The Summerville gazette. (Summerville, Ga.) 1874-1889, August 06, 1884, Image 1

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8 "IT 8 II I H For Bl(wd ’ Skin fin l|g I I I nd Bonos. Quick II II 111 I I cures n<l small j I H I nhjpS, ■ ■ 8 8 P ■ w Kcmedy Sure, safe and satisfactory. Purifies the blood from infancy to old age One bottle proves its superiority. Hereditary Taint and Scrofu lous symptoms cured. Itching Humors and Olandular Swelllnps relieved Vll had IMH M! M IflT I IB I ft Curea Chronic Skin II n ni 1 I ' Diseases. Kczcuia. Sill) 111 I I Itching Humors, 9 $ y 11 I? S Tetter, Ringworm, 111 Boils, Eruptions, v* i I ill I sa 15 imps. Pimples, Pi -lies sjdotches, and all other troubles <>t the-kin ntreoting old and young. Re 2, !-vx Scrofulous. A Glandular Swellings. Tumors.t *varian Tumors. Enlarged Glands. e‘ - uresCatarrh,O/vena HipT)Ueß.*>e, old BLDGDM tTT I II m f'ttrss nil stapes of I 4 Sill ■‘b’l'liilisand Syphi- I II 111 I I litio troubles. Cures J I fill I I leers and tertiary disease of the bones and internal organs cured. Special and speedr * b rering f ; sinfui, 'Oppressed and prolonged menstruation, or "ho are prostrated from long sickness. If BLOOD BALM -ff r, B Tt B vfil please you. One boi -1 curi-- some rases. Send for pamphlet of home tut res. At all Drug Stores. One nettle, sl. BLOOD BALM COMPANY, Atlanta, Oa Ki r sale in Summerville by .1. S. OI.KGHt >RN ,v CO., and TIlOMl’Sf >N Ml. I is. V w - V hew Home fIMm e (* -„r~ ! %TJV ;' | V_. jM St fo rt“• Y , S s^ %•. St ■tt'ToTICULAR. p£ NEV£R "ult’ OUT Of ORDER. ,A $ no cC‘ ,At - • - kFW Hufi®m./'” •* arijfir.. .vE'/lKu l4lLllL f lk-a ) 30 UNION 3QUART HEW YORK 7j^' r.'c ' ! ’ 1 S ILL- f./ L r t C rnr :' • l r.v 1 ‘ Pi j \ 111! CA I N , SUM M FRVf LLK OA ' WL-* N EI IV HiehArm DAVIS The lightest running Shuttle Sewing Machine ever produced, combining greatest simplicity, durability and speed. It is adapted to a greater va riety of practical and fancy work than any other. No basting ever required. For particulars as to prices, &c., and for any desired information, address m DAVIS SEWING MACHINE CO,, WATERTOWN, N. V. 158 Tremont St., Boston, Mass. 1223 Chestnut St,, Philadelphia, Pa. 113 Publio Square, Cleveland Ohio. 40, 48 &50 Jackson St., Chic: . TU. For sale in Summerville bj J. 8. tLEGHORN & CO. ALABASTINE A Superior Substitute for Kalsomine, etf Alahastine Is the first and only preparation made from calcined gypsum rock, for appli cation to walls with a brush, and is fully cov ered by patents and perfected by many years of experiments. It is the only permanent wall finish, and admits of applying as many coats as desired, one over another, to any hard surface, without danger of scaling, or noticeably adding to the thickness of the vail, which is strengthened and improved by each additional coat, from time to time. It is the onlv material for the purpose not de pendent ‘upon glue for its adhesiveness. Alahastine is hardened on the wall by age, moisture, etc., while all kalsornines or whit ening preparations hav>- inert soft chalks and glue for their base, which are rendered soft or scaled in a very short time. In addition to the above advantages, Alahastine is less expensive, as it requires hut one-half the number of pounds to cover the same amount of surface with two coats, is readv for use by adding water, and easily applied by any one. I'o: sale by your Paint Dealer. Ask for Circular containing samples of 12 tints, manufactured only by the Ai.abastink Cos.. y B. Churcii, Manager, Grand Rapids, Mich. Never call a man a fool, my son; if he isn’t already convinced of the fact he will not be likely to take your word for Cijc I'mjcttc. VOL. XI. * PURE * PAINTS ReadyForUse Olives, Terra Cottas nnrt nil tho latest lashionable shades tor CITY COUNTRY OR SEASIDE. Warranted durable and permanent. Descriptive Lists, showing 32 aotual shades, sent on application. For sale by the prinoipal dealers, wholesale and retail, throughout tho country. Ask for them and take no others. BILLINGS, TAYLOR & CO. CLEVELAND, OHIO, *-*- SANDS’ * PATENT TRIPLE IREEZEr^ The only Freezer ever matin having three <1 inti net motions inside the ran. thereby, of course, produo iii;- liner mid pmtM.thor Cream than any othor Fie. z. r on the market. 