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4 C|f|HorningHetos Morning, News Building, Savannah, Ga. THI'BSUAY. JLXE It. 1887. Registered at the Pest Office in Sava in ah. The Morni so News is published every day In fbe year, and is serve*! to subscribers in thr nty, by newsdealers and earners, on ine:r own ac count, at 25 cents a week. $1 00 a month, $5 00 for six months and $lO 00 for one year. The Morning News, by mail, one month. $1 00: three months, $2 20; six months, J 2 00; ODe rear. $lO 00. The Morning Mews, by rut il. six times a week iwithout Sunday issue-., three months, $2 00: six n.onths. 5! ® one year. $8 00. The Mof.mno News. Tri-Weekly Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs days and Saturdays, three month*, $1 t!3; nix months. $2 50: one year. $2 00 The Scxmv News, by mail, one year. 52 00. The Weexlt News, by mail, one year. $1 25. Subscriptions pavahle in advance Remit by postal order. check or registered letter. Cur rency sent by mail at risk of senders. Letters and telegrams should be addressed “Morning News. Savannah. Ga.” Advertising rates made known on application. INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. Meetixgs—Zenibhabel Lodge No 15. F. A. M.; Pioneer Steam Brick Company. Special Notices—The London Assurance Cor poration; Melons, Bananas. J S. Colins A Cos. Cheap Colcmn Advertiseisents—Help Want ed: Employment Wanted; For Rent; Personal; Summer Resorts; Miscellaneous Hav, Etc.—W. D. Simians A Cos. For Acocsta and Wat Landings —Steamer Ethel. The Morning News for the Summer. Persons leaving the city for the summer can have the Morning News forwanlod by the earliest fast mails to any address at the rate of 26c. a week, $1 for a month or $2 50 for three months, cash invariably m ad vance. The address may be changed as often as desired. In directing a change care should be taken to mention the old as well as the new address. Those who desire to have their home paper promptly delivered to them while a way should leave their subscriptions at the Busi ness Office. Special attention will be given to make this summer service satisfactory and to forward papers by the. mast direct and quickest routes. It is said that Jay Gould Is badly troubled by insomnia. If he wants to sleep he should give his millions to the poor. The summer eampmeetings of the Spirit ualists have begun, and humbug stalks among the tents seeking contributions of money from the gullible. The man who plays poker thirteen hours and then stops without a cent in his pocket doesn’t need to be told that he is a mender of an ante-poverty society. The man that invented the muffler for the piano deserves gratitude, but if he wants to be canonized he should turn in and invent a muffler for the Salvation Army bass drum. Of the (10,000,000 of people in the United States it is said that less than one-third are church members. The contribution box is largely responsible for this sad state of affairs. The World has employed chemists to an alyze the food, liquids and medicines sold in Now York. The World evidently doesn’t believe that “Where ignorance is bliss 'tis folly to be wise.” The Athens Banner-Watchman says: “Since the free pass has been cut off we pre dict a short and business-like session of the Legislature. ” But the free pass has not been cut off from the Legislators. The failure of Mr. Sid Phelan's exchanga in Atlanta, and the failure of its branches in other cities, hurt quite a number of Wall street brokers. The New York Times says that some of them are very sad. Perhaps Mr. Theodore Roosevelt may dis cover that the society young men who drive stage coaches in New York ought to lie en couraged. In time of war they might be employed to drive army wagons. In Chicago it seems to be thought that there is virtue in numbers. That city has increased its Aldermen from thirty-six to forty-eight. It would be sad if the entire board should succumb to the attractions of boodle. Some of Dr. McGlynn’s friends say that his brain is affected. No doubt it is, for a perfectly sane man would hardly go as far as he has gone. It will be remembered that Father Bailies, of Brooklyn, says that the doctor is a lunatic. Senator Sherman must feel very lone some. The almost unanimous voice of press and people is that his recent bloody shirt speech marked him as being far behind the times. The Senator ought to spend a month or two trying to catch up. Some of the Morning News’ State ex changes contain a paragraph, now and then, regarding the United States Senator the General Assembly will have to elect in the course of time. What's the use of crossing a bridge until we to it# Carl Kranagcr, a German crank, thus writes to Mayor Hewitt of New York: “Twenty thousaml men will appear at the Oity Hall next week, and hang you and your whole gang to the nearest lamp post." Kranager doesn't like Mayor Hewitt’s efforts to enforce the laws. A queer story comes from Boston. It is said that some of the most aristocratic young ladies of the city have had themselves photographed in costumes as airy as those worn by ballet girls. The photographs are on sale, and an ugly scandal is the result. Boston is going ahead a little too fast. The Louisville Courier-Jnurnnl professes not to believe the scientific assertion that man is 00 per cent, water. An old gentle man who lives in the Courier-Journal\i Htate doesn’t believe it, either. “It’s non sense,” he says, "for the fellow that would drink watered whisky is hot a man.” The Mobile merchants closed their stores when the Lomax Rifles returned from the national drill, and vied with each other in doing honor to the victorious soldiers. Now they are seeking their reward. That is, they are hoping that part, of the 15,000 prize money will drop into their cash drawers. “Why,” asks a contemporary, “are the Interstate Commerce Commissioners so quiet? Are they not going to decide the questions submitted to them f” All in good time. The Commissioners know that the commencement season is at hand, and they are wisely waiting to obtain the views of The Treasury Surplus. The statement is made in the dispatches that as soon as the President returns from his fishing excursion he will have a confer ence with Mr. Carlisle and the Secretary of the Treasury