Newspaper Page Text
12
WAITING FOR THE MAIL.
S. F! Fbs* in Detroit Free Pies*
With anxious features, worn and pale,
He waits the coming of the mail
Fach day h" asks with hope aud fear,
"My letter, is my letter here?"
Each day he hears in silence dumb.
“Not vet. old man. it has not come."
The harmless madman, old and gray,
No oDe would jeer or drive away
“Ah me." he says. "I< .eg years have past,
But It will come, twill come at last.”
And so he waits in silence dumb.
The letter that will never come.
Through misty vision of his tears
He see® the long, far sundered vears.
The i*ast comes up before him there
When he was strong, and she was fair;
Once more he feels in very truth.
The leaping pulses of his youth:
A strong. straDge joy he teels again
The old wild fever in’his brain
An angry word.a eareles* lone—
And she has gone and he's alone:
Since then he wails iu sik-tice dumb.
The letter that will never come.
Alas' his poor old w its are fled.
He cannot know that she is dead:
And so be asks it o'er and o'er,
The same old question as before.
He waits with morning light to say:
“My letter- -it trill come to-day."
With tottering limbs that almost fail,
He creep.' each morning to the mail,
And hears with ever new regret,
"Not yet, old man. not yet. not yet.”
And so he waits in silence dumb,
The letter that will never come.
Ah, me! poor madman, even we
Are dupes of fickle destiny;
In ceaseless hope we waiting sit,
For missives that were never writ.
W'e wait to see tie harvest grown.
Of seed that we have never sown;
We seek the harbor mouth to hail
Die vessels that will never sail.
We wait to see our garnet® filled
With fruit of fields we have not tilled
We wait iu gathering stillti .ss dumb,
For letters that will never eorne.
THE MARRIAGE MARKET.
A French Modiste Who Sympathizes
Wiih Prospective Husbands.
Fioni th*: yen: York JDve/ling Sun.
“So sorry for zat man; such nice man, - ’
laid a French modiste as sh-‘ looked out of
her windows near Fifth avenue. She was
ipenking to a journalist who had merely
Iropped in tp tell her to hut ry up that vei
ret Spring i-ooe for lus wife. Hb<* pointed
a subdued-looking, well-dressed broker
with a military beartitg, on his way down
town.
“What maker you so sorry for him.' BM
l*r be sorry for me, with that bill of yours
to pay.'
She laughed and replied: “Ze case is not
je same, monsieur. Vouch'd marry one splen
did girl. He, too. But. monsieur, you get
ze love and ze flesh: and he- well, monsieur,
be get ze money and ze h .-.* -- And h- side.
V) sick, of hees bargain. I ha? one nice
lee tie story about zat friend of mine, but t
o fraid you put it in ze paper. No; Bien:
ten here it ees:
“Two year ago I haf order to prepare one
grand t.lossesu for Mile. J( of Murray Hill.
Money; Oh. oui; plenty moniv. Family'
vaii v rich. I nor.sk (flout ze gentleman,
but I go ahead and fill out ze ladye— you
understand, monsieui’t Put ze cotton where
v- flesh ought to be, and make one lovely
Venus out of ze hones.
“Eh. bien! Zen come ze grand wedding,
big crowd at, ze church, and ze trip tz*
France- la Iwlle France!" And she clapped
her hands in reminiscent glee. “Zen zav
Come hack, and Major N (I will not, tell
rou hees name completei lie did call to see
ne. He look bad—not chic and bright like
se voung married man. Zen he say to me:
•‘Madame, you haf made of me one grand
fool—you and ze mir.istere. But eet was
beezme* and I swallow ze pill. I haf youth,
s, gfilde and a skeleton vife. Ees it not sad.’
fnalmany friends who think to marry
out *pv fear zay not get ze goods zay want.
Vouch si one fi n e beezmess wid ze riches of
'ijoftfc" iselles and ze widows. I vill make
golf Eery rich eef you do do what I zay.’
I ask, ‘What you haf to propose,
monsieur?’
“ ‘Only zees, madame,’ he sav, ‘I am one
beeziness man. Everything must be done
on beeziness principles. Efery man wants
ze goods zat he buy and pays bees monie for.
Eeef ze trade ees not faire. Invc is cheated
and he fly away. So now. Yen ze made
moiselles come for toilets, you take ze reel
measurement, and zen you take zee false one.
Haf I right V
“Oh, oui, monsieur,’
“ ‘So, - he zay, ‘Now to beeziness. I villa
lub form of foefty gentlemen. Zav will
pay you two huntert tollar apiece, and ven
*y want a diagram of ze reef mademni
lelle. yott geev z<-m ze truth. Vat yon zay?'
“Sacre bleu," continued the excited
JUgame to the reporter, “I do tell ze gentl**-
Jbdli zat eet' be talk big monie like zat, he
HHk' my hair to turn gray in one night,
HwMari* Antoinette’*. But’" she addtsl in
yft4v,-itching whisfier. “I did make zee con-
MM. and I atn one reech woman. Ven ze
jfililb memhaires send for diugrams of ze
Mt'ppmoiselie*, I fumee-sh zem, and zey
gpwey pay me extra monie. Eef ze goods
Ire genuine, zen eet is worth two hundrvt
lollaire to be sure; eef zay are sham, zen
set ees worth ze same dollaire to be warned,
{ees ees one lone-life job. But come zees
Vay, and I will show you what Gen. G.—lie
tery funny man—do call my lmne-ynrd.”
