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Ii RTS Mi PanWMr j S I || ill I I cures and small | j R Mln SI I money. A scieu- i I * IS» 11 iI I Blood Poison ' w I IB I 9 E W Remedy Sure, safe I and satisfactory. Purifies the Blood from ' infancy to old age. One bottle proves its superiority. Hereditary Taint and Scrofu lous symptoms cured. Itching Humors and Glandular Swellings relieved All bad I W St! ft Cures Chronic Skin S 3 S aifis =s“ Diseases, Eczema, I I I II 111 I I Itching Humors, I a I 11 111 I I ■ Tetter, Ringworm. I la I IT IV II I Bolls, Eruptions, i W S IS! VI W Bumps. Pimples. Blotches. Splotches, and all other troubles I of the skin affecting old and young. Re i duces Scrofulous. & Glandular Swellings, j Tumors. Ovarian Tumors,Enlarged Glands. j ew. Cures Catarrh,Ozvena, Hip Disease, old [ BALM BO T H 811 fl Cures all stages of II S S 911 a I "Syphilis and Syphi- I I I II 111 I I linc troubles. Cures k 3 3 feliHli ■ old cases of 15 years’ 111 Fl 11 | | | standing. Primary w I a II ■ I VlSores, Secondary I leers and tertiary disease of the bones and internal organs cured. Special and speedy relief to females suffering from painful, suppressed and prolonged menstruation, or who are prostrated from luiigsickness. If nSBLOOD BALM pnnfi.-jr, B B. B. wul please you. One hot tie cure- some cases. Send for pamphlet of burnt cures. At all Drug Stores. One bottle. SI. BLOOD BALM COMPANY, Atlanta. Ga For sale in Summerville by J. 8. CLEGHORN A CO., and THOMPSON HILE . new Home Q P^ n 9W Alehin 8 v® Hal. 1 * ic to It WW H' J 5 v t H; IN EVER' 1 P '„„, 0 n r E o»D M . ■ / ’As NQ EQ uaU Jj- ' - * 30 UNION SQUARE HEW YORK TOR SALS BY i ’i-i \ r: * ? c a r n. SJMMEiIVII.Li:, <i.\ "2* High Arm OAVIS The lightest running Shuttle Sewing Machine ever produced, combining greatest durability and speed. If”- adapted to a greater va riety of practical and fancy work than any other. No basting ever required. For particulars as to prices, &c.. and for any desired information, address THE DAVIS SEWING MACHINE CO,, WATERTOWN, N. Y. 158 Tremor t St., Boston. Mass. 1223 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa. 113 Public Square, Cleveland. Ohio. 46, 48 & 50 Jackson St.. Chicago. 111. For eale in Summerville by J. 8. CLEGHORN <k CO. ALABASTiNE — - I A Superior Substitute for Kalsomine. etc > Alabastine is the first and only preparation made in m cilcined gvpsnm rock, forappli cation L> '.vails with a brush, and is fttlycov- >’< .>»l oc-f.u-'ed liv many yen' - . .... ■■■.. ...n us many coats as des.red, ; over another. to any hard surface, without danger of scaling, or noticeably adding to the thickness of the ■wail, which is strengthened and improved by each additional coat, from time to lime, it is the only material for the purpose net de pendent upon trine for its adhesiveness. ALitfflstine is hardened on the wail by age, moisture, etc., while ail kalsomines or whit eninsr preparations have inert soft chalks and glue for their base, which are rendered soft or scaled in a very short time. Jn addition to the above advantages. Aiabastlne is less expensive, »a it requires but one-half the number of pounds to cover the same amount of surface with two coats, is ready for use. by adding water, and easily applied by any one. For -ale by year Paint Dealer. Ask for C rctil-r eouiuurrrg camples of 12 tints. ■ ma■iufaeturetl only by the Alabastisi. Co,. I 15 Cticix::.'l r'-e:-. Grand Rtipi'ls. Mich, i j “A. Western man tells of a dogwhich drove a flock of geese every day to wa ter.” But that is nothing. We know w£ a dog which qrove a tramp to water, , @ljc VOL XL I V. PURE * PAINTS ReadyForUse Olives, Terra Oottas and all the latest fashionable shades for CITY COUNTRY OR SEASIDE. Warranted durable and permanent. Descriptive Lists, showing 32 actual shades, sent on application- For sale by the principal dealers, wholesale and retail, throughout the country. Ask for them and take no others. BILLINGS, TAYLOR & CO, CLEVELAND, OHIO. SANDS’ —* PATENT TRIPLE The only Freezer ever made having thro* distinct motions infdde the can. thereby, of conne. produo ing finer and smoother Cream than any oihuj Fn-eaer on the market. 