on the question of the advisa bility of calling an extra session of Con gres-. Of course the main argument for an extra session is the necessity for making provision for getting rid of the surplus in the Treasury. In an interview a day or two ago the Sec retary said that he had authority to antici pate the payment of interest on bonds or to go into the market and buy bonds. He did not propose to buy bonds, he said, because if he should attempt to do anything of that kind the price of them would at once be ad vanced. although it is rwnaakably high now. It is probable, however, that he will offer to pay interest before it becomes du?. and if the bondholders will accept it about $40,<100.000 of the surplus can be got rid of in that way before the meeting of Congress in regular session. All the 3 per cents, have been called and will be paid by July 1. No other bonds will mature before 1831, and cannot be paid%e fore'that <latc unless they are purchased at the market price. If the bondholders will co-operate with the Treasury Department, and aciept interest before it is due, enough of the surplus can lie distributed to prevent disturbances in monetary affairs, and thus make an extra session of Congress unneces sary. The Secretary, however, leaves the inference to be drawn that an extra session trill be necessary unless some of the surplus can be distributed in the way he mentions. One of the reasons against an extra session is the belief that Congress would not do much until after the holidays if it were called together in October. A great many of the members would find excuses for re maining away, and others would not leave their homes until after the October elec tions. Doubtless the Secretary of the Treas ury will be able to state more definitely within a month or so what the chances of the interest being accepted in advance arc. Even if the interest is anticipated the actual surplus will be over SI2O,(XK),OJO after its payment. After Dec. 1 the accumulation in the Treasury of the currency of the country above the wants of the govern ment will be about $15,000,000 a month. It will be necessary for Congress to act promptly if it does not meet before the regular session. Chandler Bobs Up Again. Ex-Secretary of the Navy Chandler is almost forgotten in this part of the country, but he is still a very lively politician in New Hampshire. The legislature of that State is now in session, and is about to elect a United States Senator to fill the vacancy caused by the death of Senator Pike, and also for the term beginning in 18811. The Republicans have a majority of ten in the Legislature. The candidates are Gen. Marston, ex-Senator Rollins and Mr. Chan dler. The latter is the 1 calling candidate, but there are enough Republicans opposed to him to defeat him unless the action of the caucus is hold to be binding. Chandler has a record for bolting, but just now he is denouncing everylcxly who does not believe in caucus rules. There is a very interesting as well as im portant question ] ending before the Legis lature. It is whether that body can elect a Senator for the term beginning in 1883. There is no question, of course, of its, right to elect a Senator for the unexpired term, but it is contended that as there will be another Legislature elected before 1889 the present body cannot elect a Senator for the term beginning in that year. On the other hand it is claimed that as the next Legisla ture does not meet until June of 1889 there will be a vacancy in the Senatorial office of three months, and that the law of Congress, which requires that the election of a Sena tor’s successor shall be made bv Legislature chosen next before close of his term, never intended that there should be a vacancy. The question is attracting considerable at tention, not only because of its novelty but also because the outlook is that the next Legislature will be Demoeratic, and will, therefore, choose a Democrat for Senator. The importance of electing a Senator for the long term is fully realized by the Repub licans. Their majority in the United States Senate is a very narrow one, and they pro pose, if possible, not to give the Democrats a chance to -make it still narrower. The New Hampshire Supreme Court lias decided in another case that the law of Con gress does not control in a case of this kind, and that, therefore, the present Legislating h& the right not only to elect a Senator for the short but also for the long term. The Legislature has not acted on this decision yet, but it is probable tnat it will be guided by it in the present case. The Democrats are gaining ground rapidly in New Hampshire and other New England States, and it may be accepted as certain that the Republicans are not going to lose the Senatorship if the}- can help it. They would rather usurp power than to see the control of the Unites! States Senate pass to the Democrats. If there is any fine scheming to be done Chandler can be depended ui>on to do it. Gen. Sheridan says that the late national drill was a blessing. In his report to Con gress he will recommend that an annual national drill be held in Washington at the expense of the government. Ho thinks such drills would be a powerful agent in stimu lating the citizen soldiers in every State to maintain a perfect organization and thus to be ready to serve State or country in time of need. Another army officer thinks that bringing together the militia from all parts of the country once a year would do much toward breaking down sectional prejudices. A cable dispatch to the New York World announces that the German authorities have added a now machine to their military equipment. It is a combination of steam engine, electrical machine, and huge re flector. It can run over any kind of ground. It will be used for the purpose of projecting n strong light in front of important works so as to guard against surprise. In the meantime, the French authorities are trying to increase their supply of carrier pigeons. The two nations will have each other by the throat sooner or later. In announcing Mrs. Brown Potter’s pro posed roapicarnnce upon the London stage, the English papers say: “We are to have some more Brown Pottery.” The wit of the English jiapers is peculiar unto itself, and it