Newspaper Page Text
12
WOMAN S WORLD.
A Few Things oi Interest to the Fair
Sex.
Gossipy Stories in Which Much
Amusement May be Found Mrs.
Dart's Particular Field of Labor The
Arrival in a House That Has Been
Closed all Summer The Worry of
Women Over Small Affairs Harem
Life in Turkey Other Matters That
Are Worth Knowing.
Tho arrival home at a house, says the
New York Herald, which has been shut
up unservanted all summer long. or,
worse still, has had Jack or Tom as its
sole occupant, is one of the most depress
ing thing’s which the woman of to-day ex
periences.
There come times in the lives of all
women, even the most strong-minded,
when, barred from the masculine prerog
ative of profanity, they weep.
Even Dr. Mary Walker, it is said, ab
sent-mindedly tries to put her trousers
on over her head some mornings and
bursts into tears.
But a house which has been occupied
by an unattended man during the season
is a sight to make the angels weep, not to
speak of a woman who has been enter
taining a piazza full of other women all
summer talking about the delights of her
city residence as compared with the "in
conveniences of high-priced summer ho
tels.” A varied collection of boots and
shoes ornament the drawingroom rug;
cigar ashes and newspapers are scattered
about on onyx tables and chairs, and the
remains of hastily arranged midnight
lunches and empty bottles decorate the
dining room.
All the beds in the house have been
alternately occupied, but none are made
up. Disorder reigns and dust is every
where. Women who can meet all sorts
of Important crises in life become limp
and helpless in the face of such scenes as
"this, and many destroy all the good effects
Of the summer sojourn by an amount of
fuss, flurry and overexertion which wears
upon strength and patience and defeats
the attainment of the desired order and
cleanliness.
“Flirting Is Prohibited,” reads a curi
ous sign which has just been erected at
the entrance of Northwood cemetery,
Haines street, Germantown, says the
Philadelphia Record. The sign has a
mission, for, curiously enough, the city of
the dead is used as a picnic ground. The
young people especially make it a camp
ing ground, and have, no doubt, acted
with too much freedom, which caused the
posting of the warning. But flirting
continues, and no one seems to check tho
young people.
1 do not tliink you ought to let your
sweetheart kiss you whenever he wishes,
says a writer in the Lillies' Home Jour
nal. A niss from you should mean so
much that 41 should be an event; and then
he will be certain that nobody else is
getting his treasures, and that you are
hoarding great expressions of affection
for the time when you shall be his very
own.
Mrs. Heaton Dart, says the New York
Sun. enjoys the distinction—and a rare
one it is nowadays—of being almost the
only woman in her particular field of
labor. And yet withal, Mrs. Dart is an
unassumimr person. She gives herself no
airs. She does not act the Pharisee
toward the women who do not possess
her knowledge. No, she doesn’t look
down on them at all.
It may be that one reason for this mod
est attitude is that not one of the millions
of women who don't know how to do
what Mrs. Heaton Dart does envies her
her knowledge. For the fact is Mrs.
Dart is an embalmer. She and her niece
are the only women in New York state
who are professional embalmers, and
there seems to be no disposition to rob
them of their laurels.
Mrs. Dart lives in a pretty flat near
Central Park. She has an attractive face,
distinguished by a peculiarly strong
tnotth. An observer would at once put
her down as a woman of intelligence and
refinement, a womanly woman, and a
plucky woman, but without the almost
brutal indifference which often asserts
Itself in men who become familiar with
trying experiences. Mrs. Dart looks as if
she could make a success of almost any
thing. That does not lessen one's curios
ity as to why she chose to make a success
of embalming. But she is quite ready to
give the reason.
"Seven years ago,” says this woman of
the gruesome profession, “1 was living in
Scranton, Pa., when a sister-in-law of
mine died. 1 needn’t tell you the whole
story, but will say that the experience we
then had with an embalmer, so called,
was so terrible that my brother asked me
to learn the business myself, simply to be
able to take care of our own family. I
was a widow and needed some occupation,
so 1 took a course at the college of em
balming. and became so enthusiastic over
the work that 1 came to New York, and
have practiced the profession for five
years.
"I met with the most violent opposition
from tne undertakers. There were ten
thousand of them in their association*
and they put every possible obstruction
in my way. Why! Oh, they said that
they had men whom they paid regularly,
and jf I came in to attend to special cases
these men had to sit around idle. You
see, any one would rather have a woman
or child embalmed by a woman than by a
man. I have often been asked by fami
lies for whom 1 have worked to embalm
the body of a man. I always refused,
because if I say that only women em
balmers should care for the bodies of
women i must be consistent, and see that
the works both ways.
"The undertakers make it hard for rne
in another way, too. They give me the
very worst cases: suicides and people
who have been burned to death or have
died of contagious diseases. 1 have had
n any a strange experience, but, for ail
that, I love my work.”
Mrs. Dart got out her ins trument
which she carries in a harmless-looking
music roll, and gave details of her profes
sional work. She talks of the forty
funerals a month, following the forty em
balmings of which she has charge. There,
again, her feminine tart and taste are
highly appreciated. There are fashions
even in funeral robes, and it takes a
woman properly to adjust a big sleeve or
to loop the draperies with violets, this lat
ter being quite a fashionable funeral fad.
The demands for Mrs. Dart’s service have
become so numerous that she has trained
her niece to be her assistant, and the two
people are very fond of the profession
they have so strangely chosen.
Wofhen worry too much over the small
affairs of lifeand wear them-elves out over
such matters as r.ndarned holes in the
table linen, tarnished silver and un
washed iceboxes, says the New York
Herald. Of course, lam talking of the
great middle class of women who ’look
after their own servants and households
and attend to the marketmen, butchers,
grocers and bakers, who help to form the
lorinidable array of daily cares which are
inseparable from housekeeping. Unfor
tunately, in nine cases out of ton, lack of
system is the principal stumbling block in
the way of good housekeeping and perfect
service.
