Newspaper Page Text
6
WOMAN’S WORLD.
boms things of interest to
THE FAIR SAX.
Bow Good Looks Are Preserved—Tbe
Latest Wrinkles in Fashion—Dinner
Gowns With Crinoline Several
Other Top ca touched Cpon.
Recently a writer for the Nsw Orleans
ft'eoyun* interviewed five literary women,
■one of them distinguished for their good
looks, on a subject of vita! importance.
Each woman, in her own peculiar line,
has a national reputation, and could afford
to answer truly the question put to her.
The question was this:
"Which would you rather be—smart or
beautiful r
Said No. 1: "Beautiful—because by the
mere lifting of the eyes a I eautiful woman
can order all the world to her feet.”
Said No. 2: "Beautiful—because beauty’s
mantle is larger than charity’s. It covers
Social gaucberies, ignorance aud any
amount of stupidity.”
Said No. 4; “Beautiful—because fame,
fortune, adulation, lovely gifts, social
prominence, all come to the woman who is
fair of face.”
Said No. 5: “Beautiful. Beauty is gold
to a woman. A smart woman’s fame may
not come to her until she is dead, but beauty
gets its tribute now, even laureled heads
turn away from the smart woman to do
reverence to the one who ie beautiful.”
In a shop the other day an elegantly
dressed woman at the lace counter in a New
York store suddenly exclaimed to the clerk
serving her: “ITvs l ist my purse. Where
(hall 1 inquire lor it?” He told her, and she
thanked him, adding, "There are only a
few dollars in it, but the purse is a gift l am
sorry to iose.” And it whs noticed by a by
stander , as she completed her purchase, that
the value footed up close upon |4u, which
incident is cited to show bow to-day’s shop
ping differs from that of tba very recent
past. A few years ago, to spend a morn
ing al Shis occupation, meant a purse
full of enough cash to meet every
purchase. Charge customers were
confined to the comparatively
faw people of large means, and the C. O. D.
method of doing business was rarely taken
advantage of. Now a woman starts oqt to
dp $10(1 worth of shopping with car fare
and luncheon money only in her pocket
book. If the te on the books of a firm, as is
quite likely, for small buyers now keep
bUlfcruaning much more than formerly,
the goods are charged, and if not thsy are
sent up, C. O. D., at such time as the desig
nates. If she has beau tempted to a larger
purchase than she has money in the bouse
to meet, or than the thinks her husband
may tie provided with at night, she delays
its delivery one or two days, or a week,
perhaps, to secure the neoestary sum.
- The only thiog really the matter with this
country, eeye Clara Belie lu the New Or
leans Timet-IMmocrat, is tbat we have uo
oecarioi.s, socially or otherwise, where we
oan wear court trains. To come to ibis de
pressing deaUion a woman bas only to go
and see tbe new play, “Aristocracy," in one
scene of wLicb three Amerioan women have
jnst returned from a presentation to Queen
Victoria. They wear the prescribed court
dresses with lung trams. O, tbe glory of
those gowns! The glory of having yards
and yards of stuff a trailing and a-troUiog
away after you! Aud he it noted tbat tbe
regal chief actress does not become the
gown a bit better tban doe* tbe perky
aoubrette. Tbe trams ere quite apart from
the gowns themselves. The gown il made
With just a graceful short sweep, a
sort of demi-train. The "oourt” part is a
regular curtain tbat falls from Che waist or
between tbe shoulders, straight away and
unattached, to miles and miles off. incident
ally it is oi heaviest stuff, whether to match
or com L ine with the rest of tbe dress. It is
heavily lined with silk or satin. It seems
to lie on the floor au inch or so thick, uot to
speak of tbe folds. At the far, far end It
seems every bit as wide as a portiere. Bat
whether it narrows to tbe waist or shoul
der*. or whether It is just gathered in, or
whether it is cut with biases and “fanned”
who knows, but tbe one who makes the
wonderful things? As to their manage
ment, well, of course, part of the rehearsal
eras'to get the minds of those trains well
known to the other actors concerned, and
probably all tbe men at least can
be fairly sure where those yards
and yards are going to disport them
selves, and can, therefore, make love and
walk around and aoross the rooms aud all
that with that air of perfect indifference to
tbe dresses, which before you think of the
rehearsing fills vour soul with re*: eot for
tbe London aristocracy, whether thev are
real nioe, moral people or not. The women
all make their entrances carrying their
trains themselves. This is a good idea, be
cause the audience tias to sort of get used to
them, and certainly a woman looks more
stately with all that weight of graceful
drapery on her arm. During tb* soone
they just carelessly [don't you believe It]
drop the other ends of themselves, and thsy
go off trailing lovely, just as if
thsy knew tbeir cues as well as any
body. It is tbe stately actress who
at the close of a most dignified scene
with the wicked prince again places her
train on her arm, and tbsreby we see how it
is doue, and give up tbe idea that it has to
be done by the "dresser” and the author
*nd the manager, off th* scenes. Mbe stoops
with a sweeping, backward motion, ditches
the train at arms’ length, gives a quick,
easy turn to the wrist, and someh-.w or
other has a double reef of it on her arm, and
after all you don't. know any mora about
how it was done thsra you did before. Ail
yon are sure of is tbat if yon hod been do
ing it a wild end of the business would prob
ably have escaped you, swamped tbe
prince from sight, and accompanied you
from the soene like a cyclone on wheels.
