Newspaper Page Text
16
COPE RHYT,
Allegretto.
Plano, Tempo ben ma rcato.
1. One (Lay last week I * felt so queer, XO! heyO! hey
. 2. At first I thought my 1 heart was wrong, 1 t O ! hey O' hey
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' ?! had a iref - ful pain just here, O! hey O! hey O! Do
Ol Danse I. had been in lub so long, 1 O! heyO! hey O! But
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THE WAY TO POP.
Not Corn, bnt the Important Ques
tion to Your Best Girl.
One of Life's Painful Emergencies
Every Man Must Go it Alone and
Try His Pate—Advice is Abundant.
From the Washington Star.
The young fellow was strolling out
beyond the boundary dragging one foot
after the other, his eyes fixed upon the
ground, his head hung low, in fact a very
picture of unhappiness. There came
trotting merrily along the road behind
him another young fellow on horseback.
He carried, his head in the
air, was looking briskly around
at the scenery, and was a personified
definition of a man temporarily, at least,
happy. As he oame nearer to tho
dejected man he recognised him and
smiled, and when he reached his side he
reined In his horse and lightly touched
the pedestrian on tho shoulder with his
riding stick.
“Why, old follow, how are you?" he
aaid.
“Par from well,” replied the dejected
man.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, I suppose,” and he heaved a
sigh that would have melted a heart of
granite.
“Ah, X know what it is,” said the new
man on horseback, “it's the same old story.
Poor fellow.” He patted him on the back,
spoke to his horse, and went up the road
at a rapid trot. After he had ridden a
quarter of a mile or so, he met another
equestrian going in the opposite direction.
They saluted
“What’s the news?” said the man.
“Great news,” replied the other, “just
keep on down the road and in a few min
utes you will meet Charlie Gaybird
walking with his head down like a found
ered horse and sighing like a thousand
furnaces.”
“Why, I met him on this very road at
this very time of year in precisely the
same condition one year ago.”
“Yes,” was the answer, “that’s just it.
He gets rejected every spring and walks
In precisely the same plaoe after each re
jection.”
THEN HE RECOVERS.
Here was a funny state of affairs. A
young man goes and falls in love every
year; proposes soon after Easter, gets re
jected ; walks out into the country to be
alone with his woe; wrestles with him
self ; doubtless contemplates suicide—
there is no harm in contemplating it at a
safe distunes—comes home, and eats
very little dinner. He sleeps very little
that night; is wretchod all the next day;
his appetite returns; he laughs at Jokes
sadly, but he drinks a bottle of beer in tho
evsning. The fourth da.v he finds himself
at work in a tolerably normal state; is
surprised that he begins to take an
interest in his fellow man, and jokes a
little himself in a feeble way. The fifth
day, while a certain subd’ued sadness
pervades him, he is quite like himself and
the sixth day the sky is clear of all
clouds. The fact that less than a week
before he passed through a stortn of
emotions is hardly to ho realized. It
seems as though he had projxxsed and
been rejected several decades ago. He
does not forget it, however, but he firmly
declares that it is his last positively
his last—love affair. He honestly believes
Perhaps the girl who rejected him be
lieves it too, and bemoans the sad neces
sity she was under casting a shadow
upon his bright career. But it transpires
that in tuo course of a year, when the
BAX JO PRAISES.
balmy days of spring are upon us, he goes
and does it all over again with some other
girl. It is then, perhaps, that the girl
who rejected him the year before begins
to lose respect for him, and to wish that
he had maintained his grief a little longer,
but she ought really not to object. When
a girl rejects a man there her connection
with his good or evil fortuno should
cease, and he should be free to pull him
self together in the way most convenient
to him, and if he finds a solace for one
rejection by putting himself in tho wa.v
of getting another it is certainly no one's
business but his own. She had a chance
to take the most vital concern in him, but
she declined it. It is unfair for her to
maintain any power in a corporation in
which she holds no stock.
THEBE IS ONE BIGHT WAT.
