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□AVIS The lightest running Shuttle Sewing Machine ever produced, combining greatest simplicity, durability and speed. It is adapted to a greater va riety of practical and fancy work than any other. No basting ever required. For particulars as to prices. &c.. and for any desired information, address IKE DAVIS SEWING MACHINE CO,, WATERTOWN. N. Y. 158 Tremor t St., Boston, Mass. 1223 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa. 113 Pubiio Square, Cleveland, Ohio. 46. 48 & 50 Jackson St., Chicago, 111. For sale in Snmnierville bj J. 8. CLEGHORN 4 CO. ALABAST! NE A Superior Substitute for Kalsonii.no. etc /’•■'-■nstlr.p is t!’c first nnd only preparation made nont c tclnn.t tripsiun rock, forappli <• ■■ ' • • . ii a luusu. nn iis fully cuv- - o ' t>< rf(.c:,..| by many years ,• .ng as many - w ■■ i, 0.,e over aiu..her. to any hard • ..face, without danger of sealing, or m.ticea'.ly '.hug to the limitless ut the wall, wlii' J t -trong' ati 1 Improved by c.u h O'i'l :; >n.il co:.:, from time to time. It ti.e on.v material for the purpose not de r'■ •• n :< gate for its u-.hesiveness. Al s' is h.u?!>.'■; on t; > wall by age, t ,-:u. . etc., v. bile nil kalaouiuies or whit <i..:i. p.H|>.trillions have inert soft chalks : i i t ti.eir base, which are rendered h r e.l in a very short time. I:i ado '.tun to the aliove advantages, A ’.in- is less expensive, ...» It requires '■ci ilf the number o* pounds to cover n.mmiit of surface with two coats, i- ■ I . : su by adding water, and easily r; any one. >V your Paint Dealer. Ask for i colii..uuilg Simples of 12 tints, i.<-•!'only by the Ai.ahastim <’o.. ' ..cn, Manager, Gr.uul Rapids, Mich. •a PURE « AINTS i zadyForUse Olives, Terra Cottas nnd nil the latest laUuonable shades lor Ci”Y COUNTRY OR SEASIDE. Warranted durable and permanent. Descriptive Lists, showing 82 actual i hades, sent on application- i r sale by the principal dealers, v ho esule and retail, throughout the country. A It for them and take no others. SWINGS, TA YLOR& CO. IB VELAND, OHIO. - SANCS' PATENT TRIPLE © Ml mo”C* ,w SJj Th* rmh- ever made having three distinct r:> inride the can. thereby, of course, pr< •»<> • r.if.r nn l f>n tLer Cream than any other A u tzcr on the market 300,CC0 in use. Catalogue and Price Ll*t B i upon a; ji . a: ion. WHITE FOUNTAIN FREEZER CO., NASHUA, N. H. st-zk-. -jboww i»i rw n The First tars. T i • first railroad car f t passengers (< i: the Stockion and Darlington Rail road, England) was an unwieldy box on wheels, resembling in shape a clumsy, small building, having house-like win dow.,, ai 1 a door at the rear. The front end held the driver’s seat, high up; and the sides were elapboarded. The two rows of seats in it ran lengthwise, as in the modern horse car, aud “a deal table” was fixed in the centre. This eir was drawn by one horse, on a track where a locomotive, built by Stephen son, was drawing freight trains loaded with coal. The successors of this primi tive conveyance were two horse-cars, ch - I the “Express” and the “Defence.” These were shaped like the old-fash ioned st ge-cnach; passengers could ride imide and out. There was a lever brake, which retched up to the coach man’s b< x. They became the pattern which was foil cved in the construction ! of the first c irs on the Albany and i Schenectady and N-w York and Harl?m Ra trends, the pioneer enterprises in* railway building in this country. Gbeex Cobx fob Wintbk Use.- ! C >-> c short plump, sound ears of green ■ c r move the outer husks and silk, rv’iig the thin inner husks intact; tie . v. r the up -r end of the ears, in >-n p_?A them in wooden tubs with p of diy salt between and around • th< . ee* them in .» r<o’., dry price. I Vv . ..■<< a;.' token out cover the top ■ with more dry suit, i Summerville VOI, XI. SUMMERVILLE, GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY EVENING. DECEMBER 24, 1884. NO. 49. A THUE STOEY. “ Where is the baby, gran 4 main ma?” The sweet young mother ca Is From her work in the cosey kitchen, With iU dainty whitewashed walls. 1 And grandma i< aves her knitting, And looks for her hll around; But not a trace of baby dear Can anywhere be >ouud. No sound of its merry No gleam of its sunny hair, No patter of tiny footsteps, No sign of it am where. All t‘ rough house and garden, Far out into the th 11, They si arch each nook and corner, But nothing is revealed. And the mother’s face grew pallid ; Grandmamma’s eyes grew dim; The fa her’s gone to the vil.age; No to look for him. And the baby’s lost! “Where’s Rover !’ The mother chanced to think Os .he Old well in the or hard Where the cattle used to drink. “ Where’s Rover? I know he’d find her I R >v» r In vain they ca l, They htury away to the orchard; And there by the moss-grown wall, Close to the w 11, lies II ver, Holding to baby’s dress; She was b ailing over the well’s edge In perfect f carle? rim &» ! She stretched her litt’o arms down, Bui Rover held h< r fa«t Am! never seemed to mind the kicks The t ny bare feet east So spitefully upon him, But wagged his tail i istead, To gi>’ t the frightened so «r here, While naughty baby s.id: “ Derr’s a ’ittle did in the ’ater; She’s du*’ as big as me, Mamina; I want to help her out, And take her home to t« a. Bui Rover, h won’t let mo, And 1 don’t love him. Go Away, you naughty II >ver Oil! why are you crying ho?” The mother kisse d her, saying: “ My darling, und< rs an I, Good Rover save I your life, my dear— And. sec. he icks your hand ! Kiss Hover. ’ Baby t uea him, But grandma un ’trsto id; 8h Hud: “It’s hard to thank the friend Who th waits in for our good.” —Abbe Kiimt, in liaidifiuin MouUdy. THE KINGSTON’ FAMILY. A CfIHISIMAS HIOKY. “ I don’t enre," growled Fred King ston, “it’r too downright mean that we can’t have any good time Clniatinaa.” “Why, what’s the matter?” said hia sialer Fannie. “We bad a lovely day last year; aneh beautiful preaeuta, just what I spoke for; and 1 told father and mother weeks ago I wanted aaealakin cap and muff, and lots of other things.” "Well, Alirs Flamina Fiumhiga I” a pet name for Fannie, which be delighted to use. "Ton won’t get a sealhkin cap, or any other skin cap, not even a cat akiu. Father’s given out that he is short of funds, ami we can only have a j few stingy dollars to buy presents for each other, and for all the Kingston an cestors and desceiio..nta that are to visit I us. If that pack of cousins were not coming from ont West, I wouldn’t care so much, but they have never been here liefore, and 1 did want to show them that we kuew how to keep Christmas. Now. it’s ail up.” “I don’t believe a word of it,” said Fannie. “You’re joking. Father didn’t tell me.” “He didn’t dare to tell yon, for fear you’d abed such a copious shower of tears as to deluge the whole Kingston family, so I have broken it to you gent ly, mv dear Flamina Fiaminga, haven’t I? Father ire tends to be as poor us Job’s cat, but I believe he is growing mean.” Just then Fred looked up and received a reproving glance from has mother, who was sitting on the other side of the room. In a moment he was by her side, humble ai d crestfallen, saying: "I didn’t mean that, mother. I have got the best father in the world. I'm sorry, but I was so outrageously aggra vated. ” "If yon had seen how badly your father felt when he a-ked me how he conld tell you children that we must cur tail in our Christmas expenses, I thick you would pity him, instead of your selves. We mmt remem>>er that we are not debarred from receiving the grealest of all gifts, the Christ Child, who, through the celebration of his birth, seems to be offered to us afresh each Christmas. If you accept thia gift you are far richer than with all that wealth can bestow. “It is no matter if w>e can’t have any great time. You tell father we don’t care,” said Fred, bravely. "But,” answered ins mother, “I know father will lie fur from happy that day, unless he. can see you ail having a merry time, and I have been trying to think of some inexpensive plan for our amuse ment. With a ccnteuted mind a little ■ may give great pleasure.” “Ob, mother, you always think of such lovely things. Nuw, do tell us your plan,” said Fannie, settling herself i on a hassock at her mother’s feet, while Fred stretched himseif at full length on the lounge, with his hands clasped over his head, eagerly exclaiming: “Your just spiel: lid, mother I Now proceed. Yaas audience is ready.” “Since we caunul remember each other by car usual vastly gills, we might i exchange im. at-- . j -euta, which we c«.u make ourselves, ut very little ex jienae, and yet have sojae of them very EMMONS, McKEE <fc CO.. SUCCESSORS TO EMMONS. EADS & CO. 87 IRXDMZE, 0.A.. CljtMng, Furnishing Goads, Hats and Man’s Fine Shoes. Our stok of Mtn’s Wear this season excels anything ever shown in Rune. We wmt every min in Cherokee county to give us a ca'l this fill and we will save you time and m >ney. This mav seem like big talk, but our immense stock, bought at extremely low prices, warrants us in making broad as.ser j lions- Ours is tee only establishment in Rime where is sold everything worn by the MALK SEX MAN OR BOY. For Good Goods, Correct S'vles and Seasonable Prices, we are ACKNOWLEDGED HEADQUARTERS. A careful comparison cannot feil to convince you es this fact. We will appreciate a oa.ll. ElifflllSi KEE & Cd., Men's and Boys' Ou Tillers, 87 Broa d Street. R M£, C pretty, and many of them quite amus ing.” "That will be jolly, mother," exclaimed Fred. “Can’t we make them for our company, too? I tell you we’U have fun. Let me see, what will 1 contrive for Miss Flamina Fiaminga. I guess I’ll ’’ “Don’t tell me,” interrupted Fannie, excitedly, putting both hands over her ears. “I want to be surprised.” “I thought we would, each of ns,” continued Mrs. Kingston, “prepare at least oue present for each of our invited guests, and also for our own family,” “Now, let us see how many there will be,” said Fred. “There’s uncle Albert, and aunt Lucy, John, Josh, and Bess from Chicago ” “How old is Bess, mother?” broke in Fanny. “Hold on till we've made up our list 1 Five; you count, that’ll keep you still, chick." "Is aunt Jenny, with her three chil dren, and their three darkey nurses, coming ?” asked Fred. “I expect them, and also uncle Caleb and cousin Beu,” sail the mother. “How many does that make, Puss ?” said Fred, pinching Fannie’s chin, for he had, during the talk, dropped Limsilf from the lounge to the floor, resting his head on Fannie’s lap. "Fifteen, with ourselves,” answered Fannie, promptly. "Bight, go to the head I” said Fred. “What can I give to Bess, mother?” inquired Fannie. “How would it do to make her a set of jewelry ?” “Splendid ; but how can I ?” “You can make her a gold set, of pin, necklace, bracelets and earrings to match, with lemon or orange [>eel, cut into suitable shapes and fastened by fine wire. The earrings can be attached to a slender thread that can be hung over the ear; or you can string, on rire or thread, barberries, cranberries, or pea nut shells. 1 heu Fred cau make Beu a watch.” “A watch, mother,” said Fred, jump ing to his feet, “capital, cupitaler, cap italist. Please give your directions in stanter. ” “Take a fair, round tnrnip, and scrape it till its surface is smooth and flat. Ou one side mark carefully with ink, figures as on the face of a watch. For the hands nse two different sized un dies, the eies of which iiicsi.ffi :ient ly large for a pin to pass through them and by means of this pin, fasten them in the oei tre of the turnip. Then cover the back and edge with plain or fancy silver or gold paper.” "That’s tip top and a half,” shouted Fred. “Fannie can give Ben,” resumed Mrs. Kingston, “a set of gold studs. Cover thro, boot buttons witii gold pa per, and insert the eyes into a small piece of card-board, Then pli.c:-tliem in a little jewelry box, with a bit of pink cotton, and they will look as if they had jnst come from the jeweler’s.” Fannie clapped her hands, exclaim ing : “That’s perfectly charming I Are the presents to be put on a tree mother ?” "I think not, my dear, but I have f plan which I urn going to divulge.” "Just tell me,” whispered Fred, put ting his ear toward his mother’s mouth. “No, indeed, Fred. We wnll have all the presents labeled the night before, and I will arrange them, ready for dis tribution Christmas morning.” "It will be a heap more fun not to have a tree, as * very body does, won’t it, Fan ?” “Yes, I guess it will 1” answered F innie. "Now, mother, do tell us some more things to make.” “With tissue paper you might make a lovely blue and white breakfast cap for Aunt Jenny—a white apron with pink pleated or gathered ruffles, for Aunt Lucy—a white neck kerchief, with an embroidery pattern traced around the edge, for Cousin Ada—a blue neck-ker chief, sprinkled with little pink rose bnds, cut out of paper, calico or cretonne, for Cousin Beriba—and em broidered and initial handkerchiefs, cravats and various other things suitable for nncles, aunts and