Here the chirpy Madame put a warning
Snger to her lips, and leading the way
'.brough the bric-a-brac ami post the tajies
srie* and her busy assistants st,op]ied Is-lore
i cosy back room, to which she carried the
>nlv key. In the right corner was a
mahogany case, about five feet high and
Jhree feet wide, filled with a series of slender
drawers, alphalietically ai'ranged Here, in
tins ghostly eharnel house, she hml pre
served the actual bust, arm and bin tmvis
uremeuita of a hundred or more fashionable
hellos of New York!
“No, no, monsieur; excuse moi. You
cannot open ze drawer and see ze names.
Not efen a club membaire could do zat.
Only can he get zc measurement he need for
j matrimonial guide. Zat is left to ze gen
tlemen's honor.
“Rather a risky business, madame,” the
reporter said. “It would ruin your trade if
knyone discovered the use you made of your
*onevord.
“Certainlee, monsieur. Eef ze great, se
pet get out I baf protection in ze monie I
haf in bank. Zen Igo quick away and leef
In France some more. But let me tell you,
monsieur, zat I haf great competition in z<
palls and ze opera. Zey do hurt some my
beeziness. So low do ze ladies cut zeir
dresses zat ze gentlemen can for ze price of
►ne opera teeket find out vat I would zem
tharge two hundret dollaire for. Perhap ze
time <*Jiue in one or two year, between ze
ypera und the seashore, zat; zc gentlemen all
fare my club. Eet would not pay item.”
“Po any foreign gentlemen, anv Italian
oounts or (k-rmau barons belong to tho club,
nadame f’
“Parbleu. what, n question, monsieur! Zey
■haf not objection to bymenial bones, eef zey
Are only goal plate<J; and zeu, how zey evaue
pay so foe to tieloug ?”
A French Love Powder.
Fi (Mi tar Prill M 'll Ornette.
A curious instance of how deeply old su
perstition., me still rn itd in remote part* <.f
UM country fa h case whi'‘h ha.- jut U*n
brought before the magistrates of Mui qiiel,
in the department of I/ii ret,, in Franc* A
short t ime ago the gr\ e digger of Fontana v
Mir-f/ang said to some workingmen with
whom hi we* talking at a l'errierns factory:
'‘i'erhaf< yon think that ileul mop's l sin's*
are of im ue to ujr one; but you an* m
< akuli. I liavc sold some i/> ten women
Jrotn FuTkfW." The |ioii(*. hearing of
tide uKWrmp. modi* inquiries), ami the to!-
lowing fin'll Were I'VntH: Tin women
from FeiTienn went to KnnUmay sulr Isnng
ai) asked ties gra * a dig •••r for man* Uuina n
Ixinm At tit ho ienid, but mu soon
faMMiarhii In yield by amjil<> lirlho. The
wtniir-ii, wlm |mml m tlto iiintri' t for
etiwii. tHiltliftl hotiM* hiding (he lean*
'or u short (fine, ami then bin mi,g them
imt laufnlly patlsriiig up lie cinder*:
beir |*ii)inie Imiih In |*)ore iov*
height f> a young an<l pieUy nwir > v
mi* wi*, hurt ordered it In it- onqm r the
Volt f • I Oir wfc.. tied 1.10.1 her /*#
II OM E S EO E TII E PEOP E E.
c-' c; ' •*
i -$?wPw p 1
-illi£mliPi .81- i
<lB2!BB3ffi'JS£SeirG£t iSM'yWEtj&'i.- - : -'A'ffYC-a:^s &&&■!s laixwsytgar izarieviK n;-yiMsa—p^
- ■■ nc.m )nm*m
fc-r.-v
/j v !
L Jj ii
jj ) I
fr*-q.. Q
FIRST FLOOR
Two bed-rooms of fair sizes on each side of the hall in the second story. Each has a good closet.
Brick wall under the whole house, with cellar under the kitchen, dining-room and hall. ,
Wood mantles provided for the parlor and the dining room.
On the first floor plan the dotted square in the kitchen indicates where the stove should lie placed
It the house is built upon a post foundation, without cellar, the cost would be reduced,about §lOO.
The above design was furnished us for publication by the Cooperative Building Plan Association, a large firm of Architects doing business at 19! Broadway Mew York
who make a specialty of country and suburban work, Umg able t.> furnish the drawings and specifications for more than three Hundred different designs, mostly of low
and moderate cost. They invite correspondence from all intending builders, however distant. They will send their latest publication (called Shoppell's Modern’ Houses No ft]
containing more than fifty designs, on receipt of §l. ’ ’ '
DIVINING RODS.
Tests Made With a Set of Them Owned
in Chicago.
From the Chicago Tribune.
A set of divining rods are the latest acqui
sition to Chicago's collection of wonders.