It may bo that the reason why tho par
ticular man mentioned above fails in all
his matrimonial proposals is because he
does not know how to ask the question,
yet, if practice makes perfect, he ought
by this time to be approaching a very con
siderable degree of proficiency. There
is a thousand ways of proposing to a
woman. Thus, one old bachelor, who had
been a merchant all his life and who had
seen very little society outside of his
store, wrote to the object of his devotion
and said:
“Dear Madam: Wishing a consignment
always on hand of such goods as you are,
would wish to be considered a perma
nent and exclusive agent therefor. Speedy
reply would much oblige yours, etc.’
This epistle, it is reported, brought the
lady to terms at onco, and they lived hap
pily ever afterward.
Another unique proposal is reported to
have emanated from an artist. He was
desperately in love and she knew it. Ho
was sittiug in her parlor, and this is how
it went:
He —“I would like to print your por
tmit **
She—“ Well, I’ll think about it.”
He—“But please say I may.”
She —“You may?”
He —“I ma.v take some time to do it.”
She —“There is no hurry.”
He —“1—I want to take my whole life
time to do it in.”
She—“ How often must I sit?”
He—“ Every day.”
She—“ How long every day?”
Ho—“ Twenty-four hours!”
Thecurtain had bettor be rung down at
this i>oiut, for her answer made the play
a comedy or tragedy. All tho same,
notwithstanding that there are probably
in the English language at least a million
printed accounts of proposals, it is doubt
ful if any man or woman ever truly told
the stor.v of that scene whero no oiio was
present and the fateful words were
spoken No man ought to tell. Every
[ ono must fill in the details of these mat
| ters to suit himself, or ratnor to suit the
lady in tho case, it he kuows how to do
it.
Owen Meredith wrote “Ducile” here in
Washington, and, if ever a book was full
of love making, it is this one; but does
anyone really believe that the proposals
in it are faithful chronicles of things l.ord
Lytton did and said himself ? Yet if they
were not. then how on earth did he find out
about them ' Why he simply made them
up out of his imagination, and wrote
them in beautiful verse. But there may
be some useful hints and general direc
tions about proposing that can be thrown
out, always with the understanding that
all the details must be supplied by the
person in interest.
In passing, it must he remarked that it
is almost beyond comprehension that atiy
woman should care a penny how a man
proposes to her, or that her answer
should have nny reference to the way in
which the question is asked. Does "sho
not expect him to propose? Why. she
knows what is in his mind almost before
he knows it himself. She eat), if she is
clever, tell precisely what lie is going
to do. Then what difference does it
make how he does it? If she has not got
the answer rcudy to the question that sho
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, APRIL 29. 1894.
knows is coming, she ought to have it
ready, and if she is taken by surprise it is
her own fault.
“Miss,” a lover might very well say,
after a certain stage of the proceedings
has been passed. “th 6 time has arrived
when you expect me to propose and when
lam prepared to do so. What is your
answer?” Would not this be far better
than it is for him to recite a form of
proposal that ho has learned by heart,
which she read in novels, which are the
only sources of any information she may
have on the subject? It would bo an
ideal state of affairs to have things thus,
but it is utterly impossible. If you want
to propose to a girl you must brace your
self and make up your mind to go through
with a scene.
TAKE PI.ENTY OF ROOM.
A general recommendation of value is,
propose out of doors, in the country, if
you can manage it. Get in the middle
of a place as big and empty as the desert
of Sahara, mind the * scenery—and
have it out. You ought to be out of sight
and out of hearing. To do the thing
with true comfort you must have plenty
of space—must be ablo to bellow with
rage or shout with delight, or cry with
grief—must have room to jump, or dance,
or kneel pleadingly. None of these things
can you comfortably do when you think
there is a chance of your being seen or
overheard. There is a story told of a
person at a summer hotel whose room
opened on the balcony, and who over
heard, in consequence, a man making a
proposal, which was accepted; but it was
not an honest thing for this person to
have listened, and sho ought, as soon
as she realized ivhijt was
going on, to have left her room or, at any
rate, to have coughed or sneezed and
made a noise to prevent tho progress of a
performance that was not intended for
her ears. How would you who road this
like to think that some.one overheard you
when you proposed to the girl you onco
wished to marry?