is well that it is so. If there were any like it elsewhere in the world there would be just that much more misery. The police will not allow dtizen**of Phila delphia to be on tiie streets after midnight. This is a reform in the interest of Philadel phia wives. They no longer find It neces sary to sit up all night waiting for their Uuobasids to return from the lodges. THE MORNING NEWS: THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 1887. The Neglect of Agriculture. Gov. Seay, of Alabama, appears to take a lively interest In agriculture. In a recent | interview on the subject he said that the ag ricultural districts in the South were being neglected, the cause being the great tendency of negro laborers to seek employnffmt in the cities. “The negroes," the Governor explained, “ar- flocking to the city. To be sure this is detrimental to themselves as well as to agri cultural interests. We are trying through the schools and otherwise to educate them to the fact that there is a limited place for them in the cities. They like short jobs. They will work two days at good wages and lie idle the balance of the week. They have r.ot learned the commonest rules of economy. If they have a place of shelter and a meal ahead they seem to care nothing for the morrow. I sec but one way to prevent the negroes from leaving the farm*, and that is to educate them in practical schools.” The Governor did not state the case ex actly as it is. It is true that the negroes are not as thrifty as the whites, but it is not true that they have learned nothing about economy. In every Southern State they axe improving their condition, a fact attested by the steady increase in the taxes they pay. Another evidence of improvement in their condition is the fact that in the cities not so many of them are idle as in former years. This is a flat contradiction of the Governor, but the careful observer will admit that the statement is correct. The negroes have dis covered that they must work or starve, and the result Ls that they work. There is no doubt that the farm is the best place for the negroes, and, while it is true that many oflthem have found homes in the cities, the large majority of them re main in the country. If this were not the case, the owners of the farms would com plain more frequently of the scarcity of labor. In saying, however, that the agricultural districts were being neglected the Governor made no mistake. The whites, more than the negroes, are to blame. The farmers in many instances have left the farms. The truth is. in many parts of the South, the farms are practically in the hands of the negroes. In the cities and towns of Georgia may be found many owners of farms who lease or rent their property to negroes, or who exercise only casual supervision over negroes hired to make crops. This system of farming at. long range is generally responsible for poor crops, and, what is quite as bad, for the ruin of hundreds of acres of good land. If agriculture is to receive jumper atten tion the owners of farms must live upon them and personally direct the laborers. Fanning is like any other business: it re quires the careful supervision of those en gaged in it. It is thus that it can be made to pay. as lias been demonstrated repeatedly in this State. Let farmers and the sons of farmers stay away from the cities and towns and devote themselves to their farms. There is no other way to prevent the agricultural districts from being neglected. The Race Problem. Within the last few years the race prob lem in this country has grown steadily in in terest. It is being discussed by writers of ability, both at the North and at the South, but thus far very little light ha* been thrown upon it, mainly because there is no reliable information of a general character with re gard to it. The last eensusgivesthenumber of whites and blacks, and also of Irish, Ger mans, Italians, French, etc., but it does not show the number of mulattoes. In the ab sence of facts, therefore, it is but natural that there should be a great diversity of opinion respecting the future of the negro in this country. There is to lie a national conference of colored men at Indianapolis very soon, at whfch this race problem is to be discussed. In order to afford a basis for discussion about 100 letters of inquiry were sent out from Washington lately to as many men in the Southern States, asking whether there was an increase in the number of births of mixed parentage. Half of the inquiries were sent to white men and half to black. The replies furnished no reliable informa tion. They contained only opinions. Of the white men who answered -40 per cent, expressed their belief that a mulatto would be a rare object in a few generations; 40 per cent, thought that while the number of births of black and white parentage was de creasing the number of mulattoes remained about the same, because of the preference of colored men for mulatto wives, and 20 per cent, stated frankly that they could not form a satisfactory opinion whether the two races were amalgamating or showing a more marked line of separation. The replies sent by the colored men showed the same difference of opinion. Some said that as the Southern towns grew the per centage of the mulattoes increased. The general drift of the opinions of the colored men was that the tendency of the town negroes is to grow lighter with every gene ration, and of the country negroes to remain stationary in the matter of color, A few of them expressed the opinion that the full blooded African was bound to disappear in the course of a few generations, not by reason of marriages between blacks and whites, but because of illegitimate births and the preference of blacks for lighter hued wives. In xdew of the interest that is being taken in this race problem, the next census will likely contain an enumeration of the mu lattoes distinct from that of the blacks. In that case two census enumerations will be required for a comparison, and reliable data on the race problem may not bo reasonably expected, therefore, until Somo tiino after 1900. Mr. Blaine did not attend the banquet given in Editor O'Brien’s honor in New York on Tuesday evening last. Committees called at his hotel to invite him, but word was