Not a divining rod such as has been used for
the last eighteen or nineteen centuries, and
which every man who lias lived in “drouthy
Kansas” knows of, but a whole set of rods.
The ancient divining rod was a witch-hazel
or ash twig forked, apd will) it precious
metals could lie located, though hidden
many feet below the surface of the earth.
It was also said to Is- an unfailing indicator
of hidden sources of water. The set of rods
to which allusion is made here has not all
those |>owers. Their only affinities are gold
and silver, and these two metals they will
always locate. At least so says their owner,
a middle-aged and very intelligent lady
living at No. (i! Thirty-seventh street. A
reporter called upon her and obtained some
information concerning the rods, and was
also permitted to see them and to watch
their action. They are slender nieces of
fibrous wood, four in number, and a little
larger than an ordinary lend pencil. They
look like the common hemp, but are stained
red. One end of each of the sticks is whit
tled down to a point, while the other is cut
in the shape of a V, so that the ends fit into
each other. When their owner brought
them out and exhibited them site remarked:
"1 don’t know that you w ill be convinced
of the efficacy of these little sticks, because
they are so simple. Hut you know the
greatest things have been achieved by sim
ple instruments. I only claim that there
is an affinity between these sticks and the
metals gold and silver, and 1 have demon
strated the fact so often that my claim can
not be shaken. 1 obtained the sticks from
a friend of mine who spent many years in
Mexico among the Mexican Indians, and
who was by them placed in possession of the
secret powers of t his shrub, which grows in
the mountains of that country. These little
sticks which you see here located £IO,OOO in
gold which had been hidden in Monterey.
Mex., and since I have had them $1,0(10
buried in an open field in New York State
was located by then], but one neiLs to lie
educated somewhat to understand the in
struments."
The lady then gave the reporter two of
the sticks, with instructions to hold them
by the poiut< between the thumb and first
linger, tit'' point of the index lingor of each
hand touching each other. She took hold
of the other two sticks in the sutne maimer,
litted the notched ends togetherandawuitcd
developments. But lieyond a slight (inher
ing of the sticks, such ns might have arisen
from th<> muscular tension, though the
sticks were belli very light ly, there were
no developments. “Wait a moment,” said
tiie lady, "the little things don't know what
to do. S’on have gold and silvern! out you,
haven't you' Yes, a watch mid chain. All!
see, they liegin to move," mid th .'.ticks
began to boo up and down, apparently of
their own volition, tor nuiliier the reporter
nor tlia lady did anything to piodoce sir h
action. Then, that the actmn of tne -ticks
might lie seen to letter advantage, the i*.
|saler placed hi - watch mi l chain and some
gold und *ib“r coin on h table in un udj n
mg room and again took hold of tic tj
which soil bcg'iii to swing around toward
Me* tah> containing tin' nn-tal. Tin* |*>,i
twin of thu table wan then chunked - .ml
times an I tie* sticks i nrrl I into - tic,
room*, bill whenever fin- not* lied ends n on
Vigeihei ftiry swung around in tic
•efts'll'.l, ul Uu> t opart M' l do)sa.ll.
''Jfow. ' said the own* of the enjleil.ori.
“t know you are not Nhiisi ’ 1 hi yen ~y ~
mind that Mils Is a fait !.' *■' tiiat i did II
• ms' i lie iol to naive but it i- a fact Un!
I last nothin? to do with It end also tli.l
•' v • <*< i. i• •>* ( i Mis mats a O.l u.-
saoe result will < ,i-u* I am linn king ut
• * •. ... nr, ~ a i,„ st,
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, APRIL 24, 1887-TWELVE PAGES.
PERSPECTIVE VIEW.
DESCRIPTION OF DESIGN.
Size or Structvb®—Front, 33 feet, 6 inches. Ride, 21 feet.
Size of Rooms—See floor plans.'
IlEtonT os- Stories—Cellar, fi feet, 6 inches; First Story, 9
cut; Second Story, 8 l'cet.
Materials—Foundation, brick; First Story, clapboards; Sec
uid Story, clapboards; Roof, shingles.
Cost—§l.lso to §1,300, complete.
Special Featpres—A compact arrangement of rooms in
simple form,affording good accommodations for a family of six or
even.
The parlor or family room is large, and has two closet", and
an alcove or bay a; the end. It has a chimney breast and flue for
a stove, which is connected with the kitchen and dining-room
chimney. Where there ie a large room for genera! sitting, as in
this design, there is no necessity for the other rooms to be very
large.
cately poising the rods so that they will lie
removed altogether from human influence.
I know they w ill operate that way just as
well as in my hands. And they will also
locate gold and silver in mountains or
plains. Take it in u large area and they
will point toward the treasure until they
are directly over it, and then they will lie
gin to spread apart. When t hev do that
you may know you have found treasure.
! A city is a bad place to make a test of these
instruments, because there is so much metal
round at suit one to affect the instruments.
I'll give you an illustration: I was trying
an experiment with one of my friends in
the house here one day. He had concealed
some money, and I was to timl it with the
aid of the rods. Well, when they were
placed in position they insisted on moving
toward an open window that faced an open
window jn Uie house adjoining. The gen
tleman bad not gone out of the house, ami
he rallied me about the failure of the rods,
and said he had the money in his pocket.