cousins.” “Oh ! oh ! oh I” exclaimed Fanny, “how I shall delight to make them. This is going to lie better than any Christmas. What will be nice for father ?” “A pair of slippers of card-board and fancy paper will be a good present for you to give him. I think I will make a dressing gown of brown paper, with but tons, cuffs, collars, pockwelta, etc., of cardinal paper. I mean to baste it to gether so firmly that he cau put it on. I think it will be well to make each one a present of some ai tide of wearing ap parel, so that we cau all be gayly decked with our holiday riggings, tor at least a while, Christiuiiß morning. From card board and gold, silver and fancy paper yon cau make fruit and pen knives, the blades of which cau be fastened by a few stitches, so loosely as to allow them to be moved in and out; a variety of finger rings and napkin rings and toys, such as sets of furniture, sleds, carts, etc. From fashion plates, you can cut paper dolls aud dresses to fit. You can make a pretty book of silhouettes by tracing Kate Greenaway figures, then cutting them out of plain, black paper mid then pasting them in a blank book.” “I've thought a thought,” exclaimed Fred. “Attention, company 1 Won’tit be cute to give Uncle Albert a cane of stiff paper, rolled into the right shape. That will be sham support, sure enough.' “Yes,” said the mother, “that will be just the thing, tor we used to laugh at his fancy for cane*. There is father coming up the street. I shall have time to suggest but oue thing more—stereo scopic views. Cut a piece of card board the exact size of a view, aud finding two pictures alike so arrange them on the card, while looking at them through the glass, as to see only oue picture. You cau have fancy views and I think I cau find some mountain guide books which will supply you with mountain views.” As she finished speaking, Ihe chil dren, with one bound, dinted into the ball, to tell father what a splendid Christmas they were to have. After Fred and Fannie and thoi. ancles, aunts and cousins have parted for the night, Christmas Eve, with good wishes for a merry awakening, Mrs. Kingston expects to be busy at work arranging the packages which are to be given in the morning. In the dining room will be spread the table, as usual for breakfast. Mrs. Kingatou will lift the lid of the coffee urn and stow it with packages ; she will fill the cover dishes in the same manner. On the platter she will put bundles containing fish hooks and tm-kl ng, bait boxes, etc., covering these with a large paper fish which Mr Kingston made for the occa sion. Ou another platter will be a nice ly-browned turkey, which the cook has omitted to fill with the usual spiced compound. Mrs. Kingston will substi tute bundles, wrapped in oil silk, con taining a different kind of dressing, in the. shape, of articles of wearing apparel for the guests. There will be a dish of baked potatoes from which the insides have been re moved, and in each hollow skin she will put a fancy curd of Christmas greeting. Then she will take egg shells, the yolks and whites having been taken out through a small aperture at one end, and fill them with confectionery, pasting white paper neatly over the opening. For her dish of fruit she will have apples and oranges. Taking out the stem ends of the apples, like a cork, she will fill the centres from which the cores have been scraped, with nuts and raisins. The peel of the orange has been cut in quarters, two-tuird.s down, ami all the pulp very carefully removed. She will place a tiny buttonhole bouquet within each oue, and then confine with one or two stitches the peel at the tops. She will fold into each napkin an en velop containing an imitation check tor one hundred dollars on the Christmas Bank of the Wt stern Hemisphere of the W orld, signed Santa Claus. The larger aud more valuable presents she will place on a tray. After the company shall partake of the delectable viands, prepared to satisfy the appetite for fnn and frolic. Mrs. Kingston will be ready to gratify their appetites for dainty aud substantial edibles, by a most bountiful breakfast. If all these preparations are carried cut, if the vsrious odd tokens are finished, aud served at a breakfast table accord ing to the mother's plan, Fred. Fannie and all the w'iij be sure to enjoy a "Merry CUrtstma£ FARM AND