300,000 in nee. Catalogue and I'rKe Lisi ! Hailed upon application. WHITE MOUNTAIN FREEZER CO., NASHUA, N. H. Result of a Practical Joke, A paragraph iu a Cleveland paper not j long since told the sad story of a hoax | practiced by three women upon a friend, (t seemed harmless to them. It proved dmost fatal to the friend, aud illustrates a fact that should not be forgotten, that i frights may kill, or may craze the brain permanently. Such jokes are criminal, I tnd deserve a serious penalty. The vic- I rim of this hoax—Mrs. Burns—had ' gone away for a short time, leaving her husband and little ones at home. The husband went to work, and tlio three women thought it would lie ex tremely funny to scare Mrs. Burns. The chairs ard tables were upset, and every bing was put “topsey-turvey.” A figure was made and clotheel in a suit of Burns’s clothes, and was laid on the floor, its head, tied with a white bandage, rest ing against the sewing-machine. Then the women secreted theinseives. Mrs. Burns, who is of a nervous tem perament, camo home aud was struck speechless with horror at the scene. The poor woman, seeing the inanimate form, immediately supposed that her - husband had committed suicide. Tot- ! tering to the house of a neighbor, she ; gas]>e<] out that her husband was dead, and fainted away. A physician was called, but she went i from one spasm into another. When she finally revived sufficiently to talk, it was found that her reason had left her. For days she hovered between life and death. Although she is now considered out of danger, the shock has left its im pression upon her mind, and she may never fully recover. » i A Sensational Case. 1— M. Ciaretie, in the Paris Tetaps, men tions a rather sensational case of re covery from cholera during one of the i earlier visits of the epidemic, due to the 1 skill of Dr. Lorain, a well known physi- I cian of the time. The patient had sunk < into the iast stage of collapse, and the I hospital physicians had etopijed the I treatment as useless. Dr. Lorain, hap- 1 pening to enter the ward, deternjiued I p htwew Um-. restoring the circulation, whica fuel practically ceased. He first performed the operation he contemplated on a rab bit, into whose crural vein he injected a certain quantity of warm water. He then ' repeated it on the dying man, into whose circulatory system he pumped 400 grammes—nearly a pint—-of the same fluid. The heart began to beat at once, though so faintly as to be hardly per- | ceptible. The operation was repeated > with still happier effects. The pulse ' could now be felt at the wrist; the pa- i tient recovered his sensibility and his I voice. In ten days he left the hospital j perfectly well. No American Vessel-.—As 1 looked 1 away to the river, says Kenuebrckcr, writing from Calcutta, I could see a lc.ng line of English ship —not an American ame.ng tnem. In 1853, I re member of seeing forty at one time of I our very beat veseela. SUMMERVILLE. GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY EVENING. OCTOBER 1, 1884. THE WA Y IT IS SAID. The Sultan awoke with a stifled scream; His nerves were shocked by a fearful dream . An omen of terrible import and doubt His teeth in one moment all fell out His wisemen assembled at break of day, And stood by the throne in solemn array. And when the terrible dream was told, Each felt a ehndder, his blood ran cold , And all stood silent in fear and dread, And wondering what was best to be said. it length an old soothsayer, wrinkled and gray, Cried, “Pardon, my lord, what I have to say I " 'Tis an omen of sorrow sent from on high— j Thou shall see all thy kindred dio.” Wroth was the Sul! an ; he gnashed his teeth, And bis very words seemed to hiss and seethe. As he ordered the wiseman bound with chains, And gave him a hundred stripes for liis pains. The wisemen,shook as the Sultan's eye Swept round to see who next would try But one of them stepping before the tiironu, i Exclaimed in a loud and joyous tone: l “Exult, Oh head of a happy State I Rejoice, Oh heir of a glorious late ! “For this Is the favor thou shall win, Oh, Sultan—to outlive all thy kin 1” Haesed was the Sultan, and called a slave, And a hundred crowns to the wiseman gave. But tile courtiers, they nod witli grave, sly winks, | And each one whispers what each one thinks, ■‘Well can hie Sultan reward and blame; Didn't both the wieemen foretell the same ?” Quoth the crafty old Vizier, shaking his head, “So much may depend on the way a thing’s said I" A CORNER IN NICKELS. ,A TRCR HTORT. Not long ago the Government of the United States began to coin nickel five eent pieces of a new pattern. But after a few thousand had been struck off it was decided that they were unsuitable, and the coinage was stopped. The fact that so few were sent out made these five-cent pieces very valu able to persons forming collections of coins, because they were so scarce that by and bye none could be picked up among the change handed about in trading. Many a wide-awake boy got a hint