The Summerville gazette. (Summerville, Ga.) 1874-1889, September 10, 1884, Image 1

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If] j I|U|P&53 yjfllllUEHS n.Mn U P ” rifiea lho blood from lnijuuy to old ngo. Oue bottle prove* in superiority. Hereditary Taint and Scrofu* rJSfr?’ m P t ?® , a 0,, SS a nd. l!ohin * Humor* and Glandular Swellmps rcliexcl. All bad sIU BUM IftT* fl SI i ft Cnm Chronic Skin II ? H N| R I * Wieases, Kuzcma. Uhliilulr^l liintcluv-, >pTotvhea, and all other troubles and the'•kin affecting old and young He d'iee-< >erofuioua. Ji Glandular Swellings. Tuiiinm.i ivariuu Ttimors,Enlarged Glands, ete. Cures Catarrh,Ozvenn Ilin Disease, old i BLDOD BSLM 3P* fTi T M it i I ft PUT*B dll Stages of Rn! JNlfessss llu I miiu •• i : ! 1 > disease of the tonesand ■!.! /'inai organ ur 1 Special and speedv ■H r Ito females Buttering from painful, I ■ ' ’ !’ r, ‘ ss °d and prolonged menstruation, or 1$ 1000 BALM 1 ; iI:. II r. nTT j; wilt plaa.vOne liof T "‘ ti-re- Rome Send for pumplilet of hum, euro.,. At *ll Drug Stores. one bottle SI BLOOD BALM COMPANY. Atlanta. Ga. For sale in Summerville by .1, S. (LEGHORN A CO., and TMiiMl'S' >N 1111.1, . Ip* newHome Q:el n 9>/ fi h 1| >cl| k i;i --■ niy SrFECT' ■ p.pJlfi I,LAR P- |INE^ f „ T ™, (and ’AS N0 EQUAL —...- NEWHO^^machiHEO f 30 UNION SQUARC NEW YORK *'(?*, u A I Li.. f/AS3. GA. FOR GALE BY — V I'l I A Ii ! r cfc (M IX, SUMMI'ItYI \AAI, ('• A DiVIS The lightest running Shuttle Sewing Machine ever produced, combining greatest simplicity, durability and speed. It is adapted to a greater va riety of practical and fancy work than any other. No basting ever required. For particulars as to prices, &c., and for any desired information, address FHE DAVIS SEWING MACHINE C 0„ WATERTOWN, N. Y. 158 Tremont St., Boston, Mass. 1223 Chestnut St„ Philadelphia, Pa. 113 Public Square, Cleveland, Ohio. 46, 48 & 50 Jackson St., Chicago, 111 For sale in Brnmnerrille by J. S. CLEGHOKN ,fc CO. ALA 3 AST INF. A Superior Substitute for Kalsomine. etc / r Alahaetino is the /';■-/ and o’?/>/ preparation made from nltiu i , -uni l torapp cation to '.vaiL wif li aln isli, ami ' rrnl by |>at. ills and |rfe<-u-il by ;aai,., ; of expcrinif ii;lt is tl:o only Jivi'auuiea', wall finish, and admiM of applying as maay coats as desired, one over another, to a-V hard surface, without danger of scaling, or noticeably adding to tlm thickness of tho wall, which is strengthen. ,1 and improve 1 by cadi additional cot, from time to hm--. p j the only material for the purpose not de pendent, upon glue for Its adhesiveness. Alabastine is hardened on the wall by age, moisture, etc., while all kalsomines or whit ening preparations have inert soft chalks and glue for their base, which are rendered soft or scaled in a very short time. In addition to the above advantages, Alabastine is less expensive, as it rerpii , but one-half the number of pounds to cover the same amount of surface with two coats, is ready for use by adding water, and easily applied by any one. For sale by your Paint Dealer. Ask for Circular containing Samples of 12 tints manufactured only by the Alabastine Co.’ H. B. Chckcu, Manager, Grand Rapids, Mich It is said that by the following sim ple method almost instant relief of t ar ache is afforded: Put five drops of chloroform on a little cotton or wool ir, the bowl of a clay pipe, then blow the vapor through the stem into the aching SOT, €l)c &ttntntfnrilU (iPiycttc. VOL XI. v- PURE PAINTS ReadyForUse Olives, Terra Cottas and all the latest fashionable shades for CITY COUNTRY OR SEASIDE. Warranted durable and permanent. Descriptive Lists, showing 32 actual shades, sent on application. For sale by the prinoipal dealers, wholesale- and retail, throughout the country. Ask lor them and take no others. SILLINBS, TAYLOR & CO. CLEVELAND, OHIO* *-*- SANDS’ PATENT TRIPLE! .MOTioNfiga Freeze^ The only Freezer * vermiulo havlnp throe <i;*tlnot motions inside tin* van, thereby, of produc ing finer and uraoothi-r Cream than any oilier l ieezer oil the market. 300,000 in use. Cafcil.