GARDEN. Stabtino a Farm Garden. —A prop erly worked aud manured farm garden improves every year. Stinting with ordinary farm laud, it is almost impossi ble to get it in the best and highest con dition the first season. The chief reason for this in probably because, no matter now much manure we may use, it is difficult to get it thoroughly mixed with the soil. An eminent chemist, the late Professor Way, once said manure needed to be digested by the soil before it was in the right condition to be assimilated by the roots of plants. Tais may be somewhat fanciful, but at any rate, every gardener must have observed that raw laud, even though it may be heavily manured, seldom gives the best results the first year. To avoid disappointment the first season, therefore, we would earnestly recommend those who are about to start a new garden next spring, to commence preparation this autumn. If there is time for nothing more, remove all the rubbish and weeds and large stones. Plow it deep and well, and if the soil is dry enough to pulveriz ■, put on the harrow and roller, and reduce it lo the finest tilth. Tub Cuutivation of Onions.—Onion growing is a specialty in certain sections —principally on black, mucky land. The onions are grown year after year on the same laud. In many localities, where onions were once largely grown, the crop has been abandoned, owing to the ravages of the onion maggot. This gives farmers, in places where the crop is not extensively grown, a decided advan tage. The maggots are not likely to be very troublesome for a few years. To those proposing to grow onions for the first time wo desire to offer some sug gestions: Get the land ready for sow ing in the fall. Plow it, harrow it, pick oft' the atom b aud rubbish and work in all the manure yon can. Act exactly as though you were going to sow the seed, but do not bow it until spring. D.iil in the onion seed in the spring the first moment the land is dry enough to work. There are a dozen other little matters of more or It sb importance, but these pointe, properly observed, will do more to insure success than the whole dozen. As to the best land to select for sowing onions, we may say that we have bad good crops on light sand, and on heavy clay, and on black mnek, aud on soil pohsessing a greater or Jess degree of all these characteristics. Success depends more on the man than on the soil. Sbabonabue Hints.—B aled sm ill po tatoes, mixed with meal, will cause pigs to grow aud fatten. Give horses cut feed iu the winter. Cut the hay and oat-straw together, nnd sprinkle on the m< al; it saves the hny, uhTzes the straw, and the meal itself does better service. Corn stalks should be cut for cattle. If yon own an old horse, that has barely lived through the summer, it would be act of mercy to put him out of the way now. He would otherwise eat a ton or more of hay before spring opens, and then be worthless. Keep salt be fore the cattle, or at least so convenient to them, that regular “Baiting” will not be forgotten. Farmers should make a careful study of the feeding of store cat tle. They make a mistake who feed simply to keep the animal alive through the winter. It requires two thirds of a full ration to sustain life withoutgrowth whereas the other third will pro Ince growth, and yield a profit on ail the feed. The animal, which comes out in good condition in the spring, has a long way the start of one that, from insuffi cient food, must take a month on gras to get thrifty again. Do not delay fill ing the ice-house, for a single day, after the ice is six inches thick and of good quality. Get out the year's supply of fire wood, and auy logs needed for tim ber, lumber, etc. -American Afjrlcul turist for December. The larger boy had a uniform cap on his head, aud the smaller oue carried an empty kerosene torch. As they were about to separate to “parade” around the block, the larger one said: “Now, Put, you go down that way. If you meet a smaller boy than you are, hurrah for any candidate you want to, but if he is the biggest, don’t you do any hurrahing until you find out who ho hurrahs for. Then you must yell s>r the same man, or he’ll lick yo,” OUR FOREIGN COMMERCE. FactN nnd Fiaur* m ilmt Bewilder me .Umd. The figures representing values atm quantities employed by Mr. Joseph Nimmo, Jr., Chief of the Bureau of Statis tics, iu his report for 1884, on the for eign commerce of the U nite.d States, tire almost bewildering from their magni tude, and evm to minds familiar wi ll such subjects, those which represent the natiou's growth are astonishing. The value of the imports aud exports com bined for the year ending June 30. 