In one of the smaller cities of New York
last summer, s-.js the New York Times, a
woman, whose windows commanded a view
of an alley In the violnity, noticed that day
after day, morning and afternoon, a nurse
with her charge in a baby carriage would
Hop there. It was the half-way point on a
styaet railroad line, and here caine every
day with the isms' regularity a stable boy
with relays of horses for the use of the oar
drivers. The nurse would draw the carriage
Just inside the alley, aud there, with her
hand on it as If about to move, would stand
two and three - hours gossiping with the
stable boy, who was evidently an admirer.
Tbe-ailey was none too clean and the horses
drew swarms of flies pit was hot- and -cle-e
besides. Often the baby trcttecrlnd cried,
but the ,nurse only joatlnd the carriage aud
flirted on. Finally, on the third or fourth
day the woman resolved to interfere. She
put on her bonnet, and casually approach
ing the plaoe, was apparently attraoted by
the baby's prettines*. She stopped and
spoke to it and then pleasantly asked whose
child it was. The nurse, who was a good
natured looking girl, evidently not con
scious of any speoial wrong-doing, told at
once, and, at the risk of being considered
officious, a note that night went to baby's
mamma. It was most gratefully acknowl
edged! and had evidently been thankfully
received. The mother wrote that she saw
her meld depart morning and afternoon for,
as she supposed, a email private park in the
immediate neighborhood. She had not the
slightest suspicion that she did not go and
remain there, aud was horrified to hiid out
where she did go. The result was the
nurse’s discharge aud au increase in the
mother’s watchfulness.
The Incident reoeives au added signifi
cance in the sad occurrence reported in the
New V ork papers last week of a nurse tak
ing her little charge on a visit to some
Irirods, of Injuqr bolug freely indulged lu,
M l Anally, In the general e; ree, of the
baby being thrown from the window and
killed. K.erua! vigilance is indeed the only
safety with Irresponsible nursemaid*, end
must of ibtuu should, on general principles,
be held irrseiMHuthie until proved trusty
ever and over again.
An Englishwoman lately visiting in Ntw
York said to one of her American acquaint
ances as she appeared at her home one
morning alone: "There i* something posi
tively exhilarating to me in the sense of
personal freedom which 1 fee! hare m New
York. lam over 40 years old aDd I have
never before in my life walked out unat
tended. Asa child or growing girl, my
nurse or governess was with me, then my
maid, aud afterward my husband. My
fneuds at home would raise their eyebrows
and wonder n hat had come over me if they
could see me rushing about the streets here
quite by myself. When we see estrange
woman in Loudon doing that we say : *O,
she's a foreigner,’ and think no more of it,
but if one of my set should do it 1 presume
I should think It very odd. But I enjoy it
immo..sely over here, though I suppose once
I’m n London again I shall drop back into
my English conventionality. I wish I
hadn’t to.”
The young Duke and Dnohess d’Ayen,
says the New York Irtbu ne, have realized
the dream of all lovers—to spend a honey
moon in perfect tete-a-tete, without being
disturtad by the unwelcome spectators who
generally torment spooning newly-married
couples by their indiscreet and Idle curios
ity; tor they are n w on board their yacht
floating about on the calm blue waters of
the Mediterranean. This yacht is a large
and stately craft, and the duke caused It to
be completely furnsibed anew for the occa
sion. Nothing can give au ide iof the lux
urious daintiness with which this has been
dons. The sal on and “rooms” are of un
usual dimensions and are provided with
every modern comfort. The sleeping apart
ment of the duchess Is entirely draped,
wells, ceiling and ail, with heavy old ruse
Turkish silk, on wbloh are embroidered
flights of sea birds in silver, and sprays of
of fantastic-looking flowers in gold and
crystal. The saloon is decorated similarly,
but here the draperies arc of a light sha
green, and are covered with clusters of
hand-painted aquatic flowers, such as gladi
olus, iriiss, lilies and feathery reeds. These
paintings are the work of an artist of great
talent, and produce a marvelous effect on
tbe faint, dull background. The corners
are filled by groups of flowering plants, and
the divans and arin-cbalrs arc covers 1 with
pale green velvet. The dining room is on
deck and so is tbe duke’s study, furnished In
carved pear wood and unique Flemish tapes
tries. Burely it would be difficult to imagine
a more delightful retreat for two young
aud handsome people very much in love
with each other, aud wbo intend to wander
al out for a few weeks at their owu sweet
will under tbe southern skies, away from all
tife noise and turmoil of this world.
