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Copyright, 1891. by M. Leidt & Cos. liaKV and!. 1
BAB AND THE TRAMP.
Interviewed a Member of the Great
Unwashed Tribe.
An Irish “Eyotalian” Vagabond’s
Life Story—His Peculiar Notions
and Ways About the House—“Angel
oh's” Strange Bedroom Dialogue.
The Wanderer's Odd Letter to Bab
at Parting—Always Give a Tramp
Something to Eat, But Don’t Let
Him In.
Copyright.
New York. Dec. 2.—We took him be
cause he asked us to. This may sound
queer, but it is true. He not only asked
us by word of mouth, but his eyes looked
so yearning and his clothes so tattered,
and he himself so generally wretched that
he seemed to represent in himself starv
ing humanity. So we took him in and
did for him. Later on, he—but that is
the end of the story. The first doing
merely consisted in giving him his*break
fast, and the cook who, banged around
the pans because of her indignation, said,
very audibly, "Thanks be to God,” after
the namby-pamby appetites that they’ve
got hero, there is some body in the world
who can eat.” Hut that was natural be
cause he was hungry.
After the hunger had been satisfied, X
interviewed him. Notwithstanding the
rags and tatters, notwithstanding the
wretched long hair and the dirt.v face, I
was made to feel that I was in the pres
ence of my master man. He gave a look
at my shoes and sniffed. Quite honestly.
1 don’t think women ever do varnish pat
ent leather well. Then he said that he
could make a fire glow with delight, that
it would burn all the coal, and so we
would save on ashes, and that he was
ready and willing to be handy. And
every time he spoke of his accomplish
ments he looked at my shoes. Nature in
making me a woman made me a base
coward, morally and physically.
HIS ILLUSTIIIOCB NAME.
I asked him his name, and this what he
told me: “Me name, ma'am? It is
Michael Angel-oh—mo mother was Irish
and me father, glory be to God they
haven’t lived to see their son in his present
position, was Kyetalian; hence me name.
Me mother said, when I was little, that I
was called Angel-oh, because I was so
beautiful I looked like the angels?’’ I
didn't like to tell him he had changed,
hut 1 remembered very handsome babies
often made men who were quite#-well
not quite nice to look at, Then ho
continued: “But whenever she said
this, peace be to her ashes! mo
father contradicted her and said me
name came from a great painter: and she
would always throw' something at him
and tell him none of her young ones
would ever be named after a painter a
mean trade where they had to work all
day," Just here I waved Angel-oh tostop.
and retreated to report to the family. The
masculine element went out and looked at
lum, came back and said. “Oh. 1 suppose
you are like all women; you like to have
something in the shape of a man hanging
around who will toady to you, and trvand
make you think you know something.’’
Angel-oh never did this, however. Dur
ing the time he abided with us. lie never
ceased convincing me of tuy littleness.
lhe feminine part of the establishment
objected io a smell about him; later on I
discovered that that smell, which was
l^n U l stl '' e of morgue, came from
some medicine he used to rub on one leg
!’’ \ he rheumatism was supposed
1 exist. 1 never knew a handier rheu-
matism. It always appeared when it was
a question of Angel-oh going on a long er
rand ; at such times, he made no excuse,
but simply wailed out, “Oh, me leg,"
stiffened out the afflicted member and
was supposed to be in too much pain to
speak.
AS A MEMBER OF BAB’S HOUSEHOLD.
The first week of his residence my
shoes were varnished in such a degree
that it is a mystery to this day that I
wasn't arrested for assault and battery;
for 1 delighted in them so 1 used to walk
down street looking at them, and, not see
ing the coming woman, bumped into her.
Oh, by-the-by, the reason wo called him
Angel-oh was because one of the dogs was.
uamed Mike, and then, too, it sounded
more aristocratic. The masculine ele
ment said that was all the good we ever
got out of him; that it pleased us to be
able to say, "You didn’t get my message
before 9 o’clock? Why, I sent it to you
by Angel-oh at half past 0, and he is a ser
vant that never makes a mistake.” On
the third day, I went out with the de
termination to buy Angel-oh a suit of
clothes, aud I got what I considered a
very respectable, warm outfit. Fancy
then my horror at hearing him tell the
cook: “If there’s one thing I’m after
despisin’, it’s clothes what's picked out
by a woman; they haven’t got the air nor
the style about 'em as when they's
choosen by yourself. Women is very
good in their places, but I'm one of those
who thinks that their places is not a gala
vantin around choosin’ men’s clothes.”
