man to
lovo man than in all the preaching in the
world.”
"There are a thousand things that
might gradually lie better for tho inter
pretation of truth iu its larger sphere;
but, after all, an act of kindness brings
God’s angels nearer to man than almost
any other form of teaching.”
"I recollect that the most painful
times in my life, and tho least profitable,
were when folks wero talking religion to
mo. Oh I I did dread a pious man who
was always talking religion, and I made
up iny mind that if I ever got pious -
which 1 never expected—that I would
never bore people with religion. There
isn’t a man, woman or child that can say
J ever ‘talked shop' to them personally,
of my own ncccrd, or that have ever
found me unwilling to talk religion when
they wanted to talk it. I never pnsh
religion on anybody.”
“Liberality endeavors to do more
than a transient kindness. It is study
ing how to do a kindness in suoli a way
that it shall be a wholesale one and nol
j a retail one. It looks along the line of
probabilities and sees where mischiefs
will ho likely to occur, or where benefits
will be likely to ho appreciated or need
ed, and undertakes, by organization, to
extend a kindness down through tho
gem-rations, ”
“Generosity works by sight, liberality
works by faith, and, like ourselves, they
work better when they have both sight
and faith.”
"It is good to relieve one orphan, but
it is hotter to establish an institution
that will relieve ten thousand; it is a
much higher manifestation of true love
and beuevolonoe.”
“Let not liberality oheat generosity;
let not generosity scoff at liborality; let
them go into an allianoe one with the
other."
“Don’t do your good through commit
tees if you can do it personally; the face
of tho giver is better than the thing
given often; but if you can do some
thing through a committee besides what
you do personally do that.”
"It is the selfishness of riches that is
itH bane; it is the laying up for one’s
self; but he that with constant, propel
regard for his own household, yet has an
ambition to go beyond that, and by his
lifo and in it to make men on every side
of him happy, how beroio is suoh a man
and suoh a life 1”
“The man who lives for himself will
hove tho privilege of being his own
mourner when he dies. ”
“l hear men say, ‘Ah! yon are taking
a collection to-day for foreign mission
aries; what are yon church folks doing
in such and suoh a neighborhood ?’ Now,
I have taken notice that the man who
won't give to foreign missions generally
won’t give to home missions. They are
tho men who are always quoting ‘Char
ity begins at homo,’ and with them it
always stavs at home.”
The Beard as a Disguise.
In reply to tho question whether there
is such a thing in real lifo among crim
inals ns tho wearing of false beards, and
that kind of disguise, a detective is
quoted as saying that tho mnko-np of
the stage is not known to the police in
their dealings with rascals. But there
is a good doal of disguising, and it is
generally done by letting the hair grow
or cutting it off, and changing its color.
There are barbers who do that kind of
work at high prices. They got into It in
the bounty-jumping days. A man with
long black hair and whiskers would en
list, get the bounty, and desert. Within
a (lay or two ho wonld turn np again
with red hair and whiskers a little
' shorter. Next time, the hair might bo
yellow, and all of it gone from his chin.
And so on, if he was provident with his
stock of hair ho oould be a half dozen
very different men before getting down
I to a clean face and close-cropped head.
None trifle with God and make sport
of sin so much as those whose way of
livings interfere with their prayers; who
i pray perhaps for sobriety and wait daily
| for an answer to that prayer at a merry
• meeting or a tavern.
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT VVK FIND IN TIIBM TO NIWII.R
OV KH
AN ILLUSTRATION.
Ono of tho I’rofesHors of tho Univer
sity of Texas was engaged in explaining
the Darwinian theory to his class, when
lie observed that they wero not paying
proper attention.
"Gentlemen,” said tho professor,
“when I am endeavoring to explain tho
peculiarities of the monkey, I wish you
would look right at me.”— Texas Sift
ings.
A REMEMRRANOW.
"Remember tho poor,” says an ex
change. Wo will. Wo do. We can’t
forget him. Hooluirged ns #2 a cord for
sawing wood and cut every last stick of
it four inches too long ior any stovo iu
the house. Wo remember him. And
lie’ll remember us, if we oan ever find
him, and hire a man to hold him while
wo starve him to death.— Burlington
Hawkey e,
A GOOD REASON.