You would object, naturally. This is
tho great trouble about proposing within
doors; but, unfortunately, the desert of
Sahara, or places of similar solitude and
ample dimensions, are not available often,
and it is necessary, usually, to make your
declaration of love in a parlor. Such
being tho case, for heaven’s sake, and for
your own as well, do it softly, and disturb
no one. The next piece of advice is to
take whatever answer is given you dec
orously, and don't go and give the thing
away if you are rejected. If you are
accepted it will soon be known, but it
is Just as well to remember in this case
that the rest of the human rare are not
quite as vitally interested It) yourself and
your fiancee ns you are. There, is there
fore, no necessity of burdening your
friends with long conversations on the
subject of your mutual happiness.
The final admonition which all lovers
should pay attention to is not to propose
until .you are reasonably certain that you
will be accepted, and above all things
never to propose unless you want to he
accepted, for in this latter case, tho
unexpected may happen and you will be
in a terrible dilemma.
An Instance.—Miss Passe (simpering)—
They say these photographs Jon t do me lus
tier. Mr. KeddU
Mr. Seddtt (firmly)—No, they do not. But
thou justice, you know, should always be
tempered with mercy.—Chicago Record
It was in the far west— I "Darling!" he whis
pered; "after I left you last evening I walked
on air!"
She met his words with a look of wonder
and amazement. “Well I declare:" she ex
claimed: who cut you dowu. Hank?"—Town
Topics.
A Neglectful Citizen.—South American
Wife (earl* iiiorninjn —Hark' Hear the can
non and the rittleof musketry, the clash of
swords and the yells: Hisirn!
Husband —Mlo 'lhis must be elec
tion day, and I forgot to register —Novr York
Weekly.
WHERE CEREMONY COUNTS
The Opening Rites of Three Very
Celebrated Bodies.
Bupremo Court Leads Off-Vice Presi
dent Stevenson Has Given Great
Dignity and Impressiveness to the
Senate Work--Rev. Bagby in the
House.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Washington. D. C.. April 15.—1 t is well
worth your while to come to Washington
for three days in the beginning of the
week to witness the ceremony of opening
the daily session of the Senate, of the
House and of the supreme court. As
they all open at noon, you would have to
take three days for it, and as the su
preme court never sits on Saturday, and
the Senate rarely sits on that day, and
does dpt sit on Friday, if it can help it,
you would have to come early in the
week.
The supreme court, as the most digni
fied and ceremonious of the three bodies,
has the most impressive opening, al
though it is tho only ono which has no
chaplain, and, therefore, no prayer. Five
minutes before Id o’clock all the members
of the court who are able to be present,
and that means all who are not actually
ill, are assembled in the consultation
room, across the corridor from the su
preme court room. Each of them is
arrayed in his long, shining, much-tuck
ered black satin robe, which is in some
cases ;;n heirloom and in others a present,
prepared for the opening ceremony.
It is ono of the points of etiquette in this
body, which is more punctilious than nny
other in tho United States, that every
member shall be ready on the minute for
the grand entrance. In the corridor out
side tho colored messengers of the court,
mostly gray-haired and fine looking, who
are practically body servants, and who
think the justices the greatest men on
earth—immeasurably superior to sen
ators and representatives,'to say nothing
of ordinary untitled citizens—are stand
ing, waiting with the air of expecting a
great event. At one minute before Id
these men produce ropes of black velvet
and stretch then across the corridor so as
to stop the stream of pedestrians, and
stand holding the ropes, erect and motion
less, like so many fence posts. As soon as
they are in place the doors of the con
sultation room and the doors of the
private entrance to the court room,
directly across the corridor, are gently
opened by other colored messengers, and
the stately procession of judges in rust
ling gowns marches slowly and solemnly
across the corridor through the fence of
velvet and African*, and into the passage
way behind the chamber, The doors are
closed, the fences melt away and tho com
mon throng streams by.