I suppose it was weak in me, but I
cried. However, I didn't tell anybody
about it at the time, because I seemed to
be Angel-oh's only friend. At the end of
a week, it was impossible to have the
fire in my room made before breakfast,
ana when I ventured in fear and trem
bling to say that Alexander had always
made it in time, Angel-oh met me with a
cold stare, and said: “And who is this
Alexander that you compare tome? As
far as I can understand, he was nothin’
more nor less than a common American,
while In me runs the nobility of two na
tions, the Kings of Ireland and the Prin
cess of Italy. As for your fire, pull the
blanket up over yourself, and when
your coffee comes, it’ll warm you.
Me paper I’ve got to read. Would
you wish me to be ignorant of the
politics of the country that I may one
day control? Would you wish me to know
nothin’ about the black woman, dirty
nagur, that Cleveland is puttin' back on a
throne instead of givin’the said throne
to a dacent Irishman? Would you have
me know nothin’about McKinley ? And
him likely to be the next one to say.
•Michael Angel-oh, step up and run the
army?’ Shure, woman is mean, low crea
tures, more givin' to thinkin’ about the
luxuries that men work to give them than
the questions of importance.” After that
I said nothing more about the fire, aud
tried to deceive the family into believing
that I didn’t care for one.
THE TRAMP'S RELIGIOUS CONVICTIONS.
Angel-oh was very stern as far as re
ligion was concerned. I don't think I
ever met anybody who was quite as will
ing to let other people do the fasting and
praying as he was. Let the cook just get
a delicious mouthful of meat on her fork,
and Angel-oh would remind her that it
was Saint Somebody's day, and that she
would burn forever unless she limited her
dinner to tea and toast. And then he
would eat her share and his own, too.
She was the most pugilistic cook wo ever
had. but she was as meek as a lamb be
fore Angel-oh, and fetched and carried
for him and permitted him to stew the
vile herbs that he used to cure .the
rheumatism on the kitchen stove, when
she wouldn’t have let me make caramels;
no. not to have saved my soul.
The truth, especially if it were an un
pleasant one. was of great importance to
our lrish-Italian protege. He had been
told when some tiresome man called that
he was to say I was out, and the message
was given after this fashion;
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1893.
“she says, sir, she’s out.
I’m not one of them kind that goes in
for lyin’, and so to mako things smoother
for you and save you the time, I tell you
the truth, sir. I don’t think there is much
use of your ever cornin’ again; when I
took in your card, says she ’That bother
some fool!’ And says I, ‘At least he is
the better of you, he’s a man,’ which, sir,
you might think was a liberty for me to
say that, but I concluded it by your name,
and, sir, there is many a fine woman who
would be glad to see you and take my ad
vice, and don’t fiddle away the precious
moments a’ runnin’ after a skinny thing
like her.’ ” It is quite unnecessary to say
that the man never came again, and that
I am told he dislikes me.
Still this wasn’t tneworstof Angel-oh's
truth-telling. There are always little
things in a household that it is wiser to
keep from a man; there is no necessity to
entertain him with the little irrigations,
the little worries, and the troubles that
are purely feminine. It dawned on me
one day that the masculine element
seemed to know a great deal about the
household affairs. Then I noticed that
Angel-oh managed to slip into his room
presumably to fix the tiro Just before din
ner. One night I paid a visit near the
door at the same time—that is to say, I
meanly listened. This was the dialogue:
Masculine Element —Ah, Angelo, fixing
up the fire, eh! How has the house been
to-day?
Angel-oh; “Well, sir, there have been
the usual troubles; the missis and the
butcher had a set-to. and if you have got
anythin’ for your dinner to-night you may
thank me for it, because I talked to the
butcher and made him see with me own
eyes that it wasn't worth while listening
to the complaints of a woman, and to send
us a good leg of mutton for me own sake.
Then, sir, the Missis had three letters:
there was two ladies to luncheon, and
though the cook said it was clarot they
hart to drink, 1 have my doubts. And
later in the day two men came. Missis
and the baby went out with them, and
God in his goodness only knows where
they went, for I didn't like to follow
them.”
When I heanl this, I must confess I felt
as if I
WOULD LIKE TO BOX ANGEL-OH'S EARS.
As for the masculine element, 1 deter
mined to make it unnecessary for listen
ing to him. So. when at the dinner table
it said, "Any company to-day, dear?” I
looked at it in the way that only a woman
can look when she wants to lie", and said,
"None at all.” It kept quiet after that,
but when the fish came in, with the same
airof studied unconcern, it inquired, "Did
you get a letter from the south?” And I
smiled back and answered, "No, the post
man quite neglected us.” Then it looked
at me sternly, and said, "No visitors?