1831, was $1,408,211 302. Our comm-ace with the countries of Europe was $9)4.- 752 (63 or 67 8 ) per cent ; with the colonies of N >rth America, M xioo, Cen tral America, and West Indies it was 8'2’28 538 551, or 16 23 per cent.; with South America, sll 6 980.891, or 7 60 per cent.; with Asia aud Oceauica, $96,166,- 320, or 6 83 percent.; with Africa aud colonies, $6 669 816, or .1/ per cent.; with all other oouutries, $15,103,658, or 1.07 per cent. The six principal ports stood, with reference to imports of merchandise, as follows: First, New York, 66.14 per cent.; second, Boston, 9.37 per cent.; third, Suu Francisco, 6.32 per cent.; fourth, Philadelphia, 4.77 per cent.; fifth, Baltimore, 1.62 per cent; and sixth, New Orleans, 1.56 percent. With respect to value of exports of do mestic merchandise the first six ports stood in the order of magnitude as fol lows: First, New York, 46 83 per cent.; second, New Orleans, 10.53 per cent.; third, Boston, 807 per cent.; fourth, Baltimore, 556 per cent.; fifth, San Francisco, 5.51 per cent.; and sixth, Philadelphia, 4.70 per cent. In 1884 the value of dutiable merchan dise entered for consumption was $(>G7,- 575,389, again5t5700,829.673 the preced ing vear. The total amount of duties was $190,283,836, against $210,637,293 the previous year. The number of immigrants arrived in the United States during the year was 518.592, against 603,322 the previous year, to wit: From Great Britain and Ireland, 129 294; from Germany, 179,- 676; from all other countr es of Europe, 143 236; from British North American provinces, 60,584. The immigration from China fell from 8,031 in 1883 to 270 iu 1884. The percentage of female immigriuite was: From Ireland, 49.7; irom England, 38 2* from Scotland, 37 5; from Austria, 42 3; from Denmark, 17; Ir >m France, 34.3; from Germany, l'i.6; from Italy, 19.2; from the Nether lands, 40 2; from Norway, 37.7; from Sweden, 37; from Russia, 37.3; from British North American provinces, 38.3, md from Asia, only 15. The total tonnage of vessels entered at seaports of the United States fell from 13 36) B>7 tons during the year ending June 34, 1883, to 12,085 613 tons during the year ending June 30, 1884. Ihe percentage of American tonnage entered fell from 71.56 in 18 >6 to 23.34 in 1881, aud the percentage of foreign tonnage entered increased from 28.41 in 1856 to 76 66 iu 1884. The percentage of imports and exports of merchandise carried iu American ves sels is now less even than the percentage of the tonnage of American vessels entered at seaports of the United States. The percentage of total imports and ex porte carried in American vessels fell loan 75 2 per cent, in 1856 to 27 7 |>er cent, in 1865. Since the year 1865 the proportion of imports aud exports in American vessels fluctuated much, but luring the year ending June 30, 1884, it was only 17.5 per eeut. Tue figures and statements relating to our internal commerce are most im pressive. In 1850 the number of acres of improved laud in farms was 113,032,- 614, against 284,771,049 in 1883. In 1850 the number of miles of railroad in operation was 9,021, against 121,592 in 1883. The number of tons of coal pro duced in 1850 was 7,358.899, agaicst 96 000,000 iu 1883. In 1850 the value of products of merchandise was $1,019,106,616, against $5,369,579,191 iu 1883. Hard Eating.—A cure has been dis covered in South America for elephan tiasis. It is to eat the flesh of a turkey buzzard—a bird bo loathsome that staiv ing people have been known to refuse it when ottered as a dish. THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT WE FIND IN THEIR COLOMS TO SMILE OVIK, Giving It Asvny—All Uneetlvlwv f.cs-on— On n Very Liirire -cnle—.ilo. e tiiwn a Uurlos hy-Did Nor Keep it. Ele. didn’t KEEP It. “Well, Mr. Slickers,” said the doctor, to a patient he had not seen the day be fore, “how are you getting along ?” “Nearly starved to death.” “Why, didn't you have oysters?” “No, I couldn’t get them the way you said, and I was afraid it would be dan gerous to eat them the other way.” "Why, that’s odd. Couldn’t get stewed oysters ? I told yon you could eat stewed oysters with impunity.” “That’s just it. I could get the stewed oysters easy enough, but I sent to all the restaurants in the neighbor hood for the impuuity, and the blamed fools said they never had such a thing on the bill of fare.”