The spirited rivalry between Mrs. Lynu
Linton and Lady Florence Dixie as to
which shall psint the future woman in the
darkest tints still continues, says tbe New
York World. Lady Florenoe has mods a
sensation by her latest article, in which she
claims tbat there is only one way now in
which poor, downtrodden women can assert
herseif. She must disguise herself in men's
clothing I "Patriot mothers” are urged to
"train up thoir girls" witb this solutlou of
the problem in view. Lady Florenoe re
grets that she cannot set the example, aa
her two children are boys, but she "point*
with pride” to the (set tbat tbe greet work
has been begun. She knows a woman who
is captain of a tbip, "her eex being un
known to her employers,” and she Is well
acquainted witb "two disguised women
pilots who carry on their calling with skill.”
She is rather vague as to dated, but very
hopeful aa to the results of her agitation
and the ability of women to appreciate a
good thing when they bear it.
One of those fellows who never know a
chance when they have got one took a young
lady sieigbing, says Clara Belle iii the New
York Press. She kept saving that she was
cold. They had a long way to ride vet.
Of oourse, if he had uot loved the girl he
would hnve taken It as an excuse to put bis
arm about her, feeling tbat she meant it
that way. But be loved this girl, and be
would never lower ter even in his thought
by supposing her capable of any such trick
as that. You see, he loved her, and he was
awfully worried about her being cold. Ho
thought and thought. He knew bow gener
ous and noble her nature was, but he made
up his miud to do it. He slipped off his
overcoat—slipped it off, mind you—aud
wrapped it arouud her. After it was off he
said, ' ‘1 have very heavy things under, and
I don’t really need it.”
And she ? Well, the burst into tears, and
■aid she hoped he hadn’t, and that she hoped
he would catch pneumonia and die. He,
big goose, didn’t know what had happened
to her, or to him. That’s the way with
men.
A curious ruse de guerre which is said to
nave been actually perpetrated in the fash
ionable world not long sinoe was a case of
bogus mourning, says tbe New York
Tribune. It Is recorded that a certain
business men found it suddenly necessary
to curtail bis very large family expenses,
and at tbe same time be was particularly
nuxious, for financial reasons, that there
should te no appearance of retrenchment.
Unfortunately, it so happened that bin
wife had just issued invitations for a large
and expensive call to be followed by a se
ries of dinners: moreover, she bud a younger
daughter to bring out. The head of tbe
h> use groaned in spirit as be mentally cal
culated tbe oost of a winter's round of
gayety tor his -womankind. Hie wife,
however, was a woman of resource; on
being made acquainted witb his dilemma
sh* promptly rose to the occasion. "I tell
yon what wo will do,” she exclaimed; "we
will go Into mourning.” “Into what!”
gasped her astonished husband. “Mourn
ing, 1 said,’’ continued bis spouse com
placently. "I think it is tbe only thing vre
can do; as my people are western we can
easily manage it, and no one will be the
wiser. I will seud out cards and counter
mand my Invitations. T will buv a black
gown, and the girls shall wear black and
white all winter and go only to me smallest
entertainments, aud I daresay they will
have a much better time than whan strug
gling for partners at the big balls. As for
me, I shall enjoy it bayond everything.
Now, after all, it is only a fib that harm*
nobody aud does us a lot of good," con
cluded this fin-ds-siecle dame, wbo ancosS'<>
fully carried her point, put her family into
mourning, and withdrew gracefully from
society and its requirements for the time
being.
During the past twenty years 328,000 di
vorces have been granted by the oourts of
the United States, 90 per cent, of them to
wonieD, says Jenness-Miller's Magiuine.
While this total is large enough to appear
to give good grounds for the assertion that
the perpetuity of the family is threatened,
it dwindle* wheu brought into comparison
with the number of marriages during the
same period. One-twentieth of the total is
1ti,490, tbe number granted eaoh year, only
about 1 per cent, of the number of mar
riages. There is nothing in tbe world that
human beings undertake to da tbat can
show so small a percentage of total failures
ns marriages. Though statistics are not at
hand to prove it, there Is doubt if divorce*
much exceed golden weddings in number.
They certainly do not exceed silver wed
diugx Investigation of tbe subject of im
proper marriages would seem to offer more
hope of results tnelicial to sooiety tbau
examination of the divorce statistic*.
The girl wbo allows herself to be cajoled
into a long engagement standi about one
chance in tan of beiug married to that par
ticular man, says Leisure Hours. He
comet, admires and thinks best to secure
her, although he is not in a position to ask.
Home men nre selfish creature*. After a
year in the "seventh heaven" life begins to
be prosaic again, and their love floats along
a placid sea. After several years of wait
ing, when tbe girl has begun to lose her
youth and beauty, the tide turns lu their
favor, the harbor nln sight ai:d ail seem*
well. But here comes a smooth-sailing
little ci aft directly aerus* their bows. Thsre
is a crash. The lover clings to the newly
found ship and leaves the other to sink or
is tossed upon the beach alone. The moral
1* obvious.
Who has net heard tb* old saying.
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, .JANUARY 15, 1893-TWELVE PAGES.
"Beauty is only skin deep,” and bow many
eff rts have been mads to impress on tbe
minds of children that ’.be appearance
amounted to very little so that tbe conduct
was ail right, says tbe New York Ledger.
And what a stupid practice this is. to be
sure!