1 he woman who conducts her house on a
system which servants and tradesmen are
made to understand will find her lot i*urh
easier, and will b>- able to cun vers, intel
ligently on some subject besid, sthat ever
lasting bugbear, the management of ser
van Is
Days and hours arranged for certain
household duties and Kepi strictly to will
simplify housekeeping, ami insure the
respect of servants, however ignorant or
sttipid they may seem. The yrc.it fault
with servants is that mistresses begin
wrong w ith them and then lav their own
short comings at the door of the cook,
laundress or •chambermaid
It is possible to train the most seem
ingly impossible ease of servantgirlism to
a state of absolute perfection, and this is
always done by the women who are not
hollow eyed ami worn out through their
struggles with the kitchenmaid.
1 once heard a woman say. says a writer
in Harper s Bazar, that she would as soon
think of leaving her room in the morning
before putting on her dress as before put
ting on her face ■ When one stops to re
fleet on th.’ dejected, acrid, or glum coun
tenances that confront one at breakfast
tables, does it not seem a thousand pities
that more women are not alive to the
positive indecency of appearing at the
breakfast board in what may be called
facial dishabille? Hardly any one but
considers her morning toilet complete
when she has done with tub and dumb
bells, "fixed” her hair, and put on her
dress; yet she should never venture be
yond the threshold of her bedroom until
she has coaxed a smooth and smiling re
flection into her looking glass.
To do this, regardless of tho mood that
may possess us. we must first, to use a
Delsartean term, “devitalize'’ the face;
that is. east out the unlovely expression
in possession by encouraging a sensation
of droop throughout the features, so that
cheeks, lips. chin, and lids ma,v sag heav
ily. while the mind is. as far as possible,
a blank. After “sozzhng” in this state of
relaxation for a few minutes, let us sum
mon up a pleasing mental picture and then
allow a little smile, rippling over the face
from opening eyes and parting lips, to
gradually bring the features into place
and expression. If one is afflicted with
obstinate facial dejection or asperity this
operation should be repeated several
times. 1 have known it to work in most
unpromising eases.
it is a lamentable fact that attractive
coloring and a satiny texture of the skin
mean infinitely more to the ordinary
run of women than do the stories their
faces are weaving from “moods and ten
ses" and thought habits. And how short
sighted this preference is! These poor
women completely’ forget that as the
years go bv the facial architecture alone
will remain intact—that the tints must
somewhat fade. The face is a fair tem
ple, of which we are the builders. I
think Emerson said this in a prettier
and better phrase.
“It is quite fatal to appear stupid and
uninterested when you are out in. society,
you know,” said the pretty girl to a
writer in the Now York Tribune, “and I
have discovered a capital recipe against
looking dull, which 1 will give to you
gratis. At Mrs. A.’s, the other day, I
found myself at a big luncheon with a lot
of older peoplo present; and on taking
our places at the table I was dismayed to
find that one of my neighbors was an
elderly w oman and a total stranger, w
turned her shoulder to me during a greater
part of the repast, and the other was
Milly B——, who is a dear girl, but has
not an idea in her head. After the first
few minutes had passed in total silence, a
br’ght idea struck me. ‘Milly,’ I said
suddenly,’let’s count; we will look just
as if we were talking, and it’s ever so
much easier. When I leave off you be
gin. And I began in my most vivacious
manner. ‘One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven’—then 1 paused, and Milly, show
ing her little wmite teeth with bona tide
merriment, went on ‘Eight, nine, ten,
eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fif
teen,’ and we both ended with a burst of
genuine laughter.
“ ‘What a good time those girls are
having!’. I heard our vis-a-vis saying to
her neighbor rather enviously I thought.
‘X wonder what they are talking about.’ ”
A woman much in Paris, says: “The
fashion so prevalent in New York at din
ners of leaving almost at once after ris
ing from the table is not in vogue here.
No grosser insult to one’s host and hostess
could be made than to eat and run.
You would tie taken for a savage. When
you dine out. unless you have some extra
ordinary excuse, you are expected to
spend the evening. Coffee and liquours
are served in the drawing room to the
women, and are then taken up to
the smoking room for the men.
The men smoke from half to three-quar
ters of an hour, aud then rejoin the wo
men. Large dinners are generally fol
lowed by a small reception of guests, who
are invited at 10 for a cup of tea."
A certain modest young woman, says
the New York Times, who is employed as
clerk and stenographer by a New York
attorney, proved herself equal to an
emergency which suddenly presented it
self on a day last month. The lawyer
was absent in Brooklyn, in attendance
upon court there. When the hour set
for his return came and passed tiis clerk
decided that he must be unavoidably de
tained, and almost at once reached a sec
ond decision in consequence. There was
a motion in a case in which her employer
was an attorney pending in the supreme
court, and its hearing before Judge Law
rence was set down for that morning.
The motion must be on at the moment,
she thought, and, seizing the papers, she
hurried over to the court room, reaching
it just as the case was called. Almost
breathless, she stood uo, obtained a bear
ing and stated her case. The judge lis
tened, smiled and grantinl tin l motion in
her favor, and the sensible girl walked
out of court, followed oy a craning of
necks among the lawyers to catch a
glimpse of her.