Hurrying to the court room you will bo
just in time to sec little Chief Justice
Fuller, with his long white hair and his
long white mustache, loading the proces
sion into the chain her at the rear of what
is known as the "bench,” the raised placo
with the nine comfortable arm chairs
behind the long mahogany desk. As the
procession enters everybody rises and
remains standing us tho marshal of the
court formally announces "the honorable
the chief justice and theassoeiato justices
of the supreme court of tho United
States,” and while the judges ascend to
their places and stand through tho
proclamation that the court is now in
session, when the judges all bow at once
to the audience, cve.ryliody bows back to
them, and all sit down. There is a
partition just behind it looking out
through windows on tho capitol park.
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nig-gers say “you’re gwine to die,” “Oh dear no, I aint,” said I, F
when, to my sur - prise I found My lib - ber wrong my heart was sound And
I
all I need’s a lit - tie rye,” O! hey O! hey O!
old rye whis -ky pull’d me ’round. O! 1 hey O! hey Ol
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. / After last verse only.
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3
To celebrate my cure, I guess,
O ! hey O ! hey O!
I had dis banjo built express,
O ! hey O! hey O!
If you can’t hear the tune it rings,
Just run your eye along dese strings, ‘
Good news to all dis banjo brings !
O! hey O! hey O!j
i
Banjo Praises.—3.'
There is a door in the middle of the
partition, a double door, held open by
two pag. s, through which the chief jus
tice mounts to his chair, which is ip the
middle of the row, the senior justices
marching up on his right to their places,
while the junior justices walk all around
behind the partition and up to their
places on his left. A page
stands behind each chair a bright
faced, well-dressed lad. The chief Jus
tice looks to the right to see that all the
senior justices are in place, then to the
left to see that all the junior justices are
in place, the proclamation is made in sol
emm tones, the justices make their
haughty bow, and then sit down in the
chairs which the pages cautiously push
forward. Then, and not till then. - is the
supreme court ready to do business.
OPENING THE SENATE.
Vice President Stevenson has made the
opening ceremony in the Senatd more
impressive than it was, by several changes
in tho arrangements. For eximple. a
few minutes before 12 o’clock all the
pretty, pleasant little pages in their
knickerbocker suits range themselves
directly in front of the senatorial desk in
a semi-circle, each boy standing in front
of a desk and being separated from the
next boy by the space between the
desks, so that it is a well ordered line.
Then at one minute before 12 the Vice
President himself walks in from his room
behind the chamber, followed by the
chaplain, Rev. Dr. Milburn, “the blind
man eloquent,” led by the smallest of all
tho pages, who conducts him, at Mr.
Stevenson's request, not as formerly to
the clerk's desk, but to tho Vico Presi
dent’s place, while the Vice President
modestly takes his station at the side of
his desk on a level with the clerk's desk,
and the other officers of the Senate form
in line in front of the clerk's desk.
The Vice President takes up the little
white Ivory barrel, which serves him for
a gavel, brings it down with a light tap
od his green-eovered desk and softly
says: “The chaplain whl otter prayer.”
At this word every senator in the cham
ber rises to his feet and bows his head,
if he does not close, his eyes, in what
seems to be a reverential attitude, and
remains thus while the blind chaplain,
in his musical and sonorous voice, and al
ways original style, invokes the divine
blessing. "Chaplain Milburn,” said Mr.
Heed, when ho was speaker, and Dr.
Milburn .was chaplain of the House, “can
tell heaven more news in his morning
prayer than any other man I ever heard.”
This was just Speaker Heed s quaint way
of describing the striking allusions which
Chaplain Milburn likes to make in his
prayers to current events in which con
gress is, or ought to be interested.
The chaplain's eloquence is notaffected.
but entirely natural, although sometimes
his expression becomes very ornate. It
has been said that ho makes "the most
eloquent prayer ever addressod to con
gress,” but this remark, besides being
stolen wit, is not true, lor his prayers are
not to congress, but aro sincere and
heartfelt, however elaborate In language.