300,000 in USO. Catalogue and Trice Lit >,ilL,l WHITE MOUNTAIN FREEZER CO., NASHUA, N. H. HINTS A BOUT PUNKS. |]n lo iWhlo' I’p llie Pnrty, and Now to 1 I In vc n Good Time. Tho most important part of a picnic is ! not tho weather or the place or the din i ncr. You may clioohc the most beauti ful spot in the world, and spread the must delicious lunch ever prepared, and yet have Hi*' whole thing a complete failure, simply because the company j was not well selected. Out-of-doors, where people are free from formality, unless they are congenial friends, and ( what Mrs. Whitney culls “Real Folks,” they will be likely to feei ill at ease, and miss the support given by company, clothes and manners. Small picnics, for tliis reason among others, are usually much pleasanter than large pto -lies. Tn making up the party, be sure to leave behind the girl who is certain to be too warm or too cold, or to think some other place better than the one where, she is, and who has “a horrid time" if she has to submit to any per sonal inconvenience for the sake of others ; and with her the boy who loves to tease, and who is quite sure that his way is the only gi od way. Put into their places some others, young or old, who love simple pleasures, and aro ready to help others to enjoy them. Next iu importance to the company is the place. It must not be at a great distance, or you will all be tired, not to say cross, when you arrive there. It roust, be reasonably shady, and not too far from a supply of good drinking water. If the company are to walk, you must be especially careful not to be overbnrdened with baskets and wraps, for the bundles which seemed so light when you started are sure to weigh down much more heavily before you reach your destination. Be careful to have this work fairly distributed. Never start until yon are sure that you know just where you are going, aDd the best way of getting there. Wander ing about to choose a place, and think ing constantly to find one more desir able, is very fatiguing. That matter should be settled beforehand by two or three of the party, and the others should go straight to the spot, and make tho best of it. If any do not like it, they can choose a different place when their turn comes to make the selection. — St. Nicholas for July. '! en years ago a penniless man, with n peculiarly-shaped head, made a bar gain with a London professor of anato my by which the latter was to have the head on payment of the man’s funeral expenses. Meanwhile the man became wealthy, and when be died the other day his friends tried to avoid fulfilling the contract. But the professor insist ed, and the matter is to be brought be fore the law courts. Pending the deci sion, the defunct gentleman has been buried with his bead on his shoulders Angelica fat a lecture) —“How rude of that couple to go out, Algernon Algernon (glancing toward the door with a sigh that signifies he thinks tho lecture a bore)—“Yes, but how happy thev are now !’’ SUMMHRVILLK, GEORGM, WEDNESDAY EVENING, AUGUST fi, 1884. MAROARRT. PT ROSE HAUTMUOK TBOISPR, Author of “Curfew Must Not Ring To-Night. Oh, Margaret, beautiful Margaret, in llie huvli ot the twilight oold, The sun on a glittering fchtono has uot In a cloud of ambar and gold, And the great, green waves with their whit caps wet O’er tli© beach to thy feet have rolled. Oh ! w hat is the charm of the great, green sea The sea with its roar °ndits gloom? The treacherous sea, how it shouts in gle* O’er each jewel-decked coral tomb. Art waiting the lorur who went from thee In the light of a golden moon? Art waiting the lover whoso kiss one day Was pressed on thy quivering lips ? The lover