sent that ho was out. A note was left for him, but he did not reply to it. Perhaps Mr. Blaine thought tho English, whom he is on his way to visit, would not like for him to sit at table with the Irish agitator. In Garfield county, Colorado, there are 1,100 unmarried men and only 28 umnnrriod women. Before going out there, however, women in search of husbands would do well to send a committee to examine the bonk accounts of the 1,100. The fact that there are 28 unmarried women in the neighbor hood of so many unmarried men is suspi cious. From Allwiny, N. Y., the announcement is made that the sixty young men who com jK*e the knee-breeches society of that city are thinking of making a tour of the coun try for the purpose of awakening interest In the abbreviated unmentionables move ment. the country will survive, it survival Oscar Wilde’s tour- CURRENT COMMENT. The Readiest Argument. Prom ike Sew York Star litem.) A contented and prosperous country is the readiest argument for the continuance of the Deroocra'ic party in power. With how much let*, r-aaon has it been invoked in former year ns a plea against a change from Republicanism. Yes, He Does. From Ihe .Yet r York World (Item ) “We wish to abolish poverty,” says I*r Mc- Glynn. "and. in order lo do this, it is true that we shall not Is- content vr:lh anything *-Lse than the earth." From this it appears that.umler certain circumstances, man tvants a good deal here below. Having a Hard Time. From the Hartford Time* (Dem.) The over-zealons Republican journals are hav ing a harl time in booming .Sherman in his dress of the blood}' shirt People are not hugging that garment to their bosoms. It has gone out of fashion. The people of the South want an harmonious union, and most of the Northern people agree with them. Editor O’Brien’s Good Sense. From the Washington Star ( Ind ). Mr. William O'Brien has declined to be mixed up even in name, with the communistic move ment in America, and his refusal has called down upon him a shower of vengeful denunciation. It is even charged that he is in secret collusion with the Irish landlords and that his apparent hos tility is in bad faith. It would be quite as just for him to turn upon his accusers and charge them with being in the pay of the British gov ernment to drag him ami his mission into disre- Site with the honest people of the United States e has shown his good sense in refusing to let the Irish patriot cause be made a catspaw for any scheme to give lazy men a living without work. ’ BRIGHT BITS. Don't quarrel, keep cool, be good to every body, laugh and grow fat, and you will get through the summer better than to go • a sum mer resort.—Lancaster Examiner. Teacher— Who was Alexander Selkirk? Tommy—He was a civil engineer, . Teacher—Civil engineer? Tommy—Yes, ma'am: monarch of all he sur veyed.—Sew York Sun. He was a “jewel” when she married him: six months later he was her "gem." When the matter came up in the divorce trial, two years after, she explained that g. e. m stood for “green-eyed monster."— Washington Critic. They sat within the parlor dim: I passed and heard her say to him. “I wish, dear George, that you'd behave — If not, I wish that you would shave." —Lowell Courier. “Mamma," exclaimed a precocious New York boy. "the policemen of Boston don't wear pants.” "Gracious:" exclaimed the scandalized lady, “you don't tell me," "It's a fact." persisted the boy, “they wear trousers.”— Life. A boy traveling with bis father got up in the night and walked out of the door of the sleeping car. which was going at full speed, and did not aw ake until he began turning somersaults. Then he said: “All right, pa. I'm getting right up," and was fast a deep again when the trackman found him.— Oil City Blizzard. Matter-of-fact lady (pointing to art treasure) —That's real cute! Enthusiast—Yeti', its nearly 200 years old. Matter-of-fact lady i encouragingly)—Never mind, nobody would kDow if you didn't tell, and it's real pretty all the same. Enthusiast is moved to tears.— Toxcn Topics. A missionary in Africa found a heathen tribe worshipping an Episcopal prayer-book. and was encouraged to think that his lines had fallen in pleasant places. He wanted to go home when ne learned that the heathen had adopted the book as an idol, on account of its gilded edges, after eating the missionary who owned it.— Norristown Herald. A Yot'NG Japanese, educating himself in this country and gradually acquiring the flexible language which a native begins to learn just about the time Jie dies, was invited to tea with some friends. “Is your tea all out. Mr. Jinrikosba?” inquired the hostess. The young man looked into his empty cup. analyzed the sentence and replied: “On, no; it'? all in.” —Brooklyn Eagle. Possible Ostomzh- -What does a first-class funeral cost, Mr. Leymeout; Mr. Layineout (undertaker)—Why, none of your family are dead, are they? Possible Customer—No, not yet: but the old lady has bought a kerosene stove. Johnny's got anew bicycle and my eldest daughter is keeping company with a Pittsburg dude who carries a hair-trigger pistol. It's well enough to keep abreast of the market.— Judge. “Don't you think.” observed Richelieu, "that it would be a source of improvement to have a friend who would tell us of our faults, and at the same time allow us to point out his own de fects?” “No, I don't," said Araminta, decidedly; “I speak from experience, too. for my best friend and I once tried it.' 1 "Why, what was wrong about it?” “W’eU, you see, we haven't spoken to each other for two years!’’— Detroit Free Press. Os the A vests: ; Grigsby and Chaflley meet— Grigsby—Haw, I say. don't cher know— Chaffley (promptly ►—No. Grigsby Haw. No what? Chaffley—l don't know. Grigsby (bewildered)—Haw. What don't cher know? Chaffley—What you were going to say? Grigsby (confused)—Oh, I say, don't cher know, I wasn't going to say anything, don't cher know. Chaffley—Oh! Then I forgive you. Grigsby retires to the club with a raging head ache.