And no letters?” And I looked back,
and with an independence that would
have been impossible if I had been speak
ing to Angel-oh, I said, "None that con
cerns you.”
And after that it went to its club, and
1 to see Angel-oh. He was In the kitchen,
sitting in the cook's own chair, writing a
letter. I little dreamed then what that
letter was. qut I started in to give him a
good talking to about carrying tales.
W tich talking to was interrupted by his
saying, “1 knows me duty. Miss, to the
gentlemen of the house. Let us not dis
cuss that which is unpleasant to you, but
which it were only right for me us a man
to man to refer to.”
The next morning break fast time passed,
market time catne. but there was no sign
of Angel-oh. Suddenly the cook remem
bered the letter, and said that he took it
in and laid it on my desk. There it was.
Angel-oh had done me the courtesy of
using my best 'paper, and this was the
letter he had written to mo who had been
bis true friend.
MICHAEL’S FRANK LETTER.
“Ma'am—which it were not being
truthful to put before that title an en
dearin’ word, for you have been but a
tyrant to me. An Irishman, specially
when mixed with Eyetalians, never will
be slaves, as is so beautifully sung by the
English saylor, I cum to you trustin’ in
the lovin’ kindness of the female race;
but it were like askin’ for respectable
things to eat and bein’ served with gravel
iam a man of great knowledge, aud it
has grieved rue greatly to see how this
whole family is givin’ over to lightness,
and things which would be disproved of,
both by Mr. Gladstone and Mister Mc-
Kinley. I, a citizen, were put to the in
dignity of varnishin’your shoes; I hurl
you all from me. Your mutton was not
bad for America, but i never did like
the flavor of the tobacco used by the mas
ter, and I couldn’t abear a gentieman who
did not leave around loose things that
might have been pleasant to me. I can
wish nothin’ worse to you ma’am than is
certain to come. Yours sinserely,
Michael Angel-oh.
“P. S. As the winds of New York are
terrible on my bad leg, I am goin’ to
Florida with a family who took me on
your recommend. The recommend were
a autograph which you wrote, and above
it I put the truth about that tried and
trusty mail, Angel-oh.
“P. S. There is a little bill standin’ at
the corner saloon in the master's name. I
am sure he will be honorable enough,
though I think him mean, to pay for his
likker.”
DOES KINDNESS TO TRAMPS PAY.
Such was my experience with Michael
Angel-oh. This was the result of taking
in and doing for an able-bodied man, who
might have earned his own living in some
way or other. It is quite unnecessary, it
seems to me, to say that the standing
rule regarding applicants at present is:
“Always give them something to eat, but
don’t let them in.” The family have be
haved with a certain amount of respect
for my feelings, and do not speak much
of the late departed, but I think it is be
cause eacli member is carrying in his oi
lier heart a black secret connected with
Angel-oh which they ko not care to think
about. Hasn't this over happened to
you? It is always coming one way or an
other, but I would rather make a mistake
a thousand times than let somebody who
was really hungry go away unfed. I
can't say that I regret the acquaintance
of Angel-oh. Turn about is fair play. I
did for him, and he did for Bab.
SOME FAMOUS DWARFS
Sir Knight Jeffrey Hudson and the
Artistic Richard Gibson.
From Harper's Young People.
One of the most celebrated of little
men was Jeffrey Hudson, who figures in
Sir Walter Scott's "PeverUof the Peak."
His history has been so often written as
to bear but a brief mention. A whimsical
mite was he, presented by the Duchess
of Buckingham to Queen Henrietta
Maria, the wife of Charles I, served up in
a cold pie. and many were the pranks in
which he took a part. For instance,
there was the party of tattle-baskets, as
they were vulgarly termed, sitting down
to enjoy the "cup that cheers" anil a dish
of gossip at the same time, while Butter
kin the eat sat gravely by. The meal
over, one guest offered puss a bit of
cheese, anil was almost paralyzed to have
that animal speak up and say, “Butter
kin can help himself when he is hungry,”
aud then made off downstairs, leaving the
old crones with uplifted hands, in wild
confusion, shouting at the hostess. "A
witch! a witch! with her talking cat!”
while it might have gone very hard with
the poor woman had it not soon been
found that a wag, for a joke, had killed
and flayed her pot grimalkin and dressed
wee Jeffrey in its skin.