who sailed from your side away In one of those swift-sailing ships; O’er the waves that bright in the sunshine lav ’Neath the glow of his linger tips? Whenever tho hush of the twilight creeps O’er the earth, with her fair feet wot; When the stars come out and the great work sleeps, When the murmuring waters fret On the sandy shore, then she comes and weeps. Lonuly, sorrowful Margaret. Then she sHs ’mid the gleaming sands By the shadowy ivied wall, And over the clasp of her trembling hands Like a show’r the tear drops fall, While the sea brings whispers of far-off lands And the blue sky bends o’er all. “Oh ! bring hack my lover to me,’’ she cries, “Must I die by tho sea alone ? Oh ! pitiful Father, in Paradise, Stoop down from Thy glorious throne, And grant to the light of my waiting eyes, One glimpse of his face, only one.” And the sea rolls in with a mighty swell, Will it bring a curse or a crown ? For no echoing murmur comes to toll Of the homo-bound ship that went down 'Mid the hidden reefs, with never a knoll From the slumbering harbor town. All about her the water moans and raves, Who is drenched with the falling sloot. Homething lies dark in the arms of the waves Where the sky and the waters moot. Lo ! a victim snatched from tho coral graves Ik cast on the beach at her feet. Oh ! beautiful Margaret, pale and fair, By tho sea no longer alone; For two faces lie in the midnight there With their features like chiseled stone, And the sea weed drifts from hiH tangled hair lo the sunav locks of hor own. MIIS. MILLS’S SPUING SUIT. BY MAIIY N. BUEBOOTT. “Now,” Haiil Mrs. Mills, as she took her serai-annual dividend from the en velope—“now I will have a spring suit; it’s high time, too, and I mean to have it made by Furbelow. Onoe in my life I want a dress that will fit like a glove and look stylish. I'm dead tired of be ing dowdy, and running about in ready made gowns that hang on me like a bag, and ravel apart if one looks at them. 1 think I will have a gray Henrietta doth and gray velvet. I saw one at an ‘open ing’ that was too lovely for anything— but a wedding. I am so sick of black cashmere and black silk; it seems to me I've never worn anything else. To be sure, black is more economical; your next neighbor can’t be certain whether yon had your black gown tliis spring or last, and it’s becoming and lady like. I shcnldn’t care to have Mrs. Brown say, ‘There goes Mrs. Mills in her everlast ing gray gown; whon shall we see the last of it?’ Perhaps I should get to be known as the woman in gray; and then gray spots so easily, and benzine isn't all that fancy painted it. To be sure, it would dye—and shrink. Brown is a durable color, and not so pretentious. I could never wear a gray gown except on fete days; still that gray gown has haunted my imagination; it’s like a poem, like the first sight of the silver catkins, the first sound of the robbin. However, I’ll go into town, and get pat terns, and see Furbelow.” So Mrs. Mills went in to town, and btained patterns at the beet shop; pat terns of velvet, of Henrietta-cioth, of cashmere, of armure, of bonrette, of bison-cloth and what not; patterns of grey, of London smoke, of ashes of roses, of clover red, Then she pro ceeded to Furbelow’s, and looked at fashion plates, and asked questions. “Here's a gray we have just finished for Mrs. Hyson, of Mount Vernon street: It's thought to be very chic" said tho assistant. “Our price for making is forty-five dollars only.” Mrs. Mills sighed. It was plain she could not have a gown made by Furbelow, fit her never so wisely. Her check was but for fifty dollars. When sbe reached home with her patterns, in rather a pleasant frame of mind- for even the selection of pat terns is a kind of shopping which ex hilarates the feminine heart, more or less—she found Mrs. Armstrong waiting for her. “You see,” explained Mrs. Armstrong, •we are getting up a testimonial for dear Mr. Gluoose —his thirtieth anni versary—and we knew yon