But 1 knew there was something wrong and
that the rods were telling the truth, and,
sure enough. 1 learned a short time there
after that there was a fine display of wed
ding presents in the house opposite, and of
course the attraction for the sticks was to
ward the greatest quantity of metal. This
same phenomenon was witnessed in New
York .Stato where $1,500 was hidden in a
field in two uacknges, otto of *I.OOO and the
other of iSoflO. The rods passed din-tly over
the soOii and indicated the spot where the
SI,OOO was buried."
The visitor wo* compelled to admit that
he didn't think the t".st he had witnessed was
sufficient to dissipate his credulity, and was
invited to tome again, when preparation*
might la* made for a more thorough and ex
acting test of the merits of the rods. Hub
sequeutly he met Mr. K. Morgan, who is
employed by Manasse, and was to,d bv Mr.
Morgan that he und a friend named \Vug
lier had set*n the sticks at work; and that
they had apparently loci ted a liox contain
ing gold and silver which had been hidden
in a closet in the house unknown to the lady
who owns the treasure-finders and whose
fait.li in them is so strong. Mr. Morgan was
net inclined to express an opinion as to the
merit of the indicators.
THE PRESIDENT’S MAIL.
Letters From all Sort3 of People, In
cluding Children.
/■■"• 11l Wellington Letter to A'cio Yurk Herald.
The i’ivsideiit’s mail contains an average
of from lik) to *l5O letters a day from per
sons whose claims for pension are pending
before the de|irlnic-nt. Those people ml
dresa the (Ihiei Executive in the belie/,
probably, that the pension office is next door i
to the White llotisi* and thut theta* is the
only letter he may have received in it u,%*k.
COAXINU Mils. CI.EVKLA.Vi>.
About or ' half of these litters are sent to
Mi-s. Ciovcland. The writers in such canes
ii" n i:illv Mi,* wives or daughters of tin*
o I'tamers. Some of them i*)*tow upon
*ii c v . laud such titles as “Her Mijost y,”
'■l'i'ijc, •*' an J other appellation* uf royal
t . I'licrn arc few of the letters that do not
contain Minn* touch*-- of human nature
'l’ll' v are i vid< iitly writ ten In the sincere I*
lei Hint Mis. Cleveland will nx*mt the.lt if
her ill.ipillik* *un only I*. amused. U Ith
i** - 1 ’ • <■t in view n y rent mass of detail
•et forth "i tla- ■‘otmnitnieati u. which, t<
■ *■ with obscure fliimgraphy and tmd
p iliiig, rairke it* undcrsuiiiiliiig a matter of
it ii's.tH/ih mbit* time and k|l*n
It nmy lm said In Mils niimci’tion that
n Hi 1 ' I'risHiient inn* Mr*. fTetwiland is
* "fi aware of tn** esj-teue,, of ih* |#*tt *isi.
I in * ais* oiMmod by an unr*'mantle sod mi
siioo. nt. ■ Ii rk .a it** Ki.ruUn Mansion
Horn elm-* iuuui* May fall into tbo waste
!*asbt aad nee lev nr heard nf ag nil
I lim w.iiie-n wiui wklroMs Mrs Clavriand
•' * -*-• ...... M,. I*4o .. I
method of presenting their claim to the
President. One of the plans which a p rusal
of the letters show that- all women hold in
common is for her to wait until Mr. Cleve
land has had his supper and then, when he
is enjoying a quiet smoke in the parlor (*fc)
tiring the matter to his attention. Many of
them tell her that, this is the hour of theclay
when a man is most amenable to argument,
and that they (the writers) prefer this as the
safest time for presenting their own re
quests.
THE SOLDIER HABIT.
The applicants for pensions who write to
the President are, as has been said, old
soldiers, who, like the feminine part of the
family, are sadly and iflcicnt in the principles
of even an elementary education. They
write, too, in a more vigorous style than
their helpmeets, and their language is some
times ol so robust a nature that it fre
quently provokes a smile. For example, an
Illinois man who addresses the President in
a letter received to-day savs:
“The pen con officials tell tile to got cor
roborative i vidt’.nco from some of my com
rodes. I want to say to you that it’s a hell
of a hard matter to get evidence from men
who go into an action and never conic out
again,” and then he continues by saying that
Ills company went into the Wildern-o -a hun
dred strong, and at the end of the sev >n
days' tight there were bur nine of the num
ber who were left to mi! the tale.
LETTERS FROM CHILDREN.
Sometimes ,he letters are written by
children, who begin iu this fashion:
“Dear Mr. President— l am a little girl
only 10 years ot u -:v. My papa does not
know lam writing this letter. If he did lie
would not, permit it.”
Then follows a pathetic tale of wsnt and
misery, touching enontrh in its simple style
of treatment, but rendi retl doubly so by the
fact of tho writer’s youth and innocence.
Several mouths a-u, one of these touch
ing missives-cliani *i to reach the Presi
dent's eve. Its simple pleading touched a
synipathotie chord in the President's heart.