of this and profited by it. How it caused one of the schools tn a certain Connec ticut town to become a sort of Bourse or Wall street, and two youngsters in par ticular to resemble speculators, is the little story I have to tell. One of the boys we will call Wyx and the other Jordan. The former was a “bull,” the latter a “bear,” in the money market which sprang up in this emergency as quickly as, during the late war, a trade in gold was organized in New York, where profits were gained or lost according as the value of the gold dollar in greenbacks rose or fell. Wyx's father was a banker, and, therefore, he became “posted” on the value the coins would probably take a little ahead of others, and, in addition to a supply procured at his father’s bank, he went about for several days buying up nickels of bis school-fellows and everybody else he could meet, pay ing six and seven cerds apiece for them, until he thought he had secured all there were in that neighborhood. He also felt pretty sure that none of his schoolmates could get many, if any more, while he had a chance to do so, on account of his father’s position. As the men who deal in money and railway stocks in the city would say, he tried to make a “corner” iu these coins. If he succeeded, of course he could ask what he pleased for them (for he would have no opposition), provided anybody wanted to buy badly enough to pay a high price. There ia a /treat risk iu making a cor ner in some t.rticle which is not neces sary. If n.ore than a moderate figure is asked people will refuse to purchase, and the wrong-doing of a man wbc. seeks to charge too much will thus cor rect itself, even where he has a monopo ly. It therefore happens that men who attempt to make comers usually choose something which people must have id any price—such as wheat, or lard, or pig-iron; yet they rarely succeed, be cause when a man takes that position he arrays the whole country against him, and no matter how rich and power ful he may be, it is all but impossible to gather into one comer, as you would r””' •• <■-’ 1 of sheep, all there is of ono u/g iu a great region like the uiuod U nited States. But I have been lead into a long di gression. Let ub go back to the attempt at a comer in new nickels which oc curred in that Connecticut school dis trict. Thinking that he had bought in all there were afloat in the neighborhood, and that now was the time to sell at a profit, or to “realize,” as the brokers eall it, Wyx announced one day that he was coming to school next morning with tienps or nicxels, wmen ne would r.eti . ■ ten cents apiece. The boys began to be sorry that they had been »o hasty during the previous ten days in letting Wyx have their half dozen or so each, at only a cent or two advance, and having grown excited over 'he way the value had risen, were now quite willing to buy their coins all back at the advanced rate, and a lot mere bo rides, believing they would go still higher. It therefore looked sure that Master Wyx was to make a great deal of money. Certainly that is the way he regarded it, and he strutted about with his hat tipped on the back of his head in the most approved Stock Exchange swagger. Iu these operations, let me say, both the seller and the buyers were taking the right course. Acting on his belief that the coins would become worth more a few days hence than they then w’ere, Wyx had shown good sense in se , curing all he could honestly get and pay for. Now, as a matter of fact, and as Wyx foresaw would happen, they had risen, and were really saleable to collec tors down town at ten cents, and some times for more. The other boys were quite right, therefore, in buying them back at that higher rate, and might charge the difference which they had lost to the account of acquiring knowl edge—which is only bought by experi ence, and that is usually paid for in cash I Now, among the boys at that school was Jordan. Morning and evening be peddled newspapers, and had grown sharp. He learned when he went home that afternoon that his father was just going to a bank to receive some money. Seeing his opportunity, the lad begged his father to take five dollars of the pay ment in the new nickels. These he could get by asking for them (provided the bank had so many) at their “face value” —that is, five cents. This fact was what Wyx had depended upon nobody’s knowing; but it happened that Jordan did know it, and sometimes a very simple bit of knowledge, speedily acted upon, is worth ft groat deal, as it : proved in this case, for Mr. Jordan sue- I oeeded in obtaining the five dollars ; worth which ha lent to his enterprising I son. Well, Wyx appeared at school next morning, his pockets just bulging with nickels. He had no less than two hun dred and seventy-five of them for sale at it dime apiece. Before he had disposed of a dozeu, however, Jordan came on the play-ground, and, showing a handful of ! the coveted coins, immediately offered i them at nine cents. The nickel market up to this time had been a one-sided affair; but now it was divided between the “bulls” and the “bears.” You know it is the habit of a bull to toss everything into the air which he i attacks—to raise it; while, on the other | hand, a bear pulls things down and gets I under foot whatever he wishes to obtain I or destroy. From this has arisen the I habit among dealers in money, and what are called “securities” (documents sup posed to secure a certain amount of wealth to their possessors), of calling a man who would like to have the price of an article increase, in order that he may sell to better advantage, a “bull”; and of calling him a “bear” who tries to lower prices, in order that he may buy more cheap ly. Now, Wyx. of course, was a “bull” i on the nickels in this school market, for I naturally he’wantcd to keep the price I as high as possible. Jordan, on the i contrary, was a “bear,” polling the | price down with all his might to favor a i scheme of his own, as we shall see. Thus he offered bis coins at nine cents, and Wvx found his corner “busted.” “I can’t stand this,” he exclaimed, in dismay, “I’ll sell at eight.” “Seven !” shouted Jordan, dropping his price another notch as quick as a flash. “Six I” cried the bulk Wyx was out of al) patience, that a fellow should turn up in this way to ruin his business. To be really like the great railway and telegraph managers, what the rival speculators should have done at this point was to go off into a corner and agree between themselves that both would stick to the ten-cent price. Then, if not enough buyers ap peared to take all the nickels held by both, they would, at the end of the sale, divide what they had made. This would be a “combination,” and “pooling the profits.” But they didn’t do it. Jordan thought he knew a trick worth two of that, aud showed himself a true financier. When we left them, you will remem ber, in order to undersell the pestiferous Jordan, Wyx had offered his coins at six cents each. Quick as a wink Jordan spun round and shouted: “I’ll take all you’ve got I” Imagine the astonishment and disguqA i ; of the outwitted Wyx, who as city men i would say, had been caught out in a i s hower without an umbrella! But there was no way out of it. He had made a public offer and it had been taken up. He had to stand by it and sell out, however much he disliked the ' bargain. By borrowing and scraping Jordan got together the 816.50 needed to pay for his 275 nickels, which he then proceed ; ed to sell in small lots at ten cents, clear ing four cents on each one by his quick I wit, while the first speculator got little | or no profit out of his supposed ‘ ‘corner. ” j Tho boys bought, but it was with wry faces, for they remembered they had I not been sharp enough to take Wyx’s offer of six before Jordan captured the whole lot. They aptly represented the i outsiders who speculate in Wall street, aud whom the brokers laughingly cab ( i “lambs,” because it is their fate to ; > o 11 “fleeced.”—-New Ywk How. I; NOTES AND COMMENTS. English opinion on the Groely ex pedition sympathizes with the American idea that no more Arctic expeditions should be sent out, but hints that it will not prevent other Arctic expeditions auy more than the latest accident on the Mont Blanc will prevent Alpine ascents. An artificial flower maker rejoices in the extravagance of the time. Bouquets of artificial flowers are carried by many ladies at balls. A wreath of artificial flowers is a pretty trimming for a dress. One made for a lady at Saratoga was of pinks and droopiug grass, aud cost S9O. A Chinese physician in this country says that a very small proportion of Chi namen die of consumption, because, three hundred years ago, T'sang Loo, a learned doctor, discovered that people become afllicted with the disease by breathing through tho mouth instead of the nose. There are more than a quarter of a million women iu London who work with their needle for a bare subsistence. Their lot since the introduction of the sewing machine is even worse than the condition depicted in the “Song of the Shirt.” Then they might live, now they barely exist. Mil Thomas Conroy is a hardworking shoemaker in Tanner’s