would wish to add something; all of our best people has given. Miss Clapp gave fifty dol lars; nobody has given less than five ex cept old Mrs. Blunt, and you know how stingy she is. She gave a doliar.” Mrs. Mills gave five dollars. “She oouldn’t do less,” said Mrs. Armstrong afterward. “I was determined she shouldn’t get off with a dollar.” “That rather cuts into my spring suit,” said she; “but I can have it made without the velvet, I suppose. ” She returned to her patterns next day, and meditated upon them; it was so hard to decide. If gray shouldn’t happen to become her. Brown might look okl womanish. Black was the safer, of course. She consulted with her friamls and with several of her feminine rela tives. She made np her mind in favor of gray on Monday, and ohose brown on Tuesday. She found her attention wandering in oliuroh from the preaohar’s text to the parishioners’ toilettes. The woman who hesitates is lost, w# are told, and Mrs. Mills was still debating the subject when n letter arrived from her dearest friend. “You will bo glad to hear” (she wrote) “that my wedding djty is set for Hie 29th. You must come and stop hero. It will boa quiet affair, without much dress. Malcolm’s partner has sent me suoh a lovely necklace. In haste. “Neblih.” “That means n wedding present,” thought Mrs. Mills. "She gave me such a beautiful vinaigrette when I was mar ried; and ton dollars is all I can spare. Well, I suppose I oan get my gown for thirty-five, and have a dressmaker come to the house; that will be cheaper. Of course it won’t fit liko Furbelow’s.” And she went to look up a wedding present for ten dollars; and as slio couldn’t find anything for just ten dollars that suited the oireumstanoes of her friend, and us she had the money in hand, she paid fifteen for the loveliest piece of brie-a brae, that had jusi been marked down from twenty dollars. “I needn't give so much for tho material for my gown,” sho refleoted, as she counted hor re maining ducats. “Have yon decided about your spring suit yet?" asked a friend, later. “Is it to be gray or brown ?” “I don’t know,” answered Mrs. Mills. ‘I have been obliged to spend some of my money, and that makes it difficult to decide.” It was a few days afterward, when sbe had happened at a neighbor’s in tiro evening foi a game at, whist, that that the conversation foil upon the Cin cinnati sufferers. Everybody expressed great commiseration. “Yes,” said Mr. Salem, one of tlie guests present, “we are all very sorry, but it doesn't keep us aw,ike nights, and wo don’t tike to abridge our own material comforts for their sake; we are sorry in a poetical, immaterial way. Now who of us would give our personal adornments for their benefit ? 1 mean to pass round the hat, mid see who is in earnest about this In ness. Hi re goes my seal ring, my i' iiipiio, for an example; it came from K ine, and was blessed by the Pope.” “And hero go my ear-rings,” said a lady present. “I always disliked them 1” ‘ “Anil here’s my locket,” cried the hostess; "lockets have gone out of fashion.” “I liavo no ornaments tli givo,” said Mre. Mills. "You have a tiny gold chain around your neck, Mrs. Mills,” whispered her neighbor. “Do you wear it for a eh arm ?” “Mrs. Mills has charms enough with out it,” said Mrs. Langworthy, aside, at her elbow. “Ilnshl” returned Mrs. Mills. “I have my pocket-book. Perhaps ten dol lars will answer quite as well: it is the smallest hill in it.” “Oh, give him tho chain—ho only asked for ornaments—and save your money," advised a friend. But Mrs. Mills only replied with a flush, and threw in a ten-dollar bill, mentally calculating the shrinkage of her spring suit, perhaps. "Twenty dollars is rather a small amount for a spring suit,” she reflected later. “Let me see, ten yards at a dol tur a yard—it’s no use to buy cheaper, for the elbows will be out In no time if I do; that leaves ten dollars for the dressmaker, linings, buttons and extras. I'll ask how much Miss