The little miss hoe;;' and the retention of her
father, a Republican, ott the Board of Me li
cal Examiner* in tho Mi w Englan 1 town , ,
which their home was located. See said lie
was very old and rlyir of an incurable dis
ease. 'lie- rxwition pole! him a salary of
about Rl.’JOtin year, and in vi ,v of r IMI fact
he could no lon’.- r practice his profession the
foregoing so-, was t:... ; -only source of in
come. The letter concluded naively in those
word-:
“Pnpn must not kim w about this. It must
Is* a i-cret Ivtwce;: yit and me. If von de
cide to lax'ii him mark an X on the hack of
the inci s., and post'd nni and then I will
know that you are ,7<>iti . to grant my wi.-li."
1 h** I’lvsideut sent the letter usd cn
cln*,u*e to ('oimniie:.liter of Pensions black,
with this ind,irwunt at:
“If there me no charges against tlv* ex
aminer in question you will oblige rnt- by
retaining l in in his presi nf ivisitiou.”
(Sen. lliai , inv. *ii.,.0.-i the matter and
fonn.i that the ■■xaminer was not an old
man, Imt, mi thu eotitrarv, a lusty young
Icllow s".-,' ;y ,ui * m.ics if a.*", and t.lmt .*)
tar feu.' Imvmg • a hi'l<*glrl only 10 years
'it ng he a..* not ecu iu>irri(*d.
Ilmi< |. rapli ul.er tin* isMii.tn't carry his
ibsini. al .pi,.-., cnoagii t> Jnm, and since
Mull lime i 'Uctn from little girls who write
wit limit th'll |hi j sis kiiowli* Igc are tu< mi
tumntly di .trnv *i us “fskis 1 pure u:id
simple.
A WOMAN IN DIBTREK3.
boraiimu That Mad# tho blood of tho
v'niuiiixir* hiuu Cold
hum the rhhngn Mml
*'’ • 1 " '! their we- Intense ercjtenient
out oil J.!, nveiiU" ins! ulKhl would lm put
ling it ti.i luiidl). Hueii a Umu isiuid not
HitU'llt* tr*** lliu | •miiU*
™ ,v ir /J ■ vy
l> * s fll , t 1
j Tyoom | | •
l [Jj j=j |
IjWj<4 Room li Vk f V !
|j n®cj rjoom ’
"** O '**> •;
l\o n|t
SECOJiii '"'*ol'
blocks along that thoroughfare, as the wild
screams of a woman in distress, followed by
suppre-ood promts, ns from one in torture,
and the sharp report of a pistol shot, all pro
ceeded from the lower flat of tJS.VJ, rang out
on the quiet night. In a few seconds hun
dreds of h*>ads were protruding from liun
dreds of windows, and hundreds of tongues
were faking:
“ Where is iff’
“What is it?”
“Who is it.'”
Then tins houses began to empty them
selves into the street, and soon a large
crowd of excited people were gathered
.".round m.n.v;. The individual who shouts
“lire' 1 when anything unusual occurs was
not present, but the individual who turns in
an alarm for the police patrol was there,
and he wasted no time.
In the meantime the crowd increased, the
plot thiekened, and the susponse Ik'came in
tolerable. Various stories, founded on
theory, were passed around. A woman had
first been assaulted, then murdered! Burg
lars ha i broken m, had Issui discovered,
iiad killed the lady of the house! A deceived
husband had returned utiexp. etedly, found
that another had taken his place and—mer
ciful heavens!—had revenged himself. A
woman hod been attacked by a mouse!
Somelfoily !md blown out the gas and an
explosion followed! It was the snumed
lover ot her youth, who romnntted suicide
and came back to haunt her.
And in tlie midst of it all the patrol
wagon drove up, the police entcnxl the
house; a cold chill passed over the multitude
°utsid •; ail was suspense, anxiety, agonizing
fear, suppressed emotion.
Then th<> police come out, jumped into
the patrol wagon, and drove oft. The secret
was buried under their winter overcoats.
They were not communicative. Thev gave
no satisfaction.
What had they seen! What had they
learned?
Just this: That Mrs. Kidder, whose hus
band was away, was occupying (.lie (la;
ac'iie; that at the seasonable hour of 0
o’clock p. m., when all well-regulated,
healthy, lone women liegin to yawn, she set
prejir.ring her chamber for the night;
u .i in the performance of this worthy do
iiiestic and nee w iry duty it became necev
y, "T for h. rto ad just a new-fangle 1, Ivvk
.•. •t.on, folding liedst-ad, which in th day
-I,;r •”• utasl to deceive the eye into the
belief tnut if i awi 11-filled wardrobe; that
slie pulled the front clown and began to
smooth the covering: that she threw back a
corner ot the seme from the (lead and re
in nod the pillow shams and arranged a
place for her hand; that while lean
ing across the bed s), e must
have tickled the internal icing in a fur.nv
’■! oi I hat it throw its hind hr;., into the air,
*-’ m :i l;i ■!■ c.f smiremn safisluetion, and
elosci t'fjut yon Mik. Kidder, wiucvzi ug her
Isi.ly M;'u:■ -t the frame: that wnen sir* uw
the I- v ! rising tip she screamed as only a
terrified woman cm, scream; that she was
- • liorridixl she couldn’t move, and that
tleally the machine wouldn’t let her move;
Jlai shi continued {o sonvun until ex
huuste I, an l that in the midst of In r ,scream
i ng a nervous young man who occupied a
tooin iij •‘tons,flunking tin ts* were burglars
in fie* house, fin'd <.,T his pistol to alarm the
nrighlmrhnod, and then covert'd up his head
wi; ■ i hr Iml clothing.