Society women, says the New York
World, are thy only class of wcak-c.ved
people who take proper care of their
faces. They save tlieir eyes. If they are
too vain to wear glasses they don't try to
read under trying circumstances. In
public places the fashionables make little
use of opera-glasses and no use of libret
tos, programmes, catalogues anil prayer
books. You will never catch the society
beauty burning holes in her eyes to study
a stage artist. It frequently happens,
too. that she will return from an opera or
a play and not know the name of any one
in the cast but the star. Women of this
class who save themselves are never with
out fans and parasols. These confec
tions and protections are carried
summer and winter in and out of doors,
and raised whenever there is a trying
light to face. Paraselenes are made to
order. Those for interiors—theatres, art
callerles and concert-halls—are not much
longer than a tea-plate; carriage paraso
lcttes are about twelve inches iu diame
ter. Then there are hand screens made
of bolting cloth, sewing silk, gauze, etc.,
mounted on ivory wood and kept on li
brary, toilet and centre tables to shield
the eyes from gas to tire light. But the
staple articles is a fan, and women who
know its real value, aside from the de
corative, eat, sleep, read and live with it
in hand. It is this sort of protection for
the eyes that retards the accumulation of
wrinkles and preserves the sight. The
early adoption and continuous use of
broad-brimmed hats for weaked-e.ved
girls is a timely preventive of untimely
crow’s toes and wrinkles.
“What do you think Tom has done
now!” exclaimed Mrs. S., looking up
from her voluminous correspondence
which had engrossed her attention for
several minutes at the breakfast table.
The scene, says the New York Tribune,
was laid in the dining-room of a luxurious
Newport villa, where the hostess aud her
THE MORNING N KM'S: SI Nl>.\Y SEPTEMBER 17, I*o3.
guests were idling over a late breakfast
and dis -usslng th<- various bits of gossip
suggested In their letters.
The "Tom" in question was Mrs S 'a
nephew, a clever young man of ample
neatis. but of erratic proclivities, who,
finding the beaten paths of Mayfield too
tame for his energetic spirit, was ■■ontin
tialiy trying strange experiments. He
had been a cowboy. Artie explorer. Afri
can traveler: he hud livvd in the tents of
the Arab* and (of the North American
Indians, and had oined bands of Mexi
: can desperadoes and Italian brig
f ands. With a turn for |H>litie9,
he was at one time a socialist,
and at another a Fenian—always a radi
cal. So no wonder, when Mrs. S. pro
pounded her query, every other subject
was dropped, and numerous were the
conjectures hazarded until she gratified
her guest's curiosity. "Married his
1 cook?' Lost his fortune?” "Turned
priest?" "Started a newsna|>er4” Any
thing and everything was suggested.
"No, you are wrong.” said their host
ess. producing her letter. "My sister
writes me in great distress that Tom has
actually left home without a cent in his
[locket to see how long it will take him to
work his way around the world. And
what is more, lie will do it," she added,
conclusively.
This seems an incredible freak, but it is
an actual fact. It is six months since
Mr. left home, and his friends are
expecting news of him daily.
In a recent lecture on “Turkey,” Mr
Oscar F. Straus, ex Minister of the
United stales to that country, threw
some interesting light upon a most inter
esting phase of Turkish life—the harem,
says the New York Times. The lecturer
admitted that his knowledge came en
tirely from hearsay; he had never been
in one, and had never known a diplomat
who had. He pronounced the institution
not altogether unattractive. Turkish
women are, not secluded in the harem as
in a prison; they are absolute mistresses
of that side of the house and free to ex
ercise their rights indisputably. A Turk
ish husband would not dare to enter his
wife’s apartments when it is not her
pleasure that he should, and she has only
to place her slippers outside the
door to indicate such desire for
seclusion. In many ways the oriental
wife makes her caprices felt, and her
spouse can only submit with what grace
he may, like his occidental brother. Al
though four wives are permitted, monog
amy is the rule and polygamy the excep
tion—a condition which the lecturer ad
mitted -was due not so much to the moral
as to the economic side of the question.
The right to divorce is vested with the
husband, but toe divorcee retires with all
her property to her family and may mar
ry agaiu at once. And this right to hold
property separately from their husbands
which English and American women have
only lately acquired has been the privi
lege of the Turkish wife for a thousand
years.
The harem may not seem to us an ideal
attempt at domestic happiness, but it is
undoubtedly a vast improvement upon
the condition of things before its estab
lishment.
CUPID’S EXPENSIVE WORK.
Courtship, Marriage and Honey
moons Cost $35,000,000 Annually
in Britain.
From London Tld Bits,
Last year there were, according to the
returns of the registrar general, 226,922
marriages in England and Wales. The
returns from Scotland and Ireland bring
it up to a total of more than 27,5.000 for
the United Kingdom. .Just consider the
amount of money that must be spent in
connection wilh 275,000 marriages, and
the conclusions that follow have sug
gested anew train of thought to a
contributor. It means, in the first place,
as many courtships. What is the usual
length of a courtship? That depends
—like many other things. But,
seeking a happy medium, we
may fairly take eighteen months as an
average. Say one-half of our sweetheart
ing couples are so situated that letter
writing becomes a necessity. Say they
correspond with each other only once a
fortnight, a calculation which must be
far below the mark; put them on the
moderate allowance of no more than two
sheets of note paper, and we shall see the
dainty collection of sweet nothings
amounting in the mass to a postal reve
nue of $295,000, and a yearly stationer's
bill of SIOO,OOO. But these are
very small items to think about.
The jeweler will come in for
a heavier share of the profits. There
will be 275,0110 wedding rings at a guinea
apiece, unit engagement . rings which
we shall be well within the line in assess
ing at the same price. Then there are
the presents which the lover will natur
ally bestow upon the lady of his choice,
ranging from tho $5,000 bracelet of the
duke to the shilling brooch of the coster.
If we put them down with the rings at a
guinea in each case, and credit them to
the jeweler again, y/e shall have an ac
count 01 nearly $5,000,0(H).
Then come the railway companies.