Falls, Pa., who, in fulfillment of a vow, for twenty-six years has refused to touch a fortune of £5,000 and accumulated interest await ing him in Dublin, Ireland, until his re latives should apologize for having er roneously accused him of sympathy with the Molly Maguire organization. From a paper contributed by the veteran scholar, Dr. Edkins, to a recent number of the Chinese Tte,corde,r, it ap pears that about B. C. 2200 the Chinese possessed a knowledge of the art of writing, a year of 366 days with an in tercalary month, the astrolabe, the zodiac, the cycle of sixty, of twelve musical reeds forming a gamut, whie,h also constituted the basis of a denary metrology for measures of length, weight, and capacity, divination, and a feudal system. It is said that the following anecdote, which has been told of a number of peo ple, originated with Lord Cowley, who nt one of his own parties in Paris, was leaning against the mantlepieoe when an unknown gentleman said to him, “Do yon mean to say that Lord Cowley's parties are never livelier than this'?” “Never.” “Well," said the stranger, “then I shall take myself off at once.” “You’re a lucky man,” said Lord Cow ley, with a sigh; “I’m obliged to stop.” The manufacture of “buffalo-horn” furniture has become an industry in New York City. The horns are not those of the bison, as is commonly be lieved, but are from the cattle killed in the abattoirs. They are sold at the slaughter houses for a little more than what the button manufacturers give, are cleaned, dried, scrap d and polished. The cost of making these horn goods is less than that of carved wood, but they bring two or three times more than the latter. The new industry is almost mo nopolized by Germaru from Saxony. On the 21st of July, 1809, died Daniel Lambert, at the early age of 39. What his actual weight was at the time of his death is not exactly known; but three years before that melancholy event when he exhibited himself at his house, 53 Picadily, he weighed, according to one of his exhibition bills, 1,222 pounds, London weight. The coffin enclosing bis remains, which was with some diffi culty deposited in St. Mark’s Church yard, contained no less than 112 super ficial feet of elm, was 6 feet 4 inches long, 4 feet 4 inches wide, aud 2 feet 4 inches deep. Her Embarrassing Mistake, As a lady opened the door of a Second street residence to a ring Monday, a neatly dressed individual bowed politely and inserted one foot in fbe doorway far enough to guarantee that proceedings would not be brought to too summary a close. The lady concluded he was an agent and remarked in vigorous tones: 'I don’t want anything !” at the same time giving undeniable indications that she desired to shut the door. “I beg your pardon, madam, I am not offering you anything,” said he with an injured and dignified air. “Pray excuse me,” she answered, “my mistake arose from the fact that I have been greatly annoyed by agents. Whom did you wish to aee ?” Without noticing her inquiry he said: “Madam, it is difficult to reconcile your reception of me with what a genfl'mm, would naturally expect at the hand of a lady. Such brusquenesu is chilling to refined and sensitive natures accustomed to the usages of polite society.” Again apologizing, she was about to ask him in, when be drew from his cord pocket a little box and opening it, ex plained: “Madam, I have for sale her an invaluable ” The feat of extracting his foot from that doorway liefore the door siammed with a noise that could be heard two blocks so distracted his attention that he left toe sentence uncompleted. M. Qvak. It is a wise young man who early makes up his mind that gamblers know more about gambling than be does. NO. 37. ARCTIC EXPLORATION. A Few of the Kxpeditlono that Have At tempted to Find nn Open Polar Mca. It is but eight years less than three cftituries since the first Arctic expedi tion reached the region of polar ice and spent a dreary winter locked in by the icebergs and shut up in their huts by wolves, snow storms and white bears. Two lives were sacrificed in this expedi tion, which reached a latitude of 80 de grees and 11 minutes. Three hundred years have passed and j the latest, the Greely expedition,touched 83 degrees 24 minutes, fbe highest lati tude reached since the Dutch navigators spent ten months in the ice off the island of Nova Zembla. In all these three centuries only three degrees of the jour ney to the pole have been overcome—a distance something less than the dis tance between New York and Boston, a little more than between New York and Albany. This fact alone is a