Slasher has a day.” “Three dollars a day is my price, madame,” reported Slasher; “and I might have it done in three days if you are in a hurry. I suppose you have a maohine ?” "No." “I could bring mine, but that’s a do! lar extra.” "And nothing left for linings and ex tras," thought Mrs. Mills. “I must give up Slasher too." Sho went home lost in thought. Hor spring suit was a problem which would have vexed New ton’s ingenuity to solve: the laws of gravitation were trifling in comparison; and while she worked over its solution an acquaintance who had seen better days rang her bell. “You can’t gness what I came for,” she said, coloring furiously, and un folding a lace fichu. “You know I got into debt when the children had the measles, and just now I want ten dollars desperately. Now here’s this fichu— what earthly use is it to me, a poor widow doing her own house-work ? 1 haven’t worn it for ten years. I see they’re coming in again, and I thought maybe you could give mo ten dollars for it, and not feel cheated.” “But, Mrs. Knowles, it’s worth fifty at least. I couldn’t think of giving yon ten dollars for it; it would be like grind ing the face of the poor. But why dont you rafHe it ?” “I don’t want to publish my poverty, that’s all. I don’t mind an old friend like you knowing it; it’s patent enough anyway. But when yon raffle anything people always feel as If they were con ferring an everlasting favor upon you, and these who don’t draw tire prize Miink thoy’ve made yen a present. I don’t care if it is worth a fortune. I want ton dollars now more than I over almll again." “But I will lend it to you—l will givo it to you. I have ten dollars that I don’t exactly know what to do with. Do let me have tho rare happiness of mak ing a present.” “No; let me pawn the fiolm to you— that’s a dear I and maybe I'll be able to redeem it some day; and if I can't, maybe you’ll be able to pay me what you think it’s worth. Now. is it a bar gain ?” And Mrs. Knowles went home with her money, ami Mrs. Mills laid Hie fichu in tho drawer and counted her change. “Well, I must have a gown,” she Raid; and before the remaining ten dollars should molt away she wont out and bought ten yards of black bunting. “A black gown is always safe, espo- C'nlly for a widow,” she thought, and lio purchased the lust Sazar pattern, and hired a sowing machine for a week. And while sho puzzled over tho paper pattern, Mr. Lungworthy dropped in. Before she married, Mr. Langworthy had been a lover of Mrs. Mill’s, and there had been n lovers’ quarrel, and Mr. Mills had stopped Into the breach he had helped to make. All that had happened years ago—Mrs. Mills would have told you, when she w as very young and foolish. “Dressmaking, eh?” said Mr. Lang worthy. “Why is this thus?” “I don’t know why T can’t mako a gown as woll as Furbelow.” “Is this the gray cashmere and velvet with which you wore to astonish tho natives ?” “The very same.” “You should not give five dollars to Mr. Glucose, nor fifteen for Miss Nel lie’s wedding gift, nor ten to Mre. Knowles, nor ton to the Cincinnati—” “How did yon know Mr. Lang worthy ?” “Mrs. Armstrong told me of the first indesoretion. I assisted yon to select the wedding present, Mrs. Knowles confided in me, and I saw the ten dollars drop into Mr. Salem’s hat for Cincinnati. Let mo ask, by-the-way, why you didn't put, in the necklace you wore that night. Was it because yon had forgiven the donor, and loved the gift for his sake ?” “Perhaps so,” answered Mrs. Mills. It was a few days later when an ex pressman left a lingo box and a tiny let ter at Mrs. Mills’s door. “Dear Cochin” (the letter began),— "I’ve just lost an uncle in the Cincin nati flood, a great-uncle whom I never aw, anil hardly overheard of; but papa says wo must wear black, and here’s my lovely gown, lhat Furbelow just sent homo, going a-begging. As yonr gowns used to fit mo to n T when I visited at your house in the days of my impoenni osity—that word’s so