Asa child grows up it learns that tba ao
pearanceof a thing is of the greateet Im
portance. Falling to learn this it makes a
failure of life, whether it Is farm produce,
dry goods furnishings or fine arts matters
little: if tbe appearance it not right the un
dertaking is almost certain to laok success.
When bumaotty fully comprehends that the
looks of things are of the greatest Impor
tance in every walk of life, one of the prob
lems of existence will be in a fair way to
solution.
Tbe farmer doe* not consider an un
gainly, ill-sbaped or deformed animal
worth raising, and always tases oare that
the increase in his flocks is as beautiful,
symmetrical ad healthful as possible, else
be is no farmer, but tbe merest bungler.
Fanciers often take eare of weaklings, but
it is a judicious care, and every appliance
commended by experience or indorsed by
scientific research, is adopted to secure that
perfection In form and style that gives the
production a commercial value, but when
itoomesto humanity this sort of thing is
rarely thought of. Every child should be
taught that personal appeal ance is of great
importance, and tbatpe.soual perfection is
second only to a healthy moral and intel
lectual development. Indeed it Is held as a
theory by many persons that perfeot mental
attributes are coexistent only with physioal
perfection.
“My dearest girl, I have simply preserved
what good looks the Ixjrd gave me, as every
member of my tax should who prizes youth
and beruty above eating, drinking, and
laziness,” said tbe hostess to the New York
Hun, prinking out her wide green velvet
sleeves and watching the play of the fire
light on her tea gown of daffodil yellow.
“Hut how on earth do you mauage it I"
queried the uretty pasae listener. "Here
you are turning 40, and not a man at din
ner last night would have given you a day
over 28 years of age."
“Self-discipline aud capacity for taking
pains,” was tbe reply; * 'absolutely the only
reliable weapons for fighting wrinkles and
old age.”
"Go Into details, please,” and a distinct
note of envy sounded In the visitor's voioe.
"With pleasure,” returned her hostess.
"You remember me at 18 ns a slim girl,
with round pink cheeks, softeyesand la.rly
nice features. I was warned to make tbe
most of my beautedediable, for my friends
sweetly assured ins that it would fade, anu
quickly. The thought of becoming endow
aud shriveled, or red and coarse, was mad
ness. 1 promptly resolved to battle for my
beauty and outwit time it possible. Just
tbeu I went to France, aud by tbe roe, est
accident fell upon a rtally wonderful old
book, it pretended to reveal secrets known
to Nison de l'Enclcs, Diane de Poitiers
Recamier and other famous court belles
who cherished their youthful loveliness long
past their prime. Mixed in with a lot of
nousense were some wise and excellent sug
gestions. By adaption and experiments I
have worked out a code that, if faltbfullv
obttrued, will keep any woman fresh and
fair until aha reaches 50 at least.”
“Tail me, dear, do you think 1 am too
late in beginning?” inquired the young
woman anxiously.
“Not if your digestion Is good," returned
her friend. “My French mauual set me to
studviug my stomach from a scientific
standpoint, and from that dav to this I
have never eaten a sweetmeat, tasted a
drop of wine, or let ice water pass iny lip*.
Linen sheets, candies aud hot baths 1 avoid
like the pestilence. 1 eat tbe simplest food,
ej9i oise enormously, and have discovered
the preservative properties of grease. Like
all things really worth having, one pays a
heavy price to bold youth beyond tbe
allotted time. If you think my red lips,
high oolor. and smooth axin are easily come
by you are mistaken. To this day it re
quires the severest self-control to pass a
dish of bonbons, and it, it were no* for inv
inordinate vanity I would buy five pound's
of fancy caxe and try to devour it all
at a sitting. As it Is, my breakfast,
always eaten in bod, consists of
weak ten. a soft egg, and thin, very dry
toast. At luncheon I take plenty of cold
meat, afresh salad, one or two vegetables
and some simple pudding. Consequently
iny digestion is never out of order, my com
plexion ie invariably clear aud rosy, and I
sleep eight hours out of the twenty-four in
dreamless repose. Before retiring at night
I plunge my feet and legs up to the knees m
oold water, to draw tbe blood from my
head and keep the extremities warm. Then
I am thoroughly kneaded from head to foot
in massage fasbieu, Tba greasing process
follows, for 1 use pounds and pounds of
lubricating ointment in the course of a year,
i think giyoerine and all new-fangled
emollients impart e yellowish tiuge and
leathery quality to the skin. The only ab
solutely safe unguent is old-fashioned
mutton suet, refined end slightly per
fumed. This should be applied from
neck to heels with the band and gently
rubbed in so as not to etiok or shine, but
leave a soft, sating surface. Under tbe
knees and arms an extra quantity is re
quired; aiau on the joints, such aa eibowi
aud ankles, to preveut tbe least stiffness
and keep tbe body supple. I always sleep
between blankets that absorbevery particle
of moisture the body throws out, and next
morning, after a tepid bath, when meal in
place of soap Is used, and brisk rub down
with a crash towel, my akin is at pink and
white as an infant's.
“There is nothing mors, I think, except
to insist upon honebaok rioing; at least a
3-mile walk evary day; dauomg whenever
you can get it, and not less than two bo irt
spent in the open air. Bleep in a cold room,
with ample ooverlng. Never eat after an
8 o’olock dinner, avoid cosmetios, and re
member my advice about sugar plums.”