Tiiis i* what iln* policemen found out, and
this is why they aid not tarry. Tilt*v re
lomvs) the r.xlmu ttsl. falntlu;, woman from
the grasp of the demoniac folding bed,
tin* w soin<‘ water in her fins*, and on re
turning to tli. mr.tlon sent her n doctor.
I hi' doctor to-day i ejiorted that 111* (latieut
was lining well and ilmt her ultimata i*e
Oovery was proliMble if sill' Would only move
out "f .he neiglil.|'||(l
so that all the Kills a venue were
wcag in their i'i ii wi*. -| ar* ■ * Tie* entire ||f
tii'uity pi* out of a inPnndoixUiiulPig with
tie’ fol.nilg lesl, win.’li. it seems. Is of a **-ii
sit ie and geldy |s<tterii, and ituTl stand
A ROMANTIC JOKE.
How a Sham Wedding Turned Out
Real.
Charleston (III.) Special to Globe- Democrat.
There is lying very ill in this city an old
gentleman, 75 years of ago, whose early life,
inclusive of love, courtship and marriage,
forms a fitting basis for a writer of ro
mance to weave therefrom an interesting
story. Buti tis just as interesting to the
reader, perhaps, to chronicle the actual
events connected therewith. The old gen
tleman is one of the most widely known cit
izens, whose name appeared at one time in
the columns of the (.Hobo-Dcmocrat among
the names of the most wealthy citizens of
Coles county—Mr. Richard Stoddard. He
has been a citizen of Coles county since 1 838,
mid has beon identified with the county's
growth.
Mr. Stoddard is one of the class of men
who never grow old in thought or action,
always possessed an admiration for a joke,
lias delighted telling them to others anti
equally delighted in having them jierpe
tratetl on himself, in thoso early days of
settlement in Illiuois it was quite customary
(as in all new countries, it seems) to tender
considerable license to practical joking.
About the time of which we write there
lived in Charleston a justice of the peace
named H. C. Dunbar. Dunbar was also a
tun-loving individual, and Stoddard and he
wero in tile habit of playing practical jokes
from time to time on each, other, which
finally resulted in a rather serious one.
It seems that one bleak, dreary day in the
month of March, as disagreeable as March
days can sometimes be, Mr. Stoddard came
to Dunbar and informed him that a friend
of his (Dunbars), who resided some 20 miles
from town, was to be married that day and
had requested that ’Squire Dunbar be sent
up to perform the ceremony. Fees were
things sought after more assiduously then
than now, marriage, as well as any other
kind, and Dunbar, nothing doubting, pro
ceeded on the journey. Arriving at the
[>oint of destination nearly frozen he was
appalled to find it was only a huge joke of
Stoddard’s. He said nothing, but indulged
inwardly in a few pages of profane history,
and backward turned home, taking it good
naturedly and biding Ins time to pay off
Stoddard in his own coin. An opportunity
presented itself during the next winter.
It was the custom of early settlers to get
up mock-weddings at their parties of some
couple who were particularly “sweet” on
each other, having the sham ceremony per
formed by some sham official or sham clergy
man. One of these parties were given on
Christmas evening, 1844, and Dunbar, with
the design of retaliating upon Stoddard,
'■vent to the County Clerk’s office, Samuel
Huffman being the clerk, and procured a
marriage license for Richard Stodaard and
Catherine llizor, a young lady with whom
he hod been keeping company for some time.
Armed with his document 110 proceeded to
the party, and engineered matters so suc
cessfully as to have Stoddard and Miss Rizor
parties for the ceremony. Asa justice of
the pea"e, he was called onto perform the
(supposedi sham wedding. Confronting flic
couple with due solemnity for a wedding “for
keeps” he asked the usual questions re
quired by law, was answered satisfactorily,
and wound up by saying t.nat, as they were
aware he was an officer, authorized by law
to perform the marriage ceremony, asked if
it was their “desire to lie united in holy
wedlock*’’ They answered in the affirma
tive and he, holding the license in his hand
(which they supposed was nothing but a
blank piece of paper) went through with the
ceremony in full, received the responses and
solemnly pronounced them “man and wife."
He turned away, made out the certificate
with the usual witnesses, went over to the
Clerk's office where he returned the certifi
cate and had it recorded that night without
giving a hint of the genuineness of the pro
ceedings.