When knighted by the king, Hudson
assumed many high and mighty airs, al
though he was the butt as well as the
amusement of the court; was once al
most drowned in a basin of water, and
would have been blown into the Thames
but for a shrub that saved him. But
Lord Minimus (as he was dubbed) really
bad his doughty adventures; was sent on
diplomatic missions; fell into the hands
of a Turkish pirate, who carried him off a
prisoner to Barbary; and finally distin
guished himaelf by shooting a Mr. Crofts
in a duel, that gentlemen having ,at first
come to answer the small mans challenge
armed with a syringe filled with water.
A contemporary of Jeffrey was Richard
Gibson, an artictic Llllipution, who stud
ied under Sir Peter Lely, painted very
creditable historical pieces aud minia
ture portraits, and taught drawing to
the royal Princesses Mary and Elizabeth,
who were afterward Queens of England.
He was appointed, in his youth, page of
the hack stairs, and was married to Anno
Shepherd, another court dwarf exactly
his own hight, having a most brilliant
wedding, King Charlos giving away the
bride, while the queen presented her
with a diamond ring, and Edmund Wal
ler, the poet to their majesties, composed
a poein on the event. This diminutive
pair, 3 feet 10 inches high, passed a long
and happy life together, and nine child
ren, five of whom grew to maturity and
were full ordinary size.
BWHY WOMEN FEAR MICE.
One of Them Tries to Think of the Rea
son for Being Afraid of a Little Ani
mal.
From the London WOman.
Asa woman (and, I trust, a brave
ono), a lover of animals and a student of
natural history, I asked the vexed ques
tion in all seriousness: Why are women
afraid of mice? Why should the sight (I
had almost written the name) of a tiny,
harmless, graceful little creature strike
terror into the stoutest hearts that beat
in feminine breasts! Echo answers
“Why?” The fear of mice is a hereditary
curse, an inherited weakness, a fatal foe,
which it is useless to combat, a foolish
dread of which we ought to feel heartily
ashamed and yet it isia reul and a formid
able terror.
I remember once reading a story about
a coterie of strong-minded women wtio
gave a series of lectures upon female
virtues in an old country town assembly
room. One of their number was chosen
to deliver the lecture on valor, and se
lected for her subject the history of Joan
of Arc. But when the evening arrived
and she was discoursing upon the valor
of her sex in general, a mouse ran across
the platform, and the lecturer and her
strong-minded sisters jumped up on their
chairs, clutching their petticoats in a
manner not altogether picturesque. But
I maintain that the fear of mice has noth
ing whatever to do with the lack of real
bravery, and that Joan of Arc would
probably have clutched her petticoats in
precisely the same manner.
A mouse in the chamber of Marat
would, I believe, have deterred Charlotte
Corday from her dread purpose, and the
tail of one popping opportunely from the
carving of Tuillla's chariot would have
prevented her from driving over her
father's corpse, and I could cite many in
stances in which mice might have
changed the history of the world. Who
can doubt that Cleopatra and the other
swarthy Egyptian beauties held the sa
cred cat in special veneration on account
of the part he played in ridding them of
their pet aversion? Every one knows
that if a cat has a weakness it is for a
plump, well-matured mouse, and puss has
perhaps for this reason earned the affec
tions, because the gratitude, of our sex.
Customer—Have vou a copy of “Fifteen
Decisive Battles?” Bookseller—No, sir;
we are sold out. But we tan give you
"Reflections of a Married Man.'’—Tit-
Bits.
"Some men,” said Uncle Eben, “is ez
puckerin’ ez cr onripe persimmon. An’
often cr tech ob de fros’ ob adversity
brings out an amount ob sweetness dat
am amazin'.”—Washington Star.
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iwiiTiiiCii
SCHEDULE FOR
isieoi Hope, Montgomery and mi war Slow
SUNDAY TIME.
CARS RUN AS FOLLOWS:
Leave Holton street 9:07 a. m.; leave
Hope 8:17 a. m.; leave Hay street Id. “ ■ , ;
12 noon. 1.2. 3. 4. 5, 0. 7 and 8 p. m-j ™ nn
direct from Hav street to Isle of Hope,
connecting with the steam cars at -anu j
Leave isle of Hope 11:1ft a. m.. !-•' ; n „
2:15, 3:15. 4 :15. 5:15. 0:15, 7:15. 8:15 and 9 P
Cars from Thunderbolt to Isle of Hope
hour after 2:00 p. m. until 8 p. m :30
Leave Isle of Hope for Thunderbolt n
and hourly afterwards until 8:30 p.ol n
CITY AND SUBURBAN R ' CO.
F. F,. Laughton, sup*^
INSUR_
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(Successor to R. H. Footman A Cos I
File, Mohr qhH Sim lea*
108 BAY STREET.
[Next West of the Cotton Exchacr
Telephone call No. 34. SAVANNAH,