—Jtncri Topics. PERSONAL. P.uskik issn strong now that he is contemplat ing an extended tour. President Garrett, of the Baltimore and Ohio, will sail for Europe on June 16. Count Tolstoi, the Russian novelist, is an ex pert shoemaker aig} meads his own clothes. J. T. Trowbridoe will go to Kennebunkport, Me., for his “outing.” He is building a cottage there. Every other summer lTiillips Brooks, the great Boston preacher, takes a long vacation. This is his vacation year. “The GreaL-Cbief-Without-a-Scalp" is the title given to tfc i Prince of Wales by the Indians of the Cody band In London. The late William E. Wheeler, ex- Vice Presi dent, would hare maiTiod again, two or three years ago, hat! not his health been in such a precarfoiis condition. Dorothy Whitney, who was so thoroughly christened a short time ago, has been invited to attend a !>al) at the Naval Academy. She doesn't feel "quite up to it," however. Prince Bismarck recently drank at one gulp a quart of champagne, which had lieen poured out for him iuto a drinking cup of a former German emperor, and then called for another. Mob. Rampolla, who has just been nominated Papal Secretary of State, has never acquired any diplomatic distinction. He has lieen chiefly noted for his learning and piety and has never taken any conspicuous part in politics. Andrew Carneoie has taken the manor house aiyl shootings of Mr. C. T. C. Grant at Kilgravon, Perthshire, for four months, and will proceed there with his bride after laying the foundation stone of the Free Library at Edinburgh. Terry, a leading London tobacconist, dis graced himself on the occasion of yucen Victo ria’s recent progress in London by cutting out the Irish haip from the standard floating above his manufactory, which stands on one of the streets passed by the royal procession. Lawrence Donovan, the bridge jumper, is a young man who keeps his eyes open. Observ ing the enthusiasm which has welcomed the "Wild West" show in England, he ha* in London preimred to jump into notoriety turf wealth If possible. Of all the bridge Do|> v an seems to be the only only knows bow to trade on his notoriety. a Jumper for revenue only and he has ad miration for British gold. An interesting feature of t lie of precedence at the White House the fact that next year the youngest woman in the Cabi net circle win have first place in the line of assistants at the Presidential receptions. Miss Bayard, tlio eldest daughter of Secretary Bayard, who now presides over his household, takes precedence over the other Cabinet ladies at the right of Mrs. Cleveland. Misa Bayard is about “irs. Cleveland's age, quite tall, and a very attractive woman. Aximadveutixo upon Prof. Tyndall's recent strictures upon Mr. Gladstone and home rule, Mr. l-aliouenere says he used to think the lTo feasor rather an agreeable sort of scientific man. "Ho did not know very much, 1 believe, but be used to say It In a very pleasant way. He had healthy out-door tastes, too; mountain eering, and so on, which somewhat lifted him out of the ranks of the ordinary pedant." Now, however, even that little gilt Is off the ginger bread, and “Lnbby,” remarking that "there is not much of tho man left In Prof. Tyndall," n<lv.scs him to don a nightcap and soak his feet in hot water, A NOTED LIE. Origin or the Saying “And It Wasn’t a Good Day for Duc'is Either." From the St. Louis Globe-Democrat. In 1850, the year before the war, a party of Northern Illinois hunters hied themselves to the lakes of Minnesota for an annual duck hunt of a few weeks, making the journey to St. Paul, which was at that time but little more than a frontier village by a steamer from Dubuque, la Among the party was a chap named Truax. a powerful liar, but a jolly, good-natured fellow withal, whose predominant weakness was reaui ly excused, if not entirely overlooked by those who knew him well. Abe, that being his first name, seemed to struggle more recklessly and naturally with the truth when talking about tus prowcso’as a hunter of game than on any other subject. One day. as the steamer was plowing its way through Lake Pekin, a number of the male passengers were seated forward on the boiler deck in little knots, passing the time away in conversation. Abe was a prominent figure in one of the groups, and had already astonished himself tairlv by the whoppers he had successfully got off. when the mission of duck bunting, the mission which himself and friends were out on, w as adverted to. "I've shot a few ducks in mv time, broke in Abe. during a momentary lull in the talk. _ "How many did you ever kill in one day! queried a cross-eyed passenger from down about Burlington. "You mav not believe me. sir. lruax, "but in the fall of ‘57 I went out alone one morning about seven miles with my dog and gun and brought home 200 ducks by actual count? and it wasn’t a very good 'lay for ducks either "You did that all alone in one trip?” asked the cross-eyed man as be put down some figures on an envelope with a pencil he had cvcls;—iy taken from his vest pocket. "Yes, sir. I did." said Truax, with a tinge of ill humor to h’* tone. "Those ducks would weigh about two ana a half pounds apiece, wouldn't they?" casually remarked the Burlington man, as he kept on making characters with his pencil. "I should say they would,'' remarked the un suspecting Ate. Well, then." said the persistent querist, "you killed just 650 pounds of ducks: and if you can tell me how one man is able to lug that weight seven miles, and carry a gun at the you can do something that no other liarS the Northwest can match" . Ate reflected a minute, and with "That's a whopper, isn't it, gentlemen?" he invited the whole party into the bar to take something at his erper.se The remark. "And it wasn't a good day lo ducks, either." was used banteringlv on Truax during the remainder of the trip, and in time it became common on the Mississippi, w hence ;t spread until it became one of the proverbial Americanisms of the time. A GOOD ONE ON DEPEW. His Titled Auditors Who Had to Have Diagrams With Their Jokes. From the Kansas City Times. Apropos of English lack of humor, the follow ing good story is told by Ben Butterworth on Hon. Chauncey M. Depew. Depew was visiting London on one occasion, and was entertained at a dinner of the lords of the realm. Being called on for a speech he began by saying that he arose with much embarrass ment" before such a company for the reason that his friend (fen Horace Porter, who usually wrote for him the remarks he made on such occasions, was absent. He then