The next day, however, the matter leaked
out, and so many of Stoddard’s friends joked
him about being married in so novel a man
ner be went to the Clerk’s office to investi
gate and found it true. He went to the girl
and informed her what had occurred, when
quite an excitement arose. Of course she
cried and Stoddard swore, no doubt: not
that they objected to each other, but to
the way they were inveigled into it.
At last Stoddard informed her they had
better make the best of a “horrid joke'" and
call it genuine. Like a good, sensible
woman, as she was, she consented, and so
the sham wedding turned out a real one,
and, perhaps, there never 1 i vet! in Charles
ton or anywhere else a more devoted and
loving couple than Mr. and Mrs. Richard
Stoddard. Mrs. Stoddard died in 1812, leav
ing behind her a record worth of imitation
by the young women of this country.
As to ’Squire Dunbar, he was last heard of
in Texas; but, if living or dead, he doubt
less has often reflected that he paid Stoddard
for his joke, with compound interest.
ALL ABOUT SOLOMON’S WIVES.
An Easter Monday Conversation Be
tween Two St. Paul Ladies.
From the St. Paul Globe.
Two neatly-dre.ss.sd ladies sat in a West
Seventh street car the day after Easter, on
their way home from a down-town shopping
excursion, and this is the conversation they
indulged in between St. Peter and Wash
ington streets:
“I saw you at church yesterday, Mrs.
Smith.”
“O, yes; I never miss Easter services, you
know. “
“Wasn’t it lovely f"
“Be-e -u-tiful! 1 never saw such lovely
flowers in my life. Did you notice that'
double fuschia!”
“Yes: ami I just couldn’t keep my eyes off
of it. Whose was it, do you know*”
“Mrs. Brown’s. She raised it from a slip
she got in California two years ago. TU.it
calla lily on the right of the pulpit was a
pretty thaig."
“Wasn’t it sweet! So fragrant, too. That
was the largest oleander I ever saw. Did
you notice it f’
“Yes; that's mine.”
“Why, Mrs. Smith, you don’t say that
that lovely oleander that stood near the
chancel rail w as yours i”
“Yes; 1 raised that from a small twig.”
“Well, I never.”
“Didn’t those hyacinths smell too sweet
•
“Just ravishing, and those lilies of the
valley, toot”
“Hein.”
“Humph.”
“Did you notice Mrs. Tripp’s now bon
net?’’
“Well, 1 should think T did. Wasn't it
just too perfectly awful fur anything?
Didu t look a bit like an Hosier bonnet to
me."
"Nor me either. Too much ribbon in
front, I thought, though Ha v re trimming
their i Kilim As high this season.”
"I know, but I didn’t like it a bit; now
Mrs. I.ip K s honivt was in.*' too cute for
anything, I t.Jiought. Tint pink ribbon
J.ist .-*ct her cnnipi,Moil oft benultiully.
"Yl, I noticed that.”
“Well, 1 thought I wouldn't r,‘ A anew
bonnet this spring, i had rather wait tui
ilex! fall.”
“So Inal 1.”
“flow’d you like the sermon
“What.’'
“How did von like the sermon?"
“O, yes. tlie sermon, f), 'tu.is pretty
g'-sxl, 1 guess. My i'li'baml said ’two*. Do
you r"iiuuiils>r llie subject?”
"Why yes, Twin iliout, Solomon's wives.”
“O, >■*, I most forgot.”
“I get olt here, good by. Come in and
•ee me.”
“yes, you come down and see me,”
“Yet*, giKsl-by,"
•'(!<.l by .’
Teaclior (giving iiire<’tlon.*tor standing)—
Htiimt with youi ln-, Is tog, ther, to,- turn'd
< ut, making mu angle of pi dig, Tips * a .
Pillowed liy U liaik of Is w lloei nsint "II one
Iki) ln**. roai’i.er Well, Ton, ifo pH!
know wind 1 mmi’f lio you know whirl a
degree I*? Pupil - Ye*, sir. Tea. her
V* lout I'upil-Hi*tv tine utet on*-fourth
mil.. l„t', ,1- ' nf pt
BROWN’S \RON BITTERS ’
TIRED OUT'
At this season nearly every one newt t „ ™
enrt of tonic. I RON enters into
Rcian’s prescription for those who need LoildmJ 111 *
B R p| fll g^|
I TUktdnlc-
Fop \Ycnknesft, l.iUMiiude. Lack *4
ft.nernr etc., It IIAN No EQUAfftnd *
lue only Iron medic mo that is not ini..™!
It Enriches the BlooS, fn?KoWt2? o t ! £
hyntem, Restores Appetite, AissDiUestiol!
it ones not blacken or injure tha tenth, council,,,,
ache or pro, uce constipation—oir /run
DP- ,Q- H Binkley, a leading physician of Sprirn.
field. Ohio, says: '
." Brown's Iron Bittern is a thoroughly good miv
cir.o. I use it ill my practice, and find its acti™ m
ca:>: all other torms of u-cn. In weakness, oralowcS
ditton ot tno system. Brown's Bun Bitters is usunlli
a positive necessity. It is oil that is claimed forit a
Dil. W. N. Waters, 12!9 Thiny-second Street.