-pm* and Price I.it failed upon application. WHITE MOUNTAIN FREEZER CO., NASHUA. N. H. A SOi ll lY liEld.l.'S IH>\V.NI !IL Tlm* Opiii in lln Ini l*ionipt* Mrr In I‘*ly Ili*r 11 ohm’ mid < oiiHori Will* >(■#•©**• A letter from Baltimore says: There is now pending in a court of equity iu tiiis city a divorce suit which lias brought to light particulars of a most revolting character, illustrating in a startling and distressing manner the blighting effects of the opium habit. Owing to the high social standing of tho parties involved the greatest secrecy has been observed and the names are withheld from publication. It is known, however, that the unfortunate victim of the deadly drug was until her marriage in 1869 a noted society belle, living on the Eastern Shore. She graduated with high honors and upon entering society was recognized as the belle of the county, which boasted many beautiful women. She hail scores of admirers, bnt gave her hand to a gentleman living iu tho same county, of equal social rank and wealth. The wedding was solemn ized with great eclat and was one of the most prominent social events of tho Eastern Shore. For several years the married life of the couple was ono of great happiness. Three children blessed the union. Soon after the birth of the last child it was observed that the lady became subject to fits of melancholy, at times taking no interest in anything around her and again being bouyant and cheerful. An old and trnsted ser vant finally discovered that the wifo was a confirmed opium eater. Every effort was made by the distracted husband to break her of tlio habit, but without success. Two years ago she disappeared—still young and pretty— and though detectives were employed, no trace of her could bo found. Re cently a policeman of this city observed among the names of persons sent to the House of Correction that of the missing woman, whom he had known in youth. Upon her discharge he traced her to one of the vilest dens in this city, kept by a colored woman. The officer notified tlio husband, and a few days ago they went together to the place, and the husband found the long-lost wife—his beautiiul bride of a few years before—in the com pany of a coarse, brutal-looking negro. The wretched man sprang forward to destroy her, but was restrained by the policeman. All traces of the woman’s former beauty had disappeared and she was almost nnreeogniziblo even to her husband. Evidence for the divorce suit was obtained and the opium victim left to her fate. In conversation she appeared to be wholly depraved and did not manifest the slightest regret for what she had done. She was unmoved, except when allusion was made to her children, when she betrayed some little emotion. A whiter in the East says of a camel: “It travels at a slow, lounging pace, be yond which it is dangerous, with nine camels out of ten, to urge them, or else, as Asiatics say, they ‘break their hearts’ and die ‘literally’ on the spot.” The district messenger boy seems to have much the same nature.— Boston Post, sr.M.MLKYII.LR GEORGIA, V EDNESDA\ LVEN ING. SEN'EMIIER 10, 1881. MY IA) YE AND /. We loved ouch other, my love anti I; And the wind sighed low through the toweled corn. ! The bobolink Bang in the dewy morn, And the brook ran merrily by. We loved each other, my love and I; And the quail piped low mid the yellow corn, Wo heard in the distance the h tint Hman'n horn, And the leave* wore brown and dry. We looked to the future, my love and TANARUS, The future so crowded with hopes and fears, That turns our smiles so often to tears, As the days pass wearily ly. He spoko of tlio time when wo two should dwell Together beneath fair Southern skies, Where the rose in its fragrance never dies, And love hears no parting knell. The corn was garnered long years ago, The bobolink’s song is heard no moru; Only a shadow falls through tho door Whcro lie used to conic and go. Tho sea Is wide, and it lies between My love and TANARUS, my love ami I; Where tho flowers bloomed dead leaves now lie, Ami tho grass o’er his gravo is green. ItEHECCA ItUTKK SPRIN(IKR. A SPECIAL CONSTABLE. BY CHAItIiKS KRADK. Two women, sisters, kept tho toll bar at a village in Yorkshire. It stood apart from the village and they often felt un easy at night, being lone women. One (lay they received a considerable sum of money, bequeathed them by n relation, and that set Iho simple souls all in a flutter. They had a friend in tho village, the blacksmith’s wife; so they went and told their fears. She admitted that theirs was a lonesome place, and sho would not livo there, for one, without a man. Her diseonr.se sent them home downright miserable. The blacksmith’s wifo told her hus band all about it when he came in for his dinner. “The fools !” said he; “how is anybody to know they have got brass iu the house ?” "Well,” said the wife, “they make no secret of it to me; but yon need not go for to tell it to all the town.