went on to make the best of the situation and made what he thought was a fairly funny speech, but not a sign of appreciation was given, and he sat down feeling that he had made a failure. His feeling was verified when he heard the presiding lord express sorrow that Mr. Depew was deprived of the assistance of his friend, for they had under stood he was a capital after-dinner speaker. Two days later he met this presiding lord, who said: "O, Mr. Depew. do you know that I have come up to London expressly to say to you that I did not see the humor of your speech until the day after the dinner. I am sorry we were all so stupid, but now we all agree that it was a capi tal speech, and that we wasted our sympathy in taking your reference to your friend Porter as in earnest." "My lord," said Depew, "did you ride to Lon don on a freight train?" "No; oh. no," said the lord in a tone of sur frise. “I came on the regular passenger train, never ride on freights. " Four days later Mr. Depew was astonished to see this lord in Paris. "I have come," said the lord, "expressly to tell you that I never saw the point of your ques tion about my riding to London on a freight train until the next day; why. sir, that's a finer bit of humor than the other about your friend Porter." Mr. Depew was satisfied that to scatter humor among the English was unsatisfactory. Cautious to the Last. Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. When the census marshal reached the farm house of Macameron Oberbeister. in Conestoga county. Pa., the wary farmer met him at the door with a shot-gun, and when the marshal asked his name, one of the boys went out to the liarn and untied three dogs. They chased the marshal clear across the township, when some neighbors headed him off. and then they put him in jail to hold him for trial. "You see." said Farmer Oberheister, "we re onto those sharpers: they think we're fools because we live in the country, but we're too smart for these town swindlers. You see. in 1879 there came along a fellow who played the reaping machine commission game on me and teat me out of $300: that made me mad. Then along in 1881, a fellow from Philadelphia came out here and played the cloth game on me, and that cost $205. Then the Three Horse Clevis man came next year and he teat me out of SBO easy enough. Then the everlasting metallic paint man be played me for $l4O, and then last year the sunrise wheat fellow got into all of us for about SSO apiece, and this year the Bohemian oats crowd got about all the ready money there was in the county and took notes for the rest of it, and now this fellow he comes along and wants to know what my name is. but 1 atn tixi sharp for him. Oh. I tell you, the Con estoga county boys are onto 'em: we're too smart for these fellows." It will be apt to go hard with the census marshal, although his trial will not come off for some time, us a man has just come into the county selling State rights for the Pottsdam fertilizer, a machine that grinds up the hardest stones into the rich est and cheajiest fertilizer ever put on to the ground, and all the farmers are too busily en gaged in securing agencies for the machine to attend to court business. Do You Know Who I Am? From the San Francieco Chronicle. 1 like the fellow who in always asking, or seeming to 'ask. “Don't you know who I amt" It is human nature to he ashamed of being in significant, of being unknown. The occupation does not deprive a man of that sense of living of some importance in the world. At the same time, there is nothing a man resents an quickly as being asked. "Don't you know who I am?’’ Nobody in creation can keep hack t.lie answer, internally, if he ran keep it to himself, of “No. I don't, and I don’t care a— There was once a very Important .State official in California who thought that everybody knew him. or ought to know him. He was one day walking through a field, when a hull addressed him in an under tone and made for him with its head down and horns in a position to raise him. He was a State official, a man of dignity and political power and natural pomposity, hut he ran. He r.in surprisingly well. He ran even lietter than lie did for office, and he got to the fence first. He clambered over out of breath and dignity, and found the owner of the bull calmly contem plating the operation. you mean, sir?" asked the irate offi cial. do you mean by having an in furiated animal like that roaming over Ihe fields?” “Well, I guess the bull has some right in the field-” > "Right! Right! Do you know who I am, sir? Do you know who I am?” The farmer shook Unbend. “I, sir, I am Hen. ." “Why in thunder didn't you tell the bull?” In Medio Tutisslmua. I>et other men wrangle and strive. And struggle, and scheme, and contrive. For me ’tls disereoter, and meoter, and sweeter to sit on the fence by myself: I know that the scorn of the world At my meaningless mean will he hurled, But I have no measure, or leisure, or pleasure, to struggle for power of pelf. There are fellows whose greatest delight Is to hunt for the midst of the fight. And jostle nnd shoidder the older and holder, and knock out the timid and slim; So if I, of a peace-loving mind. To roost on the fence am inclined. Small odds If they hiss me, or kiss me, or miss me, For keeping up out of the swim. If ever I go to the war. I'll go In the medical corps. And then while they're fighting, and biting, and smiting, and shedding bad language and gore; I'll turn from the strife I abhor, Both sides of the field I'll explore. Where the wounded are creeping, and sleeping, and weeping. Sweet balm in their hurt# I will pour. IvOBEJiT J. BIWOETTX. ITEMS OF INTEREST. A SHEEP raiser in Texas is reported to have a beard five feet four inches long and twenty-one inches wide in the broadest part. It is of a rich chestnut color and ,ts owner is very proud of it. Some tkickstzr inserted the letter S into a bill pending in the Illinois Legislature. If the trick had not teen discovered it would have keen illegal to sell "spools'' on race tracks in that State. Less than twenty-five yenrs ago the capital stock of the Standard Oil Company was $25,000: now it is over $150,000,000, and has a cash divi dend of $25,000,000 to pay out every year, to say nothing of big