big I’m not sure of the spelling—perhaps you won’t mind accepting this from your loving cousiu, “Looia. “P.B. —I oan’t bear to part with it, but it’s no use to me, and will bo out of style before I can wear it.” It was a gray silk and velvet, a per fect symphony of a gown, tho vory shade Mrs. Mills had coveted. “It. will answer for my wedding dress,” sho said, with a little blush. — Harper's Bazar. The Holland Succession. The serious illness of William 111., King of Holland, and of his sou tho Prince of Orange, heir to the crown, renders the question of the succession a matter of grave importance to tho Dutch people. The long existing sense of dan ger to the national autonomy, both of Belgium and Holland, from the reoog nized longing of Prussia for the ag grandizement of these two countries, was exhibited by King William during his recent visit to Leopold 11. at Brus sels, when at a banquet, addressing the general officers present, he alluded to a possible union of the armies of the two countries to oppose invasion of one or the other by some Power which he failed to designate. Last year the two kings had a friendly meeting at Spa, and the <nimte cordiale existing between them is noticeable. King William iB not liked by the Hollanders. He is irascible, overbearing and takes no pains to in gratiate himself with his subjects. Queen Emma, on the contrary, is tho delight of the people, hor affiable man ners, her charming person and the easo with which she manages the ill-tem pi rod old monarch having made her a universal favorite. It is not strange, therefore, that a large and powerful party should be preparing to support her for the regency in the event of the demise both of the King and the Crown Prince, and that determined objection should 1)0 Hindi) to Bismarck's intrigues it: favor of the house of Nassau. Gcr- UM.ey, which is hungry both for Ant werp and for the mouth of the Rhine, ma v yet find herself confronted by the Belgian and Dutch armies, which com bined would be by no means an ignoble foe. The plan adopted last year in London ot sending po- r and delicate children into tlie country for three weeks in mid summer has proved very successful. They are boarded iu cottagers’ families at the rate of about 31.25 per week. Manchester and other towns arc making an effort to the same end, NO. 2!L GREENLAND ICE PACKS Till-: M’PTTRINTKVDKN f OF MINFN FOR TUB ItY*TFl<\, Why Wo llnvo lu feuttli l,urgn (liiiiiillMph A II nil l.uiik AliVnd. [From the New York Herald.] The report of the ice packs near Greenland, just brought by the bark Fluorine to Philadelphia, clears up the mystery of the early efflux of ieo on the Atlantic this year. The barks Fluorine and Hilioa arrived at Arsnk Fiord, April 9, from Hamburg, and took rofugo in the harbor of Kyrtalik. Tho Silica, after having been driven north to lati tude (ill degrees, longitude G 4 degrees west, encountered a broad ioe belt, and subsequently sailed along a pack fifty miles, which was so high that one could not see over it. The superintendent of the mines at Ivigtut, South Greenland, stated that the past winter lias beou ex traordinarily severe for frost, snow and gales, and the adjacent fiord froze deeper and further out from shore than ever before. Fortunately for the navigation of the Arctic seas beyond tho great rush of heavy ice from Davis’s Strait ceased after May i, and the Fluorine encoun tered no ioe in coming southward. This fact suggests that tho ioe masses in the approaches to Smith’s Sound may have thinned out in some degree by tho time tho relief steamers—tie Thetis, the Bear, and the Alert—reach that latitude. It may, however, be found that tho ex traordinary stream of ioe which for some months has been moving off the Labra dor coast, will not bo exhausted till the middle of next month. The exceptional iciness of the Green land seas last winter may have been, as Dr. John Rao has reoeutly suggested, tho indirect cause of the exceptionally mild