—poor souls I” “Not I,” said the man; “hut they will publish it, never fear; leave women folk alone for making their own trouble with their tongues. ” There the subject dropped, as man and wife have filings to talk about be side their neighbors. The old women at the toll-bar, what with their own fears and their Job’s comforter, began to shiver with appre hension as night came on. However, at sunset tho carrier passed through tho gate, and at sight of his friendly face they brightened up. They told him their care, and begged him to sleep in tho house that night. “Why, how can I?” said he; “I’m dne at ; bnt I will leave yon my dog.” Tho dog was a powerful mastiff. The women looked at each othor ex pressively. “Ho won’t hurt us, will he?” sighed one of them, faintly. “Not he,” said the carrier, cheerfully. Then he called the dog into the house and told them to lock the door, and went away whistling. The women were left contemplating the dog with that tender interest appre hension Is sure to excite. At first he seemed staggered at this off-hand pro ceeding of his master ; it confused him ; then he snuffed at the door; then, as the wheels retreated, he began to see plainly he was an abandoned dog; he delivered a fearful howl and flew at the door, scratching and barking furiously. The old women fled the apartment, and were next seen at an upper window, screaming at the carrier: “Come hack ! come back, John 1 He is tearing the house dowm 1” “Drat the varmint 1” said John, and came back. On the road lie thought what was best to be done. The good-natured fel low took his great-coat out of tho eart and laid it down on the floor. The mastiff instantly laid bimrelf on it. “Now,” said John, sternly, “let us have no more nonsense. Yon take charge of that till I come back, and don’t ye let nobody steal that there, nor t’ wives’ brass. There, now,” said he, kindly, to the women. “X shall ho hack this way breakfast time, and ho won’t budge till then.” “Aud he won’t hurt us, John ?” “Lord, no! Bless your heart, he is as sensible as any Christian —only, liord sake, woman, don’t ye go to take the coat from him, or you’ll be wanting a new gown yonrself, arid maybe a petti coat and all.” XTe retired, and the old women kept at a respectful distance from their pro tector. He never molested them; and, indeed, when they spoke cnjolinglv to him he even wagged his tail in a dubious way. But still, as they moved about, he squinted at them out of his bloodshot eye in a way that checked all desire on their part to try on the carrier’s coat. Thus protected, they went to bed earlier than nsual, but they did not un dress; they were too much afraid of everything, especially their protector. The night wore on, and presently their sharpened BeDses let them know that the dog was getting restless, he snuffed, and then lie growled, and then lie got up, and pattered about, muttering to him self. Straightway, with furniture, they barricaded the door through which their protector must pass to <h vour them. Hut bye-and-hye, listening acutely, they heard a scraping and a grating out side tho window of the room whore tho dog was, and he continued growling low. This was enough; they slipped out at tho back door, to save their lives; they got into tho village. It was pitch dark, and all the houses black but two, ono was tho public house, casting a tri angular gleam across tho road a long way off, and tho other was the black smith's house. Here was a piece of for tune for the terrified women. They burst into their friend’s house. “Oh, Jane ! tho thieves are come !” and they told her in a few words all that had hap pened. “La !” said she; "how timorous you are 1 ten to ono he was only growling at same our that passed by.” “Nay, Jane, we heard tho scraping outside the window. Oh, woman, call your man and let him go with us.” “My man—ho is net, hero.” “Where is lie, then V" “I suppose ho is whore other working women’s husbands are, at tho public house,” said sho, rather bitterly, for sho had her own experience. Tho old women wanted to go to tho public house for him; but the black smith’s wife was a courageous woman, and beside, sho thought it was most likely a false alarm. “Nay, nay,” said she, “last, time I went for him there I got a ilno affront, i’ll come with yon,”sho said. “I’ll take the poker, and wo have got otu - tongues to raise tho town with, I suppose.” 