— Texag Siftings, ANTE-NUPTIAL HINT Eulalia (>entimentally)—Oh, no> I have no desire for great wealth. I should be happy, very happy, as thi wife of a noble bread winner. George (practically)—And I sbotud be happy, very happy, as the hnsband of a good bread maker. She concluded to learn.—Philadel phia Call. AN UNEDIFYING LESSON. They were young and romantic, and although the minute hand was pointing to twelve o’clock they stood upon the porch gazing at the stars. “That’s Jupiter, dear, isn’t it ?” she murmured. “Yes, pet, and that is Sirius,” he re plied, poiuting to another star. “Are you Sirius?” she cooed. He kissed her several times. Then he pointed upward and said: “That’s Mars, dove.” “And that’s pa's,” she whispered, as a footstep souuded inside, and if the young man hadn’t scooted he would have seen more stars than he ever' dreamed of. Her pa wears a 12’ witba brass toe.— Washington dial diet, THAT COUGH. A New York judge w.h minovcd bv the coughing of a (htuh. G and after remonstralu 2 sev i .1 n vain, exclaimed, "I am bound t" , that coughing. I’ll fine y u -&10. I think that will stop it.” “Jeilge, ’ said the cadaverous man who bad cau-i <1 tlie trouble, “I'll be willin’ to pay s2t> to hev that cough stopped. Es you ken stop it for $lO you’d better git down offen that bench and go to practicin’ medicine. There's money it, Judge— money in it. ” LOVE IN QUEBEC. "Whose 'ittle embezzer is oo?” "Use oose ’ittle embezzler.”— Life. SHB GAVE IT AWAY. He took her hand in his and ponrtx.. into her ear the soft, sweet story told over and over again since the world was youug. She smiled into his trusting face and coddled unde.r his downy chin. "I love yon so,” he gurgled. “Do you?” she murmured. “Then I will remain so ?” “Do you love me?” he inquired. "Don’t ask me oonundzums,” she re plied. “But I love you, darling,” he went" on, “and I’ve given you my whole heart. I have kept none of it back. It is al) yours—all yonrs.” “Mine to do just what I please with ?” she asked, in the sweet simplicity of girl womanhood. "Yes, darling.” “Then I shall give it to Mary Martin. She wants it, I know, and I haven't any use for yours and Bob Brown’s, 100, and Bob gave me his last night. You are too late.” He had discovered that he was.— Ci> ".innati Traveller. DO IT ON A LARGE SCALE. Old Gent—“ Stop? Stop! Do you know what you are doing? ' Seedy Stranger—“ Yes, sir; bnt I can’t help it, sir. I was about to steal a loaf of bread. lam starving, sir.” “No matter. Don’t you know that if vou should steal a loaf of bread you would be imprisoned ?’’ "Yi s, I know that; but what can I do, sir? I must live.” "Well, if you will steal, take the whole bakery, and then y< n can com promise with the proprietor."— Ph I Call. MORE THAN A CURIOSITY. "What is a curiosi y, ma?” asked lit tle Jamie. "A curiosity is something that is very strange, my son.” “If pa bought you a sealskin sack thia winter, would that be a curiosity ?” "No, my son; that would be a mir acle.”— Graphic. NOT SO STAJ W AFTER ALL. Mother (to slow small boy): “De hurry up, Bob. What jnakes you bo slow.” “I dunno.” “Then von ought to know; and c‘ • tell you, my sou, that unless um i to huriy, you will never be anyth egos ! a businessman when you grow up. ’ i “On, yes, I will, mil.” “How ?” “Oh, when T grow up I’ll go into business, and I'il hire a lot of clerks to do my hurrying forme.”— Philadi iphia Call. Very Good Marksmen. The extraordinary proficiency of the ’ Dutch Boers of South Africa in marks- I munship makes them dreaded enemies. I An Englishman who has been hunting ' among them lately says that he saw oue fire hastily at a bustard which was fiy ■ ing about two hundred yards distant, I and send a rifle ball through its body; ; but as this did not wholly stop the bird, which flapped rapidly along the ground, the Boer tired a second time, and cut off its head. British soldiers dread, with good reason, therefore, to face these sharp-shooting bush-fighters, animated by the idea that they are defeoidiug their firesides. tie Jamie.