Georgetown, D C., says: "Brown’s Iron Bitter, ~
the Tamo of the age. Nothing better It crests
appetite, gives strength and improves digestion.’’^
Gennino has above Trade Mark and crossed red fin.,
on wrapper. Take no other. Made only hr
BkOWN CHEMICAL CO., BALTIMORE, Mlk
LOTTERY.
li.S.L.
CAPITAL PRIZE, $150,000.
“ HV do hereby certify that tee supervise n
arrangement* for all (he Monthly mid Semi-
Annual Drawings of the Louisiana State lot
tery Company, and in person manage amt com
trot the //rawing* themselves, and that the sarns
are conducted with honesty, fairness, and m
Stood faith toward all parties, and we nuthorki
the Company to use this certificate, with f.-yj.
similes of our signatures attached, in its attest,
tispnentsf'
Commissioners.
H'c the undersigned Honks and Rankers trill
pay nil Prices drawn in the Ijraisiana State Lot
teries which maybe presented at our counters.
J. H. OGLESBY, Pres. Louisiana Nat'l Bar,*.
PIERRE LANAUX, Pres. State Nat'l Bank.
A BALDWIN, Pres. New Orleans Nat'l Ban,
CARL KOHN, Pres. Union National Bank,
r nprecedented Attraction i
* Over Half a Million Distributed.
LOUISIANA STATU LOTTERY COMPANY.
Incorporated in 1808 for 25 years by the Legis*
lature for Educational and Charitable purposes
- -with a capital of $1,000,000 —to which a reserve
fund of over $550,000 has since, been added.
By an overwhelming popular vote its franchise
, was made a part of tne present State constitu
tion adopted December 2d, A. D. 1879.
The only tottery ever voted on and indorsed
by the people of any State.
It never .scales or postpones.
It* Grand Single Yumber Drawings take
rdace monthly, and the Semiannual Draw
ngs regttinrly every six month* (June and
December!.
\ *S*Llv\!>!D OPPORTUNITY TO \\\\
A FORTUM-:. FIFTH GRAND DRAWING,
(’LASS !•;. IN THK ACADEMY OF MUSIC,
NT.AV ORLEANS. TUESDAY. May 10, I**7-
201t!i Monthly Drawing.
Capital Prize, $150,000,
63?” Notice. Tickets are Ten Dollars only,
Halves, $5; Fifths, $2, Tenths, sl.
LIST OF PRIZES.
1 CAPITAL PRIZE OF 8150,000... sl!W.*
1 GRAND PRIZE OF 60.009 .. 50,00)
1 GRAND PRIZE OF 80,000.... 20.006
2 LARGE PRIZES OP *0,000... 20,<M
4 LARGE PRIZES OS ,000 .. 20.001
20 PRIZES OF 1,000 ... 20.000
50 " 500 ... 25.(01
10*1 “ 300. 30, oy .
200 “ 200 . 40.006
500 “ 100.. 60,001
1,000 “ 60... 50,06
APPROXIMATION PRIZES
100 Approximation Prizes of S3OO $30.06
100 “ 200 20,06
100 “ “ 100... 10,061
2.179 Prizes, amounting to £35.06
Application for rates to clubs should be niaui
only to ihe office of the Company in New Of
lea ns.
For further information write clearly, givni
full addre.-... I’OST AL VO I Bs, Express Mone)
<trders. or Npv.- York Exchange In ordinary lev
t**!’. Currency by Exiji-csh (at our expense) aa
dressed M. .4. llAmilW.
scw Orleau*, La*
or M. A. DllTHliV,
\\ mililngton, D. C.
Address Reeislered Lei Ik? to
NEW OR Lilt Ms N ATSOJfAL BANK.
New Orleans b*
REMEMBER th Cp f( 2
Early, who are in charge of fh drawings. i *
guarantee of ahaolute fairness and integr-vj
that the chances are nil equal, and that no ui
can possibly divine what number will dra* i
IU; MEMBER that the payment of ail Priz
is til iIiVMCED BY FOI'R YITIOYU
BWK* of New Orleans, and the Ticket# an
signed by t4v* Prudent of an Institution.
chart ere*! lights are recognized in the nuz j
Courts; therefore, beware of any imitatioi
anonymous schemes.
William Ravenel, President.
PHOSPHATE COMPANY
CHAItLESTO N, S. C.
EttTAJBL lISHED 1 *7O.
HIGH GRADE FERTILIZERS.
SOLUBLE GUANO (hishly ammomatedk
DISSOLVED BONE.
ACID PHOSPHATE.
ASH ELEMENT.
FI/ >ATS.
GERMAN KAIN’IT.
HIGH GRADE RICE FERTILIZER.
COTTON SEED MEAL.
COTTi )N SEED HULL ASHES.
Office, No. 13 CnoAU STM*r.
All orders promptly filled.
r. M. MEANS, TrMMrtT.
BAKER’S COCOA,
SLjrtfMW
/(TcMllF** l'noon, i rota " h,l ' k J h "'.
iml k ’Tt timesths strength ot locos
p,
ftV i l[|.u 1 I
*• -ft& g u u by liiv"! 1 "I"**I
W. baser & CO., Dorctifsler. I