winter of 1884, in the British Islands. The natural effect of so large a flow of oold water from the north, meeting the warm Gulf Stream at right angles, says an English explorer, would ‘ not only be to deflect the latter to the southward of its usual course, oausiug it to strike our shores further south, but also in much greater volume, because a much larger supply is required to re place the increased quantity from the Arctic.” This reasoning is sound, but it would seem as if both the phenomenal glacial flow west of Greenland and the mild British winter are rather to bo ascribed to one cause—tlie prevalence of a vast cyclonic area of low barometer over and east of Iceland, which would induce powerful polar or northwesterly winds in Baffin’s Bay, and equally strong equatorial currents over the Brit ish Islands. If this be the case, as the present summer advances and the seas northeast of Iceland grow warmer, this area will move farther to the eastward, possibly subjecting Great Britain, espe cially Scotland, to occasional boreal winds in July, which may be injurious to the grain crops. Dickens in this Country. Ben I’erley Poore recalls poor “Boz” iu the reminiscences which he is writing for the Boston Bulletin in the following way : "Charles Dickens, when he first visited Washington in 1842, was justen taring his thirtieth year. He was a middle-sized, somewhat fleshy person, and he wore a brown frock coat, a red figured vest, and a fancy scarf cravat that ooncealed the collar and was fas tened to the bosom in rather voluptuous folds by a double pin and chain. His hair, which was long and dark, grew low upon the brow, had a wavy kink where it sturted from the head, and was corksorewed as it fell on either side ol his face. His forehead retreated gradn ally from the eyes, without any marked protuberance save at the outer angle, the Upper portion of which formed a prominent ridge a little within tho as signed position of tho organ of ideality. The eyeballs completely filled their sockets. The aperture of the lids was not large nor tho eye uncommonly clear or bright, but quick, moist and ex pressive, The nose was slightly aquiline, the mouth of moderate dimen sions, making no great display of the teeth, the facial muscles occasionally drawing tlie upper lip most strongly on tho left side of the mouth opened in speaking. His features, taken alto gether, were well proportioned, of a lowing arid cordial aspect, with more animation than grace, and more intelli gence than i; iiity. “Scat, You Wretch I” A citizen of a hamlet in Kidder wont to the cars in White Haven one day to see his favorite daughter off. Securing her a seat, he passed out of the cars and went round to her window to say a parting word, as is frequently done on such occasions. While he was passing out the daughter left the soat to speak to a friend, and at the same time a prim old maid from Wilkesbarre took tho seat and moved up to the window. Un aware of the important change inside, ho hastily put his face up to the window and hurriedly exclaimed; “One more kiss, sweet pet.” In an other instant the point of a blu9 cotton umbrella caught his seductive lip, fol lowed by the passionate injunction: “Scat, you gray-headed wretch I” and be scatted QUAKER CITY WIT. A IIATim OF JOKEIS FIIOM THU “BVIiNINU CAI,L. MAKING! PROGRESS. Fond Parent “Woll, Johnny, how are you getting along nt school ?" Johnny—“Oh, first rate. I started on third, but I am on first now.” “Glad to hear it, my son. Always try to ho first. There is fifty cents for yonr industry.” “Ain’t that nice I I’ll try to get higher yet.” “Higher? now can you ite higher , tlmn first ?” “Easy enough. I can get to be short step or pitcher." DROPPING THE R. Minks—“ The New Yorkers ‘ :\tf tiro letter ‘r’ as much as the Flight t do tho •b.”’ Fiuks—“l noticed that in speaking they are quite apt to give the ‘r’ tho goby.” “That probably accounts for their very tender treatment of their big thieves.” “In what way?” "Instead of putting them in cells they keep them in luxuriously furnished apartments. ” “What lias that to do with the letter ■r ? > ■> “Why, don't yon see, they drop au ‘r’ from arrest uud it becomes a-rest.” A DESIIIAnLi: STYLE OF MAN. “Miss Smith,” lie remarked, ns they seated themselves in the ice-cream saloon, “will you begin on vanilla and follow it up with lemon and chocolate, or would you prefer lire chocolate first ?” On tho way home he asked her to marry him, and whatever sho said it wasu’t “No.” SPEAKING FROM OBSERVATION. Little Nell—“Mamma gave me a strawberry. Ain’t it big ?” Little Jack—“ She gave me oue, too. Here it is. It’s just as big as yours.” "Ain’t that nice ? Let’s pretend it's a strawberry festival 1” “But it don’t seem like a festival I” “Why don’t it?” “There’s too many strawberries.” THREE OBJECTIONS. Jones—“l liavo a great mind to buy n bicyole. ” Smith—“ What for, pray 0 ” "To ride on, of oonrse. A friond of mine who is a dealer in bicycles says they have many merits and only threo objections.” “Did ho tell yon what the ohjeoHons were ?” “Well, no.” “I had one once. Your friend Is rivht. A bicycle has but three objections. The first one is that you are liable to break an arm; the second ono is that you urn liable to break a leg ” “Good gracious 1” “And the third is that you are liable to break your neck.” BIG WORDS. Tt is never well to uso big words when small ones will express the same mean ing. A lady who was making noall on some acquaintances observed that the furniture hod boon changed, and re marked to the lady: “You have been metamorphosed, haven’t you?” “Y-e-s,” sni.l tiro other hesitatingly. “You mean caleimined, I suppose; it looks muoh better, doesn’t it?” “What caused your little boy’s sickness?” asked a plain mother of a mother whose little son wan very ill. “He was climbing a ladder," said thelady, “andlost his equilibrium.” “Poor little fellow,” said the sympa thetic woman; “do buy him another; he’ll be more careful the next time 1” “Did you find the people indigent?” asked a clorgyman of a wealth t mem ber of his church who had been •: ailing on some vory poor families. ‘‘Oh, dear, no,” answered the lady; "they i-re re spectable, but as poor ns poverty,”— New York Observer. SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING. Mr. Purseproud—“No, sir, you shull not marry my daughter. ” Augustus—“ Your objection, sir.” Mr. Purseproud—“Whoever marrum my daughter must earn her.” Augustus—“Oh! it’s all right then. If there is no law against cremation whon the time comes I’ll urn her." DIFFERENCE IN MILK. Jones —“Wliat a lot of lunatios there are in this world. A New York crank thinks he oan Jive sixty days on a milk diet. ” Smith—“ Milk contains all the ele ments of the human blood. Why do you oall that experimenter a lunatic?" Jones “Because he intends to try it with New York milk." A BAD BTJSINEBS. Minks—“ Why, howde do, Ftuks ? Where have you been ?" Finks—“ Right here. I have changed my business." “What aro you doing now ?” “Manufacturing burglars’ tools, ’’ “What ?” “Manufacturing burglars’ tools.” “Great Cassar I And you coulees ‘.f ) How do yon know that I won’t betray you ?’’ “Tell everybody you wish. All She world knows it, however.” “Was there ever such shamelessness‘ Well, what kind of burglars’ S'Aila dc you manufacture, anyhow ?” “Account books for Wall street Anna.’ Increased Population. The Chili au newspapers contain some curious Kiatistics concerning the occupa tion of L mi by their country’s troops. They estimate at 9,000 the number of children born there of Peruvian mo thers and Chilean soldiers during 33 months, and, as a great part of the troops have gone heme already, and in many cases taken these mothers and children along with tlum by permission of tho Chilean goveri m int, and the oc cupation is expected to cease altogether n August, they compute the accession to tlie population of Chile from this source at 14,000,