They must surely reap a golden harvest
out of courting. With the inevitable trips
and the traveling of separated sweet
hearts to see one another, we may safely
strike an average of sls for each court
ship. which will give us a round sum of
$750,000. But ail these arc .only prelimi
naries. The greatest expenditures will
come with the wedding day. There is the
trousseau (more or less costly, according
to circumstances) for the bride, and at
least anew suit for the bridegroom. It
can be done cheaply enough, goodness
knows, when bridal dresses are to be bough
second-hand hind top hats arc obtain
able "on the hire system.” But most
folk like to "do” a wedding to the best of
their ability, and in the tipper and middle
classes, at any Tate, the tailor’s share of
the profit is a large one. Taking only the
moderate sum of $25 in each case will give
us a total of nearly $3,000,000. Then
there are wedding cakes and marriage
breakfasts. Reckon these expenses of so
cial entertainment at only $lO a head, and
we get another half a million; 275.000
wedding fees, licenses and clergyman’s
charges will amount to abovo ssoo,boj.aud
as many half crowns to pew owners
will tot up to $150,000 more, while
the livery stable man's bill, allowing only
one carriage to every wedding, will make
$300,000 more. Finishing up the honey
moon we shall find another tolerable sum
to bo added to the costs of matrimony.
Here there will surely bo diversity
enough: every stage between the favor
ites of fortune who may Hit luxuriantly
through Europe for a year and the daily
laborer whose idea of blis3 is limited to a
day off. If we accept $25 as a reasonable
average of so many honeymoons we have
a final sum of a million and a quarter to
carry on our account. Thus, without
speaking of furnishing and other prepa
rations for married life, and confining our
calculations only to the expenses of court
ship and the honeymoon, we shall be
within tho mark in saying that the an
nual marriage census ofihe United King
dom represents a total expenditure of
$35,000,000, a consideration which would
certainly indicate that marriage is by uo
mcaus a baa thing for trade.
A Live Toad in a Hailstone.
From the Providence Journal.
A hail storm visited Pawtucket about
10 o’clock Saturday evening, such as has
not visited this viucinity for years, if
within the memory of man. One woman
picked up a large hailstone and allowed
it to melt in her hand. She thought some
thing was inside tile little piece of frozen
rain, but was surprised to find when all
had melted a little live toad or frog in
lier hand There is a quite general belief
that a gffeat many pebbles canc down
wilh tjie hail.
PEN PICTURE OF PEFFER.
(nfirevbms Breeze Across 0 Parched
Desert.
How the Great Bearded Prophet of
Kansaa Gathers Chestnut* For His
Alleged Speeches and Dispenses
Them to Empty Benches-The Air
Smells of Mildewed Newspaper
Clippings When Peffer Gets Up.
Nyin Crinkle, in the New York World.
Senator Peffer of Kansas is the least
distinguished but the most incorrigible in
the unique collection of philosophers and
lawmakers who are now discussing
finance. He comes from a state that was
cradled in internecine blood and that has
not been ashamed to celebrate its ma
turity with blatherskite. Everything
that is radical goes in Kansas. It is the
great experimental tract of every ism
that will not take root in less fertile but
better cultivated soils. Senator Peffer
reminds you of the western belt of that
state, where there are still great wastes
of calm, immutable alkali, frescoed with
tangle-grass, and nature assumes an air
of dry, iniperturuale and everlasting
weariness at her own work. At first sight
of him, you think of Ahasuerus, and
wonder if he wasn't reading the musty
palimpsests to the sanhedrim in awful
continuity before obscene and interesting
history began.
fie is as unemotional as a Babylonian
brick. His humor is as arid as last year's
water-course in his own state. He is
never confused, never disconcerted. He
lpis the same mobility of temperament
that 1 have noticed in a slate quarry. I
doubt if blood would come into his face if
one of the metaphorical slaps that he re
ceives should turn out to be physical. His
circulating system is incapable of distill
ing anything but argument. -Hisvenous
and arterial apparatus carry words. He
is stuffed full of newspaper clippings—old,
dead, rustling scraps. The moment he
begins to talk you hear the sound of
turning musty and forgotten files, and
smell the sceptic aroma of old leaders and
grizzly interviews and cadaverous re
ports—God rest their souls.
W hen he has a set speech to make he
begins to get in his chestnuts the day be
fore. They are piled up on his desk; offi
cial tomes, scrapbooks, of all sizes and
shapes; newspapers, reports, novels,
travels, Benton's “Thirty Years” and
Barnum’s autobiography. He always
has plenty of. empty desks about him,
and to see him wander from one to the
other in search of a citation or a few
chapters, leaving a gap of silence while
he leisurely hunts for the particular
book, is one of those calming experi
ences that make you think that you
are in the English court of chancery.
When he begins to speak it is in tones
that remind you of Coleridge’s river,
“live miles meandering with a mazy
motion,” with no other purpose than to
reach "the caverns measureless to man.”
Something forebodingly and invincibly
interminable there is in his mere aspect;
a juiceless, inhuman perspective of Peff
er. the purpose of whom boars the same
relation to the method as the nucleus of a
comet bears to tbe tail. He squeezes out
his whiskers with . itiless deliberation,
takes a drink of water from the tumbler
without a tremor, and [daces it perilous
ly on the edge of the desk, as if to show
that it is the acme of oratory not to knock
it off.
The ability, however, to strotcli one
idea over the ages: to find all history and
literature and legislation focusing them
selves upon it; to be willing to sacrifice
the race for that idea and to glory in be
ing a continental bore for its sake, was
reserved for Peffer. if ever the unwrit
ten instinct of the Senate is apprehended
it will be found to be that Peffer is a fath
omless bore. That is no doubt compati
ble in the alkali sense with being a great
and good man. Goodness is very often
only another name for density. Peffer is
honest but superfluous, and mistaken hon
esty has caused more ennui and suicide
than violent mendacity. I think myself
that John Calvin, who was a great inau,
caused rtiore misery than Capt. Kydd,
who wasn’t. Nothing is so uneventful
and prosaic to the Kansas mind as a log
floating with the stream. But let it once
get one end stuck in the mud and the
other end bobbing. Ah, then resistance
becomes picturesque and things ffre liable
to happen 1
Mr. Puffer conscientiously believes
that it is heroic to make Kansas block
the will of the republic. Mr. Peffer does
not in his soul believe that the govern
ment can fix the intrinsic values of metal,
but he always talks us if he did. He
knows perfectly well that at this moment
there is a general consensus of opinion
among the American people that congress
has one specific duty; that all other du
ties are secondary, however urgent. But
to acquiesce inffthis demand would detract
from the conspieuousness of Peffer.