sinking funds held in reserve. A Puts Indian near Camp Harney. Ore. came very near paying a visit to the happy hunting grounds recently. He painted his gums a dark green and his teeth a deep red. and the paint poisoned him. A rugged constitution saved him. There is a- an down the slough seven or eight miles from Prairie, Me., who lives a very secluded life. He has a little house built in the forks of a tree, and he permits nobody to in trude upon his privacy. Several parties have conversed with him at a distance. He is armed with a rifle and a Revolver. No one knows his name or from whence he came. "Pogonip” is said to be the name given by mountaineers of Nevada to a sort of frozen fog that appears sometimes in winter, even on the clearest and brightest of days. In an instant the air is filled with floating needles of ice. To breathe the pogonip is death to the lungs. When it comes the people rush to cover. The Indians dread it as much as the whites. It appears to be claused by the sudden freezing in the air of the moisture which collects about the summits of the high pieaks. HEnry C. Wall.of Company F, First Virginia Regiment, went to the national encampment at Washington a private. He is now a corporal. His promotion was the result of an unfortunate incident. While he was on guard duty some soldiers from the Rhode Island regiment tried to pass the lines. Wall ordered them back and thev insulted him. Thereupon he stabbed two of them and thev were taken to the hospital. The Colonel of the Rhode Island regiment sus tained the action of Wall, who was subse quently promoted for his devotion to duty. Two young English ladies living at Dresden recently went to Berlin on a visit, and, wishing to make the most of their time, wrote to the Chancellor, expressing their fervent wish to see him. whereupon they received an invitation to his palace, where they were most kindly re ceived. A servant took them through the pal ace. and showed them everything of interest, with which they were, of course, greatly de lighted. their jov culminating when Prince Bis marck himself suddenly appeared and addressed them most kindly in fluent English, walking with them for some time in the garden before biddiug them farewell. Many strange scenes have been witnessed by the keepers of Highland lighthouse, C'ajie Cod, and ghastly relics of shipwrecks have teen found along the shore. The log-book tells of the loss of many a good ship: sometimes it is writ ten "all lost'': next some have lived to tell the tale, and next come the cheerful words, "all saved." Of the ten acres originally purchased about seven remain, a sure proof of the ravages of old ocean. The cliffs at this point are of a heavy clay soil, and wear away very slowly. Beach grass has caught in along the foot of the cliffs in places, and has done more than all the money spent by the government to prevent the cliffs from washing away. Therx is a great boom in cathedral building these days, but of all the builders it appears that the Episcopal Bishop of Albany, N. Y., shows the most zeal. It is related on excellent authority that one of his right reverence's parishioners, who happens to be pleasuring abroad, shipped him a consignment of French bonnets from Paris to be sold in the interest of truth and the Albany cathedral. The bishop has interested himself personally in putting them on the market, and Inasmuch as they are high crowned affairs, very suitable for a church with a dash of ritualism to it he has not found it difficult to sell them. His amiable consort sells lawn mowers in the same good cause. Prof. Thomas, of Little Bock, has a curious library-. The covers of the books are of wood, each a different specimen. The visitor picks up a book. He finds that it is a solid bit of wood in the shape of a handy volume The books are made from white oak, red oak, black oak, chest nut, American teach, birch, red cedar, yellow pine, pitch pine, willow, poplar, cypress, "old field," or long-leaved pine, Dois <v arc. black walnut, hickory (several varieties), white and red maple, box elder, black locust, sumac, water locust, coffee bean, wild plum, holly-, basswood, pa paw, bay. umbrella, wild cherry, sweet gum. elm (several varieties) sycamore", witch-hazel, butternut, pecan, hickory, and twenty or more other woods. Says a Mexican mine owner: “We usually have trusty men who act as detectives and work around in the mine picking up information. It) this way we discover many- strange devices to smuggle out the mineral. One day a detective came to me and said when such and such men come out examine their sandals. I had that done. On the bottoms of the sandals was what appeared to be mud. but when it was scraped into a pan and worked I found that it ran at the rate of $-3,000 to the ton. My miners had plas tered a thin layer of mud from the mine over the leather and then sprinkled on the particles of silver, and over all had put another layer of mud. They were working tor 37L£c. a day. and carrying out 50c. worth of silver on the sole of each sandal" An East Indian nobleman became enamored of a professional beauty at Simia. and when leaving he gave her an invitation to pay a visit to his Calcutta residence. She accepted with pleasure, and he informed her that as soon es the house was readv for the reception of his numerous visitors b would send her a telegram fixing the date of her visit. About a month elapsed when the gentleman sent a telegram to the lady, saying: "Come as soon as posable." He received the following reply the same eve: - iug: “My terms are 300 rupees a month and all found.” He was naturally much astonished, hut decided to take the bull by the horns. wired tack: "All right, come at once." I e drove to the station and met not the beauty, bt t a midwife of the same name. One hundked and four of the 149 members of the graduating class of Yale College tell, in the 'B7 Class Book, what their college expenses hat e been. Of these, fifty-five have kept expense ac counts. and ton have preserved partial records of their expenditures. The remainder have nrv sumably estimated as nearly as possible ttar expenses. On the basis of those answers, the average expense of freshman year was 5834 98, of sophomore year $931 91. and the junior year 