“If you will give mo tho reason why
you should go to Congress,” said a voter
to an aspirant, “I will use my iutluenco
for you.” “Why, my dear sir,” replied
the aspirant, “my law practice amounts
to nothing. I want the salary.” Tho
constituent gave him his influence.—
A rkansaw Travcler.
JUVENILE STUDIES.
Little Nell—“ Why, mamma, the sky
is just as blue to-day as it was yester
day.”
“Mamma—"Well, why shouldn’t it
ne, pet?”
"It rained last night.”
“What of that ?”
“You said blue wouldn’t wash.”—
Philadelphia Eve. Call.
COT IS VARIOUS PINOS?
In the pathetic language of Hans
Breitman, many are now inclined to ex
claim :
Oh vot is all thin earthly plisH,
Anil vot in man'll nooceews ;
Anil vot is various oiler thugs,
And vot is habbiuoss?
We rnako deposits in a bank,
SI might way dor pank is preak ;
Wo fail anil smash onr outsides in
Vero rvo a den sdrike make.
Boston A dverlisrr,
ONE BIRTHDAY.
Two brothers in Connecticut married
sisters, and the first soil of each couple
was born on the 29th of February. Tho
moral of this incident seems to bo that
if two brothers don’t want their first sou
to have only ono birthday in four years,
they shouldn't marry sisters.— Norris■
town Herald.
A rUMFYINa PROCESS.
“Yon mustn't he alarmed, Mr.
Lamb,” remarked a Wall-street broker,
"onr recent panio has been simply a
purifying process; 51 attera will bo all
the better for it.”
“So you call it a purifying process, do
you ?”
“Yea; simply that.”
“Well, I gnoss you are right,” Mr.
Lamb sadly acknowledged as ho turned
to go, "it certainly cleaned me out ef
fectually.”—Philadelphia Call.
HOW A GIRL SHAKES HANDS.
I saw a young lady just now shako
nands with a yonng man. She gave him
that flippant member in a perfectly limp
way. He squeezed it and shook it from
the shoulder down, without its giving
any evidence of feeling. Thon she let
it flop by lior side. Now, it isn’t fair.
If you are going to shake hands, shake.
It iB an almost certain sign that a girl is
an Amerioan if sho puts her hand ii:
yours quite impnssivo and leaves it there
till you have done with it. A man natu
rally squeezes it. His first grasp does
not fully ealculnto its limpness, and ho
thinks she may be offended. He gives
it another gentler pressure. He feels
the rings sink into the fingers. He
tries a third time to get some response.
She does not return the squeeze. Bhe
docs hot move it. She does not take it
away. Sho simply does noth
ing at all. Sho looks as if she had for
gotten he had hold of it. It breaks the
man all up, and he drops it in dUgnst,
—San Francisco Chronlole,
BASE-BALL AS SEEN BY 4 OIRL.
A girl’s notion of the national game is
called oft pretty accurately by tho letter
of a young oity lady to her girl chum in
the country. "You must visit me,” she
wrote, “when the base-ball Beasou opens.
There is so much skill and grace dis
played. The pitcher, I think—hut, my I
you never saw a game. I will explain it
to you. The pitcher—a dear little
thing—stands in the middle and throws
a hall at another, who stands in front
with a long stick in his hand. Tho
thrower tries to hit his stick, and the
other young man, who is called tho
knocker, tries to so swing the club that
it will bo impossible for the thrower to
hit tho stick with tho ball. Some of the
knockers become very good at this, and
some of the darlings could stand there
and never have their clubs hit once,
The catcher stands behind the knocker,
and is just too bravo for anything. We
girls think he is tho nicest one in every
clnb. I think the catchers are very cute
and her olo.”—Merchant Traveler.
A Look Ahead.—Everything, says a
foreign journal, looks cheering for the
Universal Peace Society. The Italian
Government has just ordered ten more
sixteen-inch Krupp guns that can send
a solid shot weighing 20,000 pounds
through any plate armor that lias yet
been made.
A friend of a merchant, whoso son
lias recently returned from his studies at
a New York business college, was asking
the old man if the boy had improved his
opportunities. “I should say that he
had. He can imitate anybody’s hand
writing, and he is so expert at figures
that I am afraid to let him touch the
books. ”