So long as lie is an obstructionist, Kan
sas has a show, and he can keep on mak
ing scrap-books. In some wa.v it is the
duty of tlie republic to protect Mr. Pef
fer s private industry. In so large a
family there is always some radical small
bov who, if he cannot help on the car of
progress, can at least throw stones at the
train.
What struck me with peculiar force
was the magnificent and reticent magna
nimity that puts up with Peffer. It not
only tolerates him; it presents his con
suming maw.\yith hours for the degluti
tion of his own hallucinations. It isn’t
necessary for anybody but the presiding
officer arid the clerks to be present when
he uncoils himself and swallows his
blanket, but he is allowed to perform the
ceremony to the desks.
In these speeches there is a trace of
animosity; it is not an emotion, it is
an intregal motion. It is like the
arsenic in a stuffed owl. Put concretely,
it is the ineradicable belief that
sin entered into the world by the way
of Wall street; that Satan is a banker:
that finance is the Mephisto of our coun
try. and Kansas is the bleeding Margue
rite; that panics are manufactured to or
der, and tiiat the President of the United
States is a co-conspirator with the
moneyed magnates of the to degrade
silver and oppress the people. All Mr.
Peffer'* oratorical roads Jead to this
Rome. His attempts to discuss finance
are doctrinaire and pragmatic; his ar
raignment of Wall street lias the earnest
ness of a sermon. He would plow and
sow Broad street with salt and plant
corn in the stock exchange on high
moral grounds. Honesty is a question of
longitude.
Being tedious, superfluous and ffalse,
we might yet put up with all this if it
were not also unbearably provincial. The
town pump sticks out of it. The indefin
able structure of it reminds you of a log
cabin enlarged to the size of Windsor
Palace. Even Jerry Simpson is not as
provincial as Peffer. for provincialism
docs not consist in tho style of nectie or
hosiery, but in the limitations of mind,
it is tlie school district outlook that be
trays a man, and the moment Peffer gets
at it an overwhelming sense of the dis
tance things have moved since Peffer be
gan to read up takes possession of you.
That it is a mistake to send such a man
to a representative bodjq with no compre
hension of the relativity of states and
tlie 00-ordination of commonwealths to a
definite and general purpose, depeuds al
together on whether it is desirable to
have the idiosyncrasies of stales arrayed
against each other or the joint interest
conserved The fact is the states are so
interlocked by commercial, social aud
moral Interests that a man who do--s not
feel in the presence ol his associates ena
tors an enlarged tense of duty and per
ceive a widened outlook - who clings ten
aciously to local prejudice and prefers to
be an attorney instead of a statesman -
becomes curiously meager and contempti
ble, and excites only forbearing wonder
Mr. Peffer.considered as a tnaa, must
he interesting, estimable, upright and
tedious; regarded as a senator, he ap
pears to be a necessary evil, like an old
garret or a barrel of sermons.
His whole demeanor is that Of invinci
ble and fathomless sagacity, unperturbed
by the impact of public opinion and un
shaken by the desire of men.
He claims to have made finance a study
for weary years. He no doubt has. The
principal result is that he would, if he
could have his way, destroy finance. He
doesn't know that this is a theoretical
nihilism. He calls it reform. It reflects
in a dry. glimmering way several of the
social and moral centers of disturbance
that have been forming in Kansas ever
since we shipped Sharp's rifles there.
It is rich in local color. We perceive in
it the sturdy nihilism of those mothers of
Israel who some years ago armed them
selves with axes and the divine creden
tials and set out to regenerate Kansas by
destroying other people’s property, while
their husbands sat on the fences and ap
plauded tho "higher law.”
Senator Peffer is the very antithesis of
Senator Stewart of Nevada. They come
from entirely different droves but exhibit
the same brand. Mr. Stewart is vascular,
impertinent, full-blooded and impulsive.
Mr. Peffer is dyspeptic, methodical, par
ticular and unsypmathetic.
One warms up under his own words
and cavorts. The other chews the end of
systematic superiority forever under a
tree. One is sensitive to interruption, al
most rude in rejoinder, with a dictorial
egotism and the dogmatism of a country
justice. The other is equable, cannot be
stung or deflected or annoyed or cur
tailed.
Mr. Stewart assaults. Mr. Peffer will
sap your life away with citations.
Both agree that Mr. Gladstone and
President Cleveland have entered into a
conspiracy to degrade silver and crush
the western producing man. They both
regard the eastern press as the subsidized
engine of disreputable bankers when they
are not denouncing it as the coutesan of
gold and monopoly. But while Mr.
Stewart froths at these Iniquities, Mr.
Peffer only quotes them against them
selves.
Give him back flies enough, and a hack
ing volubility takes the place of human
interest it recalls Coleridge’s illustra
tion of the doctrine of an infinite chain of
causes. One blind man cannot lead
another, and three blind men do not
overcome the difficulty. But given blind
men enough, infinite blindness will take
the place of sight.
Peffer's speeches remind me of one of
De Quincey’s dreams, because they defy
time. But the groat misfortune of Peffer
at this moment is not that he has a voice,
but a vote. That saves him from being
ignored entirely.
BARTENDER’S WOES.
Many Palates to Pease and Many
People Whose Fur Must Be Rubbed
the Right Way. ,
From the New York Herald.