8939 82. Inasmuch as the figuresare necessarily compiled tafore the end of the senior year, an element of estimate enters into all senior ex penses. One hundred and eleven men line given a careful estimate of their expenses enr senior year, of w hieh the average is 5948 28. The highest price paid by anv one for r-gular board by the week was $9, while five have paid SB, and one man claims to have boarded a week on the total outlay of 12c. When Senator Ben. Wade was a circuit judge in Ohio, one of his decisions was reversed by the Supreme Court of the State, and the case came back to him on mandate. He disregarded the mandate and followed his first decision. "But, your honor,” exclaimed the beaten counsel, "the Supreme Court reversed vnur former judg ment !" "Yes. so I have heard.” was the reply. "I will give them a chance to get right," The decision was again reviewed, this time with Judge Wade’s written opinion, and the court de cided that he was right. A bill of costs hail been before him for three terms, and had been dis cuased at inordinate length. As he was about closing the third term, the attorney in the case reminded him that the matter had not been dis posed of. “What is the amount in dispute?” asked Judge Wade. “Nine dollars and cents." "I pay the blanked thing myself," said lie, throwing n $lO bill to the clerk. "Enter the costs satisfied.” Gen. Hamilton, of South Carolina, narrated the following interesting account of the commence ment of the Revolutionary struggle; “When," said he, "John Hancock and Samuel and John Adams determined to resist the oppression of the mother country, they sent Josiah Qnincy, Jr., to South Carolina to obtuin the suppirt of that cavalier colony, the very- pet of the British crown, to stand by them in the coming struggle. The first person on whom Mr. Quincy called was Thomas Lynch, Sr., who, with a princely for tune, hail staked everything from the jump in the glorious contest. Mr. Quincy, coming by land from Boston, drove up to Mr. Lynch's resi dence on the South Santee river, now called Peach Tree. After communicating his mesrage, which met with the warm concurrence of Mr Lynch, he and Mr. Quincy started for Charles ton, ami in the house of Miles Burton, then an an opulent and patriotic merchant, whose wealth greatly depended on peace with England, met John Rutledge, Christopher Gadsden and other South Carolina pat riots Then nnd there wa* concocted the great scheme of colonial re sistance which was afterward uttered in the war shout at Bunker Hill, and rees-hoed in the thunders from the Palmetto fort at Charleston on June 28 folio whig.” BAKING-POWDER. SUSA : f SPECIAL jAKIKg [S |’"flavors* 1 I MOST PERFECT MADE I"sed by the United States Government Endot sed by the beads of the Great Universities and Public Food Analwts as The Strongest Purest,and most Healthf nl. Dr. Price's the only Baking Powder that does not contain Am moaii Lime or Alum. Dr. Price's Extracts, Ytnilla! Lemon, Orange, Rose, etc., flavor delicionelv PRICE BAKING POWDER COMPANY) DRV GOODS. ill ii Mourning Goods! Crohan & Dooner,* SUCCESSORS TO B. F. McKenna & Cos., 137 Broughton Street, We have just received another invoice of Priestley's Celebrated Mourning Goods in ALBATROSS CLOTHS, NUN’S VEILINGS, CLARIETTE CLOTHS, CONVENT SUITINGS, BATIST CLOTH. RAVIANNA CLOTH, FEAR WEIGHT SETTINGS. NUN'S VEILINGS in Silk and Wool and All Wool, suitable for Veils, from $1 to $3 per yard. BLACK CASHMERES, in Blue and Jet Blacks, from SOe. to $1 50 per yard. COURTAULD'S ENGLISH CRAPES AND CRAPE VEILS. Misses’ Black Hose. In Misses' BLACK COTTON HOSE we are offering excellent values at 25c., 35c., 40c. and 50c. a pair; all sizes. A full line of MISSES' BLACK BRILLUNT LISLE HOSE from 25c. to $1 a pair. LADIES' BLACK COTTON AND BRILLIANT LISLE THREAD HOSE, all sizes, from Sc. to $1 a pair. Ladies’ Black Silk Hose, In Plaited and Spun Silk, from $1 to $2 75 a pair LADIES' BLACK LISLE THREAD GLOVES. LADIES' BLACK SILK JERSEY GLOVES, 6 and 8 Buttons. Ladies’ Mourning Handkerchiefs In Plain, Fancy and Embroidered Borders from 10c. to 75c. each. All new patterns. Mourning Parasols. We are no vr showing a full line of 24 inch MOURNING PARASOLS, in TwiUed and Puri tan Silks, Ebony Handles, in the latest styles, from $2 25 to $4 50 each. Also, a choice aasortment of SILK LINEB MOURNING PARASOLS, in Plain Crape and Tape Fringe Trimmings. These have to be seen to be appreciated. MAlllill MEDICAL. M's Pills tfiinnlates the torpid liver. •ns the digestive organs, regulates in vowels., and are unequaled as an ANTI-BILIOUS MEDICINE. in malarial districts their virtues or i\ ilcl> recoguiied. a* they powics* iiliar properties in freeing tneiyMM from that poison. Elearantlgr siigu routed. Dose Ninall* Pric 25cto. Sold Everywhere. Office, 44 Murray St., New "iorj PENNYROYAL PILLS. CH ICH ESTER'S ENGLISH.' 1 The Original and Only Genuine. Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthier Imitations. Indispensable to LADlfc*. „-A*x your Druggist for “Chichester's English ta l take no other, or inclose 4c. (stamp: to u* tor particulars in Utter by return mall. ’A'lo PAPER. Chichester Chemical < 2313 Madison Square, Plillsds, Pa- Hold by Druggists everywhere. Ask for "* Chester’s English” Pennyroyal Pills. las* no other. m crass uui tne lest to the .:es of that civs* of remedies, end hsr gives mBP] to 4 days -dB almon uoi.cral annsc- BfrSi^MURPHYBRO^ Cfcasle&l Cos. amon*; the leading Mew* mciocmneu.ajp Im/tH. „ vMt Ohio. PndforO* Pi Sold by Dmjvitli. Trade supplied by LIPPMAN BROS. _ ftj R 9 U.rd u>-4t rfnlirty bj 10.004 A _' ufl Women. Ot T *aA*TitD .'uraio r° au. ‘ on Cam • fun did. pM*t JSSSr i4 W obthlvm KnafavM. TRY THIS RRMRDY | ▼ou will no’4 no othp. ABSOLUTELY INFA rarUculari, in led. 4 ’*•;. __ p k WILCOX SPECIFIC CO., PhiUdelpata. I'or sale by LIITM.YS BROS • Savannah, b* mMood restored. £ imprudence c*u nc Premature Decay, Nervous Debility, I/* Manhood, etc., having tried in vain every kn>J*‘ remedy, liasdlscoveredasinipleself-citre,*it he will send FREE to his follow sufferers. An dress C. J. MAHON, Post Office Box 8179, be* York City. _ PLUMBER. _ l. a. McCarthy, Successor to Chas. E. Wakefield, PLUMBER, GAS and STEAM FIT® 48 Barnard street, SAVANNAH, UA. Telephone 37a.