significant com ment upon the value of these expedi tions which have cost a prince’s revenue and as many lives as have been lost in some noted battles. The Dutch were the great navigators of the sixteenth century, and soon after achieving their nation’s independence began to speculate upon a passage to China and India byway of the North Pole, Their ideas of that region were fanciful indeed. Somo believed that ' those seas inclosed a polar continent of perpetual summer and unbroken day light, whose inhabitants had attained perfection in virtue and intelligence. Others thought it peopled with monsters having horses’ hoofs, dogs’ heads and ears so long that they coiled them around their bodies in lieu of clothing. ' Other tribes were headless with eyes in I their breasts, living in incessant fogs ; and tempests during the summer, but ; dying every winter and, like plants, re ■ vived to life by the advent of a brief I spring. It was believed that the voya- I gera would have to encounter mountains i of ice and volcanoes of fire, together j with monsters on land and sea more fe rocious than the eye of man ever saw. j But in spite of these terrors, on the j sth of June, 1594, the first expedition I to navigate these frozen seas set out from Amsterdam. Their ships and ap pliances were of the rudest description. I In place of the stanch modern steam- I boats built for the purpose they sailed I iu small, unwieldy vessels built like a tower at stern aud stem, scooped in the middle and scarcely able to plow their i way through the water, to say nothing 1 of the ice. Instead of the delicate and j ingenious scientific instruments consti tuting an exploring outfit of the present day they had a clumsy astronomical ring three feet in circumference on which they depended for ascertaining the latitude. They had no food, no rifles, no compact ammunition, no heavy clothing of fur, no rubber garments, no logarithm, log or nautical almanacs, no tea, coffee, or tho hundreds of luxuries, stimulants, medicines, and other stores which now abound in such profusion. 1 The first expedition was turned back | by the ice aud polar bears, but the ? problem of a northeast passage to China ' was considered solved, and the next year j a second ship was sent with a cargo ol | broadcloth, lines and tapestries for the l Chinese market which the explorers j were expected to reach. Again the ice aud the bears frightened them back. But an offer of 25,000 florins to the discoverer of a northeast passage to the east led to a third expedition, the first that outlived a polar winter amidst perils and sufferings, whose story reads j as much like the narratives of Kane and ' Di-Long, of Hayes and Gret-ly, as the | stories of shipwreck and rescue in the ! days of Robinson Crusoe read like those ! of the days of Enoch Arden. Notwithstanding all the discoveries ; -- - • ■ - . , -?»1 Showers on Tup. is generally believed that the dis- I charge of artillery tends to dispel clouds I and mists in the immediate neighbor- ! hood. A French electrician combats ■ this theory, and maintains that the effect of a series of sufficiently violent detonations would be to compel the clouds to discharge their moisture. He even goes so far as to say that it would be perfectly possible to produce a fall of rain iu this way. He suggests a method by which he believes this often highly desirable result might be brought about. His plan is to send up one or more bal loons freighted with panclastite or some other equally explosive compound, i They are to be connected with a battery ' on the ground by means of a fine wire, and when they attain the necessary alti tude—that is, when they enter the ; cloud-zone—the spark is to be trans mitted. The detonation will follow, and a refreshing shower will be the result. Farmers and others wAo suffer heavily from the effects of a prolonged drought will probably be anxious that the French savant system should be given a trial, • no method hitherto devised for obtain- • ing rain having proved quite efficacious, I — St. JarMssf Budget. Hereditary.