He is a remarkable man, who, if he had
not been blind would probablg Hhve had
a great place In the public eye, and who,
even with tho disadvantage of blindness,
has done a great deal of good in the
world, and has a reputation all over the
country which any man might desire. He
must be nearly 70 now, and while his hair
and his beard are turning gray, he seems
vigorous as ever as you see him walking,
almost always bareheaded, for ho believes
in air and sunlight, bat in hand, on bright
days, by his daughter's side, down from
the capitol.
When he finishes his prayer in the Sen
ato he shakes hands with Vice President
Stevenson, who then takes the chair, and
is led by the little page down on the floor,
where he asks to be taken to one alter
another of tho senators wtio are his
especial friends, that he may, in his for
mal and dignified way, shako'them by tho
hand and bid them good morning. Every
body has a tender and sympathetic feel
ing for the dear old man, who has had
many troubles and misfortunes beside the
loss of his sight, and who is now almost
entirely dependent for his support upon
the petty salary of a year which he
receives as chaplain of the Senate. This
sympathy with Dr. Milburn was strik
ingly. shown when the republicans of
Speaker Heed’s congress, finding him
ehao.ain of the House, re-elected him to
that office, in spite of the fact that there
were several active republican can
didates for it, and that Dr. Milburn was
well known to be a democrat, while they
sweot every other democratic office
holder around the House out of place.
THE HOUSE OPENING .
The House of Representatives is seldomf
if ever a truly dignified body. Most o
tho time it is undignified, if not disord
erly It has an untidy look from the
galleries with members smoking ail over
the floor in defiance of the rules, sitting
with their feet up on their desks, occasion
ally appearing in shirt sleeves from the
cloak room barber shops, lounging around
in awkward attitudes and strewing their
desks and the floor with newspapers, torn
envelopes and bits of paper. Tidy people
in tho galleries, and especially good house
keepers. are apt to be dis rusted with llie
House of Representatives at the first
glance. The only time in the day in
which the House is entirely decorous is at
the opening, when the chaplain is pray
ing. There is no ceremony about it. The
speaker and the chaplain walk in just be
fore 12 o’clock. The speaker ascends the
steps to his chair, takes the gavel in
hand, still standing, while the assistant
sert eant-at-arms places the mace, emblem
of the authority of the House, on the
pedestal at the right-then the speaker
says, bringing his gavel down. “The House
will be in order ;, the chaplain will offer
prayer,” and tho chaplain, who has
quietly taken his place behind the clerk s
desk, offers prayer in a very brief and
business-like fashion. The House im
mediately bocomes noisy with conversa
tion and everybody recognizes that it has
begun to grind again.
The present chaplain of the House is a
young Methodist, from Virginia, a tall,
thin, smooth-faced man named Bagby, a
very earnest preacher, who is well known
as a revivalist and takes an active part in
the Moody meetings. It is one of the
curiosities of tho contests over tho office
of chaplain, which are always as lively as
those over the other House offices, that
Mr. Bagby owed his election to the
electioneering efforts of Private John
Allen, of Mississippi, supplemented by one
of that worthy’s wittiest speeches in the
democratic caucus. Private John Allen
thought this wag pre-eminently the joke
of this congress, and everybody who
knows him agrees with him, without
meaning any disrespect to Chaplain
Bagby, who was not held responsible for
his advocate.
BULLET-PROOF COATS.
Testa of the Remarkable Invention
of a Mannheim Tailor.
From the New York Press.
Berlin, April 10.—Experts in military
affairs throughout Europe are discussing
the recent experiment made with the bul
let-proof coat invented by Herr Dowe, the
Mannheim tailor. There seems to be no
longer any doubt that Dowe’s invention is
a most valuable one.
The Russian ambassador, Count von
Sohouvalofl. at the Russian embassy, on
Sunday last, fired two shots at the tailor
while the latter was incased in his bul
lel-proof coat. Dowe sustained no injury.