80 they marched to tho (oil-bar. When they goi near it they Taw some thing that staggered this heroine. There was actually a man half in and half out of the window. This brought the blacksmith's wife foa standstill, and the timid pair implored her to go back to village. “Nay,” said sho. “Whatfor? I seo hut one -and hark 1 it is my belief the dog is holding of him. ’ However, she thought i! Hnfcst to bo on the same side with tho dog, lest the man might turn on her. So she made her way into the kitchen, followed by the other two, ami ihcro a sight met her eves that ehangod all their feelings, both toward flic robber and toward each other. The great mastiff had pinned a man by the throat, and was pulling at him to draw him through tho window, with fierce hut muffled snarls. Tho man’s weight alone prevented it. The window was like a picture frame, and in that frame there glared, with lolling tongue and staring eyes, the white face of the blacksmith, their courageous friend’s villainous husband. Sho uttered an appalling scream, and llew upon the dog and choked him with her two hands. Ho held and growled, and tore till lie was all bnt throttled himself; then he let go, and the man fell. Hut what struck the ground outside like a lump of lead was in truth a lump of clay ! The man was quite dead and fearfully torn about the throat. So did a comedy end in an appalling and most piteous tragedy; not that tlio scoundrel himself deserved any pity, bnt his poor, brave, honest wife, to whom ho had not dared confide the vil lainy ho meditated. ■ ~o- ■ Hoiv Dogs Get Rubles A correspondent writes to the Lancet: “In sequence to your just observations on tho annoyance caused by tho barking and howling ot dogs, allow me to make some remarks on tho creation of rabies in dogs. You most justly assert that it is neglect and misery which aro the! origin of the cries which make ‘night hideous.’ Such, also, is tho fact rela tive to canine madness. Noglect, mis ery, unwholesome food, unnatural treat ment, are often the root from which that dire disease springs. When a mad dog bites many people ho sometimes quits scores for a long arrear of brutali ties, insults, and oppression inflicted upon him by the baser or more ignorant portion of the human race. The hard blow, the savage kick, the loud curse, the vile annoyance, the insulting word, the starving meal, the carrion food, tho shortened chain, tho rotten straw, the dirty kennel (appropriate name!), the bitter winter’s night, the parching heat of summer, tho dull and dreary years of of hopeless imprisonment—culminate there; and tho cup man has poisoned man is forced to drink. In addition to the above, tho confining of dogs, and thereby preventing them from having access to their natural medicine, is cer tainly calculated to seriously derange their health. Professor David Dow, I<\ K.S.E., in his able work on ‘The Do mesticated Animals of the British Isles,’ makes some sagacious observations on unnatural and ignorant treatment of the canine race. The idea of preventing rabies by tying together the jawß of dogs, or by chaining or incarcerating the animals, is as senseless as issuing a ‘bull’ against a comet.'' At Toulon, Franco, two foolish youths made a bet as to which one could drink the more seltzer water. One drank pine syphons and the other eight. Both died shortly after of chol era. SECIUIINH THE RECORDS. \ SWeii’li ol Texas In Its Fiirlv liny* under Sum 11 oiinl nil• About two yours after tlio revolution General Houston lmd his tlrst difficulty with the people. Under the Constitu tion the Capital had been fixed at Aus tin, hut power was given to the Presi dent to order the temporary romoval of the archives in ease of dauger. The Cmnanehes wore committing ravages within sight of Austin, and General Houston ordered the State records to he forwarded to him at Washington, Texas. This caused much excitement in Austin, and fonrlmndrod mou planed themselves about the Slate House to prevent the re moval. Colonel Morton, a leading spirit of tho revolution, was at their head, and wrote to General Houston, who