Any one who doesn’t believe the crinoline
Is imminent might spend a pleasant half
hour in the study of anew dinner gown re
cently imported and be stimulated in his
reflections by remembering that inside the
cne gown is a wired ruffle gathered to the
last degree of fulness, sevs the Now York
Hun. The greatly desired flare of other
gowns is secured by a teeing of buckram
and a petticoat with three full flounoes, one
put on exactly above tbe other, and each in
a different color. The lower half
ef the petticoat is gathered in
a Spanish flounce to tbe upper part,
which in -reases the flare. Besides, tbe
skirts are so shapod aa to give the peculiar
stand-out straight look now coveted. In
stead of the dinging droop of last season’s
grace. The back of tbe gown gives a bat
ter idea of the great width of the skirt as il
lustrated in tbe modified 1837 dinner gown
of rloh eau de Xil satin, which baa a round
skirt with five graduated rows of double
ruche areophane end a low-hotfldered 1830
bodice with a scarf waistband fastened be
hind with sash effect. An old fashioned
bertha of satin edged with laoe and riohly
trimmed with spangles and beads falls over
the full sleeves, which are encircled with
ninny bands of tbe ruebing and meet the
gloves at the elbow.
TREES ON THE STREETS.
They Need Pruning Occasionally, and
It Should be Done Skillfully.
From Garden and Forest.
Street trees eometimes need pruning. If,
however, they have lieen originally well
selected a small knife will be all that is
necessary for a few years to remove an oc
casional branch that starts out in tbe wrong
piaoo. There it rarely any necessity for
cutting off a large limb. If this necessity
ever does corns tbe limb should be cut off
dose to tbe trnnk end the place smoothed
over and painted, sc that tbe wound will be
ultimately covered with healthy bark.
We have often explained that wherever a
stub is left this must inevitably die, and as
tba trunk grows about it tbsre will be a
plug of rotted wood where tbe branch
originally grew, and the disease will eat in*
ward and downward at tha water soaks in
from without. After street trees have at
tained mature else pruning is rerely needed
bevond the oooatlaaal cutting away of a
dead branoh or the removal of eits whist)
interfere* with another.
MRS. MACGREGOR’S
RED GOWN.
From the Chicago Newt Record.
A sense of duty impels me, otherwise I
should shrink from this task, for it it a deli
cate and painful one. To begin with, I call
tbe gods to witness that I myself am to an
infinitesimal degree only responsible for the
train of niortl Actions and regrets involved
by that little sin of feminine vanity where*
with all the trouble began. To be more ex
plicit, 1 will say at once, and I speak tba
solemn truth, that I never liked that gown:
I bated it from the very moment when first
it shrieked at me. I use that word a-lvisedly.
Mrs. Macgregor’s gown was of that shade
of red whfish shrieks. For you must know
that Mrs. Macgregor’* husband was,
as yoq might suspect, of Scotch de
scent, and be had au instinotive, congenial
passion for that particular aud shrieking
shade of red which obtained to a surprising
degree in tbe trade-mark plaid of tbe high
land elan bearing the proa-1 name of Mac
gregor. It was in deference to her hus
band’s absurd, yt otherwise appropriate
passion, that Mrs Macgregor tias pur
chased that gown. And Macgregor was de
lighted witb ir. Its shrieks were, in bis
prejudiced Hootoh ear*, sweeter than the
tuoee of tbe tuneful bagpipes. They were,
1 fancy, more grateful to bis sodden high
land soul than the uuldar persuasive influ
ences of flu nan haddie or of Atboi brose.
Yet I bated that red gown. Yes, at the
very beginning I intuitively recognized
and regarded it as a thing of evil.
Mrs. Macgregor is my wife’s sister, and a
sweeter lady never walk# 1 In leather, ex
cepting, of course, my wife herself, who, in
spite of her very few but disastrous frail
ties, is unquestionably the most beautiful
aud the most amiable creature in all tbe
world. The. Macgregor* live near us; we
see one another constantly. This is a great
convenience. Macgregor abounds in Scotch
thrift. It is an inestimable boon to have
a brotber-in-law bandy when one ie con
strained to borrow money to answer sudden
and imperative demands.
lAst summer Mrs. Turner wrote my wife
a charming letter iuviting us to pay her a
visit. Mrs. Turner has a lovely summer
house ut Calm Lake. If you have ever
visited tha delightful Wisconsin iaxe region
you surely do not have to be told of the ex
traordinary beauties of Calm Lake, nor do
I have to assure you that the Turners have
for themselves and for their frieuds the
most delightful retreat in all that delight
ful country. Of oqurse Mrs. Thimble and
I were overjoyed by the prospect of a
sojourn in this lovely spot. We accepted
Mrs. Turner’s invitation with a despatch
aud an enthusiasm which must have made
even Mrs. Turner'* gracious hospitality
quake with astonithinent.
lamlu no sense a man of the world. My
life has been spent in meditation and in the
pursuit of the literature of education. My
“History of Hei.iia.vh County,” my "First
Book for Amateur Astronomers” and my
essay upon “The Essential principle* of
Vulgar Fructifies” have enrolled my name
—I say It in all modesty—in the proud
roster of my country’s benefactors. lam
of a calm, contemplative nature; I love
trauquillity, shun tbe excitement and vani
ties of society lifet I recall now witb a
painful blush how upon a time I made my
appearance at * church sociab'e wearing
my ear muil< —the result of mental abstrao
tion. for just then I was deep in work upon
a logarithm Involved by the conjunction of
Aldeharan and,fbe > thor oye of Taurus.