The police, until the exjiorimcnt re
ferred to, had issued an order prohibiting
any further experiments such as firing at
Dowe, or any other man, with the coat as
a protection, claiming that it was a dan
gorous proceeding. But it now seems
likely that the police will no longer in
terfere. as the value of the invention has
been so clearly demonstrated that there
no longer remains any ground for doubt
4.
Now don’t I look a healthy lotf
O! hey O! hey OI
O my! see what a color I’ve got
O! hey O! hey O!
So white folks, when you feel too white.
Be sure your libber don’t work right;
But old rye whisky will set you right!
O! hey O! hey 01
that the tailor has invented a bullet
proof material.
The experiments before Count Voa
Seliouvaloff were not confined to simply
firing two shots at Dowe. They begun
with a thorough test of the now rifle ia
use in the German army. From a box of
cartridges one was selected at random,
the rifle loaded and fired at a block of
solid oak, which was pierced by the
small steel bullet. This showed that the
riiie and cartridges were of the regula
tion pattern, well calculated to test the
value of the most efficient steel cuirasses
ever manufactured. In fact, it was
stated that no knightly armor was ever
manufactured which could withstand a
shot from the rifle now in use in the army
of Germany.
After the shot at the block of oak
Dowe dressed himself in his bulletproof
coat and offered himself as a target.
While the rifle was being aimed at the
taiWr the spectators were strung to an
extreme state of nervousness, and in
stinctively closed their eyes in anticipa
tion of seeing Dowe killed upon the spot
After the report of the rifle rang out the
tailor was seen standing, unhurt. Dowe
noticed the state of excitement produced
by the experiment, for he smiled and
said: “I feel nothing.”
A second shot was then fired directly
at the tailor’s heart, but the tailor was
absolutely unhurt. But bullets were
found imbedded in the bullet proof coat
which covered his breast and body, in the
manner which it is proposed to adopt for
soldiers, leaving the arms and legs, as
well as the head, without protection.
Then commenced a second series of ex
periments which were even more inter
esting than the first. A horse was cov
ered with a bullet proof coat, for it is pro
posed that the cavalry of the future is to
be protected by the material invented by
tho tailor of Mannheim. A number ol
shots were fired in quick succession at
tho animal while it was quietly eating
oats from a manger. The horse, a well
trained cavalry mount, started slightly
at the first shot, apparently, however,
only disturbed by the unexpected report
of the rifle. Then other shots were fired,
as quickly as possiole, some of them
striking almost in the same place as pre
vious bullets, but tho horse continnca
eating as if nothing extraordinary was
happening.
As in the case of the bullet-proof coat
worn by Herr Dowe himself, all the bui
lds fired at the coat covering the horso
were found to be imbedded inthe material
A naval officer asked Herr Dowe if tua
Dullet-proor armor could bo applied to
warships, and he was ussured by \5 10 . 1 1 “’
ventor that a ship protected by his bullet
proof material could stand a pounding
from all the warships in the world win ■
out sustaining any considerable damage.
The now garment looks like ordinary
army clothing material, the res'snn-.
secret substance being placed beneath u
outside cloth. The garment is in the na
ture of a breastplate, and is fastened
the side buttons of tho soldier's unifon •
it is only to be used in actual warfar ,
and weighs about six pounds. ,
A largo firm of army contractors one
Dowe an enormous sum for his invent >
but the tailor refused. Representati -
of several foreign governments have n
making strong efforts to obtain ”
Dowe's secret, but it is said all these
forts have failed, and patriotic Germ
have expressed tho desire that the ”
man government should secure '
Dowe's secret, so that the bullet-pro
coats may be used by tho German a
alone. It is said that 8.000,000
have been offered to Herr Dowe by
German government for his Invention. -
as an alternative, 100 years' guarauti:
the monopoly of supplying thei>er
government with the necessary uu 1
of cuirasses at tho rato of 1- 111
apiece.
If you decide to take Hood's Snrs&P*
rilla do not be induced to buy an.
stitute article. Take Hood's and
Hood’s.—ad.