well know his character as a fight ing man, that, if the archives were re moved, ho (Morton) would hunt him down like a wolf. (louoral Houston re plied in a note of characteristic brevity: "If the people of Austin do not send them, I shall come and get them, and if Colonel Morton can kill me, ho is wel lin'to my oar-cap.” The guard war. at. once doubled, patrolmen wore placed on tho roads, and a select committee went into permanent session in tho City Hall, During a sitting of that body ono who was unannounced suddenly stood in their midst, having gained en trance by means of a tall live oak which grow against the window; his garb and arms were those of a hunter, and, being : polum to by Colonel Morton, ho placed his linger oh his lips and remained silent. Colonel Morton flew into a rage and i i/.ed him, when the stranger drew his bow in knife at fho same instant that Mortiill’s friends hold him back. An ollier member of the body spoke to the (ranger, saying that tho meeting was a private one, and that, ho presumed that the gentleman had mistaken the house. At this ho walked to tho table and wrote oue line, “1 am deaf.” Judge Webb then wrote, “Toll us your business,” when a letter was handed to him, ad dr. .ssisi to tho citizens of Austin, which : iic .fudge read aloud as follows: 'T'l r.i.ow Cn i'/.KNS: Though in error, old deceived by the arts of traitors, i will give you three more days to decide whether or not yon will forward to me tlio arohivvs. At tlio oiul of that time you will please lot me know your deci sion. Haiu Houston.” Tho deaf man waited a few minutes for a reply and was about to leave, when Colonel Morton handed him a note say ing: “You were bravo enough to insult me; are you bravo enough to give mo satisfaction ?" Tho mute wrote; “lam at your service,” and after fixing terms ho left by tho window. Morton was fold lie would bo killed, as he was to light Deaf Smith, who never missed his man; hut ho could not be shaken in his resolve. The weapons used were rifles, t he distance was ono hundred paces and tho time sunset. A vast crowd saw tho duel. Morton was dressed in broad cloth, his antagonist iu smoke-tinted buckskin. Both were cool and stern. At tho given signal both fired at the same instant; Morton sprang into tho air and fell dead, a ball in his heart. Deaf Smith quietly reloaded his rifle and walked into tho forest. Three days alterward he came with general Houston and ten others to Austin, and the ar chives were removed without further opposition. A Few Yet Left. “Heavens! but I’m melting 1” ho gasped, as ho entered an ice cream par lor. “Yes, sir,” replied tho girl at the so da fountain, as sho reached for a glass. “Dear, me 1 but such thirst I noverdiod before. Have you ginger ale ?” “Ych, sir.” “Ah, yes; but they say it is heating. Any root beer ?” “Yes, sir.” “Exactly; but roots are not always good for the health. Depends upon the kind of roots. Yon have soda water ?” “Yes.” “ Doctors say it produces a gas in tho stomach. How's ice cream?” “Very nice, sir.” “Yes, but lowering tho temperature of fho stomach so suddenly is apt to produce spasms. No lemonade, eh ?” “I can make you some.” “Never mind. My wifo died sudden ly after drinking a quart of it. Young lady 1” “Yes, sir.” “You may hand rno a glass of water. It is probably tho safest and best thing for the system at this stage of the game.” He got it, but he only took one sip. It. was blood-warm. The girl bad soen two or three like him before.— Detroit Dree Drcus. WiTOHiss. —The descendants of Re becca Nourse, who was hanged as a witch at Salem, Mass, on July 19, 1092, held an anniversary reunion at Danvers, a few days ago, at which about 200 of her representatives were present. Ben jamin F. Nourse, of Boston, presided, and arrangements were mnde for tho erection of a monument to bo dedicated a year lienee. An interesting feature of the occasion was a letter from the poet Whittier expressing the opiinion that, in the execution of Rebecca Nourse, the people of Salem hanged the best Ghris ian woman among them, NO. 31. Sheep on the Farm. Wool is so low in price, with no cer tain prospect of any material ineroase, that tho keeping*of sheep, except under favorable circumstances, will require very close and economical calculations if any profit is to be realized. I have not mnoli faith in securing an increase of the duties