—A West Somerset, Eng land, jury is said to have returned the j verdict: “Died by the hereditary visits- i tiou of God,” in the case of a man whu had broken his neok when drunk, aud whose grutlfather had met with a like mishap. THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT WK FIND IN THEM TO HMILJI OVEK THIS WEEK. HB HAD BEEN TO SCHOOL. "Where have yon been, yon young rascal ?” angrily demanded Fitzgoober, as Pinder came sneaking in at the back door, late in the afternoon. “Been to school,” slowly answered Pinder, dropping his books and anx iously eyeing the strap his father dan gled so tantalizingly. “Been to school ? Oh, you little liar, do you think I'm to be fooled that easy ? I went over to the academy and you hadn't been there to-day; one of the boys said you had gone fishing. Now, what have you to say to that Gradually edging toward the door and keeping a chair between him and his father, Pinder raised his soulful eyes and innocently asked: “Well, pa, don't fishes have schools f” —Atlanta Constitution. A COMPLETE DISGUISE. Jones, before starting for the country for a Sunday’s shooting, wrapped his new gun up into the smallest possible compass. “I wouldn't have anyone know I had a gun with me for anything,” he re marked. “Why, my dear?” asked Mrs. Jones. “The parson has moved over on this street and you know I haven’t been to church for six weeks.” “Well, he would nover guess you have a gun. It looks more like a fishing rod.”— Graphic. EXPECTING TOO MUCH. Little Billy Simpton is aged about 10. Not long since the Simpton family was increased by still another little boy, and a friend of the family, meeting Billy, said to him: “So you have got another baby at at your house. He is a right smart little fellow, ain’t he ?” “Humph 1” sneered Billy, turning up his nose: “bow many smart boys do you expect us to have in our family ?” Texas Siftings. LESSONS OF EXPERIENCE. Mrs. Slimdiet—"Yes, I knowhelooka like a nice young man, but I told him I had no vacancies.” Miss S.—“ But yon have, ma, and he said he would pay his board in advance. Why didn’t you take him ?” “Because he is a market clerk.” “But what of that ?” “Everything. He will always be talk ing at table about the early vegetables and other high-priced things just arrived in market. ’’—l’Mla Call. BATHER SEVERE ON A BABE BALL MUFFER. One of the mnffers of the Cincinnati Club was attractilfg great attention in the hotel dining-room by ordering around the servants. Just as the head waiter walked up he suddenly rapped on his glass with a vigor aud a four-tined fork. “Waiter,” he cried, “there is a fly in my cabbage.” “That’s all right,” said the head waiter, “don’t mind it. There is no danger of your catching it.” The remainder of the meal was fin ished in silence. A LITTLE HELP. Maud—lsn’t this a queer title for a book, mother—“ Not Like Other Girls?” 1 wonder what can she be if she is not like other girls ? Mother—l don’t know, unless she goes into the kitchen and helps her mother instead of staying in the parlor to read novels.— Life. THE DUTTES OF A SERVANT. “Mamma," complained a little girl, running into the house, “me and Willie wanted nurse to sit down and let us pour sand in her back, and she wouldn’t.” “Certainly not. She did quite right” “Well, that's what you told her she was to do when she first came.” “I told her that she was to let you and Willie pour sand down her back ?” “Not exactly that, mamma, but yon told her she was to mind the children.” SHE GOT HER SEAT. “Is this seat engaged?” asked a email, thin woman of a fat man in the New Huven train the other day. No reply. “Will you please take your feet down and let me sit on this seat?” she re peated in a louder tone of voice. Again no reply. “I read to-day,” she continued still louder, “that a Chicago man has cor nered all the pork in ths world. How did you manage to escape ?” At the next station she had the whole seat to herself.— Graphic. NEW USB FOB BABIES. “They say if you put a baby in the water it will not sink,” eaid William to his wife Susan the other day. "Don’t you want to go down to the lake this afternoon ?” "But, my dear, you’ve always ob jected to our going on the » afar, purely on baby’s account, for you’ve said the trip was dangerous, and that .here were no life-preservers on the Itoat." "But don’t you see that all the diffi culty is obviated ?” “No, I can’t say that I do.” “Why, the baby can’t sink." “Well, suppose there is some acci dent. What is to become of ns ?” “We’ll hang on to the baby.”—De troit Free Press. Some of the Tichborne claimants' friends visited him in Portsea convi t prison the other day, aud told him of the proceedings jn the colony of New South Wales for the release of “Arthur Orton’’ from the Paramatta lunatic asylum. The claimant said ho did not mean to slumber when he eame out of prison. He will be released on the 24th of October next from Pentonville prison, to which place he will lie re moved about a week previously. Eleven members of Parliament have signed the memorial to tho Home Secretary for “Arthur Orton” to be brought to Lon don at the country's expense,