It’s the easiest thing in the world to
grumble at the bartender, to sniff at his
pretensions to skill as a mixer, to growl
because he gets your cocktail too sweet
or your fizz to sour or bruises the mint
in your julep.
It costs you no effort at all to hold him
up and badger him for five minutes on iiis
busy day because tlie whisky in the place
where he happens to be working isn’t to
your liking. The fact that he deals out
just such poisons as are put into his hands
by the “boss” never enters your head.
You never wait till tho "boss” comes
around to register your objection with
him. You know better. You just take
it out of the “barkeep.” You have him
where you want him—in his box. lie’s
like the caged animal at the Zoo. Kvery
body may poke sticks or fun at him, and
then call him ugly if he growls.
All he can do is to walk up aud down in
his little workshop and get tired out, and
take his medicine and dole yours out to
you, listening to everybody’s chaff and
gabber, answering the same old questions,
laughing at the same old jokes, making
the same old change, going through the
same old motions day aud night, in and
out. getting grayer and m§re laconic un
til folks call him surly, and then he van
ishes aud anew sprig takes his rusty,
liquor soaked comfortable old working
shoes and walks up and down the same
old rubber matting and juggles the same
old bottles, and grows old listening to the
maudlin mirth and threadbare arguments
and inevitable grumbles of the man out
side the bar.
Your "barkeep,” I’ll lay odds, works
harder than you do, and its a pottering,
picayune kind of work. too. He swings
like a pendulum between the lofty func
tion of compounding alcoholic gems to
tempt Sybaritic palates and the far ex
treme of watching out for Hy specks on
tlie fresh glasses or a gnat in the gum
bottle.
TRIALS OF THE BI’SINESS.
I heard a bartender—a spry, neat, vell
dressetf, well educated and 'withal com
petent bartender in one of the Brooklyn
hotels—the other night talking about his
own business.
He Had closed the doors. It was 1
o’clock. The last "jaggy” customer had
ambled out to continue his task of ac
cumulation elsewhere. The man in the
white duck jacket poured out for himself
about four good healthy fingers of brandy,
lit a long cigar and plumped himself down
in a chair outside the bar like a man who
hud just sprinted a mile. He sighed long
and deeply.
“Well, I’m hanged if I don’t go and be a
stevedore, where I can get more rest and
less of everybody's jaw. This business
makes me sick. tired of the smell of
rum, first hand or second. I'd like to get
somewhere where I’d never have to set
out glasses and bottles any more.
• Now look. 1 opened this place at six
this morning and laid off froih noon till
6 o’clock, an’l'm not done yet. I’ve got
to go to work and make an inventory of
the contents of that whole bar yet, and
make out orders for what I want in the
way of replenishing for the morning.
There's only about fifty bottles tbefife to
be filled or half filled, or maybe not
touched, but I’ve got to have tab on ’em
all. Then there's the accounts of the day’s
business. H’m!
"Lord! You ought to spend just one
day behind there and see the different
kinds of games and the different kinds of
people. They’re no more alike than chalk
and cheese. Half of ’em when they call
for a thing don’t know what it is. If
their lives depended on it they couldn’t
tell corn whisky from rye, and yet they
bawl for bourbon as if they were Ken
tucky distillers. They want some spec
ial kind of gin or rum because they've
heard some other body say it was best.
They want a cocktail’made just so and so,
and don’t know when they’ve drunk it
whether it is so or not.
"There’s the man who affects absinthe
frappe because he reads about show ac
tors and clubmen drinking it for a bracer.
He doesn’t like it. He has the hardest
kind of a job keeping his face straight af
ter he swallows it.
FADS OF DRINKERS.
"Now about cocktails. I suppose there
tire twenty-five different kinds of cock
tails called for here in a morning—all
fads could be summarized in say five at
the most. But the cocktail crank is about
the crankiest of them all Then this sec
tion of the t -n is peppered with the long
drink ma. He call* for a long this or
a long that, and always wants a dash or
two of something that no sane bartender
would over think of using. The man who
diagrams bis own drinks in nine cases
out of ten combines ingredients that are
at perfect war with one another, both In
taste and effect, and lets his poor old
stomach take 1 hanees.
"But the champion worrier is the fel-
I low who looks dyspeptic and rocky, and
; his hands shake, and his voice is a little
uncertain.and he says: ‘1 say,ah, w-what
Ive think I want this morning? I feel
kind o’ so.’
“Now, a good many barkeepers are that
vain that they'll go and recommend a dose
to that man and fix it up and force it into
him, and I swear it’s a wonder more of
’em aren't fatal.
“If you recommeud a rational drink, like
plain whisky and seltzer, to one of those
wliat-do-I-neod customers all you get for
your pains is a grumble or the funny
laugh.
EARLT AND LATE DRJSKERB.
“The early morning and late at night
customers have most kicking to do. Be
fore breakfast with them is before break
fast with me, too. but they don’t seem to
know it, and they come in herewith their
katzenjammers and weak stomachs and
bad tempers and ‘beef’ and growl, and all
the time I'm mixing their eyopeners, I
have to pick my way around behind the
bar between the scrub girl and the bar
porter and the ice man and the boys who
are rubbing glasses and bottles and keep
track of all they're doing besides. It’s
enough to make a saint surly.
“Now, this morning, for example, the
very first man that came in hme after I
opened up had a head that needed two
hats. He looked as if the Asiatic cholera
had struck him. He wanted an Ollaga
walla.
“Now, I'm not up on Oilagawailas. He
might as well have called for a little hoy
blue. He began to roast me when I asked
him what he'd like to have it made of,
and told me I ought to be a book agent in
stead of a bartender. Well, I got his re
ceipt and went to mixin’ up the egg and
absinthe and lemon on Scotch whisky
apd Angostura and Maraschino and fiz
zing it with seltzer, as he told me, and ho
began to skirmish for lunch. Now, of
course, there wa'n’t any lunch up at that
hour. The milkman even hadn't been
around. Tbe lemons hadn’t been
squeezed not the bottles put in order but
he was madder than a wet hen because he
couldn’t get any sliced ham to eat with
his Ollaga walla.