Ho T was surprised and annoyed when
Mrs.,Thimble, having accepted Mrs. Turn
er's invi ation.. suggested to me that her
wardrobe was hardly extensive enough to
admit of her making a suocee-ful appear
ance at a fashionable watering place. It had
never occurred tojjlo that Calm Lake was
that kind of plac*: neither bad it occurred
to me that Mrj, ”£blmWa’F wardrobe was
not 61 tensive. I re.-afied taut nr the seven
spaotous closets in qur house I was not per
mitted to use one; and so had to stew away
my linen and other traps in the lower draw
ers of a Tiureqn. I remembered very dis
tinctly the pearl-gray dinner gown and tbe
brown silk and the English walking dress —
and -and—but why enumerate? I was
wholly satisfied with lire. Tuimble’S ward
robe. aud it seemed to me that if the hus
band were satisfied, surely tbe wife
ought not to complain. But Mrs. Thimble
thuught otherwise, and when we referred
the matter to Mrs. Macgregor that
worthy lady agreed with Mrs. Thimble.
Accordingly it was determined to
have Miss Kelcey ourne in at once and
make up a trousseau. You understand
from this that Miss Kelcey is a dressmaker
and hers the troubles begin. It befell just at
tbat time—and it was just our luck—that
Miss Kelcey': aunt, old Mrs. Bigmore, had
to up and die, aud,. in consequence of this
untimely heap .Mis* Kelcey had to send word
that she could’ht oome to do the work my
wife aud Mrs. ilnegregor had mapped out. Of
oourse this caused great vexation and con
fusion. Mrs. Thimble dissolved into tears,
and it began to look as if we would have to
abandon our visit to Mrs. Turner; for, al
though I was certain, knowing our com
paratively humble chreu instances, nobody
at Bairn Lake would expect us to flaunt out
like figures or Chinese josses. Mrs. Thim
ble insisted that if we looked dowdy we
should be hopelessly irretrievably ruined?
In the midst of tni* heart-breaking agony
a sort of compromise oeourred to Mrs.
Thi ruble. It was-to the effect that her sis
ter lend her that red gown of hers—that
very red gown to whioh 1 had instinctively
t iken so Hied antipathy. And right here
tbe plot deepens and thickens. 1 iiave talked
with several learned Presbyterian tvoolo
gians about it. and they confirm ray theory
that Satan engineers the trouble from the
beginning. To begin witb, Satan created
that red gown; then he put it within Mrs.
Thimble’s o imprehension; then he artfully
imbued Mrs. Thimble with a yearning for
and hankering after that gown; then he
weakened the sterner qualities of my nature
until I became in a measure parlibeps crira
iDis oe yielding my permission to the bor
rowing of that fatal raiment— jobs, Batan is
responsible for it ail, so I wart/ everybody
against the insidious artifices Of that d'iabol
loal old tyrant.
To make short of a long and harrowing
experience, the red gown was duly trans
ferred temporarily to the uses of inv wife.
The pearl gray dinner gOwn was rehabili
tated and the brown silk anil the Uuglisb
walking dress were fixed np in some sort of
fashion—ppon my. word! know nothing of
this kind of llu/nmerv—but it was taoitly
understood tbat Mrs, Maogregor’s gown,
the red gown, was to fie the pieoe de resist
ance. Moreover, I was solemnly informed
—nay, 1 Whs vehemently enjoined—that 1
was to set aa invloledbii seal upon my Tpe
and unon my counMnanoe and upon uiy ac
tions, lest 1 shoulctf betray lu one way or
another the awful ieoretthat Mrs. Thimble
was wearing raimrmt that belonged to an
other. I made ovary promise; but. mind
you, not until 1 'sad expostulated long aud
eloquently. My conscience clamored against
this outrage. The still small voice within
kept warning use that this duplicity would
surely load b lurrow. But, bless your soull
when it names to argument with one's wife
—particularly when that wife is the
most adorable creature upon earth—elo
quence and reason and oonsotenoe are
fragile, fuci.e things.
The first three days at Calm Lake were
halcyon days indeed. The Turners were
'imply '/harming -so cordial, so lufermal,
so hospitable, so gracious. We had boating
and fishing and tenuis galore; of evenings
there rras music to refresh tbe senses. and
tbe neighbors had a pleasant way of
drop//iog in after dinner sod contributing
to trie general rairtafulness Yes, those
w er ideal days; 1 look back upon them
wvui fundoes*. Upon the fourth day came
au a vful change. Intuitively 1 knew there
w* trouble tirewing, far Wheu I arose that
morning qy <orn*uoh*d. Moreover, Batura
•fas then at nertbeiina and to was Mars.