on foreign wools by a revision of tho tariff laws ; and if an increase ol tho dutiuH should be obtained, it is eminently proper to consider sheep husbandry upon the basis of small pro tection and small returns. Sheep fit in so nicely upon the farm that they can hardly ho dispensed with. They have an advantage over other stock, inas much as they may ho made to furnish an income twice iu tho year -first tho wool, and then the lambs. They may bo made to do more than this, and really to afford another in come in tho autumn or winter by tho fattening and sale of the old sheep or tho surplus stock. After trying all kinds of stock, 1 have returned to sheep, believing them to he indispensable for a a complete development of all tho re sources of the farm. There is no stock so well calculated for rugged hillsides or rough pastures, and to prevent the growth of weeds and bushes. Where sheep have the range of a field very few weeds will ever go to seed, and bushes will be so thoroughly cropped that they will either die or be kept from making much of a growth. When a farmer can thus easily turn tho weeds and hushes of a farm into excellent manure, and at the same time liavo them converted into mutton and wool, it is certainly a good thing. Sheep will always do this. 'L'lioy will thrive in pastures and get fat where cut tle would almost starve. They also scatter their droppings over the field, and never fail to enrich lands where they are kept. On poor farms thoy are most emphatically tlio best factors for in creasing fertility. On rich lands the same rule holds good, ns thoy will make them richer. By the simple menus of a portable shod, which can lio moved about tho field and under which the sheep will readily congregate, tho poor est spots may he made fertile, and the whole field, by frequent and regular changes of tho flock, may bo thorough ly enriched. When T was it small boy, my father purchased a large farm, which has been devoted to sheep husbandry for years. Ho went heavily into debt in the pur chase, and I recollect to liavo heard him say a number of times that the sheep which had belonged to the former owner paid for the farm. What ho meant was that they made the farm so productive and caused it to yield such bountiful crops, after he became its owner, that he was thus enabled to make his pay ments. This productiveness lasted for years, and made the farm famous for large crops. There are in tho older States a great many farms, now run down with continuous grain culture, which hardly pay tho cost of the labor bestowed upon the crops. In the keeping of sheep, although the direct returns from them may not be as great as they have been in former years, tlio advantage to ho derived from them in tho improvement of the soil should ho takon into account. If, by these means, bettor crops can bo grown, there is additional inducement for stocking the farm with sheep. There cannot bo any doubt about this result, A number of years ago, when a large flock of sheep was kept on Kirby Homestead, a strip of land the most exposed of any in the field was well dressed with sheep ma nure. The entire field was sown with rye and seeded with clover. The por tion where tho sheep manure was put produced three times as much rye to the acre as tlio rest of the field. The clover grew so rank that its very nature was changoil, and instead of dying out the second year, as it is likely to do, it lived for years and made an excellent growth. From the facts sot forth in this arti cle, and others, I have been led to add a flock of sheep to tho stock on tlm farm, with the intention that tlio farm, under my plan, must bo made to keep them, and tlio certainty that they will he aids iu its improvement and most useful factors iu increasing the manure. When others go out, it is a good time to go into slock. Certainly this is a better policy than to rush with the crowd and make the extremes which unsettle ma* kets, by overproduction at one time ami scarcity at another. Tlio whole section of country around me is now a loser on account of selling tho sheep, and some of tho best farmers have resolved to be gin sheep raising again—this time to stick.