“I says:—'Look here, is there anything
else you'd like to kick about? Just let me
serve this drink to you on the table out
there, where you can sit down and think
it over while I’m trying to earn my FA) a
week.’ He said he’d report me for im
pertinence, but he drank his 'Olla’ with
out any ham and took some cloves, and
told me not to be so fresh after this and
then he got.
f BARROOM BORES.
“I tell you, take all the different grades
and breeds of people that line up in front
of a bar in a day, and a man has to keep
itis brain going to find something to say to
’em all. Nine out of ten of ’em want to
tell you a story or give you a barney of
some kind. Three or four out of ten want
to hang you up for a greater or less num
ber of drinks and have as many ways of
going about it. And two out of ten want
to borrow some money from you or get
you to cash a check. It’s a fine chance a
barkeeper’s got to lend money The big
gest salary I know of is $l5O a month,
and there's only two men in New York
get that, so far as I ever learned.”
‘‘Where do the bartenders come from?”
*“Well, hotel bartenders mostly begin as
small boys. The manager sees a smart
hall boy, and as soon as there is any va
cancy behind the bar puts him in there.
He has to wash glasses and make himsejf
generally useful and learn the business,
until by and by, if he’s got manners and
the patience of Job and the constitution
of a camel and leaves rum alone, he may
get so he can earn SBO a mouth and get
married.
“Oh, its a fine little thing to be a bap
tender and wear a white jacket.”
GOOD PIRATES; FINE TEAS.
The Principal Products oi the Amoy
District in China.
Dr. Bedloe Tells How to Craw Tea
and Says the Recipe Should be
Added to the Decalog-ue—Tea Worth
@SO a Pound—Americans, However,
Do Not Drink that Quality.
Edward Bedloe in the New York Advertiser.
More famous than any of the cities of
the far east is Amoy, its harbor is tho
best and handsomest on the Chinese coast.
Its suburbs are noted for fertility and
rich harvests. Its people take to fight
ing as naturally as Donnybrook Irishmen.
If they enter the army they become brave
soldiers and able generals. Those who
do not enlist become pirates who could
discount Capt. Kidd. At least such was
the case up to within a few years. Be
fore the feritish gunboat and American
sloop of war ruined the business the
China seas and the Malacca straits
swarmed with piratical craft of every
kind. Nearly all of these freebooters
were manned and commanded by Atnoy
men.
Though piracy as a trade is extinct, the.
pirate spirit is as strong rs ever. Some
times it expresses itself in the old-fash
ioned way by the capture and looting of a
steamer. This has occurred several
times in the past five years.
More frequently it takes the form of
riot and fiendish cruelty. In 1890 in
Tong-An. near Amoy, there was an of
ficer who deservedly incurred the enmity
of several powerful families in the dis
trict. Knowing the people, he never went
into their neighborhood without a bat
talion of soldiers. Twice he did this with
impunity. The third time his enemies
attacked the troops, killed thirty and
took him prisoner. They tried him in
proper Judge Lynch style and found him
guilty without taking testimony. They
buried him up to the head in quick lime
and poured molasses on his head to at
tract insects and start perspiration.
In 1891 a salt commissioner proclaimed
an internal revenue law which, however
well intended, proved cruel and obnox
ious in its operation. Tlie people peti
tioned him to repeal it aud return to the
former system. He refused, and fined
and imprisoned the leaders of the peti
tioners. A month afterward they arose
in tli'eir might and attacked his office and
residence. He managed to escape, but
his oldest son was captured by the riot
ers. They nailed him to a door, split
him into ghastly slices and fragments and
covered him with salt as a mute explana
tion of the horrible event. When the
news reached the commissioner he com
mitted suicide to save himself from a
similar fate.
Strange to say, these pirates make the
best employes. They are faithful, honest
and fearless. They will fight for a Euro
pean master against their own country
men or even against fellow pirates. They
make splendid boatmen. gardeners,
watchmen and guards.
Amoy is one of the great centers of the
tea industry. From the surrounding
country come the Oolong, Congou and
Fouchong that at one time were famous
the world over. As late as 1865 the trade
was enormous in volume and profit. As
many as a hundred million pounds have
been exported in one year. The planters,
brokers and exporters, however, became
too greedy. The planters used less care
upon the shrub; the broker mixed infe
rior with superior grades, and the ex
porter shipped everything on which he
could realize a profit. One largo con-
signment was seized and ... .
the New York board of health” ft** by
i tested of the sweepings of tea h 'X
mixed with dirt, splinters X hou *
filings and decaying “\ Ul
other consignment, sent to IjobaL Aa
examined bv a chemist wh, 1 w
that it contained 30 per cent of
and 80 per cent, of tilth: Under s ' u
auspices the popularity of the Amov h ,
vanished and the sales fell off ® '
quenee. in 1880-Til the amount extv
was about a million pounds. The re i'* 1
goose was no longer laying.