Mrs. TMrabie oonfldad to me that it van
Mr. Turner’s birthday, and tbet tbe deer
fellow bad a surprise in store for him in
tbe shape of a birthday dinner wbteb Mrs.
Turner had surreptitiously planned. • ‘And
One Dozen Bottles of
aw. THE CENUINE
(IS JOHANN HOFF’S
/Mlalt Extract
Vl 4 *) JL=* E <? UALS
In Kutritiv*
and TONIG
FT/I Propertlas on
potiANNHo? f I\ *1 Cask of ALE V
llfv without being
Intoxicating.
It exalts the energies, stimulates the
nutritive powers, improves the appetite
and aids digestion. It can be used for
man, woman or ohild.
Matchless as a tonic in convalescences
Purchasers are warned against imposi
tion and disappointment. Insist upon the
“ Genuine," which must have the signature of
-JOHANN HOFF ” on the neck label.
now,” said Mrs. Thimble, "I shall wear tbe
red gown.”
From tbat dinner the mischief spread and
deepened and waxed aud ramified. Mr*.
Thimble looked more teau iful than ever
before. Tbe shrieking, sinful red net off to
amazing advantage tue sweet spirituality of
her face aud tbe girlishness of her figure.
She was—l say it with regret, she was the
oynosure of all eyes. Other ears might
bare been deaf, but mine heard what tbat
diabolical red raiment kept shrieking:
“Borrowed! Borrowed! Borrowed!” That
was what it shrieked, and my misery was
complete. To emphasize the horror of the
complication, Mrs. Turner guilelessly and
cordially oomplimented my wife upon her
appearance. “What, a lovely toiler you
have this evening,” said she; “It is very be
coming; yon should wear it often.”
lam a man if quiet (disposition and of
tranquil methods; as the author of juvenile
text books and ss an elacldator of
lugarytbm* I have never mastered the style
necessary to convey tu the render even a
suggestion of the ' ariety and intensity of
my emotions when I overheard this remark
which Mrs. Turner, In ail innooenoe passed.
Let my silenoe now stand as au eternal
monument to the magnitude of my ina
bility.
We came home next day. I held my
peace. Mrs. Thimble was extravagant in
her rhapsodies over Calm Lake and tbe
Turners and everything thereunto pertain
ing. "Deluded woman,” thought I; “enjoy
your triumph while you can. A dreadful
awakening Is in store for you!” Meanwhile
the gown—tbe odious rad gown—went back
to the keeping of its lawful owner.
They went to the theater about a month
later; yes, 1 remember, it was In October—
tbe 19th: 1 was watching tbe stars tbat
night, for tbe Rerieto bod commissioned me
to prepare a critical paper up iu tbe ap
parent congestion of meteoric matter la
Bignia of the constellation Andromeda. Bo
I did not go to the theater, and the party
wasn.adeiip of the Macgragors, ray wife
and our oldest c .ild. It was a happy party
going but a sad party coming back. It
seems that in the very next box to theirs nt
the theater sat the Turners! Tbat wouldn’t
have been bad at all if Mrs. Macgregor
badn 6 worn the red go n, her red gown,
tbat night. But she did wear it, and of
course the Turners saw it—of cou *e they
saw it, (or that red gowu was of all gowns
cne gown to be seen if not heard. O, it
was terrible!
The Macgregor. and tke Thimbles now
found the :iselves harassed by tr.ese sev
eral and distinct propositions:
1. Mr. Macgregor was outraged lest tbe
Turners should think tbet his wife was wear
ing borrowed finery. '
Macgregor is a proud and sensitive roan.
2. Mrs. Thimb e waa distressed iest tbe
Turners should disoover tbe imposition she
practiced upon them last summer.
3. Mrs. Macgregor was fearful that
society would unjustly condemn her hus
band tor letting her borrow her sister's
clothes.
4. 1 was mortiffed lest my part In tba
crime should be magnified unpuly.
We bad numerous council* of war. I
heartily wished that confounded red gown
at tbe bottom of the sea, but it was not
mine, and I canlil not do with it as I pleased.
That confounded red gown had cost
‘ ‘muokle,’' a* Macgregor said, and it had to
be worn out. If we had bought it of tba
Macgregor* the trouble would not be reme
died, for tbe Turners would think queerly
of the Maagregors. No; tbe red gown bad
come to slay. It loomed up like a f .rtress
in our pathway to happiness. Meanwhile
Batan chuckled in demoniac glee. A* for
myself,l have been, O! so very miserable. I
have never been a particularly proud man;
neither niv nature nor my profession has
served So promote a spirit of pride within
me. Yet here I And myself neglecting the
volume on insectiverou* articulations
which I have agreed to have ready for the
printer in Marob, and am haunted by feel
ings of resentment day and night, simply
because I am uuwilling tbat folks should
think ine so brutal a husband as to compel
Mrs. Thimble to get her ol jtbee from tbs
neighbors!
Meanwhile the complication gete all the
more tangled up. The Macgregor* are be
ing luviteb out a great deal, and, as luok
insists upon having it, the Turners are
everywhere, too—at parties, receptions,
balls, dinners, theaters—yea, though Ade
laide Luoy Macgregor were to take the
wings of the morning aod fly to tbe utter
most parts of the earth, lo! tha Turners
would be there, too, providing Adelaide
Luoy Macgregor wee wearing that fateful,
oiui nous red gown.
On one occasion Mrs. Turner, deceived
by that abominable gown, has addressed
Mr*. Macgregor as Mrs. T”imble, only to be
acquainted of her mistake by a haughty
answer and a freezing, withering glance.
Macgregor, naturally proud and sen
sitive, has fallen into a kind of monomania
that distresses us ail sorely. It is his fancy
that wherever he g;>es people are pointing
the Anger of scorn at him and are taunting
him with cry: " There goes the husband of
the woman who wears her sister’s red
gown!” Macgregor’. magnificent Caledonian
physique is sure to break under this strain;
it L only a question of time.
Mrs. Tblmblt has given up society alto
gether; if you did not see her at the bazar
last month or at Bwarthout’s dinn*r last
Thursday or at the Witherspoon's recep
tion last Tuesday, it was because remorse
over that abominable red gown bfs immured
her a sorrowing prisoner withlft tbe walls of
our blighted home.
As for myself, I am, as I have already
confessed, fast approaching the hopeless
condition of a total wreck. Only an hour
ago I made op my mind to take a manly,
heroic stand against Batan, who, I repeat, is
at the bottom of all tble mlechief. I was
seeking to follow the intricacies and con
volutions of Pettit’s logarithm 39, and was
about to prove the cube of the hypotenuse
of an isosceles triangle squared by the par
allax, when suddenly a realization of my
shame as an abettor of the fraud attempted
by that everlasting red gown entered aud
fißsd my mind to the utter exclusion of
every pure ami holy thought. Then, goad'd
by this hideous wraith, I arose and orled
aloud: "I will endure this no longer. Like
Luther of old, I will hurl my inkstand at
tbe foul fiend tbet bas dsvised and wrought
all this wretchedness! I will make a full
and explicit oonfeeei in of the truth, and I
wilt send it to the Turners in order that
they, and If needs be all tbe world, shall
know bow penitent i am.
When the Macgregor* oome over to-night
I shall read them hat I bars written.
Than, if Mrs. Iblmble and tbsy approve
what I have said, this contention shall be
slgDed in tbe manuer of a round-robin, for
truly ne have ail sinned alike and our peu-
Iteaoe should be expressed in a common ut
terance I fear that, at tbe last moment,
Mrs. Thimble, wbo is os proud as she is
beautiful, will demur, and in that avent I
sbaii tell bar that what I have written is
not so raueh a confession of as a warning
against tbe sinful, blighting sweets of a bor
rowed red gown. Lt uan* tfimuu.
DRT GOOD*.
No other house in Savannah doeg, can or will gire auch
sterling values for the money as
POYE & MORRISON.
firat January Clearance Sals
PRIOR TO
ANNUAL INVENTORY.
M:e: fatm : la: Prills: of: ail: filler: Gnat
Ms, Mils and Dress his
At About Half Price.
All Winter G-oods must go. We have got to sell— cost
or value will cut no figure.
o
Closing out Ladies’ Cloaks at manufacturers’ cost.
Closing out Children’s Cloaks and Reefer Jackets at actual cost
Closing out Blankets, Comforts and Flannels at one-third off
former prices.
Closing out Black and Colored Dress Goods at one-third off
former prices.
Ladies’, Children’s and Men’s Flannel Underwear reduced to
bare cost. .
Children's All-Wool Hosiery reduced to half price.
Kid Gloves —Our entire stock reduced to half price.
SPECIAL.
100 dozen Ladies’ Kid Gloves—Blacks, Tans, Grays and
Browns, 5 and 7-hook, all of Foster, Paul & Co.’s celebrated
makes, such as Dresden and others slightly imperfect; some
misfits, etc., sold regularly at $1 25, $l5O and $1 75 a pair
your choice, as long as they last, at 49 cents—a great bargain!
FOYE & MORRISON.
c
I'll Bronglitoii Street.
Special sale this week of
EVENING GOODS.
141 BROUGHTON STREET.
FURNITCRB AND CARPETS.
WHEN YOU BUY
Buy Something Pood.
The people of Savannah are
respectfully invited to call
and see our line of
Parlor Suites, Bedroom Suites, Tables, Side
boards, Cabinets, Chairs, Etc.
You will find that we
have the finest line in
this city in
CARPETS OF ALL KINDS.
When in need of anything in
FURNITURE AND CARPETS
GO TO
EMIL A. SCHWARZ.
TOBACCO AND LIQUORS.
Send Us Your Jug Orders
L I QUO R 8.
We solicit family trade for KINL CASK WINES. Shipment of TOKAT and BBKRRT
WINES juat received.
DRYFUB & RICH,
161 Congress St., Savannah, Ga.
JtEDICAU '
jrWSu. cmoHcrttr § Eroush, Rio Crow pk Dnoono tn/mo
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