—Con. F. D. Curtis, in Rural Now Yorker. Much has been said os to woman phy sicians in Russia, but according to n competent authority there are only some 250, and whatever their acquirements and abilities they are only allowed to treat the diseases of women and chil dren. Even in oountry districts, where there is, perhaps, no male physician within fifty miles, apothecaries liavo been forbidden to put up a prescription emanating from a woman. An illiterate soldier contrived to spell the word “usage” without using a letter properly belonging to it. He wrote it “yowziteh," THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. M MAT W|? FIND IN TIIKVI TO HBIILB OVKIt Til IIS WRICK. ■* TIIR INCLINATION, Mr. Walcott is a gentleman who has boon in bad health for somo time, so ho consulted with a prominent Austin phy sician, who told him ho must travel for his health. “1 have neither tho money nor the inclination to travel,” replied Walcott. “Well, I’ll tell yon what to do,” sug gested tlio medical adviser. "You aro employed in a bank. All in the world you will have to do will ho to steal about A 10,000, and you will have both the in clination and the nionoy to travel.” AN EXCEPTION TO THE IHT.It. “No, my children,” said an uptown physician, “never waste anything, never throw anything away. Homo day you may find use for it.” “Hmv about banana skins, papa?” “H-m—banana skins. Yes,” replied the doctor, thoughtfully, stroking his chin, “banana skins are a caption. You may throw away.” Tin: MOST DIFFICULT TIIINQ. “How glorious it is to be engaged in a purely intellectual occupation,” said a L 'rtton maiden, gazing rapturously into tho admiring eyes of a country editor; your own mental faculties for tools and Hie whole universe for a workshop. Now tell me," she milled, “what do you find the most difficult tiling connected with your noble profession ?" “Payiug the hands," said the editor. . — Vhita. Call. HOARD AT THE fWARHORR. “What is your price a week for this room ?” asked a gentloman of a seaside landlord. Tlio price was named. “Does that includo the ocean air, or do you charge extra for that?” “Well,” replied the landlord tatingly, ns though he wasn’t tho Yuan to charge for anything that he could possibly afford to giveaway, "that de pends. Of course, if you keep your window open all night I should expect to add a little something to the bill.” .MALAPROPOS. “I see by tlio paper,” said Mrs. Brown to her husband, “that your friend Jones lias Rail a handsome bull dog presented to him by his admiring friends.” “Good gracious, is it possible 1” ox-, claimed Mr. Brown, “llow injudicious 1 Wiiy, that will min him.” M “Ruin him? Why so?” “Why, the man has foui* marriage able daughters that he is trying to get off his hands.” WHAT TIE OKTS. Little Jack—“Fa, why is a receiver so called ?” Fa—" What hind of a receiver do you mean ?” Little Jack—“ Why, I moan Uj^nniL lli.f i. ii'i’oinli’ii a lan :i 'll :i It- 111 place. iVnat docs a r^HHB| '•e'T'.ive ?” IBlli Mll • I ■ -IX' ■g§l v . •Ig .-■■ii I Im.iilil like I-Bill'd.” /fo-.'/oW A WISE Bj ' "fa ' '""I ing uianJHHH 'I and an importuul-l(M)kfl^H| man are tho dramatis persomo. Ho (trying the bar-room doorp^ Hr- 1-v er-doesn't appear tH| open. -■ She (appearing in a doorwayF-ljp; the bartender has just locked it np for a minute to go across the street ami get a decent drink. —Boston Globe. SITE WAS A PIONIO OIUL. “Carrie,” said ono Somerville girl tfli another yesterday, “are you goi^ng the picnio to-morrow?” “I am. Aro you?” “Of course ” A “What do you intend|fl “My white . 1-. -in : nti-' ito “I '.vlll wear u -mgm i,< ' ;,t ; : / ••it not. A lady rdfcidiny in part of the tot* n -recently services of an Indian to ]i Sin- approached Jho lirsfl with would you I'iri i goose f">- Hie ■§§ e o •- I -I i- a •uni ii digimtioii “You know ?" “No, I don’t know you," responded tlio lady, somewhat surprised. . “Ugh I” grunted the Indian, os if pitying her ignorance, “me Captaiu Sum. Mo no pick-goose. Mo send my wife.” —Virginia City (Nov.) Chron icle. Hu had his speech by heart, but th) multitude frightened him. "Twenty years ago tho plaoe upon bioh you now stand was a howling wjlderness I” he began. Not remembering the next sen.- teuce, he repeated that one. There was immense applause. Still he forgot. Attempt No. 3 was as follows: “Twenty years ago the ql aco on whioh now stand wos a howlfag wilderness—and-uJ and—Lang me if wish it was now.” Tin-; Frontier— Buffali said to an audience at the. his exhibition: “YonhavJ life on tlio frontier this * you mid in ten joanuj frimtieV '*■