In the past two years there has he,.„ .
revival. Ihe farmers are m0re,.,,. , s
and the brokers more conscientious X
demand for Amo: tea has increased fln
different parts of the world It u r ?
ble that the movement will continn.. !.*
35f££S^“ prosperity 0f Amoy *,2
Amoy is not only the headquarters
this industry, but it is the treaty
from whteh are shipped the celebnuH
teas of Formosa. Over in that m3
cent island the tea plant thrives as i
does nowhere else, and its leaves attain s
perfection which must be enjoved 1
titan described. The outpuTconsis™ h J
Oolongs for Americans and European,
and Pouchougs for Celestials. The ,
passes the3o,ooo,ooomark. 1 rt
The quality varies to a marked de-res
The refuse leaves which John China.
refuses are boxed, sold for 13 to 15 cents w
pound, and of course sent to the UuitM
btates This mattes the "Famous NW
such Blend with Every Pound of wX
Is Given Away a Haudpainted Cun and
Saucer.” It is very popular in hoarding
houses, church fairs, the Chicago expos?
tiou. Blackwell's island and other philan
thropic institutions. It is good comuarwi
with some of the inky leaves ofCevlm
Japan and India. Itis bad compared with
all the other qualities of the Formosa leaf
Above this comes a series of grades cost
ing from 30 cents to 35 cents a pound
which according to the conscience of tha
grocer are retailed at from 40 cents toll
A higher class consists of “flavoring teas”
which are used by Eastern merchants to
increase the flavor and value of noon*
leaves. 1 w
They range in price from 40 cents to
$1.30 a pound and could be retailed profit,
ably at an advance of 0 per cent. So far
as I know they are never found in th*
market. A limited amount is exported
every year from Amoy to the United
States. Nearly all of this is used by tha
jobbers and wholesale grocers for blend
ing, while W small quantity goes to tha
few who really know what good tea is
These grades of tea should be the onlr
ones used by people of good taste. Thev
are no costlier than the poorer types as
the higher price is more than counter
balanced by tho larger amount of bever
age they produce and the greater satisfaiz
tion yielded by their use.
They are so rich in theine and essential
oils that a single cup will fill a room with
perfume and at the same time will give •
more relief to a fatigued body and mind
than a gallon of commoner fluid.
They are singularly free from tannin
and other harsh-tasting elements and
never produce indigestion, dyspepsia or
heartburn. Any one can become a public
benefactor by introducing these jeas into
the markets of the great citiesi
Above the flavoring teas are still higher
grades. The amount annually grown is
small, and, what is more important,
sma.ler than the demand. The pries
ranges from s[.soa pound. Nearly allot
these precious leaves are secured by the
high mandarins, while a little goes
abroad ty> wealthy connoisseurs in Russia
and a few other countries. I have sam
pled these wonderful teas only three or
four times, but the memory of them will
fast as long as life.
The tea growers believe that fine moon
light is as necessary to the perfect leaves
as is sunlight. The Chinese poets hare
carried the idea still further, and in idle
verses have sung the praises of various
planets and stars in influencing or bene
fiting the growth of the tender leaf. In
fact, there is a regular literature on the
subject, the sage and singer of the ex ;
treme. Orient having done for tea what
their European cousins have done for •
Bacchus, Gambrinusr and John Barley
corn.
There are twenty ways of making cof
fee; there is but one way of making tea.
The rule should be added to the tea
commandments aud taught to every man,
woman and child. Here it is: Put a
! small quantity of tea in a cold porcelain
or chiaa cup, fill with boiling water,
cover with the saucer and let stand for
three minutes. Make it yonrself on your
own table or desk. ,Do not trust the cook
or the chambermaid. If married, uo not
trust either your husband or your wife.
If you desire dyspepsia or are sick
enough to require a powerful astringent
boil your tea in an iron pot until it is a
rich black. This well known form of tho
fluid is merely a medicine and nothing
more.
To make Russian tea add a lump of
sugar and a slice of lemon when you pour
the boiling water over the leaf. To make
iced tea fill a bottle with tea and place it
in the ice chest. Still better, put it in an
ice cream freezer and frappe it. Frappad
tea is the most cooling and delicious sum
mer drink extant. it is also a wonderful
pick-me-up in the dismal dawn that fol
lows a vermilion evening.
Very strong tea, heavily sweetened and
fortified with arrack, is a capital anodyne.
When arrack cannot be procured old
brandy may be substituted. It is a poor
substitute.ias the vinous oils and ethers
bury the subtle aroma and flavor of the
herb.
It is not in respect to tea alone that an
ancient civilization like China can give us
valuable suggestions. It teaches an ad
mirable lesson in pointing out the medici
nal value of foods. In many cases we
have the same theoretical knowledge, but
do not apply it to the same extent. Thus,
for example, one.of the precious roots is
ginger. We recognize its virtue in the
alehoholic extract, and for other uses we
relegate it to the domain of childhood in
the form of gingerbreads and snaps. The
Oriental preserves it in honey or in sugar
and converts it into a delightful sweet
meat. He pickles it and it becomes an
appetizing side dish. He cuts it into thin
slices and adds it to soups, ragouts and
other made dishes with a decided im
provement in flavor and digestibility. He
adds it to curry and chutney to give in
creased zest and healthfulness. He makes
it into a wine, a cordial and a tea. In
every form I ha -e ever tasted abroad it
was pleasant to tlie palate and grateful
to the stomach. Some of these days our
housewives and chefs will follow the ex
ample.
Equally wise is the doctrine that ani
mal foods should be secondary and vege
tables primary in a truly scientific regi
men. John Chinaman is very philosophic
and seldom goes to extremes. He is sel
dom a vegetarian, a Grahamite or a tee
totaler. Equally seldom is he a carnivore,
a glutton or a toper. He lives well, ana
by subordinating meat to fish and fish to
vegetable food he preserves his health ana
strength where too often we succumb to
fevers, pains and the other ills of an out
raged stomach.
A New Story of George Washington.
Here is anew story on the Father of his
Country, told by the Phila
delphia Times: Washington’s head
gardener was a man from some
European kingdom, where he had worked in
the royal grounds. But coming to America,
he left his wife behind. Homesickness tor
his ' gude woman a face soon cegan to P”'
on him, and Washington noticed the anxious
e; e and drooping spirits of his servant ein
ally the man went down to the river and '•
dared hla Intention of shipping to , “ e , l '
ountry when who should come up and lean
over the side of a newly-arrived vessel P
his wife. The kind hearted general had
retly